E11 - Chibita's Revenge

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    "Chibita's Revenge"
[01:35] Chibi
    The hell?! You idjits! Damn it!
[01:37] Chibi
    Stop drinking! Stop it!
[01:39] Chibi
    Stop eating! Stop!
[01:42] Chibi
    Don't you dare pout like
    you're hungry, you idjits!
SIGN    5/21 Tab
[01:46] Chibi
    Look at how huge your tab is!
[01:49] Chibi
    You jerks keep eating and drinking
    for free every single time!
[01:51] Chibi
    I'm not serving you guys
    a single thing today!
[01:54] Chibi
    If you don't have any money,
    then scram! Right now!
[01:58] Oso
    You've got it all wrong, Chibita.
    There's a very deep reason for this.
[02:01] Choro
    Yeah. There's a reason behind this.
[02:04] Todo
    It's true that we probably shouldn't
    come here without any money,
[02:07] Todo
    but we just somehow end up here.
[02:09] Todo
    It's because
[02:10] Todo
    the oden you make is so good!
[02:14] Jyu
    Yeah, this oden is so good.
[02:16] Ichi
    Yup.
[02:18] Chib
    That good?
[02:19] Kara
    Why hasn't Micholin found this shop yet?
[02:22] Chib
    Micholin?!
[02:23] Oso
    You're a genius, Chibita.
[02:25] Choro
    Your oden is just too good.
[02:26] Jyushi
    Chef Chibita!
[02:27] Todo
    You're God's gift to oden.
[02:29] Jyushi
    Chef Chibita!
[02:30] Kara
    You've got nothing but talent!
[02:32] Ichi
    I'm jealous.
[02:34] Chibi
    Y-Y-You idjits. Stop flattering me.
[02:38] Chibi
    You're making me blush.
[02:39] Todo
    But we shouldn't.
[02:41] Todo
    I mean, our tab's huge.
    It's not fair to Chibita.
[02:45] Todo
    Let's go home for today.
[02:47] Some
    Yeah.
[02:50] Todo
    Come on. Let's just come another time.
SIGN    Hybrid Oden
[02:52] Chibi
    Hold it.
[02:55] Chibi
    There. Have a bite before you leave.
[02:57] All
    What?! Really?
[02:59] ---
    But what about the tab?
SIGN    We have WiFi
[03:01] Chibi
    Stop worrying about some
    stupid tab, you idjits.
[03:05] Chibi
    You can pay me when
    you have the money.
[03:09] All
    Thanks, Chibita!
[03:14] Chibi
    Don't forget about that tab, though.
[03:16] All
    Sure!
[03:18] Chibi
    Man, they're fast! It's all gone already!
[03:21] Some
    Thanks!
[03:23] Some
    So full!
[03:24] Some
    Thanks!
[03:27] Chibi
    Jeez, they're hopeless.
SIGN    Pachinko Ryuu
[03:38] Three
    We lost again.
[03:40] Chibi
    Hey.
[03:48] Three
    Of course we lost.
[03:51] Chibi
    Hey.
[03:58] Chibi
    The hell?! You idjits! Damn it!
[04:00] Chibi
    You guys won't pay me for
    all that food and drink,
[04:02] Chibi
    so why are you messing with
    pachinko and horse races?!
[04:04] Oso
    Y-You've got it all wrong, Chibita!
    There's a good reason behind this!
[04:07] Chibi
    I'm not falling for that again!
[04:11] Kara
    Are you okay, Choromatsu?
    I'm coming to save you, Choromatsu!
[04:14] Choro
    Then stop running, you Shittymatsu!
[04:19] Choro
    Get him off me! Hurry up
    and get Chibita off me!
[04:23] All
    Let go!
[04:25] Chibi
    Then pay up!
[04:27] Fou
    Let go!
[04:29] Chibi
    Pay up!
[04:30] Four
    Let go!
[04:30] Todo
    You can do it! Don't give up!
[04:32] Chibi
    Pay up!
[04:33] Four
    Let go!
[04:35] Chibi
    Pay up!
[04:36] Four
    Let go!
[04:55] Kara
    Chibita, are you all right?
[04:58] Oso
    Sorry. Did we pull out your hair?
[05:17] Choro
    U-Um, we really will pay
    that tab sometime soon.
[05:22] Jyu
    Yeah, we will.
[05:24] Ichi
    W-We'll be leaving now.
[05:26] Todo
    Sorry, Chibita!
[06:11] Ichi
    What? It's already this late?
