2 - Love Means Never Feeling Regret

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Love Means Never Feeling Regret
[01:36] kusatsu
    Arima. It's too soon.
[01:38] ari
    Really?
[01:39] ari
    I don't think one or two minutes
    makes a difference, myself...
[01:43] kusatsu
    Those who are negligent in etiquette
    will be negligent in all things.
[01:47] kusatsu
    Lifestyle, academics,
[01:49] kusatsu
    self-respect...
[01:51] ari
    Yes, yes. Whatever you say.
[01:55] gero
    President Kusatsu is as strict as ever.
[01:58] kusa
    Akoya, it is easy to drift downwards.
[02:01] kusa
    We, the student council of Binan High School,
[02:04] kusa
    regard foolishness and mediocrity as a sin.
[02:06] kusa
    We must not approve of it.
[02:08] gero
    Understood.
[02:09] arima
    Here you are. This is Seishodo's "White Dew."
[02:16] gero
    Arima-san, it's delicious.
[02:21] arima
    Glad to hear it.
[02:22] arima
    It was worth sending away for.
[02:25] zun
    Now, rulers of this blue world.
[02:28] zun
    Members of the noble Caerula Adamas.
[02:30] zun
    Let us begin the executive meeting of the
    Total Conquest of Earth's Lifeforms Project.
[02:35] yumoto
    Feel the power...
[02:37] all
    Of love!
[02:41] arima
    Why are their faces blurred out?
    Their voices are strange, too.
[02:45] kusa
    We haven't done anything to it.
[02:47] kusa
    It seems they scrambled the
    information themselves.
[02:50] yumoto
    Love is over!
[02:53] kusa
    Do you think they intend to interrupt our
    Total Conquest of Earth's Lifeforms Project,
[02:59] kusa
    Lord Zundar?
[03:00] zun
    The possibility exists.
[03:03] gero
    Does that mean they've been given
    the same technology we have?
[03:09] zun
    That voice and image filter is a product
    of highly advanced scientific technology.
[03:14] ari
    You mean that "voices have been changed
    in the interests of privacy" thing?
[03:19] zun
    It is on par with the scientific
    technology of my planet.
[03:23] kusa
    Planet Evil, you mean?
[03:25] zun
    Correct.
[03:27] zun
    If they do exist to oppose us,
    we will need to take caution.
[03:31] gero
    The things they wear and say
    have no style whatsoever.
[03:34] gero
    They can't possibly compete with us.
[03:36] gero
    Or should I say, I dislike even the
    idea of thinking them as equals.
[03:40] ari
    I suppose we should watch them for a while?
[03:42] zun
    If they appear next time, we will
    need to consider countermeasures.
[03:46] zun
    For now, let us move forward
    with the Earth Conquest Project.
[03:50] kusa
    Yes. The superior should rule and
    guide the world's development.
[03:54] kusa
    To this end, the foolish and the acts
    of barbarism they commit must be purged.
[03:59] ari
    That's quite the ambitious undertaking, I must say.
[04:02] kusa
    Well then, Arima...
[04:04] kusa
    The state of this Earth.
[04:05] kusa
    This city.
[04:07] kusa
    This school. Do you approve of it?
[04:10] kusa
    Base and vulgar.
[04:12] kusa
    Ignorant and incompetent.
[04:13] kusa
    Stupid and silly.
[04:16] kusa
    Should such students run
    rampant over Binan High School?
[04:19] ari
    Oh, well...
[04:23] ari
    I do think some degree of
    order might be necessary.
[04:26] kusa
    Which means we must first establish a
    model society in our immediate vicinity.
[04:31] kusa
    Namely...
[04:32] gero
    The Binan High School Conquest Project, right?
[04:36] gero
    I unilaterally agree with President Kusatsu.
[04:39] gero
    I don't want to look at ugly and dirty things.
[04:42] zun
    The inferior beings should fight with
    their fellows, and destroy themselves.
[04:48] kusa
    That's entirely logical.
[04:50] zun
    Then you should make use of the humans'
    short-tempered, violent natures.
[04:54] zun
    First, we need someone who
    can execute the operation.
