212 - Juvia vs. Aries! Desert Duel to the Death!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] ---
    Hot...
[00:09] ---
    And no one else is around...
[00:15] ---
    Aries-san! Come out!
[00:20] ---
    And at last, question number ten.
[00:23] ---
    During the seven years that
    Levy-san and the others were gone,
[00:26] ---
    who shot down Shadow Gear's Droy
    after he fell in love at first sight?
[00:32] ---
    I know that one!
[00:35] ---
    It was Arana from Mermaid Heel!
[00:38] ---
    Correct!
[00:39] ---
    You knew about that one,
    didn't you, Levy-san?
[00:43] ---
    I'm sure Droy-san must've been
    shocked when he heard that.
[00:46] ---
    Mira told me they happened to meet on a job.
[00:51] ---
    And so, let's increase the angle
    of your opponent. Go ahead.
[00:55] ---
    I'm gonna fall! I'm gonna fall!
[01:00] ---
    Well, we're in a fix here.
[01:04] ---
    Out of ten questions, it's a tie, 5-5.
[01:07] ---
    The showdown will be decided with
    this next question, number 11.
[01:12] ---
    But first, let's ask the
    contestants how they're feeling.
[01:15] ---
    We can skip that part!
[01:18] ---
    Please just get on with the question!
[01:20] ---
    It looks like both of you
    have reached your limit.
[01:23] ---
    Incidentally, if you miss this question,
    the angle will increase to 90 degrees!
[01:27] ---
    Then all the questions up
    to now don't mean anything!
[01:30] ---
    This is too much like a real quiz show!
[01:33] ---
    And so, our final question!
[01:36] ---
    What's the name of the man Levy-san likes?
[03:12] ---
    Come on, this is the final question.
[03:15] ---
    Who does Levy-san like?
[03:20] ---
    W-What kind of question is that?
[03:22] ---
    And by "like," I don't
    mean a lukewarm feeling,
[03:26] ---
    like as a friend or a comrade...
[03:30] ---
    Please give the name of the man
    she has romantic feelings about.
[03:35] ---
    She's gonna say it! She's gonna say it!
[03:39] ---
    Oh, come on!
[03:45] ---
    That's correct!
[03:47] ---
    Levy-san won! Congratulations!
[03:51] ---
    I-I don't believe she really said it!
[04:02] ---
    Solid Spirit! Thunder!
[04:10] ---
    I'm closing the gate.
[04:12] ---
    I lost. From now on, you're the quiz queen.
[04:20] ---
    No one was actually watching
    this show, right? Right?!
[04:29] ---
    Juvia vs. Aries! Desert Duel to the Death!
[04:42] ---
    What did I do to deserve this?
[04:45] ---
    How was it? Did you like that punishment?
[04:48] ---
    No! No more watermelons!
    Anything but watermelons!
[04:53] ---
    That cute face of yours is a hot mess!
[04:56] ---
    But I'm not done punishing you.
[05:04] ---
    What are those for?!
[05:06] ---
    I'm going to punish you with something
    even lovelier than watermelons!
[05:10] ---
    No!
[05:13] ---
    You're going to run?
[05:15] ---
    I told you! I don't wanna fight you!
[05:18] ---
    This isn't a fight. It's punishment.
[05:23] ---
    I don't want punishment, either!
[05:35] ---
    I can't keep this up forever!
[05:38] ---
    I have to get away and come up with a plan!
[05:44] ---
    What is this? Another hallway?
[05:50] ---
    There's no point in trying
    to escape. This is my world.
[05:54] ---
    No matter what you do, you're stuck with me.
[06:05] ---
    I told you it was pointless. Now be a
    good girl and accept your punishment.
[06:10] ---
    You've gotta be kidding me! I don't want
    to be subjected to that ever again!
[06:27] ---
    Mayo! Mayo...
[06:31] ---
    No good! There aren't any exits!
[06:34] ---
    Where are you hiding?
[06:36] ---
    Come out and take your lumps!
[06:39] ---
    I have no choice. I'll take that door...
[06:49] ---
    If you don't come out now,
    I'll cover you in tartar sauce, too!
[06:54] ---
    Jeez. What should I do?!
[07:07] ---
    Natsu, are you sure this is it?
[07:10] ---
    Positive. I can still smell Loke.
[07:13] ---
    I can't smell anything.
[07:16] ---
    I wish my nose were as sensitive
    as yours, Natsu-san.
