E16 - Nanmaider

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:36] Kaoruko
    The city filled with crime in
    the new future: Akatsuka City.
[01:41] Kaoruko
    In this city inhabited entirely by failures,
    labor reform was being attempted,
SIGN    Dekoboko Corporation
[01:46] Kaoruko
    and the peace of the office
    was being threatened.
[01:51] Guy
    It's amazing! Apparently Section Chief Maezono
    succeeded in creating a new AI robot!
[01:56] Guy
    An AI robot?
[01:57] Guy
    Let's go see it!
[02:00] Guy
    Come on, Kaoruko-chan!
[02:02] Kaoruko
    Huh?
SIGN    AI Robot Completed
[02:07] Mae
    Listen well, all of you.
[02:08] Mae
    We are entering the age of AI.
[02:11] Mae
    A robot that will listen to any order...
[02:14] Mae
    He is the perfect employee.
[02:17] mae
    And his name is...
[02:22] Mae
    SaneCop.
[02:24] Mae
    He will be watching over your work.
[02:27] Mae
    He's basically this office's police officer.
[02:30] Mae
    Try not get arrested, you hear?
[02:39] Sane
    No slacking.
[02:42] Sane
    Do your work.
[02:43] Guy
    Save me!
[02:45] Sane
    I guess you get hungry
    even if you're worthless.
[02:54] Kaoruko
    What's your name?
[02:56] Sane
    SaneCop.
[02:58] Kaoruko
    Is it, though?
[02:59] Kaoruko
    Could your name actually be Sanemats—
[03:01] Mae
    It's SaneCop.
[03:03] Sane
    Boss.
[03:04] Mae
    Go, SaneCop.
[03:06] Sane
    Yes, boss.
[03:36] Kaoruko
    The way he's sitting...
[03:38] Kaoruko
    I knew it! It's Sanematsu-san!
[03:43] Kaoruko
    You're Sanematsu-san, aren't you?
[03:45] Kaoruko
    You were an employee working
    here until a few years ago,
[03:49] Kaoruko
    but you lost your life in
    an unexpected accident.
[03:53] Kaoruko
    It's me, Kaoruko.
[03:54] Kaoruko
    Don't you remember me, Sanematsu-san?
[03:57] Sane
    Sanema...
[04:01] Sane
    My head hurts!
[04:07] Sane
    Who am I?
[04:11] Kaoruko
    No! You're Sanematsu-san!
[04:14] Sane
    I'm SaneCop.
[04:15] Kaoruko
    You're Sanematsu-san!
[04:16] Sane
    I'm SaneCop.
[04:17] Kaoruko
    A few years ago, you used
    the company car and—
[04:21] Sane
    Stop!
[04:22] Sane
    I'm SaneCop.
[04:23] Sane
    I'm just a corporate slave AI.
    I don't have a real name.
SIGN    Sanematsu
SIGN    Deceased Died in an accident
[04:46] Sane
    Who... Who am I?
[04:56] (Flashback) Mae
    Sanematsu-kun, use this car today.
[05:00] (Flashback) Mae
    And be quick about it, you scum.
[05:43] (Flashback) Kaoru
    It can't be...
[05:48] (Flashback) Kaoru
    No!
SIGN    Dekoboko Corporation
[06:00] Prez
    Maezono-kun, you've created
    yet another amazing product.
[06:06] Prez
    SaneCop... Because of him,
    our productivity's skyrocketing.
[06:11] Prez
    You're next in line to become president.
[06:13] Mae
    Thank you, sir.
[06:16] Prez
    I expect great things from you.
[06:20] Prez
    What's going on?
[06:26] Prez
    SaneCop!
[06:27] Mae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:29] Mae
    D-Don't tell me you managed to elude
[06:32] Mae
    the security AIs' pursuit all by yourself...
[06:35] Mae
    Impossible!
[06:40] Sane
    So it was you who killed me?
[06:44] Sane
    You meddled with the company car
    to make it look like an accident
SIGN    Violation
[06:48] Sane
    and made me into this.
[06:52] Prez
    Wh-What are you doing?
[06:55] Mae
    Have no fear. He's not going to shoot,
[06:58] Mae
    because he's just a corporate slave.
SIGN    Violation
[07:00] Mae
    I've programmed him to be unable
    to disobey his superiors.
[07:04] Mae
    That won't change as long
    as I'm your superior!
[07:14] Sane
    Stop slacking. Work.
[07:16] Sane
    Do your work.
