E5 - The Uncanny Land of Candy

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] Sign
    Fairy Princess
[00:06] Sign
    Minky Momo
[01:36] Narrator
    Long, long ago...
[01:38] Narrator
    In a "long, long ago" recent enough that
    it could very well seem like tomorrow...
[01:43] Narrator
    In a universe over there, in an Earth
    over there, in a city over there,
[01:47] Narrator
    there lived a girl.
[01:50] Narrator
    She looked like a completely normal
    girl of the kind you'd find anywhere.
[01:54] Narrator
    The one difference was...
[01:57] Narrator
    The girl could use magic to
    transform into a grown-up!
[02:01] Narrator
    They called her Minky Momo.
SIGN    The Uncanny Land of Candy
[02:06] Momo
    "The Uncanny Land of Candy."
[02:12] Lupi
    Hurry! Hurry, hurry!
[02:16] Momo
    Go!
SIGN    Don't drop your money!
[02:20] Momo
    It's okay! I've got it!
[02:23] Momo
    Turn right there!
[02:24] Lupi
    I know!
SIGN    Oh, no! Look at that line!
[02:35] Momo
    I can't believe it!
[02:37] Chamo
    Oh, my God!
SIGN    Dear, oh, dear.
[02:39] All
    Dear, oh, dear!
[02:40] Momo
    I guess we're all after the same thing.
[02:42] Chamo
    We'll be waiting forever.
[02:45] Momo
    No kidding.
[02:53] Chamo
    We had to wait for two hours!
[02:55] Lupi
    And then we could only buy one!
[02:58] Momo
    But that's okay.
[02:59] Momo
    This candy is popular all over the world.
[03:02] Momo
    If it were that easy to buy, we
    wouldn't appreciate it as much.
[03:05] Momo
    Now, let's have a taste...
[03:10] Momo
    So good!
[03:15] Momo
    Want a lick, guys?
SIGN    No, thanks.
SIGN    Okay. I'll help myself, then.
SIGN    Aw, it's shrunk so much already.
SIGN    I wish I had more...
SIGN    If they sell it in a store, they must make it somewhere.
SIGN    Why not go to the factory?
[03:43] Momo
    Factory?
SIGN    It must say it on the wrapper.
[03:49] Momo
    It doesn't say anything!
SIGN    But it should!
[03:52] Momo
    See?
SIGN    Let's see...
[03:54] Chamo
    She's right.
[03:56] Lupi
    Mystery candy, huh? Weird.
[03:59] Momo
    Yeah. I wonder where they make it.
[04:02] Mama
    The great detective had deduced the
    location and victim of the kidnapping.
[04:07] Mama
    Of course, this was not merely
    some sleeping child...
[04:13] Mama
    I wish my husband would come home already...
[04:18] Momo
    Evening, Mama!
[04:20] Mama
    Oh, evening, Momo.
[04:22] Mama
    Hey! Is that the world-famous Tapopos Candy?
[04:26] Momo
    Bingo!
[04:27] Mama
    I want a taste!
[04:29] Mama
    Please? Please? Please?
[04:34] Mama
    What a delicious flavor!
[04:42] Mama
    Now, brush your teeth and go to bed!
[04:46] Momo
    Fine!
[04:48] Mama
    Well, time to get back to it!
SIGN    Like mother, like daughter.
[04:55] Momo
    Well, let's sleep, everyone!
[04:57] Lupi
    That's right! Lack of sleep is
    the enemy of beautiful skin!
SIGN    I think Momo gets more than enough.
[05:04] Man
    Is that the house?
[05:04] Man
    Yeah, seems to be.
[05:06] Mama
    The great detective had deduced...
[05:10] Mama
    That the most likely culprit was himself.
[05:20] Mama
    Dear?
[05:29] Man
    Let's go.
[05:33] Mama
    Help!
[05:34] Mama
    Someone help! I'm being kidnapped!
[05:39] Mama
    Someone!
[05:43] Mama
    Help me!
[05:46] Momo
    Mama!
[05:55] Momo
    Mama!
[05:59] Momo
    That's awful!
SIGN    We have to tell your father!
