30 - Take Down the Seven Gods of Suits! Kaito's a Special Agent!!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Kaito
    The city was in total chaos due to the
    sudden descent of the Tower of Seizure!
[00:04] Kaito
    When a man using a white tiger
    Hero Suit appeared, I challenged him,
[00:10] Kaito
    but I got into a bind and
    Sekito saved me again...
[00:13] Kaito
    To make things worse,
    when I pooped at home,
[00:15] Kaito
    a poop god appeared from the toilet!
SIGN    HERO BANK
SIGN    Take Down the Seven Gods of Suits! Kaito's a Special Agent!!
[01:50] Kaito
    Take Down the Seven Gods of Suits!
[01:52] Kaito
    Kaito's a Special Agent!!
[01:57] Kaito
    S-Sis! Gramps!
[02:00] Kaito
    Something came out!
[02:02] Ai
    Oh, give it a rest!
[02:04] Ai
    Of course something came out.
    You're on the toile—
[02:08] Ai
    Huh? Um...
[02:10] Ai
    Who might you be?
[02:11] Boo
    A real pig has appeared, ka-ching!
[02:13] Nagata
    I see you haven't changed.
[02:15] Ai
    Huh? C-Could this person be...
[02:18] Zouan
    Th-The cabinet prime minister?!
[02:23] Yagami
    Prime Minister!
[02:27] Ai
    Some tea for you...
[02:28] Yagami
    Thank you.
[02:30] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun!
[02:32] Fukuta
    It's really the cabinet prime minister, though!
[02:36] Yagami
    Yes. This man is indeed our nation's prime minister,
[02:40] Yagami
    Musaku Nagata himself!
[02:42] Yagami
    By the way, I am the secretary
    of the Cyber Bureau, Asuka Yagami.
[02:48] Kaito
    The oden butterfly (oden no chou)?
[02:51] Yagami
    The Cyber Bureau (dennou chou)!
[02:53] Kaito
    So, what's that?
[02:55] Boo
    Listen, you!
[02:56] Boo
    The Cyber Bureau manages and protects
[02:59] Boo
    the security of all networks,
    including the Hero Bank airspace!
SIGN    Cyber Bureau
[03:02] Boo
    It's a righteous government office, ka-ching!
[03:04] Fukuta
    You're pretty knowledgeable, though.
[03:06] Boo
    Boo is an autonomous money collection system
    developed at the Cyber Bureau, ka-ching!
[03:11] Ai
    Wow, Boo-chan, that's amazing!
[03:13] Mitsuo
    In other words, you're a piggy bank.
[03:18] Boo
    Ka-ching, ka-ching!
[03:19] Boo
    I smell black money, ka-ching!
[03:24] Boo
    What are you doing, ka-ching?!
[03:25] Kaito
    What's with him?
[03:27] Fukuta
    He's telling him not to steal his job, though.
[03:29] Nagata
    So they have come...
SIGN    Seizure
SIGN    Analyzing . . .
[03:45] Hikari
    A powerful airspace suppression
    program is being deployed.
[03:48] Sennen
    What in the world?
SIGN    Incoming Sennen Call
[03:53] Kaito
    What's up, old man?
[03:54] Sennen
    We've got trouble, Kaito!
[03:57] Sennen
    Hero Bank Company has been taken over!
[03:59] Kaito
    What?
[04:00] Sennen
    Cyberspace control has fallen
    completely into enemy hands!
[04:05] Boo
    That's scary, ka-ching!
SIGN    New Money
SIGN    Savings
SIGN    Hero Bank
    Times
[04:47] Maki
    An abnormal situation is
    developing across the country!
[04:50] Maki
    Everyone, please look at this!
[04:52] Kaito
    That's...
[04:53] Nagata
    The Tower of Seizure!
[04:55] Maki
    The mysterious tower, which had thus far
    only been observed in the Big Money District,
[04:59] Maki
    is now being confirmed simultaneously
    in seven locations across the country!
[05:03] Kakei
    Hear me, ignorant masses!
