E24 - Totoko's Huge Panic / Letter

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Fat
    Huh?
SIGN    "Totoko's Huge Panic"
[01:34] Toto
    I'm Totoko!
[01:36] Toto
    As you can see, I'm super cute!
    I'm totally different from commoners!
[01:40] Toto
    I mean...
[01:42] Guy
    Hey, Totoko-chan! You're as cute as ever today.
[01:45] Lady
    That's an idol for you.
    Just look at that perfect face.
[01:48] Toto
    See? Everyone says so.
[01:50] Toto
    I just love getting attention!
[01:54] Guy
    Sorry, Amateur-san. Actual stars are
    going to be shooting a drama here,
[01:58] Guy
    so no amateurs can go past this point.
[02:03] Guy
    What, real celebrities?!
[02:05] Lady
    They're on a completely different level!
[02:21] Toto
    Huh?
[02:22] Toto
    What was I doing?
[02:25] Toto
    Hmph! Like I care!
[02:28] Toto
    I'm just going to get myself more fans.
[02:31] Nya
    Oh. Yowai Totoko.
[02:33] Toto
    Oh. Hashimoto Nyaa.
[02:35] Nya
    Good work.
[02:36] Toto
    Good work!
[02:38] Toto
    Getting your stuff together?
    Are you retiring or something?
[02:41] Nya
    Yup. I didn't tell you yet,
    but I'm getting married.
[02:45] Toto
    Married?
[02:47] Guy
    Hey.
[02:48] Guy
    I'm the dude she's marrying who's made
    quite a bit of money in the IT field.
[02:53] Guy
    Come on, Nyaa-chan.
    It's almost time for our flight.
[02:56] ---
    Nyan!
[02:57] Nya
    Later, Yowai Totoko. Good luck with
    the whole underground idol thing.
[03:09] Toto
    Huh? What was I doing?
[03:12] Toto
    Hmph! Like I care!
[03:15] Toto
    There are still a lot of people I'm better than.
[03:18] Busu
    Totoko!
[03:20] Toto
    Busumi?
[03:21] Toto
    What's up, Busumi? I don't think
    I've seen you since we graduated.
[03:24] Busu
    I had a baby.
[03:26] Busu
    Here, hold it a sec.
[03:27] Busu
    Oh, and there are other people
    who have gotten married
[03:30] Busu
    and had kids that are starting school now.
[03:32] Busu
    Some own houses, and some go on vacations
    with their families during break...
[03:50] Toto
    Something's wrong with me lately.
    I wake up and realize I've been beating up tuna.
[03:55] Dad
    Totoko, that's called jealousy.
[03:58] Toto
    Jealousy?
[03:59] Dad
    Envy and spite.
[04:01] Toto
    What's that?
[04:02] Dad
    Y-You don't know?
[04:04] Toto
    It's the first I've heard of it.
[04:05] Dad
    What?
[04:06] Mom
    Totoko, do you know what a "complex" is?
[04:09] Toto
    The band that sang "Be My Baby"?
[04:10] Mom
    No, Totoko.
[04:12] Dad
    How do I put this... You were
    envious of another person.
[04:17] Dad
    So you got really stressed.
    Do you understand?
[04:22] Toto
    I don't really get it.
[04:24] Toto
    Envious? Do I really feel that way?
[04:29] Toto
    I mean, I'm still cute...
[04:32] Toto
    I have plenty of followers who
    compliment me all the time.
[04:35] Toto
    For example...
[04:36] Toto
    Him, and him, him, him, him, and him.
[04:41] Toto
    Not to mention him, him, him, him, and him...
[04:44] Toto
    Huh?
[04:45] Toto
    Huh?! Could it be that I only have scum around me?
[04:49] Tot
    And I'm one of those crazies
    who's happy about that?
[04:51] Toto
    No way! Huh?
[04:54] Toto
    Huh?! What?!
[04:57] Toto
    What, what?
[05:02] Toto
    Crap!
[05:03] Toto
    This ain't right, Totoko! This really ain't good!
[05:06] Toto
    Why?!
