4 - The Synchronicity of Love

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] dada
    --
[00:00] aki
    --
[00:00] sign
    --
[00:00] io
    --
[00:11] all
    Haru-sama!
[00:12] all
    Aki-sama!
[00:14] all
    Haru-sama!
[00:15] haru
    They're so annoying.
[00:15] all
    Aki-sama!
[00:16] aki
    They're becoming a
    neighborhood nuisance, too.
[00:20] yu
    Nice to see you guys again today!
[00:21] yu
    Please take one of these!
[00:23] yu
    They're coupons for our bath!
[00:24] kid
    Thanks!
[00:25] kid
    Thanks a bunch!
[00:27] go
    Great job, Yumoto.
[00:29] go
    That's very considerate of you.
[00:33] haru
    It's him!
[00:35] aki
    Haru, I know what you're thinking.
[00:38] haru
    Aki, you feel the same way?
[00:40] aki
    Yes...
[00:42] both
    We are not amused.
[00:44] dada
    So why not just get rid of him?
SIGN    The Synchronicity of Love
[02:28] yu
    Oh yeah, senpai!
[02:30] yu
    You hear this a lot at barbers
    and beauty shops and stuff.
[02:33] yu
    "Do you feel itchy anywhere?"
[02:36] en
    I guess you still do hear that.
[02:38] atsu
    Yeah, that's a line you only
    hear at places like that.
[02:43] yu
    But I hear twins know that
    kind of thing without asking!
[02:47] yu
    If their twin is feeling itchy or something.
[02:49] ryu
    Seriously?
[02:50] yu
    Seriously!
[02:51] ryu
    Which means they can seriously
    scratch anywhere they feel itchy?
[02:53] yu
    They seriously can!
[02:54] yu
    Twins are amazing, huh?
[02:56] yu
    They know just where the other feels itchy!
[02:59] en
    Hey Atsushi, why are we talking about twins?
[03:04] atsu
    It's probably because of those Italian twins
[03:07] atsu
    transferring here right on the
    heels of the Beppu Siblings.
[03:10] en
    Another set of twins?
[03:12] en
    And why are they Italian?
[03:14] atsu
    That's a very good question.
[03:17] yu
    They're the Salvatores,
    and they're really rugged.
[03:20] io
    When you say "rugged," you
    mean their facial features?
[03:22] ryu
    What else could he mean?
[03:24] io
    Well, lots of other things...
[03:27] en
    Like sideburns or chest hair, or something.
[03:29] ai
    Yeah, I bet they've got that.
[03:32] en
    They say someone rich in
    hair is also rich in spirit.
[03:35] en
    Is that true?
[03:37] atsu
    I don't know.
[03:38] atsu
    I think it's an old wives tale?
[03:40] yu
    Rich in hair means rich in spirit?
[03:43] yu
    I guess that's why Gora is like that!
[03:46] en
    Gora is hairy?
[03:48] atsu
    He doesn't give off that vibe...
[03:51] yu
    Well, he's hairier than me!
[03:52] ryu
    That's just because you're smooth all over.
[03:56] ryu
    But yeah, I've heard that, too.
[03:58] ryu
    The rich in hair and spirit thing.
[04:00] io
    I've heard that, too.
[04:02] io
    Though I expelled it from my mind, as
    there was no profit to be gained from it.
[04:06] yu
    That's right!
[04:07] yu
    Wom-san is hairy, too!
[04:09] yu
    I guess that's why you're so compassionate!
[04:11] wom
    Please, desist!
[04:13] wom
    I don't itch anywhere!
[04:14] yu
    No, I bet you're itchy right here!
[04:22] haru
    I'm extremely unamused.
[04:24] haru
    I want Hakone Yumoto extremely gone.
[04:27] aki
    Haru, I know what you're thinking.
SIGN    Monster
[04:31] aki
    You want to create a monster
    to stamp him out, right?
