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E14 - The Super Written Exam – Heart-Pounding, Reeling, and Restless. You're Kidding!?

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    A sound "soul"
[00:16] ---
    dwells within a sound mind
[00:18] ---
    and a sound body.
[00:25] ---
    Yay! Yay! Yay!
[00:40] ---
    Lord Death, mission accomplished.
[00:45] ---
    99 souls that had turned into
    Kishin eggs, and one witch soul.
[00:50] ---
    As promised, I will make
    Soul my personal weapon.
[00:58] ---
    So then, he'll be a Death Scythe.
[01:07] ---
    Hooray!
[01:13] ---
    What are you goofing around for?
    You're going to be late for school.
[01:24] ---
    "Test!!"
[01:45] ---
    If the lamps of linked souls
[01:48] ---
    point to your heart,
[01:51] ---
    do you hear the echoes now,
[01:54] ---
    stronger than words?
[02:09] ---
    We barely ever look each other in the eye,
[02:11] ---
    yet our very fates are becoming entwined
[02:14] ---
    Our destinations overlap completely,
[02:17] ---
    so run with me through the slippery night
[02:20] ---
    Though the glare that
    comes from being too tenacious

[02:25] ---
    may carry over into bad dreams
[02:32] ---
    If the lamps of linked souls
[02:35] ---
    point to your heart,
[02:37] ---
    do you hear the echoes now,
[02:41] ---
    stronger than words?
[02:44] ---
    The reasons why we ever met don't matter
[02:46] ---
    We are drawn together
[02:49] ---
    The more we are hurt
    in the moments we touch,

[02:52] ---
    the clearer things become
[03:01] ---
    "Written test in 3 days!!"
[03:05] ---
    People, I'm sure you are
    aware of this, but time is short.
[03:09] ---
    The general test for meisters and weapons,
[03:11] ---
    the Super Written Exam is in three days.
[03:15] ---
    Are you up to speed with your studies?
[03:18] ---
    Of course. I've been
    preparing for this for a month now.

[03:22] ---
    I have written up the
    questions for this one.
[03:25] ---
    I'm sure there are both
    those who are anxious,
[03:28] ---
    and those who are looking
    forward to it, so good luck to all.
[03:31] ---
    Okay, you're dismissed!
[03:35] ---
    Ugh, isn't there some easy
    way to memorize this stuff?
[03:40] ---
    There's no meaning in
    winning an easy fight.
[03:42] ---
    I won't let you get away
    with any dirty tricks, either.
[03:44] ---
    I wonder if you'll take
    first this year, too, Ox.
[03:47] ---
    Hmm, we'll see.
[03:49] ---
    That's right. Last year,
    I got beat out by Ox.

[03:54] ---
    But then, there are some
    hard workers in this class.
[03:57] ---
    Like say, Maka there, who
    came in second to me last year.
[04:04] ---
    Do you know why there's a
    "Super" tacked on to this test?
[04:08] ---
    There's a jinx that says
    that whoever comes in first
[04:10] ---
    will make a Death Scythe.
[04:12] ---
    What, really?!
[04:14] ---
    Yes. It's my destiny. Mama
    was at the top of her year, after all.

[04:19] ---
    I have to make it to the top, as well.
[04:21] ---
    All right! I'm going to come in first,
[04:24] ---
    and turn you into a Death Scythe, Tsubaki!
[04:26] ---
    Right.
[04:27] ---
    This will be our first test ever, huh?
[04:30] ---
    Let's do our best!
[04:31] ---
    I'm not going to study
    just because there's a test.
[04:35] ---
    Big talker. Are you studying at all?
[04:38] ---
    I am a shinigami. I have
    a firm grasp of phasmology.
[04:41] ---
    That's right. Kid is here this time, too.
[04:45] ---
    I sure have a lot of rivals.
[04:58] ---
    What are you doing, Senpai?
[05:00] ---
    Ah, Stein...
[05:02] ---
    I'm sending out an aura to my
    daughter to do well on the test.
[05:04] ---
    I see.
[05:06] ---
    Why?
[05:07] ---
    Okay, continue.
[05:09] ---
    Yeah!
[05:14] ---
    Maka!
[05:21] ---
    "The Super Written Exam... Heart-pounding,
    Reeling, and Restless. You're Kidding!?"

