E3 - Romance Is, Generally, Pretty Hard

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Nasa
    Sometimes, timing can be a nightmare.
[00:05] Nasa
    Wow, this tea is really good.
[00:08] Tsukasa
    I'm glad you like it.
[00:10] Nasa
    Thanks for everything, Tsukasa-chan.
[00:14] Nasa
    Who'd be messaging me this late?
SIGN    Shirogane
SIGN    Shirogane
SIGN    I love you
[00:21] Tsukasa
    D-Darling?
[00:24] Nasa
    I-It's not what you think! This has
     to be some kind of mistake!
SIGN    Shirogane
SIGN    This message has been deleted.
[00:29] Nasa
    S-See? It was deleted!
[00:31] Nasa
    I think it was really just a mistake!
[00:33] Tsukasa
    Sulk!
[00:35] Nasa
    Hang on, Tsukasa-chan!
[00:37] Nasa
    I swear! It's not like that!
[00:40] Tsukasa
    Sulk!
SIGN    TONIKAWA
SIGN    TONIKAWA
SIGN    Romance Is, Generally, Pretty Hard
[02:16] Nasa
    What in the world was that yesterday?
[02:20] Nasa
    The message was deleted right away,
    but she probably knows I saw it...
[02:26] Shirogane
    Yuzaki-sensei!
[02:29] Nasa
    Shirogane-san...
[02:31] Shirogane
    Could I trouble you for a second?
[02:34] Nasa
    Yeah, I saw this coming.
[02:38] Shirogane
    I'm sure you realize this,
    but that was a mistake.
[02:42] Nasa
    R-Right.
[02:43] Shirogane
    That was sent to you by accident.
[02:46] Shirogane
    I don't have those kinds of feelings for you.
[02:48] Nasa
    O-Of course, I know.
[02:51] Nasa
    I mean, I'm married, for one thing.
[02:53] Shirogane
    Exactly!
[02:54] Shirogane
    I wouldn't fall for someone
    who's already married!
[02:59] Shirogane
    And while we're on the topic, Sensei...
[03:00] Nasa
    Yes?
[03:01] Shirogane
    You haven't told anyone
    else about this, have you?
SIGN    Rumble
[03:07] Nasa
    Of course not.
[03:09] Nasa
    Falling in love with someone
    is a serious thing.
[03:14] Nasa
    So I don't think it's right
    to make fun of people for it.
[03:17] Shirogane
    A-As long as you understand.
[03:19] Nasa
    W-Well, now that we've cleared the air,
[03:22] Nasa
    I should get going—
[03:23] Shirogane
    Wait, please!
[03:26] Shirogane
    I'm really sorry for any
    trouble this caused you.
[03:30] Shirogane
    And, well, I was wondering... if you
    could give me some romantic advice...
[03:37] Nasa
    I... really just come here to
    teach programming, y'know...
[03:41] Shirogane
    Two months ago,
[03:43] Shirogane
    Kurenai's boyfriend became a total shut-in.
[03:46] Shirogane
    We went to his house together,
    but couldn't do anything.
[03:51] Shirogane
    But then the student council president
    from her boyfriend's school showed up.
[03:56] Shirogane
    And as soon as he did,
[03:58] Shirogane
    he kicked the door in and
    dragged her boyfriend out!
[04:03] Shirogane
    They headed straight to the
    riverbank and started brawling.
[04:07] Shirogane
    Once they both ran out of strength,
    they immediately made up.
[04:12] Shirogane
    And then Kurenai's boyfriend
    started going to class again.
[04:15] Nasa
    Wait. This all happened in the present day?
[04:18] Shirogane
    I get it. It's such a stupid thing to do.
[04:21] Shirogane
    Stupid and crazy...
[04:24] Shirogane
    But... it was so manly,
    and it made my heart throb.
[04:29] Shirogane
    And he said to get in touch
    if there was any more trouble.
[04:33] Shirogane
    So we traded contact info, but...
[04:36] Shirogane
    Nothing has really happened since.
