10 - Where's the Present?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] narr
    Last April...
[01:37] ayu
    Th-The brakes are shot! I can't stop!
[01:41] ayu
    Is this really happening?!
[01:45] ayu
    I'm dead.
[01:54] haya
    You have to service your bike properly or else you'll end up getting hurt.
[02:04] ayu
    And that's...
[02:06] ayu
    how I first met Hayate-kun.
[02:11] ayu
    But I think that was a pretty good way to start the day today.
[02:14] ayu
    Though, if I'm going to dream about him, why can't it be a little more romantic?
[02:21] ayu
    I wonder what Hayate-kun is up to.
SIGN    Where's the Present?
[02:31] haya
    Maria-san, what type of presents do you like?
[02:35] ---
    Pardon?
[02:36] haya
    I mean, is there something in particular you want?
[02:40] mari
    Something I want? Hm, let's see...
[02:44] mari
    I'd like there to be a new name for hikikomoris - something other than "shut-ins" or "NEETs".
[02:48] haya
    That's not quite what I meant.
[02:51] haya
    I'm thinking more along the lines of things all girls might want these days...
[02:56] mari
    Well, February's over already, so I guess I'd want a new spring wardrobe.
[03:02] haya
    What? Maria-san, you're interested in fashion?!
[03:05] mari
    What are you implying, Hayate-kun?
[03:07] haya
    Um, nothing...
[03:08] mari
    What's with all the questions, anyway?
[03:11] mari
    Don't tell me you've found a girl you're interested in and you're trying to woo her.
[03:14] haya
    What?! No! It's nothing like that!
[03:16] haya
    Oh, I forgot! I have to go shopping!
[03:18] mari
    Hey, Hayate-kun!
[03:20] mari
    Sheesh. I'm a girl too, you know.
[03:27] haya
    Hm... Clothes, huh?
[03:30] haya
    Hinagiku-san's birthday is March 3rd.
[03:33] haya
    I want to give her something nice for letting me stay at her house the other day, but...
[03:38] haya
    Oh, this is a pretty camisole...
[03:40] haya
    Excuse me, how much is-
[03:42] haya
    Thirty-two thousand yen.
[03:45] haya
    Clothes are out. Girls' clothes are just too expensive.
[03:49] haya
    Man, I guess I'm getting nowhere because I don't understand what girls want these days.
[03:54] haya
    If only I had a female friend my age...
[04:01] ayu
    Oh.
[04:03] haya
    Whoa, it's Nishizawa-san!
[04:04] ayu
    H-Hayate-kun?!
[04:06] haya
    What are you doing in a place like this?
[04:08] ayu
    I should be asking you that, Hayate-kun!
[04:10] haya
    Oh, I was looking for a birthday present for Hinagiku-san,
[04:14] haya
    but I don't know what to get her,
[04:17] haya
    so I was thinking that it'd be useful if I had a female friend my age who...
[04:21] haya
    could give me some advice...
[04:24] haya
    Wait...
[04:25] ayu
    What?
[04:28] narr
    She's a girl your age who can give you advice.
[04:34] narr
    This is the moment that Hayate thought to himself:
[04:36] narr
    I bet Nishizawa-san can offer me better advice than Maria-san.
[04:42] mari
    Hey! What's that supposed to mean?! Why, you!
[04:45] narr
    However! This is what happened on Valentine's Day.
[04:48] narr
    Neither of them know what to do...
[04:52] miki
    Look, Izumi...
[04:53] miki
    There's an idiotic, old-fashioned couple over there, looking all awkward...
[04:57] miki
    and making googly-eyes at each other.
[04:59] izu
    They look so indecisive...
[05:01] haya
    Segawa-san, guys!
[05:03] haya
    What on earth are you doing here?
[05:04] miki
    Hayata-kun, it's much weirder for a boy to be standing in front of a girly store.
[05:09] miki
    But, I can't ignore this scene. Are you on a date?
