5 - HAPPY and Beautiful

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] shi
    --
[00:00] sign
    --
[00:00] masa
    --
SIGN    HAPPY and Beautiful
SIGN    
    Binan High School
[01:42] kiri
    Isn't that funny?
[01:47] kiri
    What's with the line?
[01:49] shu
    Dunno.
[01:52] shu
    Sleepy...
[01:53] dogo
    Senpai, senpai, senpai, senpai!
[01:55] dogo
    Good morning!
[01:58] kiri
    The morning screamer has arrived.
[02:01] ban
    Senpai. Good morning.
[02:05] dogo
    What's all this?
[02:07] wa
    Hey.
[02:09] wa
    Ryoma-kun, these are for you.
[02:11] kiri
    Cookies!
[02:14] kiri
    Thank y—
[02:16] kiri
    Y—
[02:17] kiri
    Y—
[02:18] dogo
    Nanao-senpai. You're teasing Ryoma-senpai again.
[02:23] wak
    You really want them?
[02:25] kiri
    I do!
[02:26] wak
    Here you go, then.
[02:28] kiri
    Hooray!
[02:29] dogo
    But why do you have cookies?
[02:31] wak
    They're handing them out up there,
    so I picked up a pack.
SIGN    Maasa Sweets Festival
[02:44] ma
    Here, a present for you!
[02:46] ma
    Thank you so much!
[02:51] ma
    For you, too.
[02:52] ma
    Handmade cookies using
    Maasa's special recipe!
[02:56] ma
    Th-Thank you so much!
[03:01] kiri
    Maasa Sweets Festival?
[03:04] kiri
    You mean... these are...
[03:05] man
    They're most likely...
[03:06] man
    No, they're definitely cookies handmade
    by Shirahone Maasa of the student council.
[03:13] man
    But why a sweets festival?
[03:16] shu
    Dunno. No interest in it.
[03:20] shu
    Hey, Kyotaro...
[03:23] mas
    "Maasa Sweets Festival"
    is just a lot of kidding.
[03:26] mas
    It's really...
[03:28] mas
    Hey!
SIGN    Maasa Sweets Festival For lunch, too!
[03:37] mas
    Don't worry, there's enough
     here for everyone!
[03:40] mas
    Go ahead and eat your fill!
[03:43] mas
    You can have some, too.
SIGN    Sujikawa Honeo
[03:47] suji
    Thank you very much.
[03:49] mas
    I made a special cupcake just for you, too.
[03:52] mas
    It's one of my special sweets,
    packed with Echire butter imported from France.
[03:58] mas
    Now, I'll top it with fresh cream...
[04:02] stu
    Who is that guy?
[04:03] stu
    That's Sujikawa.
[04:04] stu
    The guy we call "chicken carcass."
[04:06] stu
    Oh, chicken carcass.
[04:09] masa
    Be quiet.
[04:11] masa
    It's not nice to say that stuff.
[04:14] suji
    He defended me!
[04:16] suji
    Well, see you later, Sujikawa-kun.
[04:18] suji
    R-Right...
[04:20] suji
    Okay, now! Don't worry,
     there's plenty for all you guys, too!
[04:27] una
    Maasa... what's he thinking?
[04:30] suji
    It's probably all full of sugar and fat...
[04:31] ata
    Well, that explains it.
[04:34] suji
    Surely, if I eat this...
[04:38] stu
    Me too, me too, me too!
[04:45] una
    Are you okay?
[04:47] suji
    Y-Yes...
[04:49] suji
    I'm sorry.
[04:53] una
    They call him chicken carcass, but...
[04:56] una
    He looks like all the stock's
    been boiled out of him already.
[05:01] fura
    Sniff, sniff, sniff...
[05:03] fura
    I smell the stench of unhappiness again.
[05:06] fura
    From that direction...
[05:07] fura
    No... from this direction, too?
SIGN    Maasa Sweets Festival
[05:15] shu
    You know about genetic testing?
[05:17] dogo
    What about genetic testing?
