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E25 - The Death Scythes Convene – Stop Dad's Staff Reassignment!?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    A sound "soul"
[00:16] ---
    dwells within a sound mind
[00:18] ---
    and a sound body.
[00:30] ---
    How many years it's been
    since I last stepped foot here...
[00:35] ---
    Oh, Lord. Please give the
    people comfortable lives and deaths.
[01:00] ---
    Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga
[01:03] ---
    mune wo sasu nara
[01:06] ---
    kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga
[01:09] ---
    ima kikoeru ka?
[01:23] ---
    Roku ni me mo awasazu
[01:26] ---
    unmei ni made karande'ku
[01:29] ---
    Yukisaki moro kabutte'ru
[01:32] ---
    kuenai yoru wo hashire
[01:35] ---
    Fukaoi shi sugita mabushisa ga
[01:40] ---
    warui yume ni tsuzuite mo
[01:47] ---
    Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga
[01:50] ---
    mune wo sasu nara
[01:52] ---
    kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga
[01:55] ---
    ima kikoeru ka?
[01:59] ---
    Deatta wake wa dou datte ii
[02:01] ---
    Hikitsukerarete
[02:04] ---
    Fureta shunkan no kizu no bun dake
[02:07] ---
    tashika ni nareru
[02:19] ---
    Crona...
[02:23] ---
    It's... all right...
[02:32] ---
    I wonder how he's doing...
[02:37] ---
    Yeesh.
[02:40] ---
    About the Demon Sword...
[02:44] ---
    For now, we've taken him
    under our care after he surrendered,
[02:49] ---
    but I believe you should
    decide how he should be dealt with.
[02:54] ---
    Indeed...
[02:58] ---
    Does something bother you?
[03:00] ---
    Yes. There's something
    a bit strange about him...
[03:05] ---
    Something strange?
[03:07] ---
    The Demon Sword has
    devoured many souls, correct?
[03:13] ---
    So I would've expected him to be
    well on his way to being a Kishin,
[03:17] ---
    but nothing could be
    farther from the truth.
[03:20] ---
    What do you mean?
[03:21] ---
    I don't understand how,
[03:24] ---
    but something's had a purifying
    effect on him, I guess you could say.
[03:30] ---
    What do you think, Sid?
[03:32] ---
    I haven't the slightest...
[03:34] ---
    But we should take into account
    what the Demon Sword has done.
[03:39] ---
    Even if he is a child,
    even if he was led by a witch,
[03:45] ---
    I think the standard harsh
    punishment for cases like this is in order.
[03:50] ---
    What shall we do?
[03:58] ---
    I dunno, so I'll put it off!
[04:04] ---
    "The Death Scythes Convene...
    Stop Dad's Staff Reassignment!!?"