[04:57] kusa
    Find someone to be our puppet,
    and act through them, right?
[05:02] zun
    Correct.
[05:04] zun
    Lend him just a bit of our power.
[05:07] zun
    Anger, hatred, jealousy...
[05:10] zun
    They burn more easily than dry leaves.
[05:14] kusa
    Understood, Lord Zundar.
[05:16] kusa
    Then let us find us our fool at once.
[05:19] zun
    Caerula Adamas, I leave this to you.
[05:22] all
    Sir!
[05:25] en
    Did you know?
[05:27] en
    People say it's not true
    that forests are disappearing
[05:30] en
    to make disposable chopsticks.
[05:32] ryu
    Where did that come from, Yufuin-senpai?
[05:35] en
    Disposable chopsticks are made from
    trees cut down to thin out forests,
[05:38] en
    so they're logical from an eco-friendly,
    recycling point of view.
[05:41] atsu
    I know that.
[05:43] en
    Well then, the phrase "boiled down"
[05:46] en
    originally referred to reaching a
    conclusion after a lengthy discussion.
[05:50] en
    Did you know that?
[05:51] atsu
    A crime of conscience or
    inappropriate laughter, right?
[05:53] yumoto
    Speaking of disposable
    chopsticks getting boiled down,
[05:55] yumoto
    my bro Gora taught me...
[05:56] yumoto
    "Menma is just recycled disposable chopsticks."
[05:59] ryu
    Wow, he's an idiot.
[06:01] yumoto
    But it's kinda like disposable chopsticks, isn't it?
[06:04] ryu
    It's just thin and rectangular, right?
[06:05] yumoto
    It's also crisp.
[06:07] ryu
    That doesn't mean it's chopsticks.
[06:09] ryu
    The crispiness comes from the
    bamboo it's made from.
[06:11] yumoto
    There are disposable chopsticks
    made from bamboo, too.
[06:13] ryu
    Are you that determined to
    say menma is chopsticks?
[06:16] yumoto
    What are you saying, Ryuu-senpai?
[06:18] yumoto
    Menma is menma.
[06:19] ryu
    You're the one who brought it up!
[06:21] io
    Anyway, can we talk about why
    Wombat appears to be dead now?
[06:26] yumoto
    I need one cuddle a day!
[06:29] atsu
    I have no idea why that deserves a thumbs up.
[06:31] yumoto
    What? It's the obvious compensation.
[06:34] atsu
    For what?
[06:35] yumoto
    You know, for the fight...
    The Love Busters thing.
[06:39] en
    Oh. Yeah.
[06:41] wombat
    It's not the Love Busters!
    It's the Battle Lovers!
[06:45] wombat
    At least try to remember your own name!
[06:49] en
    Love Battlers, Bust Lovers...
[06:52] en
    They're both embarrassing,
    so what's the difference?
[06:54] wombat
    Battle Lovers is a venerable and noble title!
[06:58] ryu
    Can't be, it's English.
[06:59] io
    At least be consistent about whether
    you're an alien or a foreigner.
[07:01] ryu
    So inconsistent.
[07:04] en
    Plus...
[07:05] en
    These things won't come off.
[07:08] wombat
    They're not "these things"!
    They're Lovracelets!
[07:12] atsu
    Yeah.
[07:13] atsu
    The inability to remember proper names
    means you're getting old, you know.
[07:17] en
    Seriously? Is it bad?
[07:20] io
    It's bad, Yufuin-senpai.
[07:22] io
    Trying to have a conversation on nothing but
    "these things," "those things," and "that thing"
[07:25] io
    definitely means you're getting old.
[07:27] ryu
    So, there's one person here
    who hasn't said a single word,
[07:30] ryu
    let alone a proper name.
[07:36] ryu
    Mr. Tawarayama there.
[07:38] wombat
    No! He'll rot!
[07:41] tawara
    Now you need not worry.
[07:43] all
    No, no, no...
[07:44] ryu
    "Need not" in this day and age...
[07:46] io
    What did you mean, "rot"?
[07:47] wombat
    What I mean is, if I get too far away,
[07:51] wombat
    this body's cellular metabolism will cease and...
[07:54] yumoto
    You mean he's dead?
