E3 - Shirogane Miyuki Still Hasn't Done It - Kaguya Wants Him to Guess Right - Kaguya Wants to Walk
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
You fall in love with someone...
[00:01] ---
FATE
[00:02] ---
confess that love...
[00:03] ---
DESTINY
[00:03] ---
and become a couple.
[00:05] ---
Everyone would say that's a wonderful thing.
[00:09] ---
But they're wrong!
[00:14] ---
Love is war!
[00:18] ---
CONFESSION
[00:19] ---
CONFESSION
[00:20] ---
The person who falls in love loses!
[00:23] ---
KAGUYA-SAMA: LOVE IS WAR
[01:58] ---
STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM
[01:59] ---
Oh.
[02:01] ---
TEENS LOVE BIBLE
[02:02] ---
What's this?
[02:03] ---
Oh, the headmaster confiscated it
from a student.
[02:04] ---
MIYUKI SHIROGANE
STILL HASN'T DONE IT
[02:07] ---
He said, "It's not proper reading material,
so dispose of it."
[02:10] ---
Jeez. Why didn't he just do it himself?
[02:13] ---
Not proper reading material?
[02:18] ---
CRUDE
[02:19] ---
Crude!
[02:20] ---
I mean lewd!
SIGN LEWD
[02:21] ---
This country is becoming lewd!
[02:24] ---
What's got her skirt in a bunch?
[02:27] ---
Maybe nudity with pubic hair?
[02:28] ---
Shirogane showed great interest.
[02:31] ---
- Kaguya, I wouldn't if I were you!
- Let's see.
[02:33] ---
A survey. "When was your 'first time?'"
[02:36] ---
"By high school. 34%."
[02:39] ---
No way! There's no way
that many are doing it!
[02:43] ---
34%!
[02:44] ---
In other words, more than a third!
[02:47] ---
One out of three people
means there's a high likelihood
SIGN DID IT
SIGN DID IT
SIGN DID IT
[02:50] ---
that one of these three
have already had such an experience!
[02:54] ---
I-It's only that high
because the respondents
[02:57] ---
are the people who read
this kind of magazine, right?
[03:00] ---
Oh, you mean "sample selection bias."
[03:03] ---
Yes, there can't actually be
that many people.
[03:05] ---
Right?
[03:08] ---
Really?
[03:09] ---
This percentage seems about right to me.
[03:13] ---
In fact, it's probably low.
[03:15] ---
Um, I don't even think I need to ask,
[03:18] ---
but have you had
that kind of experience, Kaguya?
[03:22] ---
Yes, the first was a long time ago.
[03:25] ---
TOWN PAGES
[03:26] ---
Huh. The area code for Aomori is 017.
That's surprising.
[03:32] ---
Isn't that normal
for most high school students?
[03:35] ---
You two must not have been raised
in a loving environment.
[03:40] ---
M-Maybe I should hurry up
and get a boyfriend.
[03:40] ---
The area code for Oshamanbe
in Hokkaido is 01377... and 013...
[03:45] ---
But I'm sure Father would never allow it.
[03:47] ---
Kaguya realizes there's a nervous
component to their reactions.
[03:51] ---
When humans realize
they've gotten a late start
[03:53] ---
compared to those around them,
they get nervous.
[03:56] ---
Then that anxiety makes them
succumb to the emotional need
[03:59] ---
of finding a romantic partner. In short...
[04:02] ---
I'm too late to the party?
[04:05] ---
I’M FALLING BEHIND?
[04:06] ---
I HAVE TO GET A GIRLFRIEND!
[04:07] ---
SHINOMIYA, GO OUT WITH ME!
[04:13] ---
Shinomiya, go out with me!
[04:15] ---
Confess your love!
[04:16] ---
Kaguya's objective of the day was decided.
[04:18] ---
The whole thing is ridiculous!
[04:21] ---
Oh, President,
I heard you were very popular.
[04:25] ---
She instigates.
[04:26] ---
Don't you have a girlfriend?
[04:28] ---
She instigates some more!
[04:29] ---
No, I don't.
[04:32] ---
I don't have that kind of relationship
with a particular person. Not right now.
[04:37] ---
"Not right now"!
[04:38] ---
An expression that hints
at the existence of a girlfriend long ago,
[04:41] ---
but even if he's never gone out
with anyone, it isn't a lie!
