9 - The Delusional Story That Began With a Lie

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:26] ---
    You've failed me.
[00:28] ---
    Not only have you not
    brought back the Uranus Queen,
[00:30] ---
    you've actually awakened her.
[00:33] ---
    I am terribly sorry.
[00:35] ---
    The Beta should be
    scrapped now, shouldn't she?
[00:38] ---
    After all of these millennia,
[00:41] ---
    the Downers haven't
    been able to even find Synapse.
[00:44] ---
    We have no need for
    an electronic warfare type.
[00:47] ---
    P-Please, wait!
    I will get her next time, for sure!
[00:50] ---
    What can someone like you do
    against an awakened Uranus Queen?
[00:56] ---
    No, wait.
[00:59] ---
    This could be good.
[01:03] ---
    What are you...
[01:18] ---
    I am dreadfully bored.
[01:22] ---
    Entertain me.
[01:24] ---
    Yes... Master...
[01:36] ---
    Heaven's Lost Property
[01:42] ---
    During the Age of Exploration,
[01:44] ---
    the ship that Columbus
    was on faced a certain problem.
[01:48] ---
    The sailors were anxious
    over their long voyage,
[01:51] ---
    and were about to stage a mutiny.
[01:55] ---
    So then Columbus lied to them,
    and recorded distances shorter
[01:58] ---
    than he had actually calculated
    into the navigational logs.
[02:01] ---
    The sailors believed them,
    and continued the voyage at ease,
[02:05] ---
    until they discovered the New World.
[02:08] ---
    Indeed...
    Indeed...
[02:09] ---
    it all started with a lie.
[02:12] ---
    You might call it the "Legend of
    the Discovery of the New World."
[02:16] ---
    Mikako, what are you doing?
[02:18] ---
    I'm your assistant.
    You were looking for one, right?
[02:23] ---
    Ei, you looked so lonesome by
    yourself, so I thought I'd help you.
[02:28] ---
    I'm Pretty 3. Pleased to meet you.
[02:35] ---
    The Delusional Story
    That Began With a Lie
[02:39] ---
    Perfect weather for a barbecue, huh?
[02:42] ---
    Amazing!
[02:44] ---
    Look at all the people!
[02:46] ---
    Over here.
[02:49] ---
    I had some of our young men
    set aside a place for us.
[02:53] ---
    See? Over there.
[02:54] ---
    Don't look at them.
    Hurry along, now.
[03:00] ---
    Say, Tomo, has Nymph
    still not come back?
[03:03] ---
    Yeah. She's probably
    gone back up to the sky to visit.
[03:07] ---
    Sheesh, she comes as she pleases,
    and leaves as she pleases.
[03:09] ---
    She's such a troublemaker.
    Well, I guess I'll get ready.
[03:14] ---
    Huh? Where's Ikaros?
[03:23] ---
    Whoa, miss, you can't do that!
[03:25] ---
    Hey! Ikaros, what are
    you doing, you numbskull?!
[03:29] ---
    I'm sorry, I'll pay for it for her.
[03:34] ---
    W-What's this?!
[03:36] ---
    Folks, we have a situation!
[03:38] ---
    An unbelievably sexy
    and allegedly phantom DVD,
[03:42] ---
    "The Warring States of Boobies:
    G-Cup Chaos!"
[03:45] ---
    Imagine, running into it here!
    It can only be called a miracle!
[03:49] ---
    Um, and this, as well...
[03:52] ---
    I-I don't have the money!
[04:00] ---
    Um, Master...
[04:03] ---
    I am sorry.
[04:08] ---
    I have to act more human.
    More like a "normal" human.
[04:14] ---
    You weapon of mass destruction!
[04:21] ---
    But how do I act more human?
[04:21] ---
    I get it. So that's why you said that earlier.
[04:24] ---
    It's only human to lie, you know.
[04:26] ---
    How awful. You sure had me going.
[04:32] ---
    To lie is human.
[04:39] ---
    Welcome back, Tomo.
[04:41] ---
    Ikaros, the meat is almost done.
[04:44] ---
    To lie is human.
[04:46] ---
    Sohara...
[04:47] ---
    What's up?
[04:49] ---
    I hate you so much.
[04:53] ---
    Sohara, nobody finds you to be cute,
[04:58] ---
    and though you seem kind,
    you're very violent.
[05:01] ---
    W-Wha...
[05:03] ---
    Plus, there is your slight weight loss.
[05:06] ---
    Is that wrong?
[05:08] ---
    Anyway, for those reasons,
    Sohara, I hate you.