[05:07] Toto
    How did you become such a bottom
    feeder? Anyway, this isn't good.
[05:11] Toto
    You're gonna end up a failure at this rate!
SIGN    Matchmaking Agency
[05:14] Toto
    And that's why I came here. I want to
    find someone great and bounce back.
[05:19] Toto
    Please!
[05:20] Lady
    Uh, I'm not sure what to do
    when you say that so frankly...
[05:24] Lady
    A-All right. Let's start by hearing
    what you want in a partner.
[05:28] Toto
    Let's see...
[05:30] Toto
    Someone who's kind, good-looking,
    funny, tall, a sportsman, smart,
[05:35] Toto
    who doesn't cheat, who's serious,
    fashionable, hygienic,
[05:38] Toto
    has the same values as me,
    and who's good at cooking,
[05:41] Toto
    good at driving, has great handwriting,
[05:43] Toto
    and has dated fewer than
    four people, but isn't a virgin,
[05:46] Toto
    who makes more than 50 million yen
    a year, has a villa, and... Oh, yeah!
[05:49] Toto
    I'd like him to be an oil magnate!
SIGN    We're Closed
    for the Day
[05:53] Toto
    Huh?
[05:54] Toto
    What the hell?! Ugh!
[05:57] Oso
    W-W-We've got trouble!
[06:00] Oso
    Hey, you guys! Totoko-chan's...
[06:03] Oso
    Totoko-chan's looking for a husband!
[06:05] Five
    Looking for a husband?!
[06:06] Oso
    Apparently he has to be an oil magnate!
[06:09] Five
    An oil magnate?!
[06:11] Sive
    Hurry!
[06:13] Oso
    Hey, don't try to get a headstart!
[06:18] Toto
    What? Am I not supposed
    to want an oil magnate?
[06:22] Toto
    Is that a crime? Which crime?
[06:24] Toto
    Being annoying? Yeah, sorry.
[06:26] Toto
    But I want to be better
    than everyone around me.
[06:29] Toto
    I want everyone to tell me I have a great life.
[06:31] Toto
    Doesn't everyone feel that kind of pressure?
[06:34] Toto
    Though, to be honest,
    I sort of live to be complimented.
[06:38] Toto
    Oh, I have to get ready for tomorrow.
[06:41] Toto
    Bye.
[06:42] Chibi
    Uh...
[06:43] Six
    Hup, hup, hup, hup!
SIGN    Winner Takes All
    Battle Royale
    
    
    The Matchmaking Party
[06:52] Toto
    All right, this is it.
[06:54] Toto
    I wonder where the oil magnate is.
[06:59] Norm
    Ah, nice to meet you.
[07:01] Toto
    Nice to meet you!
[07:02] Norm
    I-Is it okay if I introduce myse—
[07:04] Toto
    Are you an oil magnate?
[07:05] Norm
    Huh?
[07:05] Toto
    Do you own an oil field?
[07:07] Norm
    An oil field? No, I don't...
[07:13] Bald
    Um, I may not look it, but I'm 28.
    Y-You're not into bald guys, right?
[07:19] Toto
    I'm totally fine with that!
[07:20] Bald
    Really?!
[07:21] Toto
    As long as you're an oil magnate.
[07:22] Bald
    Huh? What are you...
[07:27] Fat
    Oink, oink, I'm fat. Is that okay?
[07:30] Toto
    Is your face so shiny because
    you rubbed oil on it?!
[07:33] Fat
    Of course not...
[07:38] Toto
    Man...
[07:40] Toto
    I guess they're not so easy to find. How boring.
[07:44] Lady
    Hey, you.
[07:46] Lady
    Have you found the oil
    magnate you're looking for?
[07:48] Toto
    No, not yet.
[07:50] Lady
    What? Not yet?
[07:51] Lady
    Are you stupid?
[07:52] Lady
    You're never going to find one.
[07:54] Two
    There's always at least
    one of her type around.
[07:56] Two
    Just because she's a bit cute, she has no substance
    and just keeps aging. That's gotta hurt.
[08:00] Ladies
    Gotta hurt!