[06:02] Lupi
    Her father's somewhere underground right now!
[06:05] Papa
    Wow, what an amazing underground labyrinth!
[06:08] Papa
    It just goes on and on!
[06:10] Team
    Doctor, I'm afraid we might
    reach the center of the Earth!
[06:15] Papa
    Well, let's just keep going for now.
[06:20] Momo
    Gourmet Poppo, move out!
[06:24] King
    Yikes! Momo's mother has been kidnapped!
[06:28] King
    La-dee-da-dee-da!
[06:30] Queen
    This is no time for la-dee-da-ing.
[06:32] Queen
    Momo could be in danger as well!
[06:35] King
    It's time to cheer up with Marinarsa's
    famous sea urchin candy.
[06:40] King
    Ready, little urchin?
[06:41] King
    Look at me...
[06:43] King
    Yow-chin!
[06:44] King
    It stung me!
[06:46] King
    It got me! I can't stand this!
[06:54] Chamo
    We've got a signal on dream radar!
SIGN    That seems to be the place.
[07:04] Chamo
    It's like a land of candy!
[07:06] Lupi
    Yeah!
SIGN    It's a rather small place.
SIGN    If we ask around, we should find out right away.
[07:10] Lupi
    Yeah! Plus they all live in houses!
[07:14] Lupi
    I bet they're all very nice people!
[07:19] Lupi
    Oh, my!
[07:37] Lupi
    Why?!
[07:46] Lupi
    Security here is too intense!
SIGN    We're going down!
[07:54] Men
    We did it!
[08:12] Men
    Emergency forces, stand down!
[08:14] Men
    Emergency forces, stand down!
[08:16] Momo
    Oh, dear...
SIGN    That was completely too much.
[08:25] Mama
    Wait, am I on trial?
[08:32] Men
    Gelder is wise! Gelder is great!
[08:35] Men
    Gelder is wise! Gelder is great!
[08:38] Men
    Gelder is awesome! Gelder is handsome!
[08:42] Men
    Gelder is awesome! Gelder is handsome!
[08:44] Men
    Gelder! Gelder! Gelder!
[08:47] Men
    Gelder! Gelder! Gelder!
[08:50] Men
    Gelder! Gelder! Gelder!
[08:50] Momo
    What in the world?
SIGN    I have no idea.
[08:55] Gelder
    Thank you!
[08:56] Gelder
    Thank you, everyone.
[08:58] Gelder
    We will now begin the trial.
[09:01] Gelder
    Serving as judge will be me—
[09:02] Gelder
    president, prime minister, and
    commander-in-chief of the army,
[09:05] Gelder
    navy, and air forces of the
    nation of Spopota, Gelder!
[09:09] People
    Gelder is wise! Gelder is great!
[09:11] People
    Gelder is awesome! Gelder forever!
[09:14] Gelder
    Enough.
[09:16] Gelder
    As today's incident is extremely serious,
    I ask all spectators to depart!
[09:26] Momo
    What's all this? What's going on?
[09:31] Momo
    Mama!
SIGN    Hush!
SIGN    We should probably just hide and watch for now.
[09:35] Momo
    Right. Got it.
[09:38] Gelder
    Silence in the court!
[09:40] Gelder
    This was an mysterious document sent to
    me from the defendant via fax yesterday.
[09:46] Gelder
    It's all nonsense about great
    detectives and culprits!
[09:51] Mama
    Oh? Oh, that's right.
[09:53] Mama
    I think I got a wrong number when
    I was faxing it to a friend.
[09:59] Gelder
    Silence!
[10:01] Gelder
    A careful computer analysis has revealed
    that the document contains a coded message
[10:05] Gelder
    regarding our country's most
    closely guarded secret!
[10:10] Gelder
    Thus, the defendant is guilty!
[10:12] Gelder
    I hereby sentence you to remain here forever!
[10:18] Lupi
    Hush! Keep your voice down!
[10:19] Mama
    Um, if I'm staying in this
    country forever, do I pay rent?
[10:24] Gelder
    Obviously not.
[10:25] Mama
    Do I get meals and nap time?
