2 - Love Means Never Feeling Regret Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Love Means Never Feeling Regret [01:36] kusatsu     Arima. It's too soon. [01:38] ari     Really? [01:39] ari     I don't think one or two minutes     makes a difference, myself... [01:43] kusatsu     Those who are negligent in etiquette     will be negligent in all things. [01:47] kusatsu     Lifestyle, academics, [01:49] kusatsu     self-respect... [01:51] ari     Yes, yes. Whatever you say. [01:55] gero     President Kusatsu is as strict as ever. [01:58] kusa     Akoya, it is easy to drift downwards. [02:01] kusa     We, the student council of Binan High School, [02:04] kusa     regard foolishness and mediocrity as a sin. [02:06] kusa     We must not approve of it. [02:08] gero     Understood. [02:09] arima     Here you are. This is Seishodo's "White Dew." [02:16] gero     Arima-san, it's delicious. [02:21] arima     Glad to hear it. [02:22] arima     It was worth sending away for. [02:25] zun     Now, rulers of this blue world. [02:28] zun     Members of the noble Caerula Adamas. [02:30] zun     Let us begin the executive meeting of the     Total Conquest of Earth's Lifeforms Project. [02:35] yumoto     Feel the power... [02:37] all     Of love! [02:41] arima     Why are their faces blurred out?     Their voices are strange, too. [02:45] kusa     We haven't done anything to it. [02:47] kusa     It seems they scrambled the     information themselves. [02:50] yumoto     Love is over! [02:53] kusa     Do you think they intend to interrupt our     Total Conquest of Earth's Lifeforms Project, [02:59] kusa     Lord Zundar? [03:00] zun     The possibility exists. [03:03] gero     Does that mean they've been given     the same technology we have? [03:09] zun     That voice and image filter is a product     of highly advanced scientific technology. [03:14] ari     You mean that "voices have been changed     in the interests of privacy" thing? [03:19] zun     It is on par with the scientific     technology of my planet. [03:23] kusa     Planet Evil, you mean? [03:25] zun     Correct. [03:27] zun     If they do exist to oppose us,     we will need to take caution. [03:31] gero     The things they wear and say     have no style whatsoever. [03:34] gero     They can't possibly compete with us. [03:36] gero     Or should I say, I dislike even the     idea of thinking them as equals. [03:40] ari     I suppose we should watch them for a while? [03:42] zun     If they appear next time, we will     need to consider countermeasures. [03:46] zun     For now, let us move forward     with the Earth Conquest Project. [03:50] kusa     Yes. The superior should rule and     guide the world's development. [03:54] kusa     To this end, the foolish and the acts     of barbarism they commit must be purged. [03:59] ari     That's quite the ambitious undertaking, I must say. [04:02] kusa     Well then, Arima... [04:04] kusa     The state of this Earth. [04:05] kusa     This city. [04:07] kusa     This school. Do you approve of it? [04:10] kusa     Base and vulgar. [04:12] kusa     Ignorant and incompetent. [04:13] kusa     Stupid and silly. [04:16] kusa     Should such students run     rampant over Binan High School? [04:19] ari     Oh, well... [04:23] ari     I do think some degree of     order might be necessary. [04:26] kusa     Which means we must first establish a     model society in our immediate vicinity. [04:31] kusa     Namely... [04:32] gero     The Binan High School Conquest Project, right? [04:36] gero     I unilaterally agree with President Kusatsu. [04:39] gero     I don't want to look at ugly and dirty things. [04:42] zun     The inferior beings should fight with     their fellows, and destroy themselves. [04:48] kusa     That's entirely logical. [04:50] zun     Then you should make use of the humans'     short-tempered, violent natures. [04:54] zun     First, we need someone who     can execute the operation. [04:57] kusa     Find someone to be our puppet,     and act through them, right? [05:02] zun     Correct. [05:04] zun     Lend him just a bit of our power. [05:07] zun     Anger, hatred, jealousy... [05:10] zun     They burn more easily than dry leaves. [05:14] kusa     Understood, Lord Zundar. [05:16] kusa     Then let us find us our fool at once. [05:19] zun     Caerula Adamas, I leave this to you. [05:22] all     Sir! [05:25] en     Did you know? [05:27] en     People say it's not true     that forests