[04:45] ---
It's an expression loved by people
the world over, from the young to the elderly!
[04:49] ---
That's right! Miyuki Shirogane
has never had a romantic experience!
[04:53] ---
And yet it can't be said
that he isn't popular.
[04:56] ---
In fact, he is quite popular.
[04:59] ---
Perhaps it should be said
birds of a feather flock together.
[05:02] ---
Or perhaps we should consider that
in many cases, oddballs are drawn to oddballs.
[05:07] ---
When the trend is only dangerous
characters being attracted to you,
[05:09] ---
WHAT IS THIS HAIR?
[05:11] ---
you won't reach a romantic relationship.
[05:11] ---
WHAT IS THIS SMOKE?
[05:16] ---
Why am I so popular?
[05:20] ---
And so, despite having no experience,
[05:23] ---
Shirogane was supremely confident
in his own popularity.
[05:27] ---
The women must be attracted
to my overflowing intelligence.
[05:31] ---
Should I feel guilty?
[05:34] ---
Yes, this man possesses
both boundless confidence and pure chastity,
[05:34] ---
Not right now.
[05:37] ---
a combination that has made him...
[05:41] ---
Not right now.
[05:41] ---
...a twisted monster virgin!
[05:45] ---
Oh. Then of course you've done it, right?
[05:46] ---
But even that monster has a weakness.
[05:50] ---
MONSTER VIRGIN
[05:50] ---
He is still a virgin.
[05:55] ---
It would be easy to lie.
[05:57] ---
But telling an experienced person
that I have experience
[06:00] ---
would be like a movie neophyte claiming
knowledge about movies to a film buff,
[06:03] ---
thinking they can trick the person!
[06:05] ---
Supposing I did lie to her...
[06:07] ---
I have tons of experience!
[06:08] ---
You're bragging about it?
[06:10] ---
Are you that embarrassed
about having your virginity exposed?
[06:15] ---
How cute.
[06:17] ---
She'd see through me!
[06:19] ---
I-If you're that curious,
you can always ask me directly.
[06:22] ---
The best he can do is bluff.
[06:24] ---
Really?
[06:28] ---
I know you have a little sister, President,
[06:31] ---
so you probably
do it with her all the time.
[06:34] ---
Oh, that...
[06:36] ---
Of course not! Are you a moron?
[06:39] ---
Well, you're family.
[06:40] ---
I did it to my newborn nephew.
[06:44] ---
It was videotaped.
[06:46] ---
You're a loon!
[06:47] ---
Good times.
[06:50] ---
It's not good to be excessively afraid
of physical contact with other people.
[06:55] ---
I guess that's the dark side
of modern society.
[06:58] ---
No, it's you!
[06:59] ---
You're the dark side of the nobility!
[07:01] ---
What's so strange?
[07:03] ---
You must do it a lot to your dog Pesu,
don't you, Chika?
[07:06] ---
- You do?
- No! Please don't drag me into this!
[07:10] ---
The Shinomiya family upbringing
is this perverse?
[07:14] ---
She's so ignorant of the ways of the world
that she thinks it's common sense?
[07:22] ---
Shinomiya...
[07:24] ---
Let me ask you this.
[07:26] ---
Do you know what it means
by "first time"?
[07:29] ---
Please don't make light of me.
[07:32] ---
As a lady, I know that much.
[07:35] ---
It's referring to kissing.
[07:42] ---
Honestly.
[07:44] ---
Kaguya Shinomiya.
[07:46] ---
As the daughter
of the owner of a conglomerate,
[07:48] ---
she's been protected
from sexual information for 16 years now.
[07:52] ---
The beginning and end
of her sexual education was kissing.
[07:56] ---
ALL ABOUT SEX
PISTIL STAMEN
WHEN YOU GET MARRIED,
LEAVE IT TO THE MAN.
THE END
[07:56] ---
Anything more than that
she picked up from urban legends.
[08:00] ---
So the stork
has nothing to do with it, right?
[08:03] ---
She's a "daughter in a box"
taken to the extreme!
[08:08] ---
Naturally, she has no idea
what "your first time" refers to.
[08:11] ---
Shinomiya...
[08:12] ---
President, I'll take this one.
[08:17] ---
Kaguya...
[08:21] ---
In this case, "first time" means...
[08:26] ---
And then...
[08:27] ---
puts...
