E7 - I Want to Hang Out at a Cat Café and a Pub!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] ---
    "Senpai (Gloomlord)"
[00:18] ---
    Oh!
[00:21] ---
    Evening! What's up, Senpai?
[00:24] ---
    Uh...
[00:25] ---
    Senpai?
[00:27] ---
    Sorry this is out of the blue, Uzaki.
[00:29] ---
    What is?
[00:32] ---
    Please: be with me. I need you.
[00:36] ---
    Huh?
[00:45] ---
    "Uzaki-chan Wants to Hang Out!"
[02:08] ---
    "Episode 7: I Want to Hang Out
    at a Cat Café and a Pub!"
[02:14] ---
    Please: be with me. I need you.
[02:18] ---
    Senpai...
[02:23] ---
    Uh, hey.
[02:26] ---
    Hey, hi.
[02:27] ---
    Sorry. I know this is sudden.
[02:30] ---
    It's okay.
[02:32] ---
    Um, you asked me to be with you?
    On the phone?
[02:36] ---
    Yeah, about that...
[02:44] ---
    Huh?
[02:45] ---
    I just can't seem
    to bring myself to go in alone!
[02:49] ---
    Come with me to the cat café!
[02:53] ---
    Thank God you're here! I mean it!
[02:55] ---
    Oh, wow, I can't wait!
    This is my first time--I'm so nervous!
[03:04] ---
    Ow! What--hey! Quit kicking--ow!
    Stop! Cut it out! That hurts!
[03:10] ---
    Party of two?
    Take off your shoes and go on inside.
[03:22] ---
    Wow... cats!
[03:24] ---
    They have cats, Uzaki!
[03:26] ---
    Yep. They have cats, all right.
[03:28] ---
    Well, duh. We are a cat café.
[03:33] ---
    I... I can touch them, right?
[03:35] ---
    Calm down, Senpai. You've got those scary eyes.
[03:39] ---
    If the cats are okay with it,
    go right ahead and pet them gently.
[03:43] ---
    Got it.
[03:45] ---
    Do it like I taught you earlier: from below.
[03:48] ---
    Uh, right.
[03:52] ---
    Whoa...
[03:54] ---
    Now's your chance! Cats like being scratched
    under their chins or behind their ears.
[03:59] ---
    O-Okay.
[04:10] ---
    Uzaki, look! A cat--on my lap!
[04:14] ---
    Yes, yes. Good for you.
[04:16] ---
    But don't be too loud, or it'll run away.
[04:21] ---
    Wow. Creepy.
[04:24] ---
    He doesn't get this excited around humans.
[04:27] ---
    All that gloominess must be
    keeping some stuff repressed.
[04:31] ---
    Cootchie, cootchie, coo...
[04:33] ---
    He's so creepy that I don't even mind
    the extremely misleading way
[04:37] ---
    he got me here in the first place.
[04:41] ---
    He's too overjoyed for words.
[04:45] ---
    Hey, Uzaki, what's with that plastered-on smile?
[04:48] ---
    Just thinking how creepy it is that
    you act so cool, but you like cute things.
[04:52] ---
    Say what? Jerk.
[04:53] ---
    Whoops. My true feelings slipped out.
[04:55] ---
    Why, you...
[04:56] ---
    It's also creepy that you're careful
    to speak quietly so as not to spook the cats.
[05:01] ---
    Figures!
[05:02] ---
    Hey, your true feelings are showing again.
[05:08] ---
    But I am glad you came today.
    I'd get to the entrance and do a U-turn.
[05:12] ---
    You're exaggerating.
[05:14] ---
    I've got to thank you somehow.
[05:16] ---
    Thank me?
[05:17] ---
    Yeah. Anything come to mind?
[05:19] ---
    Hmm... let's see...
[05:23] ---
    Well, my birthday's actually coming up soon.
[05:26] ---
    I'm turning 20, so I'd like to make it sorta special.
[05:31] ---
    So, uh...
[05:32] ---
    Sorry, Uzaki.
[05:34] ---
    Huh?
[05:37] ---
    Truth is...
[05:38] ---
    Uh... yes?
[05:41] ---
    My legs are so numb that
    I haven't processed anything you've said.
[05:46] ---
    Can you repeat that?
[05:47] ---
    Then get rid of the cat!
[05:49] ---
    No way!
[05:51] ---
    If you can't have a conversation,
[05:53] ---
    we'll just move it.
