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17 - A Man Is Among Them!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    So... are you marrying Zaki's girl?
[00:16] ---
    Me?!
[00:17] ---
    Yeah. I just called him up,
[00:20] ---
    and he started askin'
    me about a wedding date!
[00:24] ---
    He did sound kinda sloshed, though.
[00:27] ---
    So, are you datin' Sena-chan?
[00:29] ---
    O-Of course not!
[00:31] ---
    Aw, bummer.
[00:34] ---
    Do you at least have your
    first girlfriend, then?
[00:36] ---
    No.
[00:38] ---
    A girlfriend, when I don't
    even have a friend-friend...?
[00:40] ---
    Huh? What did you say?
[00:42] ---
    Oh, hey, Kobato got a boyfriend. She's
    staying at his place again tonight.
[00:46] ---
    What?! Who the hell is he?!
[00:48] ---
    Who's the bastard who
    made a move on my angel?!
[00:50] ---
    He's gonna pay! I'm comin'
    back to Japan right now!
[00:52] ---
    I was kidding. Okay, bye.
[00:54] ---
    Huh? Hey, wait a--
[01:11] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:12] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[01:15] ---
    Be My Side
[01:16] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[01:18] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[01:22] ---
    Sono te ni datte todokisou sa
[01:30] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[01:31] ---
    Souzou ijou da ne jetto koosutaa na mainichi
[01:36] ---
    Hisshi de mae wo muite itsumo kakenuketa n da
[01:44] ---
    Zutto tsuzuki wa shinai ne bokura no jikan wa
[01:51] ---
    Ima shika nai kara kono
    shunkan kizamitsukeyou

[01:58] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:59] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[02:01] ---
    Be My Side
[02:02] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[02:04] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[02:09] ---
    Te wo toreru you ni
[02:11] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:12] ---
    Miagete bakari datte
[02:14] ---
    Be My Side
[02:15] ---
    Akogareteru ima mo
[02:18] ---
    Mou ikkai nando demo te wo nobasou
[02:22] ---
    Ano hoshi datte todokisou sa
[02:29] ---
    "A Man Is Among Them!"
[02:31] ---
    Yo.
[02:33] ---
    Ah, Kobato-chan's here!
[02:37] ---
    Bro...
[02:38] ---
    Kobato-chan, want to go to an
    amusement park with me tomorrow?
[02:42] ---
    No!
[02:42] ---
    Look, look, it's a ticket
    to Yokoshima Wonderland!
[02:47] ---
    Daddy got it from somebody
    at work. And look at this!
[02:50] ---
    There'll be limited-edition stuff there!
[02:52] ---
    And I'll buy you snacks
    and a tasty hamburger!
[02:55] ---
    Limited edition stuff...
    snacks... hamburgers!
[02:59] ---
    Come on, Kobato-chan, don't be scared!
[03:02] ---
    I'll be gentle! So have some
    fun with your big sis! Okay?
[03:07] ---
    How pathetic can you get?
[03:10] ---
    Yokoshima Wonderland, eh?
[03:10] ---
    Give it back, stupid Yozora!
[03:12] ---
    Have you been there, Yozora?
[03:14] ---
    My school did a fall field
    trip there in eighth grade.
[03:17] ---
    I spent the whole time
    reading a book, though.
[03:21] ---
    I-I see...
[03:23] ---
    I've only been there with my family,
[03:26] ---
    but an amusement park with
    friends sounds nice, you know?
[03:31] ---
    Y-Yes...
[03:33] ---
    All right, tomorrow we're all going
    to Yokoshima Wonderland together!
[03:38] ---
    For real?!
[03:39] ---
    School's out, so we've all got
    time to kill anyway, right?
[03:42] ---
    True.
[03:43] ---
    And tomorrow is a weekday, so
    it probably won't be crowded...
[03:46] ---
    Rika wants to go too!
[03:47] ---
    I shall accompany you, Aniki.
[03:50] ---
    Yay! I'm going to the amusement park!
[03:52] ---
    I'm going to Yokoshima
    Wonderland with Big Brother!
[03:52] ---
    I suppose I'll divert myself with
    a human pastime, just this once.
[03:57] ---
    Okay, it's decided.
[03:59] ---
    Hold it! I only invited Kobato-chan!
[04:03] ---
    This ticket admits six adults.
[04:05] ---
    We're helping you make sure it's not wasted.
[04:09] ---
    Wait, six adults?
[04:11] ---
    Yay! Yay!
[04:13] ---
    Huh? I can't go? Because I'm a little girl?
[04:18] ---
    Because you're a little girl.
[04:21] ---
    Oh. Yeah, I'm just a
    little girl, after all...
[04:25] ---
    Don't worry, I'm used to it.
[04:33] ---
    I can shell out enough for one kid's ticket.
[04:35] ---
    Really?!
