E199 - Dasaku-Kun's Trash Picture Story Show

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] All
    Aware! Meisaku-Kun!
SIGN    Aware! Meisaku-Kun
[00:05] Sign
    Once upon a time, there was a zombie who was a herbivore
[00:06] Dasaku
    Once upon a time, there was
    a zombie who was a herbivore.
[00:10] Dasaku
    Zombies can turn humans
    into zombies by biting them.
[00:10] Sign
    Zombies can turn humans into zombies by biting them
[00:12] Dasaku
    But since he was a herbivore,
    he didn't bite any humans.
[00:12] Sign
    But since he was a herbivore, he didn't bite any humans
[00:16] Dasaku
    The end.
[00:16] Sign
    The end
[00:17] Dasaku
    What did you think, everyone?
[00:19] Kid 1
    It was boring.
[00:20] Dasaku
    Wasn't it?
[00:21] Kid 2
    Like, I don't get it.
[00:23] Dasaku
    Yes, yes.
[00:23] Kid 1
    Boo! What kinda story do you call that?
[00:23] Kid 2
    Boring! Boo! It's too short.
[00:26] Dasaku
    Yes, exactly! So this story is...
[00:29] Dasaku
    Say it with me now!
[00:31] ---
    Absolute trash! Right?
[00:33] Dasaku
    Okay, this next one's called:
[00:34] ---
    "A Middle-Aged Man Who Slept Through
    Till Evening Because It Was His Day Off."
[00:34] Sign
    A Middle-Aged Man
[00:34] Sign
    Who Slept Through Till Evening Because It Was His Day Off
[00:37] ---
    Now this is the trashiest of trash.
[00:39] Kid 1
    Sounds dull. Let's go home.
[00:41] Dasaku
    Children, wait!
[00:44] ---
    Damn it! But why?
[00:45] ---
    It's such a boring story.
[00:48] ---
    Why don't they want to
    listen to the whole thing?
[00:51] Meisaku
    They don't want to because it's boring!
[00:51] Sign
    Episode 199
    Dasaku-Kun's Trash Picture Story Show
[00:53] Dasaku
    Oh. It's you, Meisaku Matsuda.
[00:55] Meisaku
    What were you doing just now?
[00:57] Dasaku
    Teaching kids the joy of reading trash.
    But for some reason, they're not interested.
[01:01] ---
    Not many kids show up, and
    those that do leave halfway.
[01:04] Meisaku
    No one wants to see them
    because they're garbage.
[01:06] Dasaku
    That's not true!
[01:07] ---
    There's total trash that gets read
     by everyone for some reason.
[01:10] ---
    I want to create garbage like that!
[01:12] Nokio
    I didn't think a dream could
    be so impossible to support.
[01:14] Musubi
    Well, he is creating trash, after all.
[01:16] Dasaku
    I'll research more and produce the
     trashiest trash that makes everyone go:
[01:19] ---
    "Wow, that was a total waste of time,"
     and they'll all feel a sense of emptiness!
[01:23] Meisaku
    That's a terrible goal.
[01:26] Bolt
    It's awful, Meisaku!
[01:28] Meisaku
    What's up?
[01:28] Musubi
    Dasaku-kun's picture story
    show is drawing a crowd!
[01:32] Bolt
    Take a look!
[01:33] Kids
    I'm so excited!
[01:34] Meisaku
    It's true!
[01:37] Dasaku
    Plenty of kids in the gallery today.
[01:39] Meisaku
    Dasaku-kun, you decided to write
     an enjoyable story in the end?
[01:42] Dasaku
    Nope, no fun to be had
     at this picture story show.
[01:44] Meisaku
    So wait, it isn't fun?
[01:45] Musubi
    Then, why are so many people here to see it?
[01:48] Dasaku
    Well, it's because...
[01:49] Dasaku
    ...it seems interesting!
[01:51] Meisaku
    It seems interesting?
[01:52] Dasaku
    It's not fun at all, but I made it look fun.
[01:55] Musubi
    What do you mean?
[01:56] Dasaku
    First, look at this!
[01:57] ---
    First rule of trash:
    Use a clickbait thumbnail!
[01:58] Sign
    Clickbait Thumbnail
[01:59] Bolt
    Clickbait... thumbnail?!
[02:01] Nokio
    That thing where a video is nothing
     like its thumbnail suggests?
[02:04] Musubi
    Ah, it's true! Look at the front
    cover of his picture story!
[02:05] Sign (Left)
    Best
    Episode
[02:05] Sign (Left)
    Best
    Episode
[02:05] Sign (Top)
    Surprise Gift Campaign
[02:05] Sign (Middle)
    to choose from?!
[02:05] Sign (Bottom)
    A masterpiece
[02:05] Sign (Bottom)
    A masterpiece
[02:05] Sign (Bottom)
    greater than Momotaro?!
