11 - Around the Time of the Hina Festival

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:36] Hayate
    Happy birthday, Hinagiku-san.
[01:40] hina
    What? H-Hayate-kun?
[01:43] Hayate
    I thought long and hard about what to get you for your sixteenth birthday.
[01:48] hina
    Oh, th-thank you...
[01:50] Hayate
    And as a result, my present is...
SIGN    March 1st
[02:00] narr
    Of course, that was all a dream.
[02:07] hina
    I don't believe myself sometimes...
[02:09] hina
    What a stupid dream to have.
[02:12] hina
    Sheesh. What am I doing night after night?
[02:16] narr
    This is how the morning of a troubled girl plays out.
[02:19] narr
    Hinagiku's birthday is only days away!
SIGN    Around the Time of the Hina Festival
[02:32] hina
    Lately, I've been thinking that something might be wrong with me.
[02:36] hina
    Every night, my mind keeps wandering to a certain boy.
[02:44] hina
    Maybe it's making me absentminded and stopping me from relaxing.
[02:51] hina
    This has never happened before.
[02:54] hina
    Could this be...
[03:00] hina
    love?
[03:00] hina
    Note: In Japanese, "love" and "carp" are the same word.
[03:02] hina
    Definitely not!
[03:04] hina
    No! That's just impossible! There's no way that I...
[03:08] hina
    But I definitely think about him a lot.
[03:12] hina
    And if there's something about him that catches my attention, then it's because...
[03:16] hina
    Hey Sis, where have Mom and Dad gone?
[03:21] hina
    If there's a reason for thinking about him all the time, then it must be...
[03:25] Hayate
    Oh, isn't that Hinagiku-san?
[03:32] hina
    Sneaking up on me from behind. You're pretty good.
[03:36] Hayate
    You realize you're not a sniper with an unknown nationality, don't you?
[03:40] hina
    Never mind that. You're going home pretty late today.
[03:44] hay
    Yes. Ojou-sama was helping me with my studies in the study room.
[03:49] hina
    Studies? Ayasaki-kun, are your grades that bad?
[03:53] Hayate
    Yes, it's a little embarrassing, but I don't know if I'll even pass the year or not.
[03:58] hina
    Hang on... are you going to be okay? Isn't that going to be a serious problem?
[04:03] Hayate
    Yeah, I think that's a good way to sum it up.
[04:06] Hayate
    I'm not okay at all. What should I do?
[04:10] hina
    You're asking me what you should do?
[04:14] hina
    Why do I dream about this loser every night?
[04:19] hina
    I'm restless, I'm preoccupied, and my head's full of weird fantasies,
[04:24] hina
    so this guy should...
[04:26] hina
    be more reliable! Do you hear what I'm saying?!
[04:30] nagi
    Hayate, have you gone and done something wrong again?!
[04:33] Hayate
    I don't remember, but it's definitely possible!
[04:36] Hayate
    I think I have done something wrong!
[04:37] Hayate
    No, I'm sure I must have done something!
[04:39] hina
    In any case!
[04:40] hina
    I'm not going to forgive you if you flunk, understand?!
[04:45] Hayate
    Y-Yes.
[04:50] Hayate
    Ojou-sama, call it a hunch, but I think things will probably get worse if I leave it at that.
[04:56] nagi
    What? Oh, right.
[04:58] Hayate
    May I go and apologize to her real quick?
[05:02] nagi
    Sure, but what for?
[05:07] Hayate
    I don't know, but as a man, I'll think about the reason after I've bowed my head.
[05:14] nagi
    Oh! Hayate just said something really uncool with an awesome expression on his face.
[05:23] hina
    I knew I was just imagining things!
[05:25] hina
    There's no way that I'm really thinking about Hayate-kun.
[05:30] hina
    No, if there's something bugging me, it's gotta be...
[05:33] Hayate
    Hinagiku-san!
[05:35] hina
    Ayasaki-kun?
[05:37] Hayate
    I... um...
[05:40] hina
    If there's something bugging me, then that's all it is...