[05:55] ---
    But it was finally on my lap!
    Just a little longer?
[05:58] ---
    Uncross your legs already
    and get those pins and needles out.
[06:01] ---
    It's not a quick-fix kind of thing...
[06:04] ---
    Ow, ow, ow...
[06:06] ---
    Oh!
[06:11] ---
    Poke!
[06:13] ---
    Cut that out! What the hell? Idiot!
[06:15] ---
    You were just so wide open,
    you were practically asking for it!
[06:24] ---
    Yeah, right! Everybody's wide open
    when their legs are numb!
[06:28] ---
    Not so loud, now--you'll scare the kitty-cats!
[06:36] ---
    Poke!
[06:38] ---
    Pokety poke!
[06:40] ---
    Pokety, pokety poke-poke-poke!
[06:43] ---
    Pokety, pokety, pokety, pokety poke!
[06:47] ---
    Oh, jeez, what now? This is really fun!
[06:50] ---
    This might just awaken something in me!
[06:54] ---
    Uzaki... please... uncle...
[06:57] ---
    Hmm? I can't hear you!
[07:01] ---
    What color is your blood?!
[07:04] ---
    Save that kind of play for home, please.
[07:08] ---
    "Play"?!
[07:08] ---
    "Play"?!
[07:11] ---
    Phew, what a blast!
[07:14] ---
    Wasn't that fun, Senpai?
[07:16] ---
    The first half was. Then you got us thrown out!
[07:20] ---
    Dammit. Next time I'll go alone.
[07:23] ---
    Probably can't go back there, though.
[07:26] ---
    And whose fault is that?
[07:27] ---
    Gotta love cat cafés, though.
    Lots of friendly kitties!
[07:32] ---
    Right? They were so used to being around people.
[07:35] ---
    It's Very Easy Mode.
[07:38] ---
    "Your communication level is puny.
    Level 5? Too bad."
[07:41] ---
    And they still warmed up to you!
[07:43] ---
    So I'm a gun-toting old man now?
[07:46] ---
    I have cats at home, but it's good
    to interact with different cats sometimes.
[07:50] ---
    Huh! Must be nice.
[07:53] ---
    Is this what married men
    who go to cabaret clubs feel like?
[07:57] ---
    Beats me! What a horrible analogy.
[08:01] ---
    See you later, Senpai!
[08:03] ---
    Yep. I owe you one for today,
    so think it over, okay?
[08:07] ---
    Oh, I've already thought that over.
[08:10] ---
    And?
[08:11] ---
    Like I mentioned earlier,
    my birthday is coming up. August 7th!
[08:16] ---
    I have high hopes, Senpai!
[08:21] ---
    Her birthday...
[08:23] ---
    "Asia Café"
[08:24] ---
    And that's why...
[08:26] ---
    ...she said she has high hopes for her birthday.
[08:29] ---
    So you're in a pickle.
[08:31] ---
    You do seem like you'd
    be bad at that kind of thing.
[08:34] ---
    Right.
[08:35] ---
    Anticipating that Sakurai would be bad at this,
[08:38] ---
    then throwing him for a loop
    with vague "high hopes"...
[08:42] ---
    She's quite the schemer.
[08:44] ---
    But that comes from the
    peculiar mentality of a girl in love
[08:47] ---
    who wants someone to fret over her.
[08:50] ---
    Not that Hana realizes it herself.
[08:53] ---
    Still, any way you look at it...
[08:55] ---
    ...we're going to eat this up!
[08:57] ---
    What are you doing?
[08:58] ---
    Nothing.
[09:00] ---
    Do you have any ideas?
[09:03] ---
    I've been thinking...
[09:06] ---
    U-Uzaki...
[09:08] ---
    Flowers, because my name means "flower"?
    So you suck at puns, too!
[09:13] ---
    U-Uzaki...
[09:14] ---
    This is totally the wrong size!
[09:16] ---
    Besides, only hotties can get away
    with giving a present like this.
[09:22] ---
    U-Uzaki...
[09:23] ---
    Couldn't you have given me
    a uTunes card instead?
[09:26] ---
    I want those special-event bonuses!
[09:28] ---
    It feels like anything
    I give her will be a bust.
[09:32] ---
    This is getting complicated!
[09:34] ---
    In reality...
[09:38] ---
    He sure doesn't have an eye for flowers.