[04:10] ---
    Hey! What's the big idea?!
[04:12] ---
    Just come on.
[04:13] ---
    I'm not coming anywhere!
[04:15] ---
    Lord Death told us to
    stay put until our injuries heal!
[04:18] ---
    Seriously, if you stay at
    home and never come out...
[04:24] ---
    mushrooms'll start
    growing out of your head!
[04:26] ---
    No, they won't!
[04:28] ---
    Just come on!
[04:29] ---
    Where to?
[04:31] ---
    A change of pace.
[04:33] ---
    Huh?
[04:35] ---
    Yo!
[04:42] ---
    Well, Sid?
[04:44] ---
    Including Spirit,
[04:46] ---
    how is the gathering of the
    eight Death Scythes coming along?
[04:49] ---
    Right, sir.
[04:50] ---
    It appears that Justin has just arrived.
[04:53] ---
    Counting the two that
    arrived earlier, there are four here.
[04:57] ---
    Then what are the other four up to?
[05:01] ---
    It looks like the ones in
    charge of Europe and West Asia
[05:04] ---
    are busy with work and can't make it.
[05:06] ---
    That's no good. What about the
    one in charge of South America?
[05:11] ---
    His growling and barking
    don't make any sense.
[05:13] ---
    How about Africa?
[05:15] ---
    Refuses to take our calls.
[05:21] ---
    Oh, well! We have half of
    them here, that's good enough!
[05:29] ---
    Ugh...
[05:32] ---
    No! No!
[05:35] ---
    What's wrong?
[05:36] ---
    I shouldn't be here now...
[05:40] ---
    This isn't where I should be...
[05:44] ---
    Don't be silly. The Kishin
    has revived, you know.
[05:48] ---
    What could possibly be more important?
[05:51] ---
    You're still young, Azusa.
    You wouldn't understand.
[05:55] ---
    I just want to get married and retire,
[05:57] ---
    but I still get left with
    tons of work to do...
[06:00] ---
    Doesn't that seem strange to you?!
[06:02] ---
    I think it's impressive.
[06:04] ---
    I utterly devote myself to men,
    but I always wind up being dumped.
[06:09] ---
    Perhaps your over-devotion
    puts pressure on them
[06:12] ---
    and causes them to run away?
[06:17] ---
    You don't understand the power of love!
[06:22] ---
    Y-You don't understand the
    power of your punches, Marie-senpai...
[06:25] ---
    S-Sorry...
[06:29] ---
    In any case, marriage being a
    woman's happiness is so old-fashioned.
[06:40] ---
    What's going on?
[06:42] ---
    I'm going to marry this toilet.
[06:46] ---
    After all, a toilet will accept
    anything and everything, you know?
[06:51] ---
    He's truly my ideal lover!
[06:56] ---
    But wouldn't it be annoying if
    the toilet seat were ever left up?!
[07:01] ---
    I can put up with that!
[07:03] ---
    Oh no! I have to stop her!
[07:06] ---
    Y-You know, sometimes even he'll sigh
[07:09] ---
    because he can't stand the pressure!
[07:13] ---
    He might even secretly leak
    somewhere without you knowing!
[07:17] ---
    H-How indecent...
[07:20] ---
    Unforgivable...
[07:22] ---
    You cheating bastard!
[07:25] ---
    Okay! Let's go see Lord Death now!
[07:29] ---
    Just as you'd expect of the "Pulverizer"...
[07:32] ---
    You won't be retiring any time soon!
[07:46] ---
    Need something?
[07:47] ---
    Yes. We need to go see Lord Death.
[07:52] ---
    I ain't goin'.
[07:54] ---
    Why not?
[07:56] ---
    Tell me, Stein.
[07:57] ---
    Why do you think Lord Death is
    gathering the other Death Scythes?
[08:02] ---
    Because the Kishin has revived
    and we need to come up with a plan.
[08:07] ---
    Nope! He totally plans to send
    me far away! A demotion transfer!
[08:12] ---
    Yeah?
[08:13] ---
    I mean, think about it!
[08:15] ---
    If I hadn't left his side, he
    could've used me to beat the Kishin!
[08:20] ---
    So you're polishing the candlesticks
    to earn some points with him?
[08:23] ---
    Something wrong with that?!
[08:25] ---
    Wow, you're dumb!
[08:29] ---
    Of course I'm desperate!
[08:32] ---
    I don't want my ex-wife
    to take custody of Maka...
[08:35] ---
    If Maka gets taken far away from me,
[08:37] ---
    it'll hardly seem like I'm her dad anymore!
[08:40] ---
    It already hardly seems that way.
[08:45] ---