[06:15] Ichi
    What's with the weather? It's insane.
[06:24] Oso
    Man, that was some good sleep.
    We probably shouldn't live like this.
[06:28] Oso
    It's not like I don't feel guilty at all.
[06:33] Todo
    It's still not working.
[06:35] Oso
    What's wrong?
[06:36] Todo
    Oh, Osomatsu-niisan.
    Something weird's going on.
[06:39] Oso
    Weird?
[06:40] Todo
    My cell phone hasn't been connecting.
[06:42] Todo
    For some reason it says no service.
SIGN    No Service
[06:44] Todo
    I wonder if I dropped it somewhere.
[06:47] Choro
    The TV's being weird, too.
[06:53] Jyushi
    And the lights.
[06:57] Jyu
    They keep doing that.
[07:01] Oso
    Oh, yeah. Where are Mom and Dad?
[07:03] Jyushi
    They're gone.
[07:05] Oso
    Gone?
[07:06] Kara
    Ichimatsu, too. When I woke up,
    he was nowhere to be found.
[07:09] Oso
    Huh? Wh-What's up with that?
[07:17] Oso
    What the hell?
[07:20] Kara
    Hey, look!
[07:31] Choro
    I-Ichimatsu!
[07:33] Jyushi
    Ichimatsu-niisan!
[07:36] Todo
    What is this?! What's going on?
[07:39] Kara
    It must be Chibita.
[07:41] Kara
    He's finally out for revenge.
[07:44] Oso
    Chibita? I mean, a lot happened yesterday,
    but he doesn't need to go this far...
[07:49] Jyushi
    Nii-san!
[07:55] Choro
    W-We need to close all the windows
    and doors! He'll come again!
[07:58] Choro
    We can't let him in the house! Hurry!
[08:11] Kara
    There.
[08:12] Kara
    He shouldn't be able to get in now.
[08:15] Todo
    We should be fine as long
    as we don't go outside.
[08:17] Kara
    Yeah.
[08:28] Todo
    H-How long do we have to stay like this?
[08:36] Todo
    Choromatsu-niisan.
[08:37] Choro
    Huh?
[08:38] Todo
    Don't you need to go to the bathroom?
[08:40] Choro
    Huh? Where'd that come from?
[08:42] Choro
    You're the one who needs to go.
[08:44] Oso
    What? Totty, you need
    to go to the bathroom?
[08:46] Oso
    Sure. Go right ahead.
[08:48] Kara
    Since you're telling him to go ahead,
[08:51] Kara
    I think you just proved you
    need to go, too, Osomatsu.
[08:55] Jyu
    I gotta go pee.
[08:58] Four
    What?!
[08:59] Jyu
    What?!
[08:59] Todo
    You have to pee? Then go right ahead!
[09:02] Jyu
    I didn't say that.
[09:02] Todo
    Uh, you totally did.
[09:04] Jyu
    Did not.
[09:05] Kara
    It's all right, Jyushimatsu.
    Don't worry about us.
[09:07] Jyu
    I didn't say that!
[09:09] Kara
    All right, then. Majority rules.
[09:11] Kara
    Let's point to who we think
    should go to the bathroom first.
[09:15] Kara
    Ready, and...
[09:17] Kara
    Why?! How did I get picked,
    with the way things were going?!
[09:21] Choro
    Well, being picked at a time like this
[09:23] Choro
    is basically Karamatsu's reason for living.
[09:25] Kara
    Brother, where did all your
    kindness from last week go?
[09:31] Oso
    Never mind. I'm not going to the bathroom.
[09:33] Oso
    I didn't need to go anyway.
[09:35] Jyu
    I-I don't need to go, either.
[09:38] Todo
    I don't, either.
[09:39] Choro
    Same.
[09:40] Kara
    M-M-M-Me, too.
[09:51] Oso
    There, there. It's not scary, Osomatsu.
[09:55] Oso
    See? It's totally fine.
[10:06] Oso
    Yup, not scary at all.
    All the entrances are blocked.
[10:14] Oso
    I mean, even if I was attacked, I'd win.
[10:16] Oso
    I'm a really good fighter.
[10:20] Oso
    Scary! This is so scary!
[10:22] Oso
    What the hell?! This is pissing me off!
[10:56] Oso
    Okay, I'm gonna head back for now.
[10:59] Choro
    What the hell are you doing?
[11:03] Choro
    You're insanely freaked out. How pathetic.
[11:06] Todo
    You okay?