are disappearing [05:30] en     to make disposable chopsticks. [05:32] ryu     Where did that come from, Yufuin-senpai? [05:35] en     Disposable chopsticks are made from     trees cut down to thin out forests, [05:38] en     so they're logical from an eco-friendly,     recycling point of view. [05:41] atsu     I know that. [05:43] en     Well then, the phrase "boiled down" [05:46] en     originally referred to reaching a     conclusion after a lengthy discussion. [05:50] en     Did you know that? [05:51] atsu     A crime of conscience or     inappropriate laughter, right? [05:53] yumoto     Speaking of disposable     chopsticks getting boiled down, [05:55] yumoto     my bro Gora taught me... [05:56] yumoto     "Menma is just recycled disposable chopsticks." [05:59] ryu     Wow, he's an idiot. [06:01] yumoto     But it's kinda like disposable chopsticks, isn't it? [06:04] ryu     It's just thin and rectangular, right? [06:05] yumoto     It's also crisp. [06:07] ryu     That doesn't mean it's chopsticks. [06:09] ryu     The crispiness comes from the     bamboo it's made from. [06:11] yumoto     There are disposable chopsticks     made from bamboo, too. [06:13] ryu     Are you that determined to     say menma is chopsticks? [06:16] yumoto     What are you saying, Ryuu-senpai? [06:18] yumoto     Menma is menma. [06:19] ryu     You're the one who brought it up! [06:21] io     Anyway, can we talk about why     Wombat appears to be dead now? [06:26] yumoto     I need one cuddle a day! [06:29] atsu     I have no idea why that deserves a thumbs up. [06:31] yumoto     What? It's the obvious compensation. [06:34] atsu     For what? [06:35] yumoto     You know, for the fight...     The Love Busters thing. [06:39] en     Oh. Yeah. [06:41] wombat     It's not the Love Busters!     It's the Battle Lovers! [06:45] wombat     At least try to remember your own name! [06:49] en     Love Battlers, Bust Lovers... [06:52] en     They're both embarrassing,     so what's the difference? [06:54] wombat     Battle Lovers is a venerable and noble title! [06:58] ryu     Can't be, it's English. [06:59] io     At least be consistent about whether     you're an alien or a foreigner. [07:01] ryu     So inconsistent. [07:04] en     Plus... [07:05] en     These things won't come off. [07:08] wombat     They're not "these things"!     They're Lovracelets! [07:12] atsu     Yeah. [07:13] atsu     The inability to remember proper names     means you're getting old, you know. [07:17] en     Seriously? Is it bad? [07:20] io     It's bad, Yufuin-senpai. [07:22] io     Trying to have a conversation on nothing but     "these things," "those things," and "that thing" [07:25] io     definitely means you're getting old. [07:27] ryu     So, there's one person here     who hasn't said a single word, [07:30] ryu     let alone a proper name. [07:36] ryu     Mr. Tawarayama there. [07:38] wombat     No! He'll rot! [07:41] tawara     Now you need not worry. [07:43] all     No, no, no... [07:44] ryu     "Need not" in this day and age... [07:46] io     What did you mean, "rot"? [07:47] wombat     What I mean is, if I get too far away, [07:51] wombat     this body's cellular metabolism will cease and... [07:54] yumoto     You mean he's dead? [07:56] wombat     In your planet's terms. [07:59] en     That's a corpse? [08:00] atsu     Dead? So you killed him? [08:01] ryu     Murderer! [08:02] io     That's a crime. [08:05] yumoto     Cold? [08:06] atsu     I don't know how you can touch him, Yumoto. [08:08] yumoto     Yeah? But he's not that cold! [08:10] io     But he's dead! [08:10] ryu     Liar! [08:11] wombat     Wait a minute. [08:13] wombat     This individual is dead, but he is also alive. [08:17] atsu     What's with the Schrödinger reference? [08:19] wombat     No, it's true! [08:22] en     This is starting to annoy me. [08:24] tawara     I shall describe my current ability to     function independently as "difficult." [08:30] io     That old man speak is really irritating me. [08:33] ryu     You've got our teacher's character all wrong. [08:35] atsu     He seriously seems possessed. [08:37] tawara     I am currently in stasis,     but I shall recover shortly. [08:42] atsu     Even though you're dead? [08:43] tawara     Scientifically advanced medical mechanisms     are currently at work in my body. [08:47] tawara     You need not worry. [08:49] en     Easier said than done. [08:51] wombat     As long as I am within a certain range,     