[10:27] Gelder
    Of course.
[10:28] Mama
    That doesn't seem like a bad deal.
[10:31] Mama
    Say, can I bring my husband and daughter
    and her three pets to join us?
[10:38] Gelder
    I'll think about it.
[10:41] Mama
    How generous!
[10:43] Momo
    Wait!
[10:44] Lupi
    Momo!
[10:46] Momo
    Please, Mama has her own home!
[10:49] Momo
    Let Mama go!
[10:51] Gelder
    I passed my sentence already! Do not intrude!
[10:54] Gelder
    Arrest her!
[10:58] Gelder
    What?!
[11:00] Kid
    Mr. Gelder! We want to make a request!
[11:02] Kid
    Please, give back our candy!
[11:05] Kid
    Please!
[11:06] Kid
    Please!
[11:07] Momo
    Candy?
SIGN    What in the world?
[11:11] Gelder
    I don't wanna hear about it!
[11:12] Gelder
    Arrest them!
[11:15] Gelder
    Run!
[11:18] Gelder
    Take the defendant away!
[11:20] Mama
    The defendant, he said!
[11:21] Mama
    This is so exciting! I'm like
    the main character in a TV show!
[11:26] Momo
    Mama!
[11:28] Sign
    Fairy Princess
[11:28] Sign
    Minky Momo
[11:31] Sign
    Fairy Princess
[11:31] Sign
    Minky Momo
[11:39] Kid
    Sorry about before.
[11:41] Momo
    You don't have anything to apologize for.
[11:42] Momo
    Anyway, look at this!
[11:46] Kid
    It's the Tapopos Candy!
[11:47] Kid
    Yeah!
[11:48] Kid
    No way!
[11:49] Chamo
    Where'd that come from?
[11:51] Momo
    I found it in front of the
    house when Mama was kidnapped.
[11:54] Momo
    Lucky break, huh?
[11:57] Kid
    A-Are you gonna let us have that?
[11:59] Momo
    What? Well...
[12:04] Momo
    Okay, fine.
[12:05] Momo
    Take it.
[12:08] Momo
    That's weird. Do they not sell that here?
[12:11] Pipi
    You think they arrested all the candy, too?
[12:15] Momo
    No way!
SIGN    Actually, it does seem like something that president might do.
[12:20] Momo
    Okay, let's have a jailbreak!
[12:23] Kids
    Jailbreak?!
[12:24] Kids
    No way! Security on the
    prison is really strict!
[12:28] Kids
    That's okey-dokie!
[12:29] Kids
    Just show me the way, and I'll work it out!
[12:39] Pipi
    Is this really the prison?
[12:41] Chamo
    It looks more like a hotel.
[12:42] Kid
    Well, I'll be going now.
[12:44] Momo
    Thanks. Take care.
[12:47] Kid
    See you!
[12:47] Momo
    Bye!
[12:49] Momo
    Hey, Cookbook.
[12:50] Momo
    What's a job that lets
    you sneak into prisons?
SIGN    A safe cracker? Not quite...
SIGN    I know! Why not try becoming a ninja?
[12:59] Momo
    Ninja?
[13:00] Momo
    Sounds like fun! Let's try it!
[13:05] Momo
    Parariru Parariru Doririnpa!
[13:08] Momo
    Tiaran Tianan Maririnpa!
[13:11] Momo
    Become a Japanese ninja with a Minky touch!
[13:40] Momo
    I shall now proceed in my duty!
[13:43] Chamo
    Venture forth!
[13:44] Pipi
    Hiyo! Hiyo!
SIGN    I feel like I'm in a period drama!
[13:55] Soldier
    Hey.
[13:55] Soldier
    Sir.
[13:56] Soldier
    Where's the president?
[13:58] Soldier
    He's still showing the prisoner around.
[14:01] Soldier
    Where is he?
[14:02] Soldier
    In the second building.
[14:04] Soldier
    He's very devoted to his work.
[14:12] Momo
    Stop! Keep it down!
[14:15] Gelder
    Well? Isn't it another wonderful room?
[14:18] Gelder
    If you don't like the color of the
    walls, we can have them repainted!