[04:39] Nasa
    I see. So, when you were playing
    around with your phone,
[04:42] Nasa
    you accidentally sent that message to me.
[04:44] Shirogane
    Right.
[04:45] Shirogane
    To be honest, I never thought
    I'd like someone like him!
[04:49] Shirogane
    He's crazy and violent, and I don't
     understand a thing he says!
[04:53] Shirogane
    But... when I think about him, it's like...
[04:58] Shirogane
    I start feeling so warm all over.
[05:02] Nasa
    I see. I understand how you feel.
[05:05] Nasa
    I felt that kind of longing
    for my wife for years.
[05:08] Shirogane
    You did?
[05:10] Nasa
    Yeah!
[05:11] Nasa
    It hurts in the chest, right?
[05:13] Nasa
    So I'm rooting for you.
[05:14] Shirogane
    I-In that case...
[05:16] Shirogane
    Will you help me tell him how I feel?
[05:24] Nasa
    Tsukasa-chan...
[05:25] Nasa
    What kind of romantic
    advice should I give her?
[05:29] Tsukasa
    Let's see...
[05:30] Tsukasa
    Well, if you really need romantic advice,
[05:33] Tsukasa
    it'd be a good idea to buy Tsukasa-chan
    some really tasty sweets.
[05:37] Nasa
    I-It would?!
[05:38] Tsukasa
    Are you really getting dragged into
    that kind of stuff at the girls' school?
[05:42] Nasa
    Yeah...
[05:44] Nasa
    To be honest, I don't really get
    stuff like confessions and whatnot.
[05:48] Tsukasa
    Why not?
[05:49] Nasa
    I mean, if you like someone,
    why not just tell them?
[05:52] Tsukasa
    Oh, yeah, I forgot he was like this.
[05:55] Tsukasa
    That's true. You do tend to be pretty direct.
[05:58] Nasa
    Do I? I always figured it was normal.
[06:01] Tsukasa
    No, I definitely don't think so.
[06:04] Tsukasa
    You're able to do that because you're strong.
[06:08] Tsukasa
    But most people don't start
    out strong in that way.
[06:13] Tsukasa
    Which is why...
[06:15] Tsukasa
    The thing you need when it
    comes to romance is a strategy.
[06:19] Nasa
    Strategy?
[06:21] Tsukasa
    Exactly!
[06:23] Tsukasa
    Listen closely! Romance is
    essentially a game of wits!
[06:26] Tsukasa
    A contest where victory or failure awaits!
[06:28] Nasa
    It is?!
[06:29] Tsukasa
    It is! And what is it that you need to win?!
[06:33] Nasa
    U-Um... to gather intel?
[06:36] Tsukasa
    Exactly!
[06:38] Tsukasa
    So step one should be collecting information!
[06:40] Tsukasa
    Observe the target in secret in
    order to learn their weak points!
[06:43] Tsukasa
    Once you have that,
    this romance is a fait accompli!
[06:48] Nasa
    But that... sounds like stalker behavior.
[06:53] Tsukasa
    When a cute girl does it,
    it's not stalking. It's true love.
[06:58] Nasa
    What a double standard!
[07:02] Nasa
    Well, okay. I'll give her
    advice along those lines.
[07:06] Tsukasa
    Right! Lay it all out for her.
[07:10] Aya
    I managed to break 10,000 subscribers
    on my streaming channel!
[07:15] Tsukasa
    Oh, you did? Congratulations.
[07:18] Aya
    Thanks!
[07:20] Tsukasa
    That's probably a big deal, right?
[07:23] Aya
    I think so. Even though all I'm doing is
    commentating while playing video games.
[07:27] Aya
    But I think that might be enough
    for people to get it, y'know?
[07:30] Tsukasa
    G-Get what?
[07:32] Aya
    My overwhelming wit and class.
[07:37] Tsukasa
    Yeah, I bet that's it.
[07:39] Aya
    It so is!
