4 - Perilous! Kaito's Regent!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Maki
    Here to report hot news with
    a hot heart, Hero Bank Times*!
[00:06] Maki
    I'm your on-the-scene
    reporter, Maki Kashii!
[00:09] Maki
    With a ten billion yen
    championship prize on the line,
[00:11] Maki
    the Big Money Hero Wars
    are currently underway!
[00:15] Maki
    We're already seeing fight leaders who
[00:17] Maki
     have cleared the ten-win
    qualification requirement!
[00:20] Kaito
    I'm getting fired up!
[00:23] Kaito
    I've got to meet the qualifications soon, too!
[00:25] Ai
    Kaito! You're spilling your rice!
[00:27] Kaito
    Huh? O-Oh...
[00:29] Ai
    Jeez! You're such a slob.
[00:32] Ai
    You oversleep, you don't flush the toilet,
[00:34] Ai
    and to top it all off, your hair!
[00:36] Ai
    It's so unkempt! Get a haircut already!
[00:39] Kaito
    What? It's still fine! Haircuts are a hassle.
[00:42] Ai
    What are you saying?
[00:44] Ai
    If you say that
[00:45] Ai
    and end up with no hair to cut,
    like Grandpa, it'll be too late to regret it.
[00:49] Zouan
    That's right.
[00:50] Zouan
    Your savings and your hair both
    disappear before you know it.
[00:56] Zouan
    Not that it's any of your business!
[00:58] Ai
    If you keep growing it out like that,
[01:01] Ai
    it'll keep snowballing until you
    look like a bearded daruma.
[01:03] Zouan
    A bearded daruma?
[01:07] Zouan
    I won't!
[01:08] Zouan
    Don't underestimate a
    sleek elementary schooler!
[01:10] Ai
    Anyway! I'll give you some money,
[01:12] Ai
    so go get it cut tomorrow. Okay?
[01:15] Kaito
    'Kay...
[01:16] Ai
    Also, while you're at it,
    why don't you chop off that frumpy
[01:20] Ai
    regent-style hair altogether?
[01:22] Kaito
    Even if Heaven and Earth get flipped on
    their heads, I'll never cut off my regent!
[01:28] Kaito
    Man!
[01:29] Kaito
    It sucks that Sis doesn't get
    how awesome regents are...
[01:34] Kaito
    But...
[01:35] Kaito
    She might be right about
    it being a little long.
SIGN    Perilous! Kaito's Regent!!
[03:09] Kaito
    Perilous! Kaito's Regent!
SIGN    Big Money Company
SIGN    Preview
[03:16] Nar
    Shadow Yagyu Robo's evil plot
    presses upon Bad Boy General!
[03:19] Nar
    Just who is the mysterious pinwheel man
    who's appeared in the nick of time?
[03:23] Nar
    Next time on Mobile Suit Gang Boss,
    Bad Boy General episode 87,
[03:29] Nar
    "You're Yashichi, Aren't Ya?!"
SIGN    Episode 87
SIGN    "You're Yashichi, Aren't Ya?!"
[03:31] Nar
    Bow your head down low*
    and look forward to it!
[03:34] Kaito
    So fired up!
[03:35] Fukuta
    Bad Boy General was on fire
    again this week, though.
[03:39] Mitsuo
    Unsurprising from a popular SFX program
    that boasts 30% of the viewership.
[03:44] Mitsuo
    They spare no expense when making it.
[03:46] Kaito
    In particular, Bad Boy General's line,
[03:48] Kaito
    "There are things a man learns to see
    because he endures," was so intense!
[03:54] Nagare
    You really like Bad Boy General,
    don't you, Kaito?
[03:58] Kaito
    Obviously!
[03:59] Kaito
    I mean, I grew out this regent
    because I want to be
[04:02] Kaito
    a passionate man like the General!
[04:05] Mitsuo
    You used Bad Boy General
    as your Hero Suit, too.
[04:08] Kaito
    Yeah, it's Enter the Gold now, though.
[04:11] Kaito
    It's a Hero Suit I got in exchange
    for a ten billion yen debt.
[04:15] Kaito
    I'm gonna use it in the Big Money Hero
    Wars to win, win, and win some more!
