# E24 - Totoko's Huge Panic / Letter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G63VME2XY/totokos-huge-panic--letter)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] Fat**
Huh?
***SIGN*** "Totoko's Huge Panic"
**[01:34] Toto**
I'm Totoko!
**[01:36] Toto**
As you can see, I'm super cute!
I'm totally different from commoners!
**[01:40] Toto**
I mean...
**[01:42] Guy**
Hey, Totoko-chan! You're as cute as ever today.
**[01:45] Lady**
That's an idol for you.
Just look at that perfect face.
**[01:48] Toto**
See? Everyone says so.
**[01:50] Toto**
I just love getting attention!
**[01:54] Guy**
Sorry, Amateur-san. Actual stars are
going to be shooting a drama here,
**[01:58] Guy**
so no amateurs can go past this point.
**[02:03] Guy**
What, real celebrities?!
**[02:05] Lady**
They're on a completely different level!
**[02:21] Toto**
Huh?
**[02:22] Toto**
What was I doing?
**[02:25] Toto**
Hmph! Like I care!
**[02:28] Toto**
I'm just going to get myself more fans.
**[02:31] Nya**
Oh. Yowai Totoko.
**[02:33] Toto**
Oh. Hashimoto Nyaa.
**[02:35] Nya**
Good work.
**[02:36] Toto**
Good work!
**[02:38] Toto**
Getting your stuff together?
Are you retiring or something?
**[02:41] Nya**
Yup. I didn't tell you yet,
but I'm getting married.
**[02:45] Toto**
Married?
**[02:47] Guy**
Hey.
**[02:48] Guy**
I'm the dude she's marrying who's made
quite a bit of money in the IT field.
**[02:53] Guy**
Come on, Nyaa-chan.
It's almost time for our flight.
**[02:56] ---**
Nyan!
**[02:57] Nya**
Later, Yowai Totoko. Good luck with
the whole underground idol thing.
**[03:09] Toto**
Huh? What was I doing?
**[03:12] Toto**
Hmph! Like I care!
**[03:15] Toto**
There are still a lot of people I'm better than.
**[03:18] Busu**
Totoko!
**[03:20] Toto**
Busumi?
**[03:21] Toto**
What's up, Busumi? I don't think
I've seen you since we graduated.
**[03:24] Busu**
I had a baby.
**[03:26] Busu**
Here, hold it a sec.
**[03:27] Busu**
Oh, and there are other people
who have gotten married
**[03:30] Busu**
and had kids that are starting school now.
**[03:32] Busu**
Some own houses, and some go on vacations
with their families during break...
**[03:50] Toto**
Something's wrong with me lately.
I wake up and realize I've been beating up tuna.
**[03:55] Dad**
Totoko, that's called jealousy.
**[03:58] Toto**
Jealousy?
**[03:59] Dad**
Envy and spite.
**[04:01] Toto**
What's that?
**[04:02] Dad**
Y-You don't know?
**[04:04] Toto**
It's the first I've heard of it.
**[04:05] Dad**
What?
**[04:06] Mom**
Totoko, do you know what a "complex" is?
**[04:09] Toto**
The band that sang "Be My Baby"?
**[04:10] Mom**
No, Totoko.
**[04:12] Dad**
How do I put this... You were
envious of another person.
**[04:17] Dad**
So you got really stressed.
Do you understand?
**[04:22] Toto**
I don't really get it.
**[04:24] Toto**
Envious? Do I really feel that way?
**[04:29] Toto**
I mean, I'm still cute...
**[04:32] Toto**
I have plenty of followers who
compliment me all the time.
**[04:35] Toto**
For example...
**[04:36] Toto**
Him, and him, him, him, him, and him.
**[04:41] Toto**
Not to mention him, him, him, him, and him...
**[04:44] Toto**
Huh?
**[04:45] Toto**
Huh?! Could it be that I only have scum around me?
**[04:49] Tot**
And I'm one of those crazies
who's happy about that?
**[04:51] Toto**
No way! Huh?
**[04:54] Toto**
Huh?! What?!
**[04:57] Toto**
What, what?
**[05:02] Toto**
Crap!
**[05:03] Toto**
This ain't right, Totoko! This really ain't good!
**[05:06] Toto**
Why?!
