67 - THE SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICT VERSUS THE JOMON MAN

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    GeGeGe no Kitaro
[00:15] ---
    I swear I'll get in!
[00:19] ---
    Why do humans go through this hassle?
[00:23] ---
    Kamoi!
[00:24] ---
    Go up in flames!
[00:30] ---
    The world you see isn't all there is.
[00:34] ---
    There are things you can't see.
[00:37] ---
    See? In the darkness behind you...
[00:56] ---
    Ge, ge, gegege no ge
[00:56] ---
    ge ge gegege no ge
[01:00] ---
    Slumbering in bed in the morning
[01:00] ---
    asa wa nedoko de gu gu gu
[01:05] ---
    It's so fun, it's so fun
[01:05] ---
    tanoshiina tanoshiina
[01:09] ---
    Ghosts don't have school
[01:09] ---
    obakenya gakkou mo
[01:12] ---
    Or tests or anything
[01:12] ---
    shiken mo nannimo nai
[01:17] ---
    Ge, ge, gegege no ge
[01:17] ---
    ge ge gegege no ge
[01:21] ---
    Let's all sing together, gegege no ge
[01:21] ---
    minna de utaou gegege no ge
[01:25] ---
    Ge, ge, gegege no ge
[01:25] ---
    ge ge gegege no ge
[01:29] ---
    Sports festivals in the graveyard at night
[01:29] ---
    yoru wa hakaba de undoukai
[01:33] ---
    It's so fun, it's so fun
[01:33] ---
    tanoshiina tanoshiina
[01:38] ---
    Ghosts don't die
[01:38] ---
    obake wa shinanai
[01:42] ---
    Or get sick or anything
[01:42] ---
    byouki mo nannimo nai
[01:46] ---
    Ge, ge, gegege no ge
[01:46] ---
    ge ge gegege no ge
[01:50] ---
    Let's all sing together, gegege no ge
[01:50] ---
    minnade utaou gegege no ge
[01:54] ---
    Let's all sing together, gegege no ge
[01:54] ---
    minnade utaou gegege no ge
[01:58] ---
    Let's all sing together, gegege no ge
[01:58] ---
    minnade utaou gegege no ge
[02:19] ---
    This is delicious!
[02:32] ---
    CHAPTER 67
[02:34] ---
    THE SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICT VERSUS
    THE JOMON MAN
[02:42] ---
    Dad, it's a lovely morning, isn't it?
[02:45] ---
    It's nice and sunny.
[02:50] ---
    What is it, Catchick?
[02:52] ---
    I got a RAIN message from Mana.
[02:55] ---
    Cat-san! Did you see Chris' post?!
[02:59] ---
    Chris?
[03:00] ---
    She's an AmMo who's half Japanese.
[03:02] ---
    "AmMo"?
[03:04] ---
    It's short for "Amateur Model."
[03:06] ---
    High school girls and business women
    who model for magazines.
[03:10] ---
    This is Chris.
[03:12] ---
    #GREAT POOL!
[03:12] ---
    Christine Minato. A half-Japanese college
    girl who studied abroad in America.
[03:17] ---
    She's an influencer with over a million
    followers on FACEBACK and INSTE.
[03:22] ---
    She's rather pretty.
[03:25] ---
    She's really popular
    among the girls at Mana's school.
[03:29] ---
    Why is she so popular?
[03:32] ---
    She goes to expensive restaurants
    and parties in high-rise apartments,
[03:36] ---
    #AWESOME PARTY!
[03:37] ---
    and uploads nice photos,
    so the girls idolize her.
[03:41] ---
    Really?
[03:44] ---
    But I don't really like her.
[03:46] ---
    It feels like she's doing it all
    just to get Likes.
[03:48] ---
    17,000 LIKES
[03:54] ---
    With all the Likes and follower comments
    and high share rates,
[03:59] ---
    it just feels like she's
    showing off saying, "Look at me!"
[04:04] ---
    Hey, are you even listening?
[04:07] ---
    Huh?
