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E4 - Black Tortoise ver

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] ---
    Woo-woo!
[00:06] ---
    Woo-woo! Your bestie is so metal.
[00:10] ---
    Shaddup! Pipimi ain't a metalhead!
[00:13] ---
    Let's go, Pipimi.
[00:15] ---
    I'm not a metalhead.
[01:22] ---
    Can you do it?
[01:24] ---
    Yeah.
[01:25] ---
    Can you do it?
[01:27] ---
    Yeah!
[01:28] ---
    Show me what you got!
[01:30] ---
    Wanna fight? Bing, pow, zap!
[01:33] ---
    Good. You're serious.
[01:37] ---
    I can see it in your eyes.
[01:43] ---
    I couldn't do it.
[01:54] ---
    Sexy Mobile Voice, Sexy Mobile Voice!
    Go, go, go, you sexy mobile boys.

[01:59] ---
    Service, please!
[01:59] ---
    It's a sexy voice for you.
[02:04] ---
    Nuru...
[02:06] ---
    Senbei...
[02:10] ---
    It's a sexy voice.
    A strong, sexy voice, baby.

[02:11] ---
    You sell that?
[02:12] ---
    We do.
[02:14] ---
    You can sell that?
[02:25] ---
    Are you ready?
[02:26] ---
    Yeah.
SIGN    #13 The Convenience Store
    by Space Cat Company

[02:36] ---
    Next up, we have a duo
    that'll definitely dominate!

[02:40] ---
    Pop Team Epic!
[02:45] ---
    I'm Popuko.
[02:46] ---
    I'm Pipimi.
[02:47] ---
    And together, we're Pop Team Epic.
[02:50] ---
    So, Pipimi, I was thinking of getting
    a job when I enter high school.
[02:54] ---
    We're 14 right now.
[02:57] ---
    After all, we were on a
    commercial for a job magazine.
[03:00] ---
    "Want a job? Choose Town***"
[03:01] ---
    Wrong commercial.
[03:03] ---
    It was "An ga An-jan."
[03:05] ---
    It was an easy job where we
    just danced around an actress.
[03:08] ---
    Don't say that.
[03:11] ---
    So, what kinda job do you want?
[03:13] ---
    Convenience store clerk, amirite?
[03:15] ---
    Short skit: "Clerks."
[03:20] ---
    Man, I'm all alone. No customers...
    I'm not even supposed to be here today.
[03:26] ---
    I'm a robber! Gimme your money!
[03:28] ---
    Ah! A robber!
[03:30] ---
    Put all the money in that bag.
[03:32] ---
    Oh no!
[03:34] ---
    If you don't hurry up, I'll blow you away.
    With my gun.
[03:38] ---
    Amazing!
[03:39] ---
    Get a move on!
[03:41] ---
    Okay!
[03:42] ---
    I'm one of the Great Old Ones!
[03:44] ---
    Oh no!
[03:45] ---
    Non-believers repent!
[03:47] ---
    Money first!
[03:50] ---
    Repent first.
[03:53] ---
    Money!
[03:54] ---
    Repent.
[03:56] ---
    Money!
[03:57] ---
    Re...
[03:58] ---
    Whoa, whoa, hold it, old timer.
[04:01] ---
    What's your deal?
[04:03] ---
    This is my hit. Outta my way.
[04:06] ---
    Like I care? Outta my way, stupid kid!
    You're just acting anyway, right?
[04:10] ---
    Just try me, buddy! Just try me!
[04:13] ---
    Now you've done it!
[04:15] ---
    Oh, you went there!
[04:15] ---
    Say your prayers!
[04:16] ---
    Fight me!
[04:17] ---
    Cut it out!
[04:19] ---
    Both of you...
[04:20] ---
    Get outta my store!
[04:29] ---
    We have you surrounded.
[04:32] ---
    Give up your weapons and surrender.
[04:37] ---
    What's her deal?
[04:39] ---
    Allow me to explain.
[04:40] ---
    Who're you?
[04:41] ---
    Colonel Pipimi, Department of Defense.
[04:44] ---
    I created her.
[04:45] ---
    You "created" her?
[04:47] ---
    She's an ultimate soldier, thrown into the
    Vietnam War with a special forces unit.
[04:52] ---
    And I was her commander.
[04:55] ---
    I am the only one who can reach her now.
[04:58] ---
    Don't act until I give the signal.
[05:01] ---
    O-Okay.
[05:04] ---
    I'm coming in, Popuko.
[05:06] ---
    Don't worry. I'm alone and unarmed.
[05:10] ---
    Popuko. It's over. You can't escape.
[05:13] ---
    Snipers have you in their scopes.
    Just look at this mess.
[05:17] ---
    This isn't Vietnam. It's America.
[05:19] ---
    The war is over.
[05:22] ---
    Nothing's over for me.
    Nothing's over for me, man!
[05:26] ---
    The war is still going hard in my brain.
[05:30] ---
    I fought fiercely, like you commanded,
    but I couldn't defeat them.
[05:35] ---
    Then when I came home,
    everyone gave me hell for what I did.
[05:38] ---
    Well, screw them! They have no
    idea what I've been through.
[05:41] ---
    It was a bad era to live through.
[05:43] ---
    It "was" bad?
    It hasn't gotten even slightly better.
[05:47] ---
    At least I had friends on the battlefield.
[05:50] ---
    Are you going to betray their
    memory by dying here?
[05:53] ---
    I learned to operate
    a variety of weapons in 'Nam.
[05:57] ---
    But here, I can't even get a
    job as a parking attendant.
[06:02] ---
    I shouldn't have come back.
[06:04] ---
    I wish I'd died in 'Nam.
    Just like the others.
[06:08] ---
    My entire unit died! They were good kids.
[06:12] ---
    They were all such good kids.
[06:14] ---
    And none of them are with me now.
[06:17] ---
    I have these dreams every night...
[06:20] ---
    Dreams where I'm looking for their legs,
    blown off by the incendiaries.
[06:50] ---
    I think I'd rather be a waitress
    than a convenience store clerk.
[06:53] ---
    Meh. Who cares.
[06:54] ---
    Thanks, everyone!
[06:56] ---
    We're launching a new corner
    after the break!

