3 - Karma Time

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] ---
    One! Two! Three! Four!\n
[00:10] ---
    Five! Six!\n
[00:12] ---
    --Seven! Eight!\n--The sounds of exercise \n
[00:14] ---
    echoing across the field on a\nsunny afternoon: how peaceful!\n
[00:19] ---
    If the students didn't have\nprey in their sights, that is.\n
[00:24] ---
    Wield your knives properly\nfrom all eight directions, now.\n
[00:31] ---
    From now on, I'm in charge of phys ed.\n
[00:34] ---
    That makes me a little lonely.\n
[00:37] ---
    Didn't I tell you to make yourself\nscarce during this period?\n
[00:40] ---
    Go play in the sandbox.\n
[00:43] ---
    You're so mean, Mr. Karasuma.\n
[00:46] ---
    Why, my students happen\nto like my gym classes!\n
[00:50] ---
    Liar. Koro Sensei's physical\nabilities are just too different.\n
[00:54] ---
    Remember that one time?\n
[00:56] ---
    Now let's try jumping side to side.\nI'll show you how it's done.\n
[01:04] ---
    As if!\n
[01:05] ---
    Once you're used to it,\ntoss some cat's cradle into the mix.\n
[01:08] ---
    Damn, he's good!\n
[01:10] ---
    He's just too far out.\n
[01:12] ---
    I'd like a human teacher for gym, thanks.\n
[01:16] ---
    Boo hoo hoo...\n
[01:18] ---
    Okay, let's get back to work.\n
[01:21] ---
    But Mr. Karasuma, is there\nany point to all this training?\n
[01:25] ---
    And should we be doing it\nright in front of our target?\n
[01:28] ---
    It's the same in assassination as in studying:\n
[01:31] ---
    Drill the basics and they'll serve you well.\n
[01:33] ---
    The same?\n
[01:34] ---
    Isogai, Maehara, step forward.\n
[01:39] ---
    Try hitting me with those knives.\n
[01:41] ---
    Are you sure?\n
[01:43] ---
    As a team?\n
[01:44] ---
    Those knives won't hurt us humans.\n
[01:48] ---
    If they give me so much as a scratch,\nyou can go home for the day.\n
[01:51] ---
    Uh... well, er... okay, then.\n
[01:58] ---
    Come on.\n
[02:03] ---
    As you see, with a little knowledge,\n
[02:06] ---
    even I can handle the knives of two amateurs.\n
[02:11] ---
    Wow...\n
[02:17] ---
    If you can't hit me, your chance of hitting him at Mach 20
[02:20] ---
    is slim to none.\n
[02:22] ---
    See? While we were sparring,\n
[02:26] ---
    he built Osaka Castle in\nthe sandbox, changed clothes,\n
[02:29] ---
    and is brewing up some tea!\n
[02:31] ---
    How infuriating!\n
[02:33] ---
    Once the whole class is capable of hitting me,\n
[02:37] ---
    your chance of success will\nincrease by leaps and bounds.\n
[02:42] ---
    During gym class, I'll be\nteaching you stabbing, shooting--\n
[02:46] ---
    all the assassination basics.\n
[02:49] ---
    Whoa.\n
[02:51] ---
    That's all for today.\n
[02:54] ---
    Thank you!\n
[02:59] ---
    Mr. Karasuma's kinda scary,\nbut he sure is cool!\n
[03:02] ---
    Right? Do you think he'll pat us on\nthe head if we manage to hit him?\n
[03:06] ---
    I wonder.\n
[03:08] ---
    You're trying to steal my popularity\nfrom my students, aren't you?!\n
[03:13] ---
    Don't be ridiculous.\n
[03:14] ---
    "If the school so desires, it may\nassign an additional teacher\n
[03:19] ---
    to the E Class."\n
[03:20] ---
    It says so right in your employment contract.\n
[03:26] ---
    My duty is to provide\nonsite assassin monitoring--\n
[03:30] ---
    all in the name of killing you.\n
[03:33] ---
    Please, use the name the students gave me:\n
[03:38] ---
    Call me "Koro Sensei."\n
[03:43] ---
    A quiz in sixth period, eh?\n
[03:45] ---