    I see you're desperate
    enough to roll up your suit sleeves.
[08:48] ---
    That's right! And I can still
    roll 'em up ten more centimeters!
[08:52] ---
    It's Stein, your first love!
[08:55] ---
    Since when?
[08:58] ---
    Oh! Long time, no see!
[09:00] ---
    Hello.
[09:02] ---
    It's the monster!
[09:03] ---
    The King of Committee Chairmen!
[09:03] ---
    "The King of Committee Chairmen"
[09:07] ---
    For a brat, you sure were annoying!
[09:10] ---
    You always complained every
    time I tried to dismember a passerby.
[09:14] ---
    Uhh, I think anyone would.
[09:17] ---
    Wouldn't you say that the Kishin's revival
[09:19] ---
    was mainly a result of your blundering?
[09:22] ---
    D-Don't! Don't say that
    stuff to Lord Death!
[09:25] ---
    I don't know. I tend to speak my
    thoughts in a straightforward way.
[09:30] ---
    Come to think of it, Marie...
[09:32] ---
    Weren't you going to retire right
    after you became a Death Scythe?
[09:36] ---
    Don't remind me...
[09:39] ---
    All right! No more talking!
    Lord Death is waiting!
[09:43] ---
    Line up!
[09:45] ---
    At attention!
[09:48] ---
    Yep, there she goes...
[09:51] ---
    Oh, Lord!
[09:54] ---
    Why do You not give me Your words?
[09:58] ---
    Umm...
[10:00] ---
    Oh, how can this be?
[10:03] ---
    I am unable to hear Your voice...
[10:06] ---
    Uhh, actually...
[10:09] ---
    Take out your earphones!
[10:10] ---
    Huh?
[10:13] ---
    It's good to see you all again.
    Justin, at your service.
[10:20] ---
    Thank you for coming all this way!
[10:23] ---
    Now, then.
[10:24] ---
    I assume you already know
    why I've called you all to DWMA.
[10:30] ---
    Please no transfer! Please no transfer!
[10:35] ---
    The Kishin Asura's revival...
[10:38] ---
    I thought we might discuss
    this a little bit.
[10:42] ---
    However, though he may be the
    strongest, Asura is a scaredy-cat,
[10:45] ---
    so I can't imagine him
    making any moves so early on.
[10:49] ---
    What's most pressing
    now is not Asura's actions,
[10:54] ---
    but figuring out a strategy for
    the madness wavelengths he puts off.
[11:02] ---
    Stein. Could you explain
    about that briefly?
[11:06] ---
    Yes, sir.
[11:07] ---
    Can we consider the madness wavelengths
[11:09] ---
    to be the same as Asura's soul wavelengths?
[11:12] ---
    Yes, that's right. But they're
    wavelengths on a godly level.
[11:16] ---
    Do these madness wavelengths
    cause something to happen?
[11:19] ---
    As you know, all people
    possess some amount of madness.
[11:25] ---
    In my case, especially...
[11:28] ---
    Asura's madness wavelengths
[11:30] ---
    rouse the madness that
    sleeps deep in people's souls.
[11:36] ---
    The madness spreads like a disease.
[11:38] ---
    This is a certainty. I felt it
    myself the moment Asura revived.
[11:49] ---
    A madness infection?
    And it can affect anyone?
[11:54] ---
    No.
[11:55] ---
    I believe it might be relatively difficult
[11:58] ---
    for a person like Justin to be infected.
[12:01] ---
    Additionally, at the present stage,
[12:03] ---
    I find it unlikely that there will be
    an outbreak of madness
[12:07] ---
    that will involve average, regular people.
[12:10] ---
    Then, what problem does the madness pose?
[12:13] ---
    The revival and power-up of the wicked...
[12:16] ---
    Yes. I do love the idea of figuring
    a person out by examining them.
[12:20] ---
    It makes me want to dismember them.
[12:22] ---
    So?
[12:23] ---
    The awakening of dormant witches,
    due to the madness wavelengths...
[12:28] ---
    It's not just people. Major disasters
    and unusual weather phenomena...
[12:31] ---
    All sorts of horrors are possible.
[12:35] ---
    Meaning enemies who stayed
    quiet will start to take action?
[12:40] ---
    We're in this situation now
    because of the blundering of these two.
[12:44] ---
    Do you have any thoughts as to
    what should be done with them?
[12:47] ---
    W-Why, you...!
[12:50] ---
    Yes. Hmm...
[12:52] ---
    Please no transfer!
    Anything but reassignment!

