E1 - You're going to be my boyfriend.

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    LDR • Delivery Room • Operating Room
SIGN    LDR • Delivery Room • Operating Room
[00:11] Nurse A
    Congratulations, Umino-san.
[00:14] Nurse A
    You have a healthy new baby.
[00:18] Nurse B
    She isn't hearing us.
[00:19] Nurse A
    We'll take her to the nursery.
[00:24] Nurse A
    Wait, was this the right bed?
[00:27] Nurse B
    It's the empty one there.
[00:32] Nagi
    Yes, this was the moment
    the fateful mistake happened.
SIGN    Umino-tei Diner
SIGN    Umino-tei Diner
SIGN    Meeting
SIGN    Umino
[02:26] Sachi
    Morning.
[02:32] Sachi
    Was it your turn today, Onii-chan?
[02:35] Sachi
    Oh, I'm taking the one with the big yolk.
[02:38] Nagi
    No.
[02:39] Nagi
    The lecithin in egg yolk is good for memory.
[02:43] Nagi
    Here we go again with the loner talk.
[02:45] Nagi
    I bet that's why you can't make any friends.
[02:48] Sachi
    Shut up.
[02:49] Yohei
    What do you think, Sachi?
    Looking snazzy, aren't I?
[02:52] Sachi
    Move.
[02:53] Sachi
    Also, lame.
[02:55] Yohei
    What, are you in your rebellious phase now?
[02:57] Sachi
    So annoying.
[02:58] Sachi
    Onii, help me out here.
[03:01] Nagi
    This family doesn't know how to calm down.
[03:03] Nagi
    It's too early for this.
[03:05] Namie
    Nagi, where are my earrings?
[03:07] Nagi
    The bottom right shelf.
[03:09] Nagi
    You shoved them in there when you
    were drunk yesterday, remember?
[03:11] Namie
    Oh, right.
[03:13] Namie
    Thanks.
[03:15] Namie
    Get ready as quick as you can.
[03:18] Namie
    Her parents are looking
    forward to meeting you, too.
[03:22] Yohei
    Go get 'em, Nagi.
[03:24] Nagi
    Sure, sure.
[03:26] Nagi
    As if they aren't eager to
    meet their real kid, too.
[03:33] Nagi
    I never thought kids getting put in the
    wrong bed at birth was a real thing.
[03:39] Namie
    Nagi, we'll see you at the dining hall.
[03:42] Yohei
    Don't be late.
[03:44] Nagi
    Yeah.
[03:48] Namie
    Oh, right, Nagi...
[03:50] Namie
    Happy birthday.
[03:53] Nagi
    Thanks.
[03:54] Namie
    How are my earrings?
[03:56] Yohei
    Looking snazzy!
[04:03] Sachi
    Onii-chan, are you joining their family?
[04:07] Nagi
    Of course not.
[04:08] Nagi
    I grew up here for sixteen years.
[04:11] Nagi
    Do you really think I could
    accept new parents now?
[04:14] Sachi
    Don't care.
[04:15] Nagi
    Then don't ask!
[04:18] Sachi
    You're going now?
[04:19] Nagi
    I'm leaving early to study at the library.
[04:22] Sachi
    Studying more? Today?
[04:24] Nagi
    I have to beat my rival.
[04:26] Sachi
    That again.
[04:28] Sachi
    I can't believe you're actually
    someone else's kid, though.
[04:34] Sachi
    That explains so much.
[04:36] Sachi
    You're nothing like the rest of us.
[04:38] Sachi
    Plus you're book smart, and a loner.
[04:41] Nagi
    All those jokes about them finding
    me at the river weren't that far off.
[04:49] Sachi
    I can't...
[04:57] Sachi
    I don't want you to go away.
[05:02] Nagi
    You're so silly, Sachi.
[05:05] Nagi
    I'm not going away.
[05:08] Nagi
    I'm going to tell them straight up
[05:10] Nagi
    that I have no intention
    of becoming their child.
[05:19] Nagi
    They said they would honor my wishes.
[05:22] Nagi
    Gotta get this over with quick
    and get back to studying.
[05:40] Erika
    W-Wait, what?
[05:42] Nagi
    No! You need to think it through!
[05:43] Erika
    No, I'm not...