    Wish we could've gone home after gym.\n
[03:51] ---
    Hey, Nagisa.\n
[03:55] ---
    It's been a while.\n
[03:58] ---
    Karma... you're back!\n
[04:08] ---
    *The theory... of savage youth! *
[04:17] ---
    *I only speak when it's time to act *
[04:21] ---
    *I know that's pretty cool
[04:23] ---
    (Searching for our target: we're savage) *
[04:26] ---
    *Our feelings stray-- they get lost, but move forward *
[04:30] ---
    *Maybe we're only halfway helpless *
[04:36] ---
    *What's this wave of irritation? *
[04:40] ---
    *Proof of our existence? *
[04:43] ---
    *Look up at the moon and up you go *
[04:46] ---
    *C'mon now: C-c'mon k-kill c-c'mon --start! *
[04:51] ---
    *Haven't gone through with it-- that's why it's a drag *
[04:55] ---
    *Haven't gone through with it-- that's why it's a drag *
[04:58] ---
    *The breakthrough you whispered about is finally worth a shout *
[05:05] ---
    *Haven't gone through with it-- that's why it's a drag (you can do it if you try) *
[05:08] ---
    *Haven't gone through with it-- that's why it's a drag (I know you can)
[05:11] ---
    "Whatever" is easy to say *
[05:15] ---
    *But I want to struggle now, I want to burst with you *
[05:21] ---
    *But still: youth, to the future! *
[05:27] ---
    *C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! The theory of savage youth! *
[05:34] ---
    "Episode 3: Karma Time"\n
[05:40] ---
    Huh!\n
[05:42] ---
    So that's the infamous Koro Sensei?\n
[05:45] ---
    Whoa, he really does look like an octopus.
[05:48] ---
    Karma Akabane... is it? I'd heard\nyour suspension was up today.\n
[05:54] ---
    But you shouldn't be tardy\non your first day back.\n
[05:59] ---
    It's hard to get back\ninto the swing of things.\n
[06:01] ---
    Feel free to call me by my first name.\nNice to meet you, Teach!\n
[06:06] ---
    Likewise. Let's make this a fun year.\n
[06:17] ---
    Wow. You really are fast...
[06:20] ---
    and those knives really do work.
[06:24] ---
    I sliced one up really fine\nand stuck the pieces on.\n
[06:28] ---
    But to be caught by such a simple move,\n
[06:33] ---
    and to jump back all that way...\nwhat are you, a scaredy-cat?\n
[06:39] ---
    He's the first--the first one\n
[06:42] ---
    to hurt Koro Sensei!\n
[06:44] ---
    I heard they call you "Koro Sensei"\nbecause you're unkillable.\n
[06:49] ---
    But what's this?\nAre you a pushover after all?\n
[06:55] ---
    Nagisa, what kind of person is this Karma?
[06:59] ---
    Well...\n
[07:00] ---
    We were in the same class\nour first and second years,\n
[07:04] ---
    but then his continued violent\nbehavior earned him an expulsion,\n
[07:09] ---
    and those students end up\nhere in the E Class, too.\n
[07:13] ---
    But... here he might just be a star student.\n
[07:17] ---
    What do you mean?\n
[07:19] ---
    When it comes to deadly weapons\nand foul play, Karma's got us all beat.\n
[07:25] ---
    Don't run away, Koro Sensei...\n
[07:28] ---
    I'll show you what it means to be killed.\n
[07:44] ---
    What's Koro Sensei been doing all this time?\n
[07:47] ---
    Like, punching the wall?\n
[07:49] ---
    Yeah--Karma's smack-talking\nmust have made him mad.\n
[07:54] ---
    But his tentacles are too\nsoft to damage the walls.\n
[07:57] ---
    "Koro Sensei's Weak Point #4:\nHis punches are soft"\n
[07:59] ---
    Ugh--enough!\n
[08:00] ---
    Quit with the squish-squish!\nWe're trying to take a quiz here!\n
[08:03] ---
    P-Pardon me!\n
[08:06] ---
    Hey, Karma, you sure about this? That monster is pissed.