[05:11] haya
    N-No, you've got it all wrong!
[05:13] haya
    I just came here to buy a birthday present for Hinagiku-san.
[05:18] miki
    A birthday present for Hina?
[05:20] miki
    Oh, that's right, her birthday's March 3rd.
[05:23] haya
    Yes, it is. And because I'm always causing her trouble, I'm buying her-
[05:26] miki
    Just so you know, my birthday's September 9th.
[05:28] izu
    June 21st.
[05:30] risa
    July 13th.
[05:32] haya
    Ah, yes. I'll make sure I remember that.
[05:33] izu
    By the way, Hayate-kun, who's the cute girl you're with?
[05:38] haya
    Oh, this is Ayumu Nishizawa, a former classmate from my old school.
[05:43] izu
    Oh, so it's Ayumu-chan, is it?
[05:46] izu
    I'm Hayata-kun's classmate, Izumi Segawa! Nice to meet you.
[05:51] miki
    I'm Miki Hanabishi. Nice to meet you.
[05:55] risa
    Ayumu-kun, I'm Risa Asakaze.
[05:58] miki
    Just so you know, we're all Hayata-kun's lovers, like in that movie, L' Amant.
[06:02] izu
    Teehee.
[06:04] ayu
    What?!
[06:04] haya
    They're telling fibs, Nishizawa-san.
[06:07] ayu
    W-Well, your friends are here, I guess I'll get going.
[06:12] haya
    Oh, Nishizawa-san...
[06:16] risa
    Aren't you going to go after her?
[06:17] haya
    What?
[06:18] miki
    I don't know why, but I get the feeling you should go after her.
[06:21] haya
    That's...
[06:23] miki
    If you don't, someone's going to get hurt.
[06:25] ayu
    Eeks, my brakes!
[06:28] haya
    Nishizawa-san!
[06:30] ayu
    Why have my brakes stopped working again?!
[06:33] ayu
    And when did I end up on this super-steep hill?
[06:38] ayu
    This time I really am dead...
[06:41] haya
    Nishizawa-san!
[06:48] ayu
    Hayate-kun!
[06:50] narr
    It seems that Nishizawa-san has gotten a little better at riding her mountain bike.
[06:55] ayu
    A-Are you okay?
[06:57] haya
    Yes, but didn't I tell you before?
[07:00] haya
    I'm sure I told you to service your bike properly.
[07:07] ayu
    Yeah, I'm sorry.
[07:11] ayu
    He actually remembered how we first met...
[07:17] mari
    By the way, what would you like as a present, Nagi?
[07:19] nagi
    Rare doujinshi.
[07:21] mari
    I shouldn't have asked.
[07:25] haya
    There we go. All fixed.
[07:28] ayu
    Thank you.
[07:31] ayu
    Hayate-kun, you actually remembered our first meeting.
[07:35] haya
    Well, it made quite an impression, you know...
[07:38] ayu
    I see your point...
[07:40] izu
    Oh, you're both still alive.
[07:43] Haya
    Yes, somehow.
[07:44] miki
    Right. Let's go, then.
[07:46] haya
    Go? Go where?
[07:48] miki
    To buy Hina's birthday present.
[07:52] hina
    Okay, then. Please collect the printouts.
[07:56] kao
    Sorry for making you help out with the supplementary class.
[07:59] hina
    Oh, don't worry about it.
[08:01] kao
    Your older sister doesn't teach them anything and goes off to play baseball instead.
[08:05] hina
    Why don't you just fire that bum?
[08:07] kao
    Oh, that reminds me. I remember telling Segawa and the others to come along as well.
[08:10] hina
    They all left about five minutes into the lesson.
[08:14] kao
    Okay. When you find them, help them with their studies. I can't let them fail...
[08:18] hina
    Easier said than done...
[08:21] hina
    Mind you, it's not like I can just leave them to their own devices.
[08:24] hina
    Geez, where did they go?