[05:44] hina
    Ayasaki-kun, can I ask you a question?
[05:48] Hayate
    Um, sure.
[05:50] hina
    What did you think when your parents burdened you with their debt and abandoned you?
[05:56] Hayate
    What? What did I think? I thought they were horrible parents.
[06:00] Hayate
    I thought that there was no other parents out there who were as unreliable as mine.
[06:03] Hayate
    I guess they just failed at humanity, you know. Basic humanity.
[06:05] hina
    A reason!
[06:06] Hayate
    What?
[06:07] hina
    Didn't you think that they might have had a reason for doing it?
[06:11] Hayate
    A... reason?
[06:13] hina
    That's right! They were so kind but then they disappeared all of a sudden.
[06:17] hina
    There must have been a reason... A reason!
[06:22] Hayate
    No, there wasn't.
[06:24] Hayate
    Even if there had been one, it wouldn't change the fact that they abandoned me.
[06:28] hina
    You're right.
[06:30] hina
    I'm sorry for asking such a strange question.
[06:33] hina
    What kind of answer was I hoping for?
[06:36] hina
    It's not like I could have done anything about it...
[06:39] narr
    That's when the boy thought:
[06:41] narr
    "There's something I really have to tell this girl!"
[06:45] narr
    This boy felt that everything would end if he didn't tell her right now!
[06:51] narr
    That's why...
[06:52] Hayate
    Hinagiku-san!
[06:54] hina
    Wh-What?
[06:55] Hayate
    Er, um, I mean...
[06:59] hina
    You mean what?
[07:01] Hayate
    I have to say it now! The thing I'm supposed to tell her!
[07:04] Hayate
    I don't have to bow my head, but I have to tell Hinagiku-san!
[07:08] Hayate
    And it's...
[07:11] hina
    Wh-What is it?
[07:18] Hayate
    The only difference between whales and dolphins is their size.
[07:24] hina
    Huh? So what?
[07:26] Hayate
    Er, I mean... I was trying to cheer you up...
[07:29] narr
    In fact, what he wanted to tell her wasn't a tidbit of trivia!
[07:32] hina
    So, you use Trivial Pursuit answers to cheer people up.
[07:36] Hayate
    Please don't look at me with that murderous glare of yours!
[07:40] hina
    The reason for constantly thinking about him...
[07:47] hina
    It doesn't even seem to matter anymore.
SIGN    March 2nd
[07:55] saku
    What's this?
[07:57] saku
    I know that people put out Hina dolls because tomorrow's the Hina Doll Festival,
[08:01] saku
    but why are there two empresses here?
[08:03] iori
    Be careful touching them, Sakuya.
[08:07] iori
    These are cursed Hina dolls.
[08:09] iori
    If you touch the wrong one and break the seal on it, something terrible will happen.
[08:16] saku
    Cursed Hina dolls, you say?
[08:21] saku
    Oops?
[08:22] iori
    Don't break the neck under any circumstances.
[08:25] iori
    If you break the neck and break the seal,
[08:27] iori
    the unluckiest person in the surrounding area...
[08:31] iori
    will become the victim of a horrible curse.
[08:37] iori
    What did I just say?!
[08:38] saku
    I'm sorry!
[08:45] Hayate
    What's this watch?
[08:48] mari
    Nagi got it for Hinagiku's birthday.
[08:51] nagi
    If my butler is going to give her something, I can't let myself be upstaged, right?
[08:56] Hayate
    May I trouble you to tell me how much it was?
[08:58] nagi
    Only around three hundred thousand yen.
[09:00] Hayate
    I-I'm sorry! It's all my fault that...
[09:03] nagi
    Yes, it is.
[09:06] nagi
    It's your fault...
[09:08] nagi
    Even though it cost next to nothing...
[09:11] nagi
    it's still an unnecessary expense!
[09:13] mari
    Now, now. You don't have to be so mean...
[09:16] mari
    just because you don't like the fact that Hayate-kun's giving her a present.
