E4 - Bzzt! VF Gloves are Thriving?!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Ibuki
    My name is Kouji Ibuki.
[00:04] Ibuki
    Not to brag, but I'm an ace Vanguard fighter.
[00:09] Ibuki
    I have been left behind with Suiko Tatsunagi,
    a woman who's scary when she's angry,
[00:13] Ibuki
    in a world where Sanctuary exists.
[00:17] Ibuki
    Worse, we have to travel through time
[00:18] Ibuki
    along with Aichi Sendou's little sister and
    her partner, who transform into magical girls,
[00:22] Ibuki
    and help them to exorcise Jammers that
    cause distortions in different time periods.
[00:27] Ibuki
    So then, which distortion and time period
    are lying in wait for us today?
[02:10] Ibuki
    There's been nothing else from
    the Akashic Book since that day?
[02:17] Ibuki
    How long are we supposed to live like this?!
[02:22] Suiko
    Until all of the distortions have
    been corrected. You know that.
[02:28] Ibuki
    How can you be so nonchalant about it?!
[02:30] Ibuki
    And why on earth is this place such a pigsty?!
[02:35] Suiko
    Because you don't clean up.
[02:38] Ibuki
    Me?! It's my fault?!
[02:41] Ibuki
    You haven't done anything to clean up, either!
[02:44] Suiko
    Do you seriously...
[02:48] Suiko
    ...expect a top idol to act like a maid?
[02:51] Ibuki
    So cleaning's beneath you,
    but not slurping up noodle soup?
[02:55] Suiko
    Could you pipe down?
[02:57] Ibuki
    Now what?
[02:59] Suiko
    Something just occurred to me.
[03:01] Suiko
    What if the Akashic Book--
[03:17] Suiko
    Where are we?
[03:21] Ibuki
    Well? What's the distortion this time?
[03:23] Suiko
    Isn't searching for distortions your job?
[03:27] Ibuki
    I've been wondering this for a while,
    but you don't have any friends, do you?!
[03:33] Suiko
    More friends than you.
[03:36] Interviewer
    Today's guest has had great success
    in business while still in high school!
[03:41] Interviewer
    Let's welcome Tetsu Shinjou.
[03:44] Tetsu
    Vwish!
SIGN    if 4
     Bzzt! VF Gloves are Thriving?!
[03:54] Ibuki
    He's a high school entrepreneur?
[03:58] Interviewer
    Your VF Gloves are a global
    health equipment phenomenon!
[04:03] Interviewer
    What was your inspiration for them?
[04:05] Tetsu
    It's been my lifelong dream
    to make the whole world healthy.
[04:09] Ibuki
    "Make the whole world healthy"? Seriously?
[04:17] Ibuki
    Let's go!
[04:18] Suiko
    Why are you so upset?
SIGN    Private Tutoring School
[04:27] Suiko
    So we must be back when Tetsu Shinjou
    was still a high school student, right?
[04:31] Ibuki
    Yeah.
[04:33] Ibuki
    Around now, he should be acting cocky about
    the militant group he founded, Team Asteroid.
[04:39] Suiko
    Team Asteroid...
[04:41] Ibuki
    "Winners get all! Losers get lost!"
[04:44] Ibuki
    That's the motto they used as they invaded
    local shops, trashing the strongest fighters.
[04:49] Ibuki
    Using those VF Gloves...
[04:52] Suiko
    VF Gloves aren't a health gimmick?
[04:56] Ibuki
    When they detect the motion of
    placing a card in the Damage Zone,
[04:59] Ibuki
    they deliver a painful
    electric shock... or so I recall.
[05:03] Suiko
    So that's why we're making
    a beeline for Tetsu Shinjou.
[05:08] Ibuki
    His family's card shop is just up ahead.
[05:12] Ibuki
    WHAT?!
[05:15] Bunny Girls
    V-V-V-VF Gloves feel extraordinary!