[05:05] Maki
    What? Where is this voice coming from?!
[05:15] Kakei
    We, the cyber pirates,
    have launched the Towers of Seizure!
SIGN    Ryuuga Tennouji
[05:21] Kakei
    Ryuuga Tennouji!
SIGN    Emiya Bukimi
[05:23] Kakei
    Emiya Bukimi!
SIGN    Benten Kureha
[05:26] Kakei
    Benten Kureha!
SIGN    Touki Himuro
[05:28] Kakei
    Touki Himuro!
SIGN    Hokosu Shachi
[05:30] Kakei
    Hokosu Shachi!
SIGN    Hyouri Aimu
[05:33] Kakei
    Hyouri Aimu!
[05:35] Kakei
    And I am the leader, Kyousuke Kakei!
SIGN    Kyousuke Kakei
[05:40] Kakei
    Remember those names well.
[05:42] Kakei
    We are the upper echelon of cyber pirates
    who will control this country from now on:
SIGN    The Seven Gods of Suits
[05:47] Kakei
    The Seven Gods of Suits!
[05:51] Kaito
    The Seven Gods of Suits?
[05:55] Sekito
    They're the Seven Gods of Suits...
[05:58] Kakei
    The die has been cast!
[06:01] Kakei
    Japan has already been
    placed under our control!
[06:05] Kakei
    World, know this for certain.
[06:08] Kakei
    Henceforth, Japan will be
    separated into seven areas,
[06:12] Kakei
    and each area will be managed
    as an independent municipality.
[06:15] Kakei
    Citizens who live in each area,
[06:17] Kakei
    serve, revere, and pay tribute
    the Seven Gods of Suits!
[06:21] Kakei
    No objections!
[06:23] Kakei
    We were able to take control of all
    Japan so easily from cyberspace
[06:28] Kakei
    because we had the cooperation of the
    Cyber Bureau, which governs cyberspace!
[06:34] Ai
    The Cyber Bureau?
[06:36] Kakei
    Rise up, Cyber Bureau personnel!
[06:39] Kakei
    They shall be called Civil Soldiers!
[06:44] Serv
    Job change!
SIGN    Civil Soldiers
[06:48] Serv
    Money!
[06:52] Kaito
    One-yen coins?!
[06:54] Mitsuo
    They're not so much Civil Soldiers...
[06:55] Fukuta
    ...as militants, though!
[07:00] Kakei
    Ignorant masses!
[07:01] Kakei
    The Tower of Seizure will
    repossess all your assets!
[07:05] Kakei
    Obey us, the Seven Gods of Suits!
[07:09] Serv
    Money!
[07:19] Kaito
    That jerk...
[07:22] Sekito
    So, it's begun at last.
[07:24] Kaito
    Sekito!
[07:25] Fukuta
    Why are you here?
[07:26] Nagata
    He knows much about the cyber world.
[07:29] Nagata
    As such, he's been appointed
    as a government special agent.
[07:33] Kaito
    What language was that?
[07:35] Mitsuo
    The short version is: he's really smart.
[07:37] Kaito
    Wow, this soybean-bar guy is?
[07:41] Nagata
    Kaito-kun,
[07:42] Nagata
    and you gentlemen of Big Money Company...
[07:45] Nagata
    You are all heroes who commendably
    resolved the recent Money Ghost incident.
[07:50] Nagata
    I'd like to ask you to be Anti-Seven Gods of
    Suits special agents for the government.
[07:54] All
    What?!
[08:09] Kaito
    Us? Agents?
[08:12] Mitsuo
    Let's do it, Kaito-kun!
[08:14] Both
    Seriously?
[08:15] Mitsuo
    This is a business opportunity!
[08:17] Mitsuo
    If we have the prime minister's backing,
[08:18] Mitsuo
    we'll get operational funds from the nation!
[08:21] Mitsuo
    With federal funds as our seed
    money, we can make a killing!
[08:25] Ai
    Mitsuo-kun's changed.