[09:19] nagi
    Oh well.
[09:21] nagi
    But, don't forget! If it wasn't for me, you'd be the unluckiest guy in the universe!
[09:29] Hayate
    What was with the special effects just now?
[09:32] nagi
    Who knows? The director probably screwed up.
[09:37] Hayate
    Well, anyway...
[09:42] Hayate
    I'll get back to my cleaning.
SIGN    Ba-dump Ba-dump
[09:44] nagi
    Maria, I just saw something terrifying...
[09:48] mari
    I think we must just be overworked.
[09:53] narr
    Hayate has undergone a sudden transformation.
[09:55] narr
    He looks a bit like a maid! No, he's actually a maid!
[10:00] narr
    We'll continue this nerdy plot twist in the second half!
[10:19] nagi
    What do you think, Maria?
[10:21] mari
    Well, the only explanation is...
[10:23] mari
    that something inside Hayate-kun has awakened.
[10:26] nagi
    Well, if you consider that he looks pretty good in those clothes, it's not really a problem, but...
[10:31] mari
    Anyway, I think the storyline's about to get complicated, so why don't you go up to your room for now?
[10:36] nagi
    Gotcha. Thanks.
[10:37] nagi
    But, please tell him, if wants to dress like that, it's A-OK with me!
[10:41] mari
    I understand...
[10:44] mari
    Hayate-kun?
[10:45] Hayate
    Yes?
[10:46] Hayate
    Can I help you, Maria-san?
[10:48] mari
    Um, Hayate-kun, have you ever thought that you might be different from other people?
[10:54] mari
    Like, for example... your hobbies?
[10:59] Hayate
    What? My hobbies?
[11:02] Hayate
    Hm, let's see...
[11:04] ---
    I think I'm pretty normal really,
[11:07] ---
    but even if I did have different hobbies from others,
[11:10] Hayate
    I think I'd still be proud to show them off if I really liked them!
[11:14] ---
    I didn't realize his conviction was so strong about this!
[11:17] mari
    W-Well, Nagi and I are completely fine with...
[11:21] mari
    your choice of clothing, so...
[11:26] Hayate
    What?
[11:40] Hayate
    What is this?!
[11:42] Hayate
    Maria-san! Why did you put a maid outfit on me?!
[11:45] mari
    It wasn't me, I swear!
[11:47] Hayate
    This is terrible!
[11:49] saku
    Looks like we were too late.
[11:50] isu
    Yes.
[11:51] Hayate
    Isumi-san! And Sakuya-san!
[11:55] Hayate
    What? I've been cursed by a Hina doll?
[11:58] isu
    Yes.
[11:59] isu
    A long time ago, there was a doll maker in the service of the Royal Court...
[12:03] isu
    who enjoyed cross-dressing. Then...
[12:07] make
    When I came to, I had decked an Emperor Doll in a twelve-layered ceremonial kimono!
[12:11] isu
    Everyone in the court gossiped about how amazingly gross the doll was.
[12:14] isu
    After that, his misfortune led to his embezzling ways being discovered,
[12:17] isu
    and the doll maker was executed by decapitation.
[12:22] make
    I wish I could have cross-dressed at least once...
SIGN    Due to various reasons, we can't show this scene.
[12:28] isu
    And his final wish had such conviction that it became a curse...
[12:31] isu
    making unlucky people dress like girls.
[12:35] mari
    Embezzlement... That's not a story we can empathize with.
[12:41] Hayate
    But anyway, why a maid outfit of all things?
[12:44] isu
    I think that's because of his tastes.
[12:49] isu
    I suppose he thought it would suit you.
[12:52] saku
    Well, he definitely got that bit right.
[12:54] isu
    But, we can't just sit around and enjoy looking at him.
[12:57] isu
    If we don't lift the curse before the Hina Festival is over...
[13:00] Hayate
    What happens then?!
[13:02] isu
    You'll be a cross-dresser for the rest of your life!
[13:06] Hayate
    What a strange curse...
[13:08] isu
    Indeed.