[05:45] Nagi
    Stop!
[05:50] Erika
    Ow...
[05:58] Erika
    Seriously, what's wrong with you?
[06:01] Erika
    Get off me!
[06:02] Nagi
    That's my li— Boobs!
[06:04] Nagi
    Ow!
[06:09] Nagi
    You were just pretending to kill yourself?
[06:10] Erika
    Yeah.
[06:11] Erika
    I was going to make a video
    and upload it to Inusta.
SIGN    Inusta
[06:14] Nagi
    Inusta...
[06:15] Erika
    But you had to go and get in my way.
[06:17] Nagi
    You're going to start some drama.
[06:19] Erika
    That's the whole point.
SIGN    New Post
[06:20] Erika
    Man, this video's useless.
[06:21] Nagi
    Ow!
[06:23] Nagi
    Ow!
[06:26] Nagi
    That was all to get more followers?
[06:27] Erika
    I have plenty of followers.
[06:30] Nagi
    Well, good for you.
[06:32] Nagi
    What, is this girl famous or something?
[06:35] Nagi
    I feel like I've seen her before.
[06:37] Erika
    It's for my mom.
[06:40] Erika
    I want to start some drama
[06:43] Erika
    so I can convince her that
    I'm not going to get married.
[06:45] Nagi
    M-M-M-Married?!
[06:47] Erika
    You didn't know?
[06:49] Erika
    You can get married at sixteen.
[06:50] Nagi
    Yeah, I know.
[06:52] Nagi
    That's not what I meant.
[06:53] Nagi
    Wow, people my age are already
    getting married, huh?
[06:57] Nagi
    Wait a second...
[06:58] Nagi
    You're in the same kind
    of situation I am, then?
[07:05] Erika
    I see.
[07:07] Erika
    You're a mix-up baby,
    and I have an arranged engagement.
[07:10] Erika
    We both have family issues, I guess.
[07:13] Nagi
    Seems so.
[07:15] Erika
    By the way, are you my age, then?
[07:19] Erika
    I'm Amano Erika.
[07:21] Erika
    I'm a second-year at Orpheus Girls' Academy.
[07:23] Nagi
    Ah, OGA, huh?
[07:25] Nagi
    That's that fancy princess school.
[07:28] Nagi
    This girl...
[07:30] Classmate A
    Amano Erika's so cute.
[07:33] Classmate B
    Think I could meet her
    if I went to Orpheus?
[07:34] Nagi
    This dumb crap is all they
    talk about during breaks.
[07:34] Classmate C
    You? I doubt it.
[07:38] Nagi
    She can't be this cute.
    I bet she's using filters.
[07:41] Erika
    Hey.
[07:43] Erika
    Are you listening?
[07:44] Nagi
    I-It wasn't a filter.
[07:47] Erika
    What about you?
[07:48] Nagi
    Umino Nagi.
[07:50] Nagi
    Second-year, too.
[07:51] Nagi
    I go to Megurogawa Academy.
[07:53] Erika
    Megurogawa!
[07:54] Erika
    Hang on, isn't Megurogawa
    a super-elite prep school?
[07:58] Erika
    You must be really smart, Nagi-kun!
[08:00] Nagi
    I guess.
SIGN    Nagi-kun
[08:01] Nagi
    Nagi-kun?!
[08:02] Erika
    That's it! I can use that!
[08:04] Nagi
    Huh?
[08:06] Erika
    Guess what? You're going to be my boyfriend.
[08:09] Nagi
    Huh?!
[08:10] Erika
    Aren't you honored?
[08:11] Nagi
    A-Are you crazy? Why would I be?
[08:14] Nagi
    Who would go out with a bratty
    minefield of a woman like you?
[08:17] Erika
    You're so silly. I meant pretend.
[08:19] Nagi
    Pretend?
[08:20] Erika
    Who has arranged marriages
    these days, anyway?
[08:22] Erika
    Why would I ever marry a guy when I don't
    know what he looks like or anything?
[08:27] Nagi
    Dunno.
[08:28] Nagi
    I don't know anything about
    the rich people's world.
[08:30] Erika
    So here's the plan!
[08:32] Nagi
    She's not even listening.
[08:34] Erika
    "I have a boyfriend that
    I'm deeply in love with."