[04:34] haru
    Yes, yes! That, that!
[04:37] dada
    In that case...
[04:39] dada
    Let's make one.
[04:45] yu
    Today's a minced chicken and egg lunch! Yeah!
[04:48] tsu
    Gora-san's handmade lunches always
    look delicious, don't they?
[04:51] yu
    They're the best!
[04:52] yu
    I usually eat rice balls, so once in a while,
[04:54] yu
    he goes out of his way
    to pack a lunch for me.
[04:58] yu
    Let's eat!
[05:00] yu
    Huh? There's no spoon...
[05:05] yu
    You want a bite of my chicken and egg lunch?
[05:10] haru
    I want it...
[05:12] haru
    I want it so bad!
[05:16] aki
    No, thank you.
[05:17] haru
    That lunch wasn't made for us.
[05:24] aki
    This is why I didn't want to
    have lunch at the cafeteria.
[05:28] haru
    But going out of my way to avoid
    him gets under my skin, too.
[05:32] aki
    I can't say I don't sympathise...
[05:35] haru
    Right?
[05:36] haru
    I hate them!
[05:38] ber
    Loves me...
[05:39] ber
    hates me...
[05:40] ber
    loves me...
[05:40] dada
    It appears someone's here.
[05:42] ber
    hates me...
[05:43] ber
    loves me...
[05:45] ber
    hates me...
[05:48] haru
    You. What are you doing?
[05:52] ber
    I do beg your pardon!
[05:54] ber
    I was performing, how do you say,
    the Japanese flower fortunetelling!
[05:58] aki
    Picking flowers in a greenhouse
    seems rather tasteless...
[06:01] ber
    I beg your utmost pardon!
[06:04] ber
    I was worried about whether my twin
    younger brother loves or hates me.
[06:09] ber
    And before I could think twice, I
    began plucking the flower's petals.
[06:11] aki
    Your twin younger brother?
[06:13] haru
    You're twins, too?
[06:15] ber
    Yes!
[06:16] ber
    My name is Bernardo.
[06:18] ber
    My little brother is Alan.
[06:20] ber
    We are the pretty-boy Italian twins,
[06:22] ber
    acknowledged by both ourselves and others!
[06:28] aki
    If you're twins,
[06:30] aki
    can't you just tell what he's thinking?
[06:32] haru
    We never run into that problem.
[06:36] ber
    I am so full of envy!
[06:38] ber
    We were not always this way!
[06:41] haru
    What a waste.
[06:43] haru
    Twins, of all people,
    should always get along.
[06:45] ber
    Indeed!
[06:46] ber
    Twins must always get along!
[06:50] ber
    And yet I cannot understand
    anything my brother is thinking!
[06:55] haru
    How did that happen?
[06:58] aki
    You did something to make
    him hate you, right?
[07:00] ber
    It cannot be!
[07:02] ber
    How can my brother hate me,
    when I love him so?
[07:05] aki
    But your brother must have some reason.
[07:08] haru
    That's right.
[07:10] haru
    Because without a reason...
[07:11] both
    Twins would never, ever hate each other!
[07:14] aki
    Even if the world turned upside-down...
[07:17] haru
    We'd still be of one mind in all things.
[07:20] ber
    What lovely twinly love!
[07:22] ber
    That is what I would like to have!
[07:25] ber
    And yet Alan...
[07:27] ber
    he will not even meet my gaze!
[07:34] dada
    And so, Bernardo told his story.
[07:38] dada
    They actually used to be the best of friends.
[07:43] dada
    But when they hit puberty,
[07:46] dada
    the little brother changed.
[07:49] (Flashback) alan
    Brother, I will no longer
    take baths with you!
[07:52] (Flashback) ber
    Why not, Alan?
[07:54] (Flashback) ber
    Brother...
[07:55] (Flashback) ber
    you cannot understand how I feel!
[07:58] ber
    Since then,
[08:00] ber
    we have never once bathed together.