[08:11] ---
    This is all on you, man!\n
[08:13] ---
    Sure you're not better off holin' up at home?\n
[08:17] ---
    You'd be pissed, too, Terasaka,\nif someone'd started to kill you.\n
[08:21] ---
    Not like when a certain someone\nscrewed up and wet himself.\n
[08:25] ---
    I did not wet myself!\nYou cruisin' for a bruisin', pal?!\n
[08:28] ---
    You there! No loud noises during a test!\n
[08:31] ---
    --Tell that to your tentacles!\n--Why, that could even be considered cheating!\n
[08:34] ---
    Sorry, Koro Sensei. I've already finished,\n
[08:38] ---
    so I'll just sit here quietly and eat my gelato.\n
[08:40] ---
    Not during class, you won't!\n
[08:44] ---
    Th-That's the gelato I brought\nback from Italy yesterday!\n
[08:48] ---
    It's yours?
[08:50] ---
    Oh, sorry! It was just\nchilling in the staff room.\n
[08:54] ---
    "Sorry" won't cut it!\n
[08:56] ---
    I took pains to fly through the coldest\nstratosphere to keep that from melting, too!\n
[08:59] ---
    Huh... So, whaddya gonna do about it?\n
[09:03] ---
    Hit me?\n
[09:04] ---
    I will not! I'll just have what's left!\n
[09:08] ---
    Come now, hand it o--\n
[09:11] ---
    Anti-me BB's!\n
[09:16] ---
    Gotcha again!\n
[09:20] ---
    I'll just keep using the same old tricks.\n
[09:22] ---
    Even if it interferes with class.\n
[09:25] ---
    If you don't like it,\nkill me or anyone else here.\n
[09:30] ---
    But the second you do...\n
[09:32] ---
    no one'll see you as a teacher anymore.\n
[09:37] ---
    You'll just be a murderous monster.\n
[09:41] ---
    You, the teacher, will be killed by me.\n
[09:46] ---
    Here's my quiz.\nProbably got 'em all right.\n
[09:51] ---
    See ya, Teach.\nLet's play some more tomorrow.\n
[09:56] ---
    Karma is extremely quick-witted.\n
[10:01] ---
    Like here.\n
[10:03] ---
    He saw there was a line\nKoro Sensei couldn't cross\n
[10:05] ---
    without losing his "teacherness,"\n
[10:08] ---
    and the tactics he uses make him toe that line.\n
[10:14] ---
    He has the smarts to see\nthe heart of the matter,\n
[10:18] ---
    and the skill to manipulate just about anyone,\n
[10:21] ---
    but he uses them to clash with people.\n
[10:26] ---
    Honestly...\n
[10:28] ---
    Now he's forced me to go buy more gelato.\n
[10:32] ---
    He's smart and tough, but as he says,\nif I'm going to stay a teacher,\n
[10:38] ---
    I'm not allowed to kill or hurt him.\n
[10:43] ---
    So... how to deal with him, then?\n
[10:49] ---
    "Kunugigaoka Station"\n
[10:49] ---
    "Kunugigaoka Station"\nSee ya, Nagisa!\n
[10:51] ---
    Yep! See you tomorrow!\n
[10:55] ---
    Hey, look! It's Nagisa!\n
[10:57] ---
    Right at home down in the E Class.\n
[11:00] ---
    Barf. He'll never make it\nback to our class like that.\n
[11:05] ---
    Plus, Akabane's back in E Class\nnow that his suspension's over!\n
[11:11] ---
    That's the pits! I would seriously\nrather die than wind up there.\n
[11:16] ---
    Really? You'd rather die?\n
[11:20] ---
    Like... now?\n