[13:09] Hayate
    Is there a way to lift the curse?
[13:12] isu
    Yes. To lift the curse, you must defeat the Hina Doll of the Hina Doll stand.
[13:16] isu
    Which means, you have to beat the master of the highest building in the surrounding area!
[13:23] hina
    Hypothetically speaking... only hypothetically...
[13:26] hina
    And I mean this is really unlikely - no, ultra unlikely
    - no, even more unlikely than that...
[13:32] hina
    It's completely impossible, but just as a hypothesis...
[13:37] hina
    What if I... am in love with Hayate-kun?
[13:43] hina
    It's only a hypothesis! So, it's all hypothetically speaking!
[13:47] hina
    Even if this one in a thousand - no, one in a million possibility were true...
[13:51] hina
    I promised that I would root for her. So...
[13:55] rin
    Looks like the cogs in your head are working overtime.
[13:57] hina
    You're the priest from before.
[14:02] rin
    Seeing as how you can still see me, I can use this opportunity to offer you some holy advice.
[14:07] hina
    I don't think I need advice...
[14:10] rin
    The things people can do in one lifetime are limited.
[14:13] rin
    So, instead of worrying, it's better to act.
[14:15] rin
    And if you don't even know what you're worried about,
[14:18] rin
    then you just have to close your eyes and think hard about it.
[14:21] ---
    If you can be true to your own heart, you should be able...
[14:23] rin
    to see what path lies ahead for you.
[14:27] hina
    Be true to my own heart...
[14:32] Hayate
    Anyway, the tallest building in the area is probably Hakuou's...
[14:38] isu
    ...Garden Gate, right?
[14:40] Hayate
    Which means that the master of the Hina Doll stand is...
[14:42] isu
    ...the Student Council President.
[14:45] saku
    You're lucky.
[14:47] saku
    It's someone you know, so you can just explain the
    circumstances and she'll lose on purpose for you, right?
[14:51] Hayate
    Yes, I think that'll work. She's a very kind person.
[14:55] Hayate
    Well, it is embarrassing going to meet her dressed like this...
[14:58] Hayate
    but I don't want the other students to see me like this either,
[15:00] Hayate
    so I'll ask her to come to the Student Council office at night.
[15:03] mari
    But, Hayate-kun... Tomorrow evening, one of Hakuou Gakuin's traditional events,
[15:08] mari
    the Hina Festival Festival is taking place, so there will be lots of people, even though it'll be nighttime.
SIGN    The Hina Festival Festival
[15:12] Hayate
    There'll be lots of people there?
[15:14] mari
    Yeah, a few.
[15:16] Hayate
    If I don't defeat her on the Hina Doll stand, the curse...
[15:19] isu
    ...won't be lifted.
[15:21] Hayate
    I can't stay dressed like this forever,
[15:24] Hayate
    so I'm going to do my best to get back to normal!
[15:27] saku
    Well, it suits you surprisingly well, so I don't think there's any particular rush to lift the curse.
[15:34] Hayate
    O-Of course there is!
[15:36] saku
    But, it's surprisingly quite well received.
[15:39] mari
    Yeah...
[15:40] Hayate
    Maria-san, please don't agree with them!
[15:42] saku
    And besides, I've been wondering for a while now.
[15:47] ---
    What have you got under your skirt?
[15:52] Hayate
    What are you getting at?
[15:53] saku
    Well, you know. I just want a quick peek.
[15:59] Hayate
    Whoa! Whoa! What do you think you're doing?!
[16:00] saku
    Come on, it's fine! It's fine!
[16:02] Hayate
    If you do that, I'll... I'll...
[16:04] saku
    Sorry, sorry. My bad.
[16:06] saku
    Well, this is my fault, so I'll help you out. Right, Isumi-san?
[16:11] isu
    Yes. I'll explain everything to the Student Council President.
[16:15] Hayate
    I-I'd really appreciate that.
[16:20] Hayate
    This is unbelievable.
[16:22] mari
    Yes. I think I've finally grasped the situation, but...
