E3 - Staying Healthy! With the Unmotivated Adventurers

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Nanaoka
    We are Wacky TV Nanana!
SIGN    Wacky TV Nanana
SIGN    Hunt the Legendary Kraken!
SIGN    # 3 Staying Healthy! With the Unmotivated Adventurers
[00:16] 7oka
    Having been swallowed by a whale,
[00:18] 7oka
    the expedition crew was
    looking for a way to escape.
[00:21] 7oka
    What is up with the insides
    of whales? Where's the exit?
[00:25] Fukuda
    Hey, welcome to the inside of the whale!
[00:28] Fukuda
    Wait a minute... You guys
    are from TV Nanana!
[00:32] Fukuda
    You filming on location or what?
[00:33] 7yama
    Who are you?
[00:34] 7mori
    Wait, look closer!
[00:36] 7mori
    Isn't that Dafuku-senpai, who went missing?
[00:39] Fukuda
    Yeah, to tell you the truth, we were trying to film a new Hero Shichihiko season,
SIGN    Director of "Hero Shichihiko"
    Dafuku-senpai
[00:43] Fukuda
    but we ended up getting
    swallowed by this whale.
[00:45] Fukuda
    And we just kept getting delayed.
[00:49] Fukuda
    The inside of a whale is pretty complex,
    so there's no way we're getting out.
[00:52] Fukuda
    So instead of filming the new season,
    we decided to live in here.
[00:56] 7yama
    That's adapting fast.
[00:57] Fukuda
    You boys oughta move in, too.
    It's pretty cool!
[01:00] 7oka
    You can live inside a whale?
[01:02] Fukuda
    Of course!
[01:03] Fukuda
    You wanna see my awesome pad?
[01:05] Fukuda
    Come along, check it out.
[01:08] Fukuda
    Here we are. This is where I live.
[01:12] 7oka
    You live here?
[01:13] Fukuda
    I figured I might as well enjoy
    my life inside a whale,
[01:16] Fukuda
    so after a few renovations
    with the design team,
[01:18] Sign
    W h a l e L a n d
SIGN    Health Center
[01:19] Fukuda
    it ended up turning into a health spa.
[01:21] 7mori
    A health spa?!
[01:22] 7oka
    Wouldn't that piss the whale off?
[01:25] Fukuda
    We've got all kinds of
    different saunas inside.
[01:26] Signs; left to right
    Finnish
[01:26] Signs; left to right
    Dry
[01:26] Signs; left to right
    Mist
[01:26] Signs; left to right
    Foot Massage
[01:26] Signs; left to right
    Deep Scrub
[01:26] Signs; left to right
    Hot Stone Massage
[01:29] Fukuda
    We offer a large group bath and a cold
    bath, too, along with foot massages,
[01:34] Fukuda
    deep scrubs, hot stone massages,
    and a break room you can nap in.
[01:38] 7oka
    Damn, he actually gets music
    acts to perform in this place.
[01:38] Sign
    Donretsu
[01:38] Sign
    Special Concert
[01:41] 7yama
    Here's hoping no one goes missing.
[01:43] Fukuda
    Fresh food is constantly floating in, so we
    never have to worry about what to eat.
[01:48] Fukuda
    Not only that, but lately, TVs, game systems,
[01:50] Fukuda
    cell phones, and Wi-Fi routers end up in here,
    too, so there's plenty of entertainment.
[01:55] Fukuda
    In the whale, you leisurely relax
    at the sauna, eat something tasty,
[01:59] Fukuda
    knock back a few drinks,
    play some games, and go to bed.
[02:01] Fukuda
    And every day is like that!
[02:03] Fukuda
    No commuting, no quotas to hit, no overtime,
    and no harassment from your bosses!
[02:08] 7oka
    Sounds nice.
[02:10] Fukuda
    I have absolutely no desire to
    go back to working in television.
[02:14] Fukuda
    If you like, you guys can hit up the sauna.
[02:17] Fukuda
    Heck, you can live in here with us!
[02:19] (Flashback) Fukuda
    You can live here... live here... live here...
[02:20] Sign
    Freedom from chasing ratings
[02:25] 7oka
    Thank you for having us!
[02:26] 7yama
    Aw, come on, let's get back to the shoot.
[02:28] 7yama
    The boss is gonna be mad if
    we don't land that scoop.
[02:31] 7oka
    Who cares if he gets mad or not?
[02:33] 7oka
    I'm done being a slave to ratings.
[02:35] 7oka
    From now on, I'm living at this spa!
[02:38] 7oka
    All right, which sauna to use?
[02:41] 7oka
    It'd be dumb to start with the
    cold one and be all like, "Brrr!"
[02:45] 7yama
    Um, Captain, could you at least
    cover up with a towel first?
[02:49] 7yama
    You keep slipping into my line of sight.
[02:51] 7oka
    So look at it.
[02:52] 7mori
    No, no. None of that, please.
[02:54] 7oka
    Really, look.
[02:55] 7yama
    No one wants to see a banana's banana.
[02:56] 7oka
    Look at it.