31 - Osaka Business Trip! That Man is Taiga!!
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Boo
Yesterday,
[00:02] Boo
Prime Minister Nagata displayed a splendid
prostration here in the Gosho home.
[00:06] Boo
That was his request to defeat the
cyber pirates, the Seven Gods of Suits,
[00:11] Boo
who are trying to control the
country with the Towers of Seizure.
[00:14] Boo
Kaito accepted that request
[00:17] Boo
and was saddled with a one trillion yen debt.
[00:21] Boo
What fate awaits Kaito and his friends?
[00:24] Kaito
What're you grumbling about?!
[00:25] Boo
That hurts, ka-ching!
[00:27] Boo
You've spoiled my restful
morning coffee time, ka-ching!
[00:30] Kaito
Forget that! We're headed for Osaka!
[00:33] Ai
And you need to head for school before that!
SIGN HERO BANK
SIGN Osaka Business Trip! That Man is Taiga!!
[02:07] Kaito
Osaka Business Trip!
[02:09] Kaito
That Man is Taiga!!
[02:12] Takeda
Okay, that ends today's class.
[02:15] Kaito
All right!
[02:16] Kaito
Let's go, Mitsuo, Fukuta, Sekito!
[02:17] Takeda
Be sure to finish this
investigative study homework
[02:18] ---
Yeah!
[02:18] ---
You got it, though!
[02:20] Takeda
on the different types of fish
sold at the shopping district
[02:23] Takeda
by next week!
[02:28] Kaito
Aw, and right after I got myself all hyped up...
[02:32] Kaito
Investigative study homework
really drives me butty.
[02:36] Mitsuo
It's supposed to be "drives me batty."
[02:39] Kaito
All right!
[02:39] Kaito
Let's start fresh and get going!
[02:41] Four
Big Money Company, business trip!
[02:45] Kaito
Whoo!
[02:46] Mitsuo
There!
[02:49] Boo
Ka-ching!
SIGN Takoyaki
[03:00] Kaito
It's Osaka!
SIGN Udon
SIGN Skewers
[03:05] Kato
All right!
[03:06] Kato
Let's eat, eat, and eat some more,
[03:08] Kato
then laugh our faces off!
[03:10] Mitsuo
We don't have that sort of time, do we?
[03:14] Mitsuo
We've got not only our mission,
[03:15] Mitsuo
but our investigative study homework, too!
[03:17] Kaito
We just got to Osaka!
[03:19] Kaito
We don't have to do our mission
or homework right now, do we?
[03:21] Kaito
When you mention Osaka,
you think okonomiyaki, takoyaki,
[03:25] Kaito
skewers, udon, Yummy Sticks!
[03:28] Kaito
It's flour Heaven, you know!
[03:31] Sekito
Not interested.
[03:33] Kaito
You're the same as ever.
[03:35] Kaito
You want to hit an okonomiyaki
place, don't you, Fukuta?
[03:38] Fukuta
I like, though! So cute, though!
[03:42] Kaito
Right? The okonomiyaki shop it is!
[03:45] Konomi
Welcome!
[03:47] Konomi
How about one of Osaka's famous okonomiyakis?
[03:50] Fukuta
This is fate, though!
[03:52] Fukuta
I'm going to that okonomiyaki
place over there, though!
[03:55] Kaito
If that's decided, let's go!
[03:58] Mitsuo
Ah! Please wait, you two!
SIGN Okonomiyaki
[04:02] Konomi
Come and eat some okonomiyaki!
[04:08] Kaito
We've come to eat some okonomiyaki!
[04:11] Konomi
I'm so happy!
[04:12] Konomi
We've got customers!
[04:14] Fukuta
I'd like to get to know you better eventually,
[04:16] Fukuta
but I'm happy to meet you as
a customer for now, though.
[04:19] Kaito
All right, let's go!
[04:20] Mitsuo
Please wait!
[04:21] Kaito
What is it, Mitsuo?
[04:22] Mitsuto
Didn't I tell you?
[04:24] Mitsuto
We've got a special mission
from the prime minister...
[04:26] Boo
You oaf!
[04:29] Boo
Our mission is top secret, ka-ching!
[04:31] Boo
There's no telling where the cyber
pirates' underlings might be, ka-ching!
