3 - HAPPY Ice Cream

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] karl
    --
[00:00] mon
    --
[00:00] sign
    --
[00:00] una
    --
[00:05] shu
    Oh, that's right...
[00:07] shu
    What was that thing called again?
[00:09] shu
    What thing?
[00:10] shu
    You know... that thing for
    making oyakodon or katsudon.
[00:15] shu
    The pan-like thing.
[00:17] wa
    It's called an oyako pan, I believe.
[00:19] man
    Oyako pan.
[00:21] man
    A wide, shallow, flat-bottomed
    pan with a handle.
[00:24] man
    Its form is the height of specialization,
[00:27] man
    configured for creating the
    most professional of meals.
[00:32] dogo
    But, but, but...
[00:33] dogo
    An oyako pan to make oyakodon?
[00:35] dogo
    The name feels way too obvious.
[00:38] man
    Indeed, it may be a bit predictable.
[00:41] shu
    So... what was that other thing called?
[00:43] kiri
    What "that thing" do you mean this time?
[00:45] shu
    You know, the... white
    thing, kind of square...
[00:49] kiri
    I know! Sugar cubes?
[00:51] shu
    No...
[00:53] wa
    Melamine sponges, maybe?
[00:55] dogo
    Oh, I know those!
[00:56] dogo
    I use them, too!
[00:58] dogo
    We sure are in sync, Nanao-senpai!
[01:02] shu
    Not that... You know, the thing.
[01:05] shu
    The thing you put vegetables
    and meat in to keep them cool.
[01:09] dogo
    Kyotaro-senpai...
[01:10] dogo
    You're not talking about
    a refrigerator, are you?
[01:13] shu
    Oh. Yeah, that's it.
[01:16] man
    Refrigerator...
[01:18] man
    An electrical appliance designed to preserve
    food and beverages at low temperature.
[01:22] dogo
    H-Hang on a minute!
[01:24] dogo
    Taishi, do we really need that explanation?
[01:26] man
    I guess we don't.
[01:27] kiri
    Kyotaro...
[01:28] kiri
    Aren't you a little worried
    you're forgetting refrigerators?
[01:33] kyo
    I feel refreshed.
[01:37] man
    Shuzenji-senpai!
[01:38] dogo
    Don't fall asleep in the bath!
[01:41] dogo
    Senpai!
[01:43] karl
    H-Help!
SIGN    HAPPY Ice Cream
SIGN    Year 3 Class C
[03:28] una
    Seems like we're enemies now, huh, Nanao?
[03:31] waku
    I guess that's what it shakes out to, yeah.
[03:33] una
    The magic knights who bring happiness, huh?
[03:35] (Flashback) all
    Happy Kiss!
[03:39] waku
    Right back at you.
[03:40] (Flashback) all
    Furanui Knights...
[03:41] (Flashback) all
    Edelstein!
[03:45] una
    Well, you seem to be having a lot of fun.
[03:48] waku
    I guess.
[03:49] waku
    You need to have fun when you're
    looking after your juniors.
[03:53] una
    You say you're looking after them,
     but I know you're probably messing with them.
[03:57] waku
    I guess you must have
    your hands full, too, huh?
[03:59] una
    Well, my kids are working hard.
[04:03] una
    When the kids are working hard,
    you've gotta have their backs.
SIGN    Student Council Room
SIGN    Instructions 1: An orderly lifestyle! 2: Incredible productivity! 3: Solidarity in following the ruler's commands!
[04:16] fura
    An orderly lifestyle.
[04:18] fura
    Incredible productivity.
[04:20] fura
    Solidarity in following the ruler's commands.
[04:23] fura
    These are Binan High School's new doctrines.
[04:26] fura
    In order to enforce them, first we need
    to formulate stricter school rules.
[04:30] ata
    I'm sorry to say it, but the school
    rules may not be sufficient.
[04:34] una
    Yeah.
[04:35] una
    Even if we make them stricter,
    I doubt anyone will follow them.
[04:39] ---
    True, true.
[04:40] fura
    What did you say?!
[04:43] masa
    Aw, don't get mad.
[04:46] masa
    Here, Maasa cookies!
[04:47] fura
    M-Maasa cookies?
[04:50] shiro
    I make them really good.
[04:52] fura
    W-Well, if you insist...
[04:57] fura
    Delicious!
[04:59] shira
    You can have as many as you want.
