E9 -

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    July 9th
SIGN    July 9th
SIGN    Life
    Theater
[00:08] Jashin
    I lost again.
[00:11] Jashin
    That's the 17,771st time!
[01:47] Jashin
    Medusa!
[01:50] Medusa
    Jashin-chan, what's wrong?
[01:52] Medusa
    Why do you look so serious?
[01:55] Jashin
    We're going to the bank.
[01:56] Medusa
    Huh?!
[01:57] Medusa
    Anything but that!
    Bank robbery is bad! Please reconsider!
[02:01] Jashin
    Not to rob it! Just to make a
    withdrawal! From your account!
[02:04] Medusa
    Oh, that's what you meant!
[02:06] Jashin
    I blew everything on pachislot.
[02:08] Medusa
    What a relief!
[02:09] Yurine
    That shouldn't be a relief.
[02:10] Jashin
    My actions will change history.
[02:13] Jashin
    I'll make this the last time.
[02:16] Jashin
    Well, we're off to the bank.
[02:27] Jashin
    Who actually gets caught up
    in a bank robbery, of all things?!
[02:32] RobberA
    Hey, ya better all behave!
[02:34] RobberB
    No funny business!
[02:37] Jashin
    I should've had Medusa come here by herself!
    Then I would have stayed nice and safe!
[02:42] RobberB
    Yo, snake woman! What are you
    mumbling about?! I'll kill you!
[02:46] Jashin
    I-I-It doesn't matter what happens to her!
[02:48] Jashin
    Just please don't hurt me!
[02:50] Medusa
    Jashin-chan!
[02:52] RobberB
    Keep quiet or I'll kill you!
[02:55] Ryo
    Mom, I wanna play a card game.
[02:58] Mom
    Shhh. Be quiet.
[03:00] Ryo
    Boo.
[03:00] Medusa
    Jashin-chan...
[03:02] Medusa
    Can't your dropkick take out
    guys like these pretty easily?
[03:06] Medusa
    We're devils, anyway.
    It's our job to punish bad people.
[03:09] Jashin
    But what if I miss? I'll be killed.
[03:13] Jashin
    Devil or not, a gunshot
    to the head would kill me.
[03:17] Medusa
    B-But we have to protect the humans...
[03:19] Ryo
    Mom, I'm hungry.
[03:22] Mom
    Hang in there a little longer.
[03:24] OL
    I'm supposed to be taking
    my supplement right now.
[03:26] Girl
    If I don't feed the chicks, they'll die.
[03:29] Mustache
    I have an important consultation.
    This is ridiculous.
[03:32] Hashira
    I won't make it to
    Miyu-tan's handshake event!
[03:37] Tanahashi
    Hey, part-timer...
[03:38] Pregnant
    Th-The baby's coming...
[03:40] Hottie
    I'm gonna poop my pants.
[03:43] Jashin
    Okay, I've got it.
[03:45] Medusa
    Jashin-chan!
[03:48] Jashin
    The people who want to do
    the protecting can do so!
[03:50] Jashin
    I don't wanna die,
    so I'll just watch from here!
[03:55] Tanahashi
    Guess I'll have to look for a new part-timer...
[03:58] Pregnant
    It's... It's coming...
[03:59] OL
    I'll get fat if I don't take my supplement.
[04:01] Mustache
    It's ridiculous. Just ridiculous.
[04:02] Girl
    The chicks...
[04:03] Jashin
    What? You're really going?
[04:06] Medusa
    Uh-huh.
[04:07] RobberA
    What's taking so long?
[04:08] RobberB
    Just wait a little longer.
[04:11] RobberB
    What do you want? Wander around
    too much and I'll shoot you.
[04:14] RobberA
    What's with that weird bag on your head?
[04:16] Medusa
    Um...
[04:17] Medusa
    Would you mind looking into my eyes?
[04:21] Robbers
    Your eyes?
[04:23] RobberA
    Huh? She's kinda cute!
[04:28] Jashin
    That's my girl.
[04:32] Medusa
    Everyone, it's all right now.
[04:34] Girl
    What was that? What'd you do?
[04:36] Mustache
    I don't know what happened, but you saved us!