[08:27] miki
    And?
[08:28] miki
    What should we do?
[08:31] hina
    I hid without even thinking...
[08:33] hina
    But, what are those guys doing together?
[08:36] haya
    I guess we should first figure out what kind of present Hinagiku-san would like.
[08:40] hina
    What? A present for me?
[08:42] hina
    A birthday present, maybe?
[08:45] haya
    I think a cute stuffed animal would be good.
[08:48] hina
    I'm starting to like where this is going.
[08:51] haya
    After all, Hinagiku-san does have a childish side.
[08:55] miki
    You're right, she does.
[08:57] izu
    What about flowers? Roses might be nice.
[09:00] miki
    No, she's actually pretty clumsy, so she'd prick herself on the thorns.
[09:04] risa
    What about a video game?
[09:06] miki
    No way. She'll break it in seconds.
[09:08] ayu
    W-Well then, maybe some clothes or something laced with precious metal might work.
[09:12] miki
    True. She'd look good in gang threads with brass knuckles.
[09:16] risa
    That'd be perfect.
[09:17] ayu
    No, that's not quite what I meant...
[09:20] miki
    Let's try splitting up and looking around.
[09:24] miki
    You and Hayata-kun go that way.
[09:26] haya
    Roger.
[09:27] miki
    Okay, catch you later.
[09:30] risa
    But it's not easy finding a present for Hina.
[09:34] miki
    You said it.
[09:35] izu
    Wow, this is pretty. I want it.
[09:37] miki
    You know, I think she might actually like a soccer ball or something like that.
[09:40] miki
    I mean, she's pretty much a boy at heart.
[09:44] hina
    Who's a boy at heart?
[09:48] miki
    Ah, Hina!
[09:50] miki
    N-No! Everything we said was about another, totally different Hina!
[09:53] hina
    Yeah, nice try.
[09:55] hina
    And here I was, wondering what you were doing, skipping the supplementary class.
[09:59] izu
    Sorry.
[10:01] hina
    That reminds me. Wasn't Ayasaki-kun with you too?
[10:05] miki
    Oh, yeah. Hayata-kun's the one looking for a present for you.
[10:09] miki
    At least, that's what he told us. I bet he's actually on a date.
[10:12] izu
    Hayata-kun just can't resist the ladies, can he?
[10:14] risa
    Yeah, he looks all prim and proper, but he's actually a player.
[10:14] hina
    A date?
[10:17] hina
    Oh yeah?
[10:20] narr
    That's what she said, but she's still at that age where you care about these things.
[10:24] narr
    More after the break.
[10:35] haya
    I'm sorry for making you come along like this.
[10:39] ayu
    What? No, it's totally fine. I didn't have anything else to do anyway.
[10:43] ayu
    And you fixed my bike.
[10:46] ayu
    And this kinda feels like a date too.
[10:52] ayu
    B-But something this good can't go on forever!
[10:57] ayu
    I realize that a hilarious punchline is waiting just around the corner to ambush me!
[11:01] ayu
    Th-That's right! I can't let my head swim around in the clouds!
[11:04] ayu
    There's no way this happiness will last!
[11:07] ayu
    I wasn't born under a lucky star,
[11:11] ayu
    so I know there'll be a punchline somewhere!
[11:13] ayu
    Okay, I've had enough happiness now. So, what's going to happen to me?!
[11:18] ayu
    What kind of punchline will it be?!
[11:21] haya
    Oh, would you like some soft-serve?
[11:23] ayu
    There it is! Here's the punchline... Wait, what?
[11:26] ayu
    Everything's normal?!
[11:31] haya
    It's good, isn't it?
[11:32] ayu
    Y-Yeah.
[11:34] ayu
    It wasn't particularly side-splitting, but I guess this is okay.
[11:37] haya
    Anyway, we haven't talked like this in a long time.
[11:41] ayu
    What? Yeah, I guess you're right.