[05:03] fura
    I detect the scent of unhappiness nearby.
[05:11] all
    See you tomorrow, Yoshida, Kogawa!
[05:16] haku
    Sorry...
[05:18] yama
    Oh, it's you.
[05:20] yama
    I think the name was...
[05:24] yama
    Yamazaki, Tanaka! See you later!
[05:26] yama
    Take care on the way home!
[05:28] yama
    Do your homework! Brush your teeth!
[05:30] yama
    What is this, elementary school?
SIGN    Usui Hajime
[05:37] sign
    I see...
[05:38] sign
    No one in this school can say my name.
[05:42] sign
    I've always struggled to make an impression,
    ever since I was a child.
[05:45] sign
    But I'm so invisible,
[05:48] sign
    everyone just calls me "you" and "hey there."
[05:53] sign
    Why won't anyone say my name?
[05:56] sign
    Why won't they remember it?
[05:57] sign
    Why won't they try to learn my name?!
[06:00] man
    Here. Strawberry and mango, is it?
[06:02] man
    Thank you!
[06:04] sign
    Don't forget to close the door!
[06:05] haku
    Hey there. Coming in.
[06:07] man
    Oh, the kid from Binan High.
[06:09] man
    I've been waiting.
[06:10] man
    I need to head out for a bit.
[06:12] man
    Could you hold down the fort?
[06:14] haku
    Right...
[06:15] man
    Well, time to get changed!
SIGN    Usui Hajime
[06:22] haku
    Even at my job, no one
    calls me by my name.
[06:26] haku
    Even though it's written right here!
[06:28] haku
    It's right freaking here!
[06:32] una
    Excuse me. Soft-serve please.
[06:34] una
    Right! Coming up...
[06:37] una
    Hey, aren't you the student council?
[06:40] una
    Which should I get?
SIGN    Ultra Kiwi Spicy Mixed Soft-Serve
SIGN    Ultra Trend Mix Southern Mango
SIGN    Rush Fluffy Ultra Mix Green Tea
SIGN    Super Double Sweet Strawberry Mix
[06:44] ma
    I want the one with strawberry stuff!
[06:48] ma
    Okay.
[06:48] ma
    The super double sweet strawberry mix, right?
[06:53] una
    Are you the type who always reads the
    exact name of everything on the menu?
[06:58] haku
    Y-Yeah... Because, I mean,
    those are their names.
[07:03] una
    Yeah, I hear you. Totally.
[07:05] masa
    G-Good point.
[07:08] ata
    The humans of this world avert their eyes
    from the truth and substitute whatever suits them.
[07:13] ata
    Wouldn't you like to set them straight?
[07:16] haku
    I would, but...
[07:19] fura
    Then I'll give you that role.
[07:24] fura
    Druck!
[07:25] fura
    Mich!
[07:26] fura
    Hart!
[07:28] fura
    An!
[07:40] man
    Huh? He's gone.
[07:42] man
    Hey, you kids!
[07:43] man
    Have you seen our part-timer anywhere?
[07:46] shi
    He has been assigned the role
    of demonstrating our king's power.
[07:50] man
    But I need him around!
[07:53] mas
    Well, what are we supposed to do about it?
[07:56] man
    If you kids took our part-timer somewhere,
[07:59] man
    I'll need one of you to fill in for him.
[08:01] man
    Fill in?
[08:04] ma
    Unazuki-senpai?
[08:05] una
    Well, it must be done.
[08:07] man
    You'll do it? Thank you!
[08:10] man
    Well, good luck!
[08:11] man
    Yahoo!
[08:14] ata
    Unazuki-san, are you sure about this?
[08:16] una
    Yeah. Sure am!
[08:17] ma
    What a shock!
[08:21] una
    What do you think?
[08:22] ata
    What do we think? Well...
[08:24] ma
    Senpai, it looks great on you! Really good!
[08:28] dogo
    Hey, the student council.
[08:30] dogo
    The Defense Club!
[08:31] dogo
    You guys are serving ice cream?
[08:35] dogo
    Hey, have you got a part-time job here?
[08:37] una
    Step right up!
[08:48] una
    Well, can I get you guys some soft-serve?
[08:51] waku
    Sounds good!
[08:52] waku
    Let's get some, everyone.
[08:54] waku
    Um... This.
[08:57] waku
    Taiju, I'll take one of those.
[08:58] una
    Got it!
[09:02] shu
    Then I'll have that one!
