E22 - Overseas Vacation

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    
    "Overseas Vacation"
[00:05] All
    Hawaii! Hawaii! Hawaii! Hawaii!
[00:12] Toto
    Yay, Hawaii!
[00:15] Chibi
    All right, you idjits!
[00:16] Dayon
    I'm so excited!
[00:20] Choro
    Are we allowed such extravagance?
    We're going to get punished for this.
[00:23] Both
    Punishment!
[00:26] Oso
    Man... The best thing in life is a rich friend.
[00:31] Kara
    Thank you, Hatabou!
[00:33] Toto
    Hatabou!
[00:53] Ichi
    Are we falling?!
[00:55] Kara
    We are!
[00:56] Jyu
    What's going on, Hatabou?!
[00:57] Oso
    Hatabou?
[00:58] Choro
    Damn it, Hatabou!
[01:00] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[01:29] Kara
    Huh?
[01:31] Kara
    What?!
[01:33] Kara
    Wh-Where are we?!
[03:12] Todo
    This isn't Hawaii... This isn't Hawaii...
    This isn't Hawaii... This isn't Hawaii...
[03:14] Chibi
    What are we going to do?
[03:17] Oso
    Man, I'm starving.
[03:19] Jyu
    I'm thirsty.
[03:23] Deka
    There's trouble!
[03:25] Deka
    I can't find Dayon anywhere!
[03:27] Choro
    What?!
[03:31] Kara
    And so, rather than enjoying
    a vacation in Hawaii,
[03:35] Kara
    we were forced into trying to
    survive on a deserted island.
[03:40] Iya
    Sheh! Sheh!
[03:44] Iya
    Sheh! Sheh! Sheh! Sheh! Sheh!
[03:47] Toto
    I'm so hungry.
[03:49] Oso
    Totoko-chan!
[03:49] Choro
    Totoko-chan!
[03:50] Oso
    What do you want?
[03:51] Choro
    What do you want? Tell us!
[03:54] Toto
    Well... I want some fruit.
[03:56] Oso
    Fruit! What kind?
[03:58] Choro
    What kind?
[03:58] Oso
    That?
[03:59] Toto
    Nope.
[04:00] Choro
    That?
[04:01] Toto
    Nope.
[04:02] Toto
    What I want is...
[04:06] Toto
    that.
[04:33] Toto
    You okay?
[04:36] Chibi
    Hey, you jerks! The hell are
    you doing, you idjits?!
[04:40] Chibi
    I told you guys to write "SOS" with those!
[04:43] Jyu
    SOS?
[04:45] Ichi
    Oh, that's what he meant.
[04:52] Chibi
    Not "OSO," "SOS"!
[04:56] Chibi
    Why are you guys the letters?!
[04:58] Chibi
    Take this seriously, you idjits!
[05:02] Todo
    A deserted island, huh?
[05:04] Todo
    I'm finished...
[05:08] Todo
    Dekapan? What's wrong?
[05:11] Deka
    I can't find Dayon.
[05:14] Todo
    Look over there.
[05:18] Deka
    That's—
[05:23] Todo
    He's probably dead.
    You should just give up.
[05:26] Deka
    How can you say such a thing?
[05:27] Todo
    Uh, that pretty much confirms he's dead.
[05:30] Deka
    You can't lose hope!
[05:32] Todo
    There isn't any hope.
[05:33] Deka
    There is!
[05:34] Todo
    There isn't!
[05:35] Todo
    We're just going to die anyway!
    There's no way I can survive here!
[05:40] Todo
    Dekapan!
[05:44] Deka
    I'll protect you.
[05:47] Todo
    Gross.
[05:56] Iyami
    Sheh.
[05:57] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[06:12] Iyami
    Fueeeh!
[06:13] Sign
    Fueeeeeeeeh!
SIGN    Fueeeeeeeeh!
[06:22] Jyu
    It's not lighting...