[11:43] haya
    Finding a present for Hinagiku-san is proving to be pretty hard, but finding something...
[11:48] haya
    to pay you back won't be easy either...
[11:49] ayu
    What? To pay me back for what?
[11:51] haya
    You know, for the Valentine's chocolate...
[11:54] both
    Oh...
[11:58] haya
    I'm sorry, I...
[11:59] ayu
    N-No, don't sweat it. I'm the one who made it weird!
[12:03] haya
    I'm sorry. I seriously have no tact.
[12:07] haya
    But, no girl has ever said something like that to me before,
[12:11] haya
    so I didn't know what to do...
[12:13] ayu
    Well, the same goes for me...
[12:16] ayu
    I've never said anything like that to anyone other than you.
[12:22] ayu
    I-I've got some ice cream on my hands. I'll go and wash it off.
[12:26] haya
    Nishizawa-san...
[12:28] ayu
    I guess I'm a nuisance after all...
[12:32] ayu
    I bet he doesn't like me.
[12:35] haya
    Nishizawa-san...
[12:37] miki
    I can't figure it out.
[12:39] izu
    Yeah.
[12:40] haya
    What?
[12:41] miki
    A girl loves him with all her heart. What more does Hayata-kun want?
[12:46] girls
    Beats me.
[12:48] haya
    Whoa! Y-You guys! What's going on? You're here too, Hinagiku-san!
[12:53] haya
    Wh-Why?
[12:54] hina
    You're asking me why? This is the way I walk home.
[12:58] izu
    And if your classmate is playing out a scene from a romantic comedy in the middle of the street,
[13:02] izu
    you can't help but be curious.
[13:03] risa
    Or are you more interested in men?
[13:07] risa
    Like, my Excalibur!
[13:09] haya
    No, that's not it.
[13:12] haya
    I, um, it's not like I don't like Nishizawa-san.
[13:17] haya
    I was ecstatic when she told me that she loved me.
[13:21] haya
    When we went to the same school, she also helped me out a number of times.
[13:25] haya
    So I'm very grateful to her,
[13:27] ---
    but...
[13:29] hina
    But what?
[13:30] haya
    Right now, I'm not suitable to be in a relationship with a girl.
[13:36] hina
    Why not?
[13:38] haya
    Because I don't have the resources to support her.
[13:45] hina
    Um, what exactly are you talking about?
[13:48] hina
    Or maybe I should ask what century are you living in?
[13:50] haya
    I'm being serious here!
[13:53] haya
    If a man is serious about dating a girl,
[13:56] haya
    he has to have the resources to support her for the rest of her life.
[13:59] ---
    That's what my ex-girlfriend told me!
[14:03] ---
    What?!
[14:04] izu
    Wait, Hayata-kun... you've had a girlfriend?
[14:07] haya
    What? Oh, yeah, but that was in kindergarten.
[14:10] all
    Then, say that in the first place, you twerp!
[14:12] haya
    But, she always told me:
[14:16] atan
    Listen up, Hayate.
[14:18] atan
    If you want to date a girl, you have to become strong.
[14:22] atan
    And you have to be kinder than everyone else.
[14:24] atan
    And on top of that, you must have the resources so that...
[14:27] atan
    she'll never have to worry about money.
[14:28] haya
    But, Aa-tan, that sounds really difficult...
[14:32] atan
    A man who can't even do that isn't suitable to date a girl!
[14:37] atan
    Do you understand, Hayate?
[14:40] haya
    Y-Yeah, but Aa-tan, my stomach hurts.
[14:44] atan
    That's the pain of love.
[14:48] haya
    No, I think it's because you kicked me in the stomach.
[14:52] haya
    That's how those rules were carved into my body.
[14:55] hina
    I see. So it's all the evil witch's fault that he's turned out so warped.
[15:01] haya
    So, it's not like I dislike Nishizawa-san, but rather...
[15:07] ayu
    I see.