[05:30] ---
    "Beat Ox!!"
[05:30] ---
    All right! Last spurt!
[05:33] ---
    Say, Maka, are tests fun?
[05:37] ---
    Mm-hmm. You get to find out
    how much you've learned so far.
[05:40] ---
    It's easy to tell, from
    your score and your ranking.
[05:43] ---
    It's like a game.
[05:46] ---
    But I have to work extra-hard this time.
[05:49] ---
    There's a jinx that says whoever
    comes in first will make a Death Scythe.
[05:53] ---
    It's hard to become a Death Scythe.
[05:56] ---
    Your papa is amazing, Maka.
[05:58] ---
    It's my mama that's amazing.
[06:00] ---
    She's the one who made my
    good-for-nothing papa into a Death Scythe.
[06:10] ---
    So... the originator of phasmology... was...
[06:15] ---
    Oh, Soul, you're studying, too?
[06:18] ---
    Yeah. I'm busy. Don't bother me.
[06:23] ---
    Oh, but I'm bored! Play with me!
[06:33] ---
    How annoying!
[06:35] ---
    498...
[06:38] ---
    499...
[06:42] ---
    500...!
[06:46] ---
    If I can't answer the
    next question, 1000 sit-ups!
[06:50] ---
    Let's see, what have we here...?
[07:06] ---
    --Damn it!
[07:08] ---
    --Let's cut out the penalty games
    and study this. I'll teach you.
[07:08] ---
    --1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
[07:18] ---
    Capable woman is complete.
[07:21] ---
    All right, let's study!
[07:23] ---
    Nice going, Sis!
[07:33] ---
    Oh, it looks like you two
    are both hard at work studying.
[07:37] ---
    If you need anything...
[07:38] ---
    Er, what are you doing?
[07:41] ---
    We're on a break.
[07:42] ---
    I've got this one little
    hair that's too long.
[07:45] ---
    It bothers me the way it sticks out.
[07:48] ---
    What are you doing, you fool?!
[07:50] ---
    Let me take care of the eyebrow grooming!
[07:52] ---
    What happens if your left
    and right sides become uneven?!
[07:55] ---
    Last time you did it, Kid,
    how long do you think it took?
[07:59] ---
    It was a month!
[08:00] ---
    All right. I'll do it quicker this time.
[08:02] ---
    Okay? I'm begging you! Please! Please!
[08:06] ---
    Well, if you're going to beg...
[08:08] ---
    All right!
[08:09] ---
    I'll start by drawing up some plans.
[08:11] ---
    You're disturbing our studying. Get lost.
[08:13] ---
    What concept should
    I go for? Something touching.
[08:17] ---
    That's the kind of eyebrows I want.
[08:19] ---
    I don't have eyebrows that amazing.
[09:19] ---
    Nobody will play with me.
    Tests are a big deal, huh?
[09:34] ---
    My body is cleansed now,
    and everything is right.
[09:37] ---
    Black☆Star studying
    diligently makes me so happy.
[09:42] ---
    I think I'll make him some supper, too.
[09:47] ---
    Yahoo!
[09:49] ---
    Whoops! I shouted! Quietly, quietly...
[09:54] ---
    Someone like me isn't cut
    out for dull studying, all right.
[09:58] ---
    I'll just steal the test, like an assassin.
[10:05] ---
    There they are!
[10:08] ---
    With this, I am a god!
[10:10] ---
    I'll have a perfect score, even among gods!
[10:26] ---
    Black☆Star?
[10:29] ---
    Where are you?
[10:42] ---
    How is your studying coming?
[10:44] ---
    We're on a break.
[10:45] ---
    Three days off should be plenty!
[10:49] ---
    The way this is sticking
    out is bothering me.
[10:55] ---
    All right, done.
[11:00] ---
    All right.
[11:06] ---
    I've done all that I can.
[11:08] ---
    Now to get some sleep,
    and get ready for tomorrow.
[11:12] ---
    Mmm... may... Maka... Maka... Maka...
[11:18] ---
    get... first... first...
    first... first... place...
[11:23] ---
    I'm going to do my best
    on that test tomorrow!
[11:36] ---
    I, Sid, will be proctoring your exam.
[11:39] ---
    Just one thing before we start the test.
[11:41] ---
    Ya... hoo...
[11:44] ---
    Black☆Star!
[11:45] ---
    We had a certain idiot who
    went into Dr. Stein's laboratory
[11:48] ---
    to steal the test last night.
[11:50] ---
    Ya... hoo...
[11:52] ---
    Remember, don't you
    dare do anything dishonest!
[11:56] ---
    The test will go for 60 minutes.
[11:58] ---
    Keep your problems face down!
[12:10] ---
    Begin!
[12:17] ---
    It's all right. Relax.
[12:20] ---
    Anyone who does this earnestly is a fool.
[12:22] ---
    There's no way the
    tortoise who gets the late start

[12:24] ---
    can win the race against the hare.
[12:26] ---
    The world is full of unrelenting hares.
[12:30] ---
    Whoever gets a good score
    on the test prevails,

[12:31] ---
    no matter the means.
[12:37] ---
    My entire body is wrapped
    with cheat sheets!

