E3 - Start of a New Life! (That Doesn't Go Well, Of Course)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] K
    Bathroom...
[00:15] K
    Whoa.
[00:19] K
    Ow!
[00:20] Kanna
    Sorry, Kobayashi.
[00:21] K
    Oh, no, it's all right.
[00:26] K
    Beer, beer.
[00:28] T
    Oh, pardon me.
[00:30] Kanna
    Juice.
[00:31] T
    Kanna, it's cramped!
[00:32] K
    It's getting cramped here.
[00:33] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, move!
SIGN    A three bedroom apartment, right?
[02:10] K
    Yes. As close to this
    area as possible please.
[02:14] R
    How's this?
[02:15] K
    Hmm...
[02:17] R
    How's this?
[02:18] K
    Hmm...
[02:19] R
    How's this?
[02:21] K
    Hmm...
[02:22] K
    Frankly, there's not much
    difference between them.
[02:25] R
    By the way, the roof of this
    property is a communal space.
[02:29] K
    Oh?
[02:33] Both
    The sky's so vast!
[02:35] Kanna
    It feels nice!
[02:37] R
    How is it?
[02:41] K
    We'll take this one.
[02:46] K
    Well, time to start moving preparations.
[02:48] K
    First, we clean up.
[02:50] Both
    Yeah!
[02:51] T
    Cleaning, cleaning, la la la.
[02:55] T
    Beat the dust and crush it.
[02:58] K
    Weird song.
[02:58] T
    Leave no dust or trash behind.
[03:01] T
    Death to the world,
[03:04] T
    now clean, clean everything.
[03:06] K
    That sounds too dangerous!
[03:11] K
    Hey, Tohru, do you like being clean?
[03:13] T
    I suppose so. I like bathing
    and brushing my teeth.
[03:17] K
    Brushing your teeth? Do you have
    a dragon-sized toothbrush?
[03:21] T
    No, I use my claws to scrape out the bugs.
[03:24] K
    Bugs?! Not bacteria?!
[03:26] T
    Well, they're so small I never notice them.
[03:29] K
    Must be hard having a huge body.
[03:31] T
    Yes. I went through a lot of trouble
    searching for places to live.
[03:34] K
    Ah, figures. What kind
    of places did you choose?
[03:37] T
    Sometimes caves,
[03:39] T
    sometimes ruins,
[03:40] T
    sometimes mountains.
[03:42] T
    I've even slept up in the sky a few times.
[03:44] K
    Are you a migratory bird?!
[03:46] K
    Still, I guess you could
    live anywhere in that case.
[03:49] T
    Well, actually...
[03:51] T
    Whenever I stayed in one place too long
    humans would soon start coming around.
[03:55] T
    They were so annoying.
[03:56] K
    You were like a rare monster.
[03:58] T
    So not only did my body keep getting dirty,
    I had a hard time bathing at all.
[04:03] K
    Hmm.
[04:04] T
    When we had no other choice,
    we'd lick each other clean.
[04:07] K
    Huh?!
[04:08] T
    Kanna and I did that before.
[04:10] K
    That's naughty by human standards!
SIGN    They were actually in dragon form
[04:12] T
    Maybe so.
[04:14] T
    Well, most other dragons
    don't even care about it.
[04:17] T
    We don't get sick or unhealthy either way.
[04:19] K
    Wow, I'm kind of jealous.
[04:22] T
    To be honest,
[04:23] T
    Miss Kobayashi, you're sloppy.
[04:26] T
    You leave beer cans scattered about,
[04:28] T
    you leave your clothes lying
    where you took them off...
[04:31] K
    Wh-What does it matter?
[04:32] K
    That's one of the nice
    things about living alone.
[04:34] T
    Also, you keep books arranged out of order.
[04:37] K
    Now that's just being too picky!
[04:40] T
    Ahem.
[04:41] T
    Understood. I'll overlook the books.
[04:43] T
    But please clean up your trash and clothes.
[04:46] K
    This is my home.
[04:47] T
    You can't. Because Kanna
    will pick up those habits.
[04:50] K
    Fine.
[04:52] K
    My father must have felt this way*
    when my mother yelled at him.
[04:58] K
    Still, Tohru,
[05:00] K
    I keep doing that by accident because I'm
    happy you're here to clean it up for me.
