E8 - Captured! Terror Aboard the Pirate Ship

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Nanaoka
    We are Wacky TV Nanana!
SIGN    Wacky TV Nanana
SIGN    Hunt the Legendary Kraken!
SIGN    #8 Captured! Terror Aboard the Pirate Ship
[00:16] Boss
    We're the terrifying Redbeard Pirates.
SIGN    Redbeard Pirates
[00:20] Boss
    We're just in this for the money, so as long
    as your ransom gets paid, you can go free.
[00:26] 7oka
    How much do you have on you?
[00:27] 7mori
    I think my Pasmo card has
    about 2,000 yen on it.
[00:29] 7mori
    And I've got my QUO and T Cards, too.
[00:30] 7yama
    Do you think they'll accept
    the beef bowl coupon I have?
[00:33] Boss
    You lot won't be paying. We're gonna
    negotiate with your employer.
[00:38] Boss
    And if they don't offer up a decent
    ransom, you're all fish food.
[00:46] Boss
    You're from a TV station, eh?
[00:48] Boss
    Come to think of it, those folks who were
    filming the giant squid were a big deal.
[00:53] Boss
    Got plenty of ransom money for them.
[00:55] 7oka
    That's because they're actually well-funded!
SIGN    Employee ID
SIGN    Expedition Crew
    Director
    
    Nanaoka
SIGN     TV Nanana

[00:58] Boss
    Never even heard of TV Nanana.
[01:01] Boss
    Must be some rinky-dink operation.
[01:03] Boss
    Explains why you're out in
    a rusty squid-fishing boat.
[01:07] 7oka
    But did you know that it has three
[01:09] 7oka
    complimentary meals a day
    and open-air bathing?
[01:11] Boss
    You poor saps probably
    aren't worth the trouble.
[01:14] Boss
    Into the sea you go.
[01:16] 7oka
    N-Now, hold on a second!
[01:17] 7oka
    It's true that we aren't a big organization,
[01:20] 7oka
    but we're still a major, Tokyo-based
    network with terrestrial broadcasts!
[01:23] 7oka
    So could you maybe negotiate
    with the home office?
[01:25] Boss
    Don't lie to me, boy!
[01:27] 7mori
    He's telling the truth, though.
[01:30] 7oka
    Y'know that show where they drain the lake?
    Or where they follow people home?
[01:33] 7oka
    Those are ours!
[01:35] Boss
    Never heard of them. What the hell's
    entertaining about draining a lake?
[01:39] Boss
    And if you follow somebody home,
    that just makes you a stalker.
[01:42] Boss
    Let's be rid of you, then. Right now.
[01:44] 7oka
    You gotta spare us. Please.
[01:45] 7mori
    We're begging you.
[01:45] 7oka
    We're seriously a major network!
    We broadcast ping pong and judo matches!
[01:48] 7oka
    Come on!
[01:48] 7mori
    Please.
[01:49] 7yama
    Niinuma, save us.
[01:52] Lackey
    Boss! I did a search, and it looks like
    they really are a major network.
[01:57] Boss
    You gotta be kidding me.
[01:58] Boss
    TV Nanana
[01:58] Boss
    a national TV network
[01:58] Boss
    Giroppon 1-Chome
[01:59] Boss
    "TV Nanana, a national TV network
    located in Giroppon 1-Chome."
[02:03] Boss
    It's true!
SIGN    All Affiliate Stations
SIGN    TV
    Nanana
SIGN    Nanana
    Kyushu
SIGN    Nanana
    Hokkaido
SIGN    Nanana
    Aichi
SIGN    Nanana
    Osaka
SIGN    Nanana
    Setouchi
[02:04] Boss
    Says you've only got six affiliates,
    though. That ain't much.
[02:07] 7oka
    Wait, only six?
[02:09] 7mori
    The smaller number helps
    keep us flexible, though.
SIGN    All Affiliate Stations
SIGN    TV
    Nanana
SIGN    Nanana
    Kyushu
SIGN    Nanana
    Hokkaido
SIGN    Nanana
    Aichi
SIGN    Nanana
    Osaka
SIGN    Tokyo Stock Exchange
[02:11] 7oka
    Looks like you were doing well for a bit,
    but your stock value's pretty low.
[02:15] 7oka
    Must've been a drop in ratings causing
    a lack of growth through ad revenue.
[02:19] 7oka
    Plus, kids these days
    don't bother with TV much,
[02:23] 7oka
    so all the ad money's going to the Internet.
[02:25] 7oka
    It's rough times for the TV biz.
[02:28] 7yama
    You're oddly well-informed.
[02:30] Boss
    Guess I'll fire off a
    message to your president.
[02:33] Boss
    We've got your precious employees.
[02:36] Boss
    Prepare the ransom ASAP!
[02:38] Boss
    From the pirates.
[02:39] Boss
    There.
[02:41] 7mori
    I'm glad we technically
    qualify as a major network.
[02:43] 7oka
    This is all thanks to our regional affiliates.
[02:46] 7oka
    Thank you all for saving our lives!
SIGN    TV
    Nanana
SIGN    Nanana
    Kyushu
SIGN    Nanana
    Hokkaido
SIGN    Nanana
    Aichi
SIGN    Nanana
    Osaka
SIGN    Nanana
    Setouchi
[02:49] 7oka
    We hope we can continue to work
    together as affiliates of TV Nanana!
[02:53] 7oka
    Thank you!
[02:55] 7yama
    All six of you.