[05:18] kiri
    Kyotaro, where did that come from?
[05:21] shu
    You think it's really accurate?
[05:23] man
    Yeah. Genetic research has been
    making great strides of late.
[05:29] kiri
    What kinds of things can it tell us?
[05:31] man
    Diseases you're prone to, facial structure,
[05:34] man
    whether you're predisposed
    to putting on weight or not...
[05:37] man
    They can read all that
    from your genetic makeup.
[05:41] dogo
    Wow, wow, wow! I wanna try it!
[05:44] man
    You'd better not.
[05:45] dogo
    Why not?
[05:47] waku
    If a child or young person
[05:49] waku
    with a future still ahead of them is told
    "you're genetically predisposed to stupidity,"
[05:53] waku
    it might be demotivating.
[05:56] waku
    Right, Ichiro-kun?
[05:57] dogo
    That's true.
[06:05] suji
    It all came back up again.
[06:08] suji
    I guess my stomach is
    sensitive to fresh cream.
[06:11] man
    Hey, want to go to Maasa-san's
    sweets buffet later on?
[06:15] man
    Sure, sure!
[06:16] man
    I can afford to pack on a few more pounds!
[06:18] suji
    They're lucky to be so plump...
[06:23] suji
    I've never been able to put on weight,
    even when I was little.
[06:27] suji
    Hoping to gain a few pounds,
    I even tried protein shakes...
[06:34] suji
    but they disagreed with me and made me sick.
[06:36] ---
    My stomach...
[06:39] suji
    I tried stuffing myself
    with various other foods,
[06:43] suji
    but it ended the same way.
[06:45] suji
    I just got sick and ended
    up thinner than before.
[06:49] suji
    Around that time, people
    started calling me...
[06:54] suji
    "Nothing but skin and bones left...
    chicken carcass."
SIGN    We use real chicken carcass!
[06:59] sign
    It must be my genes that keep
    me from putting on weight.
[07:03] sign
    There's no other way around it.
[07:06] kiri
    So if you're genetically predisposed to being fat,
     dieting can't help you?
[07:10] man
    Not necessarily... It's just what
    your body will tend towards.
[07:16] dogo
    Why? Why? Why?
[07:17] man
    Near the end of the Ice Age,
[07:19] man
    it's said that most of the Northern
    Hemisphere was covered in ice.
[07:23] dogo
    And? And?
[07:25] man
    There's a theory that this harsh environment
    led to the evolution of a conservation gene
[07:29] man
    that let humans store more energy
    from the food they consumed.
[07:31] man
    Those who inherited that gene are
    more inclined towards obesity today.
[07:38] kiri
    So it's my genes' fault that I like sweets?
[07:42] wak
    You'd better be careful, Ryoma-kun.
[07:44] kiri
    Yeah, I'd seriously better!
[07:46] dogo
    For real, for real, for real!
[07:47] dogo
    Me, too!
[07:48] wak
    I wonder where the genes that make you
    such a loudmouth come from, Ichiro.
[07:54] dogo
    Nanao-senpai! Are you interested in my genes?
[07:58] waku
    Not a bit.
[07:59] karl
    No worries here.
[08:01] karl
    There was no Ice Age in Honyala Land.
[08:04] shu
    I'm starting to think it's better
    not to know about your genes.
[08:14] mas
    Gosh, today made me so tired.
SIGN    Maasa's Fatten Up
     Pigs Recipe
[08:19] mas
    The Maasa Sweets Festival was a big lie.
[08:22] sign
    It's actually the Maasa "Fatten Up,
     You Pigs" Festival.
[08:28] masa
    They didn't contain Echire butter,
     but weight-gain butter!
[08:31] masa
    Now, you pigs...
[08:33] masa
    Get fat, all of you!
[08:38] masa
    How long have you been there?
[08:40] fura
    A while? Well... it's hard to say.
[08:46] una
    Sounds like your sweets festival
    was a roaring success.
[08:50] masa
    I-It was, thank you...
[08:53] masa
    I still have a few left,
    so I'll go hand those out...