[07:04] ---
    Bobunemimimmi!
[07:07] ---
    Pipimi, where are you?
[07:25] ---
    The mark of a true entertainer!
[07:33] ---
    Showtime!
[07:41] ---
    All the kids and grownups,
[07:44] ---
    And all the girls, too...
[07:47] ---
    Our nostalgic future is a...
[07:50] ---
    100 mega shock!
[07:53] ---
    Sexy dynamite.
[07:55] ---
    Itchy. Tasty.
[07:58] ---
    No problem.
[08:01] ---
    Everything's fine.
[08:04] ---
    It's "Gamay Obera" again!
[08:07] ---
    Pop team press "Up Up"!
    (All your...)

[08:10] ---
    Press "Down Down"!
    (Base are...)

[08:13] ---
    The final attack is bitter-sweet.
[08:19] ---
    Press "Left Right"!
    (Belong to...)

[08:22] ---
    Remember while looking at the moon!
[08:23] ---
    Press "Left Right B A"!
    (Us...)

[08:25] ---
    Turn the Indian to the right.
[09:29] ---
    Bonus question!
[09:32] ---
    One plus one is two, as you know.
[09:35] ---
    But what is one plus one?
[09:44] ---
    Two.
[09:46] ---
    Two.
[09:51] ---
    Screen protectors are easier to stick
    when you do it in the bathtub.
[09:55] ---
    I don't wanna!
[10:03] ---
    Hold it!
    Cutie Shark is in the bath right now.
[10:07] ---
    Shut up. I'm in the zone!
[10:17] ---
    Do you know what this is?
[10:19] ---
    I do, I do!
[10:20] ---
    Let's get small!
[10:27] ---
    Sweetie.
[10:29] ---
    Did you change up your shampoo?
[10:32] ---
    Nope. I haven't.
[10:35] ---
    But I did change my doll body.
[10:38] ---
    Doll body.
[10:40] ---
    Pop Team Epic: New to the Workforce!!!
[10:43] ---
    Whoa, dude! Late on the first day?
    Such bad karma!

[10:46] ---
    Ooh! I've had "Slow" cast on me!
[10:49] ---
    I'm ditching work...
[10:54] ---
    Learn your own strength...
    Why did you kill him?

[10:57] ---
    Well, he just said... "Hawawa"...
[10:59] ---
    I see.
    It's okay to kill guys who use "Hawawa."

[11:03] ---
    Hi. I'm a Multi-Creator.
[11:05] ---
    Stronger than Multi-Missile?
[11:07] ---
    Not sure.
    But Multi-Creator is super-multi.

[11:09] ---
    I fired Multi-Missiles to the Multi-Creator.
[11:12] ---
    We fired Multi-Missiles
    to the Multi-Creator!