[07:18] Sane
    I guess you get hungry
    even if you're worthless.
[07:21] Prez
    What's going on here?
[07:22] Prez
    Do you think you can get away
    with this abuse of power?!
[07:26] Prez
    If this gets exposed,
    our company's finished!
SIGN    Violation
[07:28] Prez
    Maezono, you're fired!
[07:32] Sane
    Thank you.
[07:46] Kaoruko
    Great job!
[07:57] Prez
    Well done. What's your name?
[08:03] Sane
    Sanematsu.
SIGN    Nanmaider Attacks
SIGN    Kichijoji Station
SIGN    Kichijoji
SIGN    Sake
[09:31] Iyami
    Great job. Yes, great job.
[09:35] Iyami
    Better work like your lives depend on it.
[09:38] Iyami
    And remember to pay lots in taxes.
[09:40] Iyami
    Me is going to drink delicious sake
    and eat delicious food with that money!
[09:50] Iyami
    Rich people! My favorite!
[09:53] Iyami
    Help a guy out, will ya?
[09:55] Lady
    Pervert!
[09:56] Lady
    Disgusting! What even is he?!
[09:58] Lady
    We'll catch his poorness!
[09:59] Iyami
    Please wait, my ladies!
[10:02] Iyami
    My ladies!
[10:04] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[10:09] Iyami
    It's my lucky day!
[10:12] Iyami
    Me is so hot.
SIGN    Obey
SIGN    Super Cheap
    Apartments
SIGN    Obey
[10:22] Sign
    Remain Calm Don't Panic Don't Draw Attention to Yourself Obey
[10:25] Iyami
    What the heck?
[10:30] Iyami
    Sh-Sheeeh!
[10:35] ---
    Matsuno
[10:39] Oso
    Congrats!
[10:41] Todo
    Congrats!
[10:42] Jyushi
    Congrats!
[10:43] Ichi
    Congrats.
[10:45] Choro
    Congrats!
[10:46] Kara
    Congrats!
[10:47] Oso
    Congrats to us for getting jobs!
[10:51] Dad
    Isn't this great, Mom?
[10:53] Mom
    Yes, for real! Took you
    long enough, for real!
[10:57] Dad
    So you've all finally found jobs.
[11:00] Dad
    I'm so proud of you.
[11:01] Dad
    Do your best!
[11:03] Dad
    The only thing I look forward to
    in life is for you all to make it big!
[11:07] Dad
    Matsuzou's rooting for you!
[11:09] Mom
    So is Matsuyo! You have my support!
[11:13] Dad
    Oh, thank goodness!
[11:14] Mom
    Seriously!
[11:17] Dad
    I'm gonna go take a piss.
[11:21] Iyami
    Good evening.
[11:22] Dad
    Jeez, you startled me!
[11:24] Dad
    What do you want?!
[11:31] Dad
    What?
[11:37] Iyami
    They're fakes.
[11:39] Iyami
    Those six aren't your sons.
[11:42] Dad
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[11:45] Iyami
    Put these on and have a look.
[11:47] Dad
    Sunglasses? But why?
[11:49] Iyami
    Just do it.
[11:50] Iyami
    Put these on and look at those six.
[11:52] Dad
    Cut it out.
[11:54] Dad
    Listen. We're celebrating the fact
    that my very good sons got jobs.
[11:58] Dad
    Don't ruin the mood!
[11:59] Iyami
    I'm telling you, those aren't your
    sextuplets. They're fakes.
[12:03] Dad
    What's your problem?!
[12:04] Dad
    Why would you say that?
[12:05] Dad
    They found jobs!
     That's what we're celebrating!
[12:08] Iyami
    Seriously, you'll understand
    once you put these on—
[12:12] Dad
    I'll have you know that my sons
    only went astray because
[12:16] Dad
    they hung around shady adults like you!
[12:18] Dad
    Stay away from my sons from now on.
[12:21] Dad
    Got it? Scram!
[12:23] Iyami
    Just put them on!
[12:27] Iyami
    Just put them on!
[12:29] Iyami
    Just put them on!
[12:31] Iyami
    Put them on!
[12:33] Iyami
    Put them on!
[12:36] Iyami
    Put them on!
[12:37] Dad
    Mind your own business!
[12:48] Iyami
    Put them on! Put them on!
[12:54] Dad
    Cut it out! That's enough!
[13:02] Iyami
    See the truth!
[13:04] Dad
    Huh?