[15:09] ayu
    So he doesn't dislike me after all.
[15:14] ayu
    I'm relieved...
[15:20] haya
    I'm home.
[15:21] nagi
    Oh, you're home late, Hayate.
[15:25] nagi
    I was worried that you'd gotten in trouble again.
[15:30] haya
    I'm not always ruled by misfortune, you know.
[15:33] haya
    I was just buying a birthday present for Hinagiku-san.
[15:37] nagi
    Oh, I see...
[15:39] nagi
    Wait...
[15:41] nagi
    What did you just say?
[15:42] haya
    What?
[15:44] nagi
    Hey, Hayate. Why are you buying Hinagiku a birthday present?
[15:50] haya
    Why? Well, because I've caused her a lot of trouble recently...
[15:54] nagi
    Just because you're causing her trouble doesn't...
[15:56] nagi
    How can you give presents to girls that aren't me?!
[16:00] haya
    Here, this is for you, Ojou-sama.
[16:02] haya
    I saw this cute hair clip in a shop, so I bought it for you.
[16:08] haya
    It's cheap, so I don't know if you'll like it.
[16:11] nagi
    I-I'm sure I will!
[16:14] nagi
    What you want and what you get are two different things.
[16:17] nagi
    What's important is not the price of the present, but the thought behind it...
[16:21] nagi
    It's about how much you thought about the other person...
[16:28] nagi
    Thank you. I'll cherish it.
[16:34] nagi
    Now, going back to Hinagiku's present...
[16:38] narr
    You couldn't distract her from her line of thought entirely...
[16:43] mari
    Oh, so you were out buying a birthday present for Hinagiku-san.
[16:48] mari
    So that's why you asked me what kind of presents I wanted.
[16:51] haya
    Yes, that's right.
[16:53] mari
    But, you're pretty thoughtful, Hayate-kun.
[16:56] haya
    What do you mean?
[16:58] mari
    You didn't only get a present for Hinagiku-san, but you got one for Nagi too.
[17:02] mari
    I'm impressed that you thought of her.
[17:04] haya
    Oh, it's not a big deal.
[17:06] haya
    Speaking of birthdays...
[17:09] mari
    Yes?
[17:11] haya
    Maria-san, when's your birthday?
[17:15] mari
    What?
[17:16] haya
    Oh, I was just thinking that I didn't know when your birthday was, so I thought I'd ask.
[17:22] mari
    Um, I-I have to prepare the bath.
[17:26] mari
    Hayate-kun, please wash the dishes.
[17:33] haya
    Maria-san's behavior just now...
[17:35] haya
    Thinking about it, I guess the fact that she's seventeen and working a maid...
[17:39] haya
    must have some significance.
[17:41] ---
    Maybe she's in a similar position to me?
[17:44] haya
    And that's related to her birthday somehow, so her reaction means...
[17:52] haya
    I stepped on a land mine?
[17:55] haya
    Wh-What should I do?!
[17:57] haya
    This is why Ojou-sama and Hinagiku-san...
[17:59] haya
    always get angry with me, telling me that I'm tactless all the time.
[18:02] haya
    What should I do?
[18:05] fath
    You have to get on your knees and apologize.
[18:07] haya
    Whoa! Father!
[18:09] haya
    You still haven't crossed over?
[18:11] haya
    But forget that... I have to get down on my knees, huh?
[18:13] fath
    Yeah, that's what Japanese people do.
[18:17] fath
    In Russia, they do Russian Roulette.
[18:20] fath
    And in France, they use the guillotine.
[18:22] haya
    Wow, I'm glad I was born in Japan.
[18:25] haya
    Anyway, I have to apologize to her right away!
[18:31] fath
    Go! Good luck, young man!
[18:33] haya
    Maria-san!
[18:35] haya
    Maria-san!
[18:36] haya
    Maria-san!
[18:37] ---
    Damn it.
[18:38] haya
    This is old news, but damn, this mansion is huge!