**[05:07] Toto**
How did you become such a bottom
feeder? Anyway, this isn't good.
**[05:11] Toto**
You're gonna end up a failure at this rate!
***SIGN*** Matchmaking Agency
**[05:14] Toto**
And that's why I came here. I want to
find someone great and bounce back.
**[05:19] Toto**
Please!
**[05:20] Lady**
Uh, I'm not sure what to do
when you say that so frankly...
**[05:24] Lady**
A-All right. Let's start by hearing
what you want in a partner.
**[05:28] Toto**
Let's see...
**[05:30] Toto**
Someone who's kind, good-looking,
funny, tall, a sportsman, smart,
**[05:35] Toto**
who doesn't cheat, who's serious,
fashionable, hygienic,
**[05:38] Toto**
has the same values as me,
and who's good at cooking,
**[05:41] Toto**
good at driving, has great handwriting,
**[05:43] Toto**
and has dated fewer than
four people, but isn't a virgin,
**[05:46] Toto**
who makes more than 50 million yen
a year, has a villa, and... Oh, yeah!
**[05:49] Toto**
I'd like him to be an oil magnate!
***SIGN*** We're Closed
for the Day
**[05:53] Toto**
Huh?
**[05:54] Toto**
What the hell?! Ugh!
**[05:57] Oso**
W-W-We've got trouble!
**[06:00] Oso**
Hey, you guys! Totoko-chan's...
**[06:03] Oso**
Totoko-chan's looking for a husband!
**[06:05] Five**
Looking for a husband?!
**[06:06] Oso**
Apparently he has to be an oil magnate!
**[06:09] Five**
An oil magnate?!
**[06:11] Sive**
Hurry!
**[06:13] Oso**
Hey, don't try to get a headstart!
**[06:18] Toto**
What? Am I not supposed
to want an oil magnate?
**[06:22] Toto**
Is that a crime? Which crime?
**[06:24] Toto**
Being annoying? Yeah, sorry.
**[06:26] Toto**
But I want to be better
than everyone around me.
**[06:29] Toto**
I want everyone to tell me I have a great life.
**[06:31] Toto**
Doesn't everyone feel that kind of pressure?
**[06:34] Toto**
Though, to be honest,
I sort of live to be complimented.
**[06:38] Toto**
Oh, I have to get ready for tomorrow.
**[06:41] Toto**
Bye.
**[06:42] Chibi**
Uh...
**[06:43] Six**
Hup, hup, hup, hup!
***SIGN*** Winner Takes All
Battle Royale
The Matchmaking Party
**[06:52] Toto**
*All right, this is it.*
**[06:54] Toto**
*I wonder where the oil magnate is.*
**[06:59] Norm**
Ah, nice to meet you.
**[07:01] Toto**
Nice to meet you!
**[07:02] Norm**
I-Is it okay if I introduce myse—
**[07:04] Toto**
Are you an oil magnate?
**[07:05] Norm**
Huh?
**[07:05] Toto**
Do you own an oil field?
**[07:07] Norm**
An oil field? No, I don't...
**[07:13] Bald**
Um, I may not look it, but I'm 28.
Y-You're not into bald guys, right?
**[07:19] Toto**
I'm totally fine with that!
**[07:20] Bald**
Really?!
**[07:21] Toto**
As long as you're an oil magnate.
**[07:22] Bald**
Huh? What are you...
**[07:27] Fat**
Oink, oink, I'm fat. Is that okay?
**[07:30] Toto**
Is your face so shiny because
you rubbed oil on it?!
**[07:33] Fat**
Of course not...
**[07:38] Toto**
Man...
**[07:40] Toto**
I guess they're not so easy to find. How boring.
**[07:44] Lady**
Hey, you.
**[07:46] Lady**
Have you found the oil
magnate you're looking for?
**[07:48] Toto**
No, not yet.
**[07:50] Lady**
What? Not yet?
**[07:51] Lady**
Are you stupid?
**[07:52] Lady**
You're never going to find one.
**[07:54] Two**
There's always at least
one of her type around.
**[07:56] Two**
Just because she's a bit cute, she has no substance
and just keeps aging. That's gotta hurt.
**[08:00] Ladies**
Gotta hurt!
**[08:01] Lady**
You've only got your twenties.
**[08:03] Toto**
Why are commoners so ugly?