[07:56] wombat
    In your planet's terms.
[07:59] en
    That's a corpse?
[08:00] atsu
    Dead? So you killed him?
[08:01] ryu
    Murderer!
[08:02] io
    That's a crime.
[08:05] yumoto
    Cold?
[08:06] atsu
    I don't know how you can touch him, Yumoto.
[08:08] yumoto
    Yeah? But he's not that cold!
[08:10] io
    But he's dead!
[08:10] ryu
    Liar!
[08:11] wombat
    Wait a minute.
[08:13] wombat
    This individual is dead, but he is also alive.
[08:17] atsu
    What's with the Schrödinger reference?
[08:19] wombat
    No, it's true!
[08:22] en
    This is starting to annoy me.
[08:24] tawara
    I shall describe my current ability to
    function independently as "difficult."
[08:30] io
    That old man speak is really irritating me.
[08:33] ryu
    You've got our teacher's character all wrong.
[08:35] atsu
    He seriously seems possessed.
[08:37] tawara
    I am currently in stasis,
    but I shall recover shortly.
[08:42] atsu
    Even though you're dead?
[08:43] tawara
    Scientifically advanced medical mechanisms
    are currently at work in my body.
[08:47] tawara
    You need not worry.
[08:49] en
    Easier said than done.
[08:51] wombat
    As long as I am within a certain range,
    his life will not be in danger.
[08:55] wombat
    You know the saying.
[08:56] wombat
    We are "living jointly"!
[08:59] atsu
    I don't know where you pulled that one from...
[09:01] io
    Putting off dealing with problems
    is called the Concorde Effect.
[09:04] io
    It just increases your debt.
[09:06] ryu
    Besides, you can't say you love Earth
    when you killed someone on it.
[09:09] wombat
    There was a reason for that!
[09:11] atsu
    What's the reason?
[09:12] wombat
    It happened the other day,
    just after I arrived on Earth!
[09:16] wombat
    When I was expressing my admiration
[09:19] wombat
    for the generous character and
    clean habits of the people of Earth!
[09:23] atsu
    Does he mean the public bath?
[09:24] yumoto
    It's us!
[09:26] yumoto
    The Kurotama Bath is always open for business!
[09:28] wombat
    But then I was chased around by
    an extremely belligerent individual!
[09:32] yumoto
    Huh? Who was that?
[09:34] yumoto
    Me?!
[09:35] both
    Ah.
[09:37] wombat
    In order to escape his relentless pursuit,
[09:40] wombat
    I had no choice but to run with all my might!
[09:43] wombat
    Help me!
[10:06] en
    You did it, huh?
[10:07] atsu
    You sure did it.
[10:08] io
    You did it, all right.
[10:09] ryu
    Really did it.
[10:12] wombat
    Y-Yes, but...
[10:13] wombat
    Is the responsibility truly mine alone to bear?
[10:17] yumoto
    What? Me?
[10:18] io
    Well, given the force he was
    about to get cuddled with,
[10:22] io
    maybe he was right to run.
[10:24] ryu
    "Sekuhara"? No, you'd call it "anihara," right?
[10:26] atsu
    Animal harassment, yeah.
[10:29] yumoto
    I get it.
[10:31] yumoto
    In that case, Wombat, cuddle me!
[10:34] yumoto
    As much as you like.
[10:35] yumoto
    Do it to your heart's content!
[10:37] wombat
    I refuse!
[10:38] yumoto
    Why?!
[10:39] wombat
    I don't want cuddles, I want you
    to work as the Battle Lovers!
[10:43] wombat
    What I want more than anything
    is for you to love the Earth!
[10:46] yumoto
    But you can just love me!
[10:49] en
    Question.
[10:51] en
    You mean we'll have to put on
    those weird costumes again?
[10:54] atsu
    More than the costumes, I disliked
    those grandiose introductory speeches.
[10:57] ryu
    If it were just the costume...
[10:59] io
    What? "If"? You mean you'd be fine
    if it was just the costume?
[11:02] ryu
    If I think of it as cosplay, it's totally fine.
[11:05] ryu
    We can fire beams, too!
[11:06] io
    Now that you mention it...
