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E3 - The Perfect Boy – Death the Kid's Magnificent Mission?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] ---
    A sound "soul"
[00:17] ---
    dwells within a sound mind
[00:19] ---
    and a sound body.
[00:24] ---
    Death Weapon Meister Academy...
[00:39] ---
    popularly known as the DWMA.
[00:43] ---
    It is an institution to
    train weapons and meisters,
[00:48] ---
    established by Death, to prevent Kishins,
[00:51] ---
    the demon gods who plunged the
    entire world into the depths of terror,
[00:59] ---
    drove people into a maelstrom of madness,
[01:02] ---
    and nearly destroyed everything,
[01:04] ---
    from ever being born again.
[01:06] ---
    The gist of it is, it's an
    organization of justice, to keep the peace.
[01:11] ---
    Why is it a technical school, anyway?
[01:12] ---
    "DWMA"
[01:15] ---
    Oh well. Now then,
[01:17] ---
    let's all get ourselves
    duly keyed up, and get going!
[01:37] ---
    If the lamps of linked souls
[01:40] ---
    point to your heart,
[01:42] ---
    do you hear the echoes now,
[01:45] ---
    stronger than words?
[02:00] ---
    We barely ever look each other in the eye,
[02:02] ---
    yet our very fates are becoming entwined
[02:06] ---
    Our destinations overlap completely,
[02:08] ---
    so run with me through the slippery night
[02:12] ---
    Though the glare that
    comes from being too tenacious

[02:17] ---
    may carry over into bad dreams
[02:23] ---
    If the lamps of linked souls
[02:26] ---
    point to your heart,
[02:29] ---
    do you hear the echoes now,
[02:32] ---
    stronger than words?
[02:35] ---
    The reasons why we ever met don't matter
[02:38] ---
    We are drawn together
[02:40] ---
    The more we are hurt
    in the moments we touch,

[02:44] ---
    the clearer things become
[03:37] ---
    It's over, Lupin.
[03:48] ---
    Master Thief Lupin, we
    are here to recover your soul,
[03:53] ---
    which has turned into a Kishin egg!
[04:01] ---
    Hey, Patty! You're standing
    a little bit off your mark!
[04:05] ---
    Oops.
[04:07] ---
    Sorry.
[04:10] ---
    Hey, Kid, this is no time to
    be going on about that, right?
[04:14] ---
    I want to be precise and
    exact at all times.
[04:16] ---
    Yeah, but at the moment...
[04:21] ---
    --The master thief is bouncing.
[04:21] ---
    --Aren't I always saying,
    my aesthetic is symmetric?
[04:24] ---
    --Symmetry is the greatest beauty.
[04:26] ---
    --He got away, he got away!
[04:27] ---
    Can't you listen precisely
    and exactly when I'm talking?!
[04:31] ---
    Okay, okay.
[04:32] ---
    "Symmetry left-right balance"
[04:34] ---
    Symmetry... that is my aesthetic.
[04:37] ---
    So it begins.
[04:39] ---
    That is why I always use
    you two paired pistols.
[04:43] ---
    When I hold you, you are
    symmetrical, right?
[04:46] ---
    On the other hand, when you are human,
[04:48] ---
    your hairstyles and
    heights are both different...
[04:54] ---
    and the sizes of your breasts
    are different, too, aren't they?!
[04:57] ---
    Well excuse me for being
    smaller than my little sister!
[05:00] ---
    And what do you mean, symmetry?!
[05:02] ---
    The three stripes that are
    only on the left half of your hair
[05:05] ---
    aren't at all symmetrical, are they?!
[05:09] ---
    How can this be?! I'm a hideous swine!
[05:13] ---
    Why is my hair colored like this?!
    I'm a scruffy, trash heap of a person!
[05:18] ---
    Damn it, I'm hopeless! I could die!
[05:21] ---
    Ugh, there he goes again.
[05:24] ---
    Patty...
[05:25] ---
    Right.
[05:26] ---
    You are the next generation
    of shinigami, right?
[05:29] ---
    Who cares about those three stripes?
[05:31] ---
    Kid, you're not a pig.
[05:34] ---
    Pigs go "meow!"
[05:36] ---
    So you hang in there.
[05:38] ---
    You mean, I'm not a trash heap of a person?
[05:41] ---
    No, of course not.
[05:43] ---
    Trash goes "oink!"
[05:45] ---
    Well then, let's go report to my father.
[05:48] ---
    I can't tell if he's easy
    to manipulate, or hard.