**[08:08] Toto**
But...
**[08:09] Toto**
Are there really no oil magnates?
**[08:12] Toto**
I really want an oil magnate.
**[08:13] Six**
Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup...
**[08:20] Toto**
Well, whatever.
**[08:22] Toto**
I guess I'll go home for today.
**[08:24] Oil**
Pardon me.
**[08:26] Oil**
Is this where the matchmaking
party is taking place?
**[08:30] Toto**
Yes...
**[08:31] Oil**
Thank goodness. I was late
because of some oil trades.
**[08:35] Toto**
Huh? Um, would you happen to be a...
**[08:39] Oil**
Your long wait is over. I'm an oil magnate.
**[08:44] Toto**
*S-See?! There totally was an oil magnate!*
**[08:49] Toto**
*Right? I was actually right to not give up!*
**[08:51] Toto**
*They exist!*
**[08:52] Toto**
*And they even look for wives sometimes!*
**[08:55] Toto**
*Thank goodness I didn't give up!*
**[09:00] Toto**
*I was right to ignore the commoners!*
**[09:04] Toto**
*All right! I'm so happy!*
**[09:08] Toto**
*Take that!*
**[09:17] Oil**
Totoko...
**[09:18] Toto**
O-Oil Magnate...
**[09:21] Oil**
May I?
**[09:23] Toto**
Yes.
**[09:30] Toto**
Oil Magnate? What's wrong?
**[09:31] Oil**
Y-You reek of fish!
**[09:33] Toto**
What?
**[09:35] Oil**
I can't! You reek of fish so bad, I seriously can't!
**[09:40] Toto**
What? What the hell?
**[09:42] Toto**
If we're talking about smells, *you* reek of oil!
**[09:47] Oil**
Boeh!
**[09:48] Toto**
Don't underestimate fish!
**[09:52] Toto**
*And so, the "Find an Oil Magnate*
**[09:55] Toto**
* and Become Better than Everybody Else"*
* plan failed before I knew it.*
**[10:00] Toto**
* And the "has no substance and just keeps aging,*
* that's gotta hurt" comment someone made*
**[10:06] Toto**
*oddly lingered in my heart.*
**[10:09] Toto**
*I've made up my mind.*
**[10:10] Toto**
* I'm going to stop living this facade,*
* and live my life as my true self... So...*
**[10:17] Toto**
Dad! Mom!
**[10:19] Toto**
I'm going to school in Singapore to
learn the language and find myself!
**[10:23] Dad**
Huh? Going abroad to learn the language?
**[10:25] Mom**
So suddenly?
**[10:26] Toto**
I'm going to reset my old self! I'm going to grow!
***SIGN*** Hybrid Oden
Cards Accepted
***SIGN*** End
**[10:44] Choro**
*"To everyone.*
**[10:46] Choro**
* This is the first time I've ever written*
* a letter, so I'm a bit nervous.*
**[10:53] Choro**
*'What's this out of the blue?' 'Gross.'*
**[10:55] Choro**
* 'Is your self-awareness rising again?'*
* I'm sure you all might think that,*
**[10:59] Choro**
* but this is my first time*
* living apart from all of you.*
**[11:03] Choro**
*I'm sort of embarrassed to say it face-to-face,*
**[11:06] Choro**
*so I thought I'd write a letter.*
**[11:10] Choro**
*When I finally found a job..."*
**[11:11] Todo**
Choromatsu-niisan, we're ready.
**[11:14] Choro**
Oh, right.
***SIGN*** "Letter"
***SIGN*** Matsu
**[11:27] Jyu**
Choromatsu-niisan, congrats on your
new job, you king of base-stealing!
**[11:30] All**
Congrats, you king of base-stealing!
**[11:32] All**
Yay!
**[11:33] Todo**
But seriously, congrats,
you king of base-stealing.
**[11:35] Jyu**
You ran so hard!
**[11:37] Choro**
Wait, it's seriously sounding like I stole a base.
**[11:39] Choro**
We're celebrating my new job, right?
**[11:41] Kara**
Congratulations, brother.
**[11:43] Cho**
Close, too close! Gross!
**[11:45] Kara**
This is a present from me.
***SIGN*** Karamatsu
**[11:47] Cho**
Ugh, here we go. What is this?