[09:44] ---
    A placeholder!
[09:48] ---
    Hey, it has multiplayer!
    I'll play with you, loner senpai!
[09:54] ---
    Sounds about right.
[09:56] ---
    She'd be happy with anything Sakurai gives her.
[10:01] ---
    I've thought about this
    too much--I'm just so confused.
[10:04] ---
    Then why don't you follow your intuition?
[10:07] ---
    My intuition?
[10:09] ---
    Give her the first thing that came
    to mind when you heard "birthday present."
[10:13] ---
    The first thing that came to mind...
[10:18] ---
    "August 7th"
[10:21] ---
    Yeah, I still have no idea.
[10:24] ---
    But I need to pick something today.
[10:29] ---
    "Uzaki (Idiot)"
[10:32] ---
    What's up, Uzaki?
[10:33] ---
    Well, um...
[10:36] ---
    Huh?
[10:37] ---
    I know this is sudden, Senpai.
[10:40] ---
    What is?
[10:41] ---
    I want you to be with me! I need you.
[10:47] ---
    Eh?
[10:53] ---
    I want you to be with me!
[10:55] ---
    What's with Uzaki, anyway?
[10:58] ---
    Oh!
[11:01] ---
    "Pub"
[11:01] ---
    Senpai!
[11:03] ---
    Uh, hey.
[11:05] ---
    Sorry to spring this on you.
[11:07] ---
    It's okay.
[11:09] ---
    So, um, on the phone...
    you said you wanted me to be with you?
[11:15] ---
    About that...
[11:18] ---
    I just couldn't bring myself to go in alone!
    Come with me, Senpai!
[11:23] ---
    A... pub?
[11:25] ---
    Your treat! Please?
[11:28] ---
    What for?
[11:29] ---
    I told you, remember? My 20th birthday!
[11:33] ---
    I have high hopes, you know--
[11:35] ---
    for your wallet, that is!
[11:39] ---
    "High hopes" --you mean you were
    angling for a pub visit all along?
[11:43] ---
    Yep!
[11:45] ---
    Huh? What's wrong? C'mon, let's go in already!
[11:52] ---
    Hmm?
[11:56] ---
    Are you sure about this?
[11:58] ---
    Celebrating your milestone 20th at a pub?
[12:02] ---
    Oh, totally! I wanted to try drinking with you.
[12:06] ---
    Drinking's fun, right?
[12:09] ---
    That depends on the drinker,
    on the circumstances...
[12:12] ---
    No guarantees.
[12:15] ---
    Well, if it's not fun,
    you can do something to make it fun!
[12:19] ---
    Now you're being unreasonable.
[12:21] ---
    Let's just enjoy ourselves, okay?
[12:24] ---
    Right.
[12:26] ---
    Ready?
[12:29] ---
    Cheers!
[12:29] ---
    Cheers!
[12:34] ---
    Okay, here goes!
[12:36] ---
    Go on, drink up!
[12:39] ---
    How is it?
[12:43] ---
    Like a soft drink, but also... not.
[12:46] ---
    Does it taste good or what?
[12:49] ---
    There's this, like,
    burning in my throat. Deep inside.
[12:53] ---
    Alcohol will do that.
[12:55] ---
    What's beer like?
[12:57] ---
    Want to try?
[12:59] ---
    Uh-huh.
[13:01] ---
    Sorry for the wait!
[13:03] ---
    Enjoy!
[13:05] ---
    Give that a taste.
[13:08] ---
    Whoa!
[13:10] ---
    You okay?
[13:12] ---
    So this is beer! It's bitter,
    but there's more to it than that.
[13:17] ---
    That's why it goes so great
    with fried and salty food!
[13:21] ---
    Okay, then...
[13:24] ---
    So juicy!
[13:26] ---
    Now take a slug of beer.
[13:32] ---
    Right? Isn't that delicious?
[13:33] ---
    They go fantastic together!
[13:35] ---
    The beer resets the grease from the chicken
    for fresh new flavor with every bite!
[13:42] ---
    Wow, you really chugged it.
    So what's your verdict?
[13:45] ---
    It's great! So you drink alcohol with food, huh?
[13:49] ---
    Some people savor it on its own.
[13:53] ---
    It doesn't matter as long
    as you're enjoying yourself.
[13:56] ---
    In that case, as you so kindly suggested,
    I'm gonna do just that!
[14:01] ---
    That's right--go on, now!