[11:22] ---
    Akabane!\n
[11:26] ---
    Like I'd actually do it!\n
[11:28] ---
    With such great toys to play with,\nwho wants another suspension?\n
[11:33] ---
    Karma...\n
[11:35] ---
    So listen, Nagisa, there's\nsomething I wanted to ask you.\n
[11:40] ---
    I understand you know a few\nthings about Koro Sensei.\n
[11:43] ---
    Uh, well, kind of.\n
[11:46] ---
    Does he get mad if you call him an octopus?\n
[11:49] ---
    An octopus?\n
[11:50] ---
    "Octopus BZZT!"\n"An easy mistake to make. Be careful!"\n
[11:51] ---
    On the contrary, I think.\nHis self-portrait is an octopus,\n
[11:55] ---
    and he picks the octopus character in games.\n
[11:58] ---
    And when he was digging\naround in the sandbox...\n
[12:01] ---
    Octopus trap.\n
[12:02] ---
    So if he's making jokes like that,\nI'd say the octopus thing\n
[12:05] ---
    is kind of his trademark.\n
[12:09] ---
    Hmm. That gives me a little idea.\n
[12:14] ---
    What are you up to now, Karma?\n
[12:18] ---
    I'm happy, is all.\n
[12:21] ---
    I was wondering what I'd do\nif he were just some monster,\n
[12:25] ---
    but turns out he's an actual teacher.\n
[12:30] ---
    And I get to kill an actual teacher...\n
[12:35] ---
    I mean, since the last one up and died on me.\n
[12:50] ---
    I didn't see this coming. \nMy gelato money--gone!\n
[12:55] ---
    And no hope of getting more before payday!\n
[12:58] ---
    I'll just have to make my own.\n
[13:03] ---
    Good morning!\n
[13:10] ---
    What's wrong, cla--\n
[13:13] ---
    Whoops! My bad!\n
[13:15] ---
    I mistook it for you and killed it instead.\n
[13:18] ---
    Bring it here--I'll dispose of it.\n
[13:21] ---
    All right.\n
[13:24] ---
    Bring it on, Koro Sensei.\n
[13:27] ---
    I don't need to kill your body right now--\n
[13:31] ---
    I'll start slowly by killing your soul.\n
[13:39] ---
    Allow me to show you, Karma:\nthe might of these drill tentacles\n
[13:44] ---
    and the firepower of this missile\nI filched from the Self-Defense Force!\n
[13:50] ---
    I'm not about to let my\nassassin get away scot-free.\n
[13:55] ---
    I could tell by your pallor that\nyou hadn't eaten breakfast.\n
[13:59] ---
    I whipped these octopus\nballs up at Mach speed.\n
[14:01] ---
    They'll put you well on your way\nto being nice and healthy.\n
[14:04] ---
    Open wide!\n
[14:06] ---
    Karma...\n
[14:08] ---
    What I do is tend things, take care of them.\n
[14:11] ---
    Things like assassins' rusty blades.\n
[14:14] ---
    So keep killing me in earnest all day today.\n
[14:18] ---
    Every time you do, I'll take care of you.\n
[14:22] ---
    By the end of the day, your body and\nmind will be polished to sparkling.\n
[14:29] ---
    "First Period: Math"\n
[14:31] ---
    As you see, this number is left over,\nno matter what you do.\n
[14:35] ---
    If this indivisibility is getting you down,\n
[14:39] ---
    then have I got the method for you!\n
[14:43] ---
    I'll write it on the blackboard.\nEveryone try solving it together.\n
