1 - Don't Panic. It's a Spirit's Trap.

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:21] ---
    Waves are holding steady.
[00:23] ---
    The drugs have made
    her nerves super sensitive.
[00:28] ---
    Still, no signs of inversion. Crank it up.
[00:42] ---
    Nightmare's attacking!
[00:44] ---
    Call for backup from Implement 2!
[00:54] ---
    I finally found you,
    Second Spirit... "Sister."
[02:41] ---
    We're reading typical Spirit Wave levels.
[02:44] ---
    The path connecting you
    and the Spirits has normalized.
[02:49] ---
    Really? That's a relief.
[02:51] ---
    You had me worried
    with your rampage the other day,
[02:56] ---
    but I think it's safe
    to resume regular checkups.
[03:00] ---
    Sorry for all the trouble.
[03:03] ---
    Though, I can't even
    remember what happened.
[03:11] ---
    Shido! Is your checkup done?
[03:14] ---
    Hey, Tohka. Yeah, it went fine.
[03:18] ---
    That's wonderful!
[03:20] ---
    Thank goodness.
[03:22] ---
    Yoshino's been worried sick! She was
    holding Natsumi's hand the whole time!
[03:30] ---
    I see. Sorry to trouble you, guys.
[03:34] ---
    Don't be. It's not like we did anything.
[03:40] ---
    Aren't your checkups next?
[03:42] ---
    I'll buy stuff for dinner
    on the way home, so...
[03:46] ---
    Huh? Where's Kotori?
[03:48] ---
    Oh, she's busy with
    something in Exam Room 2.
[03:53] ---
    Hurry and you might catch her.
[03:55] ---
    All right. See you guys later.
[03:58] ---
    --Okay!
    --Yeah, yeah.
[04:04] ---
    Exam Room 2...
[04:07] ---
    It's this one, isn't it?
[04:11] ---
    Calm your butt down and let me strip you!
[04:16] ---
    K-Kotori?! Mana?!
[04:19] ---
    --Big brother!
    --Shido!
[04:21] ---
    S-Sorry for intruding,
    but it's wrong to force her into it!
[04:26] ---
    You've totally got the wrong idea.
[04:29] ---
    Kotori is forcing me to get a checkup!
[04:33] ---
    Huh?
[04:35] ---
    There's nothing wrong with me!
    And why do I have to listen to you?
[04:40] ---
    I told you! You need an exam with all
    the body enhancements DEM's done to you!
[04:46] ---
    My body's fine, thank you!
[04:49] ---
    But you keep stopping me from going
    on missions! I wanna help out, too!
[04:54] ---
    Then let me exam you! I'll discover stuff
    about your body you never knew!
[04:59] ---
    Big brother! Save me!
[05:14] ---
    "Happy New Year"
[05:20] ---
    Nobody has a clue there's
    a huge secret base under all this.
[05:29] ---
    "Blast"
    "Serial Publication"
[05:34] ---
    Huh?
[05:38] ---
    Whoa! What?!
[05:43] ---
    A-Are you okay?!
[05:45] ---
    Ar... ving.
[05:47] ---
    Huh? Wh-What was that?
[05:49] ---
    I'm... starving.
[05:53] ---
    Huh?
[05:58] ---
    Thanks, Boy.
[06:00] ---
    Of course. Say, do you want me
    to take you to the hospital?
[06:05] ---
    Oh, heck no. It's not like I'm sick.
[06:09] ---
    By the way, can you talk less polite?
    It feels so stiff.
[06:14] ---
    Oh... My apologies.
[06:16] ---
    There you go again. But anyway...
[06:23] ---
    I've been pushing 'em on you to show
    my thanks, but you haven't reacted.
[06:30] ---
    Are you a butt guy?
[06:33] ---
    Wh-What are you talking about?!
[06:35] ---
    Or a big boob lover that thinks
    anything under 80cm doesn't count?
[06:41] ---
    Sorry that my stack doesn't cut it.
[06:44] ---
    Can you not put me in weird groups?
[06:47] ---
    Oh. This building, please.
[06:54] ---
    Huh?
[06:56] ---
    Oof! Whew!
[06:59] ---
    Thanks, Boy.
[07:05] ---
    Are you a manga artist?
[07:07] ---
    You know it. Was working so hard,
    I forgot to eat.
[07:13] ---
    I was heading to the store to buy food
    when I found out how strong gravity is.
[07:19] ---
    Huh?!
[07:21] ---
    Is this what I think it is?!
    Silver Bullet?!
[07:25] ---
    I'm surprised you knew.
    Are you a reader? Thanks!
[07:30] ---
    Wait, hold up! That makes you
    the author, Souji Honjo?!
