E81 - “A Woman's Best Make Up is Her Smile”

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] Otae
    I want to go back...
[00:10] ---
    I...
[00:12] ---
    want to go back to everyone.
[00:23] Gintoki
    Shinpachi!
[00:24] Binbokusai
    Your captain is finished.
[00:26] ---
    It's over.
[00:34] Gintoki
    Old man.
[00:37] Gintoki
    Your grandchild doesn't seem to realize that...
[00:39] Gintoki
    People have been protecting her, her whole life.
[00:49] Binbokusai
    Where's...
[00:50] Binbokusai
    your wooden sword?
[00:52] Gintoki
    Uh-oh...
[00:54] ---
    Where could it have gone?
[00:59] Binbokusai
    Kyubei?!
[01:05] Shinpachi
    Ahh...I finally found them.
[01:08] Gintoki
    Shinpachi.
[01:11] Shinpachi
    You can see clearly now, right?
[01:13] ---
    What you're fighting to protect?
[01:15] ---
    What's important?
[01:18] Shinpachi
    I can see just fine now!
SIGN    [It's the final chapter of the Yagyu Arc! The long battle (with a one-episode break) finally comes to a conclusion!]
SIGN    [Do you remember the rule that whoever breaks the opposing captain's plate wins?]
SIGN    ["A Woman's Best Make Up is Her Smile"]
[03:16] Kyubei (M)
    Tsk, I let my guard down and he got me.
[03:21] Shinpachi (M)
    If this fight drags on, the difference in our skill levels will become obvious.
[03:24] ---
    I have to finish this match right now!
[04:08] Kyubei (M)
    Will I get Shinpachi-kun first?
[04:11] ---
    Or will you get Grandfather first?
[04:15] ---
    You think you can beat the lightning speed of my sword?!
[04:19] Shinpachi (M)
    No!
[04:20] Shinpachi (M)
    He's not after me!
[04:21] ---
    He's after...
[04:22] Shinpachi (M)
    That leaves an opening to go after the captain...!
[04:25] Kyubei (M)
    The most dangerous opponent is...
[04:26] ---
    you!
[04:33] Kyubei (M)
    What?!
[04:46] ---
    Shinpachi!
[04:48] Shinpachi
    Got it!
[04:51] Binbokusai (M)
    You read Kyubei's intentions in the blink of an eye,
[04:53] Binbokusai (M)
    and not only did you break his plate, but you grabbed both swords as well.
[04:57] ---
    Outstanding.
[05:01] Binbokusai (M)
    But as I told you before-
[05:02] Binbokusai (M)
    you can't win this battle
[05:03] Binbokusai (M)
    carrying a burden like him on your shoulders.
[05:07] Binbokusai (M)
    It's not that simple!
[05:18] Binbokusai (M)
    Looking after that kid to the very end is what made you lose.
[05:22] Binbokusai (M)
    Why were you so determined to do that?!
[05:33] Gintoki
    End it, Shinpachi.
[06:10] Binbokusai
    Sorry, I lost.
[06:14] Kondo
    We!
[06:14] Kondo
    Won!
[06:16] Kagura
    Shinpachi!
[06:19] Kagura
    Don't be so big-headed, dammit!
[06:22] ---
    It was mostly thanks to Gin-chan that you won!
[06:24] Kondo
    That's my brother-in-law for you!
[06:25] ---
    You're the only one I can entrust the Shinsengumi to!
[06:27] Shinpachi
    Who're you calling your bother-in-law?!
[06:29] ---
    I don't give a damn about the Shinsengumi!
[06:31] Okita
    I've made another rival.
SIGN    [Note: Okita now has to fight Hijikata AND Shinpachi for the vice-chief position.]
[06:50] Student
    Impossible!
[06:51] ---
    How could the Young Lord and Binbokusai-sama lose?
[06:53] Koshinori
    Damn you all!
[06:55] Koshinori
    What're you waiting for?!