[05:19] ---
    There is no New World.
[05:23] ---
    Chairman...
[05:25] ---
    What?
[05:28] ---
    You are a very good person.
[05:31] ---
    Oh my, you're embarrassing me.
[05:33] ---
    What is this?! That's completely
    unlike what you said to me!
[05:38] ---
    I do not wish to stay at your side, Master.
[05:43] ---
    I do not wish to stay at your side.
[05:54] ---
    Hey, is this disgusting hooch
    all you've got in this place?!
[05:59] ---
    It must be handy to have a
    physiology that gets drunk on cola.
[06:02] ---
    Well, we're still minors, and all...
[06:06] ---
    There, there, don't lose your temper.
[06:08] ---
    You're fine, Chairman. But me...
    but me... Ikaros was mean to me!
[06:16] ---
    Drink some more, and forget everything.
[06:19] ---
    Nymph is gone, and Ikaros
    says she doesn't want to stick around!
[06:23] ---
    Aw, man...
[06:25] ---
    Everyone's off doing their own thing!
[06:28] ---
    Okay, fine! If they're doing
    their own thing, then so am I!
[06:32] ---
    I'm gonna amuse myself
    to my heart's content!
[06:38] ---
    Your takoyaki...
[06:40] ---
    looks very unappetizing.
[06:42] ---
    Your hair is thick and lush.
[06:45] ---
    That is an ugly baby.
[06:48] ---
    I have become more human.
[06:53] ---
    You're sure enjoying yourself, Alpha.
[06:55] ---
    Nymph...
[06:59] ---
    What are you doing here?
[07:00] ---
    Before I answer, would you mind
    disengaging your Artemis lock on me?
[07:04] ---
    I'm going to go nuts if
    this missile alert in my head
[07:07] ---
    keeps going off like this.
[07:09] ---
    I didn't come to reveal who you really are.
[07:12] ---
    And no matter what I try,
    I'm no match for you in combat ability.
[07:16] ---
    It's all right. I just wondered
    what happens next in my soaps,
[07:20] ---
    so I thought I would stay
    here on Earth a little bit longer.
[07:23] ---
    Oh.
[07:26] ---
    So, Alpha, you're pretty infatuated
[07:28] ---
    with your current master, aren't you?
[07:31] ---
    You exist only to crush
    the Downers, too. I don't get it.
[07:37] ---
    If you don't want me to
    ruin your relationship with him,
[07:40] ---
    you'll stick with me,
    and not say anything funny.
[07:46] ---
    Hmph, I've got you completely fooled.
    I'm here to take you back.
[07:52] ---
    Engage P-Stealth system.
[07:55] ---
    All I am doing is carrying
    out my master's orders.
[08:00] ---
    I'm no match for your strength,
[08:02] ---
    but I will force you back
    to the sky, if I have to.
[08:04] ---
    In order to do so, first...
[08:11] ---
    I'll take your beloved
    Master, Tomoki, hostage.
[08:15] ---
    Sorry about this, Alpha.
[08:17] ---
    You think you've hidden yourself like that?
[08:20] ---
    I can see you clear as day.
[08:22] ---
    W-What?!
[08:24] ---
    How?
[08:27] ---
    You think you can hide from me?
[08:30] ---
    I can see everything!
[08:33] ---
    Yeah, do it! Get it on!
[08:36] ---
    What are you doing?
[08:38] ---
    What am I doing? Peeping! I'm peeping!
[08:40] ---
    Nothing's better than whoopee
    to take your mind off things!
[08:43] ---
    I've got no money, and all.
[08:46] ---
    Who's there?
[08:47] ---
    Nymph?!
[08:51] ---
    What are they doing?
[08:53] ---
    It looks like the woman
    is getting more and more...
[08:56] ---
    Don't look at that!
    Geez, you come back out of nowhere...
[09:01] ---
    Where have you been all this time?
[09:02] ---
    It doesn't matter, does it?
[09:04] ---
    Yes, it does! If you're going
    to leave, say something first!
[09:08] ---
    Do you know how worried I was about you?!
[09:11] ---
    Worried...?
[09:12] ---
    Of course I was! For a houseguest,
    you're sure inconsiderate!
[09:16] ---
    Don't ever disappear
    without saying anything again!
[09:19] ---
    Okay...
[09:23] ---
    No! No! I came here to take him hostage!
[09:26] ---
    I can't let Tomoki trip me up!
[09:29] ---
    All right, then as punishment,
[09:31] ---
    you have to do what I say
    for the rest of the day. Got it?