[04:35] Mitsuo
I-I'm sorry.
[04:37] Mitsuo
Anyway, this is no time for okonomiyaki!
[04:40] Kaito
Oh, shut up!
[04:42] Kaito
You can't fight on an empty butt!
[04:44] Mitsuo
It's supposed to be "on an empty stomach"!
[04:47] A
He retorted!
[04:48] B
Just now, he definitely retorted!
[04:50] Mitsuo
Wh-What is it?
[04:51] Mitsuo
I just corrected him like normal.
[05:00] Inayo
I didn't think there was still anyone stupid
enough to retort in this shopping district.
[05:04] Kitayo
Ya got some nerve!
[05:07] Kaito
Who are you?
[05:09] Inayo
The Osaka City Hall Cyber Division's Inayo Uchi!
[05:12] Kitayo
Likewise, Kitayo Uchi!
[05:15] Kitayo
That said, we'll be takin' that money!
[05:20] Mitsuo
My money!
[05:23] Kitayo
Thanks a bunch!
[05:24] Mitsuo
What did you do that for?
[05:25] Kitayo
I'll tell ya if you don't know.
[05:27] Kitayo
Whenever someone retorts
to a stupid joke in this town...
[05:31] Inayo
We collect a tax from them.
[05:34] Mitsuo
A tax?
[05:35] Inayo
In other words...
[05:36] Kitayo
To the bad joke, "you can't
fight on an empty butt"...
[05:39] Inayo
You retorted, "it's supposed to be
'on an empty stomach'," right?
[05:44] Inayo
We're sayin' that incurred a tax.
[05:47] Mitsuo
That's ridiculous!
[05:48] Kaito
Hey, hold on!
[05:50] Kitayo
What?
[05:50] Inayo
Got a complaint or somethin'?
[05:53] Kaito
Who're you calling a joker?
[05:56] Kaito
I'm not fooling around at all!
[05:58] Kaito
I was totally serious when I said
I couldn't fight on an empty butt!
[06:01] Mitsuo
That's the part you're mad about?!
[06:07] Mitsuo
Darn it!
[06:09] Both
Okay! Tax collection!
[06:12] Konomi
This is the status quo in Osaka.
[06:14] Sekito
The status quo?
[06:15] Konomi
Above all, the people of Osaka love to laugh,
[06:18] Konomi
and the custom of telling jokes as greetings
[06:20] Konomi
and retorting to them is considered polite...
SIGN Osaka
[06:24] A
Man, bummer is soiling!
[06:27] B
You mean "summer is boiling," don'cha?
[06:32] Konomi
The cyber pirate Ryuuga
SIGN Laugh 'Til You Drop Town
[06:34] Konomi
used that against us and started
scooping up huge taxes on those retorts.
[06:40] Kaito
That's not right!
[06:42] Kaito
People who retort aren't bad!
[06:44] Kaito
It's the ones who joke in
the first place who're bad!
[06:46] ---
Pratfall!
[06:47] Mitsuo
Don't say that when you do it all the time!
[06:53] Boo
This guy really is an idiot, ka-ching.
[06:56] Kaito
I can't take it anymore!
[06:57] Kaito
Let's get them to pay back
that nonsense tax, Mitsuo!
[07:01] Mitsuo
Of course!
[07:03] Ichiyo
Ya leave us no choice.
[07:04] Ichiyo
How about we add on a fine for interfering
with officers' duties, Kitayo?
[07:09] Kitayo
Okay, Inayo!
[07:11] Kaito
Here we go! Let's job change!
[07:14] Mitsuo
Now that you mention it,
I don't have a bank register!
[07:16] Kaito
What?
[07:18] Kaito
Hey, Boochokkin, cough up Mitsuo's!
[07:23] Kaito
All right!
[07:24] Boo
You're horrible, ka-ching!
[07:27] Kaito
Bank register, activate!
[07:30] Kaito
Data call!
[07:32] Kaito
Card entry!
[07:34] Kaito
Job change!
[07:39] Kaito
Enter the Gold!
SIGN Enter the Gold
[07:44] Mitsuo
Data call!
[07:45] Mitsuo
Card entry!
[07:48] Mitsuo
Job change!
[07:52] Mitsuo
Beep Boop Game Machine!
