E213 - A Fitness Game Where Even Dogs Can Lose Weight!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] All
    Aware! Meisaku-Kun!
SIGN    Aware! Meisaku-Kun
[00:06] Lassi
    Got your smartphones ready?
[00:08] Lassi
    All righty.
[00:08] Lassi
    Get online now!
[00:10] Nokio
    Aw man, it's sold out already!
[00:12] Sweets
    Same here.
[00:13] Lassi
    Goddamn!
[00:14] Meisaku
    What are you making them do?
[00:15] Lassi
    I want this fitness game
     that's in short supply,
[00:17] Lassi
    so I asked these two to snap it up
     as soon as it's back in stock online.
[00:20] Meisaku
    Don't use your students
     for things like that!
[00:22] Musubi
    What are fitness games?
[00:24] Meisaku
    A workout in the form of a video game.
[00:24] Sign
    Episode 213
    A Fitness Game Where Even Dogs Can Lose Weight!
[00:26] Meisaku
    Even people who don't usually
     play video games play them.
[00:28] Lassi
    I've gained a teensy bit of weight lately
     because I haven't been exercising.
[00:32] Meisaku
    Sounds more than a "teensy" bit.
[00:33] Lassi
    At this rate, it'll flag up in my physical.
[00:35] Nokio
    You have physicals?
[00:37] Meisaku
    But you're a dog.
[00:38] Sweets
    Hey, isn't there a fitness
    game in that other world?
[00:41] Meisaku
    Hm, yeah, there might be.
[00:42] Lassi
    What are you talking about?
[00:43] Sweets
    Well, this and that happened, and a door in
     Meisaku's house now leads to another world.
[00:44] Sign (Bottom Right)
    Schoolboy
[00:44] Sign (Bottom Right)
    Schoolboy
[00:44] Sign (Bottom Right)
    Meisaku Matsuda
[00:44] Sign (Bottom Right)
    Meisaku Matsuda
[00:44] Sign
    Rare
[00:47] Lassi
    Fan...
[00:48] Meisaku
    Fan?
[00:49] Lassi
    Fantabulassi!
[00:50] Meisaki
    "Fantabulassi"?!
[00:52] Lassi
    I'll be making a home visit today!
[00:54] Meisaku
    I know you're only coming to play the game!
[00:57] Sign (Right Top)
    Calories
    Burned
[00:58] Sign (Left Top)
    Lassi
[00:58] Sweets
    So now, we're in another world, and
    conveniently, it's the fitness game world.
[01:02] Lassi
    Okay! With this game,
    I can lose weight healthily.
[01:05] Ring Fit
    Hello, Lassi-san.
[01:06] Lassi
    Who the heck is this?
[01:07] Nokio
    Must be the game's instructor.
[01:09] Ring Fit
    I am the Instruc-dog and I
    specialize in exercises for dogs.
[01:12] Sign
    Instruc-dog
[01:12] Sign
    Instruc-dog
[01:14] Meisaku
    It's called the Instruc-dog.
[01:15] Ring Fit
    I'll do everything I can to
     support you to lose weight.
[01:18] Lassi
    That's reassuring to hear.
[01:19] Ring Fit
    If you fail to lose weight, I'll take
    full responsibility and cease to exist.
[01:23] Musubi
    What a strong sense of duty!
[01:25] Lassi
    This all sounds very promising!
[01:26] Ring Fit
    Please choose your game mode.
[01:26] Sign
    Casual Mode
[01:26] Sign
    1% Survival Mode
[01:26] Sign
    99% You Die Mode
[01:29] Meisaku
    They're all tough except for Casual Mode.
[01:31] Musubi
    The bottom two are practically the same.
[01:33] Lassi
    Obviously, I'm going with the one at the top.
[01:34] Sign
    Casual Mode
[01:34] Sign
    Casual Mode
[01:34] Sign
    Casual Mode
[01:34] Sign
    Casual Mode
[01:34] Sign
    Casual Mode
[01:36] Ring Fit
    Are you sure?
[01:36] Sign (Left Top)
    Lassi
[01:36] Sign (Right Top)
    Calories
    Burned
[01:37] Lassi
    Yes, I am.
[01:38] Ring Fit
    Are you sure you're okay with
    always taking the easy route in life?
[01:43] Meisaku
    Don't ask such a deep question.
[01:46] Sign (Right Top)
    Calories
    Burned
[01:46] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[01:46] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Running
[01:46] Sign (Left Top)
    Lassi
[01:47] Ring Fit
    Come on, faster! Run as fast as you can!