[04:11] ---
    My profit antenna just went "BiBiBi!"
[04:17] ---
    I upload an unidentified creature
    to social media.
[04:21] ---
    Then get lots of Likes and make a killing
    with the ad revenue.
[04:26] ---
    UNIDENTIFIED CREATURE SIGHTINGS
    MYSTERIOUS MONKEY MAN IN MT. HIBIRIDAKE!!
[04:27] ---
    A genius plan if I do say so myself!
[04:33] ---
    Could it be...?
[04:36] ---
    Th-This is...!
[04:40] ---
    Roasted sweet potatoes?
[04:47] ---
    This is delicious!
[04:57] ---
    He really exists!
[05:03] ---
    Hipili kapoli.
[05:05] ---
    Huh? What?
[05:10] ---
    Hakalapili.
[05:11] ---
    Potoko topoto.
[05:13] ---
    Huh? You mean eat this?
[05:18] ---
    This is delicious!
[05:19] ---
    I know! I'll use him!
[05:22] ---
    Say, "cheese!"
[05:25] ---
    Saychee?
[05:30] ---
    Let's see how many hundreds of Likes
    I'll get on INSTE today.
[05:36] ---
    What is this?
[05:38] ---
    Number five in followers is...
[05:41] ---
    Jomon Man?
[05:45] ---
    A real Jomon era man?
[05:48] ---
    With 20,000 Likes on INSTE?!
[05:54] ---
    He's just a flash fad.
[05:56] ---
    A new, no, primitive man like this
    will disappear in no time.
[06:02] ---
    Selfie time, selfie time.
[06:07] ---
    ELECTRIFYING EXPLOSION OF LOVE
[06:08] ---
    The Batteries' new single is on sale now!
    It's electrifying!
[06:12] ---
    Let's see...
[06:13] ---
    So to gain Likes, I should just imitate
    stuff from someone with lots of Likes.
[06:19] ---
    I see. "Look at how cute I am!
    Look at me more!"
[06:19] ---
    #LUNCH WITH FRIENDS
[06:24] ---
    I just post stuff like this.
[06:27] ---
    Affordable! Giga Deluxe Steak!
    Only 19,800 yen for a limited time!
[06:31] ---
    Talk about affordable!
[06:33] ---
    Like hell!
    Who can eat something so expensive?!
[06:36] ---
    Giga Deluxe Steak!
[06:40] ---
    Listen, Jomon era man.
[06:42] ---
    To want yet endure is the way of
    modern civilization.
[06:46] ---
    Get it?
[06:48] ---
    Kamoi!
[06:49] ---
    "Kamoi"? What's that?
[06:51] ---
    Kamoi!
[06:54] ---
    Oh well.
[06:56] ---
    And... Post!
[07:00] ---
    Ooh, 20,000 Likes already! Impressive!
[07:03] ---
    Oh! Is that Jomon Man?
[07:06] ---
    What's that?
[07:07] ---
    Dude, I know him! He's number five
    in followers on INSTE, right?
[07:11] ---
    Wow! A celebrity!
[07:14] ---
    Hey, no photos without permission.
[07:19] ---
    Kamoi!
[07:20] ---
    Dude, what's "Kamoi"?
[07:22] ---
    Who knows?
    Maybe it means "Like" in Jomon language.
[07:25] ---
    Hilarious, Dude.
[07:27] ---
    Kamoi! Kamoi!
[07:28] ---
    Kamoi!
[07:29] ---
    Kamoi!!
[07:30] ---
    Oh well. Make sure to spread that around.
[07:37] ---
    Kamoi!
[07:39] ---
    Kamoi!!
[07:41] ---
    FANCY RESTAURANT
[07:45] ---
    An organic lunch!
[07:48] ---
    I see you got more Likes, Chris.
[07:51] ---
    25,000 Likes.
[07:53] ---
    They're saying,
    "Looks delicious! Super healthy!"
[07:56] ---
    Obviously!
[07:57] ---
    A modern human couldn't lose to
    a Jomon era man.
[08:04] ---
    An organic lunch!