[07:55] [SONG] Sign
Beep Boop Game Machine
[07:57] Announcer
Here we go!
[07:59] Announcer
Another tag-team battle has begun!
[08:03] Announcer
Enter the Gold and Beep Boop
Game Machine will be facing...
[08:08] Announcer
Huh?
[08:10] Kaito
They're not here!
[08:12] Mitsuo
I wonder what's going on...
[08:13] Inayo
Hey, how d'ya do?!
[08:15] Inayo
I'm Inayo Uchi!
[08:17] Kitayo
I'm Kitayo Uchi!
[08:19] Both
Together, we're the Eat 'Til We Drop Brothers!
[08:23] Mitsuo
You're women, so it should
be Sisters, not Brothers!
[08:27] Announcer
Yikes! Beep Boop Game Machine
is hit by a bolt of lightning!
[08:30] Mitsuo
Wh-Why?
[08:31] Inayo
It's a local Osaka rule, obviously!
[08:35] Inayo
If you retort, then lightning strikes!
[08:38] Kitayo
With an optional explosive afro service attached!
[08:41] Mitsuo
What part of that is a service?!
[08:42] Mitsuo
Actually, you can't even tell
with Hero Suits on, can you?!
[08:46] Announcer
Uh-oh! Beep Boop Game Machine retorted again!
[08:50] Boo
Definitely an idiot, ka-ching.
[08:57] Inayo
Listen good.
[08:58] Inayo
Don't think ya can take us on in a Hero Battle!
[09:01] ---
Despite how we look,
back when we were students...
[09:05] Kitayo
We were in the card-playing club!
[09:07] Mitsuo
Card-playing clubs have nothing
to do with Hero Battles!
[09:12] Mitsuo
But if I say that, it'll be a retort!
[09:15] Inayo
And not just cards!
[09:17] Inayo
Despite how we look,
[09:20] Inayo
we're rank 100-dan in kendo!
[09:24] ---
That's not kendo, it's baseball!
[09:27] Mitsuo
And there's no 100-dan in kendo, either!
[09:30] Mitsuo
But if I say that, it'll be a retort!
[09:35] Inayo
Well, it was via correspondence education, though.
[09:38] Mitsuo
You can't reach any rank through
correspondence education!
[09:43] Mitsuo
But if I say that...
[09:45] Kitayo
You're holding out pretty well
against our joke smackdown.
[09:48] ---
Well, looks like it's about
time for a direct attack!
[09:51] Kitayo
Wait a second, Inayo!
[09:53] Inayo
Huh?
[09:54] Kitayo
Your fly's open.
[09:56] Inayo
Oh, yer right! Thanks!
[10:00] Mitsuo
I really want to...
[10:01] (Flashback) Kitayo
Your fly's open!
[10:03] (Flashback) Inayo
Oh, yer right!
[10:05] (Flashback) Mitsuo
Skirts don't have zippers!
[10:07] (Flashback) Mitsuo
Also, you're both girls!
[10:09] Mitsuo
...retort with that!
[10:12] Mitsuo
But... It's all right!
[10:15] Mitsuo
I won't retort anymore!
[10:18] Kaito
Crap, my fly's open, too!
[10:20] Mitsuo
You don't have a zipper, either!
[10:25] Announcer
He retorted after all!
[10:28] Inayo
I don't get it,
[10:30] Inayo
but you lot seem like suspicious fellows.
[10:33] Inayo
Why don't we drag ya back to
our office and have a talk?
[10:37] Fukuta
This is bad, though!
[10:38] Boo
At this rate, they'll find out
about our mission, ka-ching!
[10:42] Sekito
Idiots!
[10:43] Taiga
Y'all are hopeless.
[10:44] All
Huh?
[10:46] Taiga
Leave this to me.
[10:59] Inayo
Take that!
[11:01] Inayo
And that!
[11:03] Inayo
This will end it!
[11:07] Inayo
What the?
[11:09] Taiga
Trying to tell some clichéd jokes again, aren't ya?
[11:11] Taiga
Inayo, Kitayo?
[11:15] Inayo
You're...
[11:16] Fukuta
That's...
[11:17] Boo
The guy from before, ka-ching!
[11:21] Taiga
You two are awfully nasty, too.
[11:23] Taiga
Catching tourists and raking
in their spending money?