[04:39] Hashira
    The girl who looks exactly like Miyu-tan!
[04:41] Mom
    Thank you!
[04:41] Ryo
    Thanks, paper bag lady!
[04:42] Tanahashi
    Thanks!
[04:43] Pregnant
    I had my baby! I'm so happy!
[04:46] Hottie
    I pooped my pants! It's so warm!
[04:50] Jashin
    Of course, I could've stopped
     'em with my dropkick, too,
[04:53] Jashin
    but I'll let Medusa take
    all the glory this once.
[05:03] Mei
    You did great, Orochimaru!
[05:06] Jashin
    Aw, it was no challenge at all for me!
[05:10] Jashin
    We unleashed our deadly combination!
[05:14] Mei
    By the way, Paper Bag-chan...
[05:16] Mei
    When will their petrification wear off?
[05:18] Medusa
    I think they'll go back to normal soon.
[05:20] Mei
    Got it! You can leave the rest to the police!
[05:23] Medusa
    Okay.
[05:24] Mei
    Well, Orochimaru, let's go.
[05:27] Jashin
    Why?
[05:27] Mei
    Why? Because today is the day
    I make you mine, of course!
[05:31] Mei
    You're under arrest!
[05:32] Jashin
    I don't wanna! Medusa, help me!
[05:36] Medusa
    Not my problem.
[05:37] Mei
    To commemorate the capture of a
     bank robber! Gotta put this on Instagram!
[05:41] Mei
    Hashtag "She couldn't steal the money,
    but she stole my heart!"
[05:45] Jashin
    Medusa, help me!
[05:46] Mei
    "Orochimaru love!" There!
SIGN    Assistance Time Medusa
[05:48] Jashin
    ATM!
[05:50] Jashin
    ATM!
[05:53] Medusa
    I don't help people who play dirty.
[05:56] Medusa
    The ATM is over there.
[05:58] Jashin
    Say what?! You coward!
SIGN    Narrator: Devil A Directed by: Devil B Composition: Devil C Photography: Devil E Editing: Devil F Effects: Devil G CG: Devil H EED: Devil I MA: Devil J Publicity: Devil K Administrator: Devil L AD: Devil N Research: Devil O with: Hell Bank Execution Office AP: Devil P Producers: Devil R Devil T Chief Producer: Devil U Direction: Devil W Devil Y Chief Director: Devil Z Rights: Flex Comix
[06:01] Jashin
    I knew you'd turn out to be that kind of girl!
SIGN    Devil D
SIGN    Sound
[06:03] DevilA
    Bank robbery cases in Japan peaked in 2001.
[06:03] Jashin
    I'll haunt you and your children
    and your grandchildren!
[06:06] Jashin
    I'll make you spend all of
    eternity regretting this in Hell!
SIGN    Production
[06:07] DevilA
    Since then, they have continued to decline.
SIGN    Devil M
[06:08] Jashin
    ATM! ATM! ATM! ATM! ATM! ATM!
SIGN    In Cooperation
[06:09] DevilA
    But instead, low-risk crimes such as
    bank transfer fraud have been on the rise.
SIGN    Tachibana Mei
SIGN    Devil Q Devil S
[06:14] DevilA
    We all probably need to call our parents
    regularly to ensure they won't be fooled.
SIGN    Devil V Devil X
SIGN    Production
[06:20] Jashin
    But at least this changed history!
[06:23] Medusa
    My paper bag tore.
[06:26] Jashin
    Wear this one.
[06:27] Medusa
    Thanks. I'm fine with that, but...
[06:30] Medusa
    The kraft paper ones just have
    the best feel, fit, and smell.
[06:36] Jashin
    You care about that?
[06:45] Minos
    All right!
[06:52] Minos
    Time to go deliver the milk!
SIGN    Milk
[06:58] Minos
    There.
[06:59] Minos
    That's the last house.
[07:02] Minos
    All right! I cut down my total
    delivery time by another second.
[07:06] Minos
    If I keep this up, pretty soon
    I'll get it all done in zero seconds!
[07:11] Minos
    Yeah, just kidding!
SIGN    Beef
[07:15] Minos
    Seconds!