[07:35] ---
    Yup, that's right.
[07:37] ---
    Y-You're not a guy?
[07:39] ---
    It's my pen name.
    My real one's Nia. Nia Honjo.
[07:45] ---
    There's quite a few women using
    guy pen names to write shonen manga.
[07:50] ---
    You know, like Other Fake's Takajo.
[07:53] ---
    Wha--?! Hiroki Takajo, too?!
[07:56] ---
    Wait, it doesn't make sense!
[07:58] ---
    I mean, I read Silver Bullet
    in elementary school.
[08:02] ---
    And the author stopped writing
    for health reasons years ago.
[08:06] ---
    It's been ten years since my debut...
[08:10] ---
    I was out for a few reasons,
    but I'm starting back up.
[08:15] ---
    Check out the next volume. It'll be there.
[08:19] ---
    Ten years ago?
    But you don't even look 20 yet.
[08:29] ---
    B-Boy!
[08:31] ---
    Yeah, yeah. Lemme borrow your kitchen.
[08:36] ---
    Delicious! Delicious! What is this
    culinary magic?! What is it?!
[08:42] ---
    What kind of life do you live?
    All you have is beer in the fridge.
[08:47] ---
    Man! I haven't had a hot meal
    like this in a week!
[08:52] ---
    I'll clean up and leave, so try not
    to starve and collapse again.
[08:57] ---
    Now, now! Not so fast, Boy!
    You wanna earn some money?
[09:06] ---
    What am I even doing?
[09:08] ---
    Sorry. I don't usually use assistants,
    but the deadline is tight this time.
[09:14] ---
    It's fine, but what's the outfit for?
[09:17] ---
    For reference, but also as
    special thanks for your service!
[09:22] ---
    Look! I've got no boobs,
    but don't I got style?!
[09:26] ---
    Here. Is this good enough?
[09:30] ---
    Jeez! Trying to play cool?
[09:32] ---
    Whoa, you're not bad!
    More of where that came from!
[09:36] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[09:40] ---
    All done!
[09:43] ---
    I haven't focused that hard in ages!
[09:46] ---
    Thanks for all the help!
[09:48] ---
    Here! Come get your pay.
[09:50] ---
    Wh-What are you doing?!
[09:52] ---
    Don't be so fussy! C'mon, c'mon!
[09:55] ---
    "Pay"
    "Boy"
[10:03] ---
    Is having small boobs a sin?!
[10:06] ---
    Um... I'm leaving for real, so keep
    the money. It was a learning experience.
[10:13] ---
    Wait! Wait! That won't sit right with me!
[10:17] ---
    How about this? Next Saturday,
    I'll go on a date with you!
[10:21] ---
    A date?
[10:22] ---
    In Akihabara! I haven't bought
    much lately, so I wanna go!
[10:28] ---
    So I'm your bag carrier?
[10:31] ---
    Erk!
[10:32] ---
    Sorry, but ask someone else.
    How about one of your friends?
[10:40] ---
    Gee, I don't really have
    any friends! But still...
[10:45] ---
    Can you afford not to go?
[10:47] ---
    Huh?
[10:50] ---
    --There we go.
    --Huh?
[11:05] ---
    Isn't it your job to make Spirits
    fall for you, Shido Itsuka?
[11:21] ---
    It's been a month since Sister's escape...
[11:24] ---
    I can punish the facility crew
    if you'd like.
[11:28] ---
    There's no need. Our talented
    researchers are valuable. Besides...
[11:34] ---
    Besides... What, Ike?
[11:38] ---
    They couldn't have done a better job.
[11:43] ---
    What gives?!
    Give a better reaction than that!
[11:46] ---
    --I just transformed for you!
    --Huh?
[11:49] ---
    I was expecting a
    "Wh-What the heck?!" at least!
[11:53] ---
    Or even better, "This girl's
    transformation made my heart skip!"
[11:58] ---
    Look, look! My Spirit Armor
    is sexy, don'tcha think?
[12:03] ---
    H-Hey! Quit teasing me!
[12:07] ---
    Nia, I get that you're a Spirit,
    but how do you know about me?
[12:13] ---
    That I...
[12:15] ---
    That you date Spirits
    and make them fall for you?
[12:20] ---
    Because... Raziel!
[12:28] ---
    This is my Angel, Raziel.
    It can see everything in the world.
[12:34] ---
    In the world...?
[12:36] ---
    What's happening anywhere in the world...
    What anyone is doing...
[12:41] ---
    For example,
    how you just finished shopping
[12:46] ---
    and were on the way home.
[12:49] ---
    Huh? Then us meeting...?
[12:51] ---
    You really thought it was a coincidence?