[07:41] Aya
    I can't help but bewitch people,
    even when all I do is talk!
[07:44] Ginga
    Y'know...
[07:46] Ginga
    Nothing good comes of drawing
    a lot of attention like that.
[07:51] Tsukasa
    Hey, look who turned up.
[07:53] Ginga
    Good afternoon, Big Sis. I happened
    to be in the neighborhood.
[07:57] Aya
    What do you mean, nothing good comes of it?!
[08:00] Ginga
    It's bad for the nerves, for one thing.
[08:03] Ginga
    Lately, I feel like someone's watching me.
[08:07] Aya
    What are you talking about?
    You're probably just paranoid.
[08:09] Ginga
    C'mon, I'm not some civvie like you.
[08:11] Aya
    Civvie?!
[08:13] Ginga
    Someone has me dead-set in their crosshairs.
[08:16] Tsukasa
    Well, that definitely sounds like trouble.
[08:19] Ginga
    Yep.
[08:20] Aya
    What, like a stalker?
[08:23] Ginga
    That'd be my bet.
[08:24] Ginga
    It's like someone's watching
    me from a distance,
[08:27] Ginga
    trying to scope out my
    weak points or something.
[08:30] Tsukasa
    I see. Well, that makes it simple.
[08:34] Tsukasa
    You need to find whoever's behind this,
     and really let them have it!
[08:39] Ginga
    But it could be some cute schoolgirl
    who's got a crush on me!
[08:43] Tsukasa
    What difference does it make?!
[08:44] Tsukasa
    You never know when a stalker
    will turn dangerous.
[08:48] Tsukasa
    Doesn't matter if she's a schoolgirl! No mercy!
[08:51] Ginga
    I get it...
[08:52] Aya
    It could always just be a mix-up, y'know.
[08:55] Ginga
    What?!
[08:56] Aya
    I mean, it'd be one thing if they
    had their eye on a babe like me,
[08:59] Aya
    but who'd be crazy enough to
    chase after a goon like you?
[09:04] Ginga
    Who are you calling a goon?!
    I happen to be a real sensitive guy!
[09:07] Aya
    How?! You're like a bad
    attitude in a cheap suit!
[09:10] Ginga
    How dare you?!
[09:11] Ginga
    Come with me, then! I'll prove
     to you someone's after me!
[09:15] Aya
    Fine! You're probably
    just feeling cold stares!
[09:18] Ginga
    I'll have you know that I inspire
    hot-blooded passion everywhere I go!
[09:18] Tsukasa
    A rom-com. They're straight out of a rom-com.
[09:21] Aya
    Well, I happen to be extremely gorgeous—
[09:24] Shirogane
    Looking for his weak points?
[09:26] Nasa
    Exactly. What better way to start than
    by learning about the other person?
[09:30] Shirogane
    I see... In that case, Sensei,
    could you come with me later?
[09:35] Nasa
    Where to?
[09:36] Shirogane
    A place that he always passes by.
[09:38] Shirogane
    I'd like you to see what he's like, too.
[09:42] Aya
    Come on...
[09:43] Aya
    No one is paying you any attention at all.
[09:46] Ginga
    Pipe down. We've barely even started.
[09:48] Aya
    You sure you didn't imagine it?
[09:50] Ginga
    It ain't that! They're just being
    cautious 'cause you're here.
[09:54] Aya
    I'm not so sure—wait!
[09:56] Ginga
    Wh-What is it?!
[09:58] Aya
    A new crêpe cart! I want crêpes!
[10:02] Ginga
    Why in the hell would
    you scream about that?!
[10:04] Ginga
    I thought something was going down!
[10:06] Aya
    But it's a new crêpe cart!
[10:09] Ginga
    Damn, girl, it's just crêpes...
[10:13] Ginga
    But you're right, we'd better check it out!
[10:15] Aya
    Right?!
[10:18] Shirogane
    He always walks this way.
[10:21] Nasa
    I see.
[10:22] Shirogane
    I think it's his route home from school.
