E8 - To the South

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    To the south
SIGN    You're pretty good, Partner
SIGN    You're not too bad yourself
[04:57] Dayon
    Dayon!
SIGN    All right, Partner, let's go
SIGN    To the south
SIGN    Dayon
SIGN    "Mt. Takao"
[06:31] Choro
    Good morning. I'm Choromatsu.
[06:34] Choro
    Today, we're all going to Mt. Takao.
[06:38] Choro
    Mt. Takao is a popular tourist
    spot located in Hachioji.
[06:41] Choro
    More people climb it per year than
    any other mountain in the world.
[06:45] Choro
    I'm so excited!
[06:50] Choro
    Guys, hurry up. We're gonna miss the train.
[06:54] Ichi
    Here I am.
[06:57] Choro
    You're taking this climb very lightly.
[06:59] Choro
    Why are you wearing sandals?
[07:01] Kara
    Sorry for the wait.
[07:03] Choro
    Why do you have a guitar?
[07:05] Todo
    All set!
SIGN    Sunscreen
[07:08] Choro
    You're way too worried about sunburn!
[07:10] Choro
    We're climbing a mountain, Todomatsu! A little sunburn comes with the territory!
[07:18] Choro
    Huh?!
[07:19] Choro
    I didn't plan on this mountain
    trip being that hardcore!
[07:23] Choro
    Wait, uh...
[07:24] Choro
    Where's the last one?
[07:38] Choro
    Wake up!
[07:47] Oso
    Man, the local train is so empty
    during the day on weekdays. I love it.
[07:52] Oso
    Why don't most people ride around this time?
[07:56] Choro
    Probably because they're working.
[07:58] Jyushi
    If you go anywhere, going during
    the day on a weekday is the best.
[08:00] Jyushi
    It's never very crowded.
[08:02] Todo
    Why doesn't everyone else do this?
    Are they stupid?
[08:06] Jyushi
    It's probably because they're working.
[08:08] Kara
    I guess that makes us NEETs winners.
[08:12] Jyushi
    True.
[08:16] Ichi
    By the way, why are we
    suddenly going to Mt. Takao?
[08:20] Jyushi
    So that we NEETs can quell the tinge
    of anxiety we feel from day to day.
[08:26] Todo
    Exactly! If we take these
    slightly longer trips,
[08:29] Todo
    we feel like we've accomplished something,
    and we feel a little better emotionally.
[08:32] Todo
    That's what we're after here.
[08:34] Ichi
    I see.
[08:36] All
    Being NEETs is the best!
[08:42] Choro
    Enough nonsense, you guys.
    Here, just read this.
[08:45] Ichi
    The hell is this?
SIGN    Trip Guide
    Mt. Takao
[08:48] Choro
    A trip guide!
[08:49] All
    Guide?
[08:51] Choro
    I worked extra hard on these just
    so we could use them today.
[08:55] Oso
    I can't even fully express how
    disgusted I am with you right now.
[08:58] Choro
    Don't be disgusted with me!
[09:00] Kara
    Hey!
[09:01] Kara
    This guide...
[09:03] Kara
    doesn't seem to include my solo concert!
[09:06] Choro
    Why the hell would it?
SIGN    7 AM Wake up
    8 AM Kichijoji Station
    8:20 AM Meidaimae Station
    9:20 AM Takaosanguchi Station
    Commemorative Photo
    10:40 AM Reach the top
    Commemorative Photo
    12 PM Lunch
[09:07] Todo
    Uh... aren't there a lot
    of commemorative photos?
SIGN    1 PM Observatory
    Commemorative Photo
    3 PM Yakuo-in Temple
    Commemorative Photo
[09:11] Todo
    That's gonna be pretty
    rough with six guys.
[09:13] Jyushi
    The recreation sucks, too.
SIGN    5 PM Recreation
    Shiritori
    Bingo
    Hide and seek
    7 PM Campfire
    Commemorative Photo
    Let's all talk about our dreams.
[09:15] Jyu
    Shiritori, bingo, hide and seek...
    Yeah, this is hell.
[09:19] Ichi
    Hey, what the hell is this
    about a campfire at the end?
[09:22] Ichi
    "L-Let's all talk about our dreams"?
SIGN    7 PM Campfire
    Commemorative Photo
    Let's all talk about our dreams.
[09:25] Oso
    With six guys?
[09:28] Todo
    At Mt. Takao?
[09:31] Choro
    We're doing this! Got it?!
[09:33] Choro
    I took the time to figure this all out!
