E8 - Jyushimatsu and the Dolphin / Totoko and Nyaa

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    "Synthesis"
[01:36] Deka
    It's finally complete!
[01:39] Deka
    This is the invention of the century!
    It will instantly combine any two things.
SIGN    Knock First
[01:44] Deka
    Right Outta Nowhere-chan No. 1.
[01:50] Deka
    First, we'll do this,
[01:53] Deka
    then this...
[01:56] Deka
    Here we go!
SIGN    In Use
SIGN    In Use
[02:31] Deka
    It's a success!
[02:33] Deka
    Curry rice right outta nowhere!
[02:36] Deka
    This is going to make me rich!
    All my hard work's finally paying off!
[02:43] Deka
    I'm so happy!
SIGN    In Use
SIGN    In Use
[03:21] Deka
    My name is Flypan.
[03:27] Deka
    Pleasure doing business with you.
SIGN    Uochuu
[03:30] Oso
    One, two... One, two...
[03:33] Toto
    Stop peeking, you dumbass! Get outta here!
[03:36] Oso
    Ow...
[03:38] Iyami
    Sheeeh! What are you
    going to do about this?!
[03:41] Iyami
    I demand compensation! This is slander!
[03:45] Iyami
    Hand over reparations!
[04:04] Iya
    Sheeeh! My name is Iyamatsu!
[04:11] Iya
    Pleasure doing business with you.
[04:27] Chibi
    My name is Chibibou, jo!
[04:30] Chibi
    The hell?! You jerks! Dammit!
[04:33] Chibi
    Pleasure doing business with you.
[04:45] Kara
    I'm Karachoro!
[04:47] Choro
    Hey, hey, hey!
[04:49] Kara
    Come at me, bro!
[04:50] Choro
    Bring it on, bro!
[04:54] Both
    Pleasure doing business with you.
[05:06] Jyushi
    Boeh!
[05:10] Ichi
    We're a monster.
[05:14] All
    Pleasure doing business with you.
[05:26] Thing
    My name is Hashimoto Nyaanosuke, meow.
[05:28] Thing
    Meow.
[05:30] Thing
    Pleasure doing business with you.
[05:46] Toto
    Pleasure doing business with you.
[06:31] Dayon
    Gonna combine even more!
SIGN    Bakery
SIGN    Ramen
[06:44] Dayon
    Even more!
[06:53] Dayon
    Now God will be complete.
[07:35] Dayon
    I've done something horrible!
SIGN    End
SIGN    Akatsuka Sealand
SIGN    Akatsuka Sea
    Dolphin Show
SIGN    Jyushimatsu and
    the Dolphin
SIGN    Dolphin Trainer Office
[08:16] Kara
    You can't be serious!
SIGN    Dolphin Trainer Office
[08:21] Kara
    Are you mocking this job?
    You must be, to say something like that!
[08:26] Jyu
    No, I'm not! I just want to do this job.
[08:30] Jyu
    So, please!
[08:33] Kara
    It's impossible.
[08:34] Jyu
    Please!
[08:35] Kara
    Nope.
[08:36] Jyu
    Please!
[08:39] Ichi
    Go on home. There are things
    in this world that work out if you try,
[08:44] Ichi
    but there are some that don't.
[08:45] Choro
    And this case would be the latter.
    You're not cut out for this job.
[08:49] Jyu
    Please don't say that!
[08:51] Choro
    Well, it's true.
[08:52] Jyu
    But why?!
[08:54] Choro
    I mean, I could understand if you wanted
    to become a dolphin trainer like us,
[08:59] Choro
    but you want to become a dolphin, right?
[09:01] Choro
    You mean an actual dolphin, right?
[09:05] Choro
    It's not possible.
[09:08] Jyu
    No. As long as I do my best,
    it'll work out somehow!
[09:11] All
    No, it won't!
[09:13] Todo
    It's impossible, no matter
    how you think about it!
[09:14] Jyu
    And I ask you not to say that!
[09:16] Oso
    Seriously, why a dolphin?!
    Why would you choose a dolphin?