[06:56] ---
    That game meant nothing from the very beginning!
[06:58] ---
    Forget about that and slay those scoundrels!
[07:01] ---
    Don't let them sully our celebrity pedigree any further!
[07:03] Binbokusai
    Koshinori, that's enough.
[07:07] Binbokusai
    We lost.
[07:08] ---
    Back down.
[07:10] ---
    Kyubei made them a promise himself.
[07:13] ---
    Return Otae-chan without a fight.
[07:16] ---
    Papa!
[07:17] ---
    I was against two women from the very start...
[07:19] Binbokusai
    Don't say any more.
[07:20] Koshinori
    I know we told her to become a man, but...!
[07:23] Binbokusai
    Don't say any more.
[07:26] Binbokusai
    I'm sorry, Kyubei.
[07:28] ---
    But this may have turned out for the best.
[07:44] Gintoki
    Man, woman... I'm not going to hold it against you.
[07:47] ---
    But I think he knew...
[07:51] Gintoki
    why you tried to be his left eye.
[07:56] Gintoki
    And you knew, too.
[07:59] ---
    Going to him while shouldering that burden wasn't going to solve anything.
[08:06] Gintoki
    You both knew that doing something like this wasn't going to make anyone happy.
[08:16] Otae
    I'm...sorry...
[08:22] Gintoki
    You don't have to apologize.
[08:24] ---
    Nobody does.
[08:26] Gintoki
    Everyone was simply trying to protect what was important to them.
[08:32] Gintoki
    That's all this was.
[08:43] Otae
    Forgive me...
[08:46] ---
    I...I will be your left eye, Kyu-chan.
[08:51] ---
    I should have known.
[08:53] Koshinori
    Kyubei!
[08:54] ---
    To survive in this Yagyu clan, you have to become strong!
[08:59] Kyubei (M)
    I should have known.
[09:01] Gintoki
    Everyone was simply trying to protect what was important to them.
[09:07] Gintoki
    That's all this was.
[09:16] Kyubei
    What that man said is right.
[09:19] ---
    I knew it all along.
[09:22] Kyubei
    My selfishness shackled you with a heavy burden.
[09:26] ---
    I knew what you were feeling, but pretended to ignore it,
[09:30] ---
    all because I wanted you near me.
[09:33] Kyubei
    Yet you still tried to protect me...
[09:38] Kyubei
    by saying you'd become my left eye...
[09:42] Kyubei
    I also knew that Father and Grandfather were trying to protect me by raising me as a boy.
[09:48] ---
    But somewhere inside of me, I resented them for it.
[09:51] Kyubei
    They made me into someone who is neither man nor woman...
[09:55] Kyubei
    No one else is to blame for my becoming like this... It's my fault for being weak.
[10:01] Kyubei
    Yet everyone tried to protect me to the very end.
[10:06] Kyubei
    As it turned out, everyone was protecting me-nothing had changed.
[10:12] ---
    I couldn't keep any of my promises.
[10:18] Kyubei
    I'm...weak.
[10:33] Kyubei
    Tae-chan...
[10:36] Kyubei
    Tae-chan...
[10:38] Kyubei
    Why did things turn out this way?
[10:41] Kyubei
    When did it start...?
[10:47] Kyubei
    I wanted to play house and cat's cradle with everyone else.
[10:54] ---
    I wanted to wear a pretty kimono and walk around town like everyone else.
[11:00] Kyubei
    I wanted to become like you, Tae-chan... A strong girl with a kind heart.
[11:07] Otae
    Kyu-chan... You are Kyu-chan.
[11:12] Otae
    It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl.
[11:15] ---
    You're my precious and dear friend.
[11:18] Otae
    So...don't cry...
[11:28] Otae
    And you call yourself a...samurai...
[11:38] Kyubei
    Tae-chan.
[11:41] Kyubei
    I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...
[11:48] Otae
    But today, it's okay to cry.
[12:01] Otae
    After all, you are a girl.