SIGN    Beef
SIGN    Beef
SIGN    Beef
SIGN    Beef
[07:16] Yurine
    You sure eat a lot,
    and so early in the day.
[07:19] Jashin
    Show a little restraint.
[07:21] Minos
    Yeah, but your cooking's
    just so good, Jashin-chan.
[07:25] Jashin
    W-Well, I know that!
SIGN    Beef
[07:28] Jashin
    Here.
[07:29] Minos
    Ooh! A folktale-sized serving!
[07:31] DevilA
    This folktale.
[07:32] Jashin
    But seriously, you're so
    energetic, it's overwhelming.
[07:36] Minos
    Yep! I haven't caught a cold
     even once since I was a kid!
[07:39] Jashin
    Yeah, since you're so dumb.
[07:43] Jashin
    I've never caught one, either.
[07:45] Jashin
    'Cause I'm dumb.
[07:47] Yurine
    Isn't it about time you got going?
[07:49] Minos
    Oops! I'm gonna be late!
[07:51] Minos
    Thanks for the meal! See ya later!
[07:54] Yurine
    Minos sure is a hard worker.
[07:56] Yurine
    Unlike someone else I know.
[07:59] Jashin
    I'm a career housewife.
SIGN    Safety
    First
SIGN    Under construction. We apologize for the inconvenience.
[08:04] Minos
    There we go.
[08:05] Tanahashi
    You're pretty damn reliable, aren't ya?
[08:08] Minos
    Just leave it all to me!
[08:09] Pekola
    S-So heavy...
[08:10] Tanahashi
    Yo! Smaller girl!
[08:12] Pekola
    What? Are you talking to Pekola?
[08:15] Tanahashi
    I dunno if you're Pekola or not,
    but I mean you, part-timer!
[08:18] Tanahashi
    Quit dawdling and carry
    those bags, part-timer!
[08:21] Pekola
    Even if it's to stay alive, being worked
    to the bone by a human is just...
[08:24] Minos
    Hup!
[08:25] Minos
    You can leave the heavy labor to me.
[08:28] Minos
    Get him to put you on a different job.
[08:30] Pekola
    Th-Thank you...
[08:32] Minos
    It's fine, it's fine!
[08:34] Pekola
    Sh-She's so dazzling...
[08:36] Pekola
    She's a devil... right?
[08:42] Minos
    Well, that's another day's work done!
[08:45] Minos
    Maybe I'll go for a run on my way home!
[08:47] Pekola
    U-Um, thank you for—
[08:54] Pekola
    I didn't get to thank her. I'm such a fool!
[08:59] Pekola
    Next time...
SIGN    When will I finally get to see Jashin-chan?
[09:13] Minos
    Whoa! Are you okay?
SIGN    Y-Yes...
[09:17] Minos
    Oh, good!
[09:19] Mions
    Sorry about that. Be careful getting home.
[09:22] Minos
    Later!
SIGN    Is she a devil?
SIGN    Wait! Do you know where Jashin-chan is?
SIGN    Hey!
[09:33] Ryo
    Minos-oneechan!
[09:35] Ryo
    Play a card game with us!
[09:36] Kids
    Come play!
[09:39] Minos
    Sorry! I don't have my cards on me today.
[09:42] Ryo
    Aw, you don't?
[09:43] Mohawk
    Too bad.
[09:44] Minos
    Next time, okay?
[09:46] Ryo
    Okay! Bye!
[09:48] Kids
    See ya!
[09:48] Mohawk
    Play with us again!
[09:50] Jashin
    You boys...
[09:53] Jashin
    I have cards. I'm willing to play with you.
[10:01] Ryo
    Nah, that's okay. Let's go, guys.
[10:04] Bakuga
    Man, I wanted to play with Minos-oneechan.
[10:07] LOVE
    She has such big boobs.
[10:08] Ryo
    And she's super strong, too!
[10:10] Mohawk
    Plus, she has such big boobs.
[10:18] Minos
    Another hard day's work!
[10:21] Minos
    Nothing beats a bath after hard labor.
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
SIGN    Ebisu Face Beer
[10:34] Minos
    That's the stuff!
[10:36] Minos
    I'm gonna work hard again tomorrow!