SIGN    Now Hiring
SIGN    Become Friends
    with the Dolphins
[09:19] Oso
    If you want to be a trainer,
    we're short-staffed so we're definitely looking!
[09:23] Jyu
    No. I have no interest
    in becoming a trainer, so I can't.
[09:27] Oso
    You seriously piss me off.
[09:29] Kara
    How are you even going to become a dolphin?
[09:32] Jyu
    I'll work hard.
[09:33] Choro
    You're a human! You're not going to be able
    to swim backstroke or do high jumps!
[09:36] Jyu
    But I can!
[09:38] Ichi
    Why? Why do you want
    to be a dolphin so badly?
[09:42] Jyu
    Well, you see...
[09:44] Jyu
    I'm a NEET.
[09:47] Jyu
    B-Because I'm a NEET,
     I wanted to find a job.
[09:51] Jyu
    I want to be able to make money on my own...
[09:54] Choro
    Yeah, uh, we're not feeling sorry for you.
[09:56] Ichi
    You're a NEET, so you want a job?
[09:59] Ichi
    Seriously, why do you want
    to become a dolphin, then?
[10:01] Ichi
    If that's your goal,
    you should get a real job first.
[10:04] Ichi
    Though it's still impossible
    for you to become a dolphin!
[10:06] Jyu
    It's not impossible!
[10:07] All
    Get lost!
[10:08] Jyu
    No!
[10:11] Girl
    Please wait!
[10:14] Girl
    Leader, would you let me
    handle him for a while?
[10:18] Kara
    Huh? What do you mean?
[10:21] Girl
    I'll train him responsibly,
[10:24] Girl
    and I'll help him appear
    in the dolphin show as a dolphin.
[10:28] Kara
    Wh-What?
[10:38] Choro
    Come on, out of the way!
[10:39] Oso
    Move!
[10:41] Ichi
    The Dolphin Sisters are coming through!
[10:43] Kara
    Clear a path!
[10:46] Todo
    Ew, the pool reeks of human today, Sissies.
[10:52] Four
    How gross.
[10:54] Girl
    It's okay, Jyushimatsu-kun.
[10:57] Girl
    Let's practice together over here.
[11:00] Jyu
    ‘Kay.
[11:04] Girl
    You can do it, Jyushimatsu-kun!
[11:06] Girl
    Dolphins hold their breath for about
    fifteen minutes under the water.
[11:09] Girl
    Just twelve more minutes!
[11:12] Jyu
    I can't... I can't breathe!
[11:14] Girl
    What? You can't hold out?
[11:16] Girl
    Let's have you come
    up for air real quick, then.
[11:18] Girl
    Dolphins can fill their lungs 90% full
    of fresh air with a single breath.
[11:24] Girl
    Ready? Go!
[11:27] Girl
    Jyushimatsu-kun!
[11:30] Girl
    Jyushimatsu-kun!
[11:37] Gil
    And go!
[11:43] Girl
    Swim in that position, Jyushimatsu-kun.
[11:46] Girl
    Use your inner dolphin! Dolphin kick!
[11:48] Girl
    Feel the dolphin with
    every part of your body!
[11:51] Girl
    You're a dolphin!
    You're a dolphin, Jyushimatsu-kun!
[11:55] Girl
    Jyushimatsu-kun!
[12:00] Girl
    Okay, ready?
[12:01] Girl
    Here.
[12:05] Girl
    Come on, you have to
    swallow it whole. Ready?
[12:09] Girl
    Here.
[12:11] Girl
    Here.
[12:12] Girl
    Here.
[12:14] Girl
    Here, here, here, here.
[12:22] Girl
    Jeez! Why can't you even do that much?
[12:25] Girl
    Hurry up and let out an ultrasonic squeak.
[12:30] Girl
    Come on, hurry!
    You're a dolphin, aren't you?
[12:32] Girl
    Where's your whistling? Your barking?
[12:34] Girl
    Why can't you make those sounds? Ugh!
[12:37] Girl
    Jyushimatsu-kun, you idiot!
[12:41] Girl
    There!
[12:43] Girl
    Hup!
[12:46] Girl
    Here's your reward.