[06:23] Ichi
    It's no use...
[06:34] Chibi
    Hey!
[06:37] Ichi
    There we go.
[06:39] Jyu
    We did it.
[06:40] Chibi
    The hell?!
[06:43] Kara
    Hey, stop fighting! We have to
    help each other out right now!
[06:49] Kara
    Everyone continued their
    meaningless quarrels.
[06:52] Kara
    They all forgot their compassion.
[07:16] Kara
    However, our last hope still remained...
[07:20] Kara
    A raft to escape this island.
[07:23] Kara
    We would all get on
    and leave the island.
[07:26] Kara
    And then, one day...
[07:30] Kara
    We'd kill Hatabou!
[07:32] Kara
    Our desire to kill Hatabou
    brought us all together!
[07:42] Kara
    But...
[07:47] Oso
    Iyami!
[07:50] Iya
    There's no way we'd all fit
    on this tiny raft! See ya!
[07:59] Bg
    Hey!
[08:00] Bg
    Iyami!
[08:01] Bg
    Iyami!
[08:03] Oso
    Behind you! Iyami, behind you!
[08:05] Deka
    Behind you!
[08:08] Iya
    Behind me?
[08:09] Iya
    Sh-Sheeeh!
[08:19] Kara
    It was then that we realized
[08:21] Kara
    it'd be impossible to leave this island.
[08:24] Kara
    All that remained was for us to die.
[08:34] Kara
    I wonder how much time passed...
[08:37] Kara
    But we were still alive.
[08:42] Kara
    We adapted to life on the island
    and became stronger.
[08:54] Kara
    Each of us evolved in different ways.
[09:00] Choro
    Oh, hey, Totoko-chan.
[09:04] Toto
    Begone!
[09:05] Choro
    Huh?
SIGN    Oden
[09:13] Todo
    I guess no one's responded yet...
[09:17] Todo
    No one's answering...
[09:20] Todo
    I wonder if the signal's just weak here...
[09:24] Oso
    The hell? I'm not getting any balls at all.
[09:26] Oso
    What the heck?
SIGN    Dayon's Grave
[09:56] Kara
    And we established a bartering system.
[10:08] Ichi
    I got some new ones in.
[10:12] Choro
    Hurry up and gimme! Gimme!
[10:16] Kara
    That's right... we had acquired peace.
[10:27] Toto
    A bird! There's a bird!
[10:52] Oso
    So good!
[10:53] Choro
    It is!
[10:56] Kara
    My family, let us share
    and understand each other!
[11:01] Kara
    I've had enough of pointless fighting!
[11:03] Kara
    Being selfish is prohibited!
    This is true happiness!
[11:10] Kara
    It was because of my kind,
    caring nature that everyone was happy.
[11:19] Kara
    Until that incident.
[11:23] Todo
    I'm so full.
[11:25] Kara
    I'm gonna go take a piss.
[11:32] Kara
    Th-This is...
[11:34] Kara
    Why?! Seriously? Yes!
[11:40] Choro
    Karamatsu?
[11:42] Choro
    What's up? Did you find something?
[11:45] Kara
    Nope...
[11:45] Todo
    Let us see it. We have a rule to share
    whenever we find anything, right?
[11:52] Todo
    Hey, come on, now.
[11:53] Ichi
    Hey!
[11:55] Ichi
    That's toilet paper, isn't it?
[11:59] Ichi
    Why do you have that?
[12:04] Kara
    My bad.
[12:06] Choro
    He ran!
[12:07] Ichi
    Come back here, Shittymatsu!
[12:08] Todo
    Shittymatsu!
[12:14] Toto
    There's toilet paper!
[12:22] Kara
    I'm not giving it to anyone!
    I'm the one who found it!
[12:25] Kara
    Now I can finally wipe my ass
    with soft, pillowy paper!
[12:28] Kara
    I'm so done with wiping my ass
    with hard or scratchy leaves!