[05:19] Girls
    VF Gloves are revolutionary!
[05:21] Tetsu
    Try them for yourself!
[05:23] Girls
    Get healthy!
[05:24] Girls
    V-V-V-VF Gloves!
SIGN    Stiff Shoulders, Chills, Dry Skin, Back Pain, Insomnia, Poor Diet, Bad Knees, Dim Eyesight
[05:26] Tetsu
    Their moderate electric current
    stimulates blood circulation,
[05:28] Tetsu
    solving common health problems
    like stiff shoulders, chills, and skin issues.
[05:36] Shin
    They even cured my lumbago!
SIGN    Note: Personal Testimonial
[05:39] Shin
    Thanks to the gloves, managing the shop
    has been a breeze! Even my niece is happy!
[05:44] Tetsu
    Just call on me! I'll be waiting!
[05:48] Ibuki
    Come on!
[05:50] Suiko
    Okay.
[05:52] Tetsu
    Visitors? Without an appointment?
[05:59] Tetsu
    You're from ULTRARARE! Um...
[06:01] Suiko
    S-Suiko Tatsunagi.
[06:04] Tetsu
    I see. Well, I know just how you feel.
[06:07] Tetsu
    I'd love to have you perform
    in one of our commercials!
[06:12] Ibuki
    He thinks we're here to
    pitch him a business deal.
[06:15] Tetsu
    And you're her manager?
[06:18] Ibuki
    Who're you calling a manager?!
[06:21] Ibuki
    While you may be fabulously wealthy in this
    time period, we have to correct the distortion.
[06:26] Ibuki
    I challenge you to a game of Vanguard!
[06:28] Ibuki
    You'll fall prey to my Messiah deck!
[06:31] Tetsu
    Well, before that...
[06:32] Ibuki
    Hey!
[06:33] Tetsu
    Please check out this new product
    that I'd like Suiko to promote for us!
[06:38] Tetsu
    Vwish!
[06:39] Tetsu
    VF Gloves version XI, which come
    equipped with a phone and camera!
[06:44] Suiko/Ibuki
    Oh...
[06:46] Tetsu
    Well...
[06:48] Tetsu
    Perhaps I should show you
    what's still in the development phase.
[06:54] Ibuki
    VF Socks?!
[06:56] Ibuki
    Why did I have to try them on?!
[06:58] Suiko
    Because you're my manager, of course.
[07:00] Tetsu
    Here we go.
[07:04] Ibuki
    They really work!
[07:06] Ibuki
    A VF Belly Band?!
[07:09] Tetsu
    Switch on!
[07:10] Ibuki
    Th-This... is... really...
[07:15] Tetsu
    But wait, there's more!
[07:17] Ibuki
    A VF Headband?
[07:19] Ibuki
    Am I the only one who senses
    evil intentions behind this get-up?
[07:25] Suiko
    It's just your imagination.
[07:27] Tetsu
    Switch from off to on!
[07:30] Ibuki
    I'm starting to understand...
    why these things are such a hit--
[07:36] Tetsu
    And my favorite by far!
[07:38] Tetsu
    VF Briefs!
[07:40] Ibuki/Suiko
    VF Briefs?!
[07:42] Tetsu
    Click!
[07:44] Ibuki
    I-I can see why this one's your favorite!
[07:47] Suiko
    I don't think I can appear
    in a commercial for the briefs.
[07:51] Tetsu
    Naturally, you'd wear the ladies' version:
[07:55] Tetsu
    The VF Sexy Swimsuit!
[08:01] Ibuki
    This isn't what we're here for, Tetsu Shinjou!
[08:04] Ibuki
    VF Gloves are not for improving your health!
[08:06] Ibuki
    First of all, "VF" is supposed
    to stand for "Vanguard Fighters"!
[08:11] Tetsu
    Is that right?
[08:12] Tetsu
    Hang on a moment...
[08:16] Tetsu
    I just remembered!
