21 - In the End, Our Cat's the Cutest

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:33] narr
    For some reason, today's episode
    of Hayate the Combat Butler...
[01:36] narr
    begins in Africa, eight years ago.
[01:42] nag
    Boy, I'd understand getting lost this
    bad if I was Isumi, but honestly...
[01:49] nag
    Hey Jenny, is this really
    the right way?
[01:55] jen
    Huh?
[01:56] ---
    Only the sun himself would
    know the answer to that.
[02:00] nag
    So you've just been walking
    around aimlessly...
[02:10] jen
    Nagi, what's wrong?
[02:21] nar
    This young tiger cub is Tama.
[02:30] nar
    So, as you can see,
[02:32] ---
    this episode will focus on the
    strong bond between...
[02:35] nar
    Nagi and Tama.
SIGN    In the End, Our Cat's the Cutest
[02:48] nar
    Warping forwards to the Sanzenin
    manor, present day...
SIGN    Giant snake appears in Shinjuku!!!
[02:54] tv
    Earlier today, a pet anaconda measuring four
    meters long escaped from his Shinjuku home...
[02:59] tv
    and has put everyone in the
    surrounding area on edge.
[03:02] nag
    Hm, that's pretty close.
[03:02] tv
    A man reportedly smuggled
    the snake into the country.
[03:05] nag
    Manors like ours have a whole load
    of trees, so it might hide here.
[03:05] tv
    The snake is extremely aggressive and if anyone
    is unfortunate enough to be attacked by it,
[03:08] mar
    That's true.
[03:10] tv
    the consequences would be freaking dire.
[03:14] nag
    For crying out loud, why would
    anyone go out of their way...
[03:17] nag
    to keep such a big, dangerous
    animal as a pet?
[03:19] mar
    I don't get it either. I mean, they're
    big and dangerous, after all...
[03:26] hay
    You seem to be forgetting that we've also got some
    big, dangerous creatures in this house too.
[03:34] nag
    Now you mention it, we had lots of those mammoth
    caterpillars last year, didn't we?
[03:38] mar
    Those were really dangerous.
[03:42] hay
    Well, I guess it's too late to do
    anything about it anyway...
[03:45] hay
    And besides, this tiger can talk,
[03:46] ---
    so I don't even know if he can actually
    be considered a tiger...
[03:55] hay
    What?
[03:59] tam
    Hey punk, what's the big idea?!
[04:03] tam
    Are you trying to label me as dangerous
    so that they throw me out?
[04:06] tam
    Is that it?!
[04:08] ---
    Ojou thinks I'm just a cat, so
    I'm not dangerous at all!
[04:14] tam
    Listen up!
[04:16] ---
    I'm here to make sure you don't try
    and do anything funny to Ojou.
[04:21] tam
    Throwing me out is not
    an option, got that?
[04:25] tam
    Anyway, if you keep being so cocky,
    you're gonna feel my fist.
[04:29] tam
    Never forget that!
[04:38] hay
    Tigers... are dangerous.
[04:40] tam
    For chrissakes! The butler-in-debt has
    become pretty cocky recently.
[04:46] tam
    If only he wasn't around, I'd
    have Ojou all to myself.
[04:52] tam
    Oh yeah,
[04:54] ---
    you're still here too, Shiranui.
[04:59] tam
    I'm gonna make sure both you and that
    butler-in-debt leave this place and...
[05:05] tam
    Hey! Wait up, you little brat!
[05:08] deli
    Delivery!
[05:10] mar
    Yes, coming!
[05:13] tam
    Hey, Shiranui! I told you
    to wait, you little runt!
[05:21] tam
    I've finally got you, Shiranui.
    Give it up...
[05:35] hay
    But, why did you decide
    to adopt Tama as a pet?
[05:40] nag
    Why?
[05:42] ---
    Well, I picked him up just
    after my mother died.
[05:49] nag
    Being in the house by myself...
[05:51] nag
    was too emotional because everything
    reminded me of her.
[05:54] nag
    So, I thought I'd go traveling to find a
    place that didn't remind me of her,
[05:58] ---
    and somehow ended up in Africa.