[12:19] Hostesses
    Welcome!
[12:22] Hostess A
    Who is this mummy?!
[12:24] Hostess B
    Don't come near me!
[12:26] ---
    Go away evil spirit!
[12:30] Black Coat
    Hijikata-san, who would you like?
[12:37] Otae
    I see.
[12:38] ---
    They all couldn't come...
[12:41] ---
    I caused so much trouble, so I wanted to make it up to them.
[12:45] Otae
    I'm sorry about what happened to you, too, Hijikata-san.
[12:48] ---
    Because of me...you look like a mummy.
[12:51] Hijikata
    I didn't do it for you.
[12:53] ---
    I went to fight, and came out a mummy, that's all.
[12:56] Otae
    I'm...as low as it gets, aren't I?
[13:00] Otae
    As it turns out, I did a selfish thing...and hurt everyone.
[13:05] ---
    I caused trouble for Kyu-chan and everyone else.
[13:08] Otae
    I did those things with half-hearted feelings,
[13:11] Otae
    and wasn't even able to go through with it in the end.
[13:14] ---
    What I did didn't help anyone.
[13:19] Hijikata
    You're not Buddha.
[13:21] ---
    You think you can bring salvation to everyone you meet?
[13:25] Hijikata
    There are people you can save and others you can't save no matter how hard you try.
[13:29] Hijikata
    Is the way you live your life so fragile that you'd break just because of that?
[13:37] Hijikata
    Right now,
[13:39] Hijikata
    if there was someone you could save with that half-hearted sort of kindness you just talked about...
[13:43] Hijikata
    What would you do?
[13:49] Emcee
    Thank you all for your patience.
[13:52] Emcee
    The bride and groom will now make their entrance!
[14:14] Shinpachi
    Gin-san.
[14:15] Shinpachi
    How do people end up in situations like this?
[14:18] Gintoki
    This is just one step away from a shitty marriage meeting.
[14:22] Okita
    Boss, this isn't something to laugh about.
[14:25] Okita
    No, I'm not laughing.
[14:26] ---
    I can't.
[14:28] ---
    This is the first time I've felt like crying at another man's wedding.
[14:30] Okita
    Isn't there anything we can do?
[14:33] Okita
    This reception is simply a formality to introduce the couple.
[14:36] ---
    Later, they'll go to the Princess's planet.
[14:39] ---
    Once the formal wedding is done, Kondo-san will become one of the gorillas.
[14:42] ---
    He's not coming back.
[14:43] ---
    Tonight is our only chance to ruin the match.
[14:46] Gintoki
    Did you say ruin, Okita-kun?
[14:48] ---
    This reception's been ruined from the start.
[14:50] ---
    There's nothing but gorillas here.
[14:52] ---
    Not even I can ruin something that's been ruined from the start.
[14:55] ---
    Nothing but gorillas.
[14:56] Okita
    That's cruel, Boss.
[14:58] ---
    After all is said and done, the Shinsengumi did play a role in rescuing Mistress.
[15:02] Do This And We’Ll Call It Even.Kondo
    Do this and we'll call it even.
[15:06] Do This And We’Ll Call It Even.Kondo
    This is Kondo.
[15:07] ---
    Respond, over.
[15:08] ---
    What're you guys waiting for?!
[15:10] ---
    Hurry up and ruin this reception! Over.
[15:12] Kondo
    This is what you're good at!
[15:14] ---
    I didn't invite you guys just for the banquet! Over.
[15:17] Gintoki
    What banquet? There's nothing but bananas!
[15:20] ---
    Don't treat us like fools! Over.
[15:23] Kondo
    We Shinsengumi can't do anything violent this time.
[15:26] Kondo
    Old man Matsudaira is behind this marriage.
[15:29] ---
    If we go against him, the Shinsengumi will be finished!
[15:31] Kondo
    That's why you outsiders are the only ones I can ask. Over.
[15:34] Kagura
    Where are these from? Over.