[12:32] Oso
    Come on, don't do this!
[12:34] Choro
    We made a promise to share
    everything equally!
[12:37] Kara
    Don't be so naïve! You guys just
    want it for yourselves, too!
[12:40] Kara
    I'm fully aware
[12:42] Kara
    that your asses have also
    surpassed their limits!
[12:51] Oso
    Damn it, Totoko!
[12:53] Choro
    Totoko!
[12:57] Toto
    Damn it, Shittypan!
[12:58] Todo
    Shittypan!
[13:32] Chibi
    The toilet paper's mine!
[13:35] Chibi
    Y-You're...
[13:37] Chibi
    Iyami!
[13:41] Chibi
    H-How, you idjit?! How did you...
[13:46] Iyami
    Me has awakened...
[13:49] Chibi
    Awakened?
[13:51] Iyami
    Hunger, thirst, loneliness...
[13:54] Iyami
    I endured all of those hardships and
    managed to surpass my physical limits.
[14:02] Iyami
    What awaited me beyond that was yoga...
[14:05] Iyami
    The power of yoga... It's no longer possible
    for any of you to capture me again.
[14:18] Oso
    Damn it! He can even displace his organs?
[14:32] Choro
    The hell is that?! You can't be serious!
[14:37] Kara
    Over there!
[14:42] Ichi
    He disappeared?!
[14:43] Oso
    Damn it! He can even teleport?!
[14:48] Iya
    This belongs to me.
[14:51] Chibi
    Hold it!
[14:53] Chibi
    Iyami... It looks like you've
    pissed me off for real.
[15:00] Chibi
    After having to survive out here,
    I finally understand, too.
[15:04] Chibi
    The most powerful power in the world...
[15:06] Chibi
    It's...
[15:08] Chibi
    the power of the wild!
[15:10] Chibi
    Behold!
[15:13] Kara
    Unbelievably, after Iyami,
    Chibita had also awakened.
[15:25] Todo
    I-Is that a leopard?
    Is he turning into a leopard?
[15:30] Todo
    Or not.
[15:36] Todo
    A gorilla! It's a gorilla!
[15:39] Todo
    Or not!
[15:44] Todo
    A wolf!
[15:45] Todo
    Or not! What the hell are
    you trying to do, Chibita?!
[15:54] Chibi
    You're finished, you idjit!
[15:57] Todo
    The hell is that?! What kind of animal is that?!
[16:00] Iyami
    S-So fast! Me can't dodge!
[16:11] Chibi
    The hell?!
[16:13] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[16:19] Chib
    By the way, I still have two forms left.
[16:25] Toto
    Even I...
[16:26] All
    Totoko-chan!
[16:28] Toto
    Even I figured it out...
[16:30] Toto
    After having to live this shitty lifestyle,
[16:34] Toto
    I understood how much I
    appreciated my parents...
[16:36] Toto
    The happiness of living at my parents' house...
[16:38] Toto
    When I realized that, the origin within me...
[16:42] Toto
    My fishmonger blood has awakened!
[16:45] Kara
    Then even Totoko-chan awakened!
[16:52] Toto
    A fish for you... and a fish for me!
[16:57] Toto
    Anglerfish, red spotted grouper, salmon!
[16:59] Toto
    DHA and EPA are overflowing...
    My blood flows so smoothly!
[17:03] Toto
    Make sure you eat the skin, too!
[17:05] Toto
    In the name of fishkind, I'll kill you all!
[17:08] Six
    So cute!
[17:10] Choro
    Holy shit! You're so cute, Totoko-chan!
[17:12] Toto
    I'll show you how terrifying
    the ocean can be!
[17:14] Toto
    Barnacle Attack!
[17:20] Toto
    Sea Cucumber Splash!
[17:22] Toto
    Sea Slug Bomber!
[17:25] Chib
    Y-You idjit! Damn it!