[06:03] nag
    Then...
[06:07] nag
    Hey Jenny, something's
    collapsed over there.
[06:12] nag
    It kinda looks like a tiger,
    but what is it?
[06:16] jen
    I've never seen a white tiger before.
    It must just be a cat.
[06:20] nag
    Cat? But it looks like a tiger...
[06:23] jen
    Oh shit! There are no
    tigers in Africa!
[06:27] jen
    If I say it's a cat, it's a cat. You got
    that, you rotten little shrimp?
[06:33] nag
    So, it's a cat...
[06:35] jen
    Yup, but this poor
    thing's done for.
[06:40] nag
    Huh? Why?
[06:43] jen
    There is a horde of hungry
    beasts surrounding it.
[06:48] nag
    Hey Jenny, save it!
[06:50] jen
    I'm sorry, no can do.
[06:53] nag
    What do you mean?!
[06:55] ---
    Isn't this why you carry a rifle?!
[06:57] jen
    This looks like a rifle... but
    it's actually a lighter.
[07:02] jen
    I bought it at the gift
    shop at the airport.
[07:05] nag
    Don't buy things that confuse me like that!
[07:09] nag
    Wait, doesn't that mean...
[07:12] ---
    we're also in a bit of a pickle?
[07:14] jen
    That's right!
[07:17] jen
    What a hilarious situation.
    What should we do?
[07:21] nag
    Why are you asking me?
[07:27] nag
    Hey, you there!
[07:30] nag
    Come here!
[07:32] nag
    We're going to run for it!
[07:34] jen
    Roger that!
[07:41] jen
    They're chasing us!
[07:43] jen
    Of course they are. They're
    wild animals, after all!
[07:46] nag
    Do you think we'll die
    if they catch us?
[07:48] jen
    Of course we will. That's the
    only real outcome of this.
[07:54] nag
    Don't worry, little one.
[07:56] ---
    I'm going to do whatever
    it takes to save you.
[08:03] jen
    Actually, they've already
    caught up with us.
[08:06] nag
    What?
[08:14] guy
    Hey! Ojou-sama's over there!
[08:18] guy2
    Ojou-sama!
[08:19] guy2
    You're safe!
[08:21] isu
    Are you all right?
[08:22] nag
    Isumi?
[08:24] isu
    Oh, what do you have there?
[08:26] nag
    Oh, this little guy's...
[08:29] isu
    What a cute kitten.
[08:31] nag
    Huh? So he is actually a cat?
[08:34] isu
    Yes. There are no
    tigers in Africa,
[08:38] ---
    and he's white, so he must be a cat.
[08:42] nag
    Well, if you say so, I guess
    he must be a cat!
[08:46] nag
    But what are you going
    to do with him?
[08:49] nag
    Well, I don't know where
    his mother is...
[08:55] jen
    His mother's long dead.
[08:57] ---
    This thing was all by itself,
    waiting to die.
[09:00] nag
    Is that really true, Jenny?
[09:03] ---
    But how can you know
    something like that?
[09:06] jen
    Because I used my special ninja whisper
    technique to hear what he said.
[09:12] nag
    You have powers like that?
[09:15] nag
    Wait... if you know
    ninja techniques,
[09:17] ---
    why didn't you use them to defeat
    those wild animals?
[09:22] nag
    Th-That means...
[09:24] ---
    you don't have a mother either...
[09:30] isu
    Nagi...
[09:33] nag
    I've decided.
[09:36] ---
    From this day on,
    I, Nagi Sanzenin,
[09:40] ---
    will be your mother.
[09:43] nag
    I am going to protect you,
    come what may.
[09:51] nag
    So, that's how it happened.
[09:55] hay
    I didn't realize that was
    how you two met.
[09:58] nag
    Yeah, it's quite a moving
    story, isn't it?
[10:01] hay
    It was.
[10:03] ---
    But, there is still one
    thing I want to ask:
[10:07] hay
    What kind of person is Jenny?
[10:10] nag
    I haven't a clue. I don't
    know her that well.