[04:20] Fukuta
    Ten billion yen...
[04:21] Mitsuo
    Debt...
[04:24] Kaito
    Getting down won't get us anywhere!
[04:26] Kaito
    I've already entered,
[04:28] Kaito
    so let's get to town and look
    for someone to Hero Battle!
[04:31] Nagare
    Oh, wait, Kaito.
[04:33] Nagare
    You have to get your hair cut first.
[04:35] Nagare
    You told us at break time that your
    sister gave you money yesterday
[04:38] Nagare
    and told you to get one, right?
[04:40] ---
    What? I was just about to
    get started. You're no fun!
[04:43] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun.
[04:44] Mitsuo
    Getting your personal appearance in order
[04:46] Mitsuo
    is one of the most basic of business basics.
[04:48] Kaito
    What?
[04:51] Fukuta
    I got a zap, though!
[04:54] Fukuta
    He says if your hair is long,
    you should get a haircut!
[04:57] Nagare
    Uh, that sounds pretty obvious to me...
[04:59] Kaito
    Guess I'll have to...
[05:01] Kaito
    Platina's prophecies are never
    wrong, so I should listen.
[05:04] Kaito
    But I want to hurry and
    have a battle. What a pain...
[05:07] Kaito
    I know!
[05:08] Kaito
    Nagare, go get a haircut for me!
[05:10] Nagare
    Huh, me?
[05:11] Kaito
    Please, Nagare?
[05:13] Kaito
    You're Big Money Company's
    Head of Whatever.
[05:15] Kaito
    Call it company orders!
[05:17] Nagare
    Guess I have no choice...
[05:18] Nagare
    Wait, that's not even possible!
[05:21] Nagare
    It's your hair that's grown long,
[05:22] Nagare
    so there's no point in me getting mine cut!
[05:25] Kaito
    Darn...
[05:27] [SONG] ---
    Shopping
SIGN    Big Money Shopping District
[05:28] Kaito
    When you speak of hairdos,
    you think of regents.
[05:30] Kaito
    And if you want a regent,
    this is the place to go!
[05:33] ---
    Your usual stop, Haircut Palace, right?
[05:36] Kaito
    Yeah!
[05:37] Kaito
    Wh-What?!
SIGN    Haircut Palace
[05:39] Fukuta
    It's closed, though.
[05:42] Mitsuo
    "Due to various circumstances,
    this shop is now closed."
[05:46] Kaito
    Closed?! Why?!
[05:48] Kaito
    If this place shuts down,
    where do I go to get my regent?!
[05:52] Mitsuo
    I can't breathe, Kaito-kun...
[05:53] Mitsuo
    There's nothing I can do about it.
[05:56] Shop
    Oh, if it ain't Kaito.
[05:58] Mitsuo
    The owner of Haircut Palace!
[06:00] Kaito
    Old man!
[06:01] Kaito
    What do you mean the shop's closed?
[06:03] Kaito
    Why are you shutting it down?!
[06:05] Shop
    The reason is that.
[06:06] Kaito
    That?
[06:09] Kaito
    Whoa! Wh-What is that?
[06:11] Shop
    Salon de Delon.
[06:13] Shop
    They're a business rival that
    set up shop near mine recently.
[06:17] Shop
    Before I knew it, they'd pulled up
    my customer base by the roots,
[06:20] Shop
    and my business was doomed.
[06:22] Kaito
    If you give up just because of that,
    who will give me my regent 'do?!
[06:27] Shop
    Thanks, Kaito.
[06:28] Shop
    I'm happy to hear you say that,
[06:30] Shop
    but there's nothin' I can do now.
[06:33] Shop
    To this day,
[06:34] Shop
    I've honed my skills as best I could to
    give my customers their desired haircuts,
[06:39] Shop
    but, in these times,
[06:41] Shop
    no one can get by on just that
    old-fashioned pride in their work.
[06:47] Shop
    Sorry, Kaito.
[06:48] Shop
    I'd like to cut your hair as a farewell gift,
[06:52] Shop
    but I'm no good at sentimental stuff like that.
[06:55] Shop
    See ya.
[06:56] Shop
    I've got to get ready to move, so do excuse me.
[07:01] Kaito
    Old man...