[11:17] ---
    Pipimi, stay still.
[11:22] ---
    There was a woodpecker on you.
[11:24] ---
    Thanks.
[11:29] ---
    I know this one.
[11:30] ---
    It's about driving forever with sexy boys.
[11:33] ---
    No way. Really?
[11:34] ---
    Really.
[11:34] ---
    You're kidding me!
[11:35] ---
    Hey, that looks like me!
    Pipimi, are you stuck?
[11:38] ---
    No, I'm not stuck.
[11:40] ---
    No, I'm not.
[11:41] ---
    You are so.
[11:44] ---
    My eyes might be stuck.
[11:45] ---
    That's scary.
[11:46] ---
    I'm not stuck!
[11:47] ---
    That's scary.
[11:48] ---
    I'm not stuck.
[11:55] ---
    Woo-woo!
[11:56] ---
    Woo-woo-woo! Your bestie is so metal.
[12:00] ---
    Shaddup! Pipimi ain't a metalhead!
[12:03] ---
    Let's go, Pipimi.
[13:12] ---
    Can you do it?
[13:14] ---
    Yeah.
[13:15] ---
    Can you do it?
[13:17] ---
    Yeah!
[13:18] ---
    Show me what you got!
[13:20] ---
    Rah! Baramos Spelunker!
[13:23] ---
    Good. You're serious.
[13:27] ---
    I can see it in your eyes.
[13:34] ---
    I couldn't do it.
[13:44] ---
    Sexy Mobile Voice, Sexy Mobile Voice!
    Go, go, go, you sexy mobile boys.

[13:49] ---
    It's a sexy voice for you.
[13:49] ---
    Service, please!
[13:54] ---
    Pepper...
[13:56] ---
    Steak.
[14:00] ---
    It's a great sexy voice for you.
[14:15] ---
    Are you ready?
[14:16] ---
    Yeah.
SIGN    #13 The Convenience Store
    by Space Cat Company

[14:26] ---
    Next up, we have a duo
    that'll definitely dominate!

[14:30] ---
    Pop Team Epic!
[14:34] ---
    I'm Popuko.
[14:36] ---
    I'm Pipimi.
[14:37] ---
    And together, we're Pop Team Epic.
[14:41] ---
    So, Pipimi, I was thinking of getting
    a job when I enter high school.
[14:44] ---
    We're 14 right now.
[14:46] ---
    After all, we were on a
    commercial for a job magazine.
[14:49] ---
    "Want a job? Choose Town***"
[14:51] ---
    Wrong commercial.
[14:53] ---
    It was "An ga An-jan."
[14:55] ---
    It was an easy job where we
    just danced around an actress.
[14:58] ---
    Don't say that.
[15:01] ---
    So, what kinda job do you want?
[15:03] ---
    Convenience store clerk, amirite?
[15:05] ---
    Short skit: "Clerks."
[15:10] ---
    Man, I'm all alone. No customers...
    I'm not even supposed to be here today.
[15:16] ---
    I'm a robber! Gimme your money!
[15:18] ---
    Ah! A robber!
[15:20] ---
    Put all the money in that bag.
[15:24] ---
    If you don't hurry up, I'll blow you away.
    With my gun.
[15:30] ---
    Get a move on!
[15:32] ---
    I'm one of the Great Old Ones!
[15:35] ---
    Non-believers repent!
[15:37] ---
    Money first!
[15:40] ---
    Repent first.
[15:42] ---
    Money!
[15:44] ---
    Repent.
[15:46] ---
    Money!
[15:47] ---
    Re...
[15:48] ---
    Whoa, hold it, old timer. Hold it, old timer.
[15:51] ---
    What's your deal?
[15:53] ---
    This is my hit. Outta my way.
[15:55] ---
    Like I care? Outta my way, stupid kid!
    You're just acting anyway, right?
[15:59] ---
    Just try me, buddy! Just try me!
[16:03] ---
    Oh, you went there!
[16:03] ---
    Now you've done it!
[16:05] ---
    Say your prayers!
[16:07] ---
    Cut it out!
[16:09] ---
    Both of you...
[16:11] ---
    Get outta my store!
[16:19] ---
    We have you surrounded.
[16:22] ---
    Give up your weapons and surrender.
[16:27] ---
    What's her deal?
[16:29] ---
    Allow me to explain.
[16:30] ---
    Who're you?
[16:31] ---
    Colonel Pipimi, Department of Defense.
[16:34] ---
    I created her.
[16:35] ---
    You "created" her?
[16:36] ---
    She's an ultimate soldier, thrown into the
    Vietnam war with a special forces unit.
[16:41] ---
    And I was her commander.
[16:44] ---
    I am the only one who can reach her now.
[16:48] ---
    Don't act until I give the signal.
[16:51] ---
    O-Okay.
[16:54] ---
    I'm coming in, Popuko.
[16:56] ---
    Don't worry. I'm alone and unarmed.
[17:00] ---
    Popuko. It's over. You can't escape.
[17:04] ---
    Snipers have you in their scopes.
    Just look at this mess.
[17:07] ---
    This isn't Vietnam. It's America.
[17:10] ---
    The war is over.
[17:12] ---
    Nothing's over for me.
    Nothing's over for me, man!
[17:15] ---
    The war is still going hard in my brain.
[17:20] ---
    I fought fiercely, like you commanded,
    but I couldn't defeat them.
[17:24] ---
    Then when I came home,
    everyone gave me hell for what I did.
[17:28] ---
    Well, screw them! They have no
    idea what I've been through.
[17:31] ---
    It was a bad era to live through.
[17:33] ---
    It "was" bad?
    It hasn't gotten even slightly better.
[17:36] ---
    At least I had friends on the battlefield.
[17:40] ---
    Are you going to betray their
    memory by dying here?
[17:43] ---
    I learned to operate
    a variety of weapons in 'Nam.
[17:47] ---
    But here, I can't even get a
    job as a parking attendant.
[17:52] ---
    I shouldn't have come back.
[17:54] ---
    I wish I'd died in 'Nam.
    Just like the others.
[17:58] ---
    My entire unit died! They were good kids.
[18:01] ---
    They were all such good kids.
[18:03] ---
    And none of them are with me now.
[18:06] ---
    I have these dreams every night...
[18:09] ---
    Dreams where I'm looking for their legs,
    blown off by the incendiaries.
[18:40] ---
    I think I'd rather be a waitress
    than a convenience store clerk.
[18:43] ---
    Meh. Who cares.
[18:44] ---
    Thanks, everyone!
[18:46] ---
    We're launching a new corner
    after the break!