[10:14] hay
    What? Jenny was a stranger?!
[10:18] nag
    Well, she's my friend's younger
    sister, but she's kinda weird.
[10:22] hay
    Younger sister?!
[10:24] ---
    Your friend's younger sister...
[10:26] hay
    How old was Jenny back then?!
[10:28] nag
    Four.
[10:29] hay
    But she was huge! In your flashback,
    Jenny was huge!
[10:32] nag
    Well, she said she was a ninja,
[10:34] ---
    and aren't ninjas usually
    about that size?
[10:38] hay
    How hazy can your logic get?
[10:45] hay
    Well, anyway,
[10:47] ---
    Tama's quite lucky that you
    care for him so much.
[11:08] tam
    Where... am I?
[11:11] tam
    This is bad. I'm totally lost.
[11:16] tam
    What should I do?
[11:18] tam
    Where are the police when
    you need them?
[11:20] tam
    But, I'm a tiger. Should I really let
    myself be seen by normal people?
[11:24] news
    Here's an update on the previous
    story about the giant anaconda.
[11:28] news
    The escaped anaconda has been
    found without incident...
[11:30] news
    and has been shot and
    killed by police.
[11:33] new2
    Yes, it was definitely a dangerous
    animal, after all.
[11:36] new2
    If a tiger was spotted in the city, it
    would be shot immediately as well.
[11:45] tam
    Crap, crap, crap!
[11:46] ---
    This is bad! If they find
    me, I'm dead! Ojou!
[11:51] nar
    And so begins the survival
    adventure...
[11:54] nar
    of the tiger that grew
    up in a greenhouse.
[12:08] nag
    Hey Maria, where's Tama?
[12:11] mar
    Now you mention it, I haven't
    seen him around for a while.
[12:15] nag
    Jeez, where's he wandered
    off to now?
[12:19] mar
    I'm sure he'll be back when
    he gets hungry.
[12:25] tam
    Okay, okay! It's not like mankind has been defeated.
[12:30] ---
    Let's keep our cool and evaluate
    the situation...
[12:32] tam
    so that we can resolve it quickly.
SIGN    A tiger has appeared in the city. What do you do?
SIGN    Fight?
SIGN    Flee?
SIGN    Magic?
SIGN    Shoot and kill.
[12:45] tam
    Okay, okay! I understand the situation
    now. This is a resounding victory.
[12:50] tam
    A resounding victory for mankind.
[12:52] ---
    Wait, I'm not part of mankind,
    which means...
[12:55] tam
    it's utter defeat.
[12:58] tam
    This is a horrible situation... if they
    find me, they'll shoot me dead.
[13:05] tam
    It'd be best if I could get home
    without being spotted,
SIGN    He's inside this thing.
[13:08] tam
    but I wonder if that's
    even possible...
[13:11] tam
    And anyway, where the hell am I?
[13:15] tam
    I was in a car, so maybe
    I'm miles away.
[13:18] ---
    What am I going to do if I'm not
    even in the same city anymore?
[13:20] tam
    But even if I am still in the city, I've found
    walking and stuff really exhausting lately,
[13:25] tam
    because I've been feeling the onset of Syndrome X.
[13:28] tam
    Well, I guess I'll just hide in this thing
    and wear it all the way back home,
[13:31] tam
    where Ojou-sama's
    waiting for me...
[13:34] tam
    What's this?
[13:39] ---
    I can't even go home in disguise?!
    Ojou, help me!
[13:48] isu
    Father, please watch
    and pass over!
[13:56] fat
    Is it okay?
[13:58] hay
    What do you mean?
[14:01] fat
    Well, if it's okay, it's fine.
[14:05] hay
    Like I said, what do you mean?
[14:07] fat
    The tiger. That white tiger.
[14:12] hay
    What's wrong with Tama?
[14:14] fat
    Well, he was accidentally transported off
    the estate by a truck a little while ago.
[14:19] hay
    Oh, that's bad...
[14:19] isu
    Father, please watch
    and pass over!
[14:22] hay
    What?!