[09:18] dogo
    Hey, hey, hey!
[09:19] dogo
    Wait up!
[09:22] dogo
    You worked really hard on your diet, huh?
[09:26] dogo
    I honestly didn't recognize you.
[09:28] dogo
    Since you changed your name to "Maasa," too...
[09:32] dogo
    I heard you'd gone on a
    foreign exchange trip, but...
[09:43] dogo
    I never thought we'd end
    up at the same high school.
[09:48] masa
    Shut up!
[09:50] masa
    I don't know you.
[09:57] kiri
    So those two know each other, huh?
[10:01] man
    I hear they're cousins.
[10:03] man
    They went to the same school until
    summer break of their sixth year,
[10:05] man
    when he went to study abroad.
[10:09] kiri
    But if Ichiro's his cousin
    and he's avoiding him...
[10:12] kiri
    I wonder what happened?
[10:13] waku
    Maybe he has a secret
     he doesn't want anyone to know.
[10:17] waku
    Secret?
[10:20] shu
    No interest here.
[10:21] shu
    Actually, I'm hungry.
[10:23] kiri
    Want to get something to eat, then?
[10:25] dogo
    Hey, senpais! Are we getting food?
[10:28] dogo
    Let's go, let's go!
[10:34] masa
    Stupid Ichiro...
[10:41] (Flashback) masa
    Shirahone, you're really something.
[10:44] (Flashback) masa
    Yeah, no kidding!
[10:45] (Flashback) masa
    I couldn't do what you do.
SIGN    School Play Bunbuku Chagama
[10:48] (Flashback) kid
    Shirahone'd be perfect, because he's fat!
[10:51] (Flashback) kid
    And he's got that old-fashioned
    name, Magozaemon!
[10:53] (Flashback) kid
    He's perfect for Bunbuku Chagama!
SIGN    Playing Bunbuku Chagama: Shirahone Magozaemon
[10:57] (Flashback) ichi
    Wow, wow, wow!
[10:59] (Flashback) ichi
    You got the lead role!
[11:04] masa
    No, no!
[11:05] masa
    I'm not that person!
[11:07] masa
    After making my cutie-pie debut...
[11:10] masa
    It makes me so annoyed!
[11:15] masa
    I ate one!
[11:16] masa
    After I held off on carbs
    for four whole years!
[11:20] masa
    You stupid things!
[11:29] suji
    I forced myself to eat,
    but it all came right back up again...
[11:35] suji
    You're...
[11:39] masa
    So you were throwing up the cookies
    I worked so hard on, were you?
[11:44] suji
    S-Sorry...
[11:45] suji
    I've always had a weak stomach,
    and I can't put on weight because of it...
[11:49] masa
    If you can't put on weight...
    then you might as well become a monster!
[11:54] shi
    Maasa's right.
[11:55] una
    Yeah.
[11:57] masa
    Ibusuki-senpai...
[11:58] masa
    Unazuki-senpai...
[12:01] shi
    I understand your suffering.
[12:03] shi
    The people of this world
[12:05] shi
    envy those who represent the opposite
    of what they fear for themselves,
[12:08] shi
    so they criticize and attack them.
[12:11] shi
    Wouldn't you like to correct those people?
[12:18] shi
    We are the Furanui Knights...
[12:20] shi
    Edelstein!
[12:23] shi
    Druck!
[12:24] shi
    Mich!
[12:25] shi
    Hart!
[12:27] shi
    An!
SIGN    Dogo Ichiro Born August 8th Blood Type: O Leo Hobbies: Card games Likes: Ichiro tarts, fun
[12:56] shu
    Delicious.
[12:57] dogo
    Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[12:59] dogo
    After a hot bath you just
    gotta have ramen, huh?
[13:02] kiri
    It's "after a night of drinking, you
    have to finish with ramen," right?
[13:05] kiri
    Of course, I don't drink,
    so I wouldn't know...
[13:09] kiri
    I wonder why old men want
    to eat ramen after drinking.
[13:14] kiri
    When one imbibes alcohol, sugars are needed
    to break down the alcohol in the bloodstream.