[08:06] ---
    30,000 Likes?!
[08:08] ---
    Whoops. You lost.
[08:09] ---
    They're saying,
    "Looks delicious! Super healthy!"
[08:12] ---
    What's super healthy?!
    He's just eating grass off the road!
[08:26] ---
    Mr. Bear!
[08:28] ---
    You got 30,000 Likes!
[08:30] ---
    They're saying, "Cute!"
[08:31] ---
    Take that!
[08:32] ---
    A primitive man could never...
[08:37] ---
    Mr. Bear!
[08:40] ---
    35,000 Likes.
[08:42] ---
    He beat you again.
[08:44] ---
    They're saying, "Cute!"
[08:46] ---
    What's cute?! What is this guy?!
[08:49] ---
    Maybe he's a yokai.
[08:51] ---
    Huh?
[08:52] ---
    A yokai? Then what should I do?
[08:55] ---
    Maybe ask GeGeGe no Kitaro?
[08:57] ---
    GeGeGe no... what?
[09:02] ---
    So...
[09:03] ---
    what does the letter say?
[09:06] ---
    "A yokai called Jomon Man
    is causing a disturbance."
[09:13] ---
    Jomon Man?
[09:15] ---
    You mean this?
[09:17] ---
    Dad...
[09:20] ---
    This isn't a yokai.
    He's a real Jomon era man.
[09:25] ---
    I thought he was living quietly on
    Mt. Hibiridake in the Aoishi Mountains.
[09:30] ---
    Why is he in the city?
[09:35] ---
    How come?!
[09:37] ---
    Thank you for sending the letter,
[09:40] ---
    but Jomon Man isn't causing any harm,
    so we can't help you.
[09:46] ---
    You won't defeat him?! But a yokai is
    on the loose in human society!
[09:51] ---
    He's not even a yokai.
[09:53] ---
    But a primitive man on social media?!
[09:56] ---
    Why are you so obsessed?
[10:00] ---
    Why don't you just ignore him?
[10:03] ---
    Sh-Shut up! That's none of your business!
[10:07] ---
    I went to the trouble of sending a letter!
    You're useless!
[10:11] ---
    What's her problem?
[10:13] ---
    I really don't like her.
[10:18] ---
    I'm tenth in number of followers...
[10:22] ---
    and he's third?!
[10:24] ---
    That's impossible!
[10:25] ---
    Well in that case...!
[10:29] ---
    A gift from a fan!
[10:31] ---
    50,000 Likes!
[10:33] ---
    Amazing!
[10:36] ---
    A gift from a fan!
[10:38] ---
    70,000 Likes!
[10:40] ---
    More amazing!
[10:42] ---
    Jomon Man beat you again.
[10:45] ---
    But I used all of my savings!
[10:47] ---
    Isn't that a bit much?
[10:49] ---
    Dammit! In that case...!
[10:51] ---
    Just give up already.
[10:53] ---
    Shut up!
[10:54] ---
    Talk about desperate.
[10:56] ---
    Too funny.
[10:58] ---
    NO STANDING ON THE BOXES
[11:00] ---
    Radiant!
[11:01] ---
    Radiant!!
[11:02] ---
    Radiant!!!
[11:02] ---
    #STANDING ON THE BOX
[11:04] ---
    Like!
[11:04] ---
    72,000 LIKES
[11:05] ---
    NO PLAYING WITH WATER
[11:07] ---
    Radiant! Radiant!
[11:09] ---
    Radiant!
[11:11] ---
    Like!
[11:11] ---
    75,000 LIKES
[11:13] ---
    Like!
[11:14] ---
    Take that, primitive man! I win!
[11:18] ---
    Like!
[11:20] ---
    The rise in people breaking social
    etiquette to upload to social media,
[11:24] ---
    has become a major societal issue.
[11:25] ---
    TODAY'S TOPIC: EXTREME SOCIAL MEDIA
[11:27] ---
    Apparently this was started by a post from
    a popular amateur model
[11:28] ---
    AMUSEMENT PARK BOXES REMOVED
    SPRAYED WATER CAUSES ACCIDENT
[11:31] ---
    and is gaining criticism.