[12:55] ---
    That some girl you found on the ground
    turned out to be a Spirit?
[12:59] ---
    A story that bad I don't want any part of.
[13:04] ---
    So you purposely collapsed
    knowing I'd help?
[13:08] ---
    Yup.
[13:09] ---
    And made me help with
    your manga for a reason?
[13:12] ---
    Just to meet the deadline.
[13:14] ---
    You're kidding!
[13:17] ---
    So, what are you after?
[13:20] ---
    I'm not really after anything.
    I just wanted to meet you.
[13:25] ---
    Until recently, I was DEM's captive.
[13:29] ---
    DEM? Westcott?!
[13:31] ---
    Yup. Hence "away" for five years.
[13:35] ---
    But I finally got a chance to escape,
    and now I can get back to work!
[13:40] ---
    Five years with DEM...
[13:43] ---
    But while I was captive...
    Ratatoskr, was it?
[13:47] ---
    A secret organization
    started looking for Spirits.
[13:51] ---
    Um... So with your Raziel,
    you know everything about me?
[13:57] ---
    Not everything. Even Raziel
    can't read the future or people's hearts.
[14:03] ---
    But it can do this...
[14:10] ---
    Huh?!
[14:12] ---
    My body's moving on its own!
[14:19] ---
    Eek!
[14:21] ---
    Hold up! What was that all about?!
[14:24] ---
    "Future Entry."
    Everything written in Raziel is true--
[14:29] ---
    Even if it's something added to it.
[14:33] ---
    Future Entry?
[14:34] ---
    Yup! The things written in
    Raziel become true.
[14:39] ---
    Having said that, it can be a pain
    to write everything out.
[14:44] ---
    I-I see. That does seem inconvenient.
[14:48] ---
    Boy, you're not seeing
    how terrifying Raziel can be.
[14:53] ---
    Say, Boy... You seem to know
    your way around a manga.
[14:58] ---
    You've tried to
    draw one before, haven't you?
[15:02] ---
    I wonder what kind of manga it was?
    Let's ask Mr. Raziel!
[15:06] ---
    Let's see...
[15:09] ---
    Ooh! The Black Knight, Lievan!
[15:12] ---
    Uh, this girl needs some work.
[15:15] ---
    "Flashing Thunder Wave!"
[15:16] ---
    What a cool attack!
[15:18] ---
    Flashing Thunder Wave!
[15:20] ---
    All your original characters from
    middle school! Talk about embarrassing!
[15:26] ---
    S-Stop!
[15:28] ---
    Well? See how terrifying Raziel can be?
[15:32] ---
    Yes, it's incredible!
    Sorry for doubting it.
[15:37] ---
    Seeing how you helped with the manga
    and your rice soup was tasty,
[15:41] ---
    I thought I'd give you a chance.
[15:44] ---
    A chance?
[15:45] ---
    To make me fall for you with a date.
[15:49] ---
    If you think you can win me over,
    win me over.
[15:53] ---
    I'm looking forward to next Saturday, Boy!
[16:04] ---
    Akiba! I'm home!
    Home...! Home...! Home...!
[16:10] ---
    How to put this...
    You're really decked out.
[16:14] ---
    "Tokiya"
[16:16] ---
    Shido, you copy?
[16:18] ---
    Yeah, I hear you.
[16:20] ---
    She doesn't seem hostile from
    what you've said, but be on your guard.
[16:25] ---
    Got it. Let's raise her happiness today
    before DEM finds her.
[16:31] ---
    Guys, sorry about the makeshift
    command room,
[16:35] ---
    but bear with it
    until Fraxinus is repaired.
[16:38] ---
    --Roger!
    --Roger!
[16:39] ---
    Now then, shall we begin our date?
[16:43] ---
    "1. Cute clothes. They look good on you."
    "2. What ugly clothes. I'll buy you something new."
    "3. Oh? Those clothes will be fun to take off later."
[16:44] ---
    Commander, we have choices!
[16:46] ---
    Make your choice!
[16:50] ---
    "1. Cute clothes. They look good on you."
    "2. What ugly clothes. I'll buy you something new."
    "3. Oh? Those clothes will be fun to take off later."
[16:52] ---
    Oh? That's surprising.
    The safest choice came in third.
[16:56] ---
    "1. Cute clothes. They look good on you."
[16:58] ---
    'Cuz, well... How to say it?
    Nia's clothes are kinda..."
[17:04] ---
    True. Complimenting that
    get-up sounds like sarcasm.
[17:08] ---
    Then, wouldn't two be best?
[17:11] ---
    A harsh comment followed
    by a glimpse of kindness!
[17:15] ---
    Picking out her clothes is the way to go!
