E5 - Osomatsu-san in the Summer

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    "Cicadas"
[00:23] Nanami
    Takkun...
[00:25] Takkun
    Nanami...
[00:27] Nanami
    I... worked really hard to make this.
[00:31] Nanami
    Please take it.
SIGN    Good Luck Charm
[00:33] Takkun
    Th-Thanks...
[00:45] Nanami
    Takkun... Take me to the Koushien!
[00:53] Takkun
    Nanami...
[00:56] Takkun
    I, Uebayashi Tatsuo,
[00:59] Takkun
    want you, Asaoka Nanami, to know...
[01:01] Nanami
    What? I can't hear you, Takkun.
[01:03] Nanami
    The cicadas are so loud
    that I can't hear you.
[01:05] Takkun
    I, Uebayashi Tatsuo...
[01:07] Nanami
    What?!
[01:07] Takkun
    I, Uebayashi Tatsuo...
[01:09] Nanami
    Say what?!
[01:09] Takkun
    I, Uebayashi Tatsuo, want you,
    Asaoka Nanami, to know...
[01:12] Nanami
    What?! I can't hear you at all!
[01:14] Takkun
    That I love you!
[01:15] Nanami
    Huh?
[01:15] Takkun
    I love you!
[01:17] Nanami
    Wha?!
[01:17] Takkun
    I said I love you!
[01:18] Nanami
    What?!
[01:19] Takkun
    I want you to go out with me!
[01:20] Nanami
    Huh?!
[01:21] Takkun
    Please be my girlfriend!
[01:22] Nanami
    Ugh. I can't hear you at all!
[01:25] Nanami
    Takkun, you idiot!
[01:27] Takkun
    Nanami!
SIGN    "Jyushimatsu
    Calisthenics"
[03:16] radio
    Raise your arms up high.
    We'll start with stretches!
[03:20] Radio
    One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
[03:21] Jyushi
    Hup!
[03:23] Jyushi
    Hup!
[03:25] Radio
    Now your arms and legs.
[03:26] Jyushi
    Hup!
[03:26] Radio
    One, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven, eight.
[03:28] Jyushi
    Hup!
[03:30] Jyushi
    Hup!
[03:30] Radio
    Two, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven, eight...
[03:33] Jyushi
    Hup!
[03:35] Jyushi
    Hup!
[03:35] ---
    Three, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven, eight...
[03:36] Jyushi
    Take that!
[03:39] Jyushi
    And that!
[03:40] Jyushi
    Hup, two!
[03:40] ---
    Four, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven...
[03:42] Jyushi
    Yeah, exercise!
[03:44] Radio
    Swing your arms.
[03:45] Radio
    One, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven, eight...
[03:50] Radio
    Two, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
[03:50] Jyushi
    How's that?
[03:53] Radio
    Next, chest exercises.
[03:54] Radio
    One, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven, eight...
[03:55] Jyushi
    Oh, man. Oh, man!
[03:59] Radio
    Two, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven, eight...
[03:59] Jyushi
    Boeh!
[04:01] Jyushi
    Boeh!
[04:03] Jyushi
    Boeh!
[04:03] ---
    Three, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven, eight...
[04:05] Jyushi
    Boehba!
[04:07] Jyushi
    Boehba!
[04:07] ---
    Four, two, three, four,
    five, six, seven...
[04:09] Jyushi
    Boehba!
[04:11] Radio
    Next, side stretches.
[04:12] Jyushi
    Boehba!
[04:13] Radio
    One, two, three...
SIGN    Well Done
[04:19] Jyushi
    Just 39 more days.
[04:21] Jyushi
    I'll do my best!
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    "Joozu"
SIGN    Look out for sharks!
SIGN    Beware of Sharks
SIGN    Danger! Sharks!
SIGN    No Swimming!
[05:13] Hata
    Joo...
[05:15] Hata
    zu.
[05:19] Jyushi
    Huh?
[05:27] Both
    Oh.
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    "It's Hot"
[05:36] Iyami
    It's hot...
[05:40] Iyami
    It's hot...
[05:43] Iyami
    It's hot...
[05:46] Iyami
    It's hot...
[05:49] Chibi
    Hey! Stop saying "It's hot" so much!
[05:52] Chibi
    You're making it worse!
[05:54] Chibi
    Hot!
[05:56] Iyami
    Chibita, we have no choice now.
[06:00] Chibi
    Oh, that. Whenever we're in trouble...