[01:49] Sweets
    He's already looking tired.
[01:51] Ring Fit
    Very good. I love that
    look of pain on your face!
[01:53] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[01:53] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Running
[01:53] Nokio
    You're praising that?
[01:55] Ring Fit
    Show me even more pain on that face!
[01:57] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[01:57] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Running
[01:57] Meisaku
    Why do you sound so happy?
[01:59] Ring Fit
    They're all looking.
    They're all looking at you.
[02:01] Ring Fit
    The students you usually boss around
    are watching this pathetic sight!
[02:05] Lassi
    How embarrassing!
[02:07] Ring Fit
    When you're embarrassed, your
    temperature goes up and it burns off fat.
[02:07] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:07] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Running
[02:11] Meisaku
    That's a horrible way to burn fat.
[02:14] Meisaku
    A monster appeared!
[02:15] Ring Fit
    By doing strength training,
    you can deal damage to the monster.
[02:18] Nokio
    Oh, I see. The training's part of the game.
[02:20] Lassi
    S-Squat!
[02:22] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:22] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Squat
[02:22] Meisaku
    That did damage to it!
[02:23] Lassi
    It's tough, but I can do this!
[02:25] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:25] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Squat
[02:25] Musubi
    Ah, the monster healed itself!
[02:27] Lassi
    Squat!
[02:28] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:28] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Squat
[02:29] Lassi
    Squat, squat!
[02:32] Lassi
    It's so hard!
[02:33] Meisaku
    It's got unlimited healing.
[02:33] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:33] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Squat
[02:34] Nokio
    This game is so unbalanced!
[02:37] Lassi
    What can I do to deal more damage?
[02:39] Ring Fit
    To defeat this monster,
[02:41] Ring Fit
    you must carry two desks and
    pull a large truck tied to your waist.
[02:45] Meisaku
    That's impossible!
[02:45] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[02:45] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Squat
[02:46] Sweets
    Are all fitness games this tough?
[02:48] Meisaku
    This really is too tough.
[02:50] Meisaku
    This is Casual Mode, isn't it?
[02:52] Nokio
    Ah, wait, it's not Casual Mode after all.
[02:53] Sign
    99% You Die Mode
[02:53] Sign
    Casual Mode
[02:53] Sign
    1% Survival Mode
[02:55] Nokio
    It actually says Casualty Mode!
[02:55] Sign (Close Up)
    Casual ty Mode
[02:57] Meisaku
    "Casualty" Mode?! So it's actually hard?
[03:01] Sweets
    If this keeps up, Lassi-sensei's gonna die!
[03:01] Sign (Left Top)
    Lassi
[03:01] Sign (Right Top)
    Calories
    Burned
[03:01] Sign (Bottom Left)
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[03:01] Sign (Bottom Left)
    Squat
[03:04] Meisaku
    I know! Let's get Lassi-sensei to bulk up.
[03:06] Nokio
    Huh? Bulk up?
[03:07] Meisaku
    If he fails to lose weight,
    the Instruc-dog ceases to exist!
[03:11] Musubi
    As luck would have it,
    I brought lots of bread.
[03:13] Nokio
    Good job, luck!
[03:14] Meisaku
    Please eat these, Lassi-sensei!
[03:15] Lassi
    No, stop—
[03:18] Ring Fit
    Warning: you're gaining weight.
[03:18] Sign (Left Top)
    Lassi
[03:18] Sign (Right Top)
    Calories
    Burned
[03:20] Ring Fit
    Warning: you're gaining weight.
[03:23] Ring Fit
    Warn...
[03:24] Sign (Left Top)
    Lassi
[03:24] Sign (Right Top)
    Calories
    Burned
[03:24] Ring Fit
    Your weight... Your weight...
[03:27] Sign (Left Top)
    Lassi
[03:27] Sign (Right Top)
    Calories
    Burned
[03:28] Ring Fit
    Weight loss: failed!
[03:32] Nok/Mus/Swe
    Game completed!
[03:33] Meisaku
    I think "game over" is more accurate.
[03:38] Lassi
    Since losing weight can be
    dangerous, I've given up trying.
[03:41] Lassi
    So, Meisaku...
[03:42] Lassi
    Run and fetch me some custard buns!
[03:44] Meisaku
    You're the one who should be running.
[03:46] Narrator
    And they all lived happily ever after!
SIGN    Aware! Meisaku-Kun