15 - The Steamy Tension of the Shimoda Hot Springs Trip

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] mari
    Ah, the weather's great today!
[01:36] mari
    All right, let's go. Are you ready, Nagi?
[01:41] nagi
    Shouldn't I be asking you that?
[01:43] ---
    You should change out of your pajamas and put on your maid outfit already...
[01:48] mari
    You think my fashionable outfit is a pair of pajamas, do you?
[01:51] narr
    It seems a little recap might be in order...
[02:01] narr
    This is what happened a few weeks ago...
SIGN    The Steamy Tension of the Shimoda Hot Springs Trip
[02:12] narr
    And this is what happened yesterday...
[02:15] nagi
    What do you think of these clothes?
[02:18] haya
    Wow, they look great on you, Ojou-sama!
[02:23] nagi
    I didn't want a robotic answer from you.
[02:25] nagi
    I wanted to hear your personal opinion. Don't you get it, Hayate?
[02:30] haya
    My opinion? Is it really okay for me to voice it?
[02:34] nagi
    I just said it was fine, so stop asking the same question all the time.
[02:37] haya
    Okay, if you insist...
[02:41] ---
    Frankly, I think you look better in clothes designed for kids...
[02:48] nagi
    Do you have a problem with my choice of outfit? Well, do you?!
[02:51] haya
    No, I don't... No problem at all...
[02:58] mari
    You just can't please her...
[03:02] haya
    But what's the occasion? Why are you pulling out all these outfits?
[03:07] nagi
    Isn't that obvious?
[03:09] ---
    I'm trying to decide what to take on our trip tomorrow.
[03:12] haya
    Oh, this is a fancy watch.
[03:16] haya
    A minute repeater and a tourbillon...
[03:20] haya
    Split-second chronograph with double retrograde.
    A grand complication watch.
[03:27] haya
    and to top it all off, it also sports an uncut ruby...
[03:31] nagi
    You seem to know a lot about it, Hayate.
[03:32] haya
    It's just basic knowledge.
[03:35] ---
    With quality watches, you can tell such things by just looking at them.
[03:40] haya
    Did you just say a trip tomorrow?!
[03:42] nagi
    You're too slow! Your enemies will have jumped from Mars to the moon if that's how long it takes you to react!
[03:46] haya
    Anyway, where are we going on this trip?
[03:50] nagi
    The Izu peninsula!
[03:52] haya
    Izu, huh?
[03:55] rep
    A few weeks ago, a meteorite fell to Earth on the Izu peninsula,
[03:59] rep
    and it's been reported that there are some strange goings-on at the hot springs,
[04:03] rep
    which might be caused by the meteorite.
[04:07] rep
    These strange goings-on include:
[04:09] rep
    enhanced breast size for women;
[04:13] rep
    enhanced intelligence, leading to higher grades in math around arithmetic;
[04:19] rep
    recovery of mysterious powers that have somehow been lost;
[04:26] rep
    and most of all, growth is fostered...
[04:31] rep
    and these adult outfits can look the way they were meant to.
[04:35] rep
    Look at this lady here, for example. She might not look it, but she's actually only six years old!
[04:39] girl
    I wonder how many friends I'll make when I get to grade school...
[04:46] nagi
    No, you've got it all wrong, Hayate! This has nothing to do with that...
[04:50] haya
    In my opinion, you'd look better in clothes suitable for your age range...
[04:55] nagi
    I just told you it had nothing to do with that!
[05:00] narr
    And so, bright and early on the morning of March 12th...
[05:06] its
    Hey Sis,
[05:08] ---
    where are you going on that bike of yours so early in the morning?
[05:12] nish
    Who, me? Oh, I'm just popping to Shimoda.
[05:16] nish
    What? Shimoda?! You mean, the one in Izu?!
[05:19] nis
    Yeah. If I leave now, I'll get there before dusk,
[05:21] nis
    and then I can catch the express train back tomorrow.
[05:24] its
    But why are you going by bike?! Take the train!
[05:27] nis
    I don't have that kind of money!
[05:28] ---
    I've also gotta stay with a relative when I get there!
[05:32] nis
    Don't worry. I've got bags of energy, so it'll be easy.