[14:07] ---
    Hey! Just how much are you ordering?!
[14:09] ---
    Your wallet is already dead.
[14:11] ---
    Shut up! Cancel! Cancel those!
[14:15] ---
    Hidebu!
[14:17] ---
    Pardon me...
[14:18] ---
    No horsing around, please.
[14:21] ---
    I'm sorry.
[14:21] ---
    I'm sorry.
[14:25] ---
    Sheesh. Quit screwing around or--
[14:28] ---
    Yow! Spicy!
[14:29] ---
    What is this?
SIGN    "Russian Roulette Octopus Balls" "Only 1 is Super Spicy!" "8 for ¥550"
[14:30] ---
    Looks like one of them is ultra spicy.
[14:34] ---
    Beer! Beer!
[14:36] ---
    It's empty?!
[14:37] ---
    And no water, either!
[14:38] ---
    Uzaki, a drink! Anything!
[14:40] ---
    Wait just a sec, okay? I'm looking.
[14:43] ---
    I can't wait!
[14:45] ---
    Oh, I bet I can make this one.
    I should make it for you sometime!
[14:49] ---
    I'm begging you: make it snappy!
[14:56] ---
    I thought I was a goner...
[14:59] ---
    Hey, this is good!
    I think I might like yuzu liqueur.
[15:02] ---
    Good for you.
[15:07] ---
    Another round!
[15:09] ---
    Now wait just one minute!
[15:10] ---
    What's up?
[15:11] ---
    You're really knocking 'em back there.
[15:14] ---
    Take it easy--it is your first time.
[15:17] ---
    Pardon me!
[15:18] ---
    Your yuzu liqueur.
[15:19] ---
    Much obliged!
[15:22] ---
    That's too fast!
[15:24] ---
    But I'm totally fine.
[15:26] ---
    Fine? How many is that?
[15:28] ---
    Good question.
[15:29] ---
    Is it, now?
[15:31] ---
    Well, whatever.
    Drink some water in there, too.
[15:38] ---
    I just might be a heavyweight!
[15:41] ---
    Look, just slow down, will you?
[15:44] ---
    Sorry for the wait! Your yuzu liqueur.
[15:45] ---
    Thanks.
[15:46] ---
    Yesss!
[15:49] ---
    Thank you very much!
[15:55] ---
    Whoa, whoa, whoa...
[15:56] ---
    You okay there, Senpai? You're kinda wobbly!
[16:00] ---
    You're the only one wobbling around here.
[16:02] ---
    She started out okay but
    turned out pretty much as I'd expected.
[16:06] ---
    I jotted down how much you drank.
    Stay under that amount next time, okay?
[16:11] ---
    Wow, Senpai, you sure got tall all of a sudden.
[16:15] ---
    That's a utility pole! Walk properly, will you?
[16:18] ---
    Aw, c'mon, Senpai, carry me!
[16:21] ---
    Let go of me!
[16:24] ---
    Piggyback! Baby back... ribs...
[16:27] ---
    Stop that! Your various...
    areas... are all up on me!
[16:30] ---
    Various areas? Whazzat mean?
[16:33] ---
    What's touchin' where?
[16:35] ---
    Jeez, she is one irritating drunk!
[16:38] ---
    Smooshy...
[16:39] ---
    Markin' you with my scent...
[16:41] ---
    No way can I send her home on her own like this.
[16:44] ---
    Here, stand up. I'll take you home.
[16:47] ---
    Aw! I'm not goin' home!
[16:49] ---
    Let's drink at your place, Senpai!
[16:51] ---
    What, more drinking?! Go home and get to sleep, dummy!
[16:54] ---
    And stand up already! I can see your underwear!
[16:56] ---
    Who're you callin' a dummy, huh?
[16:59] ---
    Say, Senpai, d'you know what time it is?
[17:02] ---
    Huh?
[17:03] ---
    Yikes! That late?!
[17:05] ---
    Oh, too bad! No more trains! Ha ha! You dummy!
[17:10] ---
    You're the dummy who can't get home, dummy.
[17:13] ---
    We can call a cab.
[17:16] ---
    Uzaki's dumbass drinking drained me dry!
[17:20] ---
    The ATM should still be running.
[17:22] ---
    Ugh, but that access fee... and taxis
    will be charging pricey late-night fares...
[17:27] ---
    Let her stay over? I could never!
