E7 - Kaguya Wants to Undress Him
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
"UNDERWEAR!!"
[00:01] ---
Underwear!
[00:02] ---
The fabric that conceals private parts
is an unexplored region for the opposite sex.
[00:07] ---
It's a sanctuary one rarely gets to see.
[00:11] ---
Some people have an underwear fetish.
[00:14] ---
Just the sight of this material
is gratifying for them.
[00:25] ---
Hey, Ishigami!
[00:26] ---
Please save that kind of thing
for when you get back home!
[00:29] ---
What were you about to do, Ishigami?
[00:35] ---
You've got the wrong idea!
[00:37] ---
The P.E. teacher made me put stuff away
after class, so I didn't have time to change.
[00:42] ---
That makes sense.
[00:43] ---
I'm sorry for suspecting you
of doing something inappropriate.
[00:46] ---
You should be.
[00:47] ---
But...
[00:49] ---
I see.
[00:51] ---
"SMIRK SMIRK"
[00:51] ---
So, you're a briefs man, Ishigami.
[00:54] ---
Pervert.
[00:57] ---
That comeback lacked bite!
[01:00] ---
Weak tea!
[01:01] ---
Where'd you put your usual
verbal switchblade, huh?
[01:04] ---
What's wrong with wearing briefs?
[01:07] ---
I like how they keep me nice and snug!
[01:09] ---
It's not like I'm mocking you,
[01:09] ---
"SMIRK SMIRK"
[01:11] ---
but if you want to be snug as a bug,
boxer briefs would do you fine.
[01:14] ---
Here we go! Another boxer supremacist!
[01:17] ---
You girls think boxer briefs are sexy
because they showcase a guy's rear end!
[01:21] ---
But any dude who'd wear flimsy underpants
to impress girls is a flimsy human being!
[01:26] ---
"PERSONAL OPINION"
[01:29] ---
Are you listening?
[01:30] ---
All guys who wear boxer briefs are man whores!
[01:35] ---
These underpants make them man whores!
[01:37] ---
What's a "man whore"?
[01:39] ---
Okay, Siri. Search "meaning of man whore."
[01:47] ---
People who wear boxer briefs are...
[03:20] ---
"KAGUYA WANTS TO UNDRESS HIM"
[03:26] ---
President is pretty popular with girls.
It wouldn't be surprising
[03:30] ---
if he had that kind of physical relationship
with some of them, unbeknownst to me.
[03:35] ---
I don't believe he's immoral like that...
[03:39] ---
...but I'd like to confirm it!
[03:45] ---
I have to get a glance
at President's underpants!
[03:49] ---
If I spill tea on his slacks...
[03:55] ---
I'm sorry!
[03:56] ---
Take your slacks off.
I'll dry them for you.
[04:00] ---
Yay! I saw his underpants!
[04:03] ---
I'm just a pervert!
[04:05] ---
No, it's not like I have some prurient desire
to see his underwear!
[04:10] ---
Maybe I should just ask him outright.
[04:13] ---
It seems like I'm perverted
because I was trying to come up with a strategy.
[04:16] ---
But apparently, people even exchange
presents of underwear these days.
[04:20] ---
If I ask him nonchalantly,
he'll probably answer without blinking an eye.
[04:24] ---
"BREWING TEA"
[04:25] ---
Nonchalantly.
[04:27] ---
Naturally.
[04:31] ---
Have some tea.
[04:32] ---
Thank you.
[04:34] ---
What kind of tea do you like, President?
[04:38] ---
Darjeeling or uva.
[04:40] ---
I see. So you like refreshing things?
[04:43] ---
Incidentally, what kind of underwear
do you prefer?
[04:46] ---
Oh, what kind of underwear?
[04:50] ---
Well, let me think.
[04:52] ---
Underwear that's too simple bores me.
[04:55] ---
Something that's kind of colorful
is more my style.
[05:00] ---
Underwear?
[05:01] ---
What is this about?
[05:05] ---
I've heard of this.
[05:06] ---
When a couple is especially close,
the male requests particular panties!
