2 - Baseball Time

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] ---
    The moon is all they're talking\nabout in America, too.\n
[00:20] ---
    I wish there were more\ninteresting front-page news.\n
[00:23] ---
    He makes a point of relaxing behind\nthe school every day before class,\n
[00:28] ---
    with a drink and an English\nnewspaper he got from Hawaii\n
[00:31] ---
    at Mach 20.\n
[00:33] ---
    Just as reported. Thanks, Nagisa.\n
[00:37] ---
    Yep. Good luck, Sugino.\n
[00:40] ---
    You got it. That ten billion yen is mine!\n
[00:44] ---
    We are killers.\n
[00:46] ---
    And our target is\n
[00:48] ---
    our teacher.\n
[00:51] ---
    Good morning!\n
[00:54] ---
    Remember, speak up\nwhen you greet someone!\n
[00:58] ---
    G-Good morning, Koro Sensei.\n
[01:02] ---
    Embedding those anti-me BB's\ninto a baseball? A fine idea!\n
[01:08] ---
    It won't make the kind of\nnoise an air gun would.\n
[01:11] ---
    However...\n
[01:12] ---
    I had all this time to kill\nwaiting for the ball to arrive,\n
[01:16] ---
    and my cells would fall apart\nif I touched those BB's directly.\n
[01:22] ---
    So that's why\n
[01:24] ---
    I popped over to the\nequipment room to grab a glove.\n
[01:29] ---
    I do hope you can kill me--\nbefore graduation, that is.\n
[01:33] ---
    Now then, time for homeroom.\n
[01:36] ---
    Yes, sir...\n
[01:40] ---
    Dammit. Guess my ball\nwon't do the trick after all.\n
[01:45] ---
    Sugino...\n
[01:55] ---
    *The theory... of savage youth! *
[02:05] ---
    *I only speak when it's time to act *
[02:08] ---
    *I know that's pretty cool
[02:10] ---
    (Searching for our target: we're savage) *
[02:13] ---
    *Our feelings stray-- they get lost, but move forward *
[02:17] ---
    *Maybe we're only halfway helpless *
[02:24] ---
    *What's this wave of irritation? *
[02:27] ---
    *Proof of our existence? *
[02:30] ---
    *Look up at the moon and up you go *
[02:34] ---
    *C'mon now: C-c'mon k-kill c-c'mon --start! *
[02:38] ---
    *Haven't gone through with it-- that's why it's a drag *
[02:42] ---
    *Haven't gone through with it-- that's why it's a drag *
[02:45] ---
    *The breakthrough you whispered about is finally worth a shout *
[02:52] ---
    *Haven't gone through with it-- that's why it's a drag (you can do it if you try) *
[02:55] ---
    *Haven't gone through with it-- that's why it's a drag (I know you can)
[02:58] ---
    "Whatever" is easy to say *
[03:02] ---
    *But I want to struggle now, I want to burst with you *
[03:08] ---
    *But still: youth, to the future! *
[03:14] ---
    *C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! The theory of savage youth! *
[03:21] ---
    "Episode 2: Baseball Time"\n
[03:30] ---
    Our teacher vaporized\n70 percent of the moon.\n
[03:35] ---
    Next March, he says he'll destroy Earth.\n
[03:40] ---
    For whatever reason, this creature\nwanted to be our teacher.\n
[03:46] ---
    The Ministry of Defense gave us a mission:\n
[03:49] ---
    kill him by next March.\n
[03:54] ---
    There's a reward of ten billion yen!\n
[03:57] ---
    Hey, Nagisa--\n
[03:59] ---
    Sugino's assassination attempt\nfailed this morning, huh?\n
[04:02] ---
    Uh-huh.\n
[04:03] ---
    He's been down in the dumps ever since.\n
[04:07] ---
    It's nothing to get bummed out about.\n
[04:09] ---
    I mean, none of us have succeeded yet.\n
[04:15] ---
    An unkillable teacher: "korosenai."