[10:25] Shirogane
    So we should probably hide soon!
[10:28] Nasa
    We should?
[10:29] Shirogane
    Well, of course!
[10:31] Shirogane
    I know you're my teacher, but if
    he sees me with another man...
[10:35] Shirogane
    I don't want him getting the wrong idea.
[10:38] Nasa
    You must really like him
    a lot, Shirogane-san.
[10:42] Nasa
    I can sort of tell how sincere you are.
[10:47] Nasa
    I really hope you'll be able
    to tell him how you feel.
[10:51] Shirogane
    Here he comes! That's him!
[11:04] Shirogane
    Wha...
[11:05] Nasa
    Ginga-kun and Aya-san?
[11:08] Nasa
    It's probably just a coincidence that
    they look like they're on a date...
[11:11] Nasa
    Wait... Does this mean the person you like is...
[11:14] Nasa
    Is...
[11:17] Nasa
    Hey, wait!
[11:19] Nasa
    Shirogane-san!
[11:29] Nasa
    Excuse me, Shirogane-san.
[11:32] Shirogane
    I'm sorry, Sensei... but it makes sense, huh?
[11:36] Shirogane
    It's obvious someone as nice
    as him would have a girlfriend.
[11:42] Nasa
    No, I'm pretty sure she's
    not Ginga-kun's girlfriend.
[11:46] Shirogane
    Huh?!
[11:47] Nasa
    Ginga-kun's a relative of mine,
[11:49] Nasa
    and that girl is a friend of mine, too.
[11:51] Shirogane
    What?!
[11:53] Nasa
    So based on what I know,
    those two aren't dating.
[12:00] Shirogane
    Wh-What a relief!
[12:03] Nasa
    And with that being the case,
    you don't need to cry.
[12:08] Shirogane
    Thank you for telling me.
[12:10] Shirogane
    But... I know for sure now.
[12:14] Shirogane
    I really must like him.
[12:19] Nasa
    In that case, you should go and tell him.
[12:23] Shirogane
    Right now?
[12:25] Nasa
    Yeah!
[12:25] Shirogane
    B-But that's so... I don't know if I'm ready.
[12:30] Nasa
    You know, Shirogane-san...
[12:33] Nasa
    The reason we can see the stars in the sky
    is because there are limits to the universe.
[12:37] Shirogane
    Huh?
[12:38] Nasa
    If the universe was really endless,
[12:41] Nasa
    filled with an infinite
    number of shining stars,
[12:45] Nasa
    there are people who theorized that
[12:47] Nasa
    the sky would be bright
    around the clock as a result.
[12:52] Nasa
    But that's not reality.
[12:55] Nasa
    As you know, the sky turns dark at night,
[12:58] Nasa
    with space in between all the stars.
[13:01] Nasa
    That's a sign that the universe
    is a limited space, not infinite.
[13:07] Nasa
    Even space, as massive as it is, has an end...
[13:10] Nasa
    And as many stars as there seem
    to be, their numbers are finite.
[13:14] Nasa
    The same goes for opportunity.
[13:17] Nasa
    It may seem like there'll
    always be another chance,
[13:19] Nasa
    but you only get a certain number.
[13:21] Nasa
    Which is why you can't
    afford to doubt yourself.
[13:24] Shirogane
    I-I understand.
[13:27] Shirogane
    I'm going to tell him how I feel!
[13:30] Nasa
    Good!
[13:31] Shirogane
    Th-That said...
[13:34] Shirogane
    What kind of place is best for a confession?
[13:38] Nasa
    Good question.
[13:40] Nasa
    Maybe a place where you'll have privacy...
[13:43] Nasa
    Somewhere dark and secluded?
[13:47] Aya
    So, I'm noticing no one
    has come after you at all.
[13:51] Aya
    This has gotta just be a misunderstanding.
[13:53] Ginga
    In that case, I'll just have to set a trap.
[13:58] Aya
    A trap?
[13:59] Ginga
    Yeah. Over there, for instance.