**[11:51] Todo**
Whoa, it's not painful at all!
Though it's painful in a different way.
**[11:55] Kara**
You wanted this, didn't you, brother?
**[11:59] Choro**
Uh, yeah. Thanks.
**[12:01] Choro**
I did want it.
**[12:03] Todo**
It's a miracle! I was sure it'd be a
crappy tanktop with his face on it.
**[12:07] Choro**
Actually, Totty, there's something similar...
**[12:10] Oso**
Pass me the soy sauce, Todomatsu.
**[12:12] Todo**
But it should be nice and easy, since
it's a company Dad's friend works at.
**[12:16] Choro**
Yeah.
**[12:16] Oso**
Pass me the soy sauce.
**[12:18] Dad**
But don't get a big head. This is your first job.
**[12:21] Dad**
Make sure you're prepared.
**[12:23] Todo**
You've got a bigger head than anyone, Dad.
**[12:25] Oso**
Todomatsu?
**[12:27] Mom**
You'll be living in a dorm starting tomorrow.
**[12:29] Mom**
I won't be able to call you a NEET anymore.
**[12:31] Choro**
Uh, maybe you should call me by my name.
**[12:34] Todo**
Or Fappymatsu.
**[12:35] Choro**
Hey!
**[12:36] Oso**
Todomatsu.
**[12:40] Oso**
Todomatsu!
**[12:44] Oso**
I've been calling you! The soy sauce.
**[12:47] Todo**
Oh, sorry.
**[12:53] Jyu**
Oh! I have a present for you, too.
**[12:56] Jyu**
Here, an autographed bat!
***SIGN*** To Choromatsu-niisan
Jyushimatsu
**[12:58] Choro**
It's your own autograph?
**[13:00] Todo**
And this is from me.
**[13:01] Choro**
Am I a girl going on a trip?!
**[13:02] Dad**
And this is from me.
**[13:04] Choro**
Dad?!
**[13:04] Mom**
And this is from me.
**[13:06] Choro**
Mom?!
**[13:07] Kara**
Here's one more from me.
**[13:09] Jyu**
Me, too.
**[13:10] Todo**
Same.
**[13:10] Dad**
Your dad's not gonna lose.
**[13:12] Mom**
Neither is your mom.
**[13:13] Choco**
Oh, thanks, Ichima— Huh?!
**[13:17] Choro**
What the hell is this?! It's creepy!
**[13:18] Ichi**
Think of that as me.
**[13:20] Ichi**
And what is that supposed to accomplish?
**[13:23] Bg Some**
This, too.
**[13:23] ---**
No, wait...
**[13:23] Bg Some**
And this.
**[13:24] Bg Some**
Here.
**[13:25] Choro**
Okay, that's enough!
**[13:27] Choro**
I can't take all of this!
And half of it is just junk!
**[13:30] Dad**
Whew, the house is a lot cleaner now.
**[13:32] Mom**
Much better.
**[13:33] Choro**
This isn't about getting rid of your garbage!
**[13:43] Choro**
Thanks.
**[13:46] Choro**
I'll be fine.
**[13:50] Choro**
I'll do my best.
**[13:58] Ichi**
Can I say something?
**[14:00] Ichi**
Can we stop with this atmosphere?
I can't deal with it.
**[14:04] Todo**
True. This isn't like us.
**[14:06] ---**
Not like us at all!
**[14:10] Kara**
This is a happy occasion.
**[14:11] Kara**
Let's all drink, brothers... No, family!
**[14:16] All**
Yay!
**[14:18] Jyu**
Look! Look, look!
**[14:19] Ichi**
Hey, Jyushimatsu.
**[14:20] Jyu**
Look! Look, look!
**[14:21] Oso**
Ow. Hey, stop it, Jyushimatsu!
**[14:28] Oso**
I said that hurts!
**[14:36] Oso**
I said that hurts, damn it!
**[14:40] Todo**
Hey! What are you doing?!
**[14:43] Oso**
You made me drop my sushi, Jyushimatsu!
**[14:46] Jyu**
S-Sorry...
**[14:48] Kara**
Stop it.
**[14:52] Todo**
H-Huh?
**[14:54] Oso**
Wh-What are you—
**[14:56] Oso**
Hey, let go of me, Shittymatsu! Hey!