[10:41] Jashin
    Damn it! Why is Minos so popular with
    humans and I'm not?! We're both devils!
[10:46] Jashin
    All humans should just die!
[10:49] Yurine
    It's probably because
    you think things like that.
[10:52] Jashin
    Jashin-chan Dropkick!
[10:56] Minos
    What do you want to drink?
    Orange or grapefruit juice?
[11:00] Jashin
    Orange.
[11:01] Minos
    There.
[11:05] Minos
    Here.
[11:06] Jashin
    That seems kinda gross.
SIGN    SOSEIKI
SIGN    Chinese Cooking
SIGN    Chinese Cooking & Ramen
[11:11] Yurine
    Jashin-chan...
SIGN    Ramen
[11:13] Yurine
    Do you want ramen for lunch?
[11:15] Jashin
    Hmm... If I had to choose,
    I'm more in the mood for rice.
[11:20] Yurine
    Your face says you want to eat ramen.
[11:23] Jashin
    Uh, no, rice—
[11:24] Yurine
    You want ramen, don't you?
[11:27] Jashin
    Yes, I want ramen.
[11:30] Jashin
    It happened again.
[11:32] Poporon
    Welcome!
[11:36] Jashin
    Ah, it's you!
[11:39] Yurine
    You know her?
[11:39] Jashin
    She almost killed me!
[11:42] Jashin
    I'll finish you off this time!
[11:43] Poporon
    Wh-What are you talking about? Please stop!
[11:46] Jashin
    Don't play dumb!
[11:47] Chiba/Ozaki
    Stop!
SIGN    Carnivore
SIGN    Herbivore
SIGN    Carnivore
SIGN    Herbivore
[11:48] Chiba
    No using violence against Noel-chan!
[11:50] Ozaki
    No violence!
[11:51] Jashin
    Huh? Noel?
SIGN    Carnivore
SIGN    Herbivore
[11:53] Jashin
    Was your name Noel?
SIGN    Carnivore
SIGN    Herbivore
SIGN    Carnivore
SIGN    Herbivore
[11:55] Chiba
    Noel-chan is a hard-working girl
    who works here while striving to be an idol!
SIGN    Carnivore
SIGN    Herbivore
[12:00] Ozaki
    You can't kill a girl like her!
[12:01] Chiba
    Yeah!
[12:02] Jashin
    An... idol?
[12:04] Jashin
    She looks like her, but...
    maybe she isn't Poporon-chan?
[12:09] Jashin
    So you're... Noel-san?
[12:12] Poporon
    Ugh, this just turned into
    a huge pain in the ass.
[12:15] Poporon
    My name is Amatsuka Noel!
[12:18] Poporon
    It's so nice to meet you!
[12:20] DevilA
    It's said that ramen with a half portion
    of fried rice originated in Jinbocho.
[12:24] DevilA
    Whether you believe that or not is up to you.
[12:27] Poporon
    What would you like to order?
[12:29] Yurine
    Come on, enough with the
    weird rants. Just order already.
[12:34] Poporon
    I'm saved!
[12:35] Owner
    Here you go.
[12:37] Yurine
    So, I see you hired some new help
    since the last time I was here.
[12:41] Owner
    Yeah, and business has been
    booming thanks to Noel-chan.
SIGN    Herbivore
[12:45] Chiba
    We come here every day, after all!
[12:48] Ozaki
    Yep!
[12:49] Poporon
    And I appreciate it!
[12:50] Poporon
    Here's some stir-fried
    bean sprouts. They're on me!
[12:56] Chiba
    She's providing bean sprouts to
    pigs like us out of her own paycheck!
[13:01] Ozaki
    We're so blessed!
[13:03] Poporon
    Talk about simple.
[13:05] Poporon
    Who knew human men were so easy to ply
    you could win them over with bean sprouts?
[13:11] Jashin
    That unique pouch...
[13:14] Jashin
    It's obviously that angel's.
[13:16] Jashin
    Okay.
[13:18] Jashin
    Poporon-chan! I'd like
    some more water, please.
[13:20] Poporon
    Coming right up!
[13:22] Poporon
    Uh-oh!
[13:25] Jashin
    I knew you were Poporon-chan!
