E9 - It Just Ain't Gonna Happen

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    * D i s c l a i m e r
SIGN    Many scenes in this program will appear to present a biased view of the people of Nagoya and the surrounding region. Please bear in mind that these scenes are strictly the opinions of the characters and may not represent reality, and enjoy it as a program filled with love for Nagoya.
SIGN    Hotter Than the Summer Sun
     Couples Photo Contest
SIGN    Top Prize:
    150,000 Yen
SIGN    "It Just Ain't Gonna Happen"
[00:02] Na
    Sasatsu, Yatogame, and Tadakusa
    decided to enter a photo contest,
[00:07] Na
    but it wasn't going well...
    and now it's Sasatsu's turn.
[00:11] Yanna
    I can't do this! Dates ain't my thing!
[00:14] Yato
    Just quit the club.
[00:14] Yanna
    But after I made Monaka
    and Mai do all that...
[00:17] Mai
    How disappointing.
[00:18] Yanna
    I can't admit defeat! I gotta do it!
[00:23] Mai
    Prez, you're bow-legged!
[00:25] Mai
    Don't carry your bag like that!
[00:27] Yanna
    That Mai's so naggy.
[00:29] Jin
    Look who's talking.
[00:31] Jin
    Oh, look! A beluga!
[00:32] Yanna
    Right! This is it!
[00:33] Yanna
    How kyoote!
[00:36] Yanna
    Y'know, I wish I could be a beluga!
[00:40] Jin
    Now I feel sick...
[00:42] Yanna
    You wanna die?
[00:43] Mai
    Prez, we'll never win the contest this way.
SIGN    Top Prize:
    150,000 Yen
SIGN    Hotter Than the Summer Sun
     Couples Photo Contest
[00:47] Mai
    I'll give you two one chance.
[00:49] Yato
    Yep.
[00:50] Mai
    You'll compete against the two
    of us in a quiz contest.
SIGN    Learn More About Killer Whales and Dolphins
[00:53] Mai
    If you two lose, you have to address
    each other with nicknames!
[00:57] Both
    What?!
[00:58] Yato
    I've been to this aquarium
    tons of times. This'll be easy!
SIGN    Learn More About Killer Whales and Dolphins
SIGN    Touch your choice
SIGN    For Kids
SIGN    For Adults
[01:01] Jin
    That's not fair!
SIGN    Question
SIGN    What other name does the common bottlenose
     dolphin go by?
SIGN    Answer
SIGN    Sorry,
     that's incorrect.
SIGN    False Killer Whale
[01:04] Yato
    Wha?!
[01:05] Mai
    Yatogame-chan!
SIGN    Got 2 out of 10 correct
[01:06] Jin
    All right! Yatogame's hatred
    of studying worked for us!
[01:09] Yanna
    We can win!
[01:10] Yanna
    Yatogame chose a question meant for adults,
SIGN    Learn More About Killer Whales and Dolphins
SIGN    Touch your choice
SIGN    For Kids
SIGN    For Adults
[01:13] Yanna
    so let's pick one for kids.
[01:14] Jin
    That's my President Sasatsu!
    No pride at all!
SIGN    Question
SIGN    Why can't killer whales
    and dolphins live above ground?
SIGN    Can't breathe
SIGN    Too hot
[01:17] Jin
    The difficulty's the same!
    It just has cuter pictures!
SIGN    The sun is too bright, so they can't see.
SIGN    Glance Glance
SIGN    Sorry,
     that's incorrect.
SIGN    Answer
SIGN    2 correct answers
[01:21] Mai
    Well, we won. You have to
    give each other nicknames!
SIGN    0 correct answers
SIGN    J
    i
    n
    
    K
    a
    i
    t
    o
[01:25] Yanna
    Ka... Kakkun.
SIGN    K
    a
    k
    k
    u
    n
    ♥
SIGN    S
    a
    s
    a
    t
    s
    u
    
    Y
    a
    n
    n
    a
[01:27] Jin
    Ya... Yan-nyan.
SIGN    Yan-nyan
[01:29] Jin
    Please just kill me!
[01:32] Mai
    Prez, let's just give up
    on the photo contest.
[01:35] Yanna
    Not yet!
[01:36] Yanna
    This just means all four of us
    gotta go on a date together!
[01:38] Three
    Huh?!
[01:45] Yanna
    Well, I'm satisfied!
[01:46] Jin
    I feel like all we really did was have fun.
[01:49] Mai
    Also, when we're all on a date together,
    there's no one to take pictures.
[01:53] Yanna
    Whoops.
[01:54] Yanna
    Well, whatever. It's closin' time, anyway.
[01:56] Yato
    What're ya talkin' about?
SIGN    Normal Hours
SIGN    Summer • Golden Week
SIGN    ° Hours are subject to change.
    Please check the official website to make sure.
[01:57] Yato
    It's open through the evening
    for Summer Night Aquarium.
[02:01] Yato
    And the highlight is, of course...
[02:03] Yato
    The night dolphin performance!
[02:05] Jin
    Wow!
[02:06] Jin
    The pool is huge!
[02:08] Jin
    Tokyo only has small, indoor pools,
[02:10] Jin
    so I've never seen a dolphin show
    where they can move so freely.
[02:13] Yato
    It ain't a show. It's a performance.
[02:15] Yato
    It ain't like the man-made ones in Tokyo.
[02:17] Jin
    Oh, uh... okay.
[02:18] Jin
    Look, a dolphin's coming this way!
[02:20] Yanna
    Oh, yeah!
[02:23] Mai
    Careful. There's a chance you'll
    get splashed in these seats.
[02:26] Jin
    Tell us that sooner!
[02:27] Jin
    You okay, Sasatsu?
[02:29] Yanna
    You're soaked! What a dork!
[02:31] Jin
    Wha... You're soaked, too!
[02:33] Yanna
    C'mon, Monaka and Mai!
    You're goin' down with me!
[02:34] Mai
    No! Stop!
[02:36] Jin
    Get 'em, Sasatsu!
SIGN    You Can Do It, Rara-chan!
[02:38] Voices
    You Can Do It, Rara-chan!
[02:40] Rara
    Aw, this bar doesn't have Shizuoka-wari.
[02:43] Rika
    Shizuoka-wari? Is that a discount?
[02:45] Rara
    It's shochu diluted with green tea.
SIGN    Sad
[02:48] Rara
    I guess they don't have that in Aichi.
[02:50] Guy
    Oh, in that case, here.
    Shochu with green tea.
[02:53] Rara
    I can barely taste the tea.
SIGN    Geh...
[02:55] Rara
    It's delicious.
[02:57] Guy
    Anyone ever tell you you're a terrible liar?
SIGN    Yatogame-chan
    Kansatsu Nikki
    Volume 3!!!