[05:36] its
    Hey! Sis, wait!
[05:37] nis
    See ya, I'm off!
[05:42] haya
    Phew, this place is packed.
[05:45] haya
    When I heard we'd be going by train,
[05:49] haya
    I assumed you'd have booked the whole station.
[05:53] nagi
    I wouldn't do something as crude as that.
[05:55] ---
    I wanted this trip to be normal this time. Totally normal.
[05:59] nagi
    That's why I didn't bring any bodyguards along.
[06:03] mari
    It's true. This trip is a special one.
[06:07] mari
    So, on this trip, we're relying on you.
[06:12] mari
    We're counting on you.
[06:14] haya
    A trip with Ojou-sama and Maria-san...
[06:18] haya
    Ojou-sama doesn't know anything about the real world,
[06:20] haya
    and Maria-san doesn't have a clue how a normal person lives either!
[06:25] nagi
    By the way, what's this "Green Car"?
[06:25] nagi
    Note: First-class carriages on Japanese trains are called Green Cars.
[06:28] mari
    It's probably due to the color of the train.
[06:31] nagi
    Anyway, there sure are a lot of people here.
[06:34] mari
    There are so many trains here. Maybe we should just jump on that empty one over there.
[06:39] haya
    This is a huge responsibility! I have to get it together!
[06:45] haya
    This way!
[06:46] ---
    And all the seats are reserved,
[06:48] haya
    so, as long as you don't lose your tickets, you should be fine!
[07:01] nagi
    Oh, this is pretty comfortable.
[07:04] mari
    The perfect sky is the pièce de resistance.
[07:08] nagi
    By the way, Hayate, what have you got there?
[07:11] haya
    I bought some packed lunches for the journey at the station.
[07:13] haya
    They've been specially made so that you can eat them on the train.
[07:16] haya
    I bought them in case you got hungry, but I don't know if they'll suit your tastes.
[07:22] nagi
    Oh, do they sell those things everywhere?
[07:25] haya
    Yes. I think they sell them in almost every station.
[07:29] haya
    It's one of the pleasures of traveling...
[07:31] haya
    as they have special varieties, depending on which station you're in.
[07:33] nagi
    I see.
[07:36] nagi
    All right!
[07:37] ---
    I'm going to buy one too.
[07:39] haya
    Wait, Ojou-sama! When did you get off?!
[07:43] mari
    Anyway, your wallet is in here! Get back on!
[07:47] nagi
    I hear ya, I hear ya. Why are you getting so worked up?
[07:51] nagi
    I listened to what Hayate said and I've got my ticket right here,
[07:55] ---
    so there's nothing to worry about.
[07:59] haya
    Ojou-sama!
[08:04] nagi
    Huh?
[08:07] narr
    This means...
[08:09] nagi
    I'm lost.
[08:13] nagi
    Hayate isn't here. Maria isn't here either. I don't have my cellphone or any money.
[08:18] nagi
    I'm in an unknown area, in an unknown location, all alone...
[08:22] nagi
    Well, these twists happen, I suppose!
[08:27] nagi
    It's not an issue. It'll just make me more resilient!
[08:31] nagi
    And I've got my ticket right here, just like Hayate told me!
[08:34] nagi
    With this, I've got nothing to worry abou-
[08:38] nagi
    Wait! Without my ticket... without my ticket, I...
[08:43] nagi
    I told you to wait!
SIGN    Consolation Prize - Restart from Previous Life
[08:48] nagi
    Are you mocking me?!
[08:53] nagi
    Where am I?
[09:01] narr
    She's even more lost now.
[09:05] narr
    Sherpas, masters of mountain-climbing and guides to the remote Himalayas,
[09:10] narr
    say that when you're lost, you should try to stay in the same place as much as you can.
[09:15] narr
    It's dangerous to wander around aimlessly when danger could be lurking around every corner!
[09:21] nagi
    Hayate... Where are you?!
[09:26] narr
    It's dangerous to wander around aimlessly!
[09:27] ---
    Hayate!
[09:33] mari
    Wait, Hayate-kun!
[09:34] haya
    Please let go, Maria-san! Ojou-sama is... Ojou-sama!
[09:38] mari
    No! I said no!