his life will not be in danger. [08:55] wombat     You know the saying. [08:56] wombat     We are "living jointly"! [08:59] atsu     I don't know where you pulled that one from... [09:01] io     Putting off dealing with problems     is called the Concorde Effect. [09:04] io     It just increases your debt. [09:06] ryu     Besides, you can't say you love Earth     when you killed someone on it. [09:09] wombat     There was a reason for that! [09:11] atsu     What's the reason? [09:12] wombat     It happened the other day,     just after I arrived on Earth! [09:16] wombat     When I was expressing my admiration [09:19] wombat     for the generous character and     clean habits of the people of Earth! [09:23] atsu     Does he mean the public bath? [09:24] yumoto     It's us! [09:26] yumoto     The Kurotama Bath is always open for business! [09:28] wombat     But then I was chased around by     an extremely belligerent individual! [09:32] yumoto     Huh? Who was that? [09:34] yumoto     Me?! [09:35] both     Ah. [09:37] wombat     In order to escape his relentless pursuit, [09:40] wombat     I had no choice but to run with all my might! [09:43] wombat     Help me! [10:06] en     You did it, huh? [10:07] atsu     You sure did it. [10:08] io     You did it, all right. [10:09] ryu     Really did it. [10:12] wombat     Y-Yes, but... [10:13] wombat     Is the responsibility truly mine alone to bear? [10:17] yumoto     What? Me? [10:18] io     Well, given the force he was     about to get cuddled with, [10:22] io     maybe he was right to run. [10:24] ryu     "Sekuhara"? No, you'd call it "anihara," right? [10:26] atsu     Animal harassment, yeah. [10:29] yumoto     I get it. [10:31] yumoto     In that case, Wombat, cuddle me! [10:34] yumoto     As much as you like. [10:35] yumoto     Do it to your heart's content! [10:37] wombat     I refuse! [10:38] yumoto     Why?! [10:39] wombat     I don't want cuddles, I want you     to work as the Battle Lovers! [10:43] wombat     What I want more than anything     is for you to love the Earth! [10:46] yumoto     But you can just love me! [10:49] en     Question. [10:51] en     You mean we'll have to put on     those weird costumes again? [10:54] atsu     More than the costumes, I disliked     those grandiose introductory speeches. [10:57] ryu     If it were just the costume... [10:59] io     What? "If"? You mean you'd be fine     if it was just the costume? [11:02] ryu     If I think of it as cosplay, it's totally fine. [11:05] ryu     We can fire beams, too! [11:06] io     Now that you mention it... [11:08] yumoto     Well, if my cute li'l Wombat     asks it of me, I'll take it on! [11:12] en     Hold on a minute. [11:14] en     Can you really take something     like this on that easily? [11:16] atsu     And how long will we have to do it? [11:18] wombat     Until the Earth is filled with love, naturally! [11:23] en     You're so creepy. [11:25] io     Love? What's that? [11:27] ryu     It's like, being happy, right? [11:29] ryu     Like me. Or me. [11:31] io     Just you, huh, Ryuu? [11:33] ryu     I think love is found in the     trivial, realistic moments. [11:36] ryu     Like sharing a can of coffee with a girl, [11:39] ryu     or when your shoulders brush     when the train shakes! [11:42] io     I bet I'll feel love when I get     one billion in my Cayman Islands account. SIGN    One Billion [11:46] ryu     Talk about corrupt! [11:47] atsu     It's fine that everyone has     his own definition of love. [11:50] atsu     But are you okay with having      to wear embarrassing costumes, [11:53] atsu     say embarrassing lines,     and do embarrassing things [11:55] atsu     for the foreseeable future? [11:57] wombat     I told you, it's nothing     to be embarrassed about! [12:00] en     By the way... [12:02] en     Is it okay for you to be away     from Mr. Tawarayama right now? [12:06] tawara     It is fine. [12:08] en     Freezing and thawing something over     and over makes it brittle, y'know? [12:12] atsu     You need to take care with perishables. [12:14] yumoto     Like sell-by dates. [12:15] wombat     I'm sorry! [12:17] yumoto     It's okay. I don't mind it so much. [12:19] four     You should mind! SIGN    Yufuin En     Born July 2nd     Blood Type B / Cancer     Hobby: Napping     Likes: Sleeping in, hot spring manju SIGN    On sale this week New menu item! SIGN    Chicken Cutlet Curry Tanmen [12:32] kusa     Now then... [12:34] kusa     That