[04:17] ---
    Hence the nickname Koro Sensei.\n
[04:25] ---
    Sugaya!\n
[04:29] ---
    So close! But my features are a bit finer than that.\n
[04:31] ---
    "REALLY observe your subject!"\nSo close! But my features are a bit finer than that.\n
[04:33] ---
    "REALLY observe your subject!" "Tidy up your lines!"\nFiner how?!\n
[04:34] ---
    "Old Campus"\n
[04:36] ---
    "Old Campus"\nNow then, class,\n
[04:38] ---
    I have some business to take care\nof today, so if you'll excuse me...\n
[04:42] ---
    Business?\n
[04:43] ---
    Yes. I'm catching a game in New York.\n
[04:49] ---
    There he goes.\n
[04:51] ---
    What's his deal?\n
[04:53] ---
    It'd be nice if he brought back\nsome souvenirs for us, at least.\n
[04:58] ---
    Who wants souvenirs from\ntheir assassination target?\n
[05:01] ---
    Something to eat, maybe.\nThat way it wouldn't stick around.\n
[05:05] ---
    How oddly realistic of you.\n
[05:08] ---
    What could he bring back from New York?\n
[05:10] ---
    Booze?\n
[05:11] ---
    We can't drink!\n
[05:12] ---
    Snacks would be best after all.\n
[05:15] ---
    Or a blonde beauty... whoo!\n
[05:18] ---
    Right?\n
[05:19] ---
    \n--Blonde, blonde, blonde, blonde!\n
[05:23] ---
    --Oh, Mr. Karasuma!\n--Blonde, blonde, blonde, blonde!\n
[05:25] ---
    How's it going?\nAny clues on how to kill him?\n
[05:29] ---
    Clues?\n
[05:37] ---
    Well, I mean, we are the E Class.
[05:41] ---
    It's impossible, Mr. Karasuma.\n
[05:44] ---
    He's way too fast!\n
[05:46] ---
    You can't kill anything that flies at Mach 20.\n
[05:50] ---
    Indeed, no army is capable of that feat.\n
[05:54] ---
    Toldja!\n
[05:55] ---
    But only you have the opportunity.\n
[05:58] ---
    For whatever reason,\nhe insists on being your teacher.\n
[06:06] ---
    Left to his own devices,\ncome next March, he'll blow Earth up.\n
[06:12] ---
    One look at that carved-up\nmoon and you'll know:\n
[06:16] ---
    come March, the entire human\nrace will be beyond all help.\n
[06:20] ---
    He's too dangerous to be left alive.\n
[06:23] ---
    This classroom is the only\nplace he can be killed.\n
[06:28] ---
    We E Class misfits had been\ngiven the chance to be\n
[06:32] ---
    the heroes who save the planet.\n
[06:36] ---
    But I don't get it.\n
[06:38] ---
    "Old Campus"\n
[06:38] ---
    "Old Campus"\nWhy is Koro Sensei trying to destroy Earth?\n
[06:42] ---
    "Old Campus"\nWhy come teach our class now?\n
[06:51] ---
    So then, when I went over\nto her place the other day...\n
[07:06] ---
    All polished up, Sugino.\n
[07:09] ---
    Koro Sensei... Wait--\n
[07:12] ---
    what are you eating?\n
[07:14] ---
    A coconut I bought in Hawaii yesterday.\n
[07:17] ---
    Want a bite?\n
[07:19] ---
    You're supposed to drink out of it!\n
[07:21] ---
    Nice throw yesterday.\n
[07:24] ---
    Easy for you to say. Clearly I have\nno hope of hitting you at Mach 20\n
[07:29] ---
    with my throwing speed.\n
[07:31] ---
    So you're in the baseball club?\n
[07:37] ---
    I used to be.\n
[07:38] ---
    Used to?\n
[07:42] ---
    Clubs...\n
[07:44] ---
    The E Class isn't allowed to be in clubs,\nout at this satellite campus.\n
[07:48] ---
    Our bad grades got us here,\nso we're supposed to focus on studying.\n
[07:54] ---
    That's some major discrimination.\n
[07:57] ---
    It's all right. You saw yesterday, right?\n
[08:01] ---
    How slow I am?\n
[08:05] ---
    So slow that I couldn't pitch a\nsingle strike, and I got benched.\n
[08:10] ---
    Pretty soon I lost interest in studying,\ntoo, and wound up in the ol' End Class.\n
[08:16] ---
    Sugino?\n
[08:18] ---
    Let me give you a little advice.\n
[08:22] ---
    Gotta turn this in!\n
[08:26] ---
    Koro Sensei... talking to Sugino? About what?\n
[08:31] ---
    Is... Is he giving Sugino a talking-to\nabout yesterday's attempt?\n
[08:35] ---
    Wow, he's really up in arms!