[17:28] Choro
    She looks super cute,
    but her attacks are gross!
[17:31] Todo
    They didn't have anything to do with fish.
[17:33] Oso
    I-I don't think I can beat her!
[17:36] Jyu
    Leave it to me!
[17:38] All
    Jyushimatsu!
[17:38] Todo
    Jyushimatsu-niisan!
[17:40] Jyu
    This is the power that's awakened within me.
[17:45] Jyu
    Play ball!
[17:46] Jyu
    Dream of Field!
[17:54] Ichi
    Th-That's...
[17:55] Toto
    I-It can't be!
[17:57] Kara
    Jyushimatsu had awakened, too.
[18:00] Kara
    He wanted to play baseball.
    He wanted to play an actual game.
[18:02] Kara
    Those passionate feelings...
[18:05] Todo
    I-It's the nine!
[18:06] Choro
    The nine are here!
[18:08] Kara
    Yes. He managed to summon
    the legendary nine.
[18:15] Ump
    Strike!
SIGN    Portland
[18:17] Ump
    Safe!
[18:18] All
    There it goes!
[18:20] Iyami
    Sheeeh...
SIGN    MVP Prize
[18:23] Jyu
    It's a home run!
SIGN    MVP Prize
[18:26] Kara
    Baseball is fun.
SIGN    Dayon's Grave
[18:29] Deka
    Everything is wrong!
[18:31] Deka
    You're the only one who
    can quell this chaos!
[18:33] Deka
    Please give me your strength!
[19:06] Oso
    What the hell is that?!
[19:09] Deka
    I've awakened along with my friend!
[19:12] Deka
    He died, but has reawakened!
[19:30] Choro
    Damn it!
[19:34] Oso
    All right... we have to work together!
[19:36] Oso
    Now's the time that the six of us
    have to combine our powers!
[19:39] Oso
    Let's go!
[19:40] All
    Yeah!
[19:41] Oso
    Monozygotic technique!
[19:43] All
    Monozygotic technique!
[19:45] Oso
    Matsusion!
[19:46] All
    Matsusion!
[19:48] Kara
    And then the time finally came...
    when we also awakened!
[19:53] Pamatsu
    Perfectmatsu! Permatsu for short!
[19:57] Pamatsu
    I feel the urge!
[20:11] Pamatsu
    This is the end!
[20:16] Pamatsu
    All this passion we've built up
    living so long on this island...
[20:21] Pama
    See if you can handle it!
[20:22] Pama
    Su... pe... ru... ha!
[20:42] Hata
    Hawaii's amazing, jo.
[20:44] Hata
    I'll just have to enjoy Hawaii
    enough for everyone who died, jo.
[20:52] Hata
    Jo...
[20:55] Iya
    The toilet paper's mine!
[20:57] Chibi
    Let me wipe my ass!
[20:58] Deka
    Let me wipe my ass!
[21:00] Pama
    We'll kill you!
[21:18] Kara
    I-I did it!
[21:22] Kara
    Now I can finally wipe my a—
[21:29] Toto
    I did it...
[21:31] Toto
    I won! Yay!
[21:35] Toto
    What?! Wait, you're kidding me!
SIGN    Single
[21:39] Toto
    It's single-ply?!
[21:41] Toto
    It's not double-ply?!
SIGN    End
SIGN    Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu
[23:25] Oso
    Okay, just do as I say.
[23:28] Oso
    First, close your eyes.
[23:31] Oso
    Take a deep breath...
[23:36] Oso
    and breathe out slowly...
[23:39] Oso
    Once you're relaxed,
    visualize in your right eye...
[23:43] Oso
    Dayon's face.
[23:45] Oso
    Visualize Iyami in your left eye.
SIGN    "The Late Night Himatsuya" "Dayon and Dayon" "Iyami-san Is Troubled"
[23:50] Oso
    Yup. Those two are the stars next week.