[18:54] ---
    Bobunemimimmi!
[18:57] ---
    Pipimi, where did you go?
[19:15] ---
    The mark of a true entertainer!
[19:23] ---
    Showtime!
[19:24] ---
    Pointless.
[19:31] ---
    All the kids and grownups,
[19:34] ---
    And all the girls, too...
[19:37] ---
    Our nostalgic future is a...
[19:40] ---
    100 mega shock!
[19:43] ---
    Sexy dynamite.
[19:44] ---
    "You are the most..."
[19:45] ---
    "Ugly one."
[19:45] ---
    Itchy. Tasty.
[19:48] ---
    No problem.
[19:50] ---
    Pointless! Pointless! Pointless!
[19:51] ---
    Everything's fine.
[19:53] ---
    You have defeated King Pop.
[19:54] ---
    It's "Gamay Obera" again!
[19:56] ---
    Pop team, press “Up Up”!
    (All your...)

[20:00] ---
    Press "Down Down"!
    (Base are...)

[20:03] ---
    Um... mine...
[20:03] ---
    The final attack is bitter-sweet.
[20:09] ---
    Press “Left Right”!
    (Belong to...)

[20:12] ---
    Press “Left Right B A”!
    (Us...)

[20:15] ---
    Turn the Indian to the right.
[20:19] ---
    The end!
[20:28] ---
    We wanted to highlight France's
    traditions in this special.
[20:31] ---
    So we're going to send the girls
    to the Fest Noz in Brittany.
[20:46] ---
    Fest Noz is super-fun!
[20:48] ---
    Look! Everyone's dancing.
[20:52] ---
    I love you, Brittany! You're the best!
[20:55] ---
    I love it, too! I want to travel
    around and see everything!
[20:58] ---
    The next day...
[21:02] ---
    French churches really are gorgeous.
    Don't you agree?
[21:06] ---
    Huh? Popuko?
[21:11] ---
    These girls aren't hyped up enough!
[21:19] ---
    Bonus question!
[21:22] ---
    One plus one is two, as you know.
[21:26] ---
    But what is one plus one?
[21:34] ---
    Two.
[21:37] ---
    Two.
[21:41] ---
    Screen protectors are easier to stick
    when you do it in the bathtub.
[21:45] ---
    I don't wanna!
[21:50] ---
    Almost got it.
[21:53] ---
    Hold it!
    Cutie Shark is in the tub right now.
[21:57] ---
    Shut up. I'm in the zone!
[22:07] ---
    Do you know what this is?
[22:08] ---
    I do, I do!
[22:10] ---
    Let's get small!
[22:16] ---
    That didn't work.
[22:19] ---
    Don't turn your head...
[22:22] ---
    I'm quite the head-turner.
[22:25] ---
    I'm going up against
    all the head-turning haters.