[11:33] ---
    Is that amateur model...?
[11:35] ---
    Apparently it's Chris.
[11:37] ---
    Good grief.
[11:39] ---
    Why do humans go through this hassle?
[11:45] ---
    I'd rather be flamed than ignored!
[11:49] ---
    Oh, Mana.
[11:51] ---
    What is it?
[11:52] ---
    Cat-san.
[11:53] ---
    I just saw Jomon Man-san in town.
[11:58] ---
    He was with Rat Man-san, so I was worried.
[12:03] ---
    I see. Thanks. Good job telling us.
[12:11] ---
    Thanks to Jomon Man's popularity,
    I'm rolling in ad revenue!
[12:15] ---
    That stupid Chris girl self-destructed,
    so who do I copy next?
[12:21] ---
    Hey, Rat Man.
[12:24] ---
    Yo, Kita-chan! Still poor as ever?
[12:27] ---
    Making a dirty profit again I see.
[12:30] ---
    Send Jomon Man back to his mountain.
[12:33] ---
    No way.
[12:35] ---
    We're not causing trouble for anyone.
[12:38] ---
    I mean, the humans are enjoying it,
    aren't they?
[12:41] ---
    Like!
[12:41] ---
    70,000 LIKES
[12:43] ---
    See?
[12:44] ---
    But how does he feel about it?
[12:48] ---
    Let's go back to your home.
[12:52] ---
    Hilipo lipoli.
[12:55] ---
    See? He says he doesn't want to.
[12:57] ---
    Are you sure?
[12:59] ---
    Pilili palili.
[13:02] ---
    And there you have it, folks.
[13:04] ---
    Later!
[13:05] ---
    Later!
[13:09] ---
    Dad...
[13:10] ---
    Let's wait this one out for now.
[13:14] ---
    Chris hasn't been posting on INSTE
    since she screwed up.
[13:20] ---
    You ever notice how she only makes herself
    look pretty in her pics?
[13:25] ---
    Talk about petty.
[13:28] ---
    And she calls herself "Christine",
    but her real name's Kumiko.
[13:33] ---
    Plus she's all Japanese.
[13:35] ---
    Wow that's sad.
[13:38] ---
    #GIGA DELUXE CAKE
[13:38] ---
    "Want to go eat?"
[13:39] ---
    Ugh, a RAIN message from Chris.
[13:42] ---
    She's so irritating.
[13:44] ---
    "Want to go to a cafe?"
[13:44] ---
    Dammit! How dare they!
[13:46] ---
    They ignored my messages!
[13:49] ---
    Stop breaking social etiquette!
[13:50] ---
    Do you really want Likes so much?
[13:52] ---
    Your car and boobs are all fake.
[13:54] ---
    All those fakes and you still lose
    to Jomon Man. Haha.
[13:58] ---
    I lost all my friends!
[14:00] ---
    And my money!
[14:02] ---
    And...
[14:03] ---
    my precious Likes!
[14:06] ---
    #51 CHRISTINE MINATO
[14:07] ---
    #1 JOMON MAN
[14:09] ---
    It's all his fault!
[14:12] ---
    I won't be satisfied...
[14:15] ---
    until I make him pay!
[14:20] ---
    RAT MAN
[14:23] ---
    EVEN RAT MAN READS
[14:25] ---
    -"Scratch, scratch."
    -"Ge."
[14:26] ---
    "Shake, shake."
[14:30] ---
    Kitaro.
[14:31] ---
    They're holding a party
    for the top 20 INSTE users.
[14:36] ---
    Apparently Jomon Man's been invited too.
[14:39] ---
    Jomon Man?
[14:41] ---
    Apparently Chris hasn't been invited.
[14:45] ---
    Let's hope nothing happens.
[14:50] ---
    Why not?!
[14:51] ---
    TOP INSTE USERS' PARTY ENTRANCE
[14:52] ---
    This party is only for the top 20 INSTE
    users with the most followers!