[09:40] haya
    Don't worry! Jumping off at this speed won't even slow me down!
[09:45] mari
    No! That's crazy!
[09:46] ---
    Do you think they'll allow this on an anime TV show?! Hayate-kun?!
[09:50] haya
    You know as well as I do that Ojou-sama manages to get into trouble...
[09:54] ---
    three times faster than normal people!
[09:56] mari
    Then, just ask them to stop the train...
[09:59] haya
    What are you talking about, Maria-san?
[10:01] ---
    Doing that would cost tens of millions of yen!
[10:06] mari
    Oh, you can stop it that cheaply?
[10:10] narr
    A fundamental difference in financial sensibilities...
[10:14] haya
    Oh no! I'm really worried about Ojou-sama,
[10:18] haya
    but Maria-san's common sense is also totally out-of-whack!
[10:23] narr
    Says the guy who wants to jump out of a moving train!
[10:30] haya
    I can't do this!
[10:31] ---
    Leaving Maria-san by herself is much too dangerous!
[10:35] mari
    I don't quite know why,
[10:37] ---
    but I get the feeling that a very rude monologue just took place.
[10:43] hina
    What exactly are you doing over there?
[10:46] haya
    Huh? Hinagiku-san?!
[10:47] haya
    Why are you here?
[10:49] hina
    What? Why am I here?
[10:52] hina
    No, it's not like that! I'm on a family holiday!
[10:55] hina
    It's got nothing to do with the side-effects of the meteorite falling there...
[10:57] hina
    Or something like that! I mean... Um! Um...
[11:01] haya
    What? Anyway, it's great to see you in a place like this.
[11:07] hina
    R-Really?
[11:09] haya
    Yes. But I can't stay and chat, so please take care of Maria-san for me.
[11:19] mari
    What?! Hayate-kun!
[11:21] narr
    Don't try this at home, kids. You will die.
[11:41] mari
    Hayate-kun...
[11:43] hina
    Huh? Does that mean he'd go that far to not be with me?
[11:49] narr
    This girl worries some more...
[12:00] narr
    Meanwhile, Ojou-sama is...
[12:05] nagi
    Man, I'm hungry.
[12:07] nagi
    I missed my chance to eat that packed lunch...
SIGN    Ramen Russia
[12:15] nagi
    A ramen store?
[12:24] nagi
    Um...
[12:25] guy
    You a customer, little lady?
[12:27] guy
    Then, get in this restaurant now, you little bitch!
[12:34] guy
    You want shio-ramen, am I right?
[12:38] guy
    Shio-ramen's fine by you, isn't it?!
[12:40] nagi
    Y-Yes.
[12:42] nagi
    Oops, I ordered without thinking. I don't have any money on me...
[12:48] nagi
    Should I run away before the food arrives?
[12:52] guy
    Here you go, one shio-ramen!
[12:55] nagi
    He's fast!
[12:57] nagi
    Oh no. I can't run away now.
[13:03] nagi
    That's right! Maybe I should complain?
[13:06] ---
    I saw this program on TV...
[13:08] nagi
    where people would complain about something and got away without paying the bill!
[13:13] nagi
    But, am I capable of doing something so evil?
[13:17] ---
    No!
[13:18] nagi
    But it's my only way out...
[13:23] nagi
    D-Delicious...
[13:28] nagi
    I can't do it. I can't complain about something this tasty.
[13:32] nagi
    But I don't have any money... At this rate, I'll... I'll be executed...
[13:43] guy
    You're crying? You were touched by my ramen?
[13:48] guy
    Then, for you, little lady - it's free!
[13:55] nish
    What? I'm still only here?
[14:07] nish
    H-Hayate-kun!
[14:09] nish
    Will you go into a picture booth with me?
[14:11] haya
    But I've got to get to Hamamatsu in a couple of hours for my bike delivery job.
[14:16] nis
    This won't take long! Come on, we have to commemorate this!
[14:19] haya
    Commemorate what?
[14:22] nis
    Um, that you're going away for your job...
[14:26] nis
    Anyway, just a quick one will do!
[14:28] haya
    Hey, Nishizawa-san!
[14:35] nis
    Hayate-kun...