[22:28] ---
    You're a head-turning liberator.
[22:30] ---
    Pop Team Epic: New to the Workforce!!!
[22:33] ---
    I'm leaving work on time! See ya!
[22:36] ---
    Ooh! He cast "Overtime" on me!
[22:39] ---
    Good thing I have magic resistance!
[22:44] ---
    Did you clash with the
    "Hawawa" citizens again?

[22:47] ---
    He just said... he's now being "monetized."
[22:49] ---
    Oh. He's a YouTuber.
    Kill 'em while they're young.

[22:53] ---
    Hi. I'm an anime producer.
[22:55] ---
    You said you could cast that famous VA,
    but they refused to voice this show!

[22:59] ---
    I'm going to spare you this time.
    But next time, I'll push this button.

[23:02] ---
    King Records is evil!
    (So is Takeshobo.)

[23:07] ---
    Not you again!
[23:12] ---
    What a wicked woodpecker.
[23:14] ---
    He's Wickpecker for short.
[23:19] ---
    Morning feels great!
[23:21] ---
    What? But the sky is blue.
[23:23] ---
    Oh, right.
[23:24] ---
    I just wanted to say it.
[23:25] ---
    I'm concerned about the one on the right.
[23:27] ---
    Someone's on the ground.
[23:28] ---
    Really?
[23:29] ---
    Maybe we should show more.
[23:31] ---
    This is the mess up.
[23:32] ---
    The mess up?
[23:33] ---
    The video's messed up.
[23:34] ---
    I see. There are three
    of them. Is that okay?
[23:37] ---
    We think it's fine as-is.
SIGN    Hoshiiro Girl Drop
SIGN    Dental Clinic
[24:47] ---
    I hope they get all your tartar off.
[24:51] ---
    Me too.
[24:54] ---
    Hold her hand and talk to her.
[24:59] ---
    Hiyashi tofu and hiyayakko's
    only difference is...
[25:02] ---
    Their size.
[25:10] ---
    Eh? What's that thing?
[25:12] ---
    Eh? What's that thing?
[25:13] ---
    Don't copy me!
[25:14] ---
    Don't copy me!
[25:15] ---
    You're freaking dead, garbage!
[25:18] ---
    Please, not so rough.
[25:19] ---
    Please, not so rough.
[25:25] ---
    If your foot hurts when I press it here,
    you're scum.
[25:29] ---
    Mmmrrrggg... D-Doesn't hurt a bit!
[25:33] ---
    And if your foot hurts when I press
    it here, you have a gentle soul.
[25:39] ---
    Ow... I feel like that
    totally hurts or something.
[25:47] ---
    Hey, new college grads,
    let's use our imaginations!
[25:52] ---
    Hate your boss? Murder him all you want
    with the power of imagination!
[26:00] ---
    Imagination!
[26:02] ---
    Aw, yeah!
[26:07] ---
    Vroom, vroom! Ride on!
[26:10] ---
    Choo-choo!
[26:19] ---
    I'll stab you! I'll stab you!
[26:24] ---
    What are you going to stab?
[26:26] ---
    I'm gonna stab a vampire!
[26:30] ---
    But no vampire lets me stab them.
[26:36] ---
    Let her stab you!
[26:37] ---
    Uh, b-but I...
[26:42] ---
    Aura Cannon!
SIGN    Six Main Codes of Japan
SIGN    Legal Battler: Pipimi
[26:51] ---
    I plead...
[26:54] ---
    Innocent.
[26:56] ---
    Innocent, innocent. Super-innocent!
[27:00] ---
    Innocent.
[27:01] ---
    Free her!
[27:17] ---
    The golden season is gone.
[27:21] ---
    We can barely find any VAs for the show.
[27:25] ---
    I think we've milked
    this stupid anime dry.

[27:33] ---
    Our parodies of major works...
[27:36] ---
    get buried when we take them too far.
[27:41] ---
    When niche jokes
    only get "Huh?" reactions,

[27:45] ---
    they also never get shown on air.
[27:51] ---
    We won't attempt to flatter our followers.
[27:55] ---
    And we couldn't care
    less about the haters.

[27:59] ---
    You know this is the
    dumbest anime of all time.