[05:51] ---
    This is why I hate trust fund kids.
[06:04] ---
    Howdy-ho!
[06:07] ---
    Those three stripes
    in your hair are as cute as ever.
[06:12] ---
    Father, I don't appreciate the attention.
[06:16] ---
    Best to steer clear of that topic.
[06:20] ---
    Well, no matter, I guess.
    It appears that your recovery of souls
[06:24] ---
    that have turned into
    Kishin eggs is going smoothly.
[06:26] ---
    And Kid, you are a
    shinigami, so it's not as though
[06:29] ---
    you have to collect souls
    and raise a weapon, after all.
[06:33] ---
    I want to make my own
    weapon exactingly, for myself.
[06:38] ---
    You have two weapons,
    so you need twice as many souls.
[06:42] ---
    Liz and Patty, you hang in there, too.
[06:45] ---
    You bet!
[06:46] ---
    That's why I'd like to
    collect all my souls in one shot.
[06:50] ---
    Do you know of any good targets?
[06:52] ---
    Ah, if that's the case,
[06:55] ---
    what do you think about this?
[07:04] ---
    I wonder what's up.
[07:05] ---
    Hey, Soul, Maka!
[07:07] ---
    Ah, morning.
[07:09] ---
    Good morning.
[07:12] ---
    Has something happened?
[07:14] ---
    Oh, you don't know? Everyone
    at the academy is talking about it.
[07:20] ---
    They're just now being
    taken aback by my bigness?
[07:23] ---
    "Working"
[07:24] ---
    No! It's that, over there.
[07:32] ---
    "The Perfect Boy...
    Death the Kid's Magnificent Mission?"

[07:37] ---
    There's a pyramid in the
    scorching country of Egypt,
[07:40] ---
    the ancient ruins of Anubis...
[07:44] ---
    There's a necromantic witch
    there, who is bringing back to life
[07:48] ---
    the many mummies
    that are buried inside.
[07:51] ---
    Night after night, she walks
    the mummies out in procession,
[07:53] ---
    feeding them on the souls of people.
[07:55] ---
    Necromancers are a lot of trouble.
[07:58] ---
    She creates the mummies, and
    the mummies then attack people,
[08:01] ---
    providing her with new material.
[08:03] ---
    She's increasing her forces geometrically.
[08:07] ---
    The Pyramid of Anubis, huh?
[08:09] ---
    The architecture of that era
    was based on symmetry. Very nice.
[08:14] ---
    Actually, I was thinking of
    assigning a three-star meister to this.
[08:19] ---
    Not to worry, Father.
[08:22] ---
    I get to see some ruins, and put
    down a witch. I'm going to enjoy it.