[05:04] T
    Huh?!
[05:05] K
    It's a piece of a cake for
    a mighty dragon, after all.
[05:09] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[05:11] K
    So please keep helping out, okay, Tohru?
[05:17] T
    Yes! With pleasure!
[05:19] K
    Simple-gon.
[05:20] Kanna
    Scoundrel Kobayashi.
[05:24] K
    Well, next up's packing.
[05:26] K
    Though, nearly all of it is
    my personal belongings.
[05:29] K
    Sorry for making you help out.
[05:31] T
    No, please ask anything of me!
[05:34] Kanna
    I'll do my best, too.
[05:46] T
    Hey, Kanna. Pack properly...
[05:48] T
    Miss Kobayashi, so cute!
[05:51] T
    These dead-fish eyes are to die for!
[05:54] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, you're a pervert.
[05:55] K
    What are you slacking off over?
[06:01] K
    Oh, this was still here?
[06:06] T
    Miss Kobayashi.
[06:08] K
    Whoa, sorry!
[06:20] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[06:22] T
    Is this yours, Miss Kobayashi?
[06:25] K
    It is, but...
[06:26] T
    Please try it on!
[06:28] T
    I want to see you in a maid outfit!
[06:30] K
    I won't.
[06:31] T
    Huh? But you bought it
    intending to wear it, right?
[06:34] K
    I got my arms into it and then
    despaired at how bad I looked in it.
[06:38] K
    So I'm not wearing it again.
[06:43] T
    Then would you mind if I wear it?
[06:46] K
    Go ahead.
[06:46] T
    Thank you very much!
[06:49] T
    Sorry for the wait.
[06:56] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, so pretty!
[06:58] K
    Yeah, I think it looks good.
[07:02] T
    Thank you very much.
[07:06] T
    Still, your clothes are bit
    too tight in the chest for me.
[07:10] K
    That said...
[07:12] K
    Are you really a D?
[07:15] T
    I'm a D among dragons.
[07:19] K
    Ah, so good!
[07:22] T
    Good work, everyone.
[07:24] K
    Yeah, thanks, you two.
[07:26] K
    Bath, bath...
[07:29] K
    Hmm?
[07:32] K
    Does anyone know what happened to the towels
    and change of clothes in the bathroom?
[07:35] T
    I put them away properly!
[07:37] K
    Huh?
[07:38] T
    Huh?
[07:41] K
    Which box has the clothes and towels?
[07:46] Movers
    Good morning!
[07:48] Movers
    Sansan Moving Service!
[07:50] K
    Yes, welcome.
[07:54] Kanna
    So this is a car?
[08:06] Kanna
    Well, let's decide how to use the rooms.
[08:09] Kanna
    This will be the living room.
[08:11] Kanna
    This will be for the PC and books.
[08:13] Kanna
    This will be my bedroom.
[08:16] Kanna
    And this...
[08:19] Kanna
    will be the room you two share.
[08:21] B
    Huh?
[08:22] T
    Our room?
[08:24] K
    Yeah. You two can use it however you like.
[08:28] T
    Yay!
[08:46] K
    A new life, huh?
[08:50] T
    Shall I wash your back?
[08:52] K
    Huh? No, it's fine.
[08:54] T
    You like it when I make things clean, right?
[08:57] K
    Ugh, that's your angle?
[09:00] K
    All right, come on.
[09:02] T
    Yes.
[09:09] K
    By the way.
[09:10] T
    Yes?
[09:11] K
    Isn't it easier to wash
    your body in that form?
[09:16] T
    Well, it is, but it's a little limited.
[09:19] T
    Besides, there are a lot of
    rules in this world.
[09:24] T
    It's all a little stifling to me.
[09:27] K
    You don't like having a human form?
[09:32] T
    No!
[09:36] T
    This is its own thing.
[09:40] K
    I see.
[09:46] Kanna
    I'm coming in, too.
[09:48] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, wash me!
[09:50] T
    Oh well, fine.
[09:51] K
    Cramped, it's cramped.
[10:16] T
    Here I go!
[10:23] K
    Morning, Tohru.
[10:24] T
    Good morning, Miss Kobayashi.
[10:31] K
    Tohru.
[10:32] T
    Yes?
[10:33] K
    I'll wash your body as thanks for yesterday.
[10:35] T
    Huh?!