[12:48] Girl
    Hey! Straighten up, Jyushimatsu!
[12:52] Girl
    Jyushimatsu!
[12:54] Girl
    Jyushimatsu!
[12:55] Jyu
    You're tougher than I thought you'd be!
SIGN    Closed
[13:01] Iyami
    Sheeeh! Are you all training hard?
[13:05] Iyami
    If you mess up in front of the director,
    you'll have to deal with me.
SIGN    Director
[13:10] Kara
    Don't worry. We've got this down.
[13:12] Choro
    Please start the test whenever.
[13:14] Iyami
    Are you sure?
[13:16] Jyushi
    Thanks for your time!
[13:21] Deka
    Start the test.
[13:24] Todo
    I'll go first!
[13:26] Todo
    Jump!
[13:28] Iyami
    Very good.
[13:30] Oso
    There!
[13:30] Choro
    Go!
[13:35] Iyami
    Sheeeh! Fabulous!
[13:39] Deka
    Very good. You're all very skilled.
[13:42] Iyami
    We'll make a killing again
     won't we, sir?
[13:44] Girl
    Jyushimatsu, go!
[13:48] Iyami
    Huh?
[13:50] Girl
    Now's the time to show off all
    your hard work, Jyushimatsu!
[14:06] Girl
    Go!
[14:17] Deka
    I will now announce the results.
[14:20] Deka
    You're the only one that failed.
[14:22] Both
    What?!
[14:23] Girl
    No way!
[14:24] Jyushi
    Why?!
[14:25] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[14:29] Jyushi
    I'm going to drown! This pool is deep!
[14:33] Deka
    No dolphin looks like that.
[14:34] Iyami
    You're fired!
[14:41] Jyushi
    Why? But I worked so hard...
    I did my absolute best.
[14:46] Girl
    No, Jyushimatsu-kun. To be honest,
    I think you failed, too.
[14:52] Jyushi
    Huh?
[14:53] Girl
    You're not a dolphin at all.
[14:55] Girl
    I thought I was watching a grade
    schooler learning how to swim.
[15:00] Jyushi
    But wasn't the training a bit weird, too?
[15:03] Girl
    That's true, too.
[15:07] Girl
    It's just impossible. I was moved by
    your passion, so I tried to help, but...
[15:12] Girl
    It's just not possible for
    you to become a dolphin.
[15:16] Girl
    Let's go home.
[15:17] Jyushi
    No, I'm going to practice.
[15:19] Girl
    It's no use.
[15:20] Jyushi
    I've only failed the test once!
[15:22] Girl
    It's impossible! You're just not a dolphin!
[15:25] Jyushi
    Shut up! I'm going to do this!
[15:27] Girl
    Give it up!
[15:28] Jyushi
    No!
[15:29] Girl
    Just accept it!
[15:30] Jyushi
    No! I'll never give up on my dreams!
[15:37] Girl
    You blockhead.
[15:39] Girl
    Do what you want!
[16:07] Choro
    Having to work on your day off sucks.
[16:09] Oso
    So tired.
[16:10] Kara
    Who are we seeing at the mixer tonight?
[16:12] Todo
    Doctors.
[16:13] Kara
    Seriously?!
[16:16] Ichi
    Hey, what's that?
[16:20] kara
    Huh? What are they doing?
[16:24] Choro
    They're jumping... but there's no audience.
[16:31] Todo
    Go!
[16:32] Choro
    Here!
[16:36] Oso
    Go!
[16:48] Kara
    And that's a wrap on the Sealand
    dolphin show! Thank you very much!
[16:56] Jyu
    We're not done yet!
[16:58] Girl
    Huh?
[17:01] Jyu
    Here I go!
[17:04] Kara
    What do you think you're doing?!
[17:08] Iyami
    Sheeeh! Stop him immediately!
[17:11] Kara
    Right! Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
    the show is now over.
[17:15] Choro
    P-P-P-P-Please just ignore everything
    you see from here on out.
[17:18] Girl
    Move!
[17:19] Girl
    Everyone! This is a special program
    by our new dolphin, Jyushimatsu!