[08:38] ---
    Koro Sensei! What are you doing?!\n
[08:40] ---
    What about your pledge\nnot to hurt your students?\n
[08:44] ---
    Sugino...\n
[08:46] ---
    That unique pitching form I saw yesterday?\n
[08:49] ---
    You're copying major-league\npitcher Arita, aren't you?\n
[08:54] ---
    But you know, the tentacles don't lie.\n
[08:59] ---
    Your shoulder muscles are\nout of whack compared to Arita's.\n
[09:05] ---
    What's that supposed to mean?\n
[09:07] ---
    You won't be able to pitch his super fastballs with that body,
[09:12] ---
    no matter how much you try to imitate him.\n
[09:17] ---
    How...\n
[09:20] ---
    How can you be so sure?\n
[09:25] ---
    Nagisa?\n
[09:29] ---
    Because we're misfits?\nBecause we're the E Class--the End Class?\n
[09:34] ---
    So why bother? Is that it?!\n
[09:40] ---
    Hmm, well... how do I know it's impossible?\n
[09:45] ---
    Yesterday I checked the man himself.\n
[09:48] ---
    Well, then, never mind!\n
[09:50] ---
    "Knock it off, Tentacles! --Arita"\nI got his autograph, too!\n
[09:51] ---
    You asked him for an autograph\nlike that?! No wonder he was furious.\n
[09:55] ---
    It was shock! Sheer shock!\n
[09:57] ---
    I get it... I just don't have his talent.\n
[10:04] ---
    On the other hand,\n
[10:05] ---
    your elbows and wrists are\nmore flexible than Arita's.\n
[10:10] ---
    Train well and you could far surpass him.\n
[10:13] ---
    These fondling-for-comparison's-sake\ntentacles are never wrong.\n
[10:18] ---
    There's more than one kind of talent.\n
[10:22] ---
    Find an assassination that suits your talent.
[10:27] ---
    My elbows and wrists... are better?\n
[10:33] ---
    My... my talent?\n
[10:46] ---
    Koro Sensei!\n
[10:49] ---
    You mean you went to New York\njust to give Sugino advice?\n
[10:53] ---
    Of course. I'm his teacher.\n
[10:56] ---
    Most teachers wouldn't go that far.\n
[10:59] ---
    But you will? The guy who's\ngoing to destroy the earth?\n
[11:08] ---
    Nagisa, I became your teacher\nto keep a promise I made.\n
[11:17] ---
    I will indeed destroy the earth,\nbut first, I'll be your teacher.\n
[11:23] ---
    "A fantastic diary entry! By Koro Sensei"\n
[11:24] ---
    Taking you kids seriously is more\nimportant than the end of the world.\n
[11:31] ---
    Koro Sensei...\n
[11:37] ---
    Please don't write weird\nproblems on the back.\n
[11:41] ---
    I know you want to show off\nyour grading speed, but...\n
[11:43] ---
    It's like a bonus!\nI thought you'd be happy.\n
[11:46] ---
    More like a penalty.\n
[11:48] ---
    So, er, I hope all of you will seriously enjoy both studying and assassinating.