[08:17] Tetsu
    It stands for "Victory Physical"!
[08:20] Ibuki
    Oh, it does?
[08:21] Suiko
    "Physical" starts with a "P"!
[08:26] Ibuki
    You have to remember, Tetsu Shinjou!
[08:28] Ibuki
    You developed the VF Gloves
    for your best friend, Ren Suzugamori!
[08:34] Tetsu
    Ren Suzugamori?
[08:37] Ibuki
    Don't you know Ren Suzugamori?
[08:41] Tetsu
    No. I've never heard that name before.
[08:45] Tetsu
    My head hurts!
[08:47] Suiko
    A Jammer might be manipulating his memories.
[08:51] Tetsu
    I don't feel so good.
[08:53] Tetsu
    Could you show yourselves out?
[08:56] Ibuki
    Not so fast!
[08:58] Ibuki
    I challenge you to a game of Vanguard!
[08:59] Tetsu
    Vanguard?
[09:02] Ibuki
    Yes! You're a Vanguard fighter, too...
[09:07] Tetsu
    Hang on. My dream is to...
    make the whole world healthy!
[09:14] Tetsu
    I'm not a Vanguard fighter!
[09:16] Ibuki
    What?
[09:18] Tetsu
    It's time for our visitors to leave.
[09:23] Ibuki
    Ow!
[09:25] Bodyguard
    Here, a souvenir!
[09:30] Ibuki
    I don't need this junk!
[09:33] Ibuki
    He's not a Vanguard fighter?
[09:36] Ibuki
    That ticks me off.
[09:38] Suiko
    Then let's look for them.
[09:40] Ibuki
    Aichi Sendou's sister and her partner?
[09:42] Suiko
    Before, even without us arranging to meet them,
     they'd show up at the time period we were in.
[09:49] Ibuki
    Yeah.
[09:51] Suiko
    Those girls travel to time periods
    in which Jammers have distorted history,
[09:55] Suiko
    so maybe the Akashic Book is sending us
    to the same ones, following after them.
[10:00] Ibuki
    Why do you think that?
[10:01] Suiko
    Consider us and those girls.
[10:03] Suiko
    Take away one group,
    and the distortion can't be corrected.
[10:09] Suiko
    If our role is to find the distortions,
    then their role is to...
[10:14] Ibuki
    Exorcise the Jammers?
[10:16] Suiko
    Yes.
[10:17] Ibuki
    Well, last time we ran into them by chance,
    but there's no guarantee we will this time.
[10:23] Suiko
    I guess you're right.
[10:31] Ibuki
    I've got an idea!
SIGN    Challenge ULTRARARE's Suiko Tatsunagi with VF Gloves
[10:46] Ibuki
    Challenge ULTRARARE's
    Suiko Tatsunagi with VF Gloves!
[10:50] Suiko
    So I have to put these on and hold
    random Vanguard fights in the street?
[10:54] Suiko
    I've never done marketing this lousy before.
[10:58] Ibuki
    Shut it! I'd do it myself if I could, but...
[11:02] Suiko
    You want to fight in these gloves?
[11:04] Ibuki
    That's not the point!
    If I were the one fighting...
[11:08] Ibuki
    ...it wouldn't draw this much of a crowd.
[11:10] Voice
    It's really her!
SIGN    Suiko Tatsunagi
[11:11] Voice
    Suiko!
[11:12] Suiko
    Naturally.
[11:14] Ibuki
    Well, you are a popular idol.
[11:16] Fan A
    Suiko, please fight me!
[11:19] Ibuki
    In addition...
[11:21] Suiko/Fan A
    Stand up, Vanguard!
[11:24] Ibuki
    ...it's extremely rare for people in this world
     to wear VF Gloves while Cardfighting.
[11:30] Suiko
    It's pretty rare in our world, too.
[11:34] Suiko
    I ride!
[11:35] Suiko
    Marking Celestial, Arabhaki!