[11:08] yumoto
    Well, if my cute li'l Wombat
    asks it of me, I'll take it on!
[11:12] en
    Hold on a minute.
[11:14] en
    Can you really take something
    like this on that easily?
[11:16] atsu
    And how long will we have to do it?
[11:18] wombat
    Until the Earth is filled with love, naturally!
[11:23] en
    You're so creepy.
[11:25] io
    Love? What's that?
[11:27] ryu
    It's like, being happy, right?
[11:29] ryu
    Like me. Or me.
[11:31] io
    Just you, huh, Ryuu?
[11:33] ryu
    I think love is found in the
    trivial, realistic moments.
[11:36] ryu
    Like sharing a can of coffee with a girl,
[11:39] ryu
    or when your shoulders brush
    when the train shakes!
[11:42] io
    I bet I'll feel love when I get
    one billion in my Cayman Islands account.
SIGN    One Billion
[11:46] ryu
    Talk about corrupt!
[11:47] atsu
    It's fine that everyone has
    his own definition of love.
[11:50] atsu
    But are you okay with having
     to wear embarrassing costumes,
[11:53] atsu
    say embarrassing lines,
    and do embarrassing things
[11:55] atsu
    for the foreseeable future?
[11:57] wombat
    I told you, it's nothing
    to be embarrassed about!
[12:00] en
    By the way...
[12:02] en
    Is it okay for you to be away
    from Mr. Tawarayama right now?
[12:06] tawara
    It is fine.
[12:08] en
    Freezing and thawing something over
    and over makes it brittle, y'know?
[12:12] atsu
    You need to take care with perishables.
[12:14] yumoto
    Like sell-by dates.
[12:15] wombat
    I'm sorry!
[12:17] yumoto
    It's okay. I don't mind it so much.
[12:19] four
    You should mind!
SIGN    Yufuin En
    Born July 2nd
    Blood Type B / Cancer
    Hobby: Napping
    Likes: Sleeping in, hot spring manju
SIGN    On sale this week New menu item!
SIGN    Chicken Cutlet Curry Tanmen
[12:32] kusa
    Now then...
[12:34] kusa
    That stench...
[12:36] gero
    What's wrong?
[12:37] ari
    Kinshiro hates curry to death.
SIGN    Hashida Wario
[12:44] hashi
    My name is Hashida Wario.
[12:47] hashi
    I like a world of order and rules.
[12:51] hashi
    The thing I hate most is pi.
[12:53] hashi
    Because it doesn't divide evenly.
[12:55] hashi
    On that note, I also hate
    families with three children.
[12:57] hashi
    When parents and grandparents get
    together for birthdays and Christmas
[13:00] hashi
    and you have seven people sharing a cake...
[13:04] hashi
    It's unbearable.
[13:06] hashi
    It would be better if the
    grandparents would just...
[13:12] zun
    He is the one.
[13:14] kusa
    Why?
[13:15] zun
    His narrow-minded heart that permits
    no compromise will create a raging flame.
[13:20] kusa
    Yes, Lord Zundar.
[13:26] kusa
    Conquest!
[13:33] kusa
    The Golden Chevalier, shining in radiance!
[13:35] kusa
    Aurite!
[13:39] ari
    The Silver Chevalier, rustling young leaves!
[13:42] ari
    Argent!
[13:47] gero
    The Pearl Chevalier, making flowers bloom!
[13:50] gero
    Perlite!
[13:52] trio
    We are the rulers of this blue world...
[13:55] trio
    Caerula Adamas!
[13:57] zun
    Now, release the Zundar Needle!
[14:02] kusa
    Aurum!
[14:04] ari
    Argentum!
[14:06] gero
    Perla!
[14:10] trio
    Donum!
[14:33] wari
    That which is not evenly divisible!
[14:34] wari
    That which is warped!
    That which is not equal!
[14:37] wari
    Multiply further!
[14:38] wari
    Warp this world and destroy it!
[14:42] wari
    Asymmetry Beam, fire!
[14:53] guy
    Hey!
[14:54] guy
    Move your hand!
[14:55] guy
    I can't get to the chopsticks!