[14:46] ---
    Oh, Karma? You're too slow between\ndrawing and firing, I'm afraid.\n
[14:52] ---
    And since I had plenty of time,\n
[14:54] ---
    I gave you a little nail art.\n
[14:58] ---
    "Fourth Period: Home Ec"\n
[15:00] ---
    Well? How'd you two do, Fuwa?\n
[15:04] ---
    Mmm, I dunno... It has this\nkind of sharp tang to it.\n
[15:08] ---
    Let me try.\n
[15:10] ---
    Well, why don't you start over?\n
[15:12] ---
    Toss that batch out, and--\n
[15:14] ---
    You forgot your apron, Karma.\n
[15:18] ---
    Don't worry about the soup.\n
[15:20] ---
    I sucked it all up in midair with a dropper.\n
[15:23] ---
    Oh, and added sugar while I was at it.\n
[15:27] ---
    It's much milder!\n
[15:29] ---
    Adorable!\n
[15:32] ---
    It's no use.\n
[15:34] ---
    "Fifth Period: Japanese"\n
[15:35] ---
    "Fifth Period: Japanese"\nKoro Sensei has tons of weak points.\n
[15:38] ---
    He screws up from time to time,\n
[15:40] ---
    and his reaction speed drops to\nhuman levels when he's flustered.\n
[15:44] ---
    --But no matter how good Karma is at surprise attacks...\n
[15:44] ---
    --"Even as I was thinking this,\n--But no matter how good Karma is at surprise attacks...\n
[15:49] ---
    the red frog, having failed again,\nwas making its way back.\n
[15:54] ---
    I was starting to get bored with it.\n
[15:58] ---
    ...with Koro Sensei on especially high alert,\n
[16:01] ---
    this assassination was like an\nimpossibly tough video game.\n
[16:03] ---
    I was not trying to hit the red frog..."\n
[16:12] ---
    Karma...\n
[16:13] ---
    Don't sweat it. We'll all do it together.\n
[16:17] ---
    Once Koro Sensei has his eye on you,\nyou can't kill him by yourself,\n
[16:20] ---
    no matter the method.\n
[16:22] ---
    He's not like other teachers.\n
[16:26] ---
    Teachers, eh...?\n
[16:28] ---
    Akabane, you're right!\n
[16:31] ---
    Though you are combative, with your share of behavioral issues.
[16:35] ---
    As long as you're in the right,\nI'll be on your side!\n
[16:41] ---
    Yeah, no.\n
[16:43] ---
    I want to do it.
[16:45] ---
    Nothing'd tick me off more than\nhim dying in some random place.\n
[16:48] ---
    Karma?\n
[16:54] ---
    I've certainly taken good\ncare of you today, haven't I?\n
[16:57] ---
    You can still try to kill me, you know.\nI'll polish you up even shinier.\n
[17:05] ---
    Just to make sure...\n
[17:07] ---
    you are a teacher, correct?
[17:11] ---
    Yes.\n
[17:11] ---
    And you would, say,\n
[17:14] ---
    risk your life to protect your students?\n
[17:18] ---
    Of course--I'm a teacher, after all.\n
[17:21] ---
    Okay, good. Then I can kill you.\n
[17:28] ---
    For sure.\n
[17:32] ---
    So what's it going to be?\n
[17:34] ---
    If you come to help, you'll be shot\nto death before you can save me.\n
[17:38] ---
    If you just let me die,\nyour life as a teacher is over.\n
[17:44] ---
    Oh, man! Everything's flashing before my eyes!\n
[17:48] ---
    Are you okay?\n
[17:50] ---
    3-E--you mean that 3-E?