[06:04] Both
    ...we go see Professor Dekapan!
[06:08] Deka
    Unfortunately, my air conditioner is broken.
[06:12] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[06:12] Both
    But why?
[06:15] Dayon
    It wasn't me.
[06:17] Dayon
    I didn't touch it. Honest.
[06:27] Deka
    Well, no need to feel down.
    Summer is meant to be hot.
[06:31] Deka
    I believe you're meant to take
    in that heat and enjoy—
[06:35] Chibi
    You idjit!
[06:38] Deka
    Stop!
[06:39] Deka
    O-Okay! I'll make something good!
[06:44] Deka
    It's finished.
[06:45] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[06:48] Iyami
    It's so nice and cool!
[06:50] Chibi
    It's not hot at all! It's nice and cool!
[06:53] Both
    Yay!
[06:54] Iyami
    It's so cool!
[06:55] Chibi
    It's so cool, you idjit! Damn it!
[06:56] Deka
    Good, good.
[06:57] Iyami
    It's so cool, isn't it, Chibita?
[06:58] Dayon
    This is the ultimate VR!
[06:59] Chibita
    It's so cool, Iyami!
[07:05] Chibi
    This is the best, you idjit! It's heaven!
[07:10] Iyami
    It's so cool!
[07:12] Chibi
    So cool! Yay!
[07:14] Iyami
    It's so friggin' cool!
[07:16] Chibi
    It's cool, you idjit! Damn it!
[07:19] Chibi
    Yay!
[07:21] Iyami
    So cool!
[07:22] Chibi
    It's so cool!
[07:25] Iyami
    It's too cool!
[07:28] Chibi
    It's too cool!
[07:29] Iyami
    Sheeeh! It's so cool!
[07:30] Chibi
    It's cool, you idjit! Damn it!
[07:33] Iyami
    It's cool.
[07:34] Chibi
    It's cool, you idjit!
[07:38] Both
    So cool!
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    "Exiled"
[07:50] Girl
    What? Oh, really?
[07:53] Aida
    Hey, Totty.
[07:56] Sachiko
    Want to take a picture with us?
[07:58] Todo
    A picture? Sure!
[08:00] Sachiko
    Okay, here we go!
[08:02] Todo
    So very awesome!
[08:03] Sachi
    Okay, say cheese!
SIGN    He is a criminal. Please do not save him.
[08:16] Oso
    Exiled.
[08:17] Ichi
    Yup, exiled.
[08:18] Todo
    What?!
[08:18] Todo
    Hey! Hey, wait! Hey!
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    "Exiled 2"
[08:28] Aida
    Wow, a deserted island.
[08:32] Aida
    Wow, I've never been to
    a deserted island before.
[08:36] Sachi
    Hey, Totty, what are you doing? Hurry up.
[08:44] Sachi
    Hey, Totty, we're talking to you.
[08:46] Todo
    Yeah, I'll be right there.
[08:48] Todo
    Okay, looks like we're good.
    They wouldn't come this far...
[08:52] Todo
    This is amazing! Are we the only ones here?
[08:54] Todo
    Deserted islands are awesome!
[08:58] Todo
    Huh? What?!
SIGN    He is a criminal. Please do not save him.
[08:59] Todo
    Hey!
[09:01] Todo
    What?! Wait!
[09:02] Jyushi
    Exiled!
[09:03] Choro
    Yup, exiled.
[09:04] Kara
    Recite some Japanese poetry
    alone, or something.
[09:04] Todo
    W-Wait!
[09:05] Todo
    Hey! Hey!
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    "Exiled 3"
SIGN    Southern
[09:20] Aida
    Totty? Aren't you coming to the beach?
[09:22] Totty
    No. I'm never going near the ocean again.
[09:26] Aida
    Aww...
[09:27] Totty
    Sorry. Let's play on land next time.
[09:31] Totty
    Hey, I know. Wanna exchange
    contact information?
[09:33] Aida
    Sure.
[09:36] Todo
    Let's see... Oh, here we go.
[09:41] Todo
    Huh?
[09:42] Todo
    What?!
[09:44] Todo
    Come on!
[09:49] Todo
    Hey! Hey!
[09:51] Todo
    Hey!
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    "Fireworks"
[10:08] Oso
    Say, Choromatsu.
[10:10] Oso
    Wanna trade your grilled
    squid for my skewer
[10:12] Oso
    that had the grilled squid
    I finished eating on it?