[14:57] guy
    That's your fault!
[15:04] ari
    Are mismatched chopsticks really
    enough to start a fight like this?
[15:08] gero
    It really is fighting and self-destruction.
[15:10] kusa
    Their own foolishness is to blame.
[15:15] en
    The Lovracelet's reacting,
[15:17] en
    but there's no need for all of us to go, right?
[15:19] en
    I'm taking today off.
[15:21] ryuu
    You mean it, Yufuin-senpai?
[15:23] atsu
    Roger that. If we're short on
    people, we might call you, though.
[15:26] io
    Okay, permission given.
[15:28] wombat
    Hey! Wait just one minute!
[15:31] wombat
    Since ancient times, there have always
    been five heirs to the throne of love!
[15:35] yumoto
    What, really?
[15:36] wombat
    I can't allow you to reduce and
    revert their numbers so lightly!
[15:41] en
    What? Sounds like a pain.
[15:43] wombat
    Why do you think I went to all that trouble
[15:45] wombat
    of thinking up five introductory speeches?!
[15:48] atsu
    What, you thought up those lines?
[15:50] ryuu
    No wonder I thought they had no style.
[15:53] wombat
    But I spent a whole week thinking them up...
[15:56] ryuu
    They have no style.
[15:57] wombat
    You said it twice!
[15:59] yumoto
    Well, I think it's best if all five of us go.
[16:02] wombat
    See? See? See?!
[16:04] en
    How come?
[16:05] yumoto
    Just a feeling, I guess.
[16:06] yumoto
    Or maybe I just like odd numbers
     better than even ones!
[16:11] atsu
    That's a more unintelligible
    reason than I was expecting.
[16:14] yumoto
    And we already went out together once!
[16:16] ryuu
    It's true that it feels more complete that way.
[16:18] io
    And you like that outfit, right, Ryuu?
[16:22] ryuu
    It really does look good on me...
[16:23] wombat
    I don't care! Just, please, get out there!
[16:27] en
    Guess I don't have a choice.
[16:29] en
    Might as well go.
[16:30] wombat
    Then Love Making into the
    Battle Lovers right now!
[16:37] yumoto
    Love Making!
[16:41] yumoto
    The Sparkling Prince!
[16:43] yumoto
    Battle Lover Scarlet!
[16:45] en
    The Flashing Prince!
[16:46] en
    Battle Lover Cerulean!
[16:48] atsu
    The Piercing Prince!
[16:50] atsu
    Battle Lover Epinard!
[16:52] io
    The Roaring Prince!
[16:53] io
    Battle Lover Sulfur!
[16:55] ryuu
    The Thrilling Prince!
[16:57] ryuu
    Battle Lover Vesta!
[17:00] en
    You, who befoul our beloved Earth!
[17:03] ryuu
    No justice can come from loveless power!
[17:06] io
    Love is all!
[17:08] atsu
    Live for love! Die for love!
[17:10] yumoto
    We are the heirs to the throne of love!
[17:13] five
    Battle Lovers!
[17:15] yumoto
    Feel the power...
[17:17] five
    Of love!
[17:20] wari
    Disorderly things!
[17:21] wari
    Inadequate things! Superfluous things!
[17:23] wari
    Destroy them all this instant!
[17:26] yumoto
    Wait!
[17:28] yumoto
    We're gonna defeat you!
[17:29] wari
    What?
[17:30] ryu
    That's too abridged!
[17:31] yumoto
    But we already introduced ourselves before!
[17:34] en
    I want to go home already,
    so let's get this done.
[17:37] io
    That's a careless line no hero should say.
[17:39] io
    You're amazing, Yufuin-senpai.
[17:39] guy
    What the heck?
[17:40] guy
    "Defeat you"?
[17:42] guy
    How embarrassing.
[17:44] yufuin
    They're right to react like that.
[17:46] atsu
    Hey, do they recognize us?
[17:48] wombat
    Worry not!
[17:50] wombat
    Your images and voices have been altered
    to protect your personal information.
SIGN    *Image and voices have been altered to protect privacy
[17:54] en
    They'll still recognize us if we use our real names.
[17:56] en
    For now, I'm Cerulean!