[28:11] ---
    Whoa! So metallic.
[28:13] ---
    I just saw the concept of
    coolness reach max.
[28:17] ---
    Oh, I'm still nurturing my coolness.
[28:19] ---
    Oh, you tease!
    Can you possibly make a girl happier?
[28:25] ---
    Throw it far, okay?
[28:27] ---
    I've got this!
[28:28] ---
    Glory to Pop Team Epic!
[28:36] ---
    I'll try the next one.
[28:37] ---
    Please do, please do.
[28:39] ---
    Glory to Pop Team Epic!
[28:43] ---
    No way.
[28:51] ---
    He loves me.
[28:53] ---
    He loves me not.
[28:56] ---
    He loves me.
[28:58] ---
    He loves me not.
[29:00] ---
    He loves me.
[29:01] ---
    He...
[29:04] ---
    He... He...
[29:08] ---
    Resurrection.
[29:23] ---
    Bobumi!
SIGN    Specially returns tonight!
SIGN    Everyone's Hippo
    Episode 2

[29:24] ---
    It's everyone's favorite...
[29:25] ---
    Hippo-hippo-hippo! Hippo-hippo-hippo...
[29:28] ---
    ...pota-mouth!
[29:37] ---
    Pop Epic Cooking!
[29:42] ---
    Pop Epic...
[29:43] ---
    Cooking!
[29:45] ---
    Today, we'll be making pot-au-feu.
[29:50] ---
    Get in line.
[29:53] ---
    March.
SIGN    #14 Edo Era Pop Team
    by Space Cat Company

SIGN    Edo Era Pop Team
[30:02] ---
    It's the Edo Era.
    Our two stylish middle-schoolers...

[30:06] ---
    are roaming Japan's islands in search
    of the legendary battleaxe.

[30:10] ---
    What sort of ruckus will our
    duo be stirring up today?