[05:10] ---
"REQUESTING PANTIES"
[05:10] ---
Shirogane misinterpreted.
[05:13] ---
What'll happen if I answer her?
Would she wear them?
[05:16] ---
Shinomiya, would you wear
the lacy black panties I like?
[05:19] ---
And then what? Would she tell me?
[05:23] ---
I'm wearing your favorite pair today,
President.
[05:27] ---
No.
[05:29] ---
I've got to think this through.
[05:31] ---
The crux of the matter isn't
whether I like black panties or not.
[05:35] ---
It's making a request for panties
that doesn't sound creepy!
[05:39] ---
If I just blurt out here
that I like black panties...
[05:42] ---
How dirty.
[05:44] ---
It's normal!
Comparatively average and wholesome!
[05:47] ---
In that case, I should choose something that's
comfortable for women, with a lot of fabric!
[05:52] ---
"NOT A CREEPY ANSWER!!"
[05:52] ---
"WARM AND LOOSE"
[05:52] ---
Panties like this!
[05:55] ---
They're not sexy at all,
[05:56] ---
but having Shinomiya wear any panties
that I choose is hot!
[06:02] ---
Good question.
[06:03] ---
I don't know what they're called, but...
[06:05] ---
...they have a lot of material, are thin,
and tight-fitting like pants.
[06:11] ---
They have a lot of material, are thin,
and tight-fitting like pants.
[06:15] ---
Tight-fitting...
[06:20] ---
"THEY'RE BOXER (PLAYBOY) BRIEFS!"
[06:20] ---
They're boxer briefs!
[06:24] ---
Hello.
[06:26] ---
P-President is a man whore!
[06:31] ---
Even though I had faith in him!
How could he do this?
[06:33] ---
No, Shinomiya!
[06:35] ---
That was just a joke!
[06:37] ---
The truth is I like black panties!
[06:44] ---
J-Just when I thought
he might be a decent person...
[06:48] ---
Animal.
[06:50] ---
I-It's not what you're thinking, lino!
[06:55] ---
I-I'm not wearing black panties!
[06:58] ---
"STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM"
[06:59] ---
So don't attack me!
[07:02] ---
I would never attack you!
[07:05] ---
Today's battle result...
[07:07] ---
"SHIROGANE (A BOXER MAN) LOSES"
[07:08] ---
Shirogane loses.
SIGN "He quit wearing briefs that very same day"
SIGN "That'll be 2,592 yen, please"
[07:15] ---
President, I'm sorry
for my weird accusation the other day.
[07:17] ---
"KAGUYA WANTS
TO MAKE HIM LET GO"
[07:19] ---
There's no need to apologize again.
[07:22] ---
I knew it had to be based
on some misunderstanding.
[07:25] ---
Don't let me off the hook that easily.
[07:28] ---
You always seem so tired.
[07:32] ---
So let me make it up to you.
[07:34] ---
"FLASH"
[07:35] ---
Please allow me to give you a hand massage.
[07:38] ---
A massage?
[07:40] ---
A hand massage!
[07:42] ---
The World Health Organization
defines it as a therapeutic method
[07:44] ---
in which therapists stimulate
acupuncture and reflex points.
[07:47] ---
It has an effect on every part
of the human body.
[07:51] ---
However...
[07:52] ---
Kaguya doesn't have his health in mind.
[07:55] ---
A way to stop men from cheating?
[07:59] ---
Whatever President does and whom
he does it with, it wouldn't be cheating.
[08:04] ---
But men instinctively want to have sex
with multiple women.
[08:07] ---
Se...
[08:08] ---
"Scientifically speaking
about hormones"
[08:08] ---
Still, there are hormones
that can suppress such desires.
[08:12] ---
That's what I'm talking about!
[08:13] ---
How do I get him to secrete that?
[08:15] ---
Quite a bit is produced after having sex.
[08:17] ---
Se...
[08:18] ---
If the only way to keep him from having se...
is by making him have se... What's the point?
[08:23] ---
You should have "se" with him, Lady Kaguya.
[08:26] ---
I most certainly will not!
And don't imitate me!