[10:16] Choro
    When are the fireworks gonna start?
[10:18] Todo
    It's still not time?
[10:20] Jyushi
    Fireworks! Fireworks!
[10:21] Jyushi
    Yay!
[10:23] Oso
    Foo! Yeah!
[10:26] Announce
    Thank you for waiting.
[10:28] Announce
    Please enjoy the fireworks.
[10:42] Choro
    Oh, here it comes!
[10:44] Oso
    It's about time!
SIGN    Buzz Buzz Buzz Buzz Buzz Buzz
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    Summer Kamen
[11:55] Kara
    Summer Kamen!
[12:00] Girl
    It's so hot.
[12:01] Guy
    It is. Look, I'm sweating like crazy.
[12:04] Girl
    You're right.
SIGN    Young-Wife- Apartments
[12:10] Kara
    Nice summer!
[12:15] Guy
    I feel alive again!
[12:16] Kara
    Good summer!
[12:19] Boy
    Yay! I caught a rhinoceros beetle!
[12:20] Kid
    Awesome!
[12:21] Kara
    800 summer!
[12:24] Mom
    So close! Too bad.
[12:26] Kara
    Perfect summer!
[12:29] Man
    Look at your farmer's tan!
[12:31] Kara
    20,000 summer!
SIGN    Oh, Summer Vacation
[12:41] Kara
    Summer!
[12:44] ---
    It's summer!
[12:47] Kara
    Summer!
[12:52] Kara
    The name's Summer Kamen!
[12:54] Kara
    Every year when summer rolls around,
    I walk around town looking for summer,
[12:57] Kara
    inject even more summer,
[12:59] Kara
    and watch everyone enjoy summer even
    more while I enjoy the rest of summer.
[13:04] Kara
    That is me, summer.
[13:06] Kara
    Hmm? You don't understand?
[13:07] Kara
    You don't have to.
[13:09] Kara
    My season is here. Thank you.
[13:14] Kara
    Now, my problem is the spineless
    boys who live here.
[13:21] Jyushi
    It's hot...
[13:23] Jyushi
    I can't.
[13:25] Kara
    Oh, bad summer.
[13:28] Choro
    I love you, air conditioner.
[13:29] Kara
    Eleven summer.
[13:31] Totty
    This sucks. I don't want to get burnt.
[13:33] Kara
    Six summer.
[13:36] Ichi
    Drinking hot tea in an
    air-conditioned room...
[13:39] Kara
    No good summer.
[13:41] Oso
    Eating ramen in an air-conditioned
    room is great, too.
[13:44] Kara
    Oh, too bad summer.
[13:46] Both
    Shut up!
[13:48] Oso
    What's your deal, barging in here
    saying "summer, summer"?
[13:50] Oso
    It's creepy as hell.
[13:52] Ichimatsu
    Who the hell are you?
[13:54] Kara
    Me?
[13:56] Kara
    I'm Summer Kamen.
[13:57] Both
    Who?!
[13:59] Kara
    What's wrong with all of you?
    You're pathetic!
[14:01] Kara
    You're letting the heat
    of summer get to you!
[14:04] Choro
    I'm pretty sure it's your head
    that the heat got to.
[14:07] Kara
    Wow, wow, wow! 4,000 summer!
[14:10] Choro
    I don't get how this works.
    Why did he give me summers just now?
[14:14] Kara
    All of you lack summer! You need to
    inject more summer into your lives!
[14:17] Kara
    I'm telling you to brush up on your own
    summers for the impending real summer.
[14:22] Todo
    What are you talking about?
[14:23] Jyushi
    Get lost!
[14:24] Ichi
    Scram.
[14:25] todo
    What's so good about summer anyway?
[14:26] Choro
    It's hot, and you just sweat.
[14:27] Oso
    The beach gets crowded, too.
[14:29] Ichi
    Plus fireworks, packed trains...
[14:29] Kara
    Good grief. I guess I have no choice
    but to use this technique.
[14:30] Oso
    I hate it.
[14:31] Choro
    Hurry up and end, summer.
[14:32] Kara
    You tiny d*cks that lack
    summer... Take this!
[14:37] Kara
    Summer Flash!
[14:40] Kara
    Summer!
[14:42] Kara
    Summer!
[14:44] Kara
    Summer!
[14:47] Kara
    Oh, summer!
[14:49] Kara
    Changing Summer!
[15:03] Five
    It's summer!