[08:01] Lady
    You've only got your twenties.
[08:03] Toto
    Why are commoners so ugly?
[08:08] Toto
    But...
[08:09] Toto
    Are there really no oil magnates?
[08:12] Toto
    I really want an oil magnate.
[08:13] Six
    Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup...
[08:20] Toto
    Well, whatever.
[08:22] Toto
    I guess I'll go home for today.
[08:24] Oil
    Pardon me.
[08:26] Oil
    Is this where the matchmaking
    party is taking place?
[08:30] Toto
    Yes...
[08:31] Oil
    Thank goodness. I was late
    because of some oil trades.
[08:35] Toto
    Huh? Um, would you happen to be a...
[08:39] Oil
    Your long wait is over. I'm an oil magnate.
[08:44] Toto
    S-See?! There totally was an oil magnate!
[08:49] Toto
    Right? I was actually right to not give up!
[08:51] Toto
    They exist!
[08:52] Toto
    And they even look for wives sometimes!
[08:55] Toto
    Thank goodness I didn't give up!
[09:00] Toto
    I was right to ignore the commoners!
[09:04] Toto
    All right! I'm so happy!
[09:08] Toto
    Take that!
[09:17] Oil
    Totoko...
[09:18] Toto
    O-Oil Magnate...
[09:21] Oil
    May I?
[09:23] Toto
    Yes.
[09:30] Toto
    Oil Magnate? What's wrong?
[09:31] Oil
    Y-You reek of fish!
[09:33] Toto
    What?
[09:35] Oil
    I can't! You reek of fish so bad, I seriously can't!
[09:40] Toto
    What? What the hell?
[09:42] Toto
    If we're talking about smells, you reek of oil!
[09:47] Oil
    Boeh!
[09:48] Toto
    Don't underestimate fish!
[09:52] Toto
    And so, the "Find an Oil Magnate
[09:55] Toto
    and Become Better than Everybody Else"
    plan failed before I knew it.
[10:00] Toto
    And the "has no substance and just keeps aging,
    that's gotta hurt" comment someone made
[10:06] Toto
    oddly lingered in my heart.
[10:09] Toto
    I've made up my mind.
[10:10] Toto
    I'm going to stop living this facade,
    and live my life as my true self... So...
[10:17] Toto
    Dad! Mom!
[10:19] Toto
    I'm going to school in Singapore to
    learn the language and find myself!
[10:23] Dad
    Huh? Going abroad to learn the language?
[10:25] Mom
    So suddenly?
[10:26] Toto
    I'm going to reset my old self! I'm going to grow!
SIGN    Hybrid Oden
    
    
    Cards Accepted
SIGN    End
[10:44] Choro
    "To everyone.
[10:46] Choro
    This is the first time I've ever written
    a letter, so I'm a bit nervous.
[10:53] Choro
    'What's this out of the blue?' 'Gross.'
[10:55] Choro
    'Is your self-awareness rising again?'
    I'm sure you all might think that,
[10:59] Choro
    but this is my first time
    living apart from all of you.
[11:03] Choro
    I'm sort of embarrassed to say it face-to-face,
[11:06] Choro
    so I thought I'd write a letter.
[11:10] Choro
    When I finally found a job..."
[11:11] Todo
    Choromatsu-niisan, we're ready.
[11:14] Choro
    Oh, right.
SIGN    "Letter"
SIGN    Matsu
[11:27] Jyu
    Choromatsu-niisan, congrats on your
    new job, you king of base-stealing!
[11:30] All
    Congrats, you king of base-stealing!
[11:32] All
    Yay!
[11:33] Todo
    But seriously, congrats,
    you king of base-stealing.
[11:35] Jyu
    You ran so hard!
[11:37] Choro
    Wait, it's seriously sounding like I stole a base.
[11:39] Choro
    We're celebrating my new job, right?
[11:41] Kara
    Congratulations, brother.
[11:43] Cho
    Close, too close! Gross!
[11:45] Kara
    This is a present from me.
SIGN    Karamatsu
[11:47] Cho
    Ugh, here we go. What is this?