[08:28] ---
Anyway, I hate dirty stuff!
[08:31] ---
Then, why don't you give him a massage?
[08:34] ---
Physical contact encourages the secretion
of prevent-men-from-cheating hormones,
[08:37] ---
and a virtuous cycle is produced with more
love hormones synthesized. In other words...
[08:42] ---
...positive feedback!
[08:44] ---
"THE FORMATION OF LOVE"
[08:46] ---
It's a clever plan that serves as an apology
for her abusive language,
[08:48] ---
keeps Shirogane from cheating,
and even acquires his love.
[08:54] ---
Is she plotting something?
[08:57] ---
But...
[08:58] ---
...if I get to touch Shinomiya's hands...
[09:01] ---
All right.
[09:09] ---
"SQUEEZE"
[09:10] ---
Her hands are so soft and small.
[09:17] ---
This is...
[09:18] ---
...really...
[09:20] ---
...pain...
[09:22] ---
painful!
[09:24] ---
Are you trying to punch holes?
[09:27] ---
"STAB"
[09:29] ---
Huge amounts of stress hormones,
such as beta-endorphins and cortisol,
[09:33] ---
are being secreted in Shirogane's brain!
[09:35] ---
His body is emitting danger signals!
On the other hand...
[09:40] ---
President has such big hands.
[09:43] ---
And they're warm. I kind of feel...
[09:45] ---
Large amounts of oxytocin and vasopressin
are being secreted in Kaguya's brain.
[09:49] ---
An endless stream of love
gushes forth from her mind.
[09:53] ---
What is this feeling?
[09:55] ---
It feels so good,
I wish this moment lasted forever.
[10:00] ---
Get it over with already!
[10:02] ---
I like this.
[10:06] ---
Maybe most kids have given
their parents a shoulder massage,
[10:10] ---
but I've never had the chance
to do anything like that, so...
[10:13] ---
Shinomiya...
[10:15] ---
I see.
[10:16] ---
She's never done anything as common as that.
[10:21] ---
From now on, I'll help her learn various--
[10:25] ---
She's killing me!
[10:29] ---
It must've been some misunderstanding
the other day.
[10:32] ---
I can't believe those two are...
[10:37] ---
"STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM"
[10:41] ---
I'll do your back next.
[10:42] ---
No, no!
[10:42] ---
Hello...
[10:44] ---
I'll make you feel even better.
[10:46] ---
Go on, take off your belt.
[10:48] ---
W-Wait, Shinomiya!
[10:50] ---
Don't be like that. Let me do it.
[10:51] ---
No, if I feel any better
than this, I'll die!
[10:57] ---
Iino...
[10:58] ---
In the sacred student council room...
[11:02] ---
No... Animals!
[11:04] ---
Would you like to join us, lino?
[11:07] ---
I'm a novice, so...
[11:10] ---
I would only get in your way!
[11:15] ---
Today's battle result...
[11:17] ---
"SHIROGANE WINS
(HIS SHOULDERS ARE MUCH LOOSER NOW)"
[11:17] ---
Shirogane wins.
SIGN "SPIN SPIN" "It was painful, but she definitely has talent"
[11:22] ---
My shoulders feel light...
[11:28] ---
What's wrong, Kei?
[11:29] ---
Did something happen at school?
[11:31] ---
No!
[11:32] ---
I can't stop crying over this manga!
[11:34] ---
"I'LL GO WITH SWEET TODAY"
[11:36] ---
"MIYUKI SHIROGANE
WANTS TO MAKE HER READ"
[11:36] ---
Oh, just manga.
[11:39] ---
Instead of looking down on me,
you should read it for yourself!
[11:41] ---
Bet you anything you'll cry, too!
[11:42] ---
Yeah, right.
[11:44] ---
I'm a second-year high school student.
As if I'd cry over manga...
[11:51] ---
There, you see? It's a real tearjerker!
[11:53] ---
Dummy! I can't turn off the waterworks!
[11:55] ---
It makes you want to fall in love, right?
[11:57] ---
I totally want to fall in love!