[07:07] Kaito
    How about it? Find anything out?
[07:09] Mitsuo
    Yes. Salon de Delon...
[07:11] Mitsuo
    "A beauty parlor managed by the
    charismatic French beautician, Delon Arai.
[07:16] Mitsuo
    He's opened many branch shops
    in various locations nationwide."
[07:19] Mitsuo
    Plus, he invests the money he makes as
    a professional fight leader into advertising,
[07:24] Mitsuo
    and by tying into all sorts of media,
    he has rapidly gained customers.
[07:28] Fukuta
    Haircut Palace has no chance
    of beating that, though.
[07:31] Mitsuo
    Business is heartless.
[07:34] Kaito
    What're you saying?!
[07:35] Kaito
    The old man's regent is the best on Earth!
[07:37] ---
    How could he lose to some borrowing (karimasu) and lending (kashimasu) beautician?
[07:41] Nagare
    It's "charisma (karisuma)," Kaito.
[07:43] Kaito
    I don't really get it,
[07:44] Kaito
    but it's clear he's just some superficial
    jerk who can advertise well!
[07:47] Kaito
    I'll test him and see just how skilled he is!
[07:50] Kaito
    If he gives me some awful regent,
    then I'll take it all out on him!
[07:56] Kaito
    Excuse me!
[07:58] Delon
    Welcome!
[08:00] Delon
    Here, here, over here!
[08:05] Delon
    My! You're such a lucky boy!
[08:08] Delon
    The charismatic beautician, moi,
    is personally styling your hair!
[08:12] Delon
    How lucky for you to have
    come during a lull in customers!
[08:16] Delon
    Truly, truly!
[08:19] Kaito
    I want it like this.
[08:22] Delon
    Oh...
[08:24] Delon
    Okay!
[08:25] Delon
    Leave it to moi!
    Moi shall hit it right on the mark!
[08:35] Delon
    Yes. All done!
[08:39] Kaito
    Wh-What's this?!
[08:41] Delon
    Dear, dear, you don't know?
[08:43] Delon
    This is all the rage right now,
    the super popular Rainbow Mohawk.
[08:50] Kaito
    I asked you to give me a regent cut!
[08:53] Kaito
    Why'd you give me this kooky hairdo?
[08:56] Delon
    But, but, but!
[08:58] Delon
    The hairstyle you requested is
    so old-fashioned and frumpy.
[09:03] Delon
    Delon calls that a non non!
[09:07] Delon
    The most popular star
[09:09] Delon
    in the world of showbiz,
    "Ham-Katsu" or Katsuya Hamura,
SIGN    Katsuya Hamura
[09:14] Delon
    and the media's most beloved
SIGN    Oshime Choriki
[09:16] Delon
    diapered idol, Oshime Choriki-chan,
[09:18] Delon
    both say this is a great hairstyle!
[09:20] Delon
    Oh, it's too much!
[09:21] Delon
    Delon is getting embarrassed!
[09:23] Delon
    So, so, the tabloids, TV, everyone agrees!
[09:27] Delon
    You have no choice but to
    ride on this wave, boy!
[09:31] Kaito
    Cut the crap!
[09:32] Kaito
    Quit babbling and put it back the way it was!
[09:35] Delon
    I refuse.
[09:37] Kaito
    Then let's settle it with these.
[09:40] Kaito
    A match with a Gamble Rule!
[09:41] Kaito
    If I win, give me my regent hair back! Got it?
[09:45] Nagare
    Uh, Kaito, I don't think that's possible...
[09:48] Kaito
    What? Are you saying I'll lose or something?
[09:51] Nagare
    It's not that...
[09:52] Delon
    Fine.
[09:54] Delon
    But, if moi wins, what will you do for moi?
[09:58] Kaito
    You can give all of them rainbow mohawks!
[10:01] All
    What?!
[10:02] Mitsuo
    Don't decide that on your own!
[10:03] Fukuta
    I don't want a rainbow mohawk, though!
[10:06] Delon
    Moi doesn't like it, either!
[10:07] Delon
    Moi doesn't want to fiddle
    around with you brats' hair.
[10:11] Delon
    But, but!