[13:20] kiri
    Thus, blood sugar levels drop, which leads
    to additional cravings for carbohydrates.
[13:26] waku
    Well, ramen soup is full of salt and fat,
    and the noodles are basically a carb bomb...
[13:32] dogo
    I see!
[13:34] dogo
    So we're getting nutrition from
    those chicken carcasses, huh?
[13:42] shu
    Did you hear something?
[13:45] kiri
    I think so...
[13:48] mon
    You people...
[13:49] mon
    No matter how much I eat,
    the nutrition is snatched away...
[13:53] mon
    Can you understand how I feel, squawk?!
[13:56] mon
    Squawk, squawk, squawkity-squawk!
[13:58] ichi
    He's saying something.
[14:00] kiri
    Another pain in the butt...
[14:04] shu
    Eating makes me sleepy.
[14:06] man
    That's because consuming carbs
    increases your blood sugar.
[14:10] man
    Then, to lower your blood sugar,
    insulin is secreted,
[14:14] man
    which causes a decrease in the
    glucose needed for brain functions,
[14:18] man
    which makes you sleepy.
[14:24] gara
    Hey, you guys! Get out here, squawk!
[14:28] dogo
    I think that chicken
    carcass is calling us out.
[14:31] dogo
    What should we do?
[14:32] dogo
    Just ignore him.
[14:34] dogo
    Thought so.
[14:34] mon
    You people...
[14:36] mon
    If you won't acknowledge my suffering...
[14:40] mon
    I'll have to do this, squawk!
[14:46] kiri
    What is he doing?
[14:47] man
    Trying to stir up the wind
    with his wings, I think...
[14:51] man
    Too bad he's a chicken carcass.
[14:52] dogo
    I feel a little bad for him.
[14:55] dogo
    What should we do?
[14:56] dogo
    Can't we just leave him be?
[14:59] karl
    He's in the depths of anger and suffering!
[15:03] karl
    We need to make him happy!
[15:07] dogo
    Great, now Karls is here...
[15:10] dogo
    I bet he's gonna make us do it again.
[15:12] karl
    That's right!
[15:25] karl
    Now, make your pledge with a kiss.
[16:01] karl
    Magic Knight of Flowers, Fiore Kiss!
[16:15] karl
    Magic Knight of Stars, Stella Kiss!
[16:28] karl
    Magic Knight of the Moon, Luna Kiss!
[16:41] karl
    Magic Knight of Snow, Neve Kiss!
[16:54] karl
    Magic Knight of Space, Spazio Kiss!
[16:59] karl
    Like the flowers that
    bloom across the world...
[17:02] karl
    Like the stars that shine in the night sky...
[17:04] karl
    Like the moon that illuminates
    everything below...
[17:07] karl
    Like the snow that gently
    embraces the land...
[17:09] karl
    Let's bring happiness to the universe!
[17:12] karl
    We are the magic knights who bring happiness!
[17:16] karl
    Karls Knights Happy Kiss!
[17:21] mon
    Hey!
[17:22] mon
    Everything I eat just
    gets boiled off as broth!
[17:26] mon
    Because of that, I can't put on any weight!
[17:30] mon
    I'm going to share that pain with you!
[17:34] mon
    Chicken Carcass Broth Beam!
[17:46] dogo
    Wow, this broth is delicious.
[17:49] dogo
    Let me try.
[17:51] dogo
    Yeah, what delicious broth!
[17:53] mon
    Stop mocking me!
[17:56] mon
    It's time to get serious!
[17:58] mon
    Chicken Carcass Paitan Splash!
[18:02] shu
    Soup made from chicken carcass
    is very nutritious, isn't it?
[18:06] mon
    Yes, squawk!
[18:08] mon
    That's why people guzzle
    down my broth, squawk!
[18:11] mon
    It's also very delicious, squawk!
[18:13] shu
    Why not be proud, then?
[18:15] shu
    That's a sign that you're healthy.
[18:18] mon
    W-Well...