[08:37] Erika
    "He's really smart and
    he has a bright future."
SIGN    High Intelligence
SIGN    Bright Future
[08:41] Erika
    "He cares for me a ton."
SIGN    Madly in Love
[08:43] Erika
    "Oh, Erika, you could have told us sooner."
[08:48] Erika
    And that's how the marriage was called off.
[08:51] Erika
    And she lived happily ever after.
[08:53] Nagi
    I see. You have quite the imagination.
[08:55] Erika
    Right?
[08:57] Nagi
    But alas, in reality, it fails.
[09:01] Nagi
    For I have no intention of cooperating.
[09:04] Erika
    Huh?
[09:04] Nagi
    What do you mean, "Huh"?
[09:06] Nagi
    I told you.
[09:08] Nagi
    I'm about to go see my real parents.
[09:10] Nagi
    I don't have time for your games.
[09:13] Erika
    My "games"?!
[09:15] Erika
    My future is on the line here!
[09:17] Nagi
    So is mine.
[09:19] Nagi
    If you don't want to get married, then don't.
[09:20] Erika
    I'm asking you because
    I don't have that option!
[09:21] Nagi
    Shoot, what time is it?
[09:30] Nagi
    Stop!
[09:30] Erika
    Yup, you're definitely squeezing here.
[09:33] Erika
    Definitely squeezing.
[09:35] Nagi
    I can see that! You don't need to zoom in!
[09:37] Erika
    I don't think you can explain this away.
[09:40] Nagi
    So what, then?
[09:41] Erika
    I'll just attach this clip of the video
    to Megurogawa Academy's contact form.
[09:46] Nagi
    Don't!
[09:48] Nagi
    The school's going to contact my parents!
[09:50] Nagi
    They'll be concerned about
    my emotional well-being
[09:53] Nagi
    and involve my real parents,
[09:54] Nagi
    who are going to feel responsible
    and force me into their care!
[10:00] Erika
    You're so desperate.
[10:02] Nagi
    Obviously!
[10:06] Erika
    Cooperate with me, then.
[10:12] Nagi
    Fine, as long as I can get
    to where I'm going on time.
[10:15] Erika
    Okay!
[10:20] Nagi
    So, what do I have to do to
    pretend to be your boyfriend?
[10:24] Erika
    Isn't it obvious?
[10:26] Nagi
    How would it be obvious?
[10:27] Nagi
    I've spent my entire life studying.
[10:29] Nagi
    I've never dated or anything.
[10:32] Erika
    Ew, that's hilarious.
[10:34] Nagi
    Shut up!
[10:35] Nagi
    You're on Google right now, too!
[10:36] Erika
    Found it.
[10:37] Erika
    It says you do it.
[10:39] Nagi
    Do it... Do it? Do it?!
[10:41] Nagi
    Let me see that!
[10:43] Erika
    Stop it!
[10:47] Erika
    Come on, seriously, stop it.
[10:51] Nagi
    Why don't you just use that?
[10:54] Nagi
    Can't you just show them that picture?
[10:57] Erika
    Oh, I get it.
[10:58] Erika
    It would prove that I have a boyfriend.
[11:00] Erika
    It must be nice being smart, huh?
[11:02] Erika
    You don't even need the Internet.
[11:04] Nagi
    More like you're not even thinking.
[11:07] Erika
    This picture makes it look like there was an
    incident, though, so let's take another one.
[11:11] Erika
    And above all, I'm not cute in it.
[11:13] Nagi
    All about you, huh?
[11:14] Erika
    Come closer.
[11:16] Nagi
    Er, right.
[11:17] Nagi
    Is this girl really a rich
    person's daughter, though?
[11:20] Erika
    A little closer.
[11:23] Nagi
    She smells so nice!
[11:26] Erika
    You just look like an idiot.
[11:28] Erika
    I'll send that video to your school.
[11:29] Nagi
    I apologize.
[11:31] Erika
    And why does it look like I picked up
[11:33] Erika
    a random person off the street
    to take a picture with?
[11:36] Nagi
    Because I'm a random person off the street.
[11:39] Erika
    Oh, whatever.
[11:40] Erika
    Come with me.
[11:41] Nagi
    H-Hey!
[11:43] Nagi
    Where are we going?
