E148 - Zip Up Your Fly Nice and Slowly Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [01:45] Hijikata     This is... [01:59] Okita     You're awake? [02:02] Okita     I think we screwed up. [02:07] Hijikata     Ow. [02:08] Hijikata     I can't remember anything. [02:10] Hijikata     Feels like I was hit in the head. [02:14] Hijikata     What happened? [02:15] Hijikata     Where are we? [02:17] Hijikata     Why are we chained up in here? [02:20] Okita     You don't remember, Hijikata-san? [02:23] Okita     Someone attacked us from behind during our night patrol... [02:31] Hijikata     Bastard... [02:36] Hijikata     So we've been captured. [02:39] Okita     Yes. [02:40] Okita     Since the moon is out again, we've probably been out for a whole day. [02:44] Okita     I don't know where we are. [02:47] Okita     Probably a room in some ruin. [02:49] Okita     We're definitely somewhere remote of human life. [02:52] Okita     I yelled at the top of my lungs and got no response. [02:55] Okita     In fact, I can't even sense the presence of other people. [02:58] Okita     It appears that the people who captured us aren't around either. [03:02] Hijikata     Damn it! [03:03] Hijikata     We've really lost our edge. [03:05] Hijikata     Who the hell did this?! [03:08] Jigzaw     It appears you understand your current situation... [03:11] Jigzaw     Shinsengumi Vice-Chief Toshiro Hijikata-kun... [03:14] Jigzaw     And 1st Division Captain Sogo Okita-kun. [03:17] Hijikata     Who the hell are you? [03:19] Jigzaw     Pleased to meet you. [03:21] Jigzaw     My name is Jigzaw. SIGN    ["Zip Up Your Fly Nice and Slowly."] [03:31] Jigzaw     Hijikata-kun and Okita-kun, welcome to my game of death. [03:35] Hijikata     Jigzaw? [03:37] Hijikata     You're the one who's behind this crap? [03:39] Hijikata     Another Anti-foreigner Faction? [03:40] Hijikata     You must be one hell of a coward to hide behind a mask on that monitor. [03:46] Jigzaw     Your barking befits a government dog, Hijikata-kun. [03:51] Jigzaw     Your current look becomes you. [03:54] Jigzaw     But you shouldn't be snarling at me right now. [03:58] Jigzaw     Shouldn't you be wagging your tail and begging for your life? [04:03] Hijikata     What was that?! [04:05] Hijikata     Get your ass down here! [04:08] Jigzaw     A mere joke. No need to throw a hissy fit. [04:11] Jigzaw     I merely wanted to imitate those patriots. [04:16] Jigzaw     Too bad, Hijikata-kun. [04:19] Jigzaw     I am not one of those barbaric Anti-foreigner Faction members. [04:22] Jigzaw     I hold no grudge against the Shinsengumi, [04:26] Jigzaw     and I have no reason to oppose you. [04:29] Jigzaw     I just happen to be a fan. [04:32] Jigzaw     I always see the exploits of the Shinsengumi on TV and in the newspaper. [04:38] Jigzaw     You and your comrades have endured all sorts of hardship because of your trust in one another. [04:45] Jigzaw     An iron bond that cannot be broken. [04:48] Jigzaw     Yes, that bond is your strongest weapon. [04:52] Jigzaw     That is what has drawn my intense attraction. [04:55] Jigzaw     A true fan would want to see it in person. [05:01] Jigzaw     Sorry about the short notice, but I have an announcement to make. [05:03] Jigzaw     In three days, in other words, in 72 hours at 7 PM, [05:08] Jigzaw     the Shinsengumi station where your comrades are [05:11] Jigzaw     will be blown to smithereens by a time bomb I have placed. [05:18] Jigzaw     The bomb has been placed in the communications room. [05:21] Jigzaw     You are the only ones who know. [05:24] Jigzaw     Which would mean that you're the only ones who can stop it. [05:28] Hijikata     Wh-What are you trying to... [05:32] Jigzaw     This is a game. [05:34] Jigzaw     I want to play a game to test how strong your bond is. [05:40] Jigzaw     You are the