[11:38] Ibuki
    Furthermore, with all these gawkers,
[11:41] Ibuki
    the fights are sure to end up live-streamed.
[11:43] Ibuki
    Then exponentially more people will see us.
[11:47] Ibuki
    I'm betting on Sendou's sister
    and her partner being among them.
[11:52] Fan A
    I attack your Vanguard, Suiko!
[11:55] Suiko
    No guard.
[11:56] Suiko
    Damage check.
[11:58] Suiko
    No trigger.
[12:04] Tetsu
    What?! My VF Gloves can be used like that?!
[12:11] Tetsu
    What was that just now?!
[12:17] Suiko
    I attack your Vanguard!
[12:20] Fan B
    I lost.
[12:24] Fan B
    Thank you so much, Suiko...
[12:30] Suiko
    I won.
[12:36] Suiko
    VF Gloves and Angel Feather
    don't go together well.
[12:40] Suiko
    Hey, how many fights do I have to do?
[12:44] Ibuki
    Hmm, strange...
[12:47] Ibuki
    I assumed they'd have shown up by now...
[12:50] Shuka
    Aren't the crepes from that place yummy, Emi?
[12:53] Emi
    They sure are!
[12:55] Emi
    But since it's gone out of business in
    our time period, we can't get them there.
[13:00] Emi
    I'm so glad we got to travel to this time.
[13:03] Ibuki
    Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait up!
[13:05] Ibuki
    You were just gonna walk by?!
[13:07] Emi/Shuka
    Meow!
[13:08] Song
    V-V-V-VF Gloves!
[13:11] Emi/Shuka
    There's a Jammer in that building?!
[13:14] Ibuki
    Yeah. We need your help.
[13:17] Emi
    Let's do it, Shuka.
[13:19] Shuka
    Okay, Emi!
[13:23] Emi
    These people...
[13:24] Shuka
    ...must be the Jammer's lackeys!
[13:26] Ibuki
    They're not gonna let us in the building?
[13:28] Tetsu
    That's where you're wrong.
[13:35] Ibuki
    What are you doing, Tetsu Shinjou?
[13:38] Shuka
    Outta the way, mutton chops!
[13:41] Emi
    That wasn't very nice, Shuka.
[13:44] Emi
    I'm so sorry, mister.
[13:47] Emi (echo)
    Mister...! Mister...!
[13:51] Suiko
    He's actually sensitive about that...
[13:56] Tetsu
    Would you let me participate, as well?
[13:58] Tetsu
    I'd like to have a Vanguard fight
    while wearing the VF Gloves!
[14:02] Ibuki
    What?
[14:04] Ibuki
    To think I'd get to hear those words
    coming out of your mouth!
[14:08] Ibuki
    All right! Let's fight!
[14:10] Tetsu
    Not against you.
[14:12] Tetsu
    You.
[14:13] Suiko
    Me?
[14:15] Tetsu
    Your fights using the VF Gloves
    were absolutely breathtaking.
[14:19] Tetsu
    I had no idea they could be used that way,
     and I'm the one who invented them!
[14:25] Tetsu
    By all means, fight me!
[14:27] Suiko
    Just what I hoped for!
[14:28] Ibuki
    Wait! If anyone's gonna fight, it'll be me!
[14:36] Ibuki
    You're ignoring me?!
[14:46] Tetsu/Suiko
    Stand up, Vanguard!
[14:49] Suiko
    Rear Impetus Celestial, Armaiti
    attacks your Vanguard!
[14:53] Tetsu
    Damage check!
[14:55] Tetsu
    No trigger!
[14:59] Tetsu
    So this is what they do?!
[15:07] Tetsu
    A-Again...
[15:10] Tetsu
    Were those my memories?
[15:13] Ibuki
    Tetsu...
[15:15] Ibuki
    Wait, is Tetsu himself trying to remember
    the memories the Jammer manipulated?!