[09:35] ---
    Let's go!
[09:36] ---
    Follow me!
[09:37] ---
    H-Hold on!
[09:41] ---
    Heaven's Lost Property
[09:46] ---
    Tomoki's
[09:49] ---
    What are you doing?
[09:51] ---
    Huh? Can't you tell by looking?
[09:54] ---
    A sacrifice sale. This is a sacrifice sale.
[09:57] ---
    I want that DVD,
    but I don't have the money.
[10:00] ---
    In this situation,
    it's time to open my own shop,
[10:03] ---
    and sell my stuff for tons
    of cash! I'm so smart!
[10:08] ---
    Is this stuff going to sell?
[10:10] ---
    Like I said,
[10:12] ---
    I needed some help
    from a salesgirl. This is perfect.
[10:15] ---
    Go over there and round up some customers!
[10:19] ---
    What are you doing?
[10:21] ---
    Oh, guys...!
[10:23] ---
    Ah, Nymph!
[10:25] ---
    We heard from Ikaros.
    You've come back, right? That's great.
[10:30] ---
    Welcome back.
[10:32] ---
    Here I am...
[10:34] ---
    So, a booth, huh? But I doubt
    you're going to sell any of this.
[10:39] ---
    You never know!
[10:40] ---
    Wow, this looks like fun.
    I'd like to try running a shop, too.
[10:45] ---
    Ikaros, want to open a shop together?
[10:50] ---
    Step right up!
[10:51] ---
    Try one of Ikaros' delicious box lunches!
[10:55] ---
    Ikaros, our shop is a big hit!
    We make a good combination, huh?
[10:59] ---
    Yes, Sohara.
[11:01] ---
    So anyway, about what you said earlier,
    about you hating me...?
[11:07] ---
    Yes, I hate you.
[11:09] ---
    Yeah, I suppose so.
[11:15] ---
    A Tommy gun, and a Colt 1911.
[11:19] ---
    All of them are toys, of course.
[11:24] ---
    Damn, they're taking all of my customers...
[11:28] ---
    With the exception of Sugata.
[11:31] ---
    Nymph, please, you've gotta help me.
[11:34] ---
    I want that DVD, no matter what it takes!
[11:36] ---
    It's okay with me.
    I'm not doing anything right now.
[11:39] ---
    Really?
[11:40] ---
    Once you buy the DVD,
    will you let me watch it, too?
[11:45] ---
    W-Well...
[11:47] ---
    H-How about, if the shop makes any money,
[11:50] ---
    I'll buy you whatever
    else you want, instead?
[11:52] ---
    Whatever I want?
[11:55] ---
    All right. I just have to
    help you, right? That's easy.
[12:00] ---
    Thank you, Nymph!
[12:02] ---
    I don't think what your
    shop is selling is any good.
[12:05] ---
    What if you make it a place that
    sells something to eat, like Alpha?
[12:08] ---
    Like okonomiyaki or something.
[12:09] ---
    Th-That's it! An okonomiyaki stand!
[12:15] ---
    Try a specially-made okonomiyaki!
    They're cheap and delicious!
[12:19] ---
    Tomo has started an okonomiyaki stand.
[12:22] ---
    I think I'll have one.
[12:24] ---
    Okay, thank you!
[12:25] ---
    So then, what is your preference?
[12:29] ---
    Here is our menu!
[12:32] ---
    W-What is this?
[12:34] ---
    For those who want something moderate,
    we have the booby stack!
[12:37] ---
    If you want something more modest,
    there's the booby half-helping!
[12:40] ---
    And for those who have
    a deep love of boobies,
[12:42] ---
    there's the booby E-helping, and F-helping!
[12:50] ---
    Say, Tomoki, the female
    customers are leaving.
[12:54] ---
    Huh? Oh, crap!
[12:57] ---
    Well, what if you had a store that
    sold idol goods? Girls like that.
[13:01] ---
    Oh, that's it!
[13:04] ---
    Step right up!
[13:06] ---
    Get today's featured item!
[13:09] ---
    A Tomoki pin-up...
[13:11] ---
    and a Tomoki fan!
[13:12] ---
    Act now and I'll throw in these
    Tomoki underpants for a mere 200 yen!
[13:18] ---
    Tomoki Goods
[13:23] ---
    They're not selling!
[13:25] ---
    Just calm down, now...
[13:28] ---
    At this point, it's time for my last card.
[13:32] ---
    Hey, mister...
[13:34] ---
    What do you say, mister?