[15:05] All
    Wow!
[15:08] All
    It's so fun!
[15:08] Kara
    Well? How do you like the rays? The location?
[15:09] Bg
    It's summer! It's summer!
[15:12] Kara
    Well?!
[15:13] Five
    Nice summer!
[15:15] Kara
    Hmm?
[15:15] Five
    Good summer!
[15:17] Kara
    What was that?
[15:19] Five
    King of Summer!
[15:22] Kara
    Good.
[15:23] Five
    Summer!
[15:26] Oso
    Thank you, Summer Kamen!
[15:28] Choro
    Now we can have a great summer.
[15:30] Totty
    Thanks!
[15:32] Kara
    Summer, summer is here.
[15:36] Kara
    Melt your brain, it's 2,000 summer.
[15:39] Kara
    Brush up on your own summer.
SIGN    Summer Kamen
[15:43] Kara
    Aah, 50,000 summer!
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    Summer Kamen
[15:48] Kara
    50,000, 50,000 summer!
[15:56] Toto
    It's summer!
[15:57] Toto
    It's the ocean! Yay!
SIGN    "Totoko in
    the Summer"
[16:03] Toto
    Oh, there they are!
[16:05] Toto
    Take that!
[16:08] Toto
    And that!
[16:13] Toto
    Snipe!
[16:15] Girl
    There!
[16:17] Toto
    Kaboom!
[16:18] Toto
    Not done yet!
[16:30] Toto
    It's summer!
[16:44] Toto
    Ah, I feel so much better.
SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu
SIGN    "This Year,
    We'll Finally..."
[17:02] Girl
    Hey!
[17:03] Girl
    Jeez.
[17:14] Oso
    Man, these sunglasses are so convenient.
[17:18] Choro
    They are. We're boldly staring at girls'
    boobs and butts, and no one's getting angry.
[17:25] Kara
    The most important factor in girl
    watching is calm, Choromatsu.
[17:31] Choro
    That's really helpful!
[17:32] Four
    Thanks!
[17:37] Kara
    I don't mind taking back my
    sunglasses right now, you know.
[17:41] Ichi
    Thanks!
[17:43] Oso
    Now then, which one should we choose?
[17:45] Choro
    Which girl should we pick?
[17:47] Oso
    What about her?
[17:48] Oso
    Isn't she cute?
[17:49] Todo
    She's super cute!
[17:50] Jyushi
    Cute!
[17:51] Oso
    And she's got huge boobs!
[17:52] Five
    Yeah.
[17:53] Oso
    She's with other girls,
    so she might not have a boyfriend.
[17:56] Five
    Yeah!
[17:56] Oso
    That's awesome!
[17:58] Five
    It is!
[17:59] Oso
    All right, someone go talk to her.
[18:07] Oso
    Man, these sunglasses are so convenient.
[18:10] Choro
    They are. We're boldly staring at girls'
    boobs and butts, and no one's getting angry.
[18:15] Totty
    Hang on. Are we stuck in some infinite loop?
[18:18] Totty
    You guys keep talking, but not acting.
[18:25] Oso
    All right, I'll go.
[18:27] Oso
    I'm gonna do this! The eldest is
    going to show you how it's done!
[18:30] Todo
    So cool!
[18:31] Choro
    Idiots are so amazing.
[18:33] Jyushi
    I'm not an idiot!
[18:34] Choro
    Uh, I wasn't talking about you.
[18:37] Choro
    Huh?
[18:50] Oso
    Man, talk about awesome.
[18:53] Five
    Hey!
[18:53] Oso
    They're all so plump.
SIGN    Fancy Ice
[18:55] Todo
    What are you doing?
[18:56] Oso
    So plump.
[18:57] Kara
    You're all talk. Pathetic.
[18:59] Oso
    Seriously, extremely plump.
[19:00] Choro
    Did you see some shrimp or something?!
[19:02] Choro
    Would you shut up about things being plump?!
[19:04] Oso
    Well, can you go do it?
    Stop acting all high and mighty.
[19:07] Choro
    No, no. I'm not interested
    in things like this.
[19:10] All
    Grr.
[19:11] Choro
    I mean, even if it worked out,
    it'd all be over once summer ended.
[19:14] Choro
    Since we're all adults here,
[19:16] Choro
    I don't see any point in pursuing
    pointless relationships like—
[19:19] Jyushi
    Up we go!
[19:23] Todo
    He went flying.
[19:24] Oso
    So, who's gonna go next?