[10:36] K
    Over here, over here.
[10:37] T
    Y-Yes!
[10:45] T
    Ah, feels so good!
[10:48] K
    Feels like I'm washing a car.
[10:51] T
    Thank you so much, Miss Kobayashi!
[10:56] K
    You're welcome.
[11:14] K
    Ah!
[11:14] K
    This is my old apartment!
[11:17] K
    Damn it, I screwed up!
SIGN    Episode 3
SIGN    Start of a New Life! (That Doesn't Go Well, Of Course)
[11:42] K
    Tohru, you're too loud!
[11:44] T
    Huh?
[11:45] K
    Huh?
[11:49] T
    Do you see me as a loud person?
[11:52] K
    Sorry, sorry.
[11:53] Kanna
    Kobayashi, does your hangover hurt?
[11:56] K
    Yeah.
[11:57] K
    Still, I can't believe it's
    like this on my day off.
[12:01] T
    The noise is coming from the neighboring
    apartments and the floor above us.
[12:04] T
    Shall I go make a complaint?
[12:06] K
    Yeah, could you, please?
[12:10] K
    Make sure not to let your horns stick out.
[12:12] T
    Roger that!
[12:14] T
    If they won't listen after I speak to them,
    I'll murder, destroy, and pulverize them.
[12:17] K
    You don't have to do that.
SIGN    Sasakibe
[12:18] T
    I'll start with Ms. Sasakibe on our right.
[12:22] S
    Coming.
[12:24] S
    Hello.
[12:25] S
    Oh, you're from next door.
[12:27] T
    I'm Tohru. Hello.
[12:29] S
    Hello. Did you need something?
[12:32] T
    Well, we heard loud noises and they've
    been bothering us, so I came over.
[12:36] S
    My, was it that loud?
[12:38] T
    What were you doing?
[12:40] S
    Cooking.
[12:41] T
    Huh?
[12:41] S
    Hold on a moment.
[12:48] S
    Here, let me share some.
[12:50] S
    They're stewed rapeseed blossoms.
[12:52] T
    Thank you very much.
[12:54] T
    My apologies, but could you please
    be more mindful of the noise?
[12:57] S
    Sure.
[13:01] T
    How does she make that
    much noise making this?
SIGN    Yana
[13:04] T
    Next is Mr. Yana on the left.
[13:06] Y
    I'm playing music.
[13:08] T
    Music?
[13:09] Y
    Yeah, want to listen?
SIGN    Rar
[13:16] T
    Your voice sounds like Hades
    is crushing Hercules.
[13:20] Y
    What a phrase! I'm taking it!
[13:23] T
    Anyways, please try to keep the volume down.
[13:26] Y
    Sure.
SIGN    Soune
[13:28] T
    Last is Mr. Soune on the floor above.
[13:30] S
    I'm using a drill for work.
[13:32] T
    A drill?
[13:34] S
    I'm making hand-carved wooden ornaments.
[13:36] T
    Oh, is it a gorilla?
[13:38] T
    This is well done.
[13:40] T
    Anyway, one of us is
    suffering from a hangover,
[13:44] T
    so please try to keep the noise down.
[13:45] S
    All right.
[13:48] Sasakibe
    You're the loud one!
[13:50] Yana
    You're the loud one!
[13:51] Soune
    No, you two are being loud!
[13:52] Sasakibe
    The loud one is the one calling people loud!
[13:54] T
    What's gotten into everyone?
[13:57] Sasakibe
    That drilling is too loud!
[13:59] Soune
    That death metal voice is too loud!
[14:00] Yana
    That strange noise is too loud!
[14:02] Sasakibe
    That's cooking!
[14:03] Both
    Huh?!
[14:04] T
    Your voices are being too loud.
[14:07] Three
    Sorry.
[14:09] T
    Humans keep making the same mistakes.
[14:12] T
    They're beyond help.
[14:15] T
    Guess I'll kill them.
[14:16] K
    Um, may I have a word here?
[14:20] K
    What bothers us the most is having others
    be loud when we'd like some quiet.
[14:26] K
    So why don't we organize the times we
    don't want each other making noise,
[14:30] K
    and make a schedule?
[14:34] K
    If there are still times that don't
    work out, then we can use earplugs.
[14:38] T
    Are you all right with that, Miss Kobayashi?
