E1 - Wacky TV Ships Out!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Nanaoka
    We are Wacky TV Nanana!
SIGN    Wacky TV Nanana
SIGN    Hunt the Legendary Kraken!
SIGN    #1 Wacky TV Ships Out!
[00:16] Sign/Narration
    TV Nanana's expedition crew takes on a highly anticipated new adventure!
SIGN    TV Nanana's expedition crew
SIGN    takes on a highly anticipated new adventure!
[00:20] 7oka
    A new what?
[00:21] 7mori
    We're really doing this?
[00:22] Sign/Narration
    The hunt for the legendary giant octopus:
SIGN    On the trail of the Kraken!
SIGN    The hunt for the legendary giant octopus:
[00:24] Sign/Narration
    On the trail of the Kraken!
[00:27] Narration
    The Kraken is a massive sea creature whose
    sightings date back to the middle ages.
[00:32] Narration
    It is spotted occasionally in
    the seas of Northern Europe.
[00:35] Narration
    It is a violent oceanic tyrant
    responsible for sinking countless ships
[00:40] Narration
    and gobbling up their crews,
    down to the last sailor!
[00:43] Narration
    And the time has come to discover the
    truth about this enigmatic beast!
SIGN    Hunt the Kraken!
[00:49] 7oka
    I don't wanna do that.
[00:49] 7mori
    That's the last thing I wanna do.
[00:51] 7oka
    Sounds scary!
SIGN    TV Nanana
[00:53] Narrator
    Meanwhile, here at TV Nanana,
[00:56] Narrator
    the situation is more dire than ever before!
[01:00] Narrator
    There's the fact that young
    people are watching less TV,
SIGN    Less TV viewership
SIGN    Lower ratings
[01:02] Narrator
    the loss of ratings,
SIGN    Reduced ad take
[01:03] Narrator
    shrinking ad revenue...
[01:06] Narrator
    Then there's the disinterest
    in our original programming,
SIGN    Unique content
SIGN    Self-deprecation
[01:09] Narrator
    along with people becoming tired
    of our self-deprecating humor!
[01:14] 7oka
    Man, if people don't like
    self-mocking jokes...
[01:16] 7oka
    That's bad news for us.
[01:17] 7yama
    That's basically our whole shtick.
[01:18] 7mori
    Right.
[01:19] Narrator
    However! If we can find the Kraken,
    our company will be saved!
SIGN    The hunt for higher ratings!
[01:26] 7oka
    I guess ratings are all that matter, huh?
[01:28] 7yama
    So... when do you think
    Mr. Fujinami will show up this time?
[01:31] 7oka
    The thing is, he's not exactly
    bringing in the numbers.
[01:34] 7yama
    He's not?!
[01:35] 7yama
    He's not getting our numbers up? But he's
    had two guest appearances already.
[01:38] 7oka
    It's mostly just because
    we like having him on.
[01:40] Narrator
    Their destination: the mysterious stretch
    of sea said to be the home of the Kraken,
[01:44] Narrator
    the Banana Triangle!
SIGN    Banana Triangle
SIGN    Banana Triangle
[01:47] Narrator
    Will they survive the experience?
[01:51] Narrator
    If they can make it back alive,
    it'll be a real bargain!
[01:53] Narrator
    Hang tough, expedition crew!
[01:55] 7oka
    "A real bargain"?
[01:55] 7mori
    What the?
[01:56] 7oka
    Is the bargain... our lives?
[01:58] narration
    Onward to historical achievements!
SIGN    Onward to historical achievements!
[01:59] narration
    Toward the triple crown of TV ratings!
SIGN    Toward the triple crown of TV ratings!
[02:01] narration
    Toward the rejuvenation of ad revenue!
SIGN    Toward the rejuvenation of ad revenue!
[02:04] 7yama
    That's asking for a whole lot.
[02:06] Narration
    The TV Nanana series will be
SIGN    TV Nanana
[02:08] Narration
    dedicating all their resources
    on an unprecedented scale...
SIGN    dedicating all their resources
    on an unprecedented scale!
[02:12] Narration
    with six stations across the country!
SIGN    Six stations across the country
[02:14] 7yama
    Not many...
[02:15] Narration
    The number one anticipated
    mini-runtime series this season!
SIGN    The number one anticipated
    mini-runtime series this season
[02:18] 7yama
    "Mini-runtime"?
[02:20] Narration
    Hunt down the giant octopus
    known as the Kraken!
SIGN    Hunting down the legendary giant octopus, the Kraken!
[02:23] Narration
    Don't miss it!
SIGN    Don't miss it!
[02:26] 7oka
    Boss? Boss!
[02:28] Vending machine sign
    Food Selection
[02:28] 7oka
    What's this stuff about an octopus?
[02:31] 7guchi
    Remember how public broadcasting
[02:33] 7guchi
    did that special on the giant squid,
    and it got good ratings?
[02:36] 7guchi
    Well, if they're doing a
    squid, we'll do an octopus!
[02:39] 7guchi
    We'll use the octopus to grab higher ratings
[02:39] Sign
    Employee cafeteria
[02:41] 7guchi
    and reinvigorate this mess of a company!
[02:45] 7oka
    That's pretty simplistic thinking...
[02:47] 7guchi
    I don't care how small your budget is!
    Get me that Kraken footage!
[02:50] 7guchi
    Four! Five! Six!
[02:52] 7guchi
    Go, Nanana!
[02:55] 7yama
    I gotta say, I'm not feeling this season, either.