[14:01] Ginga
    If I wait by myself in a dark,
    secluded space like that,
[14:04] Ginga
    it might make them think they have a chance.
[14:06] Aya
    I see. But what if they actually do show up?
[14:11] Ginga
    Ain't it obvious?
[14:13] Ginga
    I lay them out the second I see them.
[14:17] Ginga
    Well, I'm off.
[14:19] Aya
    Hey!
[14:24] Shirogane
    Sensei! Look!
[14:26] Shirogane
    Ginga-kun just went into a dark, secluded
    space by himself for some reason!
[14:29] Shirogane
    Th-This might be my chance!
[14:32] Nasa
    I think so!
[14:35] Shirogane
    Okay, then, off I go!
[14:37] Nasa
    Yeah! Good luck!
[14:48] Shirogane
    Excuse me!
[14:51] Shirogane
    I-I...
[14:53] Shirogane
    I wanted you to know...
[14:55] Shirogane
    I like—
[14:57] Shirogane
    ...you?
[15:02] Shirogane
    Huh?
[15:05] Punk
    How'd you know I was there?
[15:08] Ginga
    You thought I wouldn't notice when
    someone wanted my blood that badly?
[15:13] Shirogane
    Huh?!
[15:14] Punk
    Damn it! This ain't over!
[15:17] Ginga
    Better luck next time, punk.
[15:20] Ginga
    Sorry about that, miss. You all right?
[15:25] Shirogane
    Y-Yes...
[15:26] Ginga
    It can be rough around these parts.
[15:29] Ginga
    Be careful on your way home.
[15:36] Shirogane
    W-Wait!
[15:39] Shirogane
    Um... I...
[15:41] Shirogane
    I like you!
[15:53] Ginga
    That right?
[15:55] Ginga
    Thanks.
[16:05] Nasa
    Maybe romance is a little hard
    for such a manly man to grasp?
[16:12] Tsukasa
    So...
[16:13] Tsukasa
    What happened to them after that?
[16:16] Nasa
    Nothing at all, really.
[16:19] Tsukasa
    Being a teacher must be rough.
[16:25] Nasa
    Okay, I'm heading out.
[16:27] Tsukasa
    See you later.
[16:32] Tsukasa
    Nasa-kun is off to the
    girls' school again today.
[16:36] Tsukasa
    I realize it's a job,
[16:38] Tsukasa
    and I can understand why the students
    like him, with how considerate he is.
[16:41] Tsukasa
    I do, but...
[16:44] Tsukasa
    I... might be feeling jealous.
[16:50] Tsukasa
    It's not like I suspect he's cheating on me.
[16:54] Tsukasa
    Nasa-kun is loyal and serious,
    so I doubt he'd even considerate it.
[17:00] Tsukasa
    And yet... and in spite of that...
[17:03] Tsukasa
    I still have this... uncomfortable feeling!
[17:07] Tsukasa
    No, what am I even talking about?
[17:12] Tsukasa
    Jealousy is born from a lack of trust.
[17:17] Tsukasa
    It's a sign of your own weakness.
[17:21] Tsukasa
    But...
[17:25] Tsukasa
    A girls' school...
[17:27] Tsukasa
    A place where young, cute girls
    make a silly fuss all the time.
[17:32] Tsukasa
    What am I gonna do if he thinks, "Huh,
    my wife isn't like that," in comparison?!
[17:40] Tsukasa
    Now, now, calm down.
    Nasa-kun wouldn't think like that. It's fine.
[17:44] Tsukasa
    Boo! Boo!
[17:46] Tsukasa
    How can you be so sure?!
[17:47] Tsukasa
    Darling's a red-blooded man, y'know!
[17:50] Tsukasa
    Yeah, tell her! Tell her!
[17:53] Tsukasa
    It's not a concern.
[17:56] Tsukasa
    The reason is because my darling...
[17:58] Tsukasa
    loves me more than anyone else!
[18:04] Tsukasa
    Yeah, that's right!