[08:04] haru
    I wonder why not.
[08:05] ber
    I cannot understand!
[08:07] haru
    It's a mystery, then?
[08:09] aki
    Yeah.
[08:10] aki
    It's hard for perfect twins
    like us to understand.
[08:13] dada
    But these estranged twins could be useful.
[08:16] aki
    Good point.
[08:18] ber
    I beg of you to help me!
[08:21] dada
    And so we quickly began trailing
    the younger brother, Alan.
[08:26] dada
    There's Alan!
[08:28] haru
    He does look a lot like Bernardo.
SIGN    Alan Salvatore
[08:30] aki
    They're as identical as we are.
[08:33] yu
    Alan!
[08:35] yu
    I heard they have hot springs in Italy, too!
[08:40] yu
    My brother says they're called thermae!
[08:44] alan
    And what of it?
[08:46] yu
    The truth is, we run a thermae too!
[08:49] yu
    You can come by with your
    twin brother some time!
[08:52] yu
    Here, a coupon!
[08:55] alan
    The answer is no!
[08:57] alan
    I will never go to a thermae with my brother!
[08:59] alan
    Never!
[09:00] yu
    What's wrong?
[09:03] dada
    Hakone Yumoto appears to
    have stepped on a landmine.
[09:07] aki
    Yes.
[09:08] aki
    It appears that what Bernardo said was true.
[09:14] [Messenger] sign
    The Piercing Prince
    Battle Lover Epinard
    Finishing Move: Epinard Love Hurricane
[09:19] aki
    Could we have a word?
[09:22] alan
    What is it?
[09:24] haru
    We are the Beppu siblings.
[09:26] aki
    We're twins, like you.
[09:28] alan
    So what?
[09:30] haru
    Why do you hate your brother?
[09:32] alan
    H-How did you know...
[09:34] haru
    Bernardo told us.
[09:37] aki
    He's worried about you.
[09:39] alan
    My brother could never
    understand my feelings.
[09:42] alan
    And neither would perfect
    twins such as yourselves!
[09:45] aki
    Well, I agree that we're perfect...
[09:48] alan
    But we are entirely different!
[09:51] alan
    There is a wall between my brother and I
[09:53] alan
    that none could ever surmount!
[09:57] aki
    We're sorry to pry,
[09:59] aki
    but could you tell us why it
    is that you hate your brother?
[10:04] haru
    As fellow twins, perhaps we could help.
[10:07] alan
    I do not wish to say it.
[10:08] alan
    It is too shameful a
    thing for an Italian boy!
[10:13] haru
    For an Italian boy?
[10:15] aki
    What does that mean?
[10:17] alan
    Do not poke at my inferiority complex!
[10:20] haru
    Oh?
[10:21] haru
    But I'm sure we'd be able to help.
[10:24] aki
    We're very helpful to people with complexes.
[10:27] haru
    Yes, we always side with people
    going through hard times.
[10:31] haru
    In other words...
[10:33] both
    We're on your side!
[10:36] alan
    You are the first people who
    have ever said such a thing.
[10:41] alan
    My brother is a good man,
    and very considerate.
[10:44] alan
    But my brother has something which I lack.
[10:48] aki
    I see.
[10:49] haru
    That would cause an inferiority complex.
[10:51] aki
    Then why don't you just take it from him?
[10:56] alan
    But such a thing cannot be stolen...
[10:58] haru
    It can.
[10:59] aki
    If you let us help you, at least.
[11:01] alan
    Truly?
[11:03] aki
    Truly!
[11:04] haru
    So, what is it...
[11:05] aki
    ...that you want?
[11:08] alan
    Chest hair.
[11:10] haru
    Huh?
[11:11] aki
    Chest hair?
[11:13] aki
    But yes, we'll find a way to help you.
[11:16] alan
    Truly?
[11:17] aki
    Yes.
[11:18] aki
    If you hate your brother, from the bottom
    of your heart, for his chest hair.