[07:19] ---
    You don't need to learn that from him.
[07:22] ---
    Anyway, I wonder if this
    is really Leo's domain.
[07:26] ---
    It feels somehow different, don't you think?
[07:29] ---
    Maybe we crossed over to another place.
[07:32] ---
    There should only be
    12 Astral Spirytus doors.
[07:37] ---
    If this isn't Loke-san's place,
     then where...?
[07:42] ---
    Everyone...
[07:46] ---
    ...duck!
[07:49] ---
    W-What is this?!
[07:53] ---
    Thermometers?!
[07:55] ---
    Who's there?! Loke?!
[08:05] ---
    Who is it?!
[08:06] ---
    Why is there a nurse here?
[08:08] ---
    Who are you? Not one of the
    Zodiac Celestial Spirits, right?
[08:12] ---
    I am the Celestial Spirit Ophiuchus,
    the Serpent Bearer.
[08:16] ---
    The 13th spirit of the zodiac-denasu!
[08:23] ---
    Okay, I'll fill you in on Ophiuchus-denasu!
[08:28] ---
    The sun appears to move through space
    along a path called the ecliptic.
[08:33] ---
    Along that path are 12 constellations,
    the zodiac-denasu!
[08:38] ---
    But actually, between
    Scorpius and Sagittarius,
[08:42] ---
    is another constellation,
    known as the Serpent Bearer-denasu.
[08:46] ---
    That's me, Ophiuchus-denasu.
[08:49] ---
    Incidentally, the Serpent Bearer is the
    official constellation of doctors-denasu!
[08:54] ---
    Is that why you're dressed like that and
    say things at the end of every sentence?
[08:57] ---
    I see. So the 12 Celestial Spirits
    are based on constellations!
[09:02] ---
    You didn't know that?!
[09:04] ---
    Then you're on Loke's side, huh?
[09:07] ---
    That's right. A lot of unexpected
    things have happened,
[09:11] ---
    forcing me to put in
    an appearance-denasu.
[09:14] ---
    Therefore, I'm going to subject
    all of you to examinations-denasu.
[09:20] ---
    Examination?!
[09:22] ---
    Chart Cutter!
[09:25] ---
    Next up, Magic Stethoscopes!
[09:31] ---
    This is gross!
[09:33] ---
    What is this?! Where are they coming from?!
[09:35] ---
    I don't think these are really stethoscopes!
[09:39] ---
    I'm the caretaker of Astral Spirytus!
[09:42] ---
    I can control anything here-denasu!
[09:45] ---
    Hence these are my private
    Magic Stethoscopes-denasu!
[09:48] ---
    It's no use! I can't move!
[09:50] ---
    Have faith in brute force here...
[09:54] ---
    Oh, no, you don't-denasu!
[09:59] ---
    Wha...?!
[10:03] ---
    My ears!
[10:05] ---
    You're not supposed to do this
    with a stethoscope!
[10:08] ---
    This is a perfectly acceptable use
    for a Magic Stethoscope-denasu!
[10:16] ---
    The next part of the
    examination is this-denasu!
[10:19] ---
    I'm going to look deep
    into your throats-denasu.
[10:21] ---
    Say "Aaah"-denasu!
[10:25] ---
    That thing's not goin' in my mouth!
[10:27] ---
    If you don't open up,
    I'll shove it in-denasu!
[10:38] ---
    I think I'm going to throw up...
[10:40] ---
    It brought tears to my eyes!
[10:42] ---
    Please, no more...
[10:43] ---
    Dammit!
[10:46] ---
    Now do you understand how
    terrifying I am-denasu?
[10:49] ---
    This is what's next-denasu.
[10:58] ---
    Okay, now let me see your wounds-denasu!
[11:07] ---
    My fur!
[11:08] ---
    Do it more slowly!
[11:10] ---
    Ow-ow-ow!
[11:15] ---
    I'm not done! I've got an even
    more fearsome attack-denasu!
[11:22] ---
    This will fill your cavities-denasu!
[11:25] ---
    Stop it!
[11:29] ---
    Why a shovel?!
[11:33] ---
    Huh? You don't mind getting
    your fillings treated?
[11:38] ---
    I wanted to get a dentist
    to look at my teeth someday.
[11:42] ---
    My teeth are strong, so I've never
    needed to see a dentist before.
[11:45] ---
    I'm envious...
[11:47] ---
    It really is important to
    take good care of your teeth.