    Panties from a current high-school girl.
[13:38] ---
    I'll let you have them cheap.
[13:40] ---
    Buy them now, and I'll include this photo.
[13:42] ---
    Well? Well, mister?
[13:45] ---
    Tomo...!
[13:51] ---
    Are you okay, Tomoki?
[14:00] ---
    "Ahh..."
[14:04] ---
    Silly girl.
[14:08] ---
    Die!
[14:09] ---
    Damn you all! As much trouble
    as I'm having over here!
[14:13] ---
    Get lost, all of you popular guys!
[14:17] ---
    This is all the world's fault
    for having handsome men!
[14:21] ---
    It's because you handsome men are
    taking more than your share
[14:24] ---
    that I am where I am,
    trying so desperately, to get that DVD...
[14:33] ---
    In other words, you want
    to be attractive to females?
[14:35] ---
    Yeah... It's a dream that could
    never come true, though.
[14:44] ---
    What am I to do with you?
[14:48] ---
    Here.
[14:50] ---
    Hey, what did you do?
[14:52] ---
    I engaged popular guy jamming.
[14:55] ---
    Look, it's starting to work.
[15:00] ---
    W-What do you mean?
[15:01] ---
    The upshot is, using my jamming system,
[15:05] ---
    I made it so that everyone sees you
[15:05] ---
    Unbelievable.
[15:07] ---
    He's the ideal man.
[15:07] ---
    As the nothing but the ideal man.
[15:08] ---
    Ah, I can't hold back anymore!
    As the nothing but the ideal man.
[15:11] ---
    Please, hold me!
[15:12] ---
    This is the moment I've been waiting for!
[15:15] ---
    Now is when I realize my true worth!
[15:30] ---
    Thanks for waiting, ladies.
    It's your number one...
[15:34] ---
    Tomoki.
[15:41] ---
    Welcome, and step right up.
[15:43] ---
    Tomoki!!
[15:45] ---
    What's a man to do, ladies?
    You'll have to get me a drink first.
[15:50] ---
    I'll get one!
[15:51] ---
    Me, too!
[15:52] ---
    Me, too!
[15:53] ---
    I'll get as many as you want!
[15:56] ---
    No, no, I went and served his needs!
[15:59] ---
    I don't have time to be doing this.
[16:01] ---
    My objective was to take
    him hostage. What am I doing?
[16:06] ---
    Nymph, what are you waiting for?
[16:09] ---
    Bring us something to drink. Hurry, hurry.
[16:12] ---
    Right!
[16:13] ---
    Now serving the Dom Perignon.
[16:16] ---
    Now serving a champagne tower.
[16:20] ---
    Now serving a Tomoki tower.
[16:22] ---
    Huh? What's a Tomoki tower?
[16:30] ---
    It's the moment you've been waiting for.
[16:33] ---
    Behold my way of life!
[16:35] ---
    Now serving... the Tomoki tower!
[16:42] ---
    Huh?
[16:45] ---
    My, my, my, what's the
    matter with all of you?
[16:49] ---
    Yuck!
[16:49] ---
    What a lowlife!
[16:50] ---
    L-Ladies...?
    What a lowlife!
[16:57] ---
    W-Why?
[16:59] ---
    I turned off my popular guy jamming.
[17:00] ---
    Wha...? Hey, you!
[17:02] ---
    Well, helping out with your
    store was keeping me too busy.
[17:05] ---
    It was starting to become a hassle.
[17:06] ---
    Aw, man...
[17:10] ---
    But then, you let me have a good dream,
    and I made plenty of money.
[17:18] ---
    Thank you, Nymph.
[17:21] ---
    You're thanking me?
[17:23] ---
    All right, now to go buy that DVD!
[17:28] ---
    No, no, don't let yourself get tripped up!
[17:30] ---
    You are an Angeloid.
    As long as you have this chain and collar,
[17:35] ---
    you cannot go against your master.
[17:41] ---
    Your business is booming.
[17:44] ---
    Why are you forcing yourself to lie?
[17:48] ---
    What are you?
[17:51] ---
    I am human.
[17:54] ---
    Why has Nymph returned?
[17:58] ---
    I do not know anything.
[18:00] ---
    Everything is the exact opposite.
    Is there some reason for that?
[18:05] ---
    Humans are creatures that lie.
[18:09] ---
    I am a normal human.
[18:13] ---
    I see now.
[18:15] ---
    If you keep this up, it will hurt Tomoki.
[18:22] ---
    Ah, Tomo!