[10:13] Delon
    If you can let me have my way with some
    supremely glossy, long black hair,
[10:18] Delon
    then I don't mind going along with it.
[10:20] Kaito
    Glossy, long black hair?
[10:23] Mitsuo
    Speaking of pretty black hair...
[10:25] Fukuta
    There's Kaito's sister, though...
[10:28] Kaito
    All right! Then I'll bet my sister's hair!
[10:31] Others
    Huh?!
[10:32] Nagare
    Kaito!
[10:33] Fukuta
    I really think you should quit while you're—
[10:34] Torai
    Wait a second!
[10:36] Kaito
    Torai! Why are you here?
[10:39] Torai
    I-It's not like I was gettin' a vogue hair style
[10:42] Torai
    to try an' get Ai's attention or anything!
[10:44] Torai
    Don't get me wrong!
[10:46] Torai
    Anyway, betting Ai's black hair on a battle?
[10:49] Torai
    What's the meaning of that?
    I won't allow it!
[10:52] Kaito
    Why do I need your permission?
[10:55] Torai
    Why? Well...
[10:59] Delon
    Oh?
[11:01] Nagare
    That's a picture of Kaito's sister.
[11:03] Kaito
    Torai, why do you have a picture of my sister?
[11:07] Torai
    Well... Um...
[11:09] Delon
    Excellent! Beautiful!
[11:11] Delon
    This is ideal black hair!
[11:14] Delon
    If you're betting this,
    I'll go along with your Gamble Rule!
[11:17] Kaito
    All right, it's decided!
[11:18] Torai
    Huh? Ah, hey...
[11:20] Kaito
    Here we go! Let's start the battle!
[11:22] Torai
    Hey, you're ignoring me?!
[11:36] Kaito
    Bankfon G, activate!
[11:38] Kaito
    Job change!
[11:44] Kaito
    Enter the Gold!
SIGN    Enter the Gold
[11:48] Delon
    Job change!
[11:53] Delon
    Scissors Beauty!
SIGN    Scissors Beauty
[11:56] Announcer
    Here we go!
[11:58] Announcer
    It's the start of yet another hot battle!
[12:00] Announcer
    Aiming to clear the Big
    Money Hero Wars qualifiers,
[12:03] Announcer
    these two fight leaders
    are sending sparks flying!
[12:06] Announcer
    First, a man well-known in all forms of media,
[12:08] Announcer
    the battling beautician,
    Scissors Beauty, Delon Arai!
[12:12] Announcer
    Facing him, an elementary schooler
    who looks like he could burn,
[12:15] Announcer
    Enter the Gold, Kaito Gosho!
[12:19] Kaito
    I'm gonna rip you a whole new one,
    so prepare yourself!
[12:22] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun, was this really a good idea?
[12:24] Mitsuo
    Making your sister's hair the
    subject of a Gamble Rule...
[12:28] Kaito
    I'm sure that if I lose this
    battle, Sis will kill me.
[12:32] Ai
    Kaito!
[12:38] Kaito
    Don't worry.
[12:40] Kaito
    I'll definitely win.
[12:42] Announcer
    Hero Battle!
[12:45] Kaito/Delon
    Fight!
[12:48] Kaito
    Victory to the swift!
[12:50] ---
    Slip.
[12:53] Delon
    Oh? Swing and a miss...
[12:56] Delon
    You've got to aim well
    or you'll never connect.
[13:00] Kaito
    You jerk!
[13:02] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun, calm down!
[13:04] Mitsuo
    Don't fall for his taunts!
[13:05] Kaito
    I'm gonna open a wind tunnel in his butt!
[13:08] Fukuta
    Amazing! He's dodging them all
    by a hair's breadth, though!
[13:12] Nagare
    His movements are almost like
    hair fluttering in the wind.
[13:15] Mitsuo
    In a word, Kaito-kun's attacks
    are like a sudden gust.
[13:18] Mitsuo
    If he took them head-on, then even if
    he guarded, there would be damage.
[13:21] Mitsuo
    But, if he evades them with
    agility, there's no effect.
[13:26] Kaito
    Why, you!
[13:29] Delon
    Shaggy Style!
[13:37] Nagare
    That was...