[08:27] Zouan
    Money changes a person.
[08:29] Fukuta
    I'm in, too, though.
[08:31] Kaito
    You, too, Fukuta?
[08:33] Fukuta
    If the nation backs us,
[08:35] Fukuta
    we might be called "Sensei" and turn
    out popular wherever we go, though!
[08:41] Zouan
    Now I* want to join in!
[08:43] Ai
    That's such an old-man way of getting popular!
[08:46] Nagata
    Please!
[08:47] Nagata
    Yes!
[08:50] Nagata
    I beg of you!
[08:54] Kaito
    What're you doing?!
[08:56] Zouan
    I never thought I'd see the prime
    minister prostrating himself.
[08:58] Zouan
    Thank you, thank you.
[09:00] Kaito
    Prostrating himself?!
[09:02] Mitsuo
    It looks like ordinary prostration.
[09:03] Mitsuo
    However, this is the legendary
    prostration said to fiercely move
[09:08] Mitsuo
    the hearts of all who receive it!
[09:10] Ai
    A prime minister who's good
    at prostrating himself?
[09:13] Yagami
    Kaito-kun, your friends seem up for it.
[09:17] Yagami
    Please, give us your consent, as well.
[09:21] Yagami
    When you do, I'll team you up
[09:23] Yagami
    with Sekito-kun as an agent
    and have you mobilized.
[09:25] Kaito
    With Sekito?
[09:28] Sekito
    I won't accept it.
[09:30] Kaito
    I won't accept you, either!
[09:34] Mitsuo
    Please wait, Kaito-kun!
[09:37] Mitsuo
    If the cyber pirates take over the whole nation,
[09:39] Mitsuo
    Yummy Sticks will be repossessed, too,
[09:41] Mitsuo
    and we won't be able to eat the regional
    specialty Yummy Sticks we haven't tried yet!
[09:45] Kaito
    What?
[09:46] Fukuta
    We might not be able to have Hero
    Battles anymore, either, though!
[09:51] Kaito
    Hero Battles...
[09:58] Kaito
    If we beat them, we might find Nagare.
[10:02] Mitsuo
    That's right!
[10:03] Fukuta
    Let's be agents, though!
[10:05] Kaito
    Hey, what happened to that tower
    after it fell on our school?
[10:10] Sekito
    Nothing happened to it.
[10:13] Mitsuo
    Do you think cyberspace will go back
    to normal if we destroy that tower?
[10:18] Fukuta
    It's worth trying, though!
[10:20] Kaito
    All right, let's go!
[10:22] Yagami
    Please wait!
[10:23] Yagami
    Control of cyberspace is control of the network.
[10:27] Yagami
    For example...
[10:28] Yagami
    The surveillance cameras placed around
    the city are connected by a network.
[10:32] Yagami
    Since these are under their control,
[10:34] Yagami
    you can assume the enemy can see
    you anywhere you go in the city.
[10:39] Kaito
    That's bad!
[10:41] Fukuta
    So what do we do, though?
[10:43] Yagami
    That's where toilets come in!
[10:45] All
    Toilets?
[10:47] Yagami
    Now, go ahead.
[10:49] Yagami
    Please jump in!
[10:51] Kaito
    Huh? Jump in?
[10:53] Mitsuo
    That's totally dirty!
[10:55] Ai
    How rude!
[10:56] Ai
    I make sure to clean it!
[10:58] Fukuta
    It's more about how gross
    it makes you feel, though.
[11:01] Zouan
    But the prime minister and secretary
    came out of here, didn't they?
[11:05] Yagami
    That is correct.
[11:07] Yagami
    In truth, this is a warp machine with a
    powerful deodorization function attached.
[11:10] Yagami
    Its name is "Snuffed Out."
[11:13] Kaito
    "Butt Out"?
[11:14] Ai
    I thought he'd say that!
[11:16] Yagami
    It's a groundbreaking invention
    that will allow you to move around
[11:20] Yagami
    without the cyber pirates finding out.