[11:23] alan
    Yes, I hate it.
[11:25] alan
    He has such a fine chest full of hair!
[11:27] alan
    I envy him, and at the same time, hate him!
[11:30] aki
    Then...
[11:30] haru
    ...we'll grant your wish.
[11:42] dada
    * Welcome to the VEPP Theater.*
[11:44] alan
    What?!
[11:47] alan
    VEPPer, the twin stars
    racing through the galaxy!
[11:53] alan
    Moon and sun, miracles and secrets
[11:57] alan
    We're the stars making wishes come true!
[12:00] alan
    VEPPer, the twin stars
    racing through the galaxy!
[12:02] both
    Galaxy Idols, the VEPPer!
[12:06] both
    Chosen warrior!
[12:06] alan
    Let's illuminate the mysteries
    of the universe...
[12:08] haru
    Lucky you!
[12:10] aki
    Happy you!
[12:10] alan
    On the name of the stars!
[12:12] both
    Shooting...
[12:13] both
    Star!
[12:22] aki
    Now we set him on Hakone Yumoto,
    and let him tear him to pieces.
[12:25] haru
    Hair him to pieces, you mean.
[12:30] both
    Suffer! Feel the pain!
[12:36] yu
    The True Lovracelets!
[12:37] wom
    Everyone, let's Love Making!
[12:42] yu
    Love Making!
[13:09] yu
    The Sparkling Prince!
[13:12] yu
    Battle Lover Scarlet!
[13:15] en
    Love Making.
[13:26] en
    The Flashing Prince!
[13:27] en
    Battle Lover Cerulean!
[13:30] atsu
    Love Making.
[13:40] atsu
    The Piercing Prince!
[13:42] atsu
    Battle Lover Epinard!
[13:45] io
    Love Making.
[13:55] io
    The Roaring Prince!
[13:57] io
    Battle Lover Sulfur!
[13:59] ryu
    Love Making!
[14:10] ryu
    The Thrilling Prince!
[14:11] ryu
    Battle Lover Vesta!
[14:25] en
    This love-filled planet
[14:27] en
    will not abide those who lack love!
[14:29] ryu
    Those who wield loveless power
[14:31] ryu
    must kneel before love!
[14:33] io
    Love is power!
[14:34] io
    Love is hope!
[14:36] atsu
    Be born for love!
[14:37] atsu
    Give your life for love!
[14:39] yu
    Love!
[14:40] yu
    We are, forever, the heirs
    to the throne of love...
[14:43] five
    Battle Lovers!
[14:45] yu
    Feel the power...
[14:47] five
    of love!
[14:50] hair
    Behold my luxurious chest hair!
[14:52] hair
    I am Chest Hair Monster Alan!
[14:55] hair
    You are the ones who will feel the power!
[14:58] en
    He said his real name.
[15:00] atsu
    Yes, he did.
[15:01] en
    But what did he say?
[15:03] en
    That's chest hair?
[15:04] atsu
    If he says it is, I guess it is.
[15:07] en
    Overdoing it, isn't he?
[15:08] ryu
    Over-overdoing it.
[15:10] io
    Overdoing it so badly, you couldn't pay me ten
    million yen to look straight at it.
[15:14] yu
    You! How did you become a monster?
[15:17] yu
    Who did this to you?
[15:18] mon
    That does not matter!
[15:20] mon
    I will defeat you to vent my complex
[15:24] mon
    over my brother's chest hair!
[15:26] en
    He just stated his motivation
    in the clearest terms possible.
[15:29] atsu
    Though it's still incomprehensible.
[15:31] en
    I don't even care if someone
    has chest hair or not.
[15:36] ryu
    Clean-shaven is more the fashion
    nowadays anyway, right?
[15:39] io
    Yeah. I can't understand it.
[15:41] alan
    You could never understand!
[15:45] yu
    I kind of do!
[15:47] alan
    What?!