[14:40] T
    They're all creatures that haven't learned
    anything since they evolved from apes.
[14:44] K
    That goes for me, too, you know.
[14:46] K
    Well, anyway, I usually wouldn't
    mind if I weren't hung over.
[14:50] K
    Besides, it's only natural
    to cause some bother
[14:53] K
    to others when people go about their lives.
[14:55] K
    Especially so if they're neighbors.
[14:57] T
    Jeez, you're too kindhearted.
[15:00] K
    Besides,
[15:04] K
    I wouldn't like it if it
    were too quiet either.
[15:12] K
    I'm going to rest a bit.
[15:14] T
    Okay.
[15:34] T
    Am I loud?
[15:38] K
    There are times when I think so.
[15:41] T
    Does it bother you?
[15:45] K
    It's difficult to give a precise
    answer to that question.
[15:51] K
    But...
[15:53] K
    I think a life like this is acceptable, too.
[16:05] K
    I'm sleeping now.
[16:06] T
    Okay. Then I will, too.
[16:16] T
    You're too loud!
SIGN    Everyone, thank you for your hard work. Soon the cherry blossoms will be upon us again this year. So with regards to that, we'd like to follow up on last year and host a flower viewing party for company staff. Please organize a list of those who wish to attend within each team and deliver it to General Manager Furukawa. Please try to attend if possible. The time and location are in the attached file. That is all, thank you. General Manager Furukawa
[16:49] K
    What should I do about this?
[16:51] K
    I don't like the consideration that
    has to be shown when rank's dropped,
[16:54] K
    and not being able to order certain liquor.
[16:56] Takiya
    Straight to the point, huh?
[16:59] Takiya
    Well, then why not create
    an excuse to refuse?
[17:01] K
    An excuse?
[17:04] T
    A party?
[17:05] K
    Yeah. I was talking to Takiya-kun
    about gathering here at this apartment
[17:09] K
    as an excuse to turn down my
    company's flower viewing.
[17:11] T
    Huh? You're inviting him here?
[17:13] K
    Come on, don't make that
    face now. He's a nice guy.
[17:17] T
    Hmm, all right. I'll put up with that then.
[17:21] K
    Put up with it?
[17:22] T
    In return, can I call
    some of my friends, too?
[17:25] L
    Friends? Like from the shopping district?
[17:28] T
    No, dragons.
[17:29] K
    Huh?
[17:29] T
    Don't worry.
[17:31] T
    They're all well-behaved dragons.
[17:33] K
    Hmm, I'm only worried.
[17:35] K
    I'm home.
[17:37] Both
    Welcome home!
[17:38] Takiya
    Pardon me.
[17:40] T
    Welcome, come on in.
[17:42] Takiya
    I'm not welcome at all, am I?
[17:44] Takiya
    You must be Kanna-chan. Good evening.
[17:47] Kanna
    Good evening.
[17:48] Takiya
    Nice goth-loli.
[17:51] K
    Where are your friends?
[17:53] T
    They should be here soon.
[17:56] T
    Yes?
[17:59] T
    Please wait one moment.
[18:02] T
    Mr. Fafnir, please arrange yourself
    like in the picture I sent over!
[18:06] Fafnir
    Good grief.
[18:13] Fafnir
    This world is full of trouble.
SIGN    Fafnir
[18:17] F
    Makes me want to end it.
SIGN    Hostility
[18:20] T
    Miss Kobayashi, this is Mr. Fafnir.
[18:22] K
    Hello.
[18:23] K
    Nice to meet you.
SIGN    It's a pleasure to meet you. It's an honor to make your acquaintance. I'm honored. Your friend has been very kind to me.
[18:24] K
    I'm Kobayashi from Jigokumeguri
    System Engineering.
[18:25] Taki
    That's a polite social greeting.
[18:28] Kanna
    Polite social greeting?
[18:28] K
    I've been living with Tohru-san.
[18:29] Taki
    A magic set of words that allows
    even shy people to greet others.
[18:31] K
    I hope we can get along well in the future.
[18:34] K
    Tohru!
[18:35] K
    I got a really hostile
    feeling from him just now!
[18:37] T
    Well, he may have a slight
    dislike for humans.
[18:41] T
    He's a cursed dragon who's been guarding his
    treasure in a cave since ancient times.