[12:05] ---
That made me want to be in love so much
[12:08] ---
that I might slip up and confess
my feelings to Shinomiya tomorrow!
[12:10] ---
That's it!
[12:12] ---
Throb! I want to fall in love, too!
[12:15] ---
Go out with me, President!
Let's have a shojo manga-like romance!
[12:20] ---
It'll work!
[12:26] ---
You read this kind of stuff, too, President?
[12:28] ---
Yeah.
[12:30] ---
I read it on my little sister's
recommendation,
[12:32] ---
and it was so moving that it made me cry.
[12:36] ---
Well, I read my share of manga,
[12:39] ---
so I can usually predict the plot twists.
[12:41] ---
It's so boring when I realize
they're setting up a weepy scene.
[12:45] ---
Here we go. The tearful development.
[12:47] ---
Cheap trick.
[12:49] ---
This leaves me cold.
They're practically begging you to cry.
[12:56] ---
Obvious...
[12:59] ---
"DRIP DRIP"
[12:59] ---
Even though it's so obvious,
[13:01] ---
they got me!
[13:03] ---
There, you see? It's a tearjerker!
[13:05] ---
I can't stop crying!
[13:06] ---
It makes you want to fall in love, right?
[13:08] ---
I wanna fall hopelessly in love!
[13:11] ---
But where can I find someone?
[13:14] ---
I smelled love talk coming from here!
[13:16] ---
"GLANCE GLANCE"
[13:17] ---
Who is it? Who is it?
Who's in the throes of love?
[13:19] ---
No one is.
[13:21] ---
We were just talking about this manga.
[13:22] ---
"Go Sweet"!
[13:25] ---
Just looking at the cover
gets me teary-eyed!
[13:27] ---
Isn't it great?
[13:29] ---
I'm so into it that I bought a digital copy
of the whole series!
[13:32] ---
Maybe I'll get the whole series, too.
[13:35] ---
Is it that interesting?
[13:37] ---
It's one of the best series I've ever read!
[13:40] ---
Well, if we're just going
by the tearjerker element,
[13:43] ---
I have to admit
it's one of the best I've read in years.
[13:47] ---
Ishigami, do I know you?
[13:49] ---
You could call me "a manga columnist."
[13:52] ---
She took the bait! Just as planned!
[13:55] ---
The recommendation solicitation plan!
[13:57] ---
It's embarrassing for a boy
to admit he reads shojo manga.
[14:01] ---
But if everyone recommends it,
[14:03] ---
eventually word of mouth
will reach the target, Kaguya.
[14:06] ---
With this roundabout strategy,
he can maintain his position
[14:08] ---
of "Yeah, it's not bad"
and "I figured you guys would like this,"
[14:11] ---
while getting Kaguya to read this manga
[14:13] ---
that tugs on the heartstrings.
[14:15] ---
You should read it, too, Kaguya!
[14:20] ---
No, thanks anyway.
[14:22] ---
I'm not into manga.
[14:26] ---
Shinomiya, consider it as studying.
[14:28] ---
I don't think reading one manga series
in your life would be a bad idea.
[14:30] ---
Exactly!
[14:33] ---
What's the story about?
[14:38] ---
The main character is a girl
who doesn't trust anyone.
[14:39] ---
"I can't trust anyone anymore"
[14:41] ---
Then, a boy with a nasty mouth
transfers to her school.
[14:43] ---
"Hey, let me carry that bag for you"
[14:45] ---
But it turns out the boy has a terminal
illness, and he dies near the end!
[14:49] ---
Don't blab!
[14:51] ---
You never blurt out spoilers like that!
[14:54] ---
Silence this spoiler girl!
[14:55] ---
I'm sorry! It just slipped out!
[14:56] ---
Roger!
[14:58] ---
Pipe down!
[14:59] ---
Not another word!
[15:02] ---
"STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM"
[15:07] ---
It doesn't sound
the least bit interesting to me.
[15:09] ---
Well, with this kind of thing,
it's how the story builds up.
[15:13] ---
An anorexic girl who doesn't trust anyone...
[15:17] ---
...makes friends for the first time
and experiences human warmth.