[11:26] Taiga
That's the sorta thing that's
giving Osaka a bad reputation!
[11:31] Inayo
You're...
[11:34] Inayo
...who again?
[11:36] Mitsuo
Pratfall!
[11:37] Taiga
Yes!
SIGN Sum Gye
[11:39] Taiga
I'm "Sum Gye"!
[11:42] Mitsuo
Pratfall!
[11:43] Announcer
Whoa!
[11:45] Announcer
He whipped out the high-level skill of
countering a joke with another joke!
[11:49] Taiga
Thank you all!
[11:50] Inayo
Not good!
[11:51] Inayo
Now that he's here, our material won't work!
[11:55] Inayo
Let's stop for now, Kitayo!
[11:56] Kitayo
Got it, Inayo!
SIGN Okonomiyaki
SIGN We're Fryin' 'Em Up
[12:03] Mitsuo
Wow.
[12:05] Mitsuo
I was really wondering what
would happen for a minute there.
[12:08] Mitsuo
How can I ever thank you?
[12:10] Mitsuo
I won't ever forget this!
[12:12] Mitsuo
Thank you very much.
[12:13] Taiga
It's fine, it's fine.
[12:15] Taiga
I just thought it was bad of 'em to do
that sorta stuff to tourists like y'all.
[12:20] Kaito
But you did save us,
[12:23] Kaito
so at least let us treat you to a meal.
[12:25] Taiga
Ya don't need to fuss over me!
[12:28] Taiga
Osaka is famous for its food and comedy,
[12:31] Taiga
but it's also a city of kindness.
[12:33] Taiga
We gotta look out for each
other when there's trouble.
[12:35] Taiga
Sis, let's settle up.
[12:37] Konomi
Oh, yes, it's 600 yen.
[12:41] Taiga
All right, take care.
[12:44] Kaito
Hey, at least tell us your name!
[12:47] Kaito
I'm Kaito Gosho.
[12:49] Taiga
I'm Taiga.
[12:50] Taiga
My regards if we should ever meet again.
[12:56] Mitsuo
He's a nice person.
[12:58] Kaito
Yeah, he is.
[12:59] Sekito
None of that matters.
[13:01] Kaito
What do you mean by that?!
[13:03] Sekito
This is all pretty different from
the Osaka we've heard about.
[13:07] Sekito
What in the world is going on?
[13:09] Konomi
I told you before that there was
a tax placed on retorting, right?
[13:14] Konomi
Even if the people of Osaka
want to tell jokes, they can't,
[13:17] Konomi
and if they want to retort, they can't.
It's making the frustration build up.
[13:21] Konomi
We're heading straight into a recession.
[13:25] Konomi
This once-bustling shopping
district has become deserted,
[13:28] Konomi
and it looks like this shop may go bankrupt, too.
[13:31] Fukuta
We ought to do something for this place, though!
[13:34] Mitsuo
I'd love to, but...
[13:36] Boo
That's right, ka-ching!
[13:38] Boo
You can't forget your objective, ka-ching!
[13:40] Konomi
Objective?
[13:42] Fukuta
To take Ryuuga Tennouji dow—
[13:43] Boo
You oaf!
[13:45] Boo
I told you our mission is top secret, ka-ching!
[13:47] Konomi
Mission?
[13:48] Mitsuo
Nothing, nothing, just a private discussion!
[13:50] Sekito
Are you all idiots?
[13:52] Sekito
We will carry out our mission.
[13:54] Sekito
If we do that, we'll be able
to save the city of Osaka.
[13:58] Sekito
No problem whatsoever, right?
[14:00] All
Oh, I see!
[14:02] Kaito
You're a bigger idiot.
[14:04] Sekito
Huh?
[14:05] Kaito
Having that Taiga guy save us
means we were saved by Osaka.
[14:11] Kaito
We don't need a reason to save Osaka!
[14:14] Sekito
Who cares?
[14:15] Fukuta
Anyway, we'll do something
with our own strength, though!
[14:20] Konomi
Thank you.
[14:23] Boo
Okay, ka-ching?
[14:24] Boo
Just don't create any more commotion, ka-ching.
[14:27] Boo
The next time someone asks us who we are...
[14:30] Inayo
Who the heck are all of you?!