[11:50] ---
    Is this any time for
    public service messages?!
[11:54] ---
    I'm not surprised, Natsu Dragneel.
[11:56] ---
    But seeing a kid who's that healthy makes me
    want to torment you even more-denasu!
[12:01] ---
    It's a nurse's job to treat
    the sick and wounded!
[12:05] ---
    What? You're done treating my teeth already?
[12:08] ---
    I'm a nurse, but a nasty nurse!
[12:11] ---
    You see, I love harming happy,
    healthy people and making them sick!
[12:16] ---
    Ophiuchus Shower!
[12:18] ---
    Up yours!
[12:25] ---
    Liquid explosive?!
[12:26] ---
    There's no reason for
    that to be in a syringe!
[12:32] ---
    Now what?!
[12:33] ---
    And now... it's time to get serious-denasu!
[12:47] ---
    I'm sure I've walked ten
    kilometers since coming here...
[12:53] ---
    ...and even though a lot of time has passed,
     the sun remains directly overhead.
[13:00] ---
    Time really does flow differently here.
[13:08] ---
    Aries-san is in this world.
[13:11] ---
    And if I don't beat her, I'm pretty sure
    I won't be able to leave it.
[13:17] ---
    But for Juvia, mistress of water,
    the worst enemy is dehydration.
[13:24] ---
    At this rate, I'll run out of strength
    before battling Aries-san.
[13:29] ---
    Aries-san, where are you?
[13:32] ---
    Aries-san! Fight Juvia!
[13:38] ---
    Are you almost out of stamina,
     little lost lamb?
[13:46] ---
    Can you dig it?!
[13:59] ---
    I have to quickly defeat Aries-san
    and rejoin Gray-sama and the others.
[14:05] ---
    It's so hot. I want to take my clothes off...
[14:08] ---
    But then the sun would beat
    down directly on my skin...
[14:13] ---
    Water... Is there water somewhere?
[14:17] ---
    That's...
[14:21] ---
    ...an oasis?!
[14:28] ---
    Water! I can drink water!
[14:38] ---
    A mirage...
[14:41] ---
    No good... I can't move anymore...
[14:55] ---
    A magic four-wheeler...
[15:05] ---
    Looks like you're having
    an awful time, agua-girl!
[15:10] ---
    What's the matter? Throat so
    parched you can't even talk?
[15:14] ---
    You're no match for me, huh?
[15:18] ---
    You're Aries-san?
[15:20] ---
    That's right! I'm the Lamb, Aries!
[15:23] ---
    Back home in the Celestial Spirit World,
    I'm infamous as a hellraising street racer!
SIGN    Crushing Defeat I Love You
[15:33] ---
    Incidentally, I love having a suntan!
[15:35] ---
    And I'm wearing sunglasses, so even if it's
    bright, I don't care! Can you dig it?!
[15:39] ---
    It breaks my heart.
    You've become a delinquent.
[15:43] ---
    Don't call me a delinquent!
    I'm a street racer!
[15:47] ---
    You used to be such a kind Celestial Spirit,
[15:50] ---
    modest and with a big chest, but now...
[15:53] ---
    It's got nothing to do
    with the size of my chest!
[15:55] ---
    Apologize! Apologize to me, water witch!
[15:58] ---
    There's no need to apologize.
    After all, I'm just saying the truth.
[16:04] ---
    I've got it! You must be thirsty, right? Huh?
[16:11] ---
    Water!
[16:16] ---
    Gulp...
[16:18] ---
    That hit the spot!
[16:20] ---
    How's this? Surrender to me
    and I'll share it with you.
[16:25] ---
    You have to be kidding!
[16:26] ---
    I would sooner get dried out like a
    raisin here than betray Gray-sama!
[16:31] ---
    Is that right? Then you don't need this.
[16:40] ---
    All right, now that I've
    broken your spirit a bit,
[16:44] ---
    what do you say we get
     to a one-on-one duel?
[16:49] ---
    Eat this! Golden Horn Bomber!
[16:56] ---
    You can still move like that?
     You've got grit, girl!
[17:03] ---
    I have no strength. If I don't win
    this duel fast, I won't win it at all!
[17:09] ---
    Water Slicer!
[17:15] ---
    Not enough magic!
[17:16] ---
    Then your tricks don't work here, huh?
[17:20] ---
    Time to say night-night!
[17:26] ---
    What?
[17:27] ---
    One sheep, two sheep, three sheep,
    four sheep, five sheep, six sheep...