[09:04] shu
    Thanks!
[09:05] shu
    And I'll have this one!
[09:06] shu
    Righto!
[09:06] dogo
    Then I'll have this one!
[09:08] dogo
    And I'll have this one!
[09:09] dogo
    I'll have this strawberry one!
[09:13] shu
    This is delicious!
[09:14] ---
    I want this one.
[09:15] ---
    Alright.
[09:17] una
    Ata, go on, choose.
[09:19] ata
    No... Thank you.
[09:21] wa
    Don't be like that! Here you are!
[09:24] ata
    I-If you insist.
[09:27] dogo
    Senpai, Senpai! Ryoma-senpai!
[09:30] dogo
    How did we all end up eating ice
    cream together like pals, exactly?
[09:34] kiri
    This soft-serve is great!
[09:36] man
    I'm curious to know why
    Unazuki-senpai and Wakura-senpai
[09:40] man
    are so good at making soft-serve ice cream.
[09:44] kiri
    Oh, that's right.
[09:45] kiri
    You first years don't know about that yet.
[09:47] kiri
    The cultural festival soft-serve legend.
[09:49] dogo
    What's that?
[09:51] kiri
    I've only heard the rumors, myself...
[09:53] kiri
    Right, Kyotaro?
[09:55] shu
    So good...
[09:58] man
    What are you talking about?
[10:01] kiri
    From what I've been told,
[10:02] kiri
    when Unazuki-senpai and
    Wakura-senpai were first years,
[10:06] kiri
    their names were drawn to run the
    soft-serve stall at the cultural festival.
SIGN    Soft-Serve Ice Cream
[10:11] sign
    With those two making soft-serve together,
     the stall did big business!
[10:16] an
    I never knew they'd done something like that.
[10:21] dogo
    So many people!
[10:26] shu
    I've got this pounding in my head...
[10:28] shu
    Oh, I know that!
[10:30] shu
    The cold makes your head pound, right?
[10:32] mon
    Excuse me!
[10:34] mon
    Don't you know what that
    phenomenon is called?
SIGN    Wakura Nanao Born September 17th Blood Type: AB Virgo Hobbies: Tea Likes: Japanese sweets, teasing others
[10:44] sign
    Hey, did you hear me?
[10:46] sign
    What's the phenomenon called where eating
    cold things makes your head pound?
[10:50] dogo
    I never even thought about it...
[10:50] shu
    Ah, it still hurts.
[10:53] kai
    It's known as... an ice cream headache!
[10:56] kai
    That's the official medical term, too!
[11:00] waku
    So what?
[11:02] kiri
    Oh, Wakura-senpai.
[11:03] kiri
    Don't you have to stay behind the counter?
[11:06] waku
    We sold so much we ran out of ingredients.
[11:08] dogo
    Just like the cultural festival
     soft-serve legend!
[11:11] shu
    Oh, the pounding's gone away.
[11:13] kiri
    Glad to hear it, Kyotaro. Shall we, then?
[11:16] kyo
    Yeah. Let's hit the Kurotama Bath.
[11:19] mon
    Hey, wait! You guys!
[11:21] mon
    Why are you leaving?
[11:23] shu
    Why?
[11:24] man
    Because we're done here, that's why.
[11:35] mon
    Then... do you know the name of this?
[11:41] shu
    Oh, that thing they put in books.
[11:43] mon
    Don't call it "that thing"! Its
    official name is "pagemarker"!
[11:48] mon
    Next up... this!
[11:53] kiri
    The thing you serve curry in?
[11:54] mon
    It's called a gravy boat!
[11:56] mon
    And these?
[11:59] dogo
    Hey, those green crinkly things!
[12:01] mon
    Wrong! They're called baran!
[12:03] mon
    How about this?
[12:06] man
    The tool you use for goldfish-scooping.
[12:08] man
    The official name is...
[12:10] mon
    Poi!
[12:11] man
    Correct.
[12:12] mon
    Yeah! I got it!
[12:14] mon
    Wait! I'm the one asking the questions here!
[12:16] mon
    Now, these!
[12:19] kiri
    The things you use to dig out crab meat!
[12:21] mon
    No, they're—
[12:25] shu
    So, what's the point?
[12:27] dogo
    I know!
[12:29] dogo
    Are you one of those things they use
    to hold bread bags and stuff shut?
[12:32] mon
    Oh, here we go again!