[11:22] Nagata
    There is no other means of moving
    around without them noticing.
[11:27] Kaito
    Wow, interesting!
[11:29] Mitsuo
    But it's a toilet!
[11:32] Boo
    Here we go, ka-ching!
[11:40] Zouan
    It's gold!
[11:42] Kaito
    Now we'll know what poop feels like!
[11:44] Fukuta
    That's not a feeling I want
    to experience, though.
[11:45] Mitsuo
    I guess there's no way around it...
[11:48] Kaito
    Let's go!
[11:49] Kaito
    Big Money Company, business trip!
[12:10] Kaito
    I feel refreshed!
[12:13] Fukuta
    We made it through unscathed, though!
[12:14] Mitsuo
    This toilet is surprisingly useful.
[12:17] Mitsuo
    I sense a business opportunity!
[12:20] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun, please be careful.
[12:22] Mitsuo
    Don't let the enemy spot you.
[12:25] Mitsuo
    What's wrong?
[12:27] Kaito
    Uh-oh...
[12:28] Serv
    Money...
[12:29] Serv
    Money!
[12:32] Kaito
    Run for it, guys!
[12:41] Maezono
    What are you guys doing here?!
[12:44] Sekito
    Who do you work for?
[12:46] Maezono
    I've taken over this Big Money District
    on behalf of Ryuuga Tennouji-sama,
[12:50] Maezono
    the Kansai Branch Head.
[12:52] Maezono
    I'm Butsudou Maezono!
[12:54] Sekito
    I see, so your boss is Ryuuga?
[12:58] Kaito
    Buddha statue (butsuzou)?
[12:59] Maezono
    Who're you callin' a buddha statue?!
[13:01] Maezono
    Hey, you do it, too!
[13:03] Underlings
    Yes, sir! Excuse me!
[13:05] Kaito
    A tag battle?
[13:07] Sekito
    It's my job. I'll do it!
[13:09] Kaito
    What do you mean, your job?
[13:10] Kaito
    I can do it, too!
[13:11] Sekito
    Stay out of it!
[13:12] Sekito
    You can't win!
[13:15] Sekito
    Bank register, activate!
[13:19] Sekito
    Data call!
[13:21] Sekito
    Card entry!
[13:24] Sekito
    Job change!
[13:29] Sekito
    Credit Loan Wolf!
[13:32] [SONG] Sign
    Credit Loan Wolf
[13:36] Kaito
    Bank register, activate!
[13:39] Kaito
    Job change!
[13:45] Kaito
    Enter the Gold!
SIGN    Enter the Gold
[13:50] Maezono
    Rampage Suit, Pirate Bad Boy General!
[13:54] Underlings
    Similarly, Pirate Bad Boy Commander!
[13:56] Kaito
    How dare you do that to Bad Boy General?!
[14:00] Kaito
    You ruined how cool he is!
[14:01] Boo
    Kaito is so passionate, ka-ching.
[14:03] Mitsuo
    That's to be expected!
[14:05] Fukuta
    Bad Boy General is Kaito's
    favorite hero program, though!
[14:09] Sekito
    Do what you want.
[14:12] Announcer
    Here we go!
[14:14] Announcer
    A battle of Rampage Suit versus Hero Suit
[14:17] Announcer
    is about to begin in this cyberspace
    controlled by the Seven Gods of Suits!
[14:21] Announcer
    My live coverage will remain neutral!
[14:26] Sennen
    Kaito!
[14:27] Hikari
    He's battling them?!
[14:29] Announcer
    Enter the Gold and Credit Loan Wolf versus
[14:32] Announcer
    the vilified Bad Boy General
    and Bad Boy Commander!
[14:36] Announcer
    No time limit!
[14:37] Announcer
    Hero Battle!
[14:40] Kaito
    Fight!
[14:41] Kaito
    Don't underestimate elementary schoolers!
[14:44] Kaito
    Feel Good Punch!
[14:46] Maezono
    Rampage Fearless Knuckle!
[14:52] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun!