[15:36] Kondo
    Huh?
[15:37] Kagura
    I'm asking where these bananas are from. Over.
[15:40] Kondo
    Never mind the bananas! You like those bananas, don't you?! Over.
[15:44] Kagura
    Bananas are the king of fruits. Over.
[15:48] Kondo
    Don't "over" me!
[15:49] ---
    You don't need to report such things! Over.
[15:51] Gintoki
    Hey, I have to pee. Where's the john?
[15:54] ---
    Over.
[15:55] Kondo
    Ask someone near you! Over.
[15:57] Okita
    Boss, I'll show you. Follow me. Over.
[16:00] Over.Kondo
    What's the point of doing that over the transceiver?!
[16:02] ---
    You're just talking amongst yourselves! Over.
[16:05] Kondo (M)
    I'm doomed!
[16:07] ---
    They have no intention of rescuing me! Over.
[16:10] Emcee
    Will the bride and groom please step forward?
[16:13] Emcee
    We have kept you all in suspense long enough.
[16:16] ---
    We will now have...
[16:17] Emcee
    the couple do their first ceremony together as husband and wife.
[16:25] Kondo (M)
    Whaaat?!
[16:26] ---
    Just a min... Whaaa?!
[16:30] Kondo (M)
    Isn't it usually the cutting of the cake?!
[16:32] ---
    Or the banana?!
[16:34] Kondo (M)
    No, no, no, no.
[16:35] ---
    Something's wrong here.
[16:36] ---
    It's definitely something that's done together, but not this!
[16:39] ---
    Pops, what's going on?!
[16:41] Matsudaira (M)
    Kondo, this is a Planet Shojo wedding tradition to show respect
[16:46] Matsudaira (M)
    for the prosperity of their offspring.
[16:48] Show Them You’Re A Man.Kondo (M)
    Show them you're a man.
[16:50] Show Them You’Re A Man.Kondo (M)
    What's with that thumbs up?!
[16:52] ---
    You want me to do it?!
[16:52] ---
    Is that what you want?!
[16:53] ---
    Somebody, break that thumb!
[16:56] Kondo (M)
    You've got to be kidding!
[16:57] ---
    This isn't some perverted video shoot!
[16:59] Kondo (M)
    I'm not Kato!
[17:01] ---
    I'm not a hawk, I'm a sparrow!
SIGN    [Note: Refers to male porn actor Taka Kato. Taka means "hawk" in Japanese.]
[17:02] ---
    That's what I am!
[17:03] Kondo (M)
    Even worse, everyone's watching!
[17:06] ---
    Until a minute ago, they were enamored over their bananas,
[17:07] ---
    but now they want to watch my banana?!
[17:09] Kondo (M)
    Shinpachi-kun, help me!
[17:11] Shinpachi
    I'm taking the rest home with me.
[17:13] Kondo (M)
    Forget the Tupperware!
[17:15] ---
    You don't have to take bananas home!
[17:16] ---
    How domestic can you get?!
[17:23] Kondo
    Otae-san.
[17:25] Kondo
    I wanted to see your smiling face one last time.
[17:47] Gintoki
    I got some on my left hand. Over.
[17:50] Okita
    I dribbled a little outside. Over.
[17:53] Okita
    Boss, how has Mistress been?
[17:57] Gintoki
    She's been a bit down.
[17:59] ---
    Women are troublesome because they're so difficult to figure out.
[18:02] Okiita
    If things end like this, Kondo-san's efforts will have been for nothing.
[18:05] ---
    He worked so hard just to see her smile.
[18:08] Gintoki
    Don't worry about it.
[18:09] ---
    The thing about women is they get depressed on their own and they get over it on their own.
[18:12] Okita
    That's not what I meant.
[18:15] Okita
    If Kondo-san ends up going to the planet of the apes, he'll have nothing at all.
[18:18] ---
    Boss, isn't there anything we can do?
[18:22] Gintoki
    You don't have to worry about it with that woman.