[11:51] Todo
    Whoa, it's not painful at all!
    Though it's painful in a different way.
[11:55] Kara
    You wanted this, didn't you, brother?
[11:59] Choro
    Uh, yeah. Thanks.
[12:01] Choro
    I did want it.
[12:03] Todo
    It's a miracle! I was sure it'd be a
    crappy tanktop with his face on it.
[12:07] Choro
    Actually, Totty, there's something similar...
[12:10] Oso
    Pass me the soy sauce, Todomatsu.
[12:12] Todo
    But it should be nice and easy, since
    it's a company Dad's friend works at.
[12:16] Choro
    Yeah.
[12:16] Oso
    Pass me the soy sauce.
[12:18] Dad
    But don't get a big head. This is your first job.
[12:21] Dad
    Make sure you're prepared.
[12:23] Todo
    You've got a bigger head than anyone, Dad.
[12:25] Oso
    Todomatsu?
[12:27] Mom
    You'll be living in a dorm starting tomorrow.
[12:29] Mom
    I won't be able to call you a NEET anymore.
[12:31] Choro
    Uh, maybe you should call me by my name.
[12:34] Todo
    Or Fappymatsu.
[12:35] Choro
    Hey!
[12:36] Oso
    Todomatsu.
[12:40] Oso
    Todomatsu!
[12:44] Oso
    I've been calling you! The soy sauce.
[12:47] Todo
    Oh, sorry.
[12:53] Jyu
    Oh! I have a present for you, too.
[12:56] Jyu
    Here, an autographed bat!
SIGN    To Choromatsu-niisan
    Jyushimatsu
[12:58] Choro
    It's your own autograph?
[13:00] Todo
    And this is from me.
[13:01] Choro
    Am I a girl going on a trip?!
[13:02] Dad
    And this is from me.
[13:04] Choro
    Dad?!
[13:04] Mom
    And this is from me.
[13:06] Choro
    Mom?!
[13:07] Kara
    Here's one more from me.
[13:09] Jyu
    Me, too.
[13:10] Todo
    Same.
[13:10] Dad
    Your dad's not gonna lose.
[13:12] Mom
    Neither is your mom.
[13:13] Choco
    Oh, thanks, Ichima— Huh?!
[13:17] Choro
    What the hell is this?! It's creepy!
[13:18] Ichi
    Think of that as me.
[13:20] Ichi
    And what is that supposed to accomplish?
[13:23] Bg Some
    This, too.
[13:23] ---
    No, wait...
[13:23] Bg Some
    And this.
[13:24] Bg Some
    Here.
[13:25] Choro
    Okay, that's enough!
[13:27] Choro
    I can't take all of this!
    And half of it is just junk!
[13:30] Dad
    Whew, the house is a lot cleaner now.
[13:32] Mom
    Much better.
[13:33] Choro
    This isn't about getting rid of your garbage!
[13:43] Choro
    Thanks.
[13:46] Choro
    I'll be fine.
[13:50] Choro
    I'll do my best.
[13:58] Ichi
    Can I say something?
[14:00] Ichi
    Can we stop with this atmosphere?
    I can't deal with it.
[14:04] Todo
    True. This isn't like us.
[14:06] ---
    Not like us at all!
[14:10] Kara
    This is a happy occasion.
[14:11] Kara
    Let's all drink, brothers... No, family!
[14:16] All
    Yay!
[14:18] Jyu
    Look! Look, look!
[14:19] Ichi
    Hey, Jyushimatsu.
[14:20] Jyu
    Look! Look, look!
[14:21] Oso
    Ow. Hey, stop it, Jyushimatsu!
[14:28] Oso
    I said that hurts!
[14:36] Oso
    I said that hurts, damn it!
[14:40] Todo
    Hey! What are you doing?!
[14:43] Oso
    You made me drop my sushi, Jyushimatsu!
[14:46] Jyu
    S-Sorry...
[14:48] Kara
    Stop it.
[14:52] Todo
    H-Huh?
[14:54] Oso
    Wh-What are you—
[14:56] Oso
    Hey, let go of me, Shittymatsu! Hey!