[12:41] ---
    There's no meaning in not
    winning an easy fight.

[12:45] ---
    Just as long as you end up winning.
[12:50] ---
    Is this all of it?
[12:51] ---
    You fiend! You want to
    take my underpants away, too?!
[12:54] ---
    What is he, a moron?
[12:56] ---
    Go back to your seat.
    I'll forgive you this one time.
[12:58] ---
    That's the kind of man I was.
[13:00] ---
    Damn!
[13:04] ---
    No! Concentrate, concentrate...
[13:07] ---
    The following questions
    are fill-in-the-blank.

[13:10] ---
    Let's see... "Complete the
    following sentences. A sound soul..."

[13:16] ---
    Easy, easy! "...resides in a sound...
[13:20] ---
    "skin"
[13:20] ---
    skin, and sound cuticles."
[13:27] ---
    I'm sure that's wrong!
[13:29] ---
    I hadn't even answered
    a single question yet!

[13:32] ---
    This is not cool!
[13:34] ---
    But, I'm still in luck. Sitting
    next to me is the brilliant Kid.

[13:49] ---
    Abysmal!!
[13:53] ---
    I can't write it neatly!
[13:54] ---
    He's still writing his name! Kid's no help.
[13:58] ---
    And on the left...
[14:00] ---
    She's writing with a crayon?!
[14:05] ---
    She's worn down the yellow one quite a bit.
[14:11] ---
    Giraffe! Giraffe!
[14:15] ---
    Must be her favorite.
[14:17] ---
    "Answer true or false."
[14:20] ---
    There it is! Just like
    Dr. Stein. This is a trick question.

[14:25] ---
    Is this a trick?
[14:27] ---
    No, couldn't be.
[14:29] ---
    The professor wouldn't do
    anything to trick the students.

[14:33] ---
    False!
[14:34] ---
    I won't be fooled by that trick!
[14:37] ---
    Teacher, I'm finished.
[14:40] ---
    Oh, then you may read a book or something.
[14:49] ---
    Study freak.
[14:59] ---
    Ten minutes left!
[15:00] ---
    What?! I'm running out of time!
[15:03] ---
    Kid is still writing his name!
[15:05] ---
    Done!
[15:07] ---
    What?!
[15:08] ---
    Giraffe! Giraffe!
[15:10] ---
    She's doing arts and
    crafts with her answer sheet?!

[15:12] ---
    I oughtta break yer neck!
[15:16] ---
    She is gifted, in one sense.
[15:18] ---
    Damn, it's no good.
[15:22] ---
    Damn, it's no good.
[15:25] ---
    No matter what I do, the
    placement of the "k" is off.
[15:29] ---
    I'm nothing but shriveled-up scum.
[15:32] ---
    I'm a trash pile of a person, and
    that's why the "k" has forsaken me.
[15:48] ---
    Teacher, Kid has collapsed!
[15:50] ---
    Let him be.
[15:55] ---
    Soul...
[15:58] ---
    Black☆Star!
[16:10] ---
    You're writing in blood...?
[16:12] ---
    That's right. You saw the
    answers in the laboratory.

[16:16] ---
    You're trying to tell them to me.
[16:18] ---
    Leave it to me! I will
    carry on your dying wishes!

[16:37] ---
    Who cares about your autograph?!
[16:40] ---
    Whisper amongst yourselves
    when you're dead! 30 seconds left!
[16:47] ---
    It's all right. I've
    checked over everything.

[16:55] ---
    Ten seconds left!
[16:57] ---
    There...
[17:03] ---
    Five seconds left!
[17:05] ---
    Perfect.
[17:10] ---
    That's it!
[17:11] ---
    I got 'im!
[17:12] ---
    I got it!
[17:16] ---
    It's over.
[17:17] ---
    No...
[17:20] ---
    --I got 'im!
[17:20] ---
    --It was over when I
    was busted down to my shorts.