[14:38] tam
    Ah, what am I supposed to do?
[14:40] tam
    I want to get home quickly, but
    the human world is scary.
[14:44] tam
    What if I never see Ojou again?
[14:51] tam
    Damn it. This is all because of that butler-in-debt
    and that damn Shiranui!
[14:56] tam
    Especially Shiranui, it's his
    fault that I... that I...
[15:05] tam
    Sh-Shiranui?
[15:11] tam
    Sh-Shiranui!
[15:16] tam
    You bastard! Damn you, Shiranui! It's
    your fault that I'm in this mess!
[15:22] tam
    Do you know what you did to
    me? I was all alone, you jerk!
[15:29] tam
    Well, I really want to beat you up, but I've
    got a huge heart, so I'll forgive you.
[15:36] tam
    As we have no choice,
    I'll cooperate with you...
[15:39] tam
    and help you get home, all right?
[15:42] tam
    Anyway, all we need to do
    is find out where we are!
[15:45] tam
    We need to find out our location.
[15:49] tam
    Hey, Shiranui!
[15:51] ---
    Wait! Where are you going!?
[15:56] izu
    Hey, look! There's a
    cute kitten here!
[16:00] miki
    Oh, you're right.
[16:03] tam
    What's going on?
[16:04] izu
    It's so cute! It looks like it's
    only about six months old.
[16:07] mik
    Yeah, that'd be my guess.
[16:14] izu
    No, don't go there! Stop it!
[16:19] mik
    What a pervy cat.
[16:22] tam
    Dude, what are you doing?
[16:26] mik
    Oh, it ran away.
[16:30] tam
    Hey Shiranui, what on
    earth was that...
[16:34] tam
    Wait, a cell phone?!
[16:37] tam
    Good job!
[16:39] tam
    This is one of those newfangled
    phones with GPS!
[16:42] tam
    Now we can figure
    out where we are!
[16:47] tam
    I see, so this is where we were!
[16:50] tam
    That bit that looked like the ocean
    in part one was the Shakujii Park.
[16:54] tam
    Okay, now we just have to get
    directions to the estate...
[16:58] nar
    He doesn't know the address.
[17:03] tam
    How can this be?
[17:05] ---
    Who would have known that such
    obstacles would exist...
[17:07] tam
    I don't even have the slightest
    clue how to get home.
[17:13] tam
    I won't give up!
[17:14] tam
    With a modern cellphone like this,
    I have another trick up my sleeve!
SIGN    1: White Tiger:
[17:18] Onsc
    I've got no money and
    I'm completely lost,
[17:20] ---
    but I don't know my
    home address.
[17:22] Onsc
    Tears in my eyes.
[17:24] tam
    Come on, all you kindhearted
    people,
[17:27] ---
    who once helped a
    man on a train.
[17:29] tam
    Lend me your aid!
[17:34] tam
    Oh, there we go!
SIGN    2: Anonymous:
[17:36] onsc
    I thought we agreed...
[17:39] ---
    not to start any more of
    these worthless threads!
[17:42] tam
    Curses! I expected you people
    to respond like that!
[17:46] tam
    But that's the natural response.
[17:49] tam
    If I was in their place, I'd
    write the same. But now!
[17:55] boy
    @op: What's your problem?
[17:59] boy2
    He's lost, OTZ.
[18:01] man
    Forget about him. Let's
    have an adventure.
SIGN    73: Anonymous Go around the world. 74: Anonymous Hey, Zashiki-warashi. 75: Anonymous ^My wife.
[18:05] tam
    Right now, I really need help!
[18:11] kaw/os
    Don't worry, I'm lost in life too.
[18:16] kla/os
    Up arrow, lol.
[18:20] tam
    Dammit! Was this really
    such a bad idea?!
SIGN    110: Anonymous
[18:26] nag/os
    @op. A proper reply to your problem:
    You've got a cell phone,
[18:29] nag/os
    why don't you just get in
    touch with someone...
[18:31] nag/os
    who knows the address of the
    place you're trying to get to?