[14:53] Fukuta
    The Rampage Suits really are strong, though!
[14:58] Maezono
    Hey, show 'em your power.
[15:00] Underling
    Yes, sir!
[15:01] Announcer
    Ah, the General has been
    tagged by the Commander!
[15:04] Underling
    If I may...
[15:06] Announcer
    Bad Boy Commander goes in
    for an explosive onslaught!
[15:11] Maezono
    Weak, so weak!
[15:13] Maezono
    Not worth talkin' about!
[15:16] Kaito
    Right-side Rising Uppercut!
[15:20] Maezono
    Rampage Tag!
[15:22] Kaito
    What?
[15:23] Maezono
    Rampage Ultra Pompadour Cannon!
[15:29] Mitsuo
    Sekito-kun, please go help him!
[15:31] Fukuta
    If Kaito loses, our mission is over, too, though!
[15:35] Boo
    Okay, ka-ching?
[15:36] Maezono
    Deposit funds!
[15:40] Maezono
    I'll crush you with this easy
    money I rolled up from all of you!
[15:44] Kaito
    It might be easy money to you,
[15:46] Kaito
    but it's the money everyone
    else worked hard to save!
[15:49] Maezono
    Tag-team attack!
[15:50] Underling
    Yes, sir!
[15:53] Both
    Bad Boy Double Kick!
[15:55] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun!
[15:57] Kaito
    I'll rip you a new one!
[16:04] Kaito
    Bad Boy Commander doesn't
    have a skill like this!
[16:07] Maezono
    What's up?!
[16:08] Maezono
    Hero Battle rules no longer apply!
[16:10] Maezono
    We're in an era where anything's possible!
[16:15] Fukuta
    This is bad, though!
[16:17] Boo
    If Kaito loses, then you'll lose, too, ka-ching.
[16:21] Maezono
    You've been abandoned by your partner, too.
[16:34] Sekito
    Guess I've got no choice.
[16:37] Maezono
    Come and get it, brat!
[16:40] Announcer
    Now Credit Loan Wolf takes the stage!
[16:44] Mitsuo
    Kaito-kun!
[16:45] Fukuta
    Stand up, though!
[16:47] Maezono
    No matter who comes...
[16:48] Underling
    It'll be the same!
[16:51] Sekito
    Pivot Claw!
[16:53] Announcer
    Credit Loan Wolf is strong!
[16:57] Maezono
    Not bad!
[16:58] Sekito
    Moonfall Dunk!
[17:12] Kaito
    Amazing.
[17:13] Kaito
    He's strong... But...
[17:16] Announcer
    Wow, this one's charging in, too!
[17:18] Kaito
    I said I'd take care of these guys!
[17:27] Maezono
    You're open!
[17:29] Maezono
    What?
[17:32] Kaito
    Laugh! Smiles are free!
[17:35] Kaito
    Explosive Gold Rush!
[17:40] Maezono
    It can't be!
[17:42] Announcer
    It's over!
[17:44] Announcer
    The winner: Kaito Gosho!
[17:48] Kaito
    How's that?
[17:49] Kaito
    I took care of it myself!
[18:06] Fukuta
    Oh? The cyber pirates aren't here, though?
[18:11] Sekito
    They ran away, huh?
[18:13] Kaito
    Hello?
[18:15] Sennen
    You did it, Kaito!
[18:16] Hikari
    With the destruction of the Tower of Seizure,
[18:19] Hikari
    Big Money District has been freed
    from the cyber pirates' control!
[18:22] Kaito
    Really? Awesome!
[18:25] Sekito
    It's still too soon to celebrate.
[18:27] Sekito
    The monsters they've launched
    everywhere won't go down that easily.
[18:31] Ryuuga
    Maezono!
[18:33] Ryuuga
    Those who come back after
    a loss get punished!
[18:36] Maezono
    Yes, sir!
[18:37] Ryuuga
    Komagawa, prepare the Buttjet!
[18:40] Komakawa
    Yes, sir!