[17:25] Girl
    He's new, so he might not be the best,
    but please give him a warm welcome!
SIGN    Akatsuka
[17:37] Girl
    Go, Jyushimatsu-kun. Do everything
    you can possibly do now!
[17:58] Girl
    Huh?
[18:03] Girl
    H-He actually did it! Wh-What's going on?
[18:11] Girl
    A-Amazing! You look like one.
[18:13] Girl
    You look like a dolphin, Jyushimatsu-kun!
[18:21] Todo
    Wait, wait, what?!
[18:24] Oso
    What the heck is that?
[18:29] Ichi
    Hey, stop that! Stop!
[18:31] Choro
    Stop!
[18:33] Kara
    It's no use.
[18:34] Kara
    They aren't listening to us at all. Why?!
[18:39] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[18:43] Girl
    Go...
[18:48] Girl
    Go!
SIGN    The endless sea
SIGN    Beyond the horizon
SIGN    Jyushimatsu became
SIGN    a dolphin and is laughing
SIGN    If you feel like you've reached your limits
SIGN    Go to the sea and call out his name
SIGN    He'll be sure to come for you right away
SIGN    Jyushimatsu who became a dolphin
SIGN    Flip flop, splish splash
SIGN    Full Monty
SIGN    Flip flop, splish splash
SIGN    Ah, full Monty
SIGN    With you, with you
SIGN    So that I can smile with you
SIGN    I'll swim with my ass out
SIGN    It's just stupid to be depressed anymore
SIGN    Everybody let's...
SIGN    Jyushiolphin
SIGN    Completely naked, let's Jyushiolphin
SIGN    Jyushiolphin
SIGN    Jyushiolphin
SIGN    Fin
[21:45] ---
    Hybrid Oden
SIGN    "Totoko and Nyaa"
[21:53] Toto
    Good evening, Chibita-kun.
[21:55] Chibi
    Oh, Totoko-chan! You came!
[21:58] Chibi
    Thanks!
[22:01] Toto
    Huh?!
[22:17] Toto
    So good!
[22:21] Nya
    So good!
[22:25] Toto
    Well, this is a surprise.
    I didn't think I'd see you drinking by yourself.
[22:30] Nyaa
    Yeah, sometimes. I guess I never told you.
[22:35] Toto
    Yeah, you never told me.
[22:37] Nya
    Well, because I never told you.
[22:42] Toto
    Oh, hey. So, how much do you usually drink?
[22:46] Toto
    How much alcohol?
[22:47] Nya
    Oh, you know. The usual.
[22:50] Toto
    Huh? What's usual?
[22:52] Nya
    I told you, usual.
[22:53] Toto
    And I'm asking you what you mean by "usual."
[22:55] Nya
    Usual.
[22:56] Toto
    "Usual" isn't an answer.
    I'm asking you how much.
[22:59] Nya
    The usual amount.
[23:01] Toto
    And I'm telling you, "usual"
    doesn't make any sense!
[23:04] Nya
    Huh?!
[23:06] Nya
    I'm telling you, it's usual!
[23:08] Toto
    Just tell me an actual amount!
[23:10] Nya
    Usually people can tell what
    a usual amount is!
[23:13] Toto
    Would you stop saying "usual"?!
    People usually don't say "usual" that much!
[23:18] Nya
    What?!
[23:19] Nya
    What?
[23:20] Toto
    What?!
[23:21] Chibi
    Hey, hey, hey, hey...
[23:23] Toto
    You wanna piece of me, dumbass?!
[23:25] Toto
    Come on, you dumbass!
[23:26] Nyaa
    Die!
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu
[23:32] Oso
    Heya! It's Osomatsu!
[23:34] Oso
    A hedge between keeps friendship green?
[23:37] Oso
    A hedge between keeps friendship green?
[23:41] Oso
    Yeah, I know. How long do you
    think I've been a sextuplet?
[23:45] Oso
    A hedge between keeps friendship green?
[23:49] Oso
    A hedge between keeps friendship...
SIGN    "Campaign Starting Now!" etc.
[23:51] Oso
    Yeah, yeah, I know.