4 - You're Like Me

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    February 13th
SIGN    Strictly No Entry
    Nagi
[01:38] maria
    What's the matter, Hayate-kun?
[01:41] maria
    Oh, Maria-san.
[01:43] maria
    There's a note here on the kitchen door...
[01:47] maria
    Oh, that's right. Today is...
[01:51] maria
    Hayate-kun, you don't have to concern yourself with it.
[01:53] haya
    What?
[01:54] maria
    It's fine. Just go do something else.
[01:57] haya
    What?
SIGN    "How to Make Chocolate to Effectively Get Your Love Across"
[02:07] nagi
    This book's useless!
[02:09] nagi
    Just you wait, Hayate.
[02:11] nagi
    I'm going to make chocolates for you, the likes of which you have never tasted before!
[02:15] maria
    I just hope it's not going to end up as something he's never wanted to taste before...
[02:21] narr
    That's right. Today's date is the 13th of February- the most important date on a girl's calendar!
[02:28] narr
    After a few other dates, of course.
SIGN    You're Like Me
[02:40] nish
    H-How is it?
[02:42] nish
    What? Pretty good, I guess.
[02:46] nish
    It's not too sweet either.
[02:47] nish
    R-Really?!
[02:49] wat
    But it's not particularly great either.
[02:52] wat
    But, is Valentine's Day really that important?
[02:56] wat
    If you want to confess your love to a guy, you can do that at any time.
[02:58] nish
    You're a dimwit, Wataru-kun!
[03:01] saki
    She's right, young master.
[03:03] saki
    Even the God of Romance bellows with frustration:
[03:04] saki
    "If it was that easy, no-one would have any problems!"
[03:06] nish
    Valentine's Day is the only annual event where internationally-renowned Japanese corporations...
[03:12] nish
    support the delicate hearts of young girls!
[03:16] nish
    That's why I'm going to his school tomorrow and...
[03:20] wat
    I doubt he'll accept them.
[03:22] nish
    What?
[03:23] wat
    I mean, he's rejected you once already, hasn't he? Accepting chocolates after that would be...
[03:31] saki
    Um, young master...
[03:37] wat
    H-He'll accept them!
[03:39] wat
    I-I bet he loves chocolate!
[03:41] saki
    Th-That's right! If you give up now, you're out of the running straight away!
[03:49] nish
    Wataru-kun's right.
[03:52] nish
    Considering what kind of person Hayate-kun is, he'll never accept my chocolates.
[04:00] nish
    If that's the case, I'd rather give him something he will accept.
SIGN    Obligation Chocolate Sale
    (Note: In Japan, it's customary for girls to give "obligation chocolates" to male friends on Valentine's Day.)
[04:08] nagi
    How exactly is this chocolate going to become heart-shaped, anyway?
[04:14] nagi
    I guess I could try applying the basics of combining items or fusing demons together...
[04:28] narr
    And then, the 14th of February came...
SIGN    February 14th
[04:32] haya
    Ojou-sama? We have to go to school soon...
[04:37] nagi
    I'm busy today. Go to school without me.
[04:42] haya
    But, Ojou-sa-
[04:44] haya
    Uh, what should we do, Maria-san?
[04:48] mari
    I think you should let it slide for today. After all, it's a tough day to be a girl.
[05:00] miki
    Aren't girls supposed to give chocolates to boys on Valentine's Day?
[05:05] hina
    Wh-What? Don't you think I know that?
[05:11] miki
    You amaze me every year, Hina.
[05:14] hina
    I wonder why I'm getting more and more chocolate every year...
[05:18] miki
    You're popular because you're cooler than most of the boys.
[05:21] hina
    It's so weird, though. It must be a conspiracy. I mean, I'm so feminine, and yet...
[05:28] miki
    Compared to what you used to be like, I suppose you're right...
SIGN    Memory of her laying the smackdown on boys who spat gum into a girl's hair at cram school
[05:34] hina
    Stop that. It's not like I don't regret doing that.
[05:37] miki
    Are you going to eat all of those? You're gonna get fat.