[13:05] Sons
    Yay! Yay!
[13:11] Dad
    What?!
[13:13] Dad
    Wh-Wh-What's going on here?
[13:15] Dad
    What are those creatures?
[13:18] Iyami
    Those things are all over the
    city disguised as humans.
[13:22] Iyami
    But as long as you wear these
    sunglasses, you can see the truth.
[13:26] Dad
    Huh?
[13:28] Todo
    Dad?
[13:29] Todo
    What are you doing? Celebrate with us more!
[13:33] All
    Celebrate with us!
[13:38] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
SIGN    Obey
[13:46] Sign
    Don't Panic Don't Stand Out Obey Don't Get Involved Play
SIGN    Slack Off
[13:48] Sign
    Rest Run Trick People Steal
SIGN    Microtransactions
SIGN    Finance
SIGN    Spend
SIGN    Expel Bargain
SIGN    Don't Hesitate
SIGN    Use
SIGN    Eat
SIGN     Fried Chicken Gyoza
SIGN     Gain Large Free Oily Weight Serving
SIGN    Request
SIGN    Dumbasses Obey
SIGN    Snap
[14:07] Sign
    Stop Trying
SIGN    Be Depressed
SIGN    Be Envious
[14:17] Dad
    I see... So that's how it is.
[14:20] Dad
    They're all aliens!
[14:24] Mom
    There, there. There, there.
[14:25] Mom
    There, there, there, there, there.
[14:30] Dad
    Wh-What's going on?
[14:32] Dad
    What are those creatures? At the rate
    they're going, they might take over Earth.
[14:39] Dad
    I think we might be the only
    ones who know the truth.
[14:42] Dad
    We have to do something.
[14:45] Dad
    We're going to save the world, Iyami!
[14:49] Dad
    Don't fall asleep! Humanity's in
    trouble! Take this seriously!
[14:53] Iyami
    Not interested.
[14:55] Dad
    What?! We're dealing with aliens here!
    They're gonna take over the world!
[14:59] Iyami
    It doesn't affect me at all if aliens are here,
    even if they take over the world.
[15:04] Dad
    What?!
[15:06] Dad
    What the hell are you talking about?!
[15:10] Mom
    Yay! This is amazing!
[15:12] Mom
    I'm so happy!
[15:16] Dad
    Must be nice being you.
[15:19] Dad
    Doing whatever you want.
    Never caring what others think.
[15:25] Dad
    I'm exhausted.
[15:26] Dad
    I work every day like I've been possessed.
[15:30] Dad
    I thought my sons had finally
    found work, and this happens.
[15:35] Dad
    I'm done thinking.
    I don't want to do anything.
[15:39] Dad
    I just want to be free.
[15:42] Iyami
    Quit your job, then.
[15:44] Dad
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[15:47] Dad
    I can't just quit!
[15:48] Iyami
    Why?
[15:49] Dad
    I have a family!
[15:51] Iyami
    Then abandon your family.
[15:53] Dad
    What?! I could never do that!
[15:56] Iyami
    Why?
[15:57] Dad
    Wh-Why?
[15:59] Iyami
    Do you want to be free or not? Which is it?
[16:08] Iyami
    You're a fool.
[16:12] Dad
    Wait.
[16:16] Dad
    Iyami... Won't you help me out?
[16:20] Dad
    My sons are probably being
    held captive somewhere.
[16:23] Dad
    As their father, I have to go save them.
[16:28] Iyami
    Me is not interested in trouble.
[16:30] Dad
    Please! I beg of you!
[16:37] Iyami
    There's nothing fun in this world.
[16:39] Iyami
    Me has nothing to do.
[16:42] Iyami
    Me doesn't mind making it a little more fun.
[16:47] Dad
    Th-Then...
[16:50] Dad
    Iyami, thank you! I owe you!
[16:54] Iyami
    That'll be 30,000 yen.
[16:56] Dad
    You're charging me?!
SIGN    Kichijoji Station
[17:16] Dad
    We finally found them.
[17:18] Dad
    This is their hideout.
SIGN    We Are
     Nanmaiders
[17:22] Boss
    Hewwo, people of Earth.
     I am the boss, Nanmaider.
[17:26] Boss
    Say hewwo to my wittle fwiends.
[17:28] A
    I'm Gonvader.
[17:30] B
    I'm Jinvader.
[17:32] C
    I'm NannyNannyBooder.
[17:33] D
    I'm GaaGaaGooder.