[08:29] ---
in...
[08:30] ---
After that...
[08:32] ---
the two...
[08:34] ---
moving...
[08:36] ---
like beasts!
[08:38] ---
MINUTES
[08:39] ---
LATER
[08:46] ---
A-After all...
[08:49] ---
the law is you do that kind of thing
after you get married!
[08:53] ---
I thought my heart was gonna stop!
SIGN RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH:
[08:58] ---
SHINOMIYA LOSES
[08:59] ---
Today's match...
[08:59] ---
FOR INCREDIBLE IGNORANCE
ABOUT SEXUAL KNOWLEDGE
[09:01] ---
Shinomiya loses.
[09:08] ---
President, I disapprove
of illicit intercourse.
[09:13] ---
So would you go do it to yourself?
[09:31] ---
KAGUYA WANTS
TO BE FIGURED OUT
[09:32] ---
It's a quiet night, isn't it?
[09:34] ---
Yes.
[09:36] ---
It's Fujiwara's turn to walk Pesu today,
so she had to go home early.
[09:40] ---
Pesu! Pesu!
[09:42] ---
And Ishigami was in and out of here
before I even noticed.
[09:48] ---
He gets the perfect attendance award
in his own way.
[09:56] ---
You've mellowed out
since we first started here, Shinomiya.
[10:01] ---
You mean I've gained weight?
[10:03] ---
No, "mellow," not "marshmallow."
Your personality.
[10:05] ---
Like making small talk.
[10:08] ---
Yes.
[10:10] ---
I've been making an effort
to become slightly more likeable.
[10:15] ---
That's what it is?
[10:16] ---
Well, it also helps that I have a better
understanding of you as a person.
[10:22] ---
You understand me?
[10:27] ---
Really?
[10:28] ---
We've been working together here
at student council for half a year now.
[10:32] ---
I think I have
a pretty good understanding of you.
[10:35] ---
Then I'll test you.
[10:37] ---
Test?
[10:39] ---
Yes, let's test how much
you really know about me.
[10:45] ---
Do you know the game "20 Questions"?
[10:49] ---
20 Questions!
SIGN EXAMPLE
[10:51] ---
It's a game in which one player
gets 20 questions
[10:53] ---
Is it smaller than my palm?
[10:53] ---
to guess what the other player
is thinking of.
[10:55] ---
Is it edible?
[10:56] ---
But the player can only ask questions
that can be answered with a yes or no.
[10:57] ---
I'm thinking of an eraser.
[11:00] ---
If the guesser gets it correctly
within 20 questions, they win.
[11:03] ---
If they can't, the other person wins.
[11:07] ---
But if you get 20 questions,
you can pretty much guess it.
[11:12] ---
If you really know me, though...
[11:15] ---
you should be able to guess it
with half that, ten questions.
[11:18] ---
I see.
[11:20] ---
That's fine.
[11:24] ---
Are you ready?
[11:26] ---
Yes.
[11:31] ---
20 CHAMBER BELGIAN REVOLVER
"HENRION, DASSY, AND HEUSCHEN"
(BUT ONLY 10 BULLETS LOADED)
[11:32] ---
Then my first question...
[11:35] ---
One, is it something that can be touched?
[11:38] ---
Yes.
[11:39] ---
It isn't a word or concept.
[11:41] ---
- Two, is it an electrical appliance?
- No.
[11:44] ---
- Three, is it something that's warm or cold?
- Yes.
[11:51] ---
Considering her answers,
it could be a living thing,
[11:53] ---
WARM-BLOODED
ANIMAL
[11:54] ---
FOOD
[11:54] ---
food, a substance
like warm water or ice,
[11:55] ---
BOILING WATER
[11:56] ---
ICE
[11:58] ---
a bonfire or some kind
of temperature control device?
[11:58] ---
FIRE...
[11:59] ---
ETC., ETC...
[12:01] ---
But since this is a test
of how well I understand Shinomiya,
[12:06] ---
the answer must be something
connected to Kaguya Shinomiya.
[12:10] ---
Therefore...
[12:12] ---
Four, is it something you own?
[12:16] ---
No.
[12:17] ---
Five, is it something you touched today?
[12:20] ---
No.
[12:21] ---
Six, is it something that's at your house?
[12:25] ---
No.
[12:27] ---
Three noes in a row.