[11:13] Jyushi
    Aw, and I was going to surprise you.
[11:18] Jyushi
    Boeh!
[11:21] Choro
    Come on, cut that out.
[11:23] Choro
    He's going to die.
[11:27] Oso
    Huh? Where's Karamatsu?
SIGN    Just you wait, sextuplets!
[11:37] Todo
    Wh-What's going on? How?
[11:41] Choro
    He's here.
SIGN    Just you wait, sextuplets!
[11:43] Choro
    Chibita's already in the house.
SIGN    I'm so pissed! You idiots!
SIGN    Revenge
[11:51] Choro
    Todomatsu!
[11:53] Choro
    Hey! What are you doing?!
[11:55] Todo
    What do you think?
    I'm getting out of the house!
[11:57] Jyu
    Totty!
[11:57] Choro
    No! It's safer staying in the
    house with everyone else!
[12:00] Oso
    Totty!
[12:01] Todo
    Let go!
[12:14] Chibi
    Matsu hunting, Matsu hunting, so much fun.
[12:20] Chibi
    The purple Matsu got it in the mouth.
[12:26] Chibi
    The blue Matsu got it in the ears.
[12:32] Chibi
    Which Matsu will it be next? The hell?
[13:28] Totty
    Wh-What the heck is this?!
[13:30] Totty
    What the heck is this?!
[14:05] Todo
    Osomatsu-niisan!
[14:21] Choro
    W-Wait!
[14:23] Choro
    Wait!
SIGN    Iyami
[14:25] Oso
    Iyami!
[14:26] Choro
    Open up, Iyami!
[14:28] Jyushi
    Iyami!
[14:31] Oso
    Iyami!
[14:31] Iyami
    Wh-What is it, Ichimatsu?
[14:33] Oso
    I'm Osomatsu, but let us in!
[14:36] Iyami
    Why?
[14:36] Choro
    Just hurry and let us in!
[14:38] Jyushi
    Hurry!
[14:39] Oso
    Come on, please! If we stay
    out here, we're going to die!
[14:42] Iyami
    Oh, I see. Scram.
[14:44] Choro
    Uh, we're going to die!
[14:45] Iyami
    Scram.
[14:46] Jyushi
    We're gonna die!
[14:47] Iyami
    Scram!
[14:48] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[14:49] Iyami
    No one said you could come in! Scram!
[14:54] Iyami
    Chibita is out to get you?
    That's very unfortunate.
[14:57] Choro
    This isn't funny!
[14:59] Jyushi
    Iyami, do you have any weapons?
    Like missiles or bombs?
[15:02] Iyami
    Give it up. The moment Chibita decided
    to come after you, you lot were finished.
[15:07] Choro
    Don't say that!
[15:09] Oso
    Help us come up with a plan!
[15:11] Oso
    We're pals, aren't we? Come on!
[15:13] Uggo
    Who is that, Iyami-chan?
    Hurry up and tell them to leave.
[15:21] Iyami
    You guys are hopeless.
    Me will let you stay here, just for tonight.
[15:24] Iyami
    Once it's morning, you need to scram.
[15:26] Three
    Iyami!
[15:28] Oso
    We really are best buds!
[15:31] Choro
    Seriously, thank you!
[15:32] Jyu
    Iyami!
[15:42] Iyami
    Me just did another good deed.
[15:45] Iyami
    You must be hungry.
    Me will order some take-out.
[15:49] Oso
    Thank goodness.
[15:50] Choro
    We're saved!
[15:52] Jyushi
    Iyami's so nice.
[15:54] Oso
    Yeah. Iyami's actually a kind soul...
[15:59] Three
    L-Like hell he is!
[16:04] Chibi
    Matsu hunting, Matsu hunting, so much fun.
[16:09] Chibi
    The purple Matsu got it in the mouth.
[16:15] Chibi
    The blue Matsu got it in the ears.
[16:18] Iyami
    Go right ahead.
[16:21] Chibi
    The pink Matsu got it in the nose.
[16:26] Chibi
    Which Matsu will it be next? The hell?
[16:40] Oso
    W-Wait, Chibita. Calm down!
[16:42] Choro
    Let's talk this out! Okay?
[16:43] Jyushi
    We're childhood friends!
    Childhood friends!
[16:45] Oso
    Why are you so mad, anyway?
    Because we didn't pay the tab?
[16:49] Oso
    Because we plucked your hair out?
    It'll just grow back anyw—
[16:52] Chibi
    You idjit!