only ones who can save your comrades. [05:42] Jigzaw     But first, you need to break those chains and escape from this room. [05:50] Jigzaw     Don't worry. This is a game. [05:53] Jigzaw     A game with no goal is no fun. [05:56] Jigzaw     I've prepared a goal. [05:59] Jigzaw     There's a passageway under this monitor. [06:02] Jigzaw     I've placed the key at the end of the passage. [06:06] Jigzaw     Of course, I'm talking about the key to undo your chains. [06:13] Hijikata     This is as far as the chain goes. [06:15] Hijikata     We can't reach back there. [06:17] Hijikata     Stop messing with us! [06:18] Hijikata     How are we supposed to get back there?! [06:21] Jigzaw     The two of you are bound by one chain that's wound around a pipe. [06:25] Jigzaw     If one of you pulls on the chain, it becomes shorter for the other side. [06:31] Jigzaw     If one of you retreats against the wall and the other one pulls the chain as far as possible, [06:38] Jigzaw     you may be able to reach it. [06:41] Hijikata     Stop giving me crap! [06:47] Hijikata     I'm on the wall! On the wall! [06:48] Hijikata     Sogo! You bastard! [06:50] Hijikata     What are you doing?! [06:52] Okita     Hijikata-san, could you press against the wall more? [06:54] Okita     I'm almost there. [06:56] Hijikata     Don't be stupid! [06:57] Hijikata     Are you trying to crush me to death?! [06:59] Hijikata     You're not going to reach it! [07:00] Hijikata     He's tricking you! [07:02] Hijikata     That guy just wants to have fun toying with us! [07:05] Hijikata     The bomb at the station could just be a lie! [07:08] Hijikata     Calm down for a second! [07:10] Jigzaw     Hijikata-kun, you're free to believe me or not, [07:15] Jigzaw     but that key is the only way out of here for you two. [07:21] Jigzaw     I apologize. [07:23] Jigzaw     I need to correct myself. [07:25] Jigzaw     That key is the only way out of here for one of you. [07:32] Hijikata     One... of us? [07:35] Hijikata     What do you mean? [07:38] Jigzaw     Those shackles on you contain a bomb set to go off under a certain condition. [07:46] Jigzaw     The condition for explosion is the unlocking of the other person's shackles. [07:53] Jigzaw     Once one bomb has been disarmed, a signal will be sent to the other bomb to detonate. [08:02] Jigzaw     In other words, if you don't obtain the key first, unlock your shackles, and disarm the bomb, [08:08] Jigzaw     whoever's left will... [08:10] Jigzaw     die. [08:17] Okita     Hijikata-san, didn't you say that we shouldn't let him toy with us? [08:20] Hijikata     There's nothing wrong with playing along once in a while! [08:23] Hijikata     It wasn't easy making it big in the city after moving from the country! [08:27] Jigzaw     It appears that you've woken up, Hijitaka-kun. [08:30] Jigzaw     In order to save your precious comrades, you must first kill one of your precious comrades here. [08:37] Hijikata     Y-You bastard! [08:41] Jigzaw     Why don't you show me how your bond will guide you through this trial? [08:52] Mom     Hiro-kun! Dinner's ready! [08:56] Hijikata     Hey! Why'd he cut off there?! [08:58] Hijikata     His mom? [08:59] Hijikata     That was his mom was calling him, right? [09:01] Hijikata     She called him Hiro-kun, right? [09:03] Hijikata     That didn't sound anything like Jigzaw, right?! [09:04] Hijikata     Who the hell is he? What does he want? [09:07] Hijikata     How dare he make fools of us! [09:09] Hijikata     Why did this happen... [09:11] Hijikata     Why are we in this situation... [09:12] Hijikata     Why... [09:14] Hijikata     Why did it have to happen when I was with this guy... [09:18] Hijikata     I'm dead. [09:19] Hijikata     Without a doubt, I'm dead. [09:22] Hijikata     He's always wanted to get rid of me. [09:25] Hijikata     He's