[19:27] Kara
    Very well, I accept. I'll go round up
    all the Karamatsu girls on the beach!
[19:39] Ichi
    All right. I'll go.
[19:40] Five
    What?!
[19:42] Todo
    Wait, wait, wait, wait, what?
[19:44] Todo
    You're going to go, Ichimatsu-niisan?
[19:45] Ichi
    Yeah.
[19:46] Oso
    You don't need to push yourself like that.
[19:47] Kara
    Don't push yourself, Ichimatsu.
[19:49] Jyushi
    Ichimatsu-niisan.
[19:50] Todo
    Really, it's okay. We won't force you.
[19:52] Oso
    You don't have to go along with us.
[19:54] Kara
    I'm worried.
[19:55] Jyushi
    Ichimatsu-niisan.
[19:56] Todo
    Just sit down, okay? No, really.
[19:57] Ichi
    Shut up!
[19:59] Ichi
    Why am I the only one you treat like that?!
[20:01] Ichi
    Are you trying to be nice?
    It just pisses me off!
[20:03] Ichi
    I can be a man when it comes to it!
[20:06] Todo
    I-I'm sorry...
[20:07] Oso
    Don't get so angry.
[20:13] Both
    Now you're not gonna go?!
[20:14] Oso
    Really? You're not going after all that?!
SIGN    Hard Rock Kiyoshi
[20:16] Oso
    Why'd you get mad, then?!
[20:17] Ichi
    A guy like me is here at the beach in summer.
    You can't ask any more of me.
[20:22] Oso
    We know! That's why we tried to stop you!
[20:25] Kara
    Which means it's finally my turn, brothers!
[20:33] Oso
    Jyushimatsu?
[20:34] Oso
    You're going? Seriously?
[20:35] Todo
    Well, he is the dark horse out of all of us
[20:37] Todo
    who's actually had somewhat of a girlfriend.
[20:40] Ichi
    Is he going to show us his skills now?
[20:42] Kara
    Are you finally going to move forward
    to find a new love, Jyushimatsu?
[20:48] Kara
    You just needed to relieve
    yourself, Jyushimatsu?
[20:52] Todo
    I guess there's no other choice.
[20:53] Todo
    Totty, you'll just have to
    use the ace up your sleeve.
[20:56] Oso
    Huh?
[20:58] Todo
    Listen. If we keep trying this by one by one,
[21:01] Todo
    we virgin NEETs stand no chance
    against the summer beach.
[21:04] Totty
    We all have to go at once.
[21:05] Five
    All of us?!
[21:06] Totty
    That's right. The sextuplets push.
[21:08] Five
    Sextuplets push?!
[21:09] Todo
    That's our one and only weapon.
[21:11] Todo
    We flaunt the special trait we have
    that no one else has to draw interest.
[21:15] Todo
    I don't know if it'll make girls like us, though.
[21:16] Choro
    I see. So we're going to bet
    on our numbers, right, Sensei?
[21:20] Todo
    No. But it'll at least
    create an opportunity.
[21:24] Todo
    You guys ready?
[21:25] Five
    Yeah...
[21:27] Todo
    We're sextuplets!
[21:29] Choro
    We're sextuplets!
[21:31] Todo
    We have the same face!
[21:33] Both
    We have the same face!
[21:35] Todo
    We're sextuplets!
[21:37] Both
    We're sextuplets!
[21:39] Todo
    We're all sextuplets...
[21:40] Both
    ...with the same face!
[21:42] Oso
    Anyone want us?
[21:43] Guy
    Hey, what's up with those guys?
[21:44] Guy 2
    Aren't sextuplets a lot?
[21:46] Guy 2
    I've seen twins before,
    but they're sextuplets!
[21:48] Guy 2
    Isn't that a lot?
[21:55] Girl
    Can we take a picture with you?
[21:57] Guy
    Do the same pose, like sextuplets!
[22:03] Six
    Sheeeh...
[22:07] Girls
    What's with these guys? They're hilarious!
[22:09] Oso
    W-We'll have to try again next year...
[22:12] Girl
    Seriously?
[22:12] Five
    Yeah...
SIGN    Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu
[23:44] Iyami
    There's always someone better than you.
[23:46] Iyami
    The sextuplets don't
    understand that at all!
[23:50] Iyami
    Observe me, and get a clue.
    Sheeeh, sheeeh, sheeeh!
SIGN    "Iyami Has Arrived" etc.