[11:54] ---
    Even though you'll never\npull off the assassinating part.\n
[12:14] ---
    Wow, Sugino!\n
[12:16] ---
    That broke so fast,\nit practically disappeared!\n
[12:20] ---
    I'm working on a curveball that puts\nmy elbows and wrists to good use!\n
[12:24] ---
    Even my slow straight\nwill look fast next to this guy.\n
[12:28] ---
    I'm sure they'd both just put him to sleep, though.
[12:32] ---
    But I'll hang in there, Nagisa--\nwith baseball and assassination both!\n
[12:44] ---
    Our teacher has ultra-high speed\nand multifunction tentacles.\n
[12:49] ---
    Honestly, I don't think we can kill him.\n
[12:52] ---
    And yet...\n
[12:53] ---
    Koro Sensei!\n
[12:54] ---
    Can you come here?\nI'd like to kill you for a sec.\n
[12:58] ---
    Haven't learned your lesson, eh?\n
[13:00] ---
    And yet, Koro Sensei is\nmysteriously motivating,\n
[13:03] ---
    and it's kind of fun, being in\nhis assassination classroom.\n
[13:15] ---
    There he is!\n
[13:17] ---
    He said he'd be snacking on\nshaved North Pole ice today.\n
[13:20] ---
    That octopus, hittin' the North Pole\nlike it's the corner shop!\n
[13:23] ---
    Now! We split the ten billion!\n
[13:27] ---
    Koro Sensei!\n
[13:30] ---
    Can we have some shaved ice, too?\n
[13:34] ---
    They've opened their hearts to me--\nwith such smiling faces!\n
[13:39] ---
    And such lethal intent!\n
[13:44] ---
    Huh?\n
[13:46] ---
    But you know...\nyour smiles were a liiittle forced.\n
[13:50] ---
    That wasn't enough for\nme to let down my guard.\n
[13:52] ---
    Set aside these dangerous anti-me knives,\n
[13:56] ---
    stop and smell the flowers,\nand start by learning to put on a good smile.\n
[14:00] ---
    Hey, Koro Sensei! These are\nthe flowers we've been growing!\n
[14:06] ---
    Is that so?\n
[14:07] ---
    That's low, Koro Sensei!\n
[14:09] ---
    After we took such good care of them,\nand they'd finally bloomed...\n
[14:12] ---
    Apologies! I'll get you some new bulbs!\n
[14:15] ---
    Here you go!\n
[14:18] ---
    Don't go planting them at Mach speeds, now!\n
[14:19] ---
    Understood!\n
[14:20] ---
    Handle each one gently!\n
[14:22] ---
    Got it!\n
[14:23] ---
    Hey... isn't he going to\nbe destroying the planet?\n
[14:26] ---
    Y-Yeah... and here he is planting tulips.\n
[14:32] ---
    Tch. The monster's tryin'\nto be all goody two-shoes.\n
[14:37] ---
    What are you writing, Nagisa?\n
[14:40] ---
    I thought I'd jot down\nKoro Sensei's weak points.\n
[14:43] ---
    I might get a good\nassassination hint from 'em.\n
[14:46] ---
    Huh...\n
[14:47] ---
    "Koro Sensei's Weak Point #1:"\n
[14:48] ---
    "When he shows off, things get shaky""\nAnd that's supposed to be useful?\n
[14:53] ---
    Whaddya mean?\nThey could come in handy!\n
[14:58] ---
    "Height: About 3 meters standing tall.\n
[15:01] ---
    Special moves: supersonic speed cruising."\n
[15:05] ---
    The hell is this?\n
[15:06] ---
    So... not useful, then.\n
[15:08] ---
    Not right now.\n
[15:10] ---
    We are killers.\n
[15:12] ---
    "Old Campus"\n
[15:12] ---
    "Old Campus"\nClass 3-E at Kunugigaoka Junior High School\n
[15:15] ---
    is the assassination classroom,\n
[15:18] ---
    and the other students are elite members\nof a prestigious prep school.\n
[15:25] ---
    I believe the Ministry of Defense\nhas already informed you,\n
[15:29] ---
    but as of tomorrow, I'll be joining\nthe E Class as their P.E. teacher.\n
[15:34] ---
    I'll be keeping an eye on him, of course,
[15:36] ---
    but the students will be needing\ntechnical and mental support.\n
[15:41] ---
    Never fear: I have my teaching certificate.\n
[15:45] ---
    Go right ahead.\n
[15:46] ---
    Just remember: their education\nand safety come first.\n
[15:51] ---
    If you'll excuse us.\n
[15:58] ---
    What an understanding principal!\n
[16:02] ---
    The government is\ncompensating him handsomely.\n
[16:06] ---
    But it is remarkably convenient.