[08:28] ---
    Hey, Black☆Star,
[08:31] ---
    you're wondering who
    took it on, too, right?
[08:34] ---
    You bet I am. Not so
    much about the job and such,
[08:37] ---
    but I don't like that someone
    has the nerve to outshine me!
[08:41] ---
    Well, that settles it.
[08:42] ---
    Yeah!
[08:44] ---
    Ah, hold on, you two!
[09:05] ---
    Wow, what wonderful symmetry...
[09:13] ---
    Staying as a weapon so
    long makes my neck stiff.
[09:16] ---
    It's huge!
[09:20] ---
    Still, it's a little dusty.
[09:22] ---
    Hey, let's hurry on inside!
[09:25] ---
    Something really feels
    off here, doesn't it?
[09:28] ---
    It's okay, it's okay. Let's go, let's go!
[09:31] ---
    My eyes are itching.
[09:35] ---
    It's marvelous on the inside, too.
[09:38] ---
    Oh, man... I don't
    handle places like this so well...
[09:43] ---
    Hey, Sis,
[09:45] ---
    in my thinking, if your eyes
    stopped working when you blinked,
[09:48] ---
    no one would blink their eyes. Why is that?
[09:51] ---
    Well, because they wouldn't
    want to not be able to see, right?
[09:55] ---
    That's why eye drops sell so
    well when people have dry eyes.
[10:01] ---
    Then we'll have to go steal a
    whole bunch of eye drops, huh?
[10:04] ---
    Before you do, remember,
[10:05] ---
    your eyes don't stop
    working when you blink, right?
[10:07] ---
    Oh, right!
[10:09] ---
    Sis, you're so smart!
[10:13] ---
    What's the matter, Kid?
    You're sure keeping quiet.
[10:17] ---
    Hm? Oh, maybe it's just my imagination,
[10:20] ---
    but I think the picture
    frame in the foyer of my house
[10:23] ---
    is leaning a little to the right.
[10:26] ---
    That doesn't matter right now, does it?!
[10:28] ---
    Yes, it does matter! Ah, what do I do?!
[10:32] ---
    It's like everything has gone negative!
[10:34] ---
    Damn! It's no use! I'm going to go check!
[10:36] ---
    Wait! Wait!
[10:37] ---
    Wait, wait, wait!
[10:39] ---
    You're taking your neurosis too far!
[10:40] ---
    --Ah, it bothers me...
[10:42] ---
    --You can check your frame once you get home!
[10:44] ---
    --Ah, it bothers me...
[10:45] ---
    --It doesn't bother you!
    It doesn't bother you!
[10:45] ---
    --Ah, it bothers me...
    ah, it bothers me so much...
[10:48] ---
    Would you shut up, you trust fund kid?!
[10:50] ---
    Ah, it bothers me...
[10:55] ---
    M-Mummies! They're mummies, Patty!
[11:05] ---
    Th-They're kind of cute, huh?
[11:09] ---
    Give me your soul!
[11:12] ---
    It licked me! It licked me!
    It licked me! It licked me!
[11:15] ---
    Yuckums! Yuckums! Yuckums!!
[11:18] ---
    Gross! Gross!
[11:20] ---
    Now you've gone and done it.
[11:22] ---
    Patty, let's transform!
[11:24] ---
    Right!
[11:25] ---
    Kid, here we go!
[11:29] ---
    Huh...?
[11:30] ---
    Huh...?
[11:35] ---
    Liz and Patty,
[11:37] ---
    I just can't help thinking
    about it, so I'm going home now.