[18:35] tam
    Someone who knows
    the address...
[18:38] tam
    That's right. That girl.
[18:40] ---
    I think she's a student
    at Ojou's school.
[18:43] tam
    I think she's even come round
    the house once...
[18:45] tam
    That means...
SIGN    SA
SIGN    Nagi Sanzenin
[18:52] tam
    It's here!
[18:53] tam
    Now I can get home!
SIGN    112: White Tiger
[18:59] tam/os
    Thanks, I think I might make it.
[19:04] tam
    Right, now I know where to go
    and I've got directions too.
[19:08] tam
    Now, I just have to go straight
    home without being spotted!
[19:14] tam
    This is all thanks to you. I'm grateful
    for your help today, Shiranui.
[19:20] tam
    Wait, Shiranui? Shiranui?!
[19:29] tam
    Hey! Why are you playing around
    in the middle of the road?!
[19:33] tam
    Do you have a deathwish?!
[19:37] tam
    If you stay there, you'll be
    run over by a car! Hey!
[19:40] tam
    See, I knew a truck would come!
[19:43] tam
    It's coming at you real fast!
    Hurry up, run away!
[19:49] tam
    What should I do? Go save him?
    But then, my identity...
[19:56] tam
    Wait, if he goes away... then I can
    have Ojou all to myself again!
[20:01] tam
    And I'm almost home... there's no reason
    to put myself in danger to save him...
[20:09] tam
    Now's not the time for that!
[20:11] tam
    Shiranui!
[20:25] tam
    Butler-in-debt...
[20:33] hay
    For God's sake,
[20:35] ---
    if something were to happen to you,
    Ojou-sama would be mortified.
[20:39] hay
    So, be careful.
[20:44] wom
    Oh my god, it's a tiger!
[20:51] tam
    Oh nuts, they saw me! They'll shoot
    me dead! I'm going to die!
[20:56] wom
    Hey you, get away
    from him quickly!
[20:59] hay
    Ah, please don't worry.
[21:03] hay
    There are no ugly tigers
    with such short legs.
[21:07] ---
    It's just a costume.
[21:09] wom1
    Oh, it's a costume.
[21:11] ---
    I thought it was weird. I
    mean, it's just so ugly.
[21:14] wom2
    You said it. It's so ugly,
    it can't be a tiger.
[21:17] wom3
    You're right, it's way too
    ugly to be a tiger.
[21:21] hay
    See? It all worked out
    in the end, Tama.
[21:25] tam
    Damn you, butler-in-debt.
[21:27] tam
    You're gonna get it!
[21:33] hay
    I'm home.
[21:38] nag
    Oh, Hayate. Where did you
    run off to all of a sudden?
[21:42] hay
    Oh, I just had some
    errands to run.
[21:46] nag
    Oh Tama, did you come back
    because you're hungry?
[21:51] hay
    Ojou-sama, you should leave the
    house too once in a while.
[21:55] nag
    In this day and age,
[21:56] ---
    I'm connected to the whole
    world, even in this house,
[21:58] nag
    so there's no need.
[21:59] hay
    There you go again...
[22:02] nag
    It's true. Today, I helped
    someone else.
SIGN    113: Anonymous
[22:13] nag/os
    @112. Hope you get home safely.
[22:17] nar
    And so, even today...
[22:21] nag
    I'm going to do whatever
    it takes to save you.
[22:26] nar
    ...she kept her promise again.
[24:06] tam
    Phew, a lot happened today, but
    I made it home safely somehow.
[24:12] tam
    Oh, that's right, Shiranui.
[24:13] tam
    I've got to thank the person who
    taught me how to get home.
[24:17] tam
    What the...
[24:18] ---
    My thread has suddenly turned into
    a thread to help the guy...
[24:20] tam
    who said he was lost in life!
[24:22] tam
    And he's been told by the person
    he loves that he's a 2D gigolo?
[24:25] tam
    What the hell?!
[24:27] tam
    The next episode of Hayate the Combat Butler
    is entitled Keep On Dreaming.
[24:30] tam
    What? Ojou's going to work?!