[11:44] Erika
    To find clothes for you.
[11:45] Nagi
    Huh?!
[11:45] Erika
    Quit griping and come with me!
[12:08] Erika
    This is perfect.
[12:09] Erika
    We totally look like a couple.
[12:11] Nagi
    What's up with this?
[12:13] Erika
    I just remembered a girl in my class who
    went for matching outfits with her boyfriend.
[12:17] Erika
    We look really close, don't we?
[12:19] Nagi
    Not really. It just looks like we happened
    to be wearing the same clothes.
[12:22] Nagi
    Or like I've just been in an accident.
[12:24] Erika
    At least you don't look like
    a random stranger, right?
[12:28] Erika
    Hello!
[12:30] Erika
    I'd like to buy all of this.
SIGN    Total
[12:32] Store
    That'll be 495,000 yen.
[12:36] Nagi
    Four hun—
[12:37] Nagi
    No, no, no, no, no!
[12:38] Nagi
    I only have 1,000 yen!
[12:40] Erika
    I'll buy it in one payment on my card.
[12:42] Nagi
    All of that?!
[12:43] Erika
    Keep the outfit. Think of
    it as an official uniform.
[12:46] Nagi
    Th-The stuff about her
    being a princess was true.
[12:49] Nagi
    What kind of home does she come from?
[12:53] Erika
    Here we go.
[12:54] Erika
    Look happy, like you're
    having a lit-ass time.
[12:56] Nagi
    L-Lit?
[12:57] Nagi
    Lit!
[12:59] Erika
    You're messing around, aren't you?
[13:00] Nagi
    I'm dead serious here.
[13:02] Erika
    You have to act stronger if
    you're going to be my boyfriend.
[13:05] Nagi
    Stronger?
[13:09] Erika
    That's better than the last one.
[13:11] Erika
    We aren't going to get anything better.
[13:14] Erika
    I'm going to go borrow the changing room.
[13:16] Nagi
    She's only showing her parents.
    Do I really need to look strong?
[13:21] Nagi
    Rich...
SIGN    Displays
    of
    strength...
[13:23] Nagi
    Displays of strength...
SIGN    Princess...
[13:24] Nagi
    Princess...
SIGN    Power...
[13:25] Nagi
    Power...
SIGN    Contracts...
[13:26] Nagi
    Contracts...
SIGN    Force...
[13:26] Nagi
    Force...
SIGN    In
    all
    black...
[13:27] Nagi
    In all black...
[13:28] Nagi
    Could it be that she's...
[13:31] Nagi
    Hang on... Is your family a yak—
[13:34] Erika
    Hotel moguls.
[13:35] Nagi
    Ah, so you're legit.
[13:37] Nagi
    So why did you want us to dress up like that?
[13:40] Erika
    I figured my parents wouldn't
    butt in if you looked strong.
[13:43] Nagi
    She's actually just an idiot.
[13:46] Erika
    It's no use, though.
[13:48] Erika
    They all look so awkward.
[13:50] Nagi
    What? After all that?
[13:52] Erika
    A good photo...
[13:55] Erika
    I think a good photo is one that gives
    you a sense of the air of the moment.
[14:00] Nagi
    The air?
[14:01] Erika
    Yeah.
[14:03] Erika
    The climate, the scents...
[14:05] Erika
    Not just that,
[14:07] Erika
    but also the air, as in the feelings of
    the people in the photos and taking them.
[14:11] Erika
    That's why I try not to
    edit my photos too much.
[14:15] Nagi
    Huh...
[14:17] Erika
    So I think I'll use this photo.
[14:21] Nagi
    But that's the first one we took.
[14:25] Erika
    It's the one that makes us
    look the closest, though.
[14:28] Erika
    And it's kind of funny, right?
[14:33] Nagi
    I guess... if you're happy with it.
[14:35] Erika
    Yup.
[14:37] Nagi
    I thought Amano-san and I lived
    in totally different worlds.
[14:38] Erika
    "Actually, I have a boyfriend."
[14:42] Nagi
    Maybe she's actually pretty normal.
[14:42] Erika
    Upload the picture, and...
[14:44] Erika
    Sent.
SIGN    Dad
SIGN    You're so funny lol
    It's almost your curfew.