[18:24] ---
    You're here just in time.
[18:26] ---
    Huh? What's going on?
[18:27] ---
    We figured out the real meaning
    behind what Ikaros has been saying.
[18:32] ---
    You snapped at Ikaros earlier
    today to be more human, right?
[18:36] ---
    Yeah, now that you mention it...
[18:39] ---
    In trying to obey what you said,
    she has been lying as hard as she can.
[18:44] ---
    Lying?
[18:45] ---
    You mean, it was all a lie?
[18:48] ---
    That means that when you said "I hate you,"
[18:51] ---
    it really meant "I love you," right?
[18:54] ---
    Yes.
[18:55] ---
    Sohara, anyone who
    sees you finds you to be cute,
[18:59] ---
    and though you seem violent,
    you are very kind.
[19:04] ---
    What else did you say?
    I've had a slight weight loss... Huh?
[19:09] ---
    Yes, I love how you have
    slightly put on some weight.
[19:13] ---
    Then, there is a New World.
[19:16] ---
    Yes.
[19:17] ---
    And I am a good person, right?
[19:20] ---
    A good person, right?
[19:24] ---
    Yes...
[19:25] ---
    Well, there you have it.
[19:28] ---
    You lied when you said you
    didn't want to stay at his side,
[19:30] ---
    so what you really meant
    was that you do want to.
[19:33] ---
    Is that right, Ikaros?
[19:35] ---
    Yes.
[19:37] ---
    Geez, don't scare me like that.
[19:39] ---
    I thought I was going to lose you, too.
[19:44] ---
    Oh, so that's what was going on.
[19:49] ---
    Things have changed quite a bit, huh?
[19:51] ---
    At first, you hated it, didn't you?
[19:54] ---
    When Ikaros showed up,
    then Nymph showed up.
[19:57] ---
    Even now, I can't stand all the trouble.
[20:00] ---
    Nothing beats peace and quiet.
[20:01] ---
    Come on and admit it already.
[20:03] ---
    Assuming you really do
    want anything to change.
[20:13] ---
    Master, I am sorry about today.
    I did not mean to cause any trouble.
[20:19] ---
    It's okay. I've gotten used to it.
[20:21] ---
    Yes... Um, is it okay if
    I ask you a question?
[20:26] ---
    Today, when I decided to
    lie about my feelings,
[20:31] ---
    and I thought about what
    my feelings really were,
[20:34] ---
    I began to wonder,
    what does Master think about me?
[20:45] ---
    Back when I was a child,
    I wasn't a normal kid.
[20:49] ---
    I had something of an
    overactive sense of adventure,
[20:51] ---
    a lot like Sugata, in a sense.
[20:55] ---
    I would go into the mountains,
    and if I found something unusual,
[20:58] ---
    I would bring the others in my class there.
[21:01] ---
    But there were times
    when things got dangerous,
[21:03] ---
    and once in a while, my friends got hurt.
[21:07] ---
    At some point, they all stopped
    coming into the mountains with me.
[21:11] ---
    I think with some of them,
    their parents told them to stop, and such,
[21:15] ---
    but all of a sudden, I was all alone.
[21:21] ---
    So when I think about you and
    Nymph suddenly leaving me, too,
[21:27] ---
    it kind of reminds me of back then...
[21:45] ---
    I want to remain at your side, Master.
[21:49] ---
    From now on, and forever.
[21:53] ---
    W-W-W...
[21:54] ---
    What are you doing?!
[21:57] ---
    Ikaros, I'm trying to have a
    serious discussion with you,
[22:01] ---
    and you have no idea what it means!
[22:05] ---
    Things on Earth are the same as ever.
    And you have no idea what it means!
[22:18] ---
    The early summer rains were green
[22:26] ---
    Being alone in the
    afternoon left me forlorn
[22:34] ---
    Falling in love, I've been stoking
[22:41] ---
    these lonesome, unrequited feelings
[22:50] ---
    Unable to say "I love you," first love
[22:58] ---
    turns your heart
    into a swinging pendulum
[23:05] ---
    You ran across the
    schoolyard after class
[23:13] ---
    From a distance,
    I was always looking for you
[23:21] ---
    It's a twilight dream,
    so it lingers in my heart
[23:45] ---
    "The Warring States of Boobies...
    A battle between the breasts."
[23:50] ---
    They're fighting each other!
[23:52] ---
    Do you have any idea what time it is?
[23:56] ---
    Don't watch that on your own!
[24:00] ---
    Next time,
    "Where the Melodious Words Of an Angel Go"