[16:08] ---
    A creature capable of destroying the earth\n
[16:10] ---
    that not even the military\ncan kill... and he's teaching?\n
[16:15] ---
    Thank God the only ones who know\nabout this are the government,\n
[16:20] ---
    that principal, and those Class E students.\n
[16:23] ---
    Yowch! If I do any worse, I might end up in E!\n
[16:27] ---
    Seriously? Once you wind up there,\nyou can kiss all hope goodbye!\n
[16:31] ---
    At the satellite campus\nwith no meals, filthy toilets--\n
[16:34] ---
    treated like dirt by\nstudents and teachers alike!\n
[16:37] ---
    You need crazy-good grades to\nhave any chance of making it back.\n
[16:40] ---
    It truly is the End Class! I'd sooner die than wind up there!
[16:44] ---
    I know, right? Better buckle down so\nwe don't turn out like those losers.\n
[16:49] ---
    "Tell Us, Kunudon!"\n
[16:49] ---
    "Tell Us, Kunudon!"\nSurprise!\n
[16:50] ---
    Tell us, Kunudon!\n
[16:53] ---
    Hi, everybody! I'm Kunudon,\nthe mascot of this institution!\n
[16:58] ---
    In this segment, I'll tell you all\nabout Kunugigaoka Academy!\n
[17:03] ---
    Yaaay!\n
[17:05] ---
    Kunugigaoka Academy has\na standard deviation of 66.\n
[17:08] ---
    It's a school where you can\nfind cheerful, fun motivation!\n
[17:11] ---
    Really? That's super!\n
[17:13] ---
    Everyone gets along really well,\nand everyone is equal!\n
[17:17] ---
    Everyone is equal! Yaaay!\n
[17:21] ---
    I see: by discriminating harshly\nagainst a handful of students,\n
[17:25] ---
    the majority will work harder under\npressure and a sense of superiority.\n
[17:31] ---
    Its structure is reasonable enough,\n
[17:33] ---
    and that satellite campus is\nperfect for our top-secret mission.\n
[17:37] ---
    But it's really got to suck\nfor those End-class pariahs.\n
[17:47] ---
    Hello, Mr. Karasuma!\n
[17:49] ---
    Hello. Starting tomorrow, I'll be\nhere to help out as your teacher.\n
[17:54] ---
    Oh, will you?\n
[17:55] ---
    I look forward to it.\n
[17:56] ---
    So now you're Professor Karasuma!
[18:00] ---
    By the way... where is he?\n
[18:02] ---
    Well, Koro Sensei ruined the class's\nflowerbed, so to make up for it,\n
[18:08] ---
    he's holding an assassination\ntournament, but with a handicap.\n
[18:11] ---
    A little something extra by way of apology!\n
[18:14] ---
    You'd have a hard time finding me\nmore immobilized than I am now!\n
[18:18] ---
    Any luck, Nagisa?\n
[18:22] ---
    He's totally not taking us seriously.\n
[18:24] ---
    You call this assassination?!\n
[18:27] ---
    But--hang on. Going by\nKoro Sensei's weak points...\n
[18:32] ---
    I'm afraid it's no use, students of Class E!\n
[18:35] ---
    Even with this handicap, I'm still far faster!\n
[18:37] ---
    Killing me is still a far-off dream--\n
[18:45] ---
    Now! Kill him!