**[14:59] Oso**
I'll kill you! I said let go!
**[15:08] Choro**
But...
**[15:09] Ichi**
It's fine.
**[15:11] Todo**
Are you okay, Jyushimatsu-niisan?
**[15:18] Jyu**
I'm fine!
**[15:19] Jyu**
Hustle, hustle! Muscle, muscle!
**[15:23] ---**
Hustle, hustle!
**[16:20] Iya**
Why?! Why does me have to do
something so troublesome?!
**[16:23] Iya**
Ugh, so annoying!
**[16:29] Iya**
You found a job?
**[16:31] Iya**
It won't last. You'll just give up halfway, as usual.
**[16:36] Iya**
People don't change that easily. Give up hope!
**[16:54] Iya**
You're really throwing me off...
**[16:57] Iya**
Sheeeh!
**[17:07] Todo**
Okay, I'm set.
**[17:08] Jju**
Totty!
**[17:10] Kra**
You'd better keep in touch.
**[17:12] Todo**
Yeah.
**[17:12] Ichi**
Why not reconsider? Old apartments
have bugs, ghosts, and monsters.
**[17:17] Todo**
Quit trying to stop me!
**[17:20] Todo**
First, I'm gonna live on my own.
That's where I'm starting.
**[17:25] Todo**
It's probably better
**[17:28] Todo**
if we're not together.
**[17:47] Chibi**
Huh? Let you live with me?
***SIGN*** Oden Girls
Collection
**[17:49] Chibi**
You know I can't let you do that
out of the blue, you idjit.
**[17:53] Kara**
P-Please, Chibita.
**[17:54] Kara**
At this rate, we sextuplets... No, *I'll* be ruined.
**[17:59] Kara**
I want to change! I want to get out of this!
**[18:02] Kara**
So please...
**[18:12] Kara**
I'm off.
**[18:14] Chibi**
It's all about guts, you idjit!
**[18:25] Jyu**
Hello, this is Matsuno.
**[18:28] Jyu**
Yes, that's me.
**[18:31] Jyu**
What? Really?!
**[18:33] ---**
Okay! I'll do my best!
**[18:35] Jyu**
Yay! I got a part-time job!
**[18:38] Jyu**
Professor Dekapan said he'd rent
me a room so I can live on my own!
**[18:41] Both**
You're our family heirloom!
**[18:54] Guy**
Hey, newbie!
**[18:55] Choro**
Y-Yes?
**[18:57] Chro**
* When I got my job, the first thing*
* that popped into my head*
**[19:02] Choro**
*was all of their faces.*
**[19:05] Choro**
*I think they all probably know why.*
***SIGN*** Let's Live A Happy Life!
**[19:10] Choro**
*But I quickly got rid of those feelings.*
***SIGN*** Matsuno Karamatsu
**[19:15] Choro**
*No, that's not true... I wanted to believe in them.*
**[19:21] Choro**
* This is better in order for*
* all of us to move forward.*
**[19:27] Choro**
*I had to believe in them.*
**[19:32] Ichi**
I'm leaving the house, too.
**[19:40] Ichi**
This is... This is how it should be,
**[19:44] Ichi**
I think.
**[19:55] Ichi**
See ya.
**[20:19] Toto**
Hey, Osomatsu-kun!
**[20:21] Toto**
Want to go on a date? I feel like
going all-out and having some fun!
**[20:26] Toto**
I quit being an idol,
**[20:28] Toto**
and the studying abroad thing
didn't last because I got homesick.
**[20:31] Toto**
Everything just feels like such a bother!
**[20:34] Toto**
So I was thinking...
***SIGN*** Slide to unlock
**[21:51] Mom**
Osomatsu.
**[21:53] Mom**
There's a letter for you.
***SIGN*** To Be Continued
***SIGN*** Next Time on Osomatsu-san
**[23:32] Oso**
I knew somewhere deep down that
we couldn't live like this forever.
**[23:37] Kara**
For our own sakes...
**[23:38] Choro**
...we need to look forward...
**[23:40] Ichi**
...and face it...
**[23:41] Jyu**
...with everything we have...
**[23:43] Totty**
...to become stronger.
***SIGN*** "Osomatsu-san, Such As It Was"
**[23:44] Oso**
Next time, the final episode:
"Osomatsu-san, Such As It Was."