[05:41] hina
    I know, but I can't just throw them away.
[05:46] hina
    Each one of these chocolates represents a girl's feelings...
[05:51] miki
    I see.
[05:52] miki
    Then, this one's from me.
[05:55] miki
    Good luck eating it all.
[05:57] hina
    Y-You meanie...
[06:00] miki
    But, you're not allowed to get fat, you hear?
[06:04] miki
    Remember, you have to look cool at all times.
[06:13] hina
    I'm gonna eat them all!
[06:20] maria
    If you take the chopped up chocolate...
[06:25] maria
    See? All of it melts.
[06:27] nagi
    Ah, so that's what I had to do.
[06:30] nagi
    The person who came up with this idea should receive the Nobel Prize!
[06:33] mari
    I didn't realize she'd stayed up all night and hadn't even got this far...
[06:38] nagi
    I'll do the rest!
[06:40] nagi
    There's no point in doing it if you do all the cooking.
[06:43] mari
    Okay. Please be careful.
[06:51] hina
    I really need some milk if I want to eat all that chocolate.
[06:55] hina
    I'll go get some from the store.
[06:57] SP
    Hold it right there!
[07:01] nish
    Let go!
[07:02] ---
    Come on. Be a good girl.
[07:02] nish
    Let go of me!
[07:04] nish
    Jeez, what's your problem?
[07:06] nish
    I told you to let me go!
[07:09] hina
    Is something wrong?
[07:11] sp
    Oh, K-Katsura Ojou-sama.
[07:14] sp2
    We caught this suspicious rogue trespassing on school grounds.
[07:18] hina
    Suspicious rogue?
[07:25] hina
    I'm sure our male students would be delighted to find a cute rogue like her creeping around.
[07:30] sp
    B-But...
[07:32] hina
    Anyway, I'll take it from here, so please let her go.
[07:36] hina
    Well, if that's your wish, Katsura Ojou-sama...
[07:39] ---
    Let's go.
[07:42] hina
    Man, they don't even let up for Valentine's Day.
[07:47] hina
    Here you go.
[07:48] nish
    Th-Thank you very much.
[07:51] hina
    It looks like you have two presents there. Are they for two different boys?
[07:55] hina
    Go you!
[07:56] nish
    N-No! It's always been one guy! Just the one!
[08:01] nish
    I'm too embarrassed to tell her that I couldn't make up my mind and ended up bringing...
[08:05] nish
    both love chocolates and obligation chocolates.
[08:08] hina
    No matter who it is, finding that guy will be pretty difficult.
[08:11] hina
    This school's pretty huge, you know.
[08:14] hina
    If you want, I can get the lucky fella to come to a place where the two of you can be alone.
[08:22] nish
    Th-Then, please do!
[08:26] nish
    He's a freshman called Hayate Ayasaki-kun!
[08:32] haya
    I-I'm sorry, Hinagiku-san.
[08:34] hina
    What are you apologizing for, Ayasaki-kun?
[08:37] haya
    I don't know. I just feel like I may have done something to upset you.
[08:41] hina
    For some reason, I feel like you're making fun of me.
[08:45] haya
    No, that's not-
[08:46] hina
    I'm joking.
[08:47] hina
    Anyway, you've got a guest waiting for you in that room over there.
[08:52] haya
    Um, you look angry about something after all...
[08:55] hina
    Shut up! Get in there already!
[08:59] haya
    Wha-
[09:01] haya
    Oh, Nishizawa-san?
[09:03] nish
    Hayate-kun...
[09:06] hina
    I guess I should go downstairs so I don't overhear them.
[09:18] hina
    A day when girls give chocolates to boys, huh?
[09:36] hina
    What happened?
[09:37] haya
    Not much, I guess.
[09:41] haya
    She gave me some obligation chocolate.
[09:43] hina
    Obligation chocolate?
[09:44] haya
    Yes. She asked me to be her friend forever.
[09:47] haya
    She didn't have to do that, though.
[09:51] nish
    No! It's always been one guy! Just the one!
[09:55] hina
    I see. So that's what's going on.