[16:27] Hayate
    But?
[16:28] mari
    You don't need to make up such an unbelievable story about the occult and such if you want to cross-dress,
[16:35] mari
    you could just have told me...
[16:36] Hayate
    Wait a minute! You haven't grasped the situation at all, Maria-san!
[16:41] mari
    Well, I guess a change of pace might be good if you're tired of your normal life, right?
[16:45] Hayate
    No, it's not "right"!
[16:47] Hayate
    Oh no! If Hinagiku-san doesn't let me win tomorrow, Maria-san will never...
[16:52] Hayate
    No, it'll be fine! I'm sure that Hinagiku-san will let me win!
[16:57] hina
    If I'm true to my own heart,
    then I'll understand why I'm feeling so weird?
[17:02] rin
    Yes. If you banish all your doubts, it should automatically become apparent...
[17:07] rin
    what your heart truly desires.
[17:10] hina
    What my heart desires...
[17:13] hina
    What my heart...
[17:15] hina
    truly desires...
[17:20] hina
    Got it.
[17:21] rin
    You understand now?
[17:23] hin
    Why couldn't I see this simple feeling before?
[17:27] rin
    People have a hard time admitting their true feelings to themselves.
[17:32] rin
    But then, that's what love's all about.
[17:35] hina
    It's because we never settled our score!
[17:37] rin
    Settled your score?
[17:38] hina
    Yes. Our battle ended without a clear result.
[17:43] hina
    I bet I was feeling uneasy because
    I hadn't settled the score with him!
[17:48] rin
    That's certainly an original interpretation.
[17:50] hina
    I see, I see. I knew it was weird.
[17:53] hina
    I was all worked up because it felt like he'd quit while he was ahead. That must be it!
[17:56] isu
    Um...
[17:58] hina
    What? Oh, you're...
[18:01] isu
    Um, I've brought you this from Hayate-sama...
[18:04] letter
    To the Student Council President
[18:04] hina
    What? A letter?
[18:06] isu
    Yes. I can't explain the situation very well,
    so I put the main points in writing.
[18:11] hina
    Hm, let's see...
[18:14] letter
    Tomorrow night at 9 o'clock
    One on one!
    Meet at the top of the Haukou Gakuin Clock Tower
    and let's fight (Bring weapons)
    The winner will be Hayate-sama
[18:17] isu
    Um... the details should become clearer when you get there.
[18:21] hina
    I see. So, this is a letter of challenge.
[18:23] isu
    What?
[18:23] hina
    I give my respect to the Sanzenin's butler.
[18:26] hina
    To think that he'd already read my mind!
[18:28] isu
    Um, no, that's not how it is...
[18:30] hina
    But I'll be the winner!
[18:33] hina
    Let us fight fair and square.
[18:35] isu
    Wait, no... if you don't lose...
[18:39] rin
    It's quite difficult to get across to someone what you really want.
SIGN    March 3rd
[18:43] narr
    It's March 3rd. The day of the Hina Festival Festival is here!
[18:53] Hayate
    Hm, this is a difficult plan.
[18:57] Hayate
    It's a near-impossible mission to get to the clock tower without being seen by anyone.
[19:02] saku
    Anyway, what's with that getup?
[19:05] wata
    More importantly, where's Isumi?
[19:06] wata
    I came here because she asked me to come.
[19:09] saku
    Oh, we came together,
[19:11] saku
    but she didn't even manage to appear in a scene with us before she got lost.
[19:14] Hayate
    That's a new record.
[19:17] Hayate
    But what's this Hina Festival Festival about, anyway?
[19:20] Hayate
    Unlike the marathon last time, this event looks fun.
[19:24] wata
    Did you really think that all five events were going to be all-out competitions?
[19:28] wata
    It's the opposite of Valentine's Day,
[19:30] wata
    so basically, it's a festival where guys ask girls to dance so they can make some lasting memories.
[19:35] wata
    Well, as it's also the last festival of the year, it may also be their last chance to make some lasting memories.