[16:57] Chibi
    This hair...
[16:58] Choro
    I-It's in a frame!
[17:01] Chibi
    This one hair... was my final bastion.
[17:06] Chibi
    Since you pulled it out...
[17:09] Chibi
    I'm just another completely bald person!
[17:16] Choro
    Uh, I'm pretty sure you were before—
[17:18] Chibi
    You thought it yesterday, didn't you?!
    That I was completely bald!
[17:23] Oso
    Actually, not just yesterday...
[17:25] Jyushi
    Honestly, we thought that
    ever since we met you...
[17:27] Chibi
    You idjits! Damn it!
[17:30] Chibi
    This might be funny to you,
[17:32] Chibi
    but this is so shocking to me
    that my world has basically ended!
[17:36] Chibi
    So...
[17:38] Chibi
    I'm going to kill you idjits!
[17:40] Oso
    Nothing we say is going to help us now.
[17:42] Choro
    Yeah.
[17:51] Oso
    Huh?
[17:56] Oso
    Save me!
[17:58] Choro
    Hey! That's messed up!
[17:59] Oso
    Please!
[18:00] Jyushi
    Stop it! Let go!
[18:02] Both
    Here you go!
[18:03] Oso
    You bastards betrayed me!
    You're terrible people!
[18:06] Choro
    You have the nerve to say that?!
[18:19] Chibi
    Do you guys remember?
    My head's as hard as a rock!
[18:23] Chibi
    Since we're childhood friends,
    I'm sure you know I hold grudges!
[18:27] Chibi
    You also know how resilient I am...
[18:49] Chibi
    And you know that I never
    forget to repay my debts!
[19:02] Chibi
    You could never beat me
    one-on-one, you idjit.
SIGN    Cut
[19:08] Chibi
    Looks like you're the last one, Jyushimatsu.
[19:12] Chibi
    You're the one
[19:13] Chibi
    who pulled out my last hair, aren't you?
SIGN    Cut
[19:18] Chibi
    You didn't say anything because
    you thought you'd get in trouble.
[19:21] Chibi
    But I knew.
[19:25] Chibi
    You've got some nerve, you idjit.
    I'm not holding back!
[19:53] Jyushi
    Boeba!
[19:57] Jyushi
    What just happened?
SIGN    One more time, in slow motion
[20:29] Jyushi
    Boeba!
[20:32] Jyushi
    What just happened?
[20:37] Chibi
    I won!
[20:39] Chibi
    The hell?! You idjits! Damn it!
SIGN    Mustard
[20:50] Chibi
    All right, everyone, all together now.
[20:52] Chibi
    And a...
[20:53] Chibi
    Matsu hunting, Matsu hunting, so much fun.
[20:57] Chibi
    The purple Matsu got it in the mouth.
[21:01] Chibi
    The blue Matsu got it in the ears.
[21:05] Chibi
    The pink Matsu got it in the nose.
[21:09] Chibi
    The green Matsu got it in the eyes.
[21:13] Chibi
    The red Matsu got it in the ass.
[21:17] Chibi
    The yellow Matsu got it in
    his Matsu down below.
[21:21] Chibi
    And now it's complete, the hell?
[21:26] Dad
    Oh, dear. I have no idea what's going on,
[21:29] Dad
    but I'm sure this is some kind
    of punishment they deserved.
[21:33] Mom
    I'm sure it is.
[21:35] Dad
    Aloha!
[21:36] Mom
    Hawaii!
[21:37] Chibi
    That's what you get.
[21:39] Toto
    Hey, it's baldy!
[21:41] Chibi
    Who you callin' baldy, you idjit?! Dam—
[21:44] Chibi
    Oh, Totoko-chan!
[21:46] Toto
    How cute. You look so much better this way.
[21:49] Chibi
    What? R-Really?
[21:52] Toto
    Yeah. It suits you.
[21:55] Chibi
    Really? Yeah, I was just thinking
    I look better this way, too.
[22:01] Chibi
    It was pretty half-assed,
    just having one hair left.
[22:05] Chibi
    Of course being completely bald is better.
[22:07] Toto
    Yeah, you've got good taste, Chibita-kun.
[22:10] Chibi
    Thanks! Man, now I'm all popular.
[22:14] Chibi
    What am I gonna do?
SIGN    Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    "The Eitarou Family" etc.
[23:49] Ichi
    I want to fart next time.
[23:52] Jyu
    I also want to let it all hang out.