    It's the phrase I hear all the time!
[12:35] mon
    That's right!
[12:36] mon
    When anyone looks at me,
[12:38] mon
    they just say, "Oh, it's that thing
    they use to hold bread bags shut."
[12:42] mon
    Why "that thing"?
[12:42] mon
    Is "that thing" enough for you?
[12:43] kiri
    We've got ourselves a real
    pain in the butt here.
[12:46] shu
    Yeah...
[12:47] shu
    Let's have the student council
    deal with whatever his problem is...
[12:51] dogo
    Hey, they're gone!
[12:53] kiri
    So... we have to deal with him ourselves?
[12:55] dogo
    Can we not?
[12:57] man
    It does seem troublesome...
[12:58] waku
    What'll we do, Kyotaro-kun?
[13:03] shu
    Good question...
[13:05] mon
    Well... I see you're still struggling
    to figure out my name, eh?
[13:10] all
    No, no, no.
[13:19] mon
    It's "bag closure"!
[13:22] shu
    So?
[13:23] mon
    What?!
[13:24] mon
    Aren't you elated to hear my proper name?
[13:27] mon
    Doesn't it make you happy?
[13:29] shu
    Sorry, but no.
[13:32] man
    Yeah, not at all.
[13:33] dogo
    Nope, nope, nothing.
[13:38] mon
    How can it be...
[13:41] mon
    In that case, I, Bag Closure Monster,
[13:44] mon
    shall cure your depraved souls!
[13:50] mon
    Tyndall!
[13:55] mon
    The phenomenon in which
    light warps when passing
[13:57] mon
    through tree leaves is known
    as the Tyndall effect!
[14:02] mon
    Are you listening?!
[14:04] mon
    It's the Tyndall effect!
[14:05] mon
    Tyndall!
[14:09] mon
    Tyndall! Tyndall! Tyndall!
[14:15] mon
    I think he just likes saying "Tyndall"...
[14:25] mon
    The warped light...
[14:31] karl
    He's wallowing in the depths
    of anger and suffering!
[14:35] karl
    We need to make him happy!
[14:49] ---
    Now, make your pledge with a kiss.
[15:27] karl
    Magic Knight of Flowers, Fiore Kiss!
[15:40] karl
    Magic Knight of Stars, Stella Kiss!
[15:53] karl
    Magic Knight of the Moon, Luna Kiss!
[16:07] karl
    Magic Knight of Snow, Neve Kiss!
[16:19] karl
    Magic Knight of Space, Spazio Kiss!
[16:25] karl
    Like the flowers that
    bloom across the world...
[16:27] karl
    Like the stars that shine in the night sky...
[16:29] karl
    Like the moon that illuminates
    everything below...
[16:32] karl
    Like the snow that gently
    embraces the land...
[16:34] karl
    Let's bring happiness to the universe!
[16:37] karl
    We are the magic knights who bring happiness!
SIGN    Karls Knights Happy Kiss!
[16:45] ---
    Knights contract complete!
[16:48] kiri
    He made us do the full routine again...
[16:50] ban
    It appears we have no choice in the matter.
[16:54] kai
    Then I'll give you this!
[16:57] kai
    Pablo Diego José Francisco de
    Paula Juan Nepomuceno María
[17:01] kai
    de los Remedios Cipriano de la
    Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso!
[17:09] dogo
    What's that?!
[17:11] man
    It's the real name of the
    painter Pablo Picasso!
[17:13] wa
    Yes, they say his name was so long,
    he couldn't even say it himself!
[17:18] kai
    That's right!
[17:20] kai
    You didn't know it, did you?
[17:21] kai
    Boy, you're stupid!
[17:24] dogo
    Seriously, what's the point of all this?
[17:26] mon
    I really hate people who don't
    know the proper names of things,
[17:29] mon
    and just muddle through without caring!
[17:32] mon
    My name is not "that thing"!
[17:34] mon
    It's bag closure!
[17:36] mon
    Why won't anyone call me by my name?
[17:38] mon
    I remember everyone else's name!
[17:42] kiri
    Oh, I know this.
[17:43] kiri
    Is it the "I remember everyone's birthday,
[17:45] kiri
    but no one remembers mine" resentment thing?
[17:50] kai
    You...
[17:52] kai
    You said "the thing" again!
[17:54] kai
    Hey! Hey!
[17:55] man
    Kirishima-senpai, please
    don't make him angry.