[17:19] ---
    No, think about it.
    Nia didn't come today to buy clothes.
[17:26] ---
    Manga, light novels, figures, Blu-rays!
    That's her goal!
[17:29] ---
    Forcing her to shop for clothes
    would be nothing short of torture!
[17:34] ---
    Ooh! That's Nakatsugawa,
    "The Man With 100 Wives," for you!
[17:38] ---
    Your knowledge of love
    transcends dimensions!
[17:43] ---
    And according to Shido, she makes
    naughty comments all the time.
[17:48] ---
    Making a dirty joke might bring them closer.
[17:53] ---
    Shido, try three.
[17:55] ---
    What's up? Why so quiet, Boy?
[17:59] ---
    Uh, no... Um, well...
[18:02] ---
    O-Oh? Those clothes
    will be fun to take off later.
[18:09] ---
    Huh?
[18:10] ---
    Uh, I...
[18:15] ---
    You wanna take it all the way today?
    I didn't think you were such a player!
[18:21] ---
    Th-That's not what I--
[18:23] ---
    You've gotta go that far to seal Spirit power?
    Then lemme change my panties.
[18:29] ---
    --Eh?!
    --I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
[18:33] ---
    You're getting advice from Ratatoskr, right?
[18:40] ---
    Yay! Yay! Are you watching this, Kotori?!
[18:45] ---
    I sure am. Very closely.
[18:54] ---
    Thanks for carrying my stuff, Boy.
    What a gentleman!
[18:59] ---
    It's no big deal.
[19:01] ---
    Yoink.
[19:02] ---
    She's making all the moves, Shido!
[19:04] ---
    I dunno what to say.
[19:06] ---
    Ooh! Target spotted!
[19:08] ---
    Let's go!
[19:13] ---
    I haven't been here in so long,
    it all feels so new!
[19:17] ---
    Can't you keep up to date with Raziel?
[19:21] ---
    I try to refrain from using Raziel
    when it's not necessary--
[19:26] ---
    'cuz I hate spoilers.
[19:30] ---
    Did DEM make you use it
    while you were captured?
[19:35] ---
    Hmm? I don't really remember.
[19:38] ---
    Huh? The whole five years?
[19:40] ---
    They always kept tampering
    with my mind and stuff.
[19:44] ---
    But if they had such a hard time,
    I doubt they were able to use it.
[19:51] ---
    You never used Raziel
    to see what happened to you?
[19:55] ---
    Nah, I'd rather not.
    I know it won't be pretty anyway.
[20:01] ---
    "Chronicle
    Kitan Tokiya"
[20:03] ---
    Look at all the Tokiya goods!
[20:06] ---
    You like him that much?
[20:07] ---
    "Like" doesn't even begin to describe it!
    He's the reason I got into manga!
[20:14] ---
    Tokiya is my wife! A guy, but my wife!
[20:17] ---
    "A Boy's Club for Two"
    "Hands, Hearts, Together"
[20:18] ---
    Uh, you like this stuff, too?
[20:21] ---
    Hmph! Those without a
    Maiden Circuit wouldn't understand.
[20:24] ---
    Is that even a saying?
[20:26] ---
    Pros in this field can perceive
    anyone's nature in a single glance!
[20:33] ---
    Timid bottom.
[20:35] ---
    Hey! How did you classify me?!
[20:39] ---
    The mood looks good. We haven't had
    a date go this smooth in a while.
[20:45] ---
    Yeah. It's about time for the next step.
[20:51] ---
    Well, that was fun! I'm satisfied!
[20:55] ---
    Yeah, I had a good time, too.
[21:00] ---
    Let's swing by a café.
    This way's a shortcut.
[21:08] ---
    Nia!
[21:20] ---
    Now's your chance, Shido!
[21:23] ---
    N-Nia...
[21:28] ---
    I...
[21:32] ---
    Sorry.
[21:35] ---
    It's no use.
[21:36] ---
    Huh?
[21:38] ---
    I don't wanna be chased by DEM,
[21:42] ---
    so I really wouldn't mind if you sealed me...
[21:48] ---
    But the truth is, I can only love 2D.
[21:52] ---
    "Episode 01:
    'Don't Panic. It's a Spirit's Trap.'"
[21:53] ---
    Huh?
[23:25] ---
    The opening narration can do
    the episode preview. Now that's freedom.
[23:31] ---
    Shido's dates are again underway!
[23:33] ---
    Next time: "So Be It! 2D It Is!"
[23:35] ---
    "Episode 02:
    'So Be It! 2D It is!'"
[23:37] ---
    Date A Live's fourth act has begun!
[23:41] ---
    
[23:43] ---