[18:44] haya
    That scream came from Maria-san.
[18:46] haya
    What happened? Are you all right?!
[18:52] haya
    Huh? Maria-san?
[18:54] mari
    Hayate-kun! Hayate-kun!
[18:57] mari
    A r-roach...
[18:58] haya
    What? A roach?
[18:59] haya
    Whoa! Shiranui!
SIGN    Trivia
    Apparently, cats enjoy showing off their captured prey to their owners.
[19:01] narr
    Please enjoy this beautiful image with a spot of trivia while Hayate defeats the little black beast.
[19:10] haya
    Maria-san, it's okay now.
[19:13] mari
    R-Really?
[19:14] haya
    Yes, really.
[19:16] haya
    And if we don't stop clinging to each other soon... umm...
[19:30] mari
    Thank you very much, Hayate-kun.
[19:32] mari
    I will discipline Shiranui appropriately later.
[19:36] haya
    So, I guess she's trying to maintain a mature air, after all...
[19:39] haya
    Oh, but I also have to apologize.
[19:42] mari
    What?
[19:43] haya
    I mean, I asked you about your birthday, when perhaps I shouldn't have...
[19:52] haya
    I-I mean... Is this the point where I get down on my knees?
[19:59] mari
    It's not like it's a taboo question.
[20:02] ---
    What?
[20:07] mari
    My birthday is December 24th. At least, for now.
[20:13] haya
    For now?
[20:15] mari
    I don't know... my real birthday.
[20:20] mari
    I've never known my birthday, nor my parents' faces, nor even my real name...
[20:27] mari
    Everything's in the family records, but it's only there for convenience...
[20:33] haya
    Maria-san, I-I'm sorry.
[20:36] haya
    I didn't realize your past was so sad.
[20:42] mari
    But, it's true.
[20:44] mari
    Because of you, I had to remember all these painful memories...
[20:49] haya
    Ah! I'm sorry!
[20:52] mari
    Just kidding. I'm not going to cry over something like that now.
[21:01] mari
    Hayate-kun, what's this?
[21:04] haya
    Well, when I was getting a present for Hinagiku-san, I bought this for you.
[21:10] haya
    I thought I'd buy you a present too...
[21:14] haya
    Is it too childish?
[21:19] haya
    I-If you don't want it, I...
[21:22] mari
    No, this is the first present you've ever given me, so I'll cherish it.
[21:29] mari
    Thank you.
[21:31] mari
    But if you got me this when you were out getting Hinagiku-san's birthday present...
[21:36] mari
    I wonder what kind of magnificent present you'll get me on December 24th.
[21:42] haya
    Leave it to me!
[21:43] haya
    On December 24th - Christmas Eve - I'm going to give you a much better present!
[21:55] mari
    Okay.
[21:57] mari
    Then, you'll have to give me something more wonderful than Santa on Christmas Eve.
[22:03] haya
    I will!
[22:09] mari
    Promise?
[22:11] haya
    Promise!
[22:22] maff
    Yo, I'm Muffy!
[22:24] maff
    I'm an assassin from hell!
[22:26] maff
    Now, let's go kill something!
[22:30] narr
    Looks like he didn't know what kind of character he picked up.
[24:06] ayu
    I wonder if Hayate-kun found a birthday present for Hinagiku-san.
[24:09] ayu
    What if those two suddenly get really close because of it?!
[24:14] nagi
    As if that would happen!
[24:15] nagi
    Hayate only has eyes for me!
[24:17] ayu
    Maybe Hayate-kun and Hinagiku-san are actually brother and half-sister who have been living apart...
[24:20] ayu
    and going against the natural order of things, those two will...
[24:23] nagi
    I'm not going to allow that sort of cheap dramatic development!
[24:27] nagi
    The next episode of Hayate the Combat Butler is entitled Around the Time of the Hina Festival.
[24:30] ayu
    Oh, I wonder who that cute girl is.