[14:59] Oso
    I'll kill you! I said let go!
[15:08] Choro
    But...
[15:09] Ichi
    It's fine.
[15:11] Todo
    Are you okay, Jyushimatsu-niisan?
[15:18] Jyu
    I'm fine!
[15:19] Jyu
    Hustle, hustle! Muscle, muscle!
[15:23] ---
    Hustle, hustle!
[16:20] Iya
    Why?! Why does me have to do
    something so troublesome?!
[16:23] Iya
    Ugh, so annoying!
[16:29] Iya
    You found a job?
[16:31] Iya
    It won't last. You'll just give up halfway, as usual.
[16:36] Iya
    People don't change that easily. Give up hope!
[16:54] Iya
    You're really throwing me off...
[16:57] Iya
    Sheeeh!
[17:07] Todo
    Okay, I'm set.
[17:08] Jju
    Totty!
[17:10] Kra
    You'd better keep in touch.
[17:12] Todo
    Yeah.
[17:12] Ichi
    Why not reconsider? Old apartments
    have bugs, ghosts, and monsters.
[17:17] Todo
    Quit trying to stop me!
[17:20] Todo
    First, I'm gonna live on my own.
    That's where I'm starting.
[17:25] Todo
    It's probably better
[17:28] Todo
    if we're not together.
[17:47] Chibi
    Huh? Let you live with me?
SIGN    Oden Girls
    Collection
[17:49] Chibi
    You know I can't let you do that
    out of the blue, you idjit.
[17:53] Kara
    P-Please, Chibita.
[17:54] Kara
    At this rate, we sextuplets... No, I'll be ruined.
[17:59] Kara
    I want to change! I want to get out of this!
[18:02] Kara
    So please...
[18:12] Kara
    I'm off.
[18:14] Chibi
    It's all about guts, you idjit!
[18:25] Jyu
    Hello, this is Matsuno.
[18:28] Jyu
    Yes, that's me.
[18:31] Jyu
    What? Really?!
[18:33] ---
    Okay! I'll do my best!
[18:35] Jyu
    Yay! I got a part-time job!
[18:38] Jyu
    Professor Dekapan said he'd rent
    me a room so I can live on my own!
[18:41] Both
    You're our family heirloom!
[18:54] Guy
    Hey, newbie!
[18:55] Choro
    Y-Yes?
[18:57] Chro
    When I got my job, the first thing
    that popped into my head
[19:02] Choro
    was all of their faces.
[19:05] Choro
    I think they all probably know why.
SIGN    Let's Live A Happy Life!
[19:10] Choro
    But I quickly got rid of those feelings.
SIGN    Matsuno Karamatsu
[19:15] Choro
    No, that's not true... I wanted to believe in them.
[19:21] Choro
    This is better in order for
    all of us to move forward.
[19:27] Choro
    I had to believe in them.
[19:32] Ichi
    I'm leaving the house, too.
[19:40] Ichi
    This is... This is how it should be,
[19:44] Ichi
    I think.
[19:55] Ichi
    See ya.
[20:19] Toto
    Hey, Osomatsu-kun!
[20:21] Toto
    Want to go on a date? I feel like
    going all-out and having some fun!
[20:26] Toto
    I quit being an idol,
[20:28] Toto
    and the studying abroad thing
    didn't last because I got homesick.
[20:31] Toto
    Everything just feels like such a bother!
[20:34] Toto
    So I was thinking...
SIGN    Slide to unlock
[21:51] Mom
    Osomatsu.
[21:53] Mom
    There's a letter for you.
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Next Time on Osomatsu-san
[23:32] Oso
    I knew somewhere deep down that
    we couldn't live like this forever.
[23:37] Kara
    For our own sakes...
[23:38] Choro
    ...we need to look forward...
[23:40] Ichi
    ...and face it...
[23:41] Jyu
    ...with everything we have...
[23:43] Totty
    ...to become stronger.
SIGN    "Osomatsu-san, Such As It Was"
[23:44] Oso
    Next time, the final episode:
    "Osomatsu-san, Such As It Was."