pulled all kinds of crap to try to take the position of Vice-Chief from me. [09:30] Hijikata     But the watchful eyes of the other officers, [09:32] Hijikata     Kondo-san acting as a brake, [09:34] Hijikata     and the fact that I'm his superior [09:36] Hijikata     combined to stop him when things got dangerous. [09:41] Hijikata     But now, he's been given a legitimate reason. [09:45] Hijikata     He killed me to save everyone. [09:47] Hijikata     He killed me to stop the bomb. [09:49] Hijikata     This is dangerous. Very dangerous. [09:51] Hijikata     The station's also in danger, but my life is in even more danger! [09:55] Okita     Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san. [09:58] Hijikata     Wh-What is it? [09:59] Okita     You okay over there? Seemed a little spaced out. [10:01] Okita     Don't tell me that imitation psycho's got you spooked. [10:06] Hijikata     Hell no! Don't look down on me! [10:08] Hijikata     Damn bastard looking down on me! [10:10] Hijikata     I'll kill you bastard! [10:13] Okita     Hijikata-san. [10:15] Okita     Could we stop standing like this? [10:17] Hijikata     That's right. [10:18] Hijikata     It's okay now. [10:19] Hijikata     Okay, yeah? [10:20] Hijikata     Then we'll go at the same time. [10:22] Hijikata     Relax at the same time. [10:23] Hijikata     On the count of three. [10:25] Okita     Hijikata-san. [10:26] Okita     Do you think I'm going to go for the key the second you relax? [10:31] Hijikata     No, no. No way. [10:32] Hijikata     Not the least bit, but this prevents any potential trouble. [10:36] Hijikata     And I don't want you suspecting me. [10:38] Okita     Give me a break. [10:40] Okita     You don't have to worry this time. [10:42] Okita     The Shinsengumi's in serious trouble. [10:45] Okita     This isn't the time for us to be fighting amongst ourselves. [10:47] Hijikata     I know that, fool. [10:49] Hijikata     I can differentiate between serious parts and gag parts. [10:52] Hijikata     Don't get the wrong idea. [10:53] Okita     Man, I'm depending on you, you know. [10:59] Okita     You just jumped. [11:04] Okita     I just have to take a piss. [11:06] Okita     I was out cold since yesterday so it's been a day since I've gone. [11:09] Okita     Don't you need to piss, too? [11:12] Hijikata     Now that you mention it, yeah. [11:13] Okita     You should probably take care of it while I am. [11:17] Okita     Once I'm finished, you'll be too jumpy to do your business. [11:20] Hijikata     I'm said I'm not jumpy! [11:22] Hijikata     Don't look down on me. [11:24] Hijikata     Cut it out already. [11:25] Hijikata     I'm not jumpy, but I need to piss, so I have no choice. [11:28] Hijikata     I'm not doing this because I'm jumpy. [11:31] Hijikata     Hurry it up. [11:33] Hijikata     Finish my business while he's still going. [11:35] Hijikata     Going to the bathroom, sleeping, and eating are when a person is most vulnerable. [11:38] Hijikata     If I don't take care of this now, I won't be getting another chance... [11:41] Hijikata     Wait! [11:42] Hijikata     Could this be... a trap? [11:45] Hijikata     He's only pretending to take a piss, [11:48] Hijikata     and once I'm urinating, he plans to go for the key. [11:54] Hijikata     Wait. Calm down. [11:56] Hijikata     Drag this out as long as I can. [11:58] Hijikata     Don't release until I can be sure he's urinating. [12:01] Hijikata     Release when he does. [12:03] Hijikata     If I'm too late, he'll have a chance if I take longer. [12:06] Hijikata     No piss. He isn't pissing! [12:09] Hijikata     So this is a trap. [12:10] Hijikata     I was about to be fooled. [12:12] Hijikata     ...Sogo! Too weak. [12:14] Hijikata     I'm not going to fall for your scheme... [12:17] Hijikata     I-It... [12:18] Hijikata     It's stuck! SIGN    [Note: Parody of the movie "There's Something About Mary"] [12:20] Hijikata     Damn it! [12:22] Hijikata     I zipped up too fast because I was worried about giving him a chance! [12:26] Hijikata     G-Get a grip. [12:29] Hijikata     Don't let me know anything's wrong. [12:30] Hijikata     That'll give him a chance. [12:33] Hijikata     It's okay. [12:34] Hijikata     He hasn't noticed. [12:39] Hijikata     H-He tricked me! [12:41] Hijikata     That bastard! [12:43] Hijikata     First, he pretended that he wasn't going to piss and then he started urinating once I zipped up?! [12:47] Hijikata     That was a feint?! [12:48] Hijikata     It's too late for me to go now. [12:50] Hijikata     He'll definitely finish first. [12:52] Hijikata     And I can't piss a single drop in this intense pain! [12:55] Hijikata     Was this all part of his plan? [12:57] Hijikata     No, it couldn't be. [12:59] Hijikata     That would be impossible for me to deal with. [13:01] Hijikata     I have to give up on taking a piss. [13:02] Hijikata     But I can't let him know. [13:04] Hijikata     Need to pull myself together. [13:05] Hijikata     Show no weakness! Don't give him a chance! [13:07] Okita     Man, that was a long piss. [13:11] Okita     Must have had a bunch built up. [13:13] Okita     Might have been a whole liter. [13:15] Hijikata     Oh, yeah. [13:16] Hijikata     Not sure if I had that much... [13:20] Hijikata     About three drops... [13:23] Okita     Of what? [13:34] Jigzaw     Good day. [13:36] Jigzaw     It's a beautiful morning. [13:38] Jigzaw     How do you feel after spending half a day here? [13:43] Jigzaw     I can see signs of struggling, but it's futile. [13:47] Jigzaw     That chain is made from a special alloy. [13:50] Jigzaw     And this room doesn't contain anything that will help you escape. [13:55] Jigzaw     Besides for the key. [13:57] Jigzaw     It would be much more productive to discuss which one of you will die. [14:03] Jigzaw     You should hurry. [14:05] Jigzaw     There are less than sixty hours to the explosion. [14:07] Jigzaw     If you take too long, you won't be the only victims. [14:10] Jigzaw     All of the members of the Shinsengumi will lose their lives. [14:14] Hijikata     What are you after? [14:16] Hijikata     What's so fun about this? [14:18] Jigzaw     I am Jigzaw. [14:20] Jigzaw     An empty existence born from nothingness. [14:23] Jigzaw     I have nothing. [14:25] Jigzaw     Neither dead nor alive. [14:26] Jigzaw     Neither blood nor flesh nor bone can be found under this mask. [14:31] Jigzaw     Which is why I wish to know. [14:33] Jigzaw     What lies within humans. [14:35] Jigzaw     What lies in the depths of the human heart. [14:38] Jigzaw     What I may find under that skin. [14:41] Jigzaw     Comrades, colleagues, bonds... [14:44] Jigzaw     You can sound hopeful... [14:46] Jigzaw     You can hide behind a mask of ideals... [14:49] Jigzaw     But humans will abandon it all once they're cornered. [14:54] Jigzaw     Revealing the ugly face behind the mask. [14:56] Jigzaw     My empty heart is finally filled when I see the ugly entrails spread along the floor. [15:04] Jigzaw     That is my sole amusement. [15:07] Jigzaw     You are fortunate people who have been invited to my game. [15:12] Jigzaw     Entertain me... with your lives. [15:19] Mom     Hiro-kun! [15:20] Mom     What time do you think it is?! [15:21] Mom     Get up already. [15:22] Mom     You'll be late for school... [15:24] Hijikata     His nothingness was just on camera! [15:26] Hijikata     It was just an old lady, right? [15:27] Hijikata     That was just his mom, right? [15:30] Okita     Hijikata-san. [15:31] Okita     We don't have time to worry about that fool. [15:33] Okita     Let's keep working. [15:35] Okita     If we can't break the chain, let's try doing something