[15:22] ---
That's right!
Near the beginning!
[15:23] ---
Ever since her parents
tried to poison her,
[15:26] ---
all she eats is canned food.
[15:28] ---
Yeah, that's right.
In the middle.
[15:30] ---
Those flashback scenes with her surviving on
crackers and diet supplements are heartbreaking!
[15:35] ---
But the curry her boyfriend makes for her
right before he dies...
[15:38] ---
Timidly, she takes a bite.
[15:41] ---
And then, she says...
[15:45] ---
"It's sweet!"
[15:45] ---
"It's sweet!"
[15:48] ---
That last chapter had me bawling!
[15:51] ---
Wasn't it great?
[15:52] ---
It's not fair that the curry didn't appear
until the very end!
[15:55] ---
I know, right?
[15:56] ---
"GROWL GROWL"
[15:57] ---
"GROWL GROWL" "BANG"
[16:03] ---
I have no idea what they're saying.
[16:06] ---
Fujiwara!
[16:11] ---
I came to rescue you.
[16:12] ---
Today's battle result...
[16:14] ---
Shirogane, Ishigami, and Fujiwara lose.
[16:17] ---
This is what happens at the end?
[16:18] ---
And Miko loses, too.
SIGN "SNIFF SNIFF"
SIGN "Aaah! I want to fall in love like this, too!"
[17:56] ---
This is Shuchiin Academy,
a prestigious educational institution.
[18:00] ---
My name is Kaguya Shinomiya,
and I'm an ordinary girl.
[18:04] ---
I'm the vice president
of the student council, but...
[18:09] ---
Ow...
[18:10] ---
Shinomiya...
[18:14] ---
Are you hurt?
[18:18] ---
I had a feeling you were about to show up,
[18:21] ---
and sure enough...
[18:23] ---
What does that mean?
[18:25] ---
Pudding.
[18:26] ---
A snack from the principal himself.
[18:28] ---
Shall we enjoy it together?
[18:31] ---
You have a weakness for pudding, don't you?
[18:36] ---
My heart is beating so fast
that I can't even look them in the eye!
[18:37] ---
"CONFESSION"
[18:40] ---
"KAGUYA-SAMA: LOVE IS WAR SYNDROME"
[18:43] ---
The handsome and brilliant student council
president had a crush on Kaguya,
[18:47] ---
so he forced her
to join the student council.
SIGN "MIYUKI SHIROGANE STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT"
SIGN "Adored by the student body. Always cool and collected, but enigmatic."
[18:51] ---
Both of the quirky and good-looking members
are interested in Kaguya,
[18:55] ---
but she's becoming
more and more fond of President!
SIGN "YU ISHIGAMI STUDENT COUNCIL TREASURER"
SIGN "A computer geek with a supposedly dark past..."
[19:04] ---
Kaguya uses all kinds
of mischievous romantic techniques
[19:08] ---
to get the boy she loves to ask her out!
[19:18] ---
What should I do?
[19:20] ---
President looks more handsome
than ever today!
[19:23] ---
In fact, so does Ishigami!
[19:27] ---
This doesn't make sense!
[19:29] ---
Shojo manga brain.
[19:31] ---
A strange mood pervades the student council.
And the cause is this shojo manga.
[19:34] ---
"I'LL GO WITH SWEET TODAY"
[19:37] ---
As a result,
[19:38] ---
the longing to fall in love has clumped
together in the student council room.
[19:41] ---
It's an outbreak
of shojo manga brain syndrome.
[19:44] ---
Even the narrator has gone goofy!
[19:46] ---
I have to do something
to get things back to normal here!
[19:49] ---
I've got it!
[19:51] ---
Oh, there's an envelope in the box.
[19:56] ---
A pair of tickets to an aquarium?
[19:58] ---
Are they from the principal?
[20:01] ---
I love aquariums!
[20:03] ---
There are a lot of animals,
and it's so romantic!
[20:06] ---
But...
[20:08] ---
There are only two tickets.
[20:13] ---
I slipped them in there!
[20:15] ---
I'm sure President wants to go with me.