[18:20] shu
    In this world, there are people who
    stress because they can't gain weight,
[18:23] shu
    and people who stress
    because they can't lose it.
[18:27] shu
    Well, everyone stresses over a lot of things.
[18:31] mon
    Th-They do?
[18:32] shu
    Well, as long as you're healthy and can
    enjoy a nice nap, you're all right in my book.
[18:40] karl
    Now, everyone!
[18:41] kiri
    Come on, Kyotaro. Hurry up.
[18:46] kyo
    Let's get this over with.
[18:49] kyo
    Use your powers combined to make him happy!
[18:52] kyo
    Are you happy?
[18:53] kyo
    Yes!
[18:54] kyo
    Are you happy?
[18:55] kyo
    Yes!
[18:56] kyo
    Are you happy?
[18:57] kyo
    Yes!
[18:57] kyo
    Are you happy?
[18:58] kyo
    Yes!
[18:59] kyo
    Are you happy?
[19:00] kyo
    Yes!
[19:01] kyo
    Let's happy hour!
[19:04] kyo
    Happy and Set!
[19:18] kyo
    Return to happiness!
[19:20] kyo
    Happy and Turn!
[19:30] mon
    Squawk in the park...
[19:38] mon
    Happy End!
[19:40] mon
    Happy Powder!
[19:46] suji
    What? What was I doing just now?
[19:50] man
    That's the first year,
    Sujikawa Honeo, isn't it?
[19:52] dogo
    Yeah, he's so skinny people
    call him chicken carcass...
[19:57] suji
    Y-Yes.
[19:58] suji
    But I always ace my physicals.
[20:01] suji
    I'm the peak of health.
[20:04] suji
    And even though I'm thin, I'm quite strong.
[20:12] suji
    S-See?
[20:14] dogo
    Hey, don't push yourself, too!
[20:17] suji
    Excuse me.
[20:21] karl
    Looks like everyone's happy again today!
[20:24] karl
    Happy, happy!
[20:28] una
    Now, now.
[20:29] una
    There'll be other chances.
[20:35] una
    That's right, Maasa. We haven't
    tried your Maasa cookies yet.
[20:42] una
    You won't give us any?
[20:43] masa
    Well... I'm sorry about that.
[20:49] masa
    The truth is... I was hiding something.
[20:54] ata
    We'll catch it next time, then.
[20:56] ata
    The Maasa "Fatten Up, You Pigs" Festival.
[21:00] una
    Next time, I hope you'll put
    in even more weight-gain butter
[21:03] una
    to make everyone even fatter.
[21:08] una
    And you'll still be you, Maasa.
[21:12] una
    That's right. Let's go, Maasa.
[21:21] shu
    I'm exhausted.
[21:23] shu
    Just beat.
[21:23] kiri
    Isn't this the second time
    we've been here today?
[21:26] man
    We really worked up a sweat
    against that monster.
[21:29] dogo
    It's best to have a bath after a fight!
[21:32] waku
    But what was his secret in the end?
[21:38] dogo
    Whose secret?
[21:39] waku
    Shirahone Maasa.
[21:40] waku
    He's your cousin, isn't he?
[21:42] dogo
    Yeah, he is!
[21:44] dogo
    But I couldn't think of what
    secret he could possibly have,
[21:48] dogo
    so I brought this...
[21:49] waku
    Your elementary school album?
[21:53] dogo
    Here!
[21:56] kiri
    He looks totally different!
[21:57] kiri
    Almost unrecognizable...
[22:01] man
    And his name...
[22:03] man
    Magozaemon?
[22:11] masa
    Bye-bye, Magozaemon!
[22:18] masa
    I'm Shirahone Maasa!
SIGN    Next Episode
SIGN    HAPPY Identity
SIGN    Next time: Let's happy kiss our way to "HAPPY Identity"!
SIGN    All of a sudden, it's the rainy season! Good thing we don't have anything that can get moldy this year, huh?
SIGN    Some actually theorize that the word for "rainy season" originally meant "moldy season." (-Manza)
SIGN