about the pole. [15:38] Hijikata     Yeah. [15:39] Hijikata     Bastard... When is he going to show his true colors? [15:42] Hijikata     He hasn't let a thing slip. [15:45] Hijikata     I expected him to go straight for the key, end my life, and escape from this place, [15:51] Hijikata     but he's paid no heed to my caution and been like that all night. [15:55] Hijikata     I thought he may even attack me with that stone, but he hasn't done it. [16:00] Hijikata     Does he really intend for both of us to escape this place? [16:05] Hijikata     No, he would never do such a thing. [16:08] Hijikata     Besides, he should know how futile that is. [16:13] Hijikata     We need that key to escape from this place. [16:16] Hijikata     But why won't he move? [16:18] Hijikata     What is he thinking? [16:25] Okita     Bastard... When is he going to show his true colors? [16:29] Okita     He hasn't let a thing slip. [16:31] Okita     I've given him so many opportunities. [16:34] Okita     He had many chances to go for the key. [16:37] Okita     But why won't he act? [16:39] Okita     What is he thinking? [16:40] Hijikata     Act, Sogo. [16:42] Hijikata     I'm ready for you. [16:45] Hijikata     But not to die after being betrayed. [16:48] Okita     Act, Hijikata. [16:50] Okita     I'm prepared. [16:52] Okita     But not to die after being betrayed. [16:56] Both     I'm set to kill you once you betray me. [17:00] Okita     It'd be simple to get the key before him. [17:04] Okita     Then I could get rid of that obstacle, Hijikata, and save the Shinsengumi. [17:08] Okita     But that's what the imitation psycho wants. [17:14] Okita     He wants to watch us lose our trust in each other, betray each other, and reveal our ugly selves. [17:21] Hijikata     I don't want to die at Sogo's hands, but I don't want to act as Jigzaw wants. [17:27] Both     I'll pretend to do the right thing till the end. [17:30] Both     I need him to play the traitor. [17:33] Both     I just have to wait until he makes his move. [17:36] Both     Once he moves, I'll have a legitimate reason to kill him as a traitor in order to save the station. [17:44] Hijikata     You aren't the only one with a reason to eliminate an obstacle. [17:49] Hijikata     If that's what you intend to do, I won't hold back. [17:53] Okita     Act. Make your move. [17:54] Okita     Betray me, Hijikata. [17:57] Both     The second you draw your sword will be your last second! [18:07] Hijikata     He isn't making a move. [18:09] Hijikata     He must be hesitating because I'm being too vigilant. [18:13] Hijikata     I need to actively attempt to create a chance. [18:15] Hijikata     A chance for him to take advantage of me. [18:17] Hijikata     I need to prepare plenty of bait. [18:21] Hijikata     Sogo, why don't you take a break? [18:24] Hijikata     You've been at it since yesterday. [18:26] Hijikata     Your body won't hold up at this rate. [18:29] Hijikata     You'll be a burden if you can't move your legs when we escape. [18:32] Hijikata     Get some sleep and let me take over. [18:34] Hijikata     It'll be noisy, so go over by the passageway. [18:38] Okita     No, Hijikata-san, you look more tired than me. Go to sleep. [18:42] Okita     The area by the key looks cool and refreshing. [18:46] Hijikata     No, you. [18:47] Okita     No, Hijikata-san, you should sleep. [18:50] Hijikata     What's with this guy? He won't make a move. [18:55] Okita     I understand. [18:56] Okita     Then I'll accept your offer and sleep. [18:59] Okita     Please don't run away by yourself while I'm asleep. [19:03] Okita     I'm exhausted so I'll be sound asleep and hard to wake up. [19:06] Hijikata     No, wait. I'll sleep instead. [19:08] Hijikata     On second thought, I'm terribly tired. [19:11] Hijikata     It'll be really hard to wake up once I've fallen