[17:35] E
    I'm AGoner.
[17:37] F
    I'm Calender.
[17:38] G
    I'm YupImmaGoner.
[17:40] Boss
    We're the Nanmaiders.
[17:43] A
    We're using our Nanmaider wave
[17:45] A
    to control the idiots and exploit them.
[17:49] B
    We'll make clones that only look like humans
[17:52] B
    and send them into the city!
[17:55] Some
    Aye-aye, sir! Heave-ho, heave-ho! Keep it going!
[17:59] Mom
    Eat some crab! Eat some crab! Eat some crab!
[18:02] Toto
    Sweet! I'm finally popular!
[18:06] Dayon
    I'm super popular!
[18:10] C
    If you comply with us,
[18:12] C
    we will promise just you
    rich people a bright future.
[18:16] D
    Our paradise will be complete by 2025.
[18:20] All
    Nanmaider!
[18:22] Dad
    We won't let that happen!
[18:29] Boss
    Intwuders!
[18:31] Both
    Attack!
[18:36] Both
    Sheeeh!
[18:38] Dad
    Oh, shit! Crap! Matsuzou's in danger!
[18:41] Dad
    Save me, partner!
[18:44] Dad
    Hey! What are you doing?
[18:46] Iyami
    Rich people really do eat the best stuff.
[18:49] Iyami
    Me loves money.
[18:50] Lady
    Eek!
[18:55] Dad
    Don't do anything bad!
[18:57] Iyami
    Oho. That's what's causing all this.
[19:01] Iyami
    Leave this to me!
[19:04] Dad
    Wait, you're not...
[19:04] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[19:05] Dad
    Iyami!
[19:08] Iyami
    Sheh! Sheh! Sheeeh!
[19:11] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[19:12] Dad
    A-Amazing... Iyami.
[19:15] Dad
    You really are reliable when it counts.
[19:18] Six
    Dad!
[19:20] Ichi
    You came to save us. Thanks.
[19:23] Jyushi
    Sorry we always rely on you so much.
[19:25] Todo
    You must be tired.
[19:26] Oso
    But don't worry. We're okay now.
[19:37] Dad
    If my sons were actually that decent,
[19:39] Dad
    my life would be so much easier.
[19:42] Dad
    Give me back my sons!
[19:45] Dad
    Osomatsu! Karamatsu!
[19:48] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[19:50] Dad
    Ichimatsu! Choromatsu!
[19:53] Dad
    Jyushimatsu! Todomatsu!
[19:56] Dad
    Where are you?!
[19:57] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[20:18] Oso
    Dad?
[20:20] Dad
    Matsuzou... finish...
[20:23] Oso
    Huh?
[20:27] Oso
    Th-The hell?!
[20:37] Dad
    Did we do it?
[20:39] Dad
    Iyami...
[20:42] Dad
    Thank you.
[20:47] Dad
    Now Earth is back to normal.
[20:53] Dad
    The world has been saved.
[20:58] Six
    Iyami, thank you!
[21:01] Six
    Huh?
[21:02] Oso
    Wait, what is that?
[21:06] Iyami
    Sheh sheh sheh! Sheeeh sheh sheh sheh sheeeh!
[21:10] Iyami
    Sheh sheh sheh! Sheeeh sheh sheh sheh sheeeh!
[21:10] Kara
    Wh-What is this wave?!
[21:12] Jyu
    My head!
[21:27] People
    Sheh! Sheh sheh!
[21:41] Iyami
    Now the world's a better place!
[21:44] ---
    Sheeeh!
[21:46] ---
    Sheeeh!
SIGN    It's the End
SIGN    Next time on
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
[23:25] Jyushi
    Hello, Jyushimatsu here.
[23:27] Jyushi
    Next week on Mr. Osomatsu, we have "Imoni."
[23:29] Jyushi
    Do you know what imoni is?
[23:31] Jyushi
    Apparently imoni is something that's
    fun to enjoy outside with others.
[23:36] Jyushi
    That means it's baseball!
[23:37] Jyushi
    Imoni equals baseball!
[23:40] Jyushi
    They even do imoni in Ehime in Shikoku.
[23:42] Jyushi
    And that means the Island League!
[23:45] Jyushi
    Imoni's originally from America.
[23:47] Jyushi
    King Imoni Bay Blues!
SIGN    "Imoni" etc.
[23:49] Jyushi
    What? That's not what it is?
[23:51] Jyushi
    Okay, then. Whatever.