[13:37] Mitsuo
    As the name suggests,
[13:39] Mitsuo
    it was the hand technique
    he uses to create a shaggy cut.
[13:43] Delon
    Dance like hair, cut like scissors!
[13:47] Delon
    This is the way moi fights!
[13:53] Kaito
    A weak attack like that...
[13:56] Delon
    You're open! Bubble Shampoo!
[14:01] Kaito
    Ow!
[14:03] Delon
    Oh? That shook you up more than I expected.
[14:06] Delon
    Boy, do you dislike shampoo?
[14:10] Kaito
    Ack!
[14:10] Mitsuo
    What a bullseye!
[14:12] Mitsuo
    For Kaito-kun, a fifth grader who still uses a shampoo hat to wash his hair,
[14:16] Mitsuo
    getting foam in his eyes
    is his absolute weakness!
[14:18] Kaito
    Mitsuo! How do you know that?!
[14:22] Mitsuo
    Gathering intelligence is a business basic!
[14:25] Delon
    Now that I know your weak spot, you are mine!
[14:28] Delon
    Bubble Shampoo, Random Blast!
[14:34] Delon
    Dance, dance, my bubbles!
[14:36] Delon
    Dance like mad with my bubbles!
[14:39] Kaito
    I can't see anything!
[14:41] Delon
    You'll be able to see soon enough...
[14:43] Delon
    The word "defeat"!
[14:48] Fukuta
    Kaito's taking a lot of damage, though!
[14:51] Mitsuo
    He can't get a single attack in...
[14:53] Mitsuo
    At this rate, Kaito will lose...
[14:55] Nagare
    No, not yet!
[14:57] Nagare
    He keeps on taking so much damage,
[15:00] Nagare
    but he hasn't taken one step back!
[15:01] Fukuta
    Huh?
[15:02] Mitsuo
    You're right!
[15:04] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun has been standing firm in
    the center of the ring the whole time!
[15:08] A
    That guy in the unfamiliar Hero
    Suit is really going all out, huh?
[15:13] B
    Seeing him endure all that
    gets me pumped up, too.
[15:25] Delon
    Why don't you just lose
    already and take it easy?
[15:28] Delon
    There's no place in the modern day for
    you with that Bad Boy regent style!
[15:33] Kaito
    I love Yummy Sticks'
    shrimp-mayonnaise flavor!
[15:37] Delon
    Huh?
[15:38] Kaito
    Mitsuo likes veggie salad,
[15:40] Kaito
    Fukuta likes teriyaki burger,
[15:42] Kaito
    Nagare likes brown sugar...
[15:45] Kaito
    Everyone has their own preferences!
[15:47] Kaito
    I'm not gonna just follow trends!
[15:50] Kaito
    I'll stick with my Bad Boy!
[15:53] Delon
    This brat...
[15:57] Shop
    Kaito, you...
[16:00] A
    Enter the Gold!
[16:01] A
    I've taken a liking to that Bad Boy willpower!
[16:04] A
    I'm cheering you on!
[16:06] B
    Me, too!
[16:07] Girl
    So am I!
[16:10] Nagare
    This is...
[16:11] Fukuta
    He's raking it in, though!
[16:15] Sennen
    The sight of Kaito not backing down an inch
[16:18] Sennen
    seems to have moved the
    hearts of the spectators.
[16:21] Delon
    No matter how much battle
    money you save up,
[16:23] Delon
    it doesn't change the fact that you
    cannot make a move against moi!
[16:27] Kaito
    Endure it, Kaito!
[16:29] Kaito
    If you don't stand firm
    here, you're not a man!
[16:32] BBG
    There are things a man learns
    to see because he endures.
[16:37] Kaito
    Things a man learns to see because he endures...
[16:43] Kaito
    What's that?
[16:45] Kaito
    I can... I can see something.
[16:52] Kaito
    Here he comes!
[16:56] Delon
    What?! He dodged it?
[16:58] Nagare
    He shouldn't have been able to see it. How?
[17:01] Sennen
    His heart's eye?
[17:06] Kaito
    Don't underestimate elementary schoolers!
[17:10] Delon
    He ripped my butt chin a new one!
[17:21] Nagare
    No way...
[17:22] Nagare
    He knocked him out with one blow...