    You'd better come home!
[14:50] Erika
    No!
[14:51] Erika
    How did he know?!
[14:53] Nagi
    I guess there's no point in trying
    to deceive your parents.
[14:55] Erika
    All right, then...
[14:58] Erika
    We're going to have to do it.
[14:59] Nagi
    Your ideas are so extreme!
[15:01] Erika
    What else am I supposed to do, then?
[15:03] Nagi
    There's got to be something, right? Like...
[15:05] Shibata
    Hey, what's this about?!
[15:08] Shibata
    I thought you didn't have
    a boyfriend, Erika-tan!
[15:12] Erika
    No way... Why are those guys here?
[15:15] Nagi
    Friends of yours?
[15:16] Erika
    As if.
[15:17] Erika
    These guys are from the
    high school next to mine.
[15:20] Erika
    I got doxxed a little while ago,
    and now I'm dealing with stalkers.
[15:24] Nagi
    Oh. I guess that's what
    it's like being famous, huh?
[15:26] Erika
    Stop it.
[15:28] Stalker B
    You're a princess at a chaste
    all-girls school, aren't you?
[15:32] Stalker C
    That's why we followed you, you know!
[15:35] Nagi
    Don't worry.
[15:36] Nagi
    She's perfectly chaste.
[15:37] Erika
    Seriously, don't!
[15:39] Shibata
    Erika-tan, who is this guy?
[15:41] Nagi
    Huh? Me?
[15:43] Erika
    Just ignore them.
[15:47] Nagi
    I'm Amano-san's contractual boyfriend.
[15:50] Stalkers
    B-Boyfriend?!
[15:52] Erika
    Why would you tell them the truth like that?
[15:55] Erika
    This is the problem with
    stuck-up studying addicts.
[15:58] Erika
    You can't engage with these kinds of people.
[16:01] Shibata
    What was that?
[16:02] Shibata
    Contractual?!
[16:04] Shibata
    Who do you think you are, asshole?!
[16:06] Nagi
    Wait, are they picking
    a fight with me right now?
[16:08] Erika
    You just noticed?!
[16:10] Shibata
    Get away from Erika-tan!
[16:11] Erika
    Come on, let's run!
[16:19] Erika
    Wow, he's tough.
[16:21] Shibata
    What's wrong with this kid?!
[16:24] Nagi
    Never come near Amano-san again.
[16:26] Stalkers
    W-We're sorry!
[16:29] Nagi
    Those types of people need
    to learn the painful way.
[16:32] Erika
    Th-That's an option?
[16:35] Nagi
    Umino family wisdom:
    if anyone picks a fight with you, win.
SIGN    A
    i
    
    R
    a
    b
    u
    
    Y
    u
SIGN    I
    n
    v
    i
    n
    c
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    b
    l
    e
[16:39] Nagi
    My parents were both delinquents.
[16:42] Nagi
    That's how I was raised.
[16:43] Erika
    Never mind that!
[16:45] Erika
    I just realized I have to punch him!
[16:49] Erika
    My fiancé!
[16:51] Erika
    I'm going to ruin the mood!
[16:53] Erika
    They'll stop talking about me marrying
    him if I completely wreck the mood.
[16:57] Nagi
    I guess that's better than trying
    to get yourself canceled.
[17:00] Erika
    Wow.
[17:02] Erika
    I'm still excited.
[17:04] Erika
    I've never seen a fight in person.
[17:07] Erika
    I promise I'll give him a good
    wallop like you did, Nagi-kun.
[17:11] Nagi
    Yeah.
[17:12] Nagi
    If that's what you're gonna do,
    you might as well go whole hog.
[17:15] Erika
    Yeah!
[17:20] Driver
    Miss, it's time for you to come home.
[17:23] Erika
    Gah! They were tracking my GPS location!
[17:28] Erika
    Well, thanks for today.
[17:30] Erika
    I'll delete that video.
[17:32] Nagi
    Please do.
[17:35] Erika
    Um...
[17:36] Erika
    I guess since I'll probably never
    see you again, I'll tell you...
[17:40] Erika
    I don't have any friends,
    because of how I am.
[17:44] Erika
    But it kinda felt like we were
    on a date today. It was fun.