[14:33] Kaito
We've actually been appointed by the country
[14:36] Kaito
to come to Osaka and make peace with Ryuuga-san.
[14:40] Kaito
We'll do anything, so please let us see him.
[14:44] Boo
We'll go with this strategy, ka-ching!
[14:47] Kaito
All right, got it!
[14:49] A
Please spare me!
[14:52] Inayo
You retorted just now, didn't you?
[14:54] Kitayo
I saw it!
[14:56] Kitayo
It was also an over-the-top quip,
the new-style comedy type!
[14:59] A
Miss, can't you overlook it?
[15:02] Kaito
Hey, stop it!
[15:04] Kaito
Don't steal retorts from Osakans anymore!
[15:07] Inayo
You guys again?
[15:09] Kitayo
Did you come to pay us taxes again?
[15:11] Kaito
Of course not!
[15:13] Boo
You mustn't forget the strategy
we discussed before, ka-ching!
[15:16] Boo
We'll do anything, ka-ching!
[15:17] Boo
Please let us see Ryuuga-san, ka-ching!
[15:20] Kaito
I got it already!
[15:22] Kaito
Stop yammering and let us
see your boss Ryuuga!
[15:27] Boo
This idiot doesn't get it at all, ka-ching!
[15:30] Inayo
That's an interesting thing to say.
[15:32] Kitayo
You're gonna have to take us down first.
[15:35] Kitayo
You knew that when ya said it, right?
[15:37] Kaito
Of course!
[15:39] Mitsuo
You should be able to win as long
as you don't retort against them!
[15:42] Mitsuo
Let's go with our Kaito-kun and
Fukuta-kun combination this time!
[15:47] Fukuta
What kind do you like best, Konomi-chan, though?
[15:51] Boo
He's hopeless, too, ka-ching.
[15:53] Mitsuo
Yeah...
[15:54] Mitsuo
No helping it!
[15:55] Mitsuo
If it's come to this, then we'll
have to use our last resort!
[15:57] Mitsuo
Sekito-kun!
[15:59] Sekito
I won't do it.
[16:02] Mitsuo
Sekito-kun! Please!
[16:06] Mitsuo
I'm begging you!
[16:08] Sekito
H-Hey!
[16:09] Mitsuo
Sekito-kun, please, I'm begging you!
[16:12] Sekito
Hey, stop it!
[16:13] Sekito
This is embarrassing!
[16:14] Boo
That's a perfect rendition of
[16:16] Boo
Prime Minister Musaku Nagata's
prostration technique, ka-ching!
[16:18] Mitsuo
Since I can't fight, I'll just
do whatever I'm capable of!
[16:23] Sekito
Fine.
[16:25] Sekito
I'll put this debt on your tab!
[16:28] Mitsuo
Sekito-kun!
[16:32] Both
Bank register, activate!
[16:35] Both
Job change!
[16:40] Kaito
Enter the Gold!
SIGN Enter the Gold
[16:47] Sekito
Credit Loan Wolf!
[16:50] [SONG] Sign
Credit Loan Wolf
[16:52] Both
Job change!
[16:55] Inayo
Naniwa Idol, Harisen Emmy!
SIGN Harisen Emmy
[17:01] Kitayo
Likewise, Piko Hammer Emmy!
SIGN Piko Hammer Emmy
[17:05] Announcer
Here we go!
[17:07] Announcer
It's a tag-team battle yet again!
[17:09] Announcer
Enter the Gold and Credit Loan Wolf versus
[17:12] Announcer
the Harisen Emmy and Piko
Hammer Emmy combination!
[17:17] Kaito
All right, let's go!
[17:18] Sekito
Yeah!
[17:19] Konomi
Do your best! Remember not to retort!
[17:25] Inayo
They're real idiots!
[17:27] Sekito
What?
[17:28] Inayo
I've been craning my neck
looking forward to this day!
[17:32] Inayo
How's that?
[17:33] Inayo
Since I literally craned my neck,
they'll totally want to retort—
[17:36] Sekito
What the heck is that?
[17:37] Kitayo
It might be tough to make this guy laugh!
[17:40] Inayo
We're just gonna have to
use more grown-up material!
[17:43] Kitayo
All right!
[17:44] Kitayo
We'll show 'em our grown-up fodder!
[17:47] Kitayo
Inako-chan, you can ask for anything you want!