[17:24] Announcer
    He's done it!
[17:26] Announcer
    Enter the Gold turned it completely around!
[17:28] Announcer
    With a single decisive blow, he floored
    his strong opponent, Scissors Beauty!
[17:34] Sennen
    A blow fired with a honed heart
[17:38] Sennen
    is superior to a thousand blind strikes.
[17:41] Sennen
    It looks like you've become a bit
    better at wearing Enter the Gold.
[17:50] Delon
    I lost.
[17:52] Kaito
    H-Huh?
[17:54] Nagare
    Kaito!
[17:55] Fukuta
    You did it, though!
[17:56] Kaito
    Did I actually win?
[17:58] Mitsuo
    You did!
[18:00] Mitsuo
    You turned the tables in one shot
    and won a huge victory!
[18:03] Kaito
    I knew it! I am the strongest!
[18:10] Kaito
    Darn it! What's with that jerk?
[18:12] Kaito
    He lost the battle, and now he's saying
    he can't turn my hair back into a regent!
[18:16] Kaito
    That's breaking the rules!
[18:18] Nagare
    I don't think there's anything
    he can do about it...
[18:25] Kaito
    Hey...
[18:27] Kaito
    The shop is open.
[18:29] Kaito
    Old man!
[18:33] Shop
    Oh, Kaito.
[18:35] Fukuta
    Mister, if the shop's open, then...
[18:38] Kaito
    Haircut Palace is going to stay around?!
[18:40] Shop
    Yes...
[18:41] Shop
    I thought it over, and even if my
    rival stole some of my customers,
[18:45] Shop
    if I'd just trusted in my abilities,
    I could've kept the shop going.
[18:50] Shop
    And yet, I let my heart fold at some point.
[18:54] Shop
    But, Kaito.
[18:55] Shop
    When I saw you stand your ground earlier,
[18:58] Shop
    I felt like giving it another shot.
[19:00] Shop
    Your tenacity lit a fire in my worker's spirit.
[19:06] Kaito
    Old man...
[19:07] Shop
    How about it, Kaito?
[19:08] Shop
    To celebrate the reopening,
    why don't I give you a regent?
[19:12] Kaito
    Seriously?! Please!
[19:14] Mitsuo
    Uh, you can say that all you want, but...
[19:16] Fukuta
    I don't think you'll be able to get
    his head back to normal, though.
[19:24] Shop
    All done. How is it?
[19:31] Kaito
    All right!
[19:32] Kaito
    This is what I'm talking about!
[19:34] Kaito
    I knew you could do it, old man!
[19:36] Mitsuo
    It's back to normal...
[19:37] Fukuta
    His skill is just a hair too supernatural...
[19:43] Ai
    So ultimately, the man at Haircut
    Palace cut your hair for free?
[19:48] Kaito
    Yeah. He said it was a gift,
    so I didn't have to pay.
[19:51] Ai
    Give me back the money I gave
    you to get a haircut, then.
[19:54] Kaito
    Aw! Why?
[19:55] Kaito
    Don't get your butthole all in a knot.
[19:57] Ai
    It is not!
[19:59] Kaito
    Is it wide open, then?
[20:01] Ai
    Of course it's not!
[20:02] Ai
    And stop talking about
    buttholes while we're eating!
[20:06] Kaito
    But you just said it too, Sis.
[20:09] Ai
    Kaito!
[20:10] Kaito
    Why're you mad at me?!
[20:12] Ai
    Because you're saying weird stuff!
[20:15] Kaito
    I didn't say anything weird!
[20:30] Nagare
    Strong...
[20:31] Nagare
    Kaito, you are truly strong.
[20:37] Nagare
    But, so am I...
[22:15] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun, let's do the next episode
    preview right once in a while.
[22:19] Kaito
    But we've only got 15 seconds.
[22:20] Fukuta
    You could just mention
    the highlights, though.
[22:22] Kaito
    Loincloths!
[22:23] Mitsuo
    That's even less clear!
[22:24] Kaito
    Next time: "Burst Angler!
    A Meeting with Piscesamurai!!"
SIGN    "Burst Angler! A Meeting with Piscesamurai!!"
[22:27] Kaito
    Let's rake in the dough!