[12:30] ---
I thought it was something Shinomiya
possessed, but now I don't know.
[12:35] ---
I'll explore Shinomiya's psychology
a little more.
[12:38] ---
All right.
[12:39] ---
Seven, is it something you like?
[12:45] ---
Yes.
[12:50] ---
What is that expression?
[12:52] ---
She looks kind of embarrassed or bashful.
[12:57] ---
Don't tell me.
[13:01] ---
Eight...
[13:03] ---
Is it a living thing?
[13:10] ---
Yes.
[13:12] ---
It's...
[13:15] ---
It's me, isn't it?
[13:17] ---
Calm down! Let's confirm it!
[13:21] ---
You can touch it.
[13:23] ---
It isn't an electrical appliance.
[13:24] ---
It isn't room temperature.
[13:25] ---
Shinomiya doesn't own it.
[13:28] ---
She hasn't touched it,
and of course, it isn't in her house.
[13:31] ---
It all matches!
[13:33] ---
And it's something that Shinomiya likes!
[13:37] ---
Is this...
[13:38] ---
a roundabout confession of love?
[13:42] ---
Nine, in what way do you like it?
[13:45] ---
THUMP THUMP
[13:46] ---
As a friend? As a human being?
[13:49] ---
Or something else?
[13:52] ---
No answer.
[13:54] ---
I can only answer with a yes or no.
[13:58] ---
Crap!
[13:59] ---
I'm so flustered, I wasted a shot!
[14:00] ---
I've got to calm down.
[14:02] ---
It's possible
that the answer is someone else!
[14:07] ---
Okay.
[14:09] ---
Ten, is it something
that's very intelligent, handsome,
[14:14] ---
with somewhat light-colored hair
and well-defined eyes?
[14:26] ---
It's me!
[14:29] ---
It's me!
[14:31] ---
It's definitely me!
[14:33] ---
Jeez, Shinomiya...
[14:36] ---
What a twisted way to confess your love.
[14:39] ---
We've been through a lot together, huh?
[14:42] ---
That's right.
[14:43] ---
Every time, I understood more
about the person named Shinomiya.
[14:48] ---
And...
[14:51] ---
Huh?
[14:57] ---
Well, you're out of questions.
[15:01] ---
Give me your answer.
[15:03] ---
That's right.
[15:04] ---
To a certain extent, I understand
what kind of person Shinomiya is.
[15:09] ---
At a time like this, she always...
[15:12] ---
My answer is...
[15:15] ---
a dog.
[15:19] ---
Correct.
[15:20] ---
PESU (DOG)
[15:21] ---
More precisely,
Fujiwara's dog, Pesu.
[15:22] ---
Good boy! Good boy!
You're so cute!
[15:22] ---
INTELLIGENT
[15:23] ---
HANDSOME
[15:23] ---
HANDSOME
LIGHT-COLORED HAIR
[15:24] ---
So shall we
go home?
[15:24] ---
HANDSOME
LIGHT-COLORED HAIR
WELL-DEFINED EYES
[15:26] ---
It's getting late, after all.
[15:30] ---
Right.
[15:35] ---
The results of today's test...
SIGN PASS
[15:38] ---
BECAUSE WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE,
SHIROGANE UNDERSTOOD SHINOMIYA'S NATURE.
[15:38] ---
Pass.
[15:43] ---
I FEEL LIKE PESU REMINDS ME
OF SOMEONE...
[15:44] ---
PANT PANT
[15:47] ---
Kaguya Shinomiya is the daughter
of the Shinomiya family,
[15:51] ---
which was part of one
of the old financial combines.
[15:53] ---
KAGUYA WANTS TO WALK
[15:53] ---
Her life was decided when she was born
or perhaps even before she was born.
[15:59] ---
For example, this...
[16:04] ---
2,574 times.
[16:07] ---
That's the number of times
[16:08] ---
Kaguya Shinomiya has gazed
out the window on the way to school.
[16:12] ---
SHINOMIYA
[16:14] ---
But one day...
[16:15] ---
A cat?
[16:18] ---
Yes.
[16:19] ---
It's lodged itself in there deep
near the engine.
[16:23] ---
I'll arrange for another car,
so if you would wait for a short while...
[16:27] ---
In that case, I'll just walk there.
[16:30] ---
At least go with Hayasaka.
[16:32] ---
I don't mind.