[17:58] en
    Take this!
[18:02] wari
    Hey, that was dangerous!
[18:05] yumoto
    Yu— Cerulean-senpai's really into it!
[18:08] en
    I told you, I want to get home.
[18:10] wari
    Five! An indivisible number!
[18:13] wari
    Then I will erase you!
[18:15] atsu
    What was that?
[18:17] wari
    The world must be beautifully
    symmetrical and even!
[18:20] ryuu
    What are you talking about?
[18:25] ryuu
    You mean, you don't like this kind of thing?
[18:28] wari
    Are you stupid?!
[18:30] wari
    Don't show me that thing!
[18:40] yumoto
    Senpai!
[18:45] yumoto
    What'd you do that for?!
[18:47] wari
    I will destroy warped things
    and incomplete sets!
[18:51] yumoto
    Why?
[18:52] yumoto
    What's wrong with disposable chopsticks?
[18:58] atsu
    The splinters!
[19:00] atsu
    The splinters from the
    chopsticks got Yu— got Scarlet!
[19:03] en
    Those things really hurt.
[19:18] yumoto
    This thing's making rattling noises!
[19:19] wari
    A mass of chopsticks acts as my armor,
[19:23] wari
    rendering your attacks useless!
[19:30] wari
    The finish!
[19:34] yumoto
    If you hate disposable chopsticks that much,
[19:36] yumoto
    don't use them to protect yourself!
[19:40] yumoto
    Just bring your own chopsticks!
[19:43] yumoto
    These irregular chopsticks you're trying to
    destroy have a great purpose behind them!
[19:48] wari
    Purpose?!
[19:50] yumoto
    I'm talking about...
[19:52] yumoto
    A child's rifle!
[19:53] wari
    Ch-Child's rifle?!
[19:56] yumoto
    Can something so cool exist
    in this world? No, it can't!
[19:59] wari
    A rhetorical question?!
[20:02] yumoto
    Scarlet Lumiere!
[20:10] yumoto
    Sparkle, Lumiere of Love!
[20:13] en
    Flash, Purifying Aqua!
[20:15] atsu
    Pierce, Gallant Hurricane!
[20:18] io
    Roar, Raging Gaia!
[20:20] ryuu
    Thrill, Blazing Ignit!
[20:35] all
    Love Attack!
[20:49] yumoto
    Your inability to see disposable chopsticks
    as anything but chopsticks was your downfall.
[20:52] yumoto
    Wash your used chopsticks and use them again!
[20:55] yumoto
    Love Shower!
[21:04] wari
    What is this sensation?
[21:06] wari
    Comfort... Healing...
[21:07] wari
    So this is love...
[21:14] hashi
    Eco-friendly...
[21:17] yumoto
    Love is over!
[21:19] four
    We told you, it's not!
[21:21] ryuu
    Well, whatever.
[21:24] kusa
    One thing has become very clear.
[21:28] kusa
    They are our enemies.
SIGN    Kurotama Bath
[21:36] gora
    Yumoto. How's the bath?
[21:39] yumoto
    Just perfect, Gora.
[21:41] en
    As I thought, there was no
    need for all five of us.
[21:43] atsu
    Yumoto just handled it all by himself.
    With the force of a storm.
[21:47] ryuu
    I never got to show off.
[21:48] wombat
    Try harder next time.
[21:51] ryuu
    That pisses me off! What's your
    problem, you overgrown rodent?
[21:53] wombat
    I am not a rodent!
[21:56] io
    He's a marsupial.
[21:56] wombat
    What are you saying?!
[21:59] yumoto
    Huh?
[22:00] yumoto
    Will Mr. Tawaramura be okay
    in hot water like this?
[22:04] wombat
    Ah, wait...
[23:41] en
    A pretty boy contest at an all-boys' school?
[23:43] en
    There's something wrong with this place.
[23:45] en
    But the Ballet Club advisor,
    Kurotori, is really pushing for it.
[23:49] en
    Ugh, what a pain.
SIGN    Next Time
SIGN    Feel Love, Narcissus!
[23:50] en
    Next time: Feel Love, Narcissus!
[23:52] en
    Love Making!