[09:35] Choro
    You'll do as I say!
[09:44] Choro
    We're transferring here.
[09:45] Some
    Yeah...
[09:48] Choro
    One more transfer.
[09:50] Choro
    Next, we're transferring over here.
[09:54] Ichi
    It is super easy on us to have someone like
    him, though. All we have to do is follow him.
[10:00] Oso
    It is pretty helpful.
[10:02] Kara
    Choromatsu, sorry for getting
    on your case earlier.
[10:05] All
    Sorry.
[10:13] Todo
    Where the hell are we?!
[10:15] Todo
    We're not getting any closer to
    the mountain, Choromatsu-niisan!
[10:18] Jyushi
    We're lost, aren't we?
[10:19] Ichi
    Come on...
[10:21] Choro
    No, we're not lost.
[10:23] Kara
    Uh, but...
[10:24] Choro
    We're not lost.
[10:25] Kara
    Wha—
[10:26] Choro
    We're not lost. We're not lost.
    We're not lost. We're not lost.
[10:28] Todo
    Dude, you're creeping me out...
SIGN    Ticket
SIGN    Ticket
[10:40] Jyu
    Huh?
[10:42] Jyushi
    Crap. I don't have my ticket.
[10:44] Todo
    What? Jeez...
[10:46] Ichi
    I don't have mine, either.
[10:47] Todo
    What?!
[10:48] Kara
    Me, neither.
[10:49] Todo
    Huh?!
[10:49] Kara
    Osomatsu, do you have your ticket?
[10:52] Oso
    What's a ticket?
[10:54] Todo
    Uh, hello?! Adults supposedly over 20!
[10:57] Todo
    Er, Choromatsu-niisan, there's no
    point in looking through the guide.
[11:00] Todo
    It's not gonna solve anything for you.
[11:16] Choro
    What are you doing?
[11:17] Jyushi
    Be careful! Ya never know what's
    gonna happen on the mountain!
[11:20] Choro
    We're not there yet.
[11:22] Todo
    Hmm... How far should we go?
[11:25] Todo
    It's too hard to go all the way to the summit.
SIGN    Yakuo-in Temple
[11:28] Choro
    How about we go to Yakuo-in, then?
[11:30] Choro
    Let's pay our respects there.
[11:32] Todo
    Oh, nice. We should get going, then.
    I don't want it to get dark.
[11:35] Choro
    Yeah. So... which way to the mountain?
[11:39] Kara
    The mountain's that way.
[11:41] Jyushi
    Huh? How can you tell, Karamatsu-niisan?
[11:44] Kara
    How can I tell, you ask?
[11:46] Kara
    That's because... the mountain's calling to me.
[11:49] Jyushi
    That's awesome!
[11:51] Todo
    The mountain's this way.
[11:55] Choro
    Hey, wait. We're not all here.
[12:04] Todo
    It's too early to buy gifts!
    Let's buy them on our way home.
SIGN    Myount Takao Gifts
[12:07] Todo
    Also, do you even need that katana?
[12:09] Oso
    It's so cool.
[12:10] Jyushi
    So cool!
[12:11] Choro
    Jyushimatsu! You don't need to buy one!
[12:16] Ichi
    I guess I'm not going to find Ichimatsu.
[12:19] Jyushi
    I found Matsuno, though!
[12:20] Ichi
    For real?!
[12:24] Choro
    Seriously, save the souvenirs for later!
[12:27] Todo
    Instagram likes, here I come!
[12:28] Choro
    Don't wander off, Todomatsu!
[13:01] Choro
    Food later! We need to go to the temple first!
SIGN    Cable Car Station
SIGN    Lift Station
[13:09] Jyushi
    Which should we take?
[13:11] Todo
    It's hard to decide.
[13:13] Todo
    Seriously, put down the guide.
[13:14] Kara
    My brothers...
[13:16] Kara
    Do you really want to rely on civilization?
[13:20] Kara
    The mountain's crying!
[13:22] Kara
    Let's walk up!
[13:24] Kara
    Let's work together to... own this mountain!
[13:28] Todo
    But if we walk up, it's going
    to take almost two hours.
[13:32] Kara
    Huh?
[13:33] Oso
    Go ahead.
[13:34] Jyushi
    Go for it.
[13:36] Choro
    Osomatsu-niisan, should we
    take the cable car or lift?
[13:40] Oso
    Who cares? Why don't we just split up?
[13:45] Todo
    Who's going on the cable car?
[13:46] Choro
    Me.
[13:47] Jyu
    Who's going on the lift?