[17:29] ---
    I can't think straight with this booze in me!
[17:32] ---
    Quite the dilemma!
[17:34] ---
    You wouldn't abandon your junior,
    stuck away from home, would you?
[17:40] ---
    Don't tell me this was
    all calculated from the get-go!
[17:49] ---
    I don't even care anymore.
[17:51] ---
    We're going to the convenience store.
    I want some water.
[17:53] ---
    Yeah! And alcohol!
    I wanna verify my age! 'Cause I'm 20!
[17:57] ---
    Whatever you want.
[18:00] ---
    Look, just so you know,
    I only have one futon set.
[18:04] ---
    Wanna sleep together?
[18:05] ---
    I'm splitting it up, moron! One quilt each!
[18:12] ---
    Senpai... Hey, Senpai...
[18:16] ---
    Don't go to sleep, huh?
[18:19] ---
    I'm begging you, let me sleep.
    It's three in the morning!
[18:23] ---
    Let's play a game.
[18:25] ---
    No way. You play dirty.
[18:27] ---
    Aw...
[18:30] ---
    Are you still drinking?!
[18:32] ---
    Yep!
[18:33] ---
    Honestly... She needs to learn
    about the horrors of alcohol.
[18:40] ---
    Squid's yummy...
[18:42] ---
    No--come morning, she'll know.
[18:46] ---
    Uh-oh... I really am sleepy.
[18:49] ---
    Fine. I'll just sleep right here, then.
[18:50] ---
    All right!
[18:51] ---
    No stun-locking moves this time,
    so let's get sparrin'!
[18:56] ---
    Senpai? Hey, Senpai!
[18:58] ---
    Pipe down.
[19:00] ---
    Senpai? Are you asleep for real?
[19:04] ---
    Well, well.
[19:06] ---
    Leaving behind your junior
    and just... going to sleep?
[19:09] ---
    Just ignore her.
[19:13] ---
    Maybe he'll wake up if I kiss him.
[19:28] ---
    See, I knew you were only faking!
[19:31] ---
    Don't get so worked up.
[19:33] ---
    It was just a joke--a joke!
[19:37] ---
    But you sure were frantic there, Senpai.
[19:41] ---
    Have you never been kissed, by any chance?
[19:45] ---
    No! Shut up! Go to sleep, idiot!
[19:52] ---
    Sleepytime...
[20:03] ---
    Aw...
[20:05] ---
    My head hurts... I feel awful...
[20:08] ---
    That's called a hangover.
    Life's going to suck for a while.
[20:12] ---
    I hate it!
[20:14] ---
    Why are you just fine?
[20:16] ---
    Grown-ups drink in moderation
    so that doesn't happen.
[20:19] ---
    What's "modera" --
[20:22] ---
    Don't worry. Everyone has an alcohol screw-up.
[20:26] ---
    Good thing your first time wasn't
    at some sketchy drinking party.
[20:30] ---
    It's not good at all!
[20:32] ---
    But you found your limit right off the bat.
[20:36] ---
    He's in lecture mode.
[20:38] ---
    You didn't drink much water, either.
[20:41] ---
    It takes water to metabolize alcohol.
[20:43] ---
    Alternate with drinks of water
    and you won't get sick.
[20:46] ---
    You should feel better by noon.
    Just have to tough it out.
[20:51] ---
    Are you listening?
[20:54] ---
    Wow, she's in hell.
[21:03] ---
    The bigger the screw-up, the better the lesson.
[21:05] ---
    Next time, drink as much water as you do booze.
[21:09] ---
    'S fine. I won't drink again as long as I live.
[21:14] ---
    Probably for the best.
    Though everyone with a hangover says that.
[21:19] ---
    Never... ever again.
[21:23] ---
    I'm going to hit the store--
    you hold down the fort.
[21:27] ---
    Rest up, okay?
[21:31] ---
    Senpai?
[21:33] ---
    Yeah?
[21:35] ---
    Thanks a lot... for being with me... at the pub.
[21:42] ---
    It was fun.
[21:46] ---
    I'm glad you enjoyed it.
[21:48] ---
    Oh, I nearly forgot: You're 20 now, Uzaki--
[21:58] ---
    Happy birthday.
[23:39] ---
    "Episode 8: I Want to Watch Fireworks Together!"
[23:40] ---
    Something's happening!
[23:41] ---
    Hmm.
[23:42] ---
    Sak!