[16:37] ---
If she waits for me to change clothes,
she'll be late,
[16:41] ---
and I think she'll be fine
going on her own.
[16:43] ---
There. You see? I'll be fine.
[16:47] ---
Miss Kaguya!
[16:49] ---
See you later.
[16:55] ---
She was slightly out of breath
as she ran under the refreshing sun.
[17:12] ---
All right.
[17:14] ---
I may never get the chance
to walk to school again.
[17:17] ---
I have to take advantage
of this precious opportunity.
[17:20] ---
So...
[17:21] ---
I believe the president
rides his bike to school from Setagaya,
[17:24] ---
BICYCLE LANE
[17:25] ---
so he probably takes Meiji Street.
[17:25] ---
MEIJI STREET
[17:28] ---
The president always gets to school
on the late side,
[17:31] ---
so if I wait on the bridge, I'm sure...
[17:52] ---
Well, if I don't hurry,
I'll miss the president.
[18:03] ---
What's wrong?
[18:06] ---
If you've got a problem,
briefly tell me what it is.
[18:11] ---
The pedestrian crossing!
[18:14] ---
The pedestrian crossing?
[18:19] ---
All right, I'll cross with you.
[18:33] ---
Okay. Would you let go of me now?
[18:37] ---
There are a lot of pedestrian crossings
on the way to school!
[18:49] ---
Before today,
[18:50] ---
how did you go to school?
[18:53] ---
With a friend.
[18:56] ---
Yeti always held my hand
when we crossed.
[18:59] ---
The Abominable Snowman?
[19:01] ---
Her name is Ienaga,
so her nickname is Yeti.
[19:05] ---
But now that we're in the upper grades,
[19:07] ---
she said there's no more
group walking to school.
[19:09] ---
So now, I'm on my own.
[19:18] ---
WAAAH WAAAH
[19:20] ---
Her thinking is still totally lower grade.
[19:23] ---
I had a better head on my shoulders
even when I was in the lower grades.
[19:32] ---
I don't want to be alone!
[19:34] ---
I want to be with everyone else!
[19:41] ---
Listen.
[19:43] ---
Just because going to school in a group
is officially over,
[19:45] ---
that doesn't mean
you have to walk to school by yourself.
[19:51] ---
You should meet up somewhere
with your friend
[19:54] ---
or pick her up at her house
and walk together.
[19:57] ---
Right?
[19:59] ---
You're smart! Are you a genius?
[20:03] ---
What can I say?
[20:05] ---
Mikiti!
[20:07] ---
Yeti!
[20:10] ---
Well, you're fine now, right?
[20:12] ---
Go on.
[20:13] ---
Right!
[20:16] ---
Bye-bye, genius girl!
[20:20] ---
Good morning! Surprised to see me?
[20:22] ---
Good morning! You did surprise me!
[20:25] ---
- Let's go to school together!
- Yeah!
[20:28] ---
Well, where am I?
[20:36] ---
Eight twenty-five.
[20:38] ---
I'm going to be late.
[20:41] ---
If they find out I was late,
[20:43] ---
I'll never be allowed
to go to school on my own again.
[20:51] ---
I wanted to try doing it even just once.
[21:01] ---
Going to school with someone...
[21:11] ---
President?
[21:12] ---
Shinomiya?
[21:13] ---
What are you doing here?
[21:15] ---
The bell's gonna ring!
[21:17] ---
You, too. President, are you going to be—
[21:19] ---
I'm not late yet!
[21:21] ---
I've never been late yet!
[21:23] ---
You're the problem, Shinomiya!
[21:25] ---
If you walk, you'll definitely be late!
[21:28] ---
If a member of the Shuchiin
Student Council is late,
[21:29] ---
it sets a bad example!
[21:32] ---
Hop on the back!
[21:33] ---
We've gotta fly!
[21:35] ---
Being late is bad,
but two people on a bike is okay?
[21:37] ---
Be quiet!
When it comes to student council,
[21:39] ---
school rules take priority
over traffic rules!
[22:04] ---
Days later...
[22:05] ---
Kaguya has returned to her usual routine
of going to school by car.
[22:11] ---
- Can I go to your house, Yeti?
- Sure! Come over!
[22:13] ---
But sometimes...
[22:16] ---
she remembers that one day and smiles.
[23:52] ---
Go back to the forest.
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