[13:49] Oso
    Sure.
[13:51] Jyu
    What about you, Ichimatsu-niisan?
[13:52] Ichi
    I'm not sure. This is a hard decision.
[13:55] Todo
    The cable car's totally better. It's safer.
[13:58] Jyushi
    But the lift's way more exciting!
[14:01] Choro
    But the view from the cable
    car tends to be better.
[14:05] Kara
    We need to feel that wind! Lift it is!
[14:08] Jyushi
    What are you going to do, Ichimatsu-niisan?
[14:09] Ichi
    It's a really hard decision. The kind
    that makes your personality come out.
[14:13] Kara
    Take the lift, I'm telling you!
SIGN    Tickets
    
    Welcome
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Cable Car Lift Groups
[14:14] ---
    I say cable car!
[14:15] ---
    Feel the wind!
[14:17] ---
    It's the lift you want!
[14:22] All
    What should we do?
[14:23] Oso
    Can we just decide already?!
[14:26] Choro
    So we're good with the lift?
[14:27] All
    Yeah.
[14:28] Choro
    Okay, then...
[14:28] Kara
    N-Now, hang on!
[14:30] Kara
    This is pretty expensive!
[14:35] Ichi
    Wh-What should we do?
[14:37] Todo
    I dunno.
[14:38] Kara
    I didn't expect to face an obstacle like this...
[14:40] Jyushi
    Is there a NEET discount?
[14:42] Oso
    Of course not.
[14:48] Jyushi
    Hey, I've got a great idea!
SIGN    One Way Round Trip
[14:57] Todo
    The mountain! We're going up the mountain!
[15:00] Choro
    Six for the kids' pwice pwease!
[15:02] Ichi
    Pwease!
[15:03] Jyushi
    We're kids!
[15:04] Oso
    Kids!
[15:06] All
    Kids' pwice!
SIGN    One way Foot of the mountain -> Summit
SIGN    Operation Hours
[15:11] Oso
    Damn it... She charged full price.
    Mt. Takao pulls no punches.
[15:15] Kara
    Yeah, we gave it too little credit.
[15:20] Ichi
    I can't anymore.
[15:22] Todo
    That was fast. We haven't even
    gone up the mountain yet.
[15:25] Ichi
    My feet are going to fall off.
[15:26] Todo
    Why did you even wear sandals?
[15:29] Kara
    We're gonna be getting on in pairs.
     We should decide who's going with who.
[15:32] Oso
    What? That's gross.
[15:34] Oso
    We can just go one by one.
[15:36] Choro
    We can't. We'd be
    inconveniencing other people.
[15:39] Choro
    Let's decide the pairs with rock-paper-scissors.
[15:42] Choro
    Here we go. Ready, and...
[15:44] All
    Shoot.
[15:45] All
    Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
[15:48] Jyushi
    There it is!
[15:52] Kara
    Good for you. Sitting next to me
    is a treat, you lucky bastard, you.
[15:57] Ichi
    Totty, will you switch with me?
[16:00] Todo
    Huh? Switch? Really?!
[16:04] Ichi
    Nah, never mind. Both options sorta suck.
[16:06] Todo
    Right?
[16:07] Both
    What's that supposed to mean?
[16:08] Choro
    Wanna switch?
[16:11] All
    Yeah, no way in hell.
[16:12] Choro
    I figured.
[16:13] Oso
    What's that supposed to mean?
[16:17] Oso
    Wait, why are you shaking?
[16:19] Oso
    What's wrong?
[16:20] Choro
    H-How do you get on a lift?
[16:23] Oso
    Huh?
[16:23] Choro
    Crap... I-I might not be able to do this.
[16:25] Oso
    It's easy. You just stand there and it'll
    come to you, then you just sit down.
[16:29] Choro
    I'm getting nervous...
[16:41] Oso
    Hey, you okay?
[16:44] Oso
    Wha—
[16:45] Oso
    Why the hell would you dodge it?!
[16:49] Kara
    Hey!
[16:51] Jyushi
    Wait, wait, wait, wait.
[16:56] Kara
    The mountain and me...
[16:58] Kara
    The mountain and me! The mountain and me!
[17:04] Oso
    I'm so hyped! Woo!
[17:08] Choro
    Stop moving around so much! It's dangerous!
[17:11] Oso
    Hey, just look.
[17:20] Jyushi
    Say, Totty... Could you take
    some pictures of me, too?
[17:24] Todo
    Nope. I'm taking these to look like
    I came to Mt. Takao on my own.
[17:29] Jyushi
    What?