[11:41] ---
    It's dark, so be sure to watch your step.
[11:44] ---
    Death the Kid
[11:45] ---
    You're kidding me, right?!
[11:49] ---
    Patty!
[11:49] ---
    Right!
[11:58] ---
    Stay back!
[12:05] ---
    Hey! Don't stick me inside its mouth!
[12:08] ---
    Sorry.
[12:21] ---
    My heart, within me...
[12:24] ---
    My heart, within my image...
[12:28] ---
    Pharaoh, return to life!
[12:36] ---
    Wrath of the pharaoh...
[12:45] ---
    He caught me!
[12:47] ---
    He's pulling me!
[12:48] ---
    He's going to eat me!
[12:57] ---
    Trifle with the souls
    of my people, will you?
[13:01] ---
    Accept the wrath of the pharaoh!
[13:14] ---
    Geez, where did those two go?
[13:38] ---
    Hmm, I guess it was
    my imagination after all.
[13:41] ---
    Outstanding. Now then,
    Liz and Patty are waiting for me.
[13:46] ---
    Guess I'll go back.
[13:49] ---
    We've recovered all of the mummy souls.
[13:55] ---
    Did you divide them exactly half and half?
[13:57] ---
    Mm-hmm. If we don't divide them exactly,
[13:59] ---
    Kid will be depressed, after all.
[14:05] ---
    It's so creepy. I hear some sort
    of weird voice coming from inside.
[14:09] ---
    What could it be?
[14:10] ---
    Let's go, let's go.
[14:11] ---
    Let's wait until Kid gets here!
[14:13] ---
    It's all right. My sister is with us.
[14:18] ---
    You're kidding me...
[14:23] ---
    It's coming from in there, huh?
[14:26] ---
    Quietly, quietly...
[14:29] ---
    Roger, roger...
[14:31] ---
    Knock off the whining, would you?!
[14:34] ---
    Patty...!
[14:36] ---
    Don't make your big sister cry!
[14:41] ---
    I'm leftovers.
[14:51] ---
    What are you guys up to?
    The bell has already rung.
[14:55] ---
    What about you? You're a homeroom teacher,
[14:57] ---
    and you're getting ready
    to go somewhere, aren't you?
[14:59] ---
    I have a little errand to run.
[15:01] ---
    Appearances to the
    contrary, I am a busy man.
[15:04] ---
    Well then, before you go, there's
    something we need you to tell us.
[15:09] ---
    Who was it that took
    on the Anubis ruins job?
[15:12] ---
    Oh, it wasn't one of our
    students that took that one.
[15:16] ---
    It's a little too much for
    one of the students to handle.
[15:19] ---
    Then, who was it?
[15:21] ---
    Lord Death’s son.
[15:23] ---
    Sir Death’s...
[15:25] ---
    son?
[15:27] ---
    Seriously?
[15:28] ---
    I'm not the kind of man who tells lies.
[15:32] ---
    Lord Death’s son.
[15:35] ---
    His name is Death the Kid.
[15:39] ---
    We meet again, Anubis.
[15:42] ---
    Every time I see you, you look fantastic.
[15:54] ---
    Are you...?!
[15:57] ---
    Outstanding symmetry!
[16:00] ---
    How wonderful!
[16:02] ---
    No...
[16:06] ---
    You disgust me!
[16:11] ---
    How utterly unpleasant.
[16:16] ---
    Liz! Patty!
[16:20] ---
    Kid?
[16:35] ---
    Sorry to intrude.
[16:36] ---
    Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
[16:44] ---
    What is this?
[16:46] ---
    Both of you, change into guns, right now.
[16:48] ---
    Our power is drained when
    these bandages are touching us.
[16:51] ---
    What?
[16:52] ---
    Tornado Flip!
[16:57] ---
    All right!
[16:58] ---
    Transform!
[17:04] ---
    The soul of a pharaoh, huh?
[17:07] ---
    You're mine!
[17:12] ---
    Hey, Kid! Are you okay?!
[17:25] ---
    What are you doing, Kid?!
    This isn't like you!
[17:31] ---
    Take a good look at him.
[17:34] ---
    He's...
[17:38] ---
    marvelously symmetrical!
[17:41] ---
    Huh?!
[17:44] ---
    Kid!
[17:50] ---
    Symmetry doesn't matter
    at a time like this, right?!
[17:54] ---
    You're gonna get killed at this rate!
[17:58] ---
    You were going to use us,
[17:59] ---
    and become an impeccable
    shinigami, weren't you?!
[18:09] ---
    Aw, damn.
[18:14] ---
    I can't shoot him.
[18:17] ---
    Kid!
[18:18] ---
    Kid!
[18:19] ---
    Wrath of the pharaoh!
[18:21] ---
    Wrath! Wrath!
[18:24] ---
    Wrath! Wrath! Wrath! Wrath! Wrath!
[18:30] ---
    Wrath!
[18:31] ---
    Wrath! Wrath! Wrath! Wrath!
[18:40] ---
    I'll finish you off personally.
[18:55] ---
    Right...
[18:56] ---
    Left...
[18:58] ---
    Right...
[18:59] ---
    Left...
[19:00] ---
    Right...
[19:10] ---
    He's all scrambled up, isn't he?!
[19:13] ---
    It's all over now.
[19:17] ---
    What is with you?
[19:19] ---
    Your right and left sides are all jumbled!
[19:21] ---
    I've never seen anything so jumbled before.
[19:23] ---
    Where did you come from?
    Are you a citizen of Jumble Island?
[19:29] ---
    You disgust me!
[19:31] ---
    Everything but your forehead, anyhow.
[19:33] ---
    What an impediment!
    Who'd want all that ornamentation?
[19:36] ---
    You're all kinds of unwanted!
    An impediment!
[19:39] ---
    Impediment!
[19:40] ---
    Impediment! Impediment!
    Impediment! Impediment!
[19:42] ---
    Impediment!
[19:44] ---
    All of it's an impediment!
[19:58] ---
    I can't allow you to be.
[20:04] ---
    There were an uneven
    number of souls this time,
[20:06] ---
    so I got one more than you.
[20:08] ---
    Damn it, this is insufferable.
    On to the next one!
[20:11] ---
    Right!
[20:12] ---
    I have to ask, though,
    what was the deal with the way
[20:15] ---
    that pharaoh was all jumbled up?
[20:18] ---
    Whatever the case, we say a last
    farewell to the beautiful Anubis.
[20:30] ---
    --It got all broken! Awesome!
[20:31] ---
    -How could that happen...?
[20:32] ---
    With all the rampaging we did?
[20:35] ---
    I am an unmitigated swine!
    A trash heap of a person!
[20:39] ---
    That's why Anubis has turned to trash!
[20:41] ---
    Damn it, I'm hopeless! I could die!
[20:43] ---
    --Don't get so down on yourself.
[20:44] ---
    --I could die...
[20:45] ---
    --I could die... I could die...
    I could die...
[20:45] ---
    --Everyone breaks a pyramid or two.
[20:48] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[20:50] ---
    Oh, you guys...
[20:54] ---
    Why aren't your breasts the same size?!
[20:58] ---
    "Completed"
[21:04] ---
    As punishment for destroying the pyramid,
[21:07] ---
    you have to forfeit all
    the souls you've collected.
[21:10] ---
    Damn it, I'm hopeless! I could die!
[21:13] ---
    The scythemeister Maka, and her partner,
[21:16] ---
    the magic scythe, Soul Eater.
[21:22] ---
    The assassin Black☆Star,
[21:25] ---
    and the magic dark arm, Tsubaki.
[21:30] ---
    Lord Death’s son, Death the Kid,
[21:33] ---
    and his pair of pistols,
    the Thompson sisters.