[10:00] hina
    Go chase after her this instant and exchange it.
[10:03] haya
    What? Exchange it?
[10:05] hina
    Just shut up and go after her!
[10:07] haya
    A-All right!
[10:19] nish
    Well, I guess I've done what I set out to do, so that's good.
[10:25] nish
    Am I an idiot or what?
[10:29] nish
    I should have at least told him how I feel one last time.
[10:34] nish
    I'm never going to get a chance like that again.
[10:37] haya
    Nishizawa-san.
[10:46] haya
    U-Um...
[10:55] maria
    So, what is this exactly?
[10:58] nagi
    A chocolate-covered iron pot...
[11:01] maria
    It looks very chewy...
[11:04] narr
    The story of Nishizawa-san and Hayate will continue after the break.
[11:33] haya
    Nishizawa-san...
[11:35] nish
    You don't have to answer.
[11:41] nish
    I just wanted to tell you how I feel.
[11:47] nish
    Please accept this.
[12:07] hina
    I'm sure I made the right decision.
[12:10] hina
    The right decision...
[12:21] hina
    It's bitter...
[12:23] nish
    E-Excuse me!
[12:28] nish
    Thank you so much for what you did for me earlier!
[12:30] nish
    And I, um...
[12:33] hina
    Were you able to tell him?
[12:35] nish
    Y-Yes! And I came here because I wanted to show you my gratitude,
[12:40] nish
    but the only thing I have to give you is this...
[12:42] nish
    But, I've already given it to someone else...
[12:46] hina
    What's your name?
[12:48] nish
    It's Nishizawa. Ayumu Nishizawa! I'm a freshman at Shiomi High.
[12:53] hina
    I'm a freshman at Hakuou Gakuin and I'm also the President of the Student Council.
[12:57] hina
    My name's Hinagiku Katsura. Thank you for your present, Nishizawa-san.
[13:01] nish
    Um, yes... Wait, President of the Student Council?
[13:06] hina
    Anyway, catch you later.
[13:12] nish
    She's so cool.
[13:15] nish
    If I was as cool as her, Hayate-kun might look my way too.
[13:22] miki
    You're getting more chocolate every year because you keep showing off your tomboy side.
[13:26] hina
    So that's why!
[13:29] narr
    Meanwhile, our protagonist...
[13:34] fat
    What's the matter, young man?
[13:37] haya
    Father?
[13:40] haya
    Father, what is "love"?
[13:45] fat
    Naturally, it means: to act without hesitation!
[13:47] haya
    I didn't want a Space Sheriff Shaider definition.
[13:51] haya
    Wait, what are you doing here, Ghost Priest?
[13:53] fat
    Well, I am a ghost.
[13:55] haya
    That's not a valid answer...
[13:57] fat
    Don't worry about it. I'm bound to disappear soon, anyway. Look...
[14:01] fat
    The scar on my forehead has already disappeared.
[14:03] narr
    It's not because the artists forgot to draw it or even because they were too lazy to draw it.
[14:08] haya
    Ah, I see.
[14:10] mari
    Oh, Hayate-kun. Welcome home.
[14:13] haya
    Maria-san.
[14:14] haya
    This is...
[14:16] mari
    What?
[14:18] haya
    Oh, Maria-san can't see the Father.
[14:21] haya
    Oh, nothing.
[14:26] mari
    How was school, Hayate-kun?
[14:29] mari
    Today was Valentine's Day. I bet you got lots of chocolates, didn't you?
[14:36] haya
    Well, yeah, I got one... from Nishizawa-san.
[14:41] mari
    Really?
[14:43] mari
    Oh, you mean obligation chocolate, don't you?
[14:45] haya
    Um, no. Apparently, it was love chocolate.
[14:49] haya
    I-I see, that's quite something...
[14:52] fat
    Every guy who gets love chocolates for Valentine's Day should just crawl into a hole and die!
[14:57] haya
    How can you say things like that? Aren't you a priest?!
[15:03] nagi
    The shape doesn't matter when it comes to things like this.
[15:07] nagi
    If it tastes good, I'm sure...