[14:20] Gelder
    Red, pink, anything you want!
[14:23] Gelder
    Now, please stay here forever!
[14:25] Gelder
    Please? Please? Please?
[14:27] Mama
    Er...
[14:29] Momo
    Mama!
[14:30] Momo
    Okay...
[14:37] Soldier
    Hey, it's one of those ninja throwing stars!
[14:40] Momo
    Drat!
[14:41] Gelder
    There's a ninja here! Go capture them, men!
[14:44] Gelder
    Who's there? Show yourself, intruder!
[14:51] Momo
    Now!
[14:57] Soldier
    F-Fire!
[15:02] Gelder
    Hey, what're you doing here?
[15:05] Momo
    Oh, whoops!
[15:06] Momo
    I got the wrong person!
SIGN    Gelder!
[15:12] Soldiers
    Mr. President!
[15:13] Gelder
    What are you doing? Go capture her already!
[15:17] Soldiers
    Right!
[15:18] Momo
    Retreat for now!
[15:20] Gelder
    Oh, no! They're heading for...
[15:25] Momo
    What beautiful flowers!
SIGN    This is no time to admire flowers!
[15:29] Momo
    Sorry, sorry.
SIGN    Honestly...
[15:34] Momo
    Look out!
SIGN    Eh? This is delicious!
[15:47] Chamo
    It really is!
[15:48] Momo
    Let me see!
[15:49] Momo
    It's delicious!
[15:50] Momo
    Hey, this tastes like Tapopos Candy!
[15:53] Gelder
    That's right!
[15:55] Gelder
    It seems you've discovered
    our national secret.
[15:58] Gelder
    Indeed, Tapopos Candy is created from
    the nectar of these Tapopos Flowers,
[16:04] Gelder
    collected in turn by the Tapopos Bees.
[16:08] Momo
    Why are you keeping it such
    a closely guarded secret?
[16:11] Gelder
    Now that you've seen it,
    I might as well tell you.
[16:14] Gelder
    Our nation once lived in peace.
[16:16] Gelder
    Nobody ever left, and the children of
    the nation slurped away at their candy,
[16:19] Gelder
    living lives without care.
[16:22] Gelder
    But one day, I ended up tasting
    the candy of other countries.
[16:26] Gelder
    That's when I realized that no country
    had a candy as delicious as ours!
[16:31] Gelder
    It was clear that people from other
    countries would come after our candy!
[16:35] Gelder
    Ever since, I've sworn to protect
    our nation's candy with my life!
[16:40] Gelder
    I now sell candy to other countries,
    and use the money to buy weapons!
[16:46] Momo
    Oh? That seems weird.
[16:48] Momo
    In order to protect the candy,
    you sell candy to everyone,
[16:51] Momo
    so that you run out of candy here, and
    the local children can't have candy?
[16:56] Gelder
    Candy must be sacrificed
    for the sake of candy...
[16:58] Gelder
    That is, even if we lose the candy...
[17:02] Gelder
    Oh, shut up!
[17:03] Gelder
    Now that you've learned our secret,
    you cannot leave here alive!
[17:17] Momo
    No, no, no!
[17:25] Gelder
    Don't be dissuaded! Catch them!
[17:53] Momo
    Where are we?
SIGN    I get it!
SIGN    We're in a studio in a TV station!
[18:04] Momo
    Oh, right! I got a great idea!
[18:07] Momo
    The reason they arrested Mama,
    and why they're chasing us, is that they
[18:10] Momo
    don't want the secret of
    their candy getting out, right?
[18:13] Pipi
    Right! So if we tell everyone now,
    it won't be a secret anymore!
[18:18] Momo
    That's right!
[18:19] Momo
    All right...
[18:20] Momo
    Skip the chant and become
    an awesome newscaster lady!
[18:31] Momo
    Momo supposes her toeses are roses!
[18:33] Momo
    I think I'm ready.
[18:41] Momo
    Good evening, viewers at home.
[18:44] Momo
    Today we have a story about the
    world-famous Tapopos Candy.