[14:59] ---
    What?!
[15:00] ---
    I'm number 10!
[15:02] ---
    That's a thing of the past now.
[15:04] ---
    Hello! Good work everyone!
[15:06] ---
    Good work everyone!
[15:08] ---
    -Him!
    -Ow!
[15:15] ---
    All it takes is a few more hollow Likes,
[15:19] ---
    and I get to feast at
    a gorgeous party like this!
[15:24] ---
    Talk about "Like" indeed!
[15:30] ---
    -Kamoi!
    -Kamoi!!
[15:33] ---
    I wonder what that "kamoi" stuff
    means anyhow.
[15:38] ---
    I swear I'll get in!
[15:49] ---
    There!
[15:51] ---
    Kamoi!
[15:52] ---
    Kamoi!!
[15:56] ---
    How dare he!
[15:59] ---
    How can it be you and not me...
[16:03] ---
    who has more Likes!
[16:08] ---
    Ever since I was a child,
    people have always called me cute.
[16:14] ---
    At home... At school... Around town...
[16:19] ---
    That's why it has to
    be that way on social media, too!
[16:25] ---
    When I'm complimented and wanted...
[16:28] ---
    That's when I feel alive!
[16:32] ---
    If I'm not being complimented, I'm not me!
[16:40] ---
    Likes are my purpose! My life!
    My everything!
[16:45] ---
    I can't stand a modern-age pro like myself
    losing to a flash-fad Jomon era man!
[16:52] ---
    It simply can't be!
[16:54] ---
    Now, enjoy your indecent exposure!
[16:57] ---
    Go up in flames!
[17:04] ---
    Hey!
[17:06] ---
    Hipoli.
[17:15] ---
    Oh, the self-destructing girl.
[17:16] ---
    She showed up.
[17:18] ---
    Dammit!
[17:21] ---
    -"Stop breaking social etiquette."
    -"Your car and boobs are all fake."
[17:22] ---
    Shut up! Shut up!
[17:25] ---
    Kamoi!
[17:27] ---
    What are you laughing at?!
[17:30] ---
    Kamoi!
[17:38] ---
    Ka...
[17:39] ---
    moi...!
[17:44] ---
    Call the police!
[17:47] ---
    I did it! Now the Likes are all mine!
[17:52] ---
    Aw man. So much for that.
[18:07] ---
    What?!
[18:09] ---
    Rollo Cloth?!
[18:11] ---
    I'll get you for sure this time!
[18:14] ---
    You?!
[18:15] ---
    Kitaro!
[18:17] ---
    Why go this far?
[18:19] ---
    Isn't it obvious?! For the Likes!
[18:22] ---
    Is it worth murdering someone?
[18:25] ---
    Yes! Of course!
[18:27] ---
    It's everything to me!
[18:30] ---
    All of you get out of my way!
[18:32] ---
    Oh well.
[18:34] ---
    Spirit Hair Chanchako!
[18:36] ---
    Famous Brand 150,000-Yen Stole!
[18:39] ---
    What?!
[18:41] ---
    Expensive 100,000-Yen Hair Accessory!
[18:46] ---
    200,000-Yen Custom-Made High Heels!
[18:51] ---
    What was all that?
[18:53] ---
    They're the top brand items
    I bought for Likes!
[18:57] ---
    I've been working so hard!
[18:59] ---
    How can this non-striving, grass-eating
    Jomon era man get more Likes?!
[19:05] ---
    What terrifying spite!
[19:07] ---
    I'll do anything to be fawned over!
[19:11] ---
    Pathetic.
[19:13] ---
    It's meaningless.
[19:14] ---
    Save your fairy tale talk!
[19:16] ---
    For humans, it's all about
    looks and status!
[19:22] ---
    Human beings
[19:24] ---
    only listen to cute girls or rich people
    or anyone who can benefit them!
[19:31] ---
    It's not about what is said.
[19:34] ---
    It's about who says it!
[19:37] ---
    -"That's right."