[17:34] ---
    I'm worn out.
    That was a hard one, huh?
[17:36] ---
    It was too hard!
    It sure was.
[17:39] ---
    "Super Written Exam Results"
[17:53] ---
    "1. Maka Albarn, 100"
    "2. Ox Ford, 99"
[18:16] ---
    You're going to ruin your health.
[18:19] ---
    The test is over. Are you studying again?
[18:22] ---
    No, no. When I was straightening
    up the room, messy from studying,
[18:26] ---
    I found this old album.
[18:30] ---
    Is that you and your skeezy old man?
[18:33] ---
    He's so young!
[18:35] ---
    Mm-hmm, Papa was 18 when I was born.
[18:40] ---
    He sure read picture books to me a lot.
[18:45] ---
    You get your love of
    books from your old man, huh?
[18:54] ---
    Maybe.
[18:55] ---
    "Chupa Cabra's"
[18:56] ---
    Yay!
[18:58] ---
    Congratulations, Papa.
[19:00] ---
    The results of the Super
    Written Exam are out.
[19:02] ---
    That's something we can drink to!
[19:08] ---
    I know how for three days straight,
[19:10] ---
    you've been casting your aura on Maka.
[19:14] ---
    Maka is amazing. Top of
    her class, just like my wife was.
[19:19] ---
    Your ex-wife.
[19:23] ---
    Oh, right. Blair, can I
    ask you for a favor?
[19:27] ---
    I want to get Maka something,
    to congratulate her.
[19:30] ---
    Could you casually ask
    her what her favorite book is,
[19:32] ---
    and then buy it for her as a present?
[19:34] ---
    I put the money and a
    letter in this envelope.
[19:37] ---
    You should give it to her yourself.
[19:39] ---
    If I gave it to her directly,
    she might not accept it.
[19:45] ---
    What?
[19:46] ---
    Papa, you really do love Maka, don't you?
[19:49] ---
    If that's what you want,
    just leave it to me.
[19:54] ---
    Thanks.
[20:00] ---
    Oh, no. I totally bought
    something for myself.
[20:07] ---
    I couldn't help but give in to temptation.
[20:09] ---
    And I'm usually the one doing the tempting.
[20:13] ---
    But misappropriating money is wrong.
[20:16] ---
    If I shrink down the size with
    some magic, they'd be perfect for Maka.
[20:20] ---
    Pump-pumpkin, Pumpkin...
[20:26] ---
    Now to include the card.
[20:29] ---
    I'm home!
[20:31] ---
    Welcome back. I made
    some pumpkin pie, so have some.
[20:34] ---
    All right!
[20:36] ---
    Maka, you have a present from your papa.
[20:40] ---
    He said it was to celebrate your test.
[20:43] ---
    What could it be?
[20:46] ---
    Ta-da!
[20:52] ---
    What nerve he has, sending
    sexy underwear to his daughter.
[20:56] ---
    Here, Maka, there's a message card, too.
[21:01] ---
    What have we here?
[21:04] ---
    Congratulations! All that
    studying must have been rough.

[21:08] ---
    I'm sending you this present,
[21:10] ---
    in the hopes that you
    might have a little fun with it.

[21:14] ---
    From Papa.
[21:16] ---
    How does he want me to have fun?
[21:20] ---
    Is he trying to turn me
    into his slutty little girl?
[21:30] ---
    I'll bet she's overjoyed
    with it right about now.
[21:34] ---
    He really is a lowlife.
[21:38] ---
    I hate him!
[21:40] ---
    Maka...
[21:57] ---
    It's beginning. If we knock
[22:01] ---
    on the doors that connect you and me,
[22:05] ---
    what kind of future will be waiting for us?
[22:14] ---
    What grown-ups seek
[22:18] ---
    is a perfect style,
[22:21] ---
    where everything comes together someday,
[22:25] ---
    as though it were a bunch of gears
[22:31] ---
    God, if you're there, listen to me
[22:35] ---
    You have to watch these days pass by,
[22:39] ---
    with moments like these that will never,
[22:45] ---
    ever repeat themselves
[22:48] ---
    Which is why there are so many boys & girls
[22:52] ---
    who want to be children
[22:54] ---
    just a little while longer
[22:58] ---
    out there in the world,
    hiding out of sight and dreaming

[23:05] ---
    in this story
[23:18] ---
    The test is over!
[23:19] ---
    No, it's not. Black☆Star,
    you have to take a makeup.

[23:22] ---
    Don't look back to the past!
[23:23] ---
    Big ol' me has made up
    my mind to only look forward!

[23:26] ---
    No, see, the makeup isn't
    in the past, it's in the future.

[23:28] ---
    Ah, what are you trying to do, trip me up?
[23:31] ---
    I'm not tripping you up,
    you reap what you sow.

[23:33] ---
    If you say so, then I ask you,
    what am I supposed to do?

[23:35] ---
    Study, why don't you?
[23:36] ---
    Right, sorry.
[23:38] ---
    Next time on Soul Eater, episode 15:
[23:40] ---
    "The Soul Eating Black Dragon...
    Scaredy-cat Liz and Her Merry Friends?"

[23:44] ---
    Your soul is mine!