[02:05] Sign (Bottom)
    greater than Momotaro?!
[02:07] Nokio
    It's got all kinds of exaggerations on it!
[02:08] Meisaku
    You wanted people to come see it that badly?
[02:11] Dasaku
    Okay, I'll allow you to stay and
    watch my trash picture story show.
[02:16] Bolt
    Even though I know it'll be bad,
    I can't fight the urge to see it!
[02:20] Nokio
    It's the kind of trash we can't not see...
    What on earth are we gonna do?
[02:24] Meisaku
    Why don't we just watch it?
[02:25] Bolt
    Good idea.
[02:26] Sign
    Once upon a time,
[02:26] Dasaku
    Once upon a time,
[02:28] Dasaku
    there lived an old man and an old woman.
[02:28] Sign
    there lived an old man and an old woman
[02:30] Musubi
    Fairly standard opening.
[02:31] Dasaku
    The old man went up the
    mountainside to cut grass.
[02:31] Sign
    The old man went up the mountainside to cut grass
[02:33] Nokio
    Huh? It suddenly went live-action!
[02:35] Dasaku
    It's another rule of trash I found out about...
[02:37] Dasaku
    "Who Wins? Live-Action Adaptation!"
[02:37] Sign
    Who Wins? Live-Action Adaptation
[02:39] Dasaku
    By adapting it into a
    live-action film no one asked for,
[02:42] ---
    it becomes trash despised by
     old fans and new fans alike.
[02:45] Bolt
    Yeah, that does happen.
[02:46] Dasaku
    The old man who was
    gathering wood suddenly...
[02:46] Sign
    The old man who was gathering wood suddenly
[02:49] Musubi
    Oh, back to drawings.
[02:50] Dasaku
    ...passed away.
[02:50] Sign
    passed away
[02:51] Meisaku
    Huh?
[02:52] Sign
    Then he reincarnated in another world for now
[02:52] Dasaku
    Then he reincarnated in
    another world for now.
[02:55] Nokio
    Why "for now"?
[02:56] Dasaku
    It's another rule of trash:
[02:58] ---
    "Jumping on the Bandwagon!"
[02:58] Sign
    Jumping on the Bandwagon
[03:00] Dasaku
    If you dabble in the in-thing,
     people will check it out.
[03:03] ---
    That's why, right now,
    you gotta isekai your characters.
[03:06] Nokio
    Don't isekai people for such
    underhanded reasons. You're the worst!
[03:09] Meisaku
    Did you forget we did that, too?
[03:11] Sign
    Then the old man streamed gameplay, his morning routine,
[03:11] Dasaku
    Then the old man streamed
    gameplay, his morning routine,
[03:11] Sign
    Gameplay
[03:11] Sign
    Morning Routine
[03:11] Sign
    Cover Song
[03:11] Sign
    Dance Cover
[03:14] Sign
    a cover song, and a dance cover
[03:14] Dasaku
    a cover song, and a dance cover.
[03:16] Musubi
    Jeez, he's all over the place!
[03:17] Bolt
    Don't pretend to be a creator
    if all you do is imitate!
[03:20] Dasaku
    Well, that's all I've got for you today.
[03:22] ---
    Next time, you'll get to see...
[03:24] ---
    ...an important announcement from the old man!
[03:24] Sign
    IMPORTANT
    ANNOUNCEMENT
[03:27] Nokio
    The kind that turns out not to be important?
[03:29] Musubi
    Or where he announces he's retiring,
    but he'll come back right away?
[03:32] Meisaku
    It's guaranteed to be trash!
[03:37] Kids
    Boo!
[03:39] Meisaku
    Everyone's super mad.
[03:41] Dasaku
    Uh-huh, yup, that's right.
[03:43] ---
    This title is...
[03:45] ---
    Say it with me now!
[03:46] All
    Absolute trash!
[03:47] Dasaku
    That's correct!
[03:48] ---
    If it sounds interesting but ends up
    sucking, it's the trashiest of trash!
[03:52] Bolt
    It's the worst.
[03:53] Dasaku
    Well then, that concludes
    this week's Meisaku-Kun.
[03:57] Meisaku
    Huh? Uh... that's the end?
[03:58] Dasaku
    That's right.
[03:59] Meisaku
    Y'know, your face looks kind of odd...
[04:01] Dasaku
    This is another rule of trash:
[04:03] Sign
    QUALITY
[04:03] Dasaku
    "QUALITY!"
[04:04] Dasaku
    In trash anime, the art's
     only good at the start.
[04:06] ---
    Later in the series, the art
    takes a nosedive, so watch out.
[04:09] Meisaku
    Meisaku-Kun isn't a trash anime, you know!
[04:13] Narrator
    And they all lived happily ever after!
SIGN    Aware! Meisaku-Kun