asleep. [19:14] Hijikata     I doubt anything could wake me up. [19:17] ---     Here it comes. [19:18] Okita     No, I'll go to sleep. [19:19] Hijikata     I said that I'm sleeping. [19:21] Hijikata     I can barely keep my eyes open. [19:23] Hijikata     Why won't he make a move? [19:24] Hijikata     Why doesn't he take this chance? [19:26] Hijikata     In fact, he's... [19:27] Okita     After coming up with this plan, don't tell me that he's... [19:31] Both     waiting for me to betray him? [19:35] Hijikata     Okay, that's good. [19:37] Hijikata     We'll both sleep. [19:38] Okita     Kondo-san and the others may come to save us while we're sleeping. [19:43] Hijikata     No, he couldn't be. I'm overthinking this. [19:47] Okita     No, he doesn't have the time. [19:49] Okita     His own life and the lives of the Shinsengumi are on the line. [19:53] Hijikata     Good night then. [19:55] Okita     Good night. [19:59] Both     He'll definitely betray me. [20:01] Both     He'll hop out and go for the key before five minutes have passed. [20:17] Hijikata     Hey, morning. [20:19] Okita     Good morning. [20:26] Both     H-Half a day's gone by! [20:29] Both     And I didn't get a wink of sleep! [20:31] Hijikata     All that standing around expecting him to betray me or jump out any second wasted so much time. [20:37] Hijikata     I managed to get some rest. [20:39] Okita     How could I... [20:40] Okita     I wasted precious time and energy... [20:43] Okita     Yeah, I feel so much better. [20:45] Both     No doubt about it. [20:47] Both     This bastard doesn't intend to betray me. [20:50] Hijikata     Damn it, Sogo. [20:52] Hijikata     What's going to happen if you don't betray me? [20:55] Hijikata     If we don't escape from this place, the Shinsengumi will be wiped out! [20:58] Okita     I won't let you force me to play the dirty role, Hijikata. [21:02] Okita     Hurry up and betray me. [21:04] Hijikata     Do you expect me to betray you, Sogo? [21:07] Hijikata     Don't be ridiculous. [21:08] Hijikata     I absolutely won't betray you. [21:10] Hijikata     I'll stick with you to the very end! [21:13] Okita     It's useless, Hijikata. [21:15] Okita     It doesn't matter how dirty you are, I still won't betray you. [21:18] Okita     No matter what happens, you're my buddy! [21:23] Jigzaw     48 hours until the Shinsengumi station goes boom. [21:27] Jigzaw     Well? [21:28] Jigzaw     Have you decided which one will die? [21:33] Okita     Sorry, but neither one of us is going to die. [21:37] Jigzaw     Oh, so you're going to abandon your comrades at the station for the sake of living a little longer in this place. [21:42] Okita     Nobody's going to die. [21:44] Okita     Both of us will escape from this place. [21:46] Hijikata     Th-That's right! [21:48] Hijikata     The two of us will stop the bombing of the Shinsengumi station together! [21:52] Hijikata     And we'll catch you together, without a single member missing! [22:02] Jigzaw     I'm impressed that you can still cling to those ideals. [22:07] Jigzaw     Do you truly believe you can escape without that key? [22:11] Hijikata     We'll find a way if we work together. [22:13] Okita     That's right. [22:14] Okita     Don't look down on us. [22:15] Okita     We will never betray each other! [22:17] Jigzaw     I see. [22:19] Jigzaw     Which means you don't need this key. [22:39] Hijikata     Wh-What?! [22:41] Okita     Th-That's... SIGN     [24:15] Okita     The next episode: [24:16] Okita     "When breaking a Chuubert in half, the end with the knob should blah blah blah." SIGN    [Who is the mysterious assassin sent out by Jigzaw exactly? And he left behind an item to help them escape?!] SIGN    [Time is running out before the bomb explodes and kills everyone. Next time, Shinsengumi Death Game Part 2!!] SIGN    [See you next time.]