[30:15] ---
    Make sure you get in your counterattack
    when possible.
[30:19] ---
    But we only have four grace frames.
[30:22] ---
    Which means?
[30:24] ---
    I know! I know!
[30:27] ---
    It means your enemy will only be
    vulnerable to attack within four frames.
[30:31] ---
    But a with light punch...
[30:33] ---
    You'll hit him!
[30:35] ---
    Oh my God, what have you done!
[30:38] ---
    What, light punches are forbidden?
[30:40] ---
    How could you kill the
    deity of this mountain?!
[30:43] ---
    Mountain deity?
[30:45] ---
    Our deity banished the demon who
    possesses this mountain.
[30:50] ---
    You must take responsibility for your
    actions and defeat the demon in his stead!
[30:57] ---
    Tsk. Now you're springing quests on us?
[31:00] ---
    I see no problem with it, Poppy.
    Things are starting to get interesting.
[31:04] ---
    When you put it that way...
[31:06] ---
    I'm fired up now!
[31:08] ---
    So, let's go.
[31:10] ---
    Let's get killing!
[31:14] ---
    I was fourteen the
    first time I rode a bike.
[31:19] ---
    I took my uncle's bike without asking,
[31:22] ---
    then took an epic fall when
    I tried to pop a wheelie.
[31:25] ---
    My bike broke down,
    and I got three stitches in my leg.
[31:31] ---
    It was enough of an experience
    to make me fall in love.
[31:35] ---
    Sorry, Uncle.
[31:37] ---
    Lame. Why don't you try another wheelie?
[31:41] ---
    Not this time.
[31:42] ---
    Why?
[31:42] ---
    It kinda sucks getting mocked
    by staff younger than me.
[31:48] ---
    Look to your right.
[31:54] ---
    Absolutely gorgeous.
[31:56] ---
    When I rev up the engine,
    I can forget all my troubles.
[32:00] ---
    Follow your impulses.
[32:03] ---
    The roads we ride now
    will never be ridden again.
[32:22] ---
    Hey. Look.
[32:24] ---
    What's their deal?
[32:28] ---
    We heard the demon has revived himself.
[32:33] ---
    You ass...
[32:40] ---
    I'm the demon.
[32:44] ---
    Let's rumble.
[32:58] ---
    I can't get a hit in.
[33:01] ---
    Four frames, remember?
[33:03] ---
    Four frames...
[33:05] ---
    Hit him with a light punch!
[33:19] ---
    Popchin wins!
[33:21] ---
    Well done, Popchin.
[33:23] ---
    Daddy!
[33:33] ---
    Uh-oh.
[33:34] ---
    Pop Team Epic's ratings rely on
    the ages 4-10 demographic.
[33:38] ---
    You know who to call.
[33:40] ---
    Ooh, right.
[33:41] ---
    Okay, kids at home! Call him with us.
[33:44] ---
    Shota Aoi, do something!
[33:49] ---
    Hello!
[33:52] ---
    What's wrong?
[33:55] ---
    See for yourself, Shota Aoi.
[33:58] ---
    Poor little tyke.
[34:00] ---
    Okay. I've got this.
[34:02] ---
    I can control space-time at will.
[34:06] ---
    Here goes!
SIGN    Hoshi-iro Girl Drop
[35:37] ---
    Oh no!
[35:48] ---
    Sorry I'm late!
[35:50] ---
    Um, hey...
[35:53] ---
    Hey, um, this is for you!
[35:56] ---
    I already saw it.
[35:56] ---
    Hey... um...
[36:02] ---
    Hippo... Hippo...
[36:05] ---
    Scorpion!
[36:06] ---
    Hippo!
[36:07] ---
    Hitomi...
[36:10] ---
    Pinch!
SIGN    Dental Clinic
[36:25] ---
    Popchin, I hope they get all your tartar off.
[36:29] ---
    Me too.
[36:32] ---
    Hold her hand and talk to her.
[36:37] ---
    Hiyashi tofu and hiyayakko's
    only difference is their size.
[36:48] ---
    Eh? What's that thing?
[36:50] ---
    Eh? What's that thing?
[36:51] ---
    Don't copy me!
[36:52] ---
    Don't copy me!
[36:53] ---
    You're freaking dead!
[36:55] ---
    Don't kill her.
[36:57] ---
    Don't kill her.
[37:04] ---
    If your foot hurts when I press it here,
    you're scum.
[37:07] ---
    Mmmrrrggg... D-Doesn't hurt a bit!
[37:11] ---
    And if your foot hurts when I press
    it here, you have a gentle soul.
[37:17] ---
    Ow... I feel like that
    totally hurts or something.
[37:25] ---
    Hey, new college grads,
    let's use our imaginations!
[37:30] ---
    Hate your boss? Murder him all you want
    with the power of imagination!
[37:39] ---
    Imagination!
[37:41] ---
    Aw, yeah!
[37:43] ---
    Let's go!
[37:44] ---
    Get 'em!
[37:46] ---
    Hang up, you!
[37:46] ---
    Come back, you!
[37:49] ---
    You're gone, buddy!
[37:50] ---
    You won't get away!
[37:57] ---
    I'll kill you. I'll kill you.
[38:00] ---
    Wing? Wing, right?
[38:04] ---
    Vampire, I will kill you.
[38:07] ---
    But no vampire lets me kill them.
[38:11] ---
    Zero won't give me a word of praise.
[38:13] ---
    Zero! Start talking, Zero!
SIGN    Six Main Codes of Japan
[38:21] ---
    Fist of the Nose—wrong one!
SIGN    Legal Battler: Pipimi
[38:30] ---
    I plead...
[38:32] ---
    Innocent.
[38:33] ---
    Innocent, innocent. Super-innocent!
[38:38] ---
    She's innocent, Zero! Hey, old man Zero!
[38:55] ---
    The golden season is gone.
[38:59] ---
    We can barely find any VAs for the show.
[39:03] ---
    I think we've milked this stupid anime dry.
[39:11] ---
    Our parodies of major works...
[39:14] ---
    get buried when we take them too far.
[39:19] ---
    When niche jokes
    only get "Huh?" reactions,

[39:23] ---
    they also never get shown on air.
[39:29] ---
    We won't attempt to flatter our followers.
[39:33] ---
    And we couldn't care
    less about the haters.

[39:37] ---
    You know this is the
    dumbest anime of all time.

[39:48] ---
    Whoa! So metallic.
[39:51] ---
    I just saw the concept
    of coolness reach max.
[39:54] ---
    Oh... you think so?
[39:57] ---
    Oh, you tease!
    I can't take it!
[40:03] ---
    Throw it far, okay?
[40:05] ---
    Mission accepted.
[40:07] ---
    Oops, sorry.
[40:09] ---
    It exploded.
[40:10] ---
    Sorry, I'm really sorry.
[40:14] ---
    I'll try the next one.
[40:16] ---
    Please do.
[40:17] ---
    Hup! ...Wait.
[40:21] ---
    Sorry!
[40:23] ---
    Mission failed.
[40:29] ---
    He loves me.
[40:31] ---
    He loves me not.
[40:34] ---
    He loves me.
[40:36] ---
    He loves me not.
[40:38] ---
    He loves me.
[40:39] ---
    He...
[40:42] ---
    He... He...
[40:46] ---
    Poppy is cute, so she gets one more chance!
[40:54] ---
    He loves me!
[41:01] ---
    Bobumi!
SIGN    Specially returns tonight!
SIGN    Everyone's Hippo
    Episode 2