[17:30] Todo
    If I take pictures with you guys,
     I'll get fewer likes.
[17:33] Jyushi
    What?!
[17:34] Todo
    Here, take my picture.
[17:37] Jyushi
    Okay!
[17:38] Todo
    Huh? Hey, wait! What?!
[17:41] Todo
    Hey! Why'd you post that?!
[17:44] Jyushi
    Maybe they'll think we're on a date.
[17:47] Todo
    The horror!
[17:49] Oso
    Hey, guys!
[17:51] Oso
    Aren't you glad we came today?
[17:53] Oso
    Being NEETs is awesome! Yay!
[17:55] All
    Yay!
SIGN    Caution High Voltage
[18:01] Girl
    Oh, stop. I'm going to fall!
[18:09] Oso
    Hope you find happiness!
[18:10] Choro
    Don't cheat on each other, okay?
[18:11] Both
    Don't forget the birth control!
[18:13] Both
    Make sure you wear protection!
SIGN    Say cheese!
SIGN    Photo Spot
SIGN    Photo Op
[18:20] Photographer
    Okay, I'm gonna take the picture!
[18:26] Kara
    The hell is up with these poses?
    I can't believe he got these!
SIGN    1 Photo 700 yen
[18:29] Ichi
    I sorta want these.
[18:31] Oso
    I know! I totally want these!
[18:34] Guy
    Thank you very much.
    One photo will be 700 yen.
[18:38] All
    Nah, that's okay.
[18:39] Guy
    Huh?
[18:40] Jyushi
    We're flat broke, so...
[18:42] Guy
    Huh?
[18:48] Ichi
    I-I can't anymore...
[18:51] Oso
    Damn it, this katana's in the way.
[19:01] Todo
    I'm done...
[19:06] Jyushi
    Toughen up, men! Walk! Walk!
[19:18] All
    Wow, this is amazing!
[19:21] Choro
    It's so pretty! This feels great!
[19:23] Ichi
    The air's so different up here.
[19:25] Kara
    Yeah, it's just so refreshing.
[19:27] Todo
    Wanna take a photo?
[19:29] All
    Sheeeh!
[19:34] Ichi
    It's good.
[19:36] Jyushi
    Yum!
[19:42] Kara
    Uh, hey.
[19:44] Kara
    Hey, now.
[19:45] Kara
    Hey!
[20:13] Oso
    Man, that was satisfying.
[20:15] Ichi
    Okay, let's go home.
[20:17] Choro
    Wait, wait, wait.
[20:18] Choro
    We need to pay our respects!
    We're going to Yakuo-in!
[20:35] Oso
    Damn it, again?
[20:38] Jyushi
    It's pretty long...
[20:43] All
    Hey!
[20:45] Oso
    No fair using a truck! Get off, damn it!
[20:46] Jyushi
    You cheaters!
[20:49] Ichi
    Nope. I'm done.
[20:51] kara
    Let's give up.
[20:52] Oso
    This is far enough.
[20:54] Kara
    Let's go home.
[20:55] Ichi
    We can't...
[20:58] Choro
    We were always like this.
[21:01] Choro
    Whenever we started something,
    we'd immediately make excuses, run away,
[21:05] Choro
    and never accomplish anything.
[21:09] Choro
    But this time was different.
[21:12] Choro
    We didn't want to give up.
[21:14] Choro
    We felt like if we reached our goal,
    something inside us would change.
[21:20] Choro
    Yes...
[21:21] Choro
    In order to fight against the
[21:23] Choro
    shitty routine that would
    come for us again tomorrow.
[21:26] Choro
    We didn't want to give up.
[21:37] Choro
    And then...
[21:39] Choro
    We finally made it.
[21:42] Choro
    We finally did it.
[21:45] Choro
    It may be trivial,
[21:47] Choro
    but we pulled through.
[21:50] Choro
    Even we can do this.
[21:53] Choro
    Or so we thought...
[21:57] Choro
    But this was all...
SIGN    End
[21:59] Choro
    an illusion.
SIGN    Next time on
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
[23:34] Jyushi
    Jyushimatsu here!
[23:36] Jyushi
    In the next episode of Mr. Osomatsu,
    we're going to try to do chores!
[23:40] Jyushi
    Chores from above, chores from below.
[23:43] Jyushi
    Chores from the right, chores from the left.
[23:46] Jyushi
    I wanna know what chores everyone's good at.
SIGN    "Let's Do Chores" etc.
[23:49] Jyushi
    I don't wanna know what
    chores everyone's good at.