[20:17] ---
Certainly, two boys wouldn't go
to the aquarium together.
[20:21] ---
Ishigami is scared of me,
[20:24] ---
Two tickets...
[20:25] ---
so there's no way he'd want to go together.
[20:27] ---
Then, shall we go together, Shinomiya?
[20:31] ---
After you helped me study,
I owe you a debt of gratitude.
[20:36] ---
I know quite a bit about fish,
so I could use this opportunity to teach you.
[20:40] ---
My teaching techniques...
[20:42] ---
...are awesome.
[20:45] ---
Thump!
[20:47] ---
The first time he's looked me in the eyes,
and it has to be now? It's not fair!
[20:51] ---
Not so fast, Ishigami.
[20:53] ---
Maybe fish are your specialty. However...
[20:58] ---
...no one knows more about penguins than me.
[20:59] ---
Thump!
[21:00] ---
You like penguins?
[21:02] ---
Yeah.
[21:03] ---
I go so often that I remember
their keepers' names.
[21:09] ---
I'll tell you the romance
of these birds that cannot fly.
[21:13] ---
From A to Z.
[21:15] ---
Thump!
[21:16] ---
Shinomiya...
[21:19] ---
Shinomiya...
[21:21] ---
Whom do you choose, me or Ishigami?
[21:27] ---
Jeez...
[21:33] ---
I'm drowning...
[21:35] ---
...in their feelings.
[21:37] ---
Move it!
[21:39] ---
I'm as strong as Yokozuna, right?
[21:41] ---
I went to see sumo wrestling yesterday.
[21:43] ---
You should've seen the upward strike!
[21:45] ---
And when one guy was dancing
around the ring, his opponent went whap!
[21:46] ---
"WHAP"
[21:48] ---
Sorry, I don't know anything
about sumo.
[21:50] ---
You should, it's great!
[21:52] ---
Pudding!
[21:54] ---
Can I have one? Can I?
[21:56] ---
Go ahead.
[21:56] ---
President hid the tickets.
[21:58] ---
Because he doesn't want
Miss Fujiwara to know about it?
[22:01] ---
He hasn't given up on going
to the aquarium with me yet.
[22:06] ---
Jeez!
[22:07] ---
If he does that,
I'm going to get my hopes up!
[22:13] ---
Shinomiya...
[22:16] ---
Your face is red.
[22:19] ---
Do you feel under the weather?
[22:21] ---
His face is too close!
[22:23] ---
If you don't feel well,
maybe you should go to the infirmary.
[22:25] ---
Jeez! Why are you so nice to me today?
[22:29] ---
Do you have a fever?
[22:32] ---
I'll take her to the infirmary.
[22:35] ---
Don't bother.
[22:36] ---
Please stay here
and eat your pudding, President.
[22:39] ---
No, I'll go.
[22:40] ---
No, I will.
[22:42] ---
I will.
[22:43] ---
I will.
[22:45] ---
Stop it already!
[22:46] ---
Your passion is even affecting me.
[22:50] ---
I'm melting like the pudding.
[22:54] ---
Urp!
[22:56] ---
I'm done with the pudding,
so I'll take you to the infirmary.
[22:59] ---
No, I'm perfectly fine.
[23:01] ---
Really?
[23:03] ---
I don't have a fever.
[23:05] ---
Let's go, Shinomiya.
[23:07] ---
The school nurse doesn't charge.
[23:09] ---
President!
[23:15] ---
Shinomiya...
[23:17] ---
Wanna go to the aquarium?
[23:20] ---
No. I don't have to go.
[23:25] ---
After all...
[23:31] ---
...for me, this place is an aquarium.
[23:40] ---
She turned me down?
[23:42] ---
I don't really understand
her reason for saying no!
[23:47] ---
Today's battle result...
[23:49] ---
"REASON FOR LOSING:
THIS IS AN AQUARIUM."
[23:49] ---
Shirogane loses.
[23:52] ---
"KAGUYA <3 AQUARIUM"
[23:53] ---
I thought two men coming here
together would just be sad,
[23:56] ---
but it's actually pretty fun, huh?
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