[18:48] ---
    Rats!\n
[18:49] ---
    Aah! Too dangerous!\n
[18:50] ---
    "Koro Sensei's Weak Point #1:\nWhen he shows off, things get shaky"\n
[18:54] ---
    Those notes might come in handy.\n
[18:56] ---
    Yeah. I'm gonna keep at it.\n
[18:58] ---
    Hey... wait! M-My tentacles\nare tangled up in the ropes!\n
[19:02] ---
    "Koro Sensei's Weak Point #2: Freaks out easily"\n
[19:04] ---
    "Koro Sensei's Weak Point #2: Freaks out easily"\nWhy, you little...\n
[19:06] ---
    Damn! He got away!\n
[19:08] ---
    You'll never make it all the way up here--\nyou lack the base capability!\n
[19:12] ---
    Ha ha! Dummies!\n
[19:15] ---
    And we were so close!\n
[19:25] ---
    I'm doubling tonight's homework.\n
[19:27] ---
    So petty!\n
[19:28] ---
    "Koro Sensei's Weak Point #3:\nNo tolerance"\n
[19:32] ---
    He's gone!\n
[19:33] ---
    But this is the closest we've ever gotten!\n
[19:36] ---
    Keep this up and we'll definitely\nget our chance to kill him!\n
[19:39] ---
    Ooh, and then we get ten billion yen!\nWhat shall I spend it on?\n
[19:47] ---
    Junior-high kids talking\nhappily about assassination?\n
[19:52] ---
    This is one unusual space, all right.\n
[19:55] ---
    Think we can kill him, Nagisa?\n
[19:58] ---
    We will. Otherwise,\nwe'd never be able to face him.\n
[20:02] ---
    It's so strange...\n
[20:04] ---
    ...how the students with the\nliveliest expressions at this school...\n
[20:10] ---
    ...are here in E Class,\nwith their target teaching them.\n
[20:21] ---
    "Ministry of Defense"\n
[20:24] ---
    Those are the circumstances.\n
[20:27] ---
    Given the crisis the earth is in,\nyou must speak of them to no one.\n
[20:31] ---
    If this gets out, you will be made to\nundergo a memory-wiping operation.\n
[20:36] ---
    Eeeyikes!\n
[20:37] ---
    All members of the E Class have\nreceived the same explanation;\n
[20:40] ---
    they're already part of the mission.\n
[20:44] ---
    Once your suspension is over,\nyou will return to the E Class.\n
[20:47] ---
    Therefore, you too will be given\nthe assassination assignment.\n
[20:52] ---
    So, uh...\n
[20:55] ---
    Does this rubber knife really work?\n
[20:59] ---
    Yes. It's harmless to humans,\nbut we guarantee it will work on him.\n
[21:04] ---
    Huh!\n
[21:06] ---
    I guess it doesn't matter if he's not human.\n
[21:12] ---
    I've always wanted to try...\n
[21:20] ---
    ...killing me a teacher.\n
[21:42] ---
    *The sun shines, leaving a red afterimage *
[21:49] ---
    *On the backs of closed eyelids *
[21:55] ---
    *With notebook and pen in my leather bag *
[22:01] ---
    *C'mon, let's go walking *
[22:06] ---
    *I draw and I draw *
[22:09] ---
    *But they don't get any neater *
[22:12] ---
    *There's nothing wrong with the paint I've chosen *
[22:18] ---
    *I still remember the shooting star *
[22:24] ---
    *I saw last night--I was waiting for... *
[22:33] ---
    *Hello, shooting star *
[22:34] ---
    *Hello, shooting star again *
[22:37] ---
    *She's been waiting *
[22:39] ---
    *That dreaming girl has been here *
[22:43] ---
    *All this time, ah ah *
[22:50] ---
    *Just like she was that day, ah ah *
[22:55] ---
    *Shine again *