[15:48] en
    Seriously?
[15:49] atsu
    He understands?
[15:50] yu
    Yeah!
[15:51] yu
    Because my brother Gora is hairy and manly,
[15:55] yu
    and I'm a little jealous of that!
[15:58] haru
    Is Gora-san hairier than he looks?
[16:02] haru
    He is very manly, after all.
[16:04] aki
    I never knew!
[16:06] haru
    I really can't stand Hakone Yumoto.
[16:09] haru
    How dare he know everything about Gora-san!
[16:11] aki
    Get him, Chest Hair Monster!
[16:13] dada
    Attack!
[16:15] alan
    Take this! Hairball Beam!
[16:20] yu
    What?!
[16:21] en
    Oh, boy... are you kidding me?
[16:23] atsu
    This is really something...
[16:24] ryu
    What's going on?!
[16:25] io
    Please don't look!
[16:27] yu
    This is all extremely embarrassing!
[16:30] mon
    Behold, the power of the Hairball Beam!
[16:34] haru
    How funny!
[16:35] aki
    A plan to weaken the enemy
    through embarrassment?
[16:40] mon
    Next, I will give you fantastic chest hair!
[16:45] mon
    Chained Chest Hair Beam!
[16:48] atsu
    Chained? What?
[16:50] atsu
    I don't understand.
[16:57] en
    Oh, is that what "chained" means?
[17:00] atsu
    I don't think this is the
    best time to be impressed.
[17:03] mon
    Are you not happy to have
    such wonderful chest hair?
[17:06] ryu
    No, not at all!
[17:08] atsu
    What do we do about this, anyway?
[17:10] yu
    Is doing this really making you happy?
[17:12] mon
    What?!
[17:14] yu
    I'm asking!
[17:16] yu
    Is having that fake chest hair,
    giving us fake chest hair...
[17:18] yu
    Does that really make you happy?
[17:22] mon
    Of course it does!
[17:23] mon
    Chest hair is everything!
[17:24] mon
    Chest hair is what makes you an Italian boy!
[17:26] mon
    Bravo, chest hair!
[17:29] mon
    So, what do we do about this?
[17:31] atsu
    This monster's a real pain.
[17:33] ryu
    When they start getting annoying,
    don't we usually just purge them?
[17:36] io
    We wave our little sticks and end it!
[17:39] wom
    You guys are really raring to go for once!
[17:42] yu
    No!
[17:44] en
    Um... why not, exactly?
[17:46] yu
    Even if we beat him,
[17:48] yu
    it won't cure him of his
    complex about his big brother!
[17:51] yu
    We need to get them to make up!
[17:54] en
    I can't entirely deny the logic there...
[17:56] atsu
    In other words...
[17:58] yu
    Wom-san, find his big brother!
[18:01] wom
    Roger that!
[18:03] ryu
    So do we just stay like this until then?
[18:05] io
    It appears that we do.
[18:09] mon
    You make a grand sight
    with all that chest hair!
[18:15] wom
    Everyone!
[18:16] wom
    Here is the monster's brother, Bernardo-san!
[18:19] en
    That was fast.
[18:20] ryu
    Too fast!
[18:22] yu
    That's our Wom-san!
[18:24] ber
    Alan... is that you, Alan?!
[18:26] al
    Yes it is, brother!
[18:28] al
    But I am no longer the Alan you once knew!
[18:31] al
    Look at this magnificent
    chest hair that I have now!
[18:35] ryu
    I cannot even comprehend why he wants that.
[18:38] io
    I'm even more baffled than when
    one of my investments failed.
[18:42] yu
    Bernardo!
[18:43] yu
    You're the only one who can save him!
[18:46] yu
    You're his big brother!
[18:48] ber
    Alan...
[18:50] ber
    I had no idea that my chest hair
    was causing you so much pain!
[18:54] mon
    It is just as I said!
[18:55] mon
    You could not understand how I feel!