SIGN    Carnivore
SIGN    Herbivore
[13:28] Chiba
    Stop, foul snake woman!
SIGN    Carnivore
SIGN    Herbivore
[13:30] Ozaki
    What are you doing to Noel-chan?!
[13:32] Yurine
    Jashin-chan, this is a place
    where everyone can eat.
[13:37] Yurine
    So you need to eat your food quietly, too.
[13:40] Jashin
    But she—
[13:42] Yurine
    Don't point.
[13:43] Jashin
    H-Hey...
[13:45] Jashin
    Apyo!
[13:47] DevilA
    It's said that the first person to
    eat ramen in Japan was Mito Komon,
[13:52] DevilA
    but a new theory suggests it may actually
    have been a monk in the Muromachi period.
[13:56] DevilA
    What you choose to believe is up to... you...
[13:59] Yurine
    I'd like to pay now.
[14:01] Jashin
    M-My finger... My finger...
[14:01] Poporon
    R-Right...
[14:04] Yurine
    That was a great meal.
    I apologize for all the fuss.
[14:08] Owner
    S-Sure...
[14:10] Yurine
    Time to go, Jashin-chan.
[14:18] Yurine
    It seems what Jashin-chan says is true,
    that you're no ordinary human.
[14:23] Yurine
    You have the same aura
    as someone else I know.
[14:29] Poporon
    That woman bosses about a devil,
    and she knows who I am?
[14:34] Poporon
    Who in the world is she?
[14:35] Jashin
    Jashin-chan Dropkick!
[14:40] Jashin
    The word "stationery"
    contains the word "armor,"
SIGN    (Stationery)
SIGN    Bunbougu
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    (Armor)
[14:44] Jashin
    so stationery must have
     high defensive power.
[14:47] Jashin
    Yurine!
[14:48] Jashin
    I want to test this thing's defensive power,
    so I need you to attack me.
[14:52] Yurine
    Got it.
[14:53] Jashin
    Okay, bring it on!
[14:59] Jashin
    It couldn't... block it...
[15:02] Yurine
    You're so dumb.
[15:10] Jashin
    Th-The pudding convulsions won't stop...
SIGN    Puttsun
SIGN    Pudding
[15:20] Jashin
    Found you!
[15:30] Jashin
    Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
    Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
[15:36] Jashin
    Having learned how delicious pudding is
    after coming to the human realm,
[15:40] Jashin
    I now need to ingest pudding regularly,
    or I experience convulsions.
[15:45] Jashin
    Yummy! So yummy!
[15:49] Jashin
    This sensation, like something
    soaking into my brain!
[15:52] Jashin
    Red bean buns and chocolate-flavored
    red bean buns are no match for this!
SIGN    Yurine
[16:06] Jashin
    Now I've done it!
[16:07] Jashin
    This was Yurine's!
[16:10] Jashin
    Crap, crap, crap, crap!
[16:12] Jashin
    I gotta go buy another one
    before Yurine gets home!
[16:15] Yurine
    I'm home.
[16:17] Yurine
    What's wrong? You look like
    the world's coming to an end.
[16:21] Jashin
    It just did.
[16:23] Jashin
    Everything looked so vivid,
    and then it all collapsed.
[16:26] Yurine
    Huh?
[16:27] Yurine
    Oh, I see you ate my pudding.
[16:30] Jashin
    I-It was an invisible man.
[16:33] Yurine
    Huh?
[16:34] Jashin
    An invisible man...
[16:36] Jashin
    Watch out! There's an
    invisible man around here!
[16:40] Jashin
    That's who ate your pudding!
[16:42] Jashin
    I'll catch him!
[16:44] Jashin
    He punched me! Not bad, invisible man!
[16:48] Jashin
    Take this! Royal Copenhagen!
[16:52] Jashin
    Wait! You're running away?!
[16:54] Jashin
    Damn! He got away!
[16:57] Yurine
    So... the window's closed.
    How did he get out?
[17:01] Jashin
    Oh, er... well... he just, uh...
    passed through the window?
[17:07] Yurine
    How can you see him if he's invisible?
[17:10] Jashin
    B-Because... I'm a devil...