    -"Kill."
[19:37] ---
    That's why I need more Likes than anyone!
[19:41] ---
    To be a person of influence!
[19:41] ---
    -"Do it."
    -"Kill."
[19:49] ---
    Kamoi!
[19:54] ---
    We have to stop her!
[19:56] ---
    No need.
[19:59] ---
    -Don't move!
    -It's the police!
[20:00] ---
    Stop struggling!
[20:02] ---
    Dammit! Don't touch me!
[20:06] ---
    Drop the cellphone!
[20:08] ---
    #BUSTED
[20:11] ---
    Oh. Chris got arrested.
[20:18] ---
    They got her.
[20:20] ---
    That gets my Like!
[20:23] ---
    Take that!
[20:24] ---
    I can't believe she went so far!
[20:27] ---
    She's a nutcase!
[20:32] ---
    "I knew she'd snap. LOL"
    "Her life's over. Hahaha."
[20:37] ---
    I... I did it!
[20:40] ---
    A record-breaking...
[20:44] ---
    One million Likes!
[20:48] ---
    Check it out. This puppy is so cute!
[20:51] ---
    Yeah!
[20:52] ---
    I like it!
[20:53] ---
    Look at this! A million Likes! Look!
[20:57] ---
    Look... A million...
[20:59] ---
    Kamoi!
[21:01] ---
    Kamoi!
[21:03] ---
    Kamoi!!
[21:05] ---
    See that, Jomon Man?!
[21:07] ---
    I have more Likes than you!
[21:12] ---
    Good grief.
[21:15] ---
    That ends that.
[21:17] ---
    Likes were supposed to be a way to
    share what people really thought was good.
[21:23] ---
    Sad, isn't it?
[21:25] ---
    Kamoi!
[21:27] ---
    Hey, Dad...
[21:29] ---
    what does that "kamoi" Jomon Man
    keeps saying mean?
[21:33] ---
    Ah, that means "scary."
[21:37] ---
    "Scary"?
[21:38] ---
    For Jomon Man, it must be absolutely
    terrifying to see modern people every day
[21:45] ---
    who are obsessed with
    and controlled by their own civilization.
[21:54] ---
    Kamoi!
[22:01] ---
    Ga ga gi gu GeGeGe no Kitaro
[22:01] ---
    ga ga gi gu GeGeGe no Kitaro
[22:06] ---
    Ga gi gu ge Go Go Go
[22:06] ---
    ga gi gu ge Go Go Go
[22:09] ---
    Ga ga gi gu GeGeGe no Kitaro
[22:09] ---
    ga ga gi gu GeGeGe no Kitaro
[22:17] ---
    Clop-clop-clop on a moonlit night
[22:17] ---
    kankara kororin tsukiyo no ban ni
[22:21] ---
    They gather to the clopping of geta
[22:21] ---
    geta wo narashite yatsura ga atsumarya
[22:25] ---
    Daddy Eyeball in his bath bowl
[22:25] ---
    medama no oyaji chawan no furo de
[22:29] ---
    A single lecture and everyone consents
[22:29] ---
    sekkyou ippatsu nattoku
[22:32] ---
    We teach the rampant ones a lesson
[22:32] ---
    yaritai houdai no minasama niwa
    okyu mo suemasu
[22:40] ---
    We can't just do nothing
[22:40] ---
    hottokenai desyo
[22:45] ---
    To the mysterious GeGeGe Forest
[22:45] ---
    fushigi na GeGeGe no Mori e
[22:51] ---
    Take a deep breath together
[22:51] ---
    issyo ni shinkokyu
[22:54] ---
    So we can live happily
[22:54] ---
    waratte kuraseru youni
[23:01] ---
    A man who committed a crime
    steps onto a bus.
[23:04] ---
    Dad, he's headed to...
[23:07] ---
    Next time on GeGeGe no Kitaro
[23:10] ---
    "Capital Punishment!
    Exiled to the Underworld"
[23:12] ---
    The door to the unseen world opens...
[23:15] ---
    
[23:17] ---