[17:57] Erika
    Too bad you're not the one
    I'm supposed to marry, Nagi-kun.
[18:02] Erika
    Just kidding.
[18:04] Erika
    Goodbye.
[18:12] Nagi
    I'd have to politely decline.
[18:18] Nagi
    Crap! I'm late!
[18:25] Nagi
    I'm sorry I'm late!
[18:28] Erika's dad
    Ah, there you are.
[18:29] Erika's dad
    Nice to meet you.
    You must be Nagi-kun.
[18:32] Nagi
    It's nice to meet you.
[18:34] Namie
    Where have you been?!
[18:35] Erika's dad
    We were worried.
[18:37] Erika's dad
    We thought you weren't
    going to show up for us.
[18:40] Erika's mom
    Thank goodness.
[18:41] Nagi
    These are my real parents?
[18:48] Namie
    So anyway, Nagi, there's something
    I've been keeping from you.
[18:52] Yohei
    That's right.
[18:54] Yohei
    The four of us parents talked it through.
[18:58] Nagi
    Yeah?
[18:59] Erika's mom
    The truth is,
[19:00] Erika's mom
    we all care about our biological children,
    as well as the children we raised.
[19:03] Namie
    It's been sixteen years, after all.
[19:05] Nagi
    I'd imagine.
[19:07] Namie
    So then, we realized...
[19:08] Namie
    If the two of you got married,
    you'd both be our kids.
[19:14] Nagi
    Wait, what are you saying?
[19:16] Erika's dad
    I was so surprised when I saw
    the photo my daughter sent me.
[19:20] Erika's dad
    To think you two were
    already in a relationship!
[19:23] Erika's mom
    It sure does speed things along.
[19:25] Nagi
    Huh?
[19:25] Yohei
    Miracles really do happen!
[19:31] Erika's dad
    She's back.
[19:32] Erika's dad
    Allow me to introduce you.
[19:35] Erika's dad
    To my daughter, Erika, with whom
    you were mixed up at birth.
[19:39] Nagi
    Wh-Why?!
[19:41] Erika
    That's my question.
[19:44] Erika's dad
    I'm looking forward to your marriage.
[19:47] Nagi
    M-Marriage?!
[19:48] Nagi
    I can't accept that!
[19:49] Erika
    Neither can I.
[19:51] Erika
    But I have to keep my word.
[19:54] Nagi
    Wait.
[19:55] Nagi
    There's been a change in circumstances!
[19:57] Erika
    Ready? And...
[19:59] Nagi
    Ow!
[20:03] Nagi
    That day, I became engaged.
[20:06] Nagi
    And...
[20:10] Nagi
    I'm in Class A.
SIGN    Segawa Hiro
[20:12] Nagi
    Where is...
[20:15] Hiro
    Pardon me!
[20:16] Hiro
    Coming through!
[20:25] Hiro
    I'm sorry.
[20:27] Hiro
    Are you all right?
[20:29] Nagi
    Sure.
[20:30] Hiro
    Thank goodness.
[20:32] Hiro
    Sorry, I'm in a hurry.
[20:36] Nagi
    I would have just let it slide before.
[20:40] Nagi
    But now that I have a fiancée,
    I need to hurry.
[20:45] Nagi
    Segawa Hiro!
[20:48] Nagi
    I'm taking you down in the next exam!
[20:53] Hiro
    Um...
[20:56] Hiro
    Who were you again?
[20:58] Nagi
    Umino Nagi!
[20:59] Nagi
    The guy who's ranked second in our class!
[21:02] Nagi
    I decided a long time ago...
[21:05] (Flashback) Hiro
    What kind of person do I like?
[21:09] (Flashback) Hiro
    Someone smarter than me.
[21:12] Nagi
    That once I reached number one,
    I would confess to her.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 45 0 l 45 108 l 0 108
SIGN    m 0 0 l 40 0 l 40 60 l 0 60
SIGN    Actually,
    though...
SIGN    we
    aren't
    sib-
    lings.
[21:19] All
    And so, fate was set in motion.
[21:23] Sachi
    Oh, yeah...
[21:24] Sachi
    I guess Onii-chan wasn't really my brother.
[21:29] Erika
    Nagi-kun's my fiancé...
[21:33] All
    This is an epic tale of love.