[17:57] kai
    Are you listening? Hey!
[17:59] kiri
    Huh? Did I upset him?
[18:01] kiri
    I wonder why, Kyotaro...
[18:04] kiri
    Kyotaro's missing again!
[18:07] mon
    You're all really going to pay now!
[18:10] mon
    Super Magical Bag Closure Beam!
[18:13] shu
    But... are names really that important?
[18:18] shu
    This thing apparently has
    some crazy long name,
[18:21] shu
    but nobody says it.
[18:23] mon
    Yeah, and what I hate is
    people who just accept that!
[18:27] shu
    But
[18:30] ---
    everyone still thinks it's delicious,
[18:31] shu
    and they come back to order it again.
[18:34] shu
    Isn't it better for people to think you're great,
     rather than to remember your name?
[18:40] shu
    With you, too...
[18:42] shu
    Everyone remembers the thing they
    use to keep bread bags closed.
[18:46] shu
    I think that's much better than
    everyone knowing your name,
[18:50] shu
    but no one knowing what you're good for.
[18:56] karl
    My knights of happiness...
[18:58] karl
    Lift his unhappiness and make him happy!
[19:03] shu
    That was delicious.
[19:06] karl
    Now, use your power to make him happy!
[19:09] karl
    Are you happy?
[19:10] karl
    Yes!
[19:11] karl
    Are you happy?
[19:12] karl
    Yes!
[19:12] karl
    Are you happy?
[19:13] karl
    Yes!
[19:14] karl
    Are you happy?
[19:15] karl
    Yes!
[19:16] karl
    Are you happy?
[19:17] karl
    Yes!
[19:17] karl
    Let's happy hour!
[19:20] karl
    Happy and Turn!
[19:33] karl
    Return to happiness!
[19:36] karl
    Happy and Turn!
[19:47] mon
    If I'm "that," if I'm "me"...
    Maybe it's okay either way.
[19:55] shu
    Happy End!
[19:57] karl
    Happy Powder!
[20:07] haku
    Huh? What was I doing here...
[20:10] kiri
    Hey, you're that third year.
[20:12] kiri
    What was it again...?
[20:14] haku
    I'm Usui Hajime.
[20:18] haku
    But it's okay. You don't
    have to remember my name.
[20:21] haku
    As long as you don't forget
    that I was here at Binan High.
[20:25] shu
    No, I'll try to remember.
[20:28] shu
    Um, what was your name, again?
[20:31] haku
    No, seriously, it's fine...
[20:34] haku
    Excuse me!
[20:36] haku
    So long!
[20:38] karl
    Everyone's happy again today!
[20:41] karl
    Now, let's go home!
[20:52] shu
    I'm exhausted. Can't move.
[20:55] man
    I've just ended up saying "the thing" again.
[20:58] man
    Kirishima-senpai.
[20:59] man
    If you say "the thing" again,
[21:01] man
    that guy's going to show up
    and tell you to say the proper name.
[21:06] dogo
    Taishi, you ended up not
    remembering his name either!
[21:09] karl
    Everyone, look, look!
[21:11] karl
    I made a Karls Original happi coat!
[21:14] karl
    Wear this happi and say...
[21:15] karl
    Are you happy?
[21:17] karl
    Get it?!
[21:20] waku
    I'm overheating.
[21:22] waku
    I think I'll get out now.
[21:23] waku
    Same here.
[21:26] karl
    C'mon, it's a happi! Hey! Hey!
[21:31] usu
    Thank you for coming.
[21:38] waku
    Could I have one of those?
[21:39] usu
    Yes!
[21:40] una
    I'd like one of those, too.
[21:43] usu
    Right! Thanks for coming!
[21:54] waku
    Another rough day, huh?
[21:56] una
    Same to you.
[21:58] una
    How long is this gonna go on?
[22:00] waku
    Who can say?
[22:03] una
    You say that, but you seem
    to be really enjoying it.
[22:07] waku
    Certainly not.
[22:15] waku
    Well, see you again, enemy.
[22:17] una
    Sure thing, enemy.
SIGN    Next Episode
SIGN    It's A Wonderful HAPPY
SIGN    Next time: Let's happy kiss our way to "It's A Wonderful HAPPY"!
SIGN    There's gold buried on Mt. Binan?! And for some reason, the Defense Club is digging it up...
SIGN    Meanwhile, the student council just watches. What will they find in the end?!
SIGN