[17:16] Yurine
    You have pudding around your mouth.
[17:18] Jashin
    Huh?
[17:20] Yurine
    Coming.
[17:21] Delivery
    Delivery!
[17:23] Jashin
    M-Maybe it got on me while
    I was fighting the invisible man...
[17:30] Yurine
    The thing I ordered just arrived.
[17:32] Jashin
    Huh?
[17:33] Jashin
    The "thing"? What thing?
[17:36] Yurine
    An iron maiden.
[17:38] Yurine
    If you'd been honest and told me you ate it,
    I would've just sent you to buy more.
[17:43] Yurine
    Why did you have to come up
    with such a stupid story?
SIGN    Beth
[17:54] Jashin
    Bathory!
[17:56] Yurine
    Well, come on. You'd better get out
    of there before you run out of blood.
[17:59] Jashin
    If I could get out by myself,
    I would have by now!
[19:41] Jashin
    It's so foggy today. There's no one around.
[19:55] Jashin
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What?! What was that?!
[19:56] Medusa
    Jashin-chan! Help me!
[20:01] Jashin
    Medusa? What in the heck happened?
[20:06] Jashin
    Z-Zombies?!
[20:14] Jashin
    In here!
[20:15] Jashin
    Medusa, run faster!
[20:17] Medusa
    W-Wait!
[20:23] Jashin
    It's locked!
[20:24] Jashin
    Damn it! Which idiot locked this door?!
[20:28] Medusa
    Jashin-chan, look!
[20:30] Jashin
    Nice, Medusa!
[20:46] Medusa
    Jashin-chan, look...
[20:47] Jashin
    What is it?
[20:51] Medusa
    Look. We have light.
[20:53] Jashin
    D-Don't shine it in my eyes.
[20:57] Medusa
    But we don't want them
    to find us, so I'll turn it off.
[21:07] Jashin
    We'll hide in here!
[21:08] Medusa
    Okay.
[21:15] Mei
    Oro...
[21:17] Mei
    Orochimaru...
[21:23] Mei
    Orochimaru...
[21:31] Mei
    I know... you're... in here...
[21:52] Minos
    You okay?
[21:53] Jashin
    Minos! You did it!
[21:56] Minos
    It's dangerous here.
    There's a horde of zombies inside.
[21:59] Jashin
    So should we go outside?
[22:01] Minos
    No, that's a bad idea.
[22:03] Minos
    The fog's so thick that
    we won't be able to see a thing.
[22:06] Jashin
    Where should we go, then?!
[22:08] Minos
    This way.
[22:28] Minos
    Run! Run! Run!
[22:31] Minos
    In here!
[22:32] Minos
    Nope! Not here!
[22:33] Jashin
    This way!
[22:36] Jashin
    It's a dead end!
[22:39] Jashin
    Another door that won't open!
[22:43] Jashin
    Please! Someone open the door!
[22:45] Jashin
    Please open the door!
[22:50] Yurine
    It's a sliding door.
[22:52] Jashin
    Yurine!
[22:53] Jashin
    Silly me! I wasn't thinking!
[22:55] Minos
    Hurry, Medusa!
[22:56] Medusa
    Wait!
[23:00] Jashin
    Hey! Don't leave me behind! Help me!
[23:03] Jashin
    Yurine! Medusa! Minos!
    Someone, please save me!
[23:07] Jashin
    Someone!
[23:12] Yurine
    Jashin-chan?
[23:14] Yurine
    You okay? I think you were
    having a nightmare.
[23:17] Jashin
    I... I'm okay...
[23:20] Yurine
    Don't yell so loud this late at night, okay?
[23:23] Jashin
    O-Okay...
SIGN    Konjac
[23:27] DevilA
    If you softly place a wet towel
    over a sleeping person's feet,
[23:33] DevilA
    it may increase their chances
    of having a nightmare...
[23:40] Jashin
    There are those who trample on good will.
[23:43] Jashin
    Still, the angel of sorrow
    stands in the face of evil.
[23:46] Jashin
    Who is it this angel
    would so fervently protect?
[23:49] Jashin
    Dropkick on My Devil returns next time
    with a One-Winged Angel to your heart!