[15:12] haya
    What should I do?
[15:15] haya
    She gave me love chocolates...
[15:17] haya
    Maria-san, you seem like someone who knows about relationships.
[15:20] haya
    Do you have any advice for me?
[15:21] mari
    W-Well, I guess... let's see...
[15:27] mari
    Wait... Have I actually ever had any romantic experiences?
[15:31] mari
    I skipped grades in school and graduated when I was only thirteen, so I've never really learned about love...
[15:37] haya
    I guess living through my teenage years without ever experiencing love...
[15:40] haya
    would be a pretty gloomy adolescence, but...
[15:44] mari
    Does that mean my adolescence was also gloomy?
[15:47] haya
    I mean, I'm a loser who's lived for sixteen years without having anyone special,
[15:52] haya
    so this has sort of made me happy.
[15:55] mari
    I haven't had anyone special in seventeen years.
[15:58] haya
    Maria-san, you're older than me and more mature too,
[16:01] haya
    so I'm sure you didn't have a boring school life like mine, but...
[16:05] mari
    I did. I led a very boring school life.
[16:09] haya
    I mean, it's not like I'm not interested. I am interested, but I'm too stupid to make anything happen.
[16:16] mari
    Stupid?! Stupid?!
[16:19] haya
    That's why I'm asking for some piece of advice from your experience of love.
[16:24] haya
    Because otherwise, I'm living an adolescent life that's not worth living!
[16:28] haya
    Um, Maria-san? What's wrong?
[16:30] mari
    I'm never talking to you again, Hayate-kun.
[16:33] haya
    Wait, Maria-san...
[16:35] mari
    Hmph. Keep your problems to yourself.
[16:39] haya
    M-M-Maria-san!
[16:42] fat
    Ah, adolescence...
[16:50] mari
    Love, huh?
[16:52] mari
    Maybe I'm not cut out for things like that.
[16:56] mari
    B-But it's not my fault!
[16:59] mari
    There aren't any boys my age around here.
[17:04] mari
    Well, I guess there is one.
[17:06] mari
    But Hayate-kun and I aren't like that...
[17:14] narr
    Truth be told, this is the kind of stuff that has happened between them!
[17:17] mari
    W-Well, I guess I could make him some chocolate...
[17:22] nagi
    Why do girls have to give chocolate to boys anyway?
[17:26] haya
    Ojou-sama, did something happen?
[17:29] nagi
    Valentine's Day is just a conspiracy perpetrated by candy makers.
[17:33] nagi
    If you need the support of corporations to tell someone how you feel about them,
[17:36] nagi
    then it's not worth telling them!
[17:38] haya
    Um...
[17:39] nagi
    Get this straight!
[17:40] nagi
    I'm not grouchy because I didn't manage to make any homemade chocolate for you...
[17:44] nagi
    despite spending all night and all day cooking.
[17:49] haya
    Of course. I knew that.
[17:50] nagi
    So, with that said, Hayate... go and cook some chocolate and give it to me.
[17:56] nagi
    You could pull off something like this without any problems, Hayate!
[18:00] haya
    This girl's got issues.
[18:02] nagi
    Shut up! Shut up!
[18:04] nagi
    Just go make it already!
[18:06] nagi
    Make it with love!
[18:07] haya
    O-Okay!
[18:15] haya
    Huh? Maria-san?
[18:18] mari
    Oh, are you making chocolate for Nagi?
[18:21] haya
    Yes, it's all kind of messed up, though.
[18:23] mari
    But I don't think it'd be much of a problem for you, Hayate-kun.
[18:27] haya
    This is even worse...
[18:29] haya
    Oh, so you're also making chocolate, are you?
[18:33] haya
    Who's it for?
[18:36] mari
    I can't tell him I'm making it for him, because he'd probably think I'm easy or something.
[18:42] mari
    It's a secret. I'm not telling.
[18:46] haya
    Really?
[18:47] haya
    I bet it's Klaus-san or Tama.
[18:51] mari
    How dare you, Hayate-kun. So, you reckon I've got no-one else to give chocolates to, is that it?