[41:02] ---
    It's everyone's favorite...
[41:03] ---
    Hippo-hippo-hippo! Hippo-hippo-hippo...
[41:15] ---
    Pop Epic Cooking!
[41:20] ---
    Pop Epic...
[41:21] ---
    Cooking!
[41:23] ---
    Today, we'll be making pot-au-feu.
[41:28] ---
    Get in line.
[41:30] ---
    March.
SIGN    #14 Edo Era Pop Team
    by Space Cat Company

SIGN    Edo Era Pop Team
[41:40] ---
    It's the Edo Era.
    Our two stylish middle-schoolers...

[41:44] ---
    are roaming Japan's islands in search
    of the legendary battleaxe.

[41:48] ---
    What sort of ruckus will our
    duo be stirring up today?

[41:53] ---
    Make sure you get in your counterattack
    when possible.
[41:57] ---
    But we only have four grace frames.
[42:00] ---
    Which means?
[42:02] ---
    I know! I know!
[42:05] ---
    It means your enemy will only be
    vulnerable for attack within four frames.
[42:09] ---
    But with a light punch...
[42:11] ---
    You'll hit him!
[42:12] ---
    Oh my God, what have you done!
[42:16] ---
    What, light punches are forbidden?
[42:17] ---
    How could you kill the
    deity of this mountain?!
[42:21] ---
    Mountain deity?
[42:23] ---
    Our deity banished the demon who
    possesses this mountain.
[42:28] ---
    You must take responsibility for your
    actions and defeat the demon in his stead.
[42:34] ---
    Now you're springing quests on us?
[42:37] ---
    I see no problem with it, Poppy.
    Things are starting to get interesting.
[42:41] ---
    When you put it that way...
[42:44] ---
    I'm fired up now!
[42:45] ---
    So, let's go.
[42:52] ---
    I was fourteen the
    first time I rode a bike.
[42:56] ---
    I took my uncle's bike without asking,
[42:59] ---
    then took an epic fall when
    I tried to pop a wheelie.
[43:02] ---
    My bike broke down,
    and I got three stitches in my leg.
[43:08] ---
    It was enough of an experience
    to make me fall in love.
[43:12] ---
    Sorry, Uncle.
[43:14] ---
    Lame. Why don't you try another wheelie?
[43:18] ---
    Not this time.
[43:19] ---
    Why?
[43:20] ---
    Wiping out on a bike is
    a pain worth than death.
[43:27] ---
    Look to your right.
[43:31] ---
    Wow. I'll never die!
[43:35] ---
    When I rev up the engine,
    I can forget all my troubles.
[43:38] ---
    Follow your impulses.
[43:41] ---
    The roads we ride now
    will never be ridden again.
[44:00] ---
    Hey. Look.
[44:02] ---
    What's their deal?
[44:06] ---
    We heard the demon has revived himself.
[44:11] ---
    You ass...
[44:18] ---
    I'm the demon.
[44:22] ---
    Let's rumble.
[44:36] ---
    I can't get a hit in.
[44:39] ---
    Four frames, remember?
[44:41] ---
    Four frames...
[44:44] ---
    Hit him with a light punch...
[44:47] ---
    This is the power of finite life!
[44:53] ---
    Wait a second!
[44:57] ---
    He has a young daughter!
[45:01] ---
    Look at her!
[45:05] ---
    Ah, well.
[45:07] ---
    Time to go home, Poppy.
[45:09] ---
    Let's get home and game.
[45:12] ---
    All's well that ends well.
[45:15] ---
    It's not at all "well"!
[45:19] ---
    This mountain's security is in jeopardy
    with these two around.
[45:22] ---
    P-Please, listen to me.
[45:24] ---
    I want to turn over a new leaf.
    Stop being evil.
[45:28] ---
    Right now, I'm content just
    riding with a gang I like.
[45:32] ---
    See? He's reformed.
[45:33] ---
    But that won't do!
[45:34] ---
    He's the scum of society.
[45:37] ---
    Eh? Things got pretty effed up, huh?
[45:40] ---
    Whatever shall I do?
[45:42] ---
    It ends here, Shota Aoi.
[45:45] ---
    I cannot allow you to
    alter the past any further.
[45:49] ---
    Today, I will put an end to you.
[45:52] ---
    Put an end to me?
[45:54] ---
    But I just wanna make
    everyone happy, 'kay?
[45:58] ---
    Just who do you think you are?
[46:16] ---
    It's me?