[18:41] Maezono
    Bro! A-Anything but that!
[18:45] Komakawa
    Don't think badly of me, Maezono.
[18:51] Ryuuga
    But how did they slip
    through our surveillance?
[18:55] Ryuuga
    I thought they were just morons,
[18:57] Ryuuga
    but it looks like I can't take 'em lightly.
[19:03] Ryuuga
    I see.
[19:04] Ryuuga
    Go look into it at once.
[19:08] Kaito
    I'll be an agent.
[19:10] Nagata
    Oh! So you accept?
[19:13] Kaito
    I hate Hero Battles like this.
[19:15] Kaito
    I want to go back to the sort
    of battles I used to have!
[19:18] Nagata
    Kaito-kun...
[19:20] Kaito
    Besides, not being able to eat Yummy Sticks
    is something I can't allow!
[19:26] Boo
    If that's all decided, sign this
    agent letter of consent, ka-ching!
SIGN    Agent Assignment Letter of Consent
[19:30] Yagami
    Please sign here.
[19:32] Kaito
    Right, right, I'll sign!
[19:35] Yagami
    This is a top secret assignment.
[19:38] Yagami
    Do take extra caution not to let
    the enemy learn who you really are.
[19:41] Mitsuo
    A top secret assignment?
[19:43] Fukuta
    It's so cool, like we're spies, though!
[19:46] Kaito
    Leave it to us!
[19:48] Nagata
    Work hard to pay everything
    back with that very spirit.
[19:51] Kaito
    Huh? Repay?
[19:53] Yagami
    The amount you've borrowed is written there.
SIGN    Agent Assignment Letter of Consent
    Big Money Company hereby consents on Month O Day X Year 26
    to being appointed special agents of the Cyber Bureau.
    Upon inauguration, we pledge to comply with the following.
    
    1. To defeat the Seven Gods of Suits who have seized
    seven locales across the nation, and liberate those areas.
    2. To not reveal we are government agents for the sake of our top secret mission.
    3. That we cannot quit midway for any reason whatsoever
    once we've consented to being agents.
    4. To not press charges even if we should get
    severely injured or die in the line of duty.
    
    That is all.
    
    Fine Print
    
    Furthermore, we hereby promise to take on the repayment of the maintenance
    fees of the warp device "Snuffed Out" incurred by this assignment along
    with all other sundry expenses as part of our assignment as agents.
    
    Repayment Sum: 1,000,000,000,000
    
    Name: Company President Kaito Gosho
[19:59] Kaito
    Um, how much is this?
[20:02] Yagami
    One trillion yen.
[20:05] All
    A trillion?!
[20:07] Yagami
    Since the toilet warp racks up maintenance fees,
[20:10] Yagami
    the government borrows money
    from respective corporations.
[20:12] Yagami
    You'll be covering this.
[20:15] Yagami
    One must pay back what one borrows.
[20:17] Yagami
    But, the government has been
    seized by the Seven Gods of Suits
[20:20] Yagami
    and can't do a thing.
[20:22] Yagami
    So henceforth,
[20:23] Yagami
    you will take on the repayment of
    the government's debt as your job.
[20:27] Yagami
    I'm begging you!
[20:29] Yagami
    Yes!
[20:30] Yagami
    We're counting on you,
    for the sake of the country!
[20:34] Boo
    By the way, it's Boo's duty to collect, ka-ching!
[20:37] Kaito
    A...
[20:38] Mitsuo
    A...
[20:39] Fukuta
    A...
[20:41] All
    Again?!
[22:15] Fukuta
    Being able to warp is amazing, though!
[22:18] Mitsuo
    But I wonder why it's a toilet.
[22:19] Kaito
    Because it's Hero Bank!
[22:22] Both
    I get it now!
[22:23] Kaito
    Next time, "Osaka Business Trip!
SIGN    "Osaka Business Trip! That Man is Taiga!!"
[22:25] Kaito
    That Man is Taiga!!"
[22:27] Kaito
    Let's rake in the dough!