[18:58] mon
    We were twins, with the
    same face, the same body,
[19:01] mon
    always with the same thoughts
    and the same dreams!
[19:05] mon
    So why am I the only one
    deprived of chest hair?!
[19:10] ber
    Is that why you
[19:11] ber
    would no longer go to the thermae with me?
[19:14] mon
    That is right!
[19:16] mon
    Your chest hair was so
    dazzling and so enviable,
[19:18] mon
    I could no longer stand to see it!
[19:22] ber
    Then...
[19:23] ber
    I no longer need chest hair!
[19:25] mon
    What?!
[19:26] ber
    I say that if I must lose one of you...
[19:28] ber
    I would rather lose the chest hair!
[19:31] mon
    You lie!
[19:32] mon
    I know that you secretly take
    great pride in your chest hair!
[19:34] ber
    It is no lie!
[19:36] ber
    I shall prove it to you now!
[19:41] ber
    This pain is nothing!
[19:45] en
    This took a turn for the amazing.
[19:47] at
    That's got to sting a little.
[19:49] ryu
    No, it's probably extremely painful.
[19:52] yu
    But he's enduring it!
[19:54] yu
    Because he wants to make up with his
    little brother, even if it hurts!
[19:58] en
    This is bringing tears to your eyes?
[20:00] haru
    Damn that Hakone Yumoto.
[20:02] haru
    He got in our way!
[20:04] aki
    That wolf in sheep's clothing...
[20:06] yu
    You!
[20:07] yu
    Do you see the pain your brother's in?
[20:10] yu
    But he's enduring it
[20:12] yu
    because he loves you so much!
[20:15] yu
    He wants to make amends
[20:17] yu
    and restore your loving sibling relationship!
[20:20] ber
    That is right!
[20:21] ber
    To get that back,
[20:22] ber
    I would sacrifice many
    hundreds of chest hairs!
[20:25] mon
    Please, stop it!
[20:27] mon
    I... It is my fault!
[20:30] mon
    Please stop, my brother!
[20:33] en
    They made up?
[20:34] at
    But we're still stuck here?
[20:37] io
    I guess we actually have to purge him.
[20:40] wom
    Okay then, everyone! Now!
[20:42] yu
    Yeah!
[20:44] yu
    Sparkle, Lumiere of Love!
[20:49] en
    Flash, Purifying Aqua!
[20:52] atsu
    Pierce, Gallant Hurricane!
[20:55] io
    Roar, Raging Gaia!
[20:59] ryu
    Thrill, Blazing Ignit!
[21:06] yu
    True Love Fountain!
[21:23] yu
    Love is over!
[21:27] alan
    Brother!
[21:32] yu
    Thank goodness!
[21:33] go
    Hey! Yumoto!
[21:37] yu
    Brother!
[21:38] yu
    What's wrong?
[21:40] go
    I forgot to include the
    spoon for your lunch today.
[21:44] yu
    Brother!
[21:44] yu
    Thank you! But I already finished it.
[21:47] go
    I see.
[21:48] go
    Well done.
[21:50] aki
    I know what you're thinking.
[21:53] haru
    Yeah.
[21:54] dada
    Don't worry.
[21:56] dada
    You, the Beppu siblings, are the strongest.
[22:00] both
    Yeah.
SIGN    Kurotama Bath
[22:05] yu
    Huh?
[22:06] yu
    Bernardo's chest hair is back to normal!
[22:09] wom
    It must be the power of the Love Fountain!
[22:12] en
    Can it do that?
[22:14] at
    I guess it can.
[22:16] al
    That's my dear big brother!
[22:18] ber
    Alan...
[22:20] yu
    I'm so glad you're friends again!
[22:23] io
    I'm not going to say another word on this.
SIGN    Accept Love
SIGN    Next Time
[24:01] io
    Next time, "Accept Love!"
[24:04] io
    Love Making!
[24:07] ---