[14:40] narr
    You can't have fantasies on an empty stomach...
[14:45] guy
    So? Why are you in a place like this without a yen in your pocket, little lady?
[14:51] nagi
    Hm, I'm not like Isumi, so I can't just tell him I got lost... Not at my age...
[14:57] nagi
    But, I guess it'll be difficult for Hayate to find me quickly...
[15:02] nagi
    There's no other way. I'll have to swallow my pride and...
[15:07] nagi
    Um, so...
[15:09] nagi
    To tell you the truth, I...
[15:15] nis
    You're...
[15:17] nagi
    Nothing! I didn't get lost or anything.
[15:21] ---
    Anyway, the ramen was yummy. See ya!
[15:26] nis
    Um.
[15:28] nagi
    Damn, stupid hamster!
[15:32] nis
    Hey, why are you calling me a stupid hamster?!
[15:34] nis
    Hey, wait up!
[15:36] nagi
    Shut up! Don't follow me, idiot! Geez!
[15:40] haya
    This is Ojou-sama's ticket.
[15:42] haya
    That means she really did get lost in the short period of time since we were separated.
[15:47] haya
    This is bad.
[15:48] ---
    I have to find her quickly, or she'll end up in trouble again...
[15:54] nis
    So basically, you got separated from Hayate-kun...
[15:57] nis
    on the way to Shimoda on the Izu Peninsula and now you're lost and alone?
[16:01] nagi
    I guess that's one way to summarize it.
[16:04] nis
    So, in short, you screwed up.
SIGN    This is the Sanzenin's private road.
[16:06] nagi
    Don't put it like that!
[16:09] nis
    Sheesh, if you'd told me that earlier,
[16:12] nis
    we could have waited at the last station for someone to come and get you.
[16:16] nagi
    Shut up.
[16:17] nis
    Here, you can use my cellphone to call someone from your house.
[16:25] nis
    What? You don't even know the number?
[16:28] nagi
    That's not it! I... um...
[16:33] nagi
    Th...
[16:36] nagi
    Tha...
[16:38] nagi
    Thank... you...
[16:41] nis
    You'd have a cute side if you were always that forthright.
[16:46] nagi
    What was that?!
[16:48] nis
    Hey, you idiot! Don't do that when you're on the back!
[16:51] nis
    Just stop yelling and make the call already.
[16:54] nagi
    You don't have to tell me that.
[16:59] nagi
    What's this?!
[17:00] nis
    Hey, why are you looking at my picture?!
[17:04] nis
    I'm going to tell you this in no uncertain terms. Hayate is mine.
[17:08] nis
    Whatever. I bet he'll get bored of a selfish Ojou-sama like you and leave anyway.
[17:15] nagi
    What did you just say?!
[17:16] ---
    By the way, why are you riding your bike here anyway?!
[17:20] nagi
    Where are you trying to get to?
[17:22] nis
    Where? The Shimoda hot springs, of course.
[17:27] nagi
    Don't you know how to read a map?
    Do you know how far away it is?
[17:33] nis
    It's fine! It's easy! If I put my mind to it,
    I'll make it there by nightfall.
[17:38] nis
    No way. A hamster like you could never make it.
[17:43] nis
    I will make it! Anyway, make that call already!
[17:46] nagi
    You don't have to tell me that!
[17:52] hina
    I haven't talked to you in a long time.
[17:55] mari
    You're right. It's been years.
[18:00] mari
    So, a family outing to the hot springs?
[18:02] hina
    Yes, my sister can't come because of work,
[18:06] hina
    but my father wouldn't take no for an answer because he missed my birthday.
[18:11] mari
    He's such a child.
[18:15] hina
    He's like my sister.
[18:17] mari
    But I'm glad that you're getting along with your parents.
[18:23] hina
    Well, it's been a long time.
[18:25] hina
    Anyway, putting that to one side..
[18:28] ---
    I'm feeling troubled at the moment,
[18:31] hina
    so that's why I wanted to get away.
[18:35] mari
    Huh?
SIGN    Meteor Strike on the Izu peninsula?! Strange effects at the Shimoda Hot Springs!
[18:37] rep
    These effects include:
[18:39] rep
    Enhanced breast size for women...