[18:51] Momo
    Its origins have been wreathed in mystery,
[18:54] Momo
    but it turns out it's being made in Spopota,
[18:57] Momo
    the dangerous country led by the
    infamously unstable President Gelder.
[19:01] Momo
    Spopota is known as a dangerous country
    that other countries shouldn't approach,
[19:05] Momo
    but it's actually a peaceful country
    as sweet and agreeable as candy!
[19:09] Momo
    Why does such a sweet, kind, peaceful
    country have to masquerade as a dangerous one?
[19:15] Momo
    They project that image to protect
    their precious Tapopos Flower fields!
[19:26] Momo
    I had a feeling they'd show up.
[19:27] Gelder
    You fool! What have you done?
[19:30] Gelder
    Now that you've told them,
[19:32] Gelder
    other countries will surely come
    to steal the secret of our candy!
[19:35] Gelder
    What am I going to do?!
[19:39] Momo
    Oh, dear...
[19:41] Pipi
    He really has an active imagination, doesn't he?
[19:43] Momo
    Well, I guess things are resolved for now.
[19:46] Momo
    Can you please stop crying
    and just give back my mother?
[19:51] Gelder
    Eh?
[19:52] VO
    Massive numbers of flying objects
    are approaching our airspace!
[19:55] VO
    I repeat!
[19:56] VO
    Massive numbers of flying objects
    are approaching our airspace!
[20:00] VO
    Numbers counted... Ten. No, Twenty! Thirty!
[20:04] VO
    Forty?
[20:05] VO
    A-A-A hundred!
[20:10] VO
    Attention, all citizens!
[20:11] VO
    Take emergency battle stations at once!
[20:14] VO
    Take emergency battle stations at once!
[20:23] Mama
    Things sure are noisy out there.
[20:26] Papa
    Seems noisy here...
[20:40] Mama
    Oh? That man looked just like my husband!
[20:44] Mama
    Never mind! I need to get moving!
[20:49] Mama
    Let me out!
[20:51] Mama
    Stop already!
[20:52] Mama
    Just let me out!
[20:54] Gelder
    Hey, let me go! I'll protect the secret
    of the candy if I have to do it myself!
SIGN    The secret's already out, darn it!
[21:06] Man
    They're here!
[21:17] Man
    Hey, Prez!
[21:21] Man
    Thank you for all the delicious candy!
[21:24] Man
    We hope you'll keep sending
    it, Mr. President!
[21:26] Gelder
    What's going on here?
[21:28] Man
    Hooray! Hooray!
[21:31] Gelder
    Well, I... I didn't really...
[21:35] Chamo
    Hey, another plane!
[21:45] Kids
    It's candy! Yeah!
[21:51] Mama
    I made it out...
[21:53] Momo
    Mama!
[21:56] Momo
    Mama!
[21:58] Mama
    Momo!
[22:00] Momo
    Mama!
[22:03] Papa
    I feel like I just heard my wife and Momo...
[22:06] Papa
    I suppose Earth still holds many secrets...
[22:10] Papa
    I've got to go home.
[22:13] King
    That's great, la-dee-da!
[22:15] King
    The sea bream and flounder
    dance in celebration!
[22:17] Queen
    It does seem to have sorted itself out.
[22:20] King
    I also managed to lick my
    sea urchin candy smooth.
[22:24] King
    That's just how life is sometimes!
[22:27] King
    Eat too much candy and
    your teeth will fall out!
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[24:10] Momo
    Awful news!
[24:11] Momo
    The crucial main character has disappeared!
[24:13] Momo
    No, not me.
[24:14] Momo
    The main character of the
    video game everyone's playing!
[24:17] Momo
    Next time on Fairy Princess Minky Momo:
[24:19] Momo
    "The Hero Disappeared?!"
[24:21] Momo
    How do you play a game
    without a main character?
[24:23] Momo
    It's okie-dokey! Momo's here!
[24:25] Momo
    Make sure you finish any games you're
    playing before this time next week!
[24:28] Momo
    Play games with Momo here on this channel!
[24:30] Momo
    Don't miss it!
SIGN    The Hero Disappeared?!
[24:31] Momo
    Wait, is this a preview or a commercial?