[17:31] ---
    I can't sleep like this!
[17:34] ---
    That was just a warm-up!
[17:42] ---
    How's this? A fun ride to drive home
    how weak you are!
[17:58] ---
    What, KO'd already? Show some
    fighting spirit for cryin' out loud!
[18:04] ---
    Well, then I guess I'll
    deliver the coup de grace!
[18:07] ---
    W-Water... water...
[18:11] ---
    Unfortunately, there isn't even
    a drop of water in this desert!
[18:16] ---
    In other words, forget about rehydrating!
[18:19] ---
    Water...
[18:21] ---
    Water...
[18:25] ---
    Th-There is water...
[18:28] ---
    Where?!
[18:30] ---
    At your feet...
[18:34] ---
    With the last of my power! Water Cannon!
[18:44] ---
    Coolant water from the radiator?!
[18:46] ---
    That's right. Your magic vehicle has
    plenty of water to keep the machine cool.
[18:52] ---
    The moisture is soaking into my body.
[18:56] ---
    Golden Horn Bomber!
[19:03] ---
    Your attacks have no effect on Juvia now!
[19:06] ---
    Water Jigsaw!
[19:15] ---
    Dammit!
[19:21] ---
    I close the gate!
[19:22] ---
    I didn't have enough grit. Can you dig it?
[19:29] ---
    I won. Now will I be able
    to get back to Gray-sama?
[19:35] ---
    Which way do I go to get out of here?
[19:56] ---
    Everything has a balance.
[19:58] ---
    If you can't keep yours, you'll find yourself
     plummeting towards a bottomless hell.
[20:02] ---
    If you beat me, you'll fall too, Libra.
[20:07] ---
    Nonsense. After you fall,
    I'll stand in the center
[20:12] ---
    and thereby stay balanced.
[20:14] ---
    Whoever becomes unstable first loses.
    That's the kind of battle this is.
[20:20] ---
    In other words, if I lose my nerve,
    I'll lose everything.
[20:25] ---
    Everything has a balance.
[20:32] ---
    How long does this passage go on?
[20:37] ---
    I don't know.
[20:38] ---
    Don't tell me it goes all the way to the
    Celestial Spirit World... Nah, no way...
[20:44] ---
    Where the devil is Leo?
    And what does he intend to do?
[20:50] ---
    What's the matter?
[20:52] ---
    I've been thinking.
[20:56] ---
    When Leo was in battle before,
    he didn't have the celestial globe.
[21:00] ---
    I was wondering why.
[21:02] ---
    The celestial globe! Now that
    you mention it, that's right.
[21:06] ---
    Maybe the globe is with Leo.
[21:10] ---
    And maybe he's up to something else, too.
[21:14] ---
    That is possible.
[21:22] ---
    There will be three matches. Whoever
    wins two first is the victor. Agreed?
[21:29] ---
    Sure.
[21:31] ---
    Seen in this light, the scenery's
    actually pretty atmospheric.
[21:35] ---
    I have to admit, my fighting
    spirit is building up.
[21:38] ---
    We're both soldiers.
[21:41] ---
    I figured that as long as we're going
    to be fighting, I should set the mood.
[21:47] ---
    I see. You're the type that
    starts from the style.
[21:51] ---
    I sense something about you
    that is similar to me.
[21:53] ---
    Let us have a supreme showdown
    in a superlative setting.
[21:58] ---
    I have no objections to that.
    I just wish we had an audience.
[22:03] ---
    I couldn't bear to let other people see
    you lose so ingloriously, Erza-dono.
[22:07] ---
    I have at least that much sympathy for you.
[22:09] ---
    Those are fighting words.
[22:12] ---
    Then let us have a fair...
[22:14] ---
    ...fight!
[23:56] ---
    I wonder which it is...
[23:57] ---
    What's wrong, Happy?
[23:58] ---
    Is this new Sagittarius a person? Or a horse?
[24:02] ---
    He's a person, of course!
    I've never heard of a talkin' horse!
[24:04] ---
    Natsu, this is the age where a fish can talk.
     So I can easily picture a horse talking.
[24:09] ---
    True.
[24:10] ---
    And I'm a cat, but I talk.
[24:13] ---
    Now I don't know which one he is, either!
[24:15] ---
    Next time: Erza vs. Sagittarius!
    Showdown on Horseback!
[24:20] ---
    So many mysteries...
[24:22] ---
    Although who really cares, y'know?