[15:21] Ibuki
    Attack! Clinch it this turn!
[15:24] Suiko
    Don't be absurd!
[15:25] Suiko
    It's his turn now!
[15:28] Tetsu
    King of Masks, Dantarian attacks!
[15:33] Ibuki
    Drat.
[15:37] Tetsu
    What's wrong? Is it over already?
[15:41] Suiko
    You wish!
[15:42] Suiko
    Solidify Celestial, Zerachiel attacks!
[15:46] Tetsu
    No guard!
[15:59] Tetsu
    Who was that, just now?!
[16:04] Ibuki
    That's it! Remember, Tetsu Shinjou!
[16:06] Ibuki
    Your dream is not
    to make the whole world healthy!
[16:12] Tetsu
    I don't feel so good.
[16:15] Tetsu
    I'd better call it quits for now.
[16:18] Ibuki
    You're quitting in the middle of a fight?
[16:20] Tetsu
    I've had enough.
    I understand Vanguard plenty.
[16:24] Tetsu
    Let's end here.
[16:29] Suiko
    Wh-What are you cackling about?!
[16:30] Shuka
    Has he gone off the deep end?
[16:32] Emi
    Looks like it...
[16:33] Ibuki
    Jammer, you have no right
    to call yourself Tetsu Shinjou!
[16:39] Ibuki
    He's... Tetsu's not the kind of man
    who would walk out in the middle of a fight!
[16:45] Tetsu
    H-How can you be so sure?
[16:48] Ibuki
    At one time...
[16:51] Ibuki
    ...I stole Vanguard from him.
[16:56] Ibuki
    But then, in a rematch with me,
    he regained his old self.
[17:02] Ibuki
    There was no way his connection
    with Vanguard could be forever broken!
[17:06] Ibuki
    If he hadn't believed that then,
    he never could've accomplished it!
[17:11] Ibuki
    Do you really believe a man like that
    would give up in the middle of a fight?!
[17:15] Tetsu
    I... My... dream...
[17:19] Tetsu
    My dream is to make the whole world healthy!
[17:24] Ibuki
    Get outta here, Jammer!
[17:27] Ibuki
    I don't want to see a Tetsu Shinjou
    who's not a Vanguard fighter ever again!
[17:43] Ibuki
    It's No Life King, Death Anchor!
[17:46] King
    Jammer!
[17:50] Shuka
    Emi, let's transform!
[17:52] Emi
    Right!
[18:02] Emi/Shuka
    IF, stand up!
[18:10] Emi/Shuka
    Together, we're the Blaster Pair!
[18:13] King
    Jammer!
[18:16] Ibuki
    Fall prey to my Messiah deck!
[18:25] Shuka
    Emi, here!
[18:26] Emi
    Elemental Calling!!
[18:31] Emi
    Protect us, Blaster Blade!
[18:34] Emi
    Realize!
[18:46] Emi
    We need you, Blaster Blade!
[18:51] Jammer
    Jammer!
[18:57] Jammer
    Jammer!
[18:59] Jammer
    Jammer!
[19:03] Emi
    Blaster Blade!
[19:06] Suiko
    Would you learn your lesson already?!
[19:08] Suiko
    You cannot defeat Jammers with Vanguard!
[19:11] Ibuki
    That's why I'm so irritated!
[19:13] Ibuki
    Anything can be resolved using Vanguard!
[19:16] Ibuki
    That's the rule in the world we're from!
[19:23] Shuka
    That old guy's passion
    has brought forth a new card!
[19:27] Emi
    Blaster Blade!
[19:29] King
    Breakdown Death Breath!
[19:34] Shuka
    Emi!
[19:37] Ibuki
    Nice intercept!
[19:42] Shuka
    Emi, here's this week's final card!
[19:50] Emi
    Realize!
[19:54] Emi
    Alter Ego Messiah!
[20:05] King
    Jammer!
[20:11] King
    J-J-J-J-J-Jammer!