[18:06] Tsukasa
    There's no room for any
    doubt that he loves me.
[18:11] Tsukasa
    Which means this is just, y'know...
[18:18] Tsukasa
    Just a bit of loneliness, is all.
[18:23] Usa
    Is your wife feeling lonely
    now that you have this new gig?
[18:26] Nasa
    Huh?
[18:27] Usa
    I mean, I can't imagine a newlywed
    wife being cool with her husband
[18:30] Usa
    running off to a girls' school all the time!
[18:33] Nasa
    Oh, no, I'm not worried about that.
[18:36] Nasa
    My wife is the last person
    I'd associate with jealousy.
[18:40] Usa
    But, Sensei, it's people like that
    who can be surprisingly possessive!
[18:45] Nasa
    Huh? Really?
[18:47] Usa
    I mean, yeah!
[18:49] Usa
    The cooler and quieter
    they are most of the time,
[18:51] Usa
    the more you can never be
    sure what they're thinking.
[18:54] Usa
    Take our princess, for example.
[18:56] Usa
    Hey, wait, where is Kaguya?
[18:59] Kurenai
    Kaguya said she wanted to do some thinking
    in that bamboo forest of hers and went home.
[19:05] Usa
    See?! The cool types are
    the most unpredictable!
[19:08] Nasa
    Y-You might be right.
[19:11] Nasa
    But... Tsukasa-chan being jealous?
[19:14] Nasa
    If that was true, it'd be so cute,
    I wouldn't know what to do.
[19:23] Nasa
    Tsukasa-chan?
[19:34] Nasa
    Tsukasa-chan!
[19:35] Nasa
    What are you doing here?
[19:37] Tsukasa
    W-Well, I was just...
[19:39] Tsukasa
    I was taking a walk when
    I got chased by a stray dog,
[19:42] Tsukasa
    and then after helping a lost senior citizen,
[19:44] Tsukasa
    I saw your school and
    figured I'd check it out.
[19:48] Nasa
    I thought you might've gotten
    lonely and came to see me.
[19:52] Tsukasa
    W-W-W-Well, that's obviously not true!
[19:54] Tsukasa
    It takes more than this to make me feel lonely!
[19:58] Nasa
    Oh, okay.
[19:59] Nasa
    I was a bit lonely, though.
[20:04] Tsukasa
    You were?
[20:05] Nasa
    Of course.
[20:07] Nasa
    I always miss you when
    we're apart, Tsukasa-chan.
[20:09] Tsukasa
    Do you wanna walk home together, then?
[20:11] Nasa
    No, I have to head back for a little bit.
[20:16] Tsukasa
    Oh. Really?
[20:18] Nasa
    Tsukasa-chan, your... face is doing a thing.
[20:22] Tsukasa
    So, even though your darling
    newlywed wife is here,
[20:27] Tsukasa
    you'd rather go fool around
    with those high school girls?
[20:32] Nasa
    Not at all.
[20:34] Nasa
    You're the only one I want to
    fool around with, Tsukasa-chan.
[20:40] Usa
    Oh, damn! And when the
    school is right over there!
[20:44] Kurenai
    Newlyweds will flirt anywhere, huh?
[20:47] Tsukasa
    W-Well, darling, good luck with work!
[20:50] Nasa
    Th-Thanks, I'll try hard!
[20:52] Tsukasa
    Good!
[20:52] Nasa
    Good luck with what you're doing, too!
[21:01] Tsukasa
    Feels like I keep spinning my wheels lately.
[21:10] Tsukasa
    Guess I'll head home for now.
[21:36] Kaguya
    Has your long journey finally ended?
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[23:25] Tsukasa
    I had a dream. One about the distant past.
[23:28] Kaguya
    I keep having the same dream.
    One where someone is crying.
[23:31] Tsukasa
    I thought there would never be an end
    to my aimless, wandering journey.
[23:34] Tsukasa
    But then I met you...
[23:37] Kaguya
    Has your long journey finally ended?