[18:59] narr
    She doesn't, actually.
[19:00] mari
    If that's the case,
[19:02] mari
    I'm going to make chocolate so amazing...
[19:04] mari
    that it will take your breath away and you'll be in awe of the skill of the older woman!
SIGN    1 Hour Later
[19:11] mari
    I guess something like this will do.
[19:14] mari
    Hayate-kun, how's your chocolate coming along?
[19:20] haya
    Hm, perhaps I should work on the shape a little more?
[19:25] mari
    Y-You're good at this, Hayate-kun.
[19:27] haya
    Not at all. I had a part time job once at a cake shop.
[19:31] haya
    How's yours coming alon-
[19:34] haya
    Um, Maria-san, did you just-
[19:38] mari
    Right, that's the dummy run out of the way.
[19:40] mari
    Now for the real deal.
[19:43] mari
    I-I underestimated him.
[19:45] mari
    Hayate-kun may be a boy, but he's really good at things like this.
[19:49] mari
    Well, I'll show you!
[19:54] mari
    These clothes aren't just for show!
[20:05] mari
    Hm, have I overdone it a little?
[20:09] mari
    B-But, with this, Hayate-kun will...
[20:12] mari
    S-So, how are your chocolates coming along over there, Hayate-kun?
[20:16] haya
    Oh, me?
[20:18] haya
    I decided that focusing on the shape was a silly idea, so I've focused on the flavor instead.
[20:22] ---
    What on Earth...?
[20:24] nagi
    Hey, Hayate, is my chocolate ready yet?
[20:26] haya
    Oh, Ojou-sama.
[20:28] haya
    Here you go.
[20:29] haya
    Let's see...
[20:32] haya
    How is it?
[20:34] nagi
    Wow! Good job, Hayate! This chocolate's really delicious!
[20:39] nagi
    By the way, Maria, who are you giving your chocolate to?
[20:46] nagi
    It doesn't look like obligation chocolate at all...
[20:49] ---
    It's not for who I think it is, is it?
[20:52] mari
    No, no! I wasn't going to give this to Hayate-kun or anything like that!
[20:56] nagi
    So, it's just like I thought; you made it for yourself.
[20:58] haya
    Maria-san, you're such a glutton.
[21:01] haya
    But it's pretty impressive.
[21:04] nagi
    Yup.
[21:04] mari
    Please order take-out tonight!
[21:07] haya
    Huh? M-Maria-san?
[21:16] haya
    Maria-san.
[21:18] mari
    What is it, Hayate-kun?
[21:29] haya
    I've always wondered why Valentine's Day exists.
[21:37] haya
    But today, I realized something while making chocolate for Nagi Ojou-sama.
[21:43] saki
    I'm so sorry, young master!
[21:43] haya
    Valentine's Day is when you try that little bit harder than usual...
[21:48] haya
    to see the smile of someone dear to you.
[21:52] haya
    Or for doing things you usually can't muster the willpower to do.
[21:56] haya
    That's why it's a wonderful day.
[22:03] haya
    This is from me.
[22:05] haya
    I've tried harder than usual for this, too.
[22:07] mari
    Thank you...
[22:09] haya
    Having someone accept the chocolates you've poured your heart into really makes you happy, doesn't it?
[22:15] mari
    Hayate-kun, you're such a girl.
[22:24] nagi
    What do you think, Hayate? The chocolate I made for you was good, wasn't it?
[24:06] haya
    Wow, your chocolate sculpture was amazing, Maria-san.
[24:09] mari
    Th-Thank you.
[24:11] haya
    I mean, I only focused on flavor, so mine looked really plain.
[24:16] haya
    Even when you're making it for yourself, you still pay close attention to the appearance.
[24:19] ---
    Impressive, Maria-san!
[24:21] mari
    Yeah, all the chocolate I make is for my mouth only!
[24:23] haya
    What? Why are you getting angry?
[24:25] haya
    Anyway, the next episode of Hayate the Combat Butler is entitled Heart to Heart.
[24:28] mari
    Hmph. You're never going to get any of it!