stench... [12:36] gero     What's wrong? [12:37] ari     Kinshiro hates curry to death. SIGN    Hashida Wario [12:44] hashi     My name is Hashida Wario. [12:47] hashi     I like a world of order and rules. [12:51] hashi     The thing I hate most is pi. [12:53] hashi     Because it doesn't divide evenly. [12:55] hashi     On that note, I also hate     families with three children. [12:57] hashi     When parents and grandparents get     together for birthdays and Christmas [13:00] hashi     and you have seven people sharing a cake... [13:04] hashi     It's unbearable. [13:06] hashi     It would be better if the     grandparents would just... [13:12] zun     He is the one. [13:14] kusa     Why? [13:15] zun     His narrow-minded heart that permits     no compromise will create a raging flame. [13:20] kusa     Yes, Lord Zundar. [13:26] kusa     Conquest! [13:33] kusa     The Golden Chevalier, shining in radiance! [13:35] kusa     Aurite! [13:39] ari     The Silver Chevalier, rustling young leaves! [13:42] ari     Argent! [13:47] gero     The Pearl Chevalier, making flowers bloom! [13:50] gero     Perlite! [13:52] trio     We are the rulers of this blue world... [13:55] trio     Caerula Adamas! [13:57] zun     Now, release the Zundar Needle! [14:02] kusa     Aurum! [14:04] ari     Argentum! [14:06] gero     Perla! [14:10] trio     Donum! [14:33] wari     That which is not evenly divisible! [14:34] wari     That which is warped!     That which is not equal! [14:37] wari     Multiply further! [14:38] wari     Warp this world and destroy it! [14:42] wari     Asymmetry Beam, fire! [14:53] guy     Hey! [14:54] guy     Move your hand! [14:55] guy     I can't get to the chopsticks! [14:57] guy     That's your fault! [15:04] ari     Are mismatched chopsticks really     enough to start a fight like this? [15:08] gero     It really is fighting and self-destruction. [15:10] kusa     Their own foolishness is to blame. [15:15] en     The Lovracelet's reacting, [15:17] en     but there's no need for all of us to go, right? [15:19] en     I'm taking today off. [15:21] ryuu     You mean it, Yufuin-senpai? [15:23] atsu     Roger that. If we're short on     people, we might call you, though. [15:26] io     Okay, permission given. [15:28] wombat     Hey! Wait just one minute! [15:31] wombat     Since ancient times, there have always     been five heirs to the throne of love! [15:35] yumoto     What, really? [15:36] wombat     I can't allow you to reduce and     revert their numbers so lightly! [15:41] en     What? Sounds like a pain. [15:43] wombat     Why do you think I went to all that trouble [15:45] wombat     of thinking up five introductory speeches?! [15:48] atsu     What, you thought up those lines? [15:50] ryuu     No wonder I thought they had no style. [15:53] wombat     But I spent a whole week thinking them up... [15:56] ryuu     They have no style. [15:57] wombat     You said it twice! [15:59] yumoto     Well, I think it's best if all five of us go. [16:02] wombat     See? See? See?! [16:04] en     How come? [16:05] yumoto     Just a feeling, I guess. [16:06] yumoto     Or maybe I just like odd numbers      better than even ones! [16:11] atsu     That's a more unintelligible     reason than I was expecting. [16:14] yumoto     And we already went out together once! [16:16] ryuu     It's true that it feels more complete that way. [16:18] io     And you like that outfit, right, Ryuu? [16:22] ryuu     It really does look good on me... [16:23] wombat     I don't care! Just, please, get out there! [16:27] en     Guess I don't have a choice. [16:29] en     Might as well go. [16:30] wombat     Then Love Making into the     Battle Lovers right now! [16:37] yumoto     Love Making! [16:41] yumoto     The Sparkling Prince! [16:43] yumoto     Battle Lover Scarlet! [16:45] en     The Flashing Prince! [16:46] en     Battle Lover Cerulean! [16:48] atsu     The Piercing Prince! [16:50] atsu     Battle Lover Epinard! [16:52] io     The Roaring Prince! [16:53] io     Battle Lover Sulfur! [16:55] ryuu     The Thrilling Prince! [16:57] ryuu     Battle Lover Vesta! [17:00] en     You, who befoul our beloved Earth! [17:03] ryuu     No justice can come from loveless power! [17:06] io     Love is all! [17:08] atsu     Live for love! Die for love! [17:10] yumoto     We are the heirs to the throne of love! [17:13] five     Battle Lovers! [17:15] yumoto     Feel the power... [17:17] five     Of love! [17:20] wari     Disorderly