[17:51] Inayo
Yay! You're so generous, President!
[17:54] Kitayo
That said, Inako-chan is a
modest and considerate girl,
[17:59] Kitayo
so I'm sure she won't ask
for anything too expensive.
[18:01] Inayo
I'll have extra fatty tuna and salmon roe!
[18:04] Boss
You got it!
[18:06] Kitayo
What was that?!
[18:07] Kitayo
If ya ask for something that expensive,
you're gonna empty my wallet!
[18:12] Boss
And you?
[18:15] Kitayo
Octopus and squid tentacle.
[18:16] Boss
You got it!
[18:17] Inayo
Are octopus and squid tentacle good?
[18:19] Inayo
They're so cheap.
[18:22] Kitayo
You just don't get it.
[18:24] Kitayo
Fatty tuna and salmon roe
are fodder only kids enjoy.
[18:27] Kitayo
But you know, octopus and squid tentacle...
[18:30] Kitayo
are fodder for grown-ups!
[18:33] Kitayo
That must've done it!
[18:35] Kitayo
These jokes should make even
that hard-to-entertain guy...
[18:38] Sekito
Your "fodder" for grown-ups
isn't the same as gag fodder!
[18:41] Sekito
You're totally talking about
sushi ingredients now!
[18:43] Kitayo
...retort like that!
[18:47] Announcer
Wow!
[18:48] Announcer
Credit Loan Wolf shows incredible ignoring power!
[18:52] Kitayo
No way! Our joke didn't work?!
[18:54] Kitayo
Inayo!
[18:55] Kitayo
We're gonna have to use our special attack!
[18:57] Inayo
Wait a second, Kitayo!
[18:58] Kitayo
What is it?!
[19:00] Inayo
Your fly is open.
[19:02] Kitayo
Oh, thanks—
[19:04] Kaito
Mine might be open, too!
[19:06] Sekito
Zip it up, idiot!
[19:07] Announcer
Incredible! Staggering!
[19:09] Announcer
His skill in making successive
attacks and evading every last joke
[19:12] Announcer
is the ultimate secret
technique, "The Joker Killer"!
[19:17] Inayo
A combination to be feared for sure.
[19:20] Inayo
They're such unspirited guys,
so adept at ignoring us.
[19:24] Inayo
I can't believe that thanks to those two,
our strongest combination is...
[19:30] Kitayo
Don't get tongue-tied on the important part, idiot!
[19:35] Announcer
The double Emmys accidentally retorted!
[19:40] Sekito
Now! Let's go!
[19:41] Kaito
Yeah!
[19:41] Sekito
Pivot Claw!
[19:45] Kaito
Right-side Rising Uppercut!
[19:52] Announcer
It's over!
[19:53] Announcer
The winners: Enter the Gold and Credit Loan Wolf!
[20:00] Fukuta
Nice combination, you two, though!
[20:06] Kaito
I hope things go well for the
okonomiyaki shop now, too!
[20:08] Konomi
Thank you!
[20:10] Kaito
All right!
[20:11] Kaito
Let's keep this up and head to where Ryuuga is!
[20:13] Taiga
Did you say Ryuuga?
[20:15] Kaito
Oh, if it isn't Taiga!
[20:17] Taiga
You guys know Ryuuga?
[20:19] Kaito
Of course! That Ryuuga guy is...
[20:21] Boo
You oaf!
[20:23] Boo
W-We've actually, um, been
appointed by the country
[20:27] Boo
to come to Osaka and make peace
with Ryuuga-san, ka-ching!
[20:30] Taiga
Is that right?
[20:32] Taiga
That means...
[20:35] Taiga
You're the enemy!
[20:36] All
Huh?
[20:40] Taiga
Apprehend these guys!
[20:42] All
Why?!
[22:15] Mitsuo
Why are we suddenly being attacked?!
[22:17] Fukuta
We can't do a thing on our own, though!
[22:20] Kaito
In that case, I better get my butt in gear!
[22:22] Sekito
Please, put that away!
[22:23] Kaito
Next time, "Business Partnership!
SIGN "Business Partnership! It's Ryouma Ishin!!"
[22:25] Kaito
It's Ryouma Ishin!!"
[22:26] Kaito
Let's rake in the dough!
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