[19:39] Hayate
    Their last chance?
[19:40] wata
    For the people who flunk their exams and get expelled.
[19:43] Hayate
    It's really unlikeable in a traditional sense, huh?
[19:46] Hayate
    Anyway, if I don't make it through this, I have no future.
[19:50] Hayate
    I have to get to the clock tower by nine!
[19:53] izu
    What are you doing, Hayata-kun?
[19:56] Hayate
    S-Segawa-san?!
[19:58] izu
    Oh, what's up with that coat?
    Are you cosplaying or something?
[20:01] Hayate
    I-It's nothing. I'm not hiding anything!
[20:05] ---
    Pardon?
[20:07] izu
    Hiding, you say?
[20:12] izu
    Hayata-kun, you shouldn't be wearing a coat in the middle of summer.
[20:16] hay
    Um, it's only March...
[20:18] izu
    What have you got on underneath? Let me see!
[20:24] Hayate
    No!
[20:26] izu
    Why not?
[20:28] saku
    There he goes.
[20:30] wata
    So, what does he have underneath there?
[20:38] Hayate
    I think I finally lost her.
[20:42] tea
    Damn. All the guys and girls here are having fun because it's a festival.
[20:46] tea
    Isn't my destiny lying around here somewhere, waiting for me?
[20:51] tea
    What? I'm sorry!
[20:54] Hayate
    Ow...
[20:56] tea
    This is destiny calling.
[21:00] Hayate
    What?
[21:00] tea
    Wh-What's your name?!
[21:03] tea
    Young lady!
[21:04] hay
    Huh? M-My name?
[21:05] hay
    It's Ayasaki... Ha... Ha!
[21:07] tea
    Ayasaki... Ha?! What's the rest?!
[21:10] Hayate
    Well, it's... um, I mean...
[21:16] Hayate
    It's Hermione Ayasaki!
[21:19] tea
    That sounds like a witch's name.
[21:22] Hayate
    This is bad.
[21:23] Hayate
    I never thought that someone would see me like this.
[21:25] Hayate
    Luckily, he seems to think I'm a girl.
    If he found out that I'm actually a guy...
[21:30] narr
    He'd think that you're a cross-dressing pervert
    who stalks around the school at night?
[21:35] Hayate
    No way! I can't let him get the wrong impression!
[21:38] Hayate
    I have to make up some excuse and get out of here immediately!
[21:42] Hayate
    I've got a lot of stuff to do, so...
[21:44] tea
    Oh! Please wait!
[21:46] hay
    What is it?
[21:50] tea
    Will you dance with me?
[21:53] Hayate
    No freaking way.
[21:55] Hayate
    I have to go now, so please find someone else.
[21:58] tea
    Ah! You didn't have to react so coldly. But that's the way I like it!
[22:02] Hayate
    Which is it?
[22:04] tea
    I'm serious here!
[22:05] tea
    I've fallen in love with you!
[22:14] hina
    So, this weird feeling in my stomach will disappear tonight.
[22:17] hina
    Hayate-kun, we're going to settle this!
[22:22] narr
    How will the battle between Hayate and Hinagiku end?
[22:26] narr
    And thinking about it, will Hayate fight in that maid outfit?
[22:30] narr
    The tumultuous night has just begun.
[24:07] nagi
    I don't know how to say this, but that maid outfit looks really good on you.
[24:10] Hayate
    This is a step backwards!
[24:11] Hayate
    But if I really can't lift the curse, I'm going to be a cross-dresser forever.
[24:14] nagi
    You fool! Humanity has always been fascinated by and longed for beauty!
[24:18] nagi
    To throw such beauty away is an act of insolence!
[24:21] nagi
    Why can't you see that it would be an astronomical loss?!
[24:23] Hayate
    Wh-What have I done?!
[24:25] Hayate
    No way in hell I'm losing!
[24:27] haya
    The next episode of Hayate the Combat Butler is entitled A Cruel Idiot's Thesis.
[24:30] nagi
    And Hayate will look even more risqué.