things! [17:21] wari     Inadequate things! Superfluous things! [17:23] wari     Destroy them all this instant! [17:26] yumoto     Wait! [17:28] yumoto     We're gonna defeat you! [17:29] wari     What? [17:30] ryu     That's too abridged! [17:31] yumoto     But we already introduced ourselves before! [17:34] en     I want to go home already,     so let's get this done. [17:37] io     That's a careless line no hero should say. [17:39] io     You're amazing, Yufuin-senpai. [17:39] guy     What the heck? [17:40] guy     "Defeat you"? [17:42] guy     How embarrassing. [17:44] yufuin     They're right to react like that. [17:46] atsu     Hey, do they recognize us? [17:48] wombat     Worry not! [17:50] wombat     Your images and voices have been altered     to protect your personal information. SIGN    *Image and voices have been altered to protect privacy [17:54] en     They'll still recognize us if we use our real names. [17:56] en     For now, I'm Cerulean! [17:58] en     Take this! [18:02] wari     Hey, that was dangerous! [18:05] yumoto     Yu— Cerulean-senpai's really into it! [18:08] en     I told you, I want to get home. [18:10] wari     Five! An indivisible number! [18:13] wari     Then I will erase you! [18:15] atsu     What was that? [18:17] wari     The world must be beautifully     symmetrical and even! [18:20] ryuu     What are you talking about? [18:25] ryuu     You mean, you don't like this kind of thing? [18:28] wari     Are you stupid?! [18:30] wari     Don't show me that thing! [18:40] yumoto     Senpai! [18:45] yumoto     What'd you do that for?! [18:47] wari     I will destroy warped things     and incomplete sets! [18:51] yumoto     Why? [18:52] yumoto     What's wrong with disposable chopsticks? [18:58] atsu     The splinters! [19:00] atsu     The splinters from the     chopsticks got Yu— got Scarlet! [19:03] en     Those things really hurt. [19:18] yumoto     This thing's making rattling noises! [19:19] wari     A mass of chopsticks acts as my armor, [19:23] wari     rendering your attacks useless! [19:30] wari     The finish! [19:34] yumoto     If you hate disposable chopsticks that much, [19:36] yumoto     don't use them to protect yourself! [19:40] yumoto     Just bring your own chopsticks! [19:43] yumoto     These irregular chopsticks you're trying to     destroy have a great purpose behind them! [19:48] wari     Purpose?! [19:50] yumoto     I'm talking about... [19:52] yumoto     A child's rifle! [19:53] wari     Ch-Child's rifle?! [19:56] yumoto     Can something so cool exist     in this world? No, it can't! [19:59] wari     A rhetorical question?! [20:02] yumoto     Scarlet Lumiere! [20:10] yumoto     Sparkle, Lumiere of Love! [20:13] en     Flash, Purifying Aqua! [20:15] atsu     Pierce, Gallant Hurricane! [20:18] io     Roar, Raging Gaia! [20:20] ryuu     Thrill, Blazing Ignit! [20:35] all     Love Attack! [20:49] yumoto     Your inability to see disposable chopsticks     as anything but chopsticks was your downfall. [20:52] yumoto     Wash your used chopsticks and use them again! [20:55] yumoto     Love Shower! [21:04] wari     What is this sensation? [21:06] wari     Comfort... Healing... [21:07] wari     So this is love... [21:14] hashi     Eco-friendly... [21:17] yumoto     Love is over! [21:19] four     We told you, it's not! [21:21] ryuu     Well, whatever. [21:24] kusa     One thing has become very clear. [21:28] kusa     They are our enemies. SIGN    Kurotama Bath [21:36] gora     Yumoto. How's the bath? [21:39] yumoto     Just perfect, Gora. [21:41] en     As I thought, there was no     need for all five of us. [21:43] atsu     Yumoto just handled it all by himself.     With the force of a storm. [21:47] ryuu     I never got to show off. [21:48] wombat     Try harder next time. [21:51] ryuu     That pisses me off! What's your     problem, you overgrown rodent? [21:53] wombat     I am not a rodent! [21:56] io     He's a marsupial. [21:56] wombat     What are you saying?! [21:59] yumoto     Huh? [22:00] yumoto     Will Mr. Tawaramura be okay     in hot water like this? [22:04] wombat     Ah, wait... [23:41] en     A pretty boy contest at an all-boys' school? [23:43] en     There's something wrong with this place. [23:45] en     But the Ballet Club advisor,     Kurotori, is really pushing for it. [23:49] en     Ugh, what a pain. SIGN    Next Time SIGN    Feel Love, Narcissus! [23:50] en     Next time: Feel Love, Narcissus! [23:52] en     Love Making!