[20:21] King
    Jam-jam-jam-jam-jammm...
[20:25] Ibuki
    Alter Ego Messiah...
[20:28] Ibuki
    Someday, you'll be in my deck, too.
[20:31] Shuka
    Once again...
[20:32] Emi
    ...history has been...
[20:34] Shuka/Emi
    ...corrected!
SIGN    VF Gloves Limited
[20:38] Suiko
    Hey, look at that!
SIGN    Cardshop Castle
[20:55] Tetsu
    What am I doing here?
[20:58] Ibuki
    You should be grateful.
[21:00] Ibuki
    What released you from the distortion was
    what you created for the head of your family.
[21:05] Ibuki
    That's about the size of it.
[21:08] Tetsu
    The head of my family? Who's that?
[21:11] Ibuki
    Who? Ren Suzugamori, of course!
[21:15] Tetsu
    Ren Suzugamori?
    I've never heard that name before.
[21:20] Ibuki
    Are you having a senior moment?!
[21:25] Tetsu
    Oh no! I can't waste my time
    lounging on the couch!
[21:28] Tetsu
    Every minute, every second counts!
[21:33] Tetsu
    Wait up, Asaka! Kyou!
[21:36] Tetsu
    Winners get all! Losers get lost!
[21:41] Suiko
    Is it really better this way?
[21:43] Suiko
    Aren't they going to wreak havoc at local shops?
[21:46] Ibuki
    That's fine.
[21:48] Ibuki
    I'm sure Aichi Sendou will stop them.
[21:52] Ibuki
    It wasn't this distortion.
[21:55] Ibuki
    But why is it that Tetsu
    doesn't know Ren Suzugamori?
[22:00] Suiko
    Well, let's head back to our usual place.
[22:03] Ibuki
    And clean up.
[22:05] Shuka
    We'll be heading out, too.
[22:05] Suiko
    You clean up.
[22:06] Emi
    See you next time.
[23:45] Narrator
    The 30-second card intro segment!
[23:48] Narrator
    Today's featured card is Link Joker's
    Alter Ego Messiah!
SIGN    Alter Ego Messiah
[23:52] Narrator
    When placed, put two cards from the Drop Zone
    onto rear-guard circles as locked cards.
[23:56] Narrator
    Those locked cards can't do anything that turn.
[23:59] Narrator
    However, if Alter Ego Messiah attacks,
[24:02] Narrator
    all locked cards will be unlocked
    and receive +10,000 power!
[24:05] Narrator
    Then those unlocked cards can attack!
[24:08] Narrator
    Use powerful follow-up attacks
    to grasp a victorious future!
[24:11] Narrator
    With this card, you too can
    "Ride The Vanguard"!
SIGN    Ride The Vanguard!
[24:16] Ibuki
    What?! Next time, Kawanami is the captain
    of Fukuhara High's Vanguard Club,
[24:20] Ibuki
    and he's got a thing going with Asaka Narumi?!
[24:22] Suiko
    That's right.
[24:23] Ibuki
    Wait, who's Kawanami?
[24:24] Suiko
    I'm not sure myself.
[24:25] Ibuki
    Will this show be okay with a C-class character
    like him as the source of a distortion?
[24:28] Ibuki
    Surely there's someone better--
[24:30] Suiko
    Whatever, just say the episode title.
[24:32] Ibuki
    Okay.
[24:32] Ibuki
    Next time on Cardfight!! Vanguard IF:
     "Enemy or Ally?! Mask, the Dark!!"
[24:35] Suiko
    Sorry, that's been revised. Say this one.
[24:38] Ibuki
    Okay.
[24:38] Ibuki
    "Enemy or Ally?! Mask, the Shoulder Pads!!"
SIGN    if 5
     Enemy or Ally?! Mask, the Dark!!
[24:41] Ibuki
    Same Van-time, same Van-channel!
[24:43] Ibuki
    This is embarrassing...