[12:55] ---
    I'm thinking a very slight staff
    reassignment may be in order...
[12:59] ---
    What?!
[13:08] ---
    My happy life with my daughter...
    It's gone...
[13:12] ---
    Our future is gone...
[13:14] ---
    What am I supposed to tell Maka?
[13:17] ---
    I don't want to see the
    sad look on her face...
[13:20] ---
    No, no. You will still
    remain my weapon, Spirit.
[13:26] ---
    You don't mind using me?!
[13:28] ---
    You are the only one of the
    Death Scythes who is a Death Scythe.
[13:34] ---
    Have pride in yourself.
[13:36] ---
    Oh, Lord! You speak with such benevolence!
[13:40] ---
    Until now, I've sent you off to
    serve as Stein's temporary weapon,
[13:46] ---
    but from now on you mustn't
    leave DWMA, to the best of your ability.
[13:50] ---
    With pleasure!
[13:51] ---
    Also, I'm thinking of having
    one other Death Scythe remain here
[13:57] ---
    to help fortify DWMA.
[14:00] ---
    Marie. I'd like you to be Stein's partner.
[14:05] ---
    Huh? Me?
[14:07] ---
    You can't be serious...
[14:09] ---
    Please wait! I don't
    have the motivation for work!
[14:13] ---
    I even chose to be in charge of Oceania
[14:15] ---
    because it was peaceful
    and work would be easy...
[14:18] ---
    If I'm busy here at DWMA, it'll
    take me even longer to get married...
[14:23] ---
    It's okay. You have a tendency
    to get obsessed with tasks at hand.
[14:27] ---
    Don't remind me...
[14:29] ---
    Lord Death. What should I do?
[14:33] ---
    You will use your wide
    field of vision to locate Asura.
[14:38] ---
    You'll also take charge
    of Oceania in Marie's place.
[14:43] ---
    Yes, sir.
[14:44] ---
    As for you, Justin...
[14:48] ---
    Justin.
[14:56] ---
    Well, never mind Justin for now!
[14:59] ---
    DWMA is going to have
    to change somewhat now.
[15:03] ---
    It's going to be a savage
    but exciting life, though!
[15:08] ---
    Okay, dismissed.
[15:13] ---
    Oh, hold on, Spirit.
[15:16] ---
    Yes, sir?
[15:18] ---
    There's something I'd like
    to talk to you about.
[15:29] ---
    Alright! Let's play some basketball!
[15:31] ---
    Yeah!
[15:33] ---
    Hey, Maka! Let's play some basketball!
[15:36] ---
    Why? You said you were fine with
    me reading a book on the sidelines.
[15:40] ---
    That's the only reason I came.
[15:43] ---
    I lied.
[15:47] ---
    It's not my fault! Liz
    suddenly couldn't come!
[15:52] ---
    I don't know basketball's rules.
[15:55] ---
    Here. For your hair.
[15:57] ---
    I guess these teams are okay for now.
[16:00] ---
    Kid. Why couldn't Liz come?
[16:03] ---
    She said she would've broken the
    long nails she worked hard to grow.
[16:06] ---
    A regular ol' game would be boring.
[16:09] ---
    Whadya say the captain of the losing team
[16:11] ---
    has to do a punishment game?
[16:13] ---
    Sounds good to me! We accept!
[16:15] ---
    If we lose,
[16:17] ---
    we'll move the picture frames
    in Kid's place two centimeters.
[16:19] ---
    H-Hey, now!
[16:21] ---
    That would be funny!
[16:22] ---
    And if we lose, Captain Maka will
    go on a day-long date with her dad.
[16:27] ---
    Huh?!
[16:28] ---
    Hold on! That makes no sense!
    You’re the captain, Black☆Star!
[16:32] ---
    Of course you wanna be captain!
[16:35] ---
    I know, but I feel bad
    for forcing you to play!
[16:39] ---
    I don't like it, but I'll tearfully
    let you have the captain's seat!
[16:43] ---
    This is no time to turn honest!
[16:46] ---
    Plus, you are wearing the captain's cap!
[16:48] ---
    Huh?! That's what this is?!
[16:50] ---
    Damn! I wanna be captain!
[16:53] ---
    I'm offering to switch!
[16:56] ---
    Okay, here we go!
[16:58] ---
    Huh? Why is Soul passing
    to us? He's not on our team.
[17:02] ---
    Here.
[17:03] ---
    Huh? Why are we passing it back?
[17:06] ---
    Okay! Let's do it!
[17:08] ---
    Patty! Captain Maka! Zone defense!
[17:12] ---
    'Kay!
[17:13] ---
    Huh? What's a zone? Teach me the rules!
[17:17] ---
    Why did you suddenly start?! Stop, stop!
[17:21] ---
    I'll never find a husband in a
    place like this that's full of kids...
[17:32] ---
    Oh, nice shot!
[17:34] ---
    Are they DWMA students?
[17:36] ---
    Yes. They're your pupils starting tomorrow.
[17:41] ---
    Double dribble on Maka!
[17:44] ---
    Geez! Come on, Captain!
[17:47] ---
    Huh? What's a double
    dribble? It sounds kind of cool...
[17:53] ---
    Alright!
[17:55] ---
    I don't have a boyfriend,
[17:57] ---
    but I guess I can do some
    work before I get married!
[18:00] ---
    Oh, right!
[18:02] ---
    Everything's happened so quickly,
[18:03] ---
    so let me stay at your
    place until I find an apartment!
[18:07] ---
    That's fine, but don't blame
    me if you wind up dismembered.
[18:10] ---
    I have total faith in you!
[18:13] ---
    Do you need me for something?
[18:15] ---
    Actually, it's about Stein...
[18:20] ---
    It looks like he's realized it himself,
[18:24] ---
    but the madness is taking control of him...
[18:27] ---
    That's why you assigned Marie to him?
[18:29] ---
    Marie's soul wavelength should
    have a positive effect on his soul.
[18:37] ---
    So, Spirit. Might I ask you
    to keep an eye on Stein, too?
[18:44] ---
    Yes, sir.
[18:48] ---
    Sheesh...
[18:50] ---
    He never ceases to be a
    troublesome junior...