[18:25] Gintoki
    She'll...
[18:30] Gintoki
    make it up to him.
[18:33] Kondo
    Otae-saaan!
[18:34] Shinpachi
    Sis!
[18:36] Members
    Mistress!
[18:38] Yamazaki
    Finally!
[18:39] ---
    She's finally made up her mind to be the Chief's wife!
[18:45] Yamazaki
    The gorillas!
[18:46] Yamazaki
    Oh shoot!
[18:49] Never Mind!Member A
    Let's go, guys!
[18:50] ---
    The Shinsengumi can't lose to the likes of gorillas!
[18:54] Yamazaki
    We'll decide who our Chief's bride is going to be!
[18:57] Members
    Protect the Chief and Mistress's path to love!
[19:02] Kondo (M)
    Guys...
[19:05] Matsudaira
    Kondo!
[19:06] ---
    Why didn't you tell me you were in love with someone?!
[19:09] Matsudaira
    This old man did something he shouldn't have!
[19:12] ---
    Be happy!
[19:14] Kondo (M)
    Pops...
[19:16] Kondo (M)
    All you guys... Everyone...
[19:24] Kondo (M)
    I want to go back...
[19:26] ---
    I...
[19:28] Kondo (M)
    want to go back to everyone.
[19:33] Kondo (M)
    Otae-san.
[19:35] Otae
    You bastards!
[19:36] ---
    What the hell are you doing with my hu...
[19:39] Kondo (M)
    Hu-Husband?!
[19:40] ---
    Her man?!
[19:42] Gintoki
    So what's the bottom line?
[19:44] Okita
    How does Mistress really feel about Kondo-san?
[19:47] Hijikata
    You guys don't understand women at all, do you?
[19:51] Hijikata
    She loves him.
[19:52] ---
    Playing hard to get is a sign of love.
[19:55] ---
    She loves him, all right.
[19:57] Otae
    What kind of sick show were you going to expose my brother to?!
[20:09] ---
    Sis!
[20:11] ---
    Big Sis!
[20:14] Yamazaki
    Mistress!
[20:18] Receptionist
    At least tell us your name.
[20:21] Kyubei
    It's merely a gesture of my goodwill.
[20:23] Receptionist
    But this is such a large gift...
[20:26] Kyubei
    I want to do it....
[20:27] ---
    I caused quite a lot of trouble...
[20:30] ---
    And besides...
[20:33] Kyubei
    I finally saw what I wanted to see.
[20:53] Kyubei
    This is where it was, after all.
SIGN    [A Minute with 9th Grade Class Z Ginpachi Sensei]
[23:39] Gintoki
    A minute with...
[23:40] All
    Ginpachi Sensei!
[23:44] Gintoki
    Today, I have some news for everyone.
[23:47] ---
    Onishi-kun, who studied with us for a year-and-a-half
[23:50] ---
    here at GinTama High School, is transferring to the prestigious One Piece High School.
[23:55] ---
    He insists that it was because of his father's job
[23:58] ---
    and not because the academic standards are higher at the other school.
[24:03] ---
    It's unfortunate, after we all got to know each other.
[24:06] ---
    But remember you will all still be friends even if you're separated.
[24:10] ---
    So, Onishi, stand out in hallway one last time.
SIGN    [The next episode...]
[24:16] Gintoki
    Subject: Poopy.
[24:17] ---
    I'm in deep poop!
[24:18] ---
    Deep, deep poopy!
[24:20] ---
    Real deep.
[24:21] ---
    How deep? I'm talking deep.
[24:23] ---
    What the hell is this?!
[24:24] Gintoki
    The next episode... "You Say Kawaii so Often, You Must Really Think You're Cute Stuff."
SIGN    [And in the episode after that, the Odd Jobs becomes warriors?! "You Don't Stand in Line for the Ramen, You Stand in Line for the Self Satisfaction."]
SIGN    [(Administrative Notice) We have sad news to report. Please wait until further notice.]