[18:45] K
    He's a shut-in?!
[18:48] K
    You invited more?
[18:49] T
    This is the last.
SIGN    Unacceptable
[18:52] Lucoa
    Oh, Tohru!
[18:54] T
    Hello, it's been a long time.
[18:56] T
    Miss Kobayashi, this is Miss Quetzalcoatl.
SIGN    Quetzalcoatl
[18:59] L
    Nice to meet you. Lucoa is fine.
[19:02] K
    Why are all dragons so huge?
[19:05] T
    Huh?
[19:06] K
    Never mind.
[19:07] K
    Nice to meet you. I'm Kobayashi.
[19:11] L
    Something wrong?
[19:12] K
    Um, did you walk here in that outfit?
[19:16] L
    I did.
[19:17] K
    Your outfit is kind of slutty, though.
[19:19] L
    Wha?!
[19:37] Taki
    Care to try?
[19:41] Taki
    Once you cut into them, back away.
[19:43] Taki
    Yeah, like that.
[19:44] Taki
    Oh, you can't run in while
    he's doing that move.
[19:48] Taki
    Try again.
[19:49] Taki
    Uh-huh.
[19:50] Taki
    Good job defeating him.
[19:51] Taki
    Now, ignore that treasure chest...
[19:56] Taki
    That was a mimic.
[19:58] Taki
    Ah, you died.
[20:01] K
    He's hooked.
[20:06] L
    Tohru hardly ever used to smile.
[20:10] L
    Must be thanks to you.
[20:12] K
    I'm just a normal human being.
[20:14] L
    That girl's never had
    anything normal before.
[20:18] L
    Not just her, but her friends as well.
[20:22] K
    Lucoa-san,
[20:24] K
    I'm grateful to Tohru, too.
[20:28] K
    I didn't use to smile much myself either.
[20:31] K
    Though I'll never say it to her.
[20:35] T
    Food's ready!
[20:36] K
    Yes.
[20:38] K
    Well, let's eat then.
[20:39] K
    Can you drink?
[20:41] L
    Drink?
[20:42] L
    I can, but at least let me check
    it for curses first.
[20:46] K
    Curses?
[20:46] T
    Long ago Ms. Lucoa was driven out of
    her seat as a goddess thanks to liquor.
[20:51] T
    She was forced to drink liquor
    her comrade had cursed,
[20:53] T
    and in her drunken stupor she
    went to her little sister and—
[20:57] L
    Don't say it!
[20:59] K
    Dragons don't have very
    good pasts, do they?
[21:02] K
    Like I said!
[21:04] K
    When it comes to butlers,
    I fancy middle-aged ones!
[21:06] K
    This is out of the question!
[21:07] Fafnir
    Stop it! You'll make me screw up!
[21:09] Taki
    No, no, lately young, handsome,
[21:12] Taki
    but devilish butlers have been pretty
    good in their own way!
[21:13] Fafnir
    I said stop it!
[21:14] K
    Not having that wisdom of life aura
    means they're out! Got it!
[21:15] L
    She's a completely different
    person when drunk, isn't she?
[21:17] T
    Yes.
[21:19] K
    Hey, you woman there! Become a maid!
[21:21] L
    Huh?
[21:23] K
    Tohru, you, too!
[21:24] T
    I already am one, though?
[21:26] K
    I've told you before, that's just cosplay!
[21:29] K
    If you've got complaints, then strip!
[21:31] K
    Besides, what's with all of
    you and your absurd chests?!
[21:31] T
    Huh?!
[21:32] Taki
    Fafnir-dono! We must avert our eyes!
[21:34] K
    Why don't you share some with me?!
[21:35] F
    Stop it! I can't see!
[21:36] T
    But that's impossible.
[21:38] T
    Wha?!
[21:38] K
    If you can't, then strip!
[21:49] K
    Hmm, yeah, some people
    move their bodies to it.
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:25] Taki
    Fafnir-dono, ignore that treasure chest.
[23:29] Taki
    That's a mimic.
[23:31] Taki
    Ah, that chest is also—
[23:33] Taki
    That was a mimic, too.
[23:34] Taki
    Why do you reflexively
    go after all the chests?
SIGN    Episode 4
SIGN    Kanna Goes to School! (Not That She Needs To)
[23:37] F
    It's my nature.