[18:55] ---
    Hey.
[18:57] ---
    Oh, Spirit!
[18:58] ---
    Pass! Pass!
[19:00] ---
    What are they doing? Didn't
    we tell them to stay put at home?
[19:04] ---
    Kids have it nice, being so carefree...
[19:11] ---
    I wouldn't say they're carefree.
[19:14] ---
    After being in that messed-up place,
[19:16] ---
    they're just trying to regain
    normalcy in their own way now.
[19:21] ---
    Game set! 20 to 4! Maka's team loses!
[19:26] ---
    --I never figured out the rules...
[19:26] ---
    --Punishment game! Punishment game!
[19:30] ---
    Punishment game! Punishment game!
[19:32] ---
    Whew, what a relief...
[19:34] ---
    Let's call the punishment game off...
[19:37] ---
    I don't know, this doesn't seem
    to have that much more normalcy
[19:42] ---
    than that underground battle...
[19:45] ---
    Yeesh. You just don't
    understand things like that.
[19:54] ---
    Oh? What's going on, Maka?
[19:57] ---
    U-Umm, well, Dad...
[20:00] ---
    W-Want to have a date this Sunday?
[20:13] ---
    And there I was worrying I'd
    get sent to the middle of nowhere!
[20:16] ---
    Which do you want,
    Dad? Strawberry or banana?
[20:20] ---
    "Gorilla" "Buffalo!"
[20:20] ---
    Hey, Dad. Which do you think
    looks better on me?
[20:24] ---
    It's getting cold out.
[20:25] ---
    Thanks, Dad! It's nice and warm!
[20:27] ---
    I-I never imagined such
    abnormalcy would come flying my way!
[20:32] ---
    Dad?
[20:37] ---
    Hey, Dad! Are you okay?!
[20:42] ---
    Sorry! I was just so happy!
[20:46] ---
    Hang on! I'll go get some stomach medicine!
[20:48] ---
    No, that's okay! I'm fine!
[20:51] ---
    How humiliating...
[20:54] ---
    Happy-barfing.
[20:56] ---
    I don't understand that, either.
[21:02] ---
    Lord Death.
[21:05] ---
    You put it off last time, but how
    shall we deal with the Demon Sword?
[21:09] ---
    All right. We will enroll
    him at DWMA as a special case!
[21:14] ---
    Are you serious?!
[21:16] ---
    I am serious.
[21:18] ---
    I'm not joking around with you.
[21:22] ---
    The boy does have issues.
[21:25] ---
    But if we can guide him carefully,
[21:30] ---
    he will make a great DWMA ally.
[21:34] ---
    However, he's still in no
    condition to enroll in school.
[21:39] ---
    Indeed.
[21:40] ---
    In that case, for now...
[21:43] ---
    he'll start a trial enrollment
    at DWMA starting tomorrow!
[21:57] ---
    Hajimaru yo Kimi to boku wo
[22:01] ---
    tsunagu tobira nokku sureba
[22:05] ---
    donna mirai ga bokura wo matte iru no?
[22:13] ---
    Otona ga sou motomeru no wa
[22:18] ---
    kanpeki na sutairu
[22:21] ---
    itsuka haguruma no you ni
[22:25] ---
    subete ga kasanaru you ni
[22:31] ---
    Kamisama iru nara kiite yo
[22:35] ---
    Itsuitsu made mo kono shunkan
[22:39] ---
    ripiito dekinai mainichi wo
[22:45] ---
    miokuranakucha
[22:48] ---
    Dakara ato mou sukoshi dake tte
[22:52] ---
    kodomo de itai
[22:54] ---
    boys & girls ga nannin mo
[22:58] ---
    kono yo ni kakurehisonde
    wa yume wo mite iru

[23:05] ---
    tte iu sutorii
[23:18] ---
    It connects!
[23:19] ---
    Yes. All the seemingly unrelated
    incidents have connected now.

[23:23] ---
    No, not that!
[23:24] ---
    Are you referring to the
    virus-immunity relationship?

[23:26] ---
    No!
[23:26] ---
    The link between global warming
    and the polar bears' ecosystem?

[23:29] ---
    No!
[23:30] ---
    Then...
[23:31] ---
    You're getting on my nerves!
    I'll just say it!

[23:34] ---
    We're walking on thin
    ice that's barely connected!

[23:36] ---
    Umm, Azusa?
[23:37] ---
    Next time on Soul Eater, episode 26:
[23:40] ---
    "The Exciting and Embarrassing
    Trial Enrollment!"

[23:42] ---
    "The DWMA New Lifestyle
    Support Fair is Open?"

[23:44] ---
    Bullying is uncool!