[21:40] ---
    The prologues are over.
[21:42] ---
    And now, the story begins.
[21:47] ---
    The stardust twinkles
[21:54] ---
    Star of my dreams
[22:00] ---
    I wanna be
[22:03] ---
    Let's go Let's go
[22:09] ---
    Let's go!
[22:16] ---
    I
[22:17] ---
    Wanna
[22:19] ---
    I wanna be (1-2-3-4!)
[22:21] ---
    The world is covered in blackness,
[22:26] ---
    but my breath is still white
[22:32] ---
    Ever since that day we promised
[22:34] ---
    to go smash up the present
[22:37] ---
    I'm sure we can still make it in time
[22:43] ---
    I wanna be
[22:45] ---
    counted together
[22:48] ---
    with pallid hopelessness
[22:53] ---
    Screaming out
[22:56] ---
    and run through
[22:58] ---
    before everything changes
[23:04] ---
    I
[23:06] ---
    Wanna
[23:07] ---
    I wanna be
[23:18] ---
    Hey, Soul, what's the meaning of this?
[23:20] ---
    Shut up. How am I supposed to know?
[23:23] ---
    Unlike you and Black☆Star,
    I'm an honors student.

[23:26] ---
    I do all of my lesson
    prep, and my homework!

[23:28] ---
    I'm begging you, stick me
    with anyone but Black☆Star.

[23:30] ---
    Impossible! This must be some mistake!
[23:32] ---
    Please, someone say it isn't so!
[23:33] ---
    Oh, pipe down. Who cares?
    It's just remedial work.

[23:37] ---
    Don't say "remedial"!
[23:39] ---
    Next time on Soul Eater, episode 4:
[23:41] ---
    "Engage the Witch Hunter!
    A Remedial Lesson in the Graveyard?"

[23:44] ---
    Your soul is mine!