[18:47] mari
    I-It's fine. A woman's beauty doesn't depend on her growth in certain areas or anything like that...
[18:53] hina
    Wh-What are you talking about?! That's not it at all...
[18:57] mari
    I-I didn't mean that...
[19:01] hina
    Oh, yes you did. You looked straight at that part of my body!
[19:08] hina
    N-No. To get back on topic... it's all to do with love.
[19:15] hina
    I'm rooting for you.
[19:20] hina
    It's the most important day of the year.
[19:25] hina
    Um, this isn't about me, but I...
[19:30] ---
    I have this friend! My friend, you see?
[19:35] mari
    A friend... I see...
[19:43] nagi
    Oh, Maria, it's me.
[19:45] mari
    Nagi?
[19:47] mari
    Where on earth are you?
[19:50] nagi
    Me? I'm currently following the tracks your way.
SIGN    I'll say this again. This is the Sanzenin's private road!
[19:55] nagi
    Don't worry. The train stops at Atami next, right?
[20:00] nagi
    I've picked up a Hamster-brand mercenary, so I'll head that way.
[20:04] ---
    You guys wait for me there.
[20:06] nis
    What? Am I really supposed to take you to Atami on this?
[20:12] nagi
    Hey! So what? Were you planning to leave me on the roadside by myself?
[20:16] nis
    Okay, okay! You really are one selfish Ojou-sama!
[20:20] mari
    But Hayate-kun's on the way to pick you up now.
[20:24] nagi
    What? Hayate's coming for me?
[20:27] ---
    I guess we missed each other then.
[20:29] mari
    Oh, hang on. I've got another call.
[20:33] mari
    It might be Hayate-kun, so please hold the line.
[20:36] nagi
    Oh, just what I expect from Hayate.
[20:38] nis
    Huh? So Hayate-kun's coming?
[20:41] nagi
    Of course he is. After all, he's my butler,
[20:46] ---
    so he's bound to rush to my rescue.
[20:48] nis
    Yeah, right.
[20:52] nis
    What should I do?
[20:53] ---
    I'm happy I'm gonna get to see him, but I'm in a tracksuit.
[20:57] ---
    Geez!
[20:58] nis
    And White Day is almost here too.
[21:01] ---
    I wanted to look nicer when I see him.
[21:05] nis
    Ah, I want to die...
[21:19] nis
    Ah! They look just like scary hitmen...
[21:23] ---
    I wonder if they're on their way
    home from a fancy dress party.
[21:25] nagi
    I bet they are.
[21:27] ---
    Their guns make me nervous, but I'm sure they're just props for a magic show.
[21:32] ass1
    Excuse me. Could I possibly ask you a rather strange question?
[21:35] nis
    Y-Yes?
[21:37] ass1
    We're hitmen. Which one of you is Nagi Sanzenin?
[21:42] nis
    He just said they were hitmen!
[21:44] ass2
    It says here to look for pigtails.
[21:47] ass3
    But they both have pigtails.
[21:52] ass2
    Then, let's just do away with both.
[22:00] nagi
    What are you doing? I dropped the cellphone!
[22:04] nis
    Now's not the time to be worrying about that!
[22:10] haya
    I see. So, I just have to go down this road, right, Maria-san?
[22:13] mari
    Yes, please take care of it, Hayate-kun.
[22:17] haya
    Yes, leave it to me.
[22:22] narr
    The journey to the hot springs continues with many different expectations and desires,
[22:26] narr
    for those traveling by train, by bike, and for the butler himself.
[24:06] nagi
    Goddamn. Why did the train leave without me?
[24:10] nagi
    If it was bound for Andromeda,
    it would have waited an entire day!
[24:12] haya
    This isn't the Galaxy Express.
[24:15] nagi
    So, you're telling me that the conductor
    isn't actually an invisible man,
[24:19] nagi
    that the trains are horrendously bad in space battles when they merge,
[24:22] nagi
    and that every railroad company doesn't have its own token hottie?
[24:25] haya
    It looks like you really liked the train...
[24:28] haya
    The next episode of Hayate the Combat Butler will be entitled Stardust Memory.
[24:31] nagi
    We'll finally get to Izu's hot springs!