[17:53] ---
    What an awful pretext for picking a fight.\n
[17:57] ---
    Huh? I'm in the right here.\nWhat's wrong with saving a bullied student?\n
[18:03] ---
    No, Akabane. No matter how you\nlook at it, you're in the wrong.\n
[18:09] ---
    Is your head on straight?\n
[18:11] ---
    Where do you get off injuring\nthe best student in Year 3?\n
[18:15] ---
    No--sir, wait--\n
[18:18] ---
    You sided with the E Class and\nhurt someone with a bright future.\n
[18:22] ---
    If this affects his exams, it'll be on my head!\n
[18:28] ---
    He said he'd be on my side--and now this?\n
[18:34] ---
    "Uh-oh. I'm going to die."\n
[18:34] ---
    "Uh-oh. I'm going to die."\nUh-oh. I'm going to die.\n
[18:37] ---
    Your grades are the only\nthing you've got right--\n
[18:40] ---
    they're why I've always looked the other way.\n
[18:43] ---
    But once you start hurting\nmy career, it's a different story.\n
[18:48] ---
    "In here, that teacher dies."\n
[18:48] ---
    "In here, that teacher dies."\nIn here, he dies.\n
[18:52] ---
    I put in for your transfer.\nCongratulations, Akabane.\n
[18:57] ---
    You'll be starting your\nthird year in the E Class.\n
[19:03] ---
    He let me down.\n
[19:05] ---
    Now he's dead to me.\n
[19:11] ---
    Koro Sensei! I'll kill you\nwith my own two hands!\n
[19:15] ---
    Now, which death do you choose?\n
[19:22] ---
    Karma?\n
[19:24] ---
    Splendid job on the premeditated\nassassination starring yourself.\n
[19:28] ---
    If I saved you at the speed of sound,\nyour body wouldn't hold out.\n
[19:31] ---
    But if I moved slowly, I'd get hit.\n
[19:35] ---
    So I tried getting a little sticky.\n
[19:39] ---
    Damn! What can't these tentacles do?!
[19:42] ---
    You can't shoot now!\n
[19:46] ---
    Oh, and furthermore...\n
[19:48] ---
    letting you die is not an option.\n
[19:52] ---
    Believe in that for your next flying leap.\n
[20:02] ---
    It's no use. He won't die\nand he can't be killed.\n
[20:06] ---
    Not the teacher part of him, anyway.\n
[20:13] ---
    For being so reckless,\nKarma, you sure were calm.\n
[20:16] ---
    Eh, no biggie.\n
[20:17] ---
    As far as I can figure it,\n
[20:19] ---
    that would've been my\nbest chance at killing him.\n
[20:22] ---
    Oh? Out of ideas already?\n
[20:25] ---
    I have plenty of grooming\ntools to use in retaliation.\n
[20:28] ---
    You're kind of a pushover yourself, aren't you?!\n
[20:32] ---
    I'm feeling murderous, all right...\n
[20:34] ---
    but this time it's different somehow.\n
[20:38] ---
    Oh, I'll kill you--maybe even tomorrow.\n
[20:41] ---
    A healthy, refreshing bloodlust--\n
[20:44] ---
    looks like you don't need any more TLC.\n
[20:49] ---
    Let's head on back, Nagisa.\nWe can eat on the way.\n
[20:54] ---
    Hey! That's my purse!\n
[20:56] ---
    Then don't leave it in\nthe staff room unattended!\n
[21:00] ---
    Give it back!\n
[21:01] ---
    Take it!\n
[21:05] ---
    But... this is empty!\n
[21:08] ---
    There wasn't much in there. Call it a donation.\n
[21:15] ---
    You hypocritical delinquent!\n
[21:17] ---
    Assassins go in for the kill\nand wind up sparkling clean\n
[21:20] ---
    in their target's tentacles.\n
[21:22] ---
    That's our assassination classroom.\n
[21:25] ---
    I wonder how we'll try\nto kill him tomorrow?\n
[21:30] ---
    Do you hear me?!\n
[21:42] ---
    *The sun shines, leaving a red afterimage *
[21:49] ---
    *On the backs of closed eyelids *
[21:55] ---
    *With notebook and pen in my leather bag *
[22:01] ---
    *C'mon, let's go walking *
[22:06] ---
    *I draw and I draw *
[22:10] ---
    *But they don't get any neater *
[22:12] ---
    *There's nothing wrong with the paint I've chosen *
[22:18] ---
    *I still remember the shooting star *
[22:25] ---
    *I saw last night--I was waiting for... *
[22:33] ---
    *Hello, shooting star *
[22:35] ---
    *Hello, shooting star again *
[22:38] ---
    *She's been waiting *
[22:39] ---
    *That dreaming girl has been here *
[22:44] ---
    *All this time, ah ah *
[22:50] ---
    *Just like she was that day, ah ah *
[22:56] ---
    *Shine again *