[04:37] ---
    Thanks, Sena! You're a good person!
[04:44] ---
    Hey, Sena.
[04:45] ---
    What?
[04:46] ---
    Did you notice anything off
    about the President yesterday?
[04:51] ---
    Daddy?
[04:52] ---
    Come to think of it, after
    he gave me the park tickets,
[04:55] ---
    he suddenly got all happy
    and started drinking sake...
[04:59] ---
    Why?
[05:00] ---
    Beats me.
[05:01] ---
    All I could think about
    was inviting Kobato-chan,
[05:03] ---
    so I don't really remember.
[05:05] ---
    Oh.
[05:07] ---
    Yeah, it must've just been drunken rambling.
[05:10] ---
    Tomorrow will be great,
    won't it, Kobato-chan?
[05:13] ---
    No!
[05:14] ---
    Oh, you're so cute!
[05:22] ---
    Wow!
[05:25] ---
    So this is the fabled "amusement park."
[05:28] ---
    Huh...
[05:30] ---
    It must be Sena's first time, too.
[05:35] ---
    So, what ride should we go on fir--huh?
[05:38] ---
    This one.
[05:40] ---
    Black Dragon!
[05:43] ---
    F-For real?!
[05:44] ---
    You want to go straight to the
    Black Dragon? Are you crazy?!
[05:47] ---
    I swore to myself that I'd ride this!
[05:49] ---
    J-Just so you know, I didn't stay up
    all night deciding whether to ride it!
[05:53] ---
    I just figured, since it's famous...
[05:55] ---
    Just you wait, dragon of the night.
[05:57] ---
    The Black Dragon...
[05:59] ---
    That name seems fitting for a true man.
[06:00] ---
    I wanna ride that one too!
[06:04] ---
    Don't come crying to me later.
[06:06] ---
    Let's go!
[06:12] ---
    Quite slow, isn't it?
[06:14] ---
    The ignorant masses down there
    look like flecks of dirt.
[06:21] ---
    What's the matter, dark dragon?
    Is this all you've got?
[06:26] ---
    Rika's being stimulated by the nice
    vibrations, and she's starting to get a little hot!
[06:39] ---
    Whoa--I'm not liking how high we are.
[06:43] ---
    That's right, Black Dragon!
[06:45] ---
    Lead me to the far reaches
    of time and... and...
[06:50] ---
    No, don't!
[06:54] ---
    Th-Th-There's something so wrong
    with whoever thought up this ride!
[06:54] ---
    D-D-Do you think I'll let you
    get away with doing this to me?!
[06:58] ---
    You're just a hunk of steel!
[06:58] ---
    Drop dead, you scum! Pervert!
[07:00] ---
    A toy! I'll freaking kill you!
[07:01] ---
    You lied to me again, Yozora!
    I'm gonna die from this!
[07:07] ---
    Stop, stop, go back!
[07:07] ---
    W-Wait, stop, really, please stop! Please!
[07:09] ---
    I'll kill you! I swear I'll kill you!
[07:11] ---
    Here it comes...
[07:14] ---
    I'm gonna die! You rotten apples!
[07:17] ---
    Bro!
[07:23] ---
    Fuck.
[07:34] ---
    Too high too high too high too high!
[07:34] ---
    Shit! Meat Meat Meat Meat
    stupid Meat shitty Meat!
[07:39] ---
    Stop saying poopy, you poopy woman! Bro!
[07:39] ---
    Poopy poopy poopy poopy poopy poopy!
[07:44] ---
    "Form itself is emptiness;
    emptiness itself is form..."
[07:47] ---
    Your face tells me just how bad you
    want it, you planetary mass whore!
[07:51] ---
    You look like a bitch in heat!
    Universal gravitation streak of shit!
[07:54] ---
    Kodaka! Kodaka, Kodaka, Kodaka, Kodaka!
[07:54] ---
    Die die die! I swear I'll
    curse you! Kodaka, help me!
[07:58] ---
    Bro! Bro!
[07:58] ---
    Poopy poopy poopy... Yay, high!
[08:02] ---
    "...up to and including no
    field of mind-consciousness..."
[08:05] ---
    You better ejaculate faster
    than the speed of light!
[08:07] ---
    Rika's lost it!
[08:07] ---
    A pig who can't transcend
    might as well blow it!
[08:17] ---
    H-How was it?
[08:20] ---
    That was super fun!
[08:23] ---
    Rika's head hurts. Can't remember...
    Can't remember anything...
[08:28] ---
    Ladies and gentlemen, may I
    have your attention please.
[08:31] ---
    There will be a *Fullmetal Necromancer
    *skit at 10:45 on the event stage.
[08:39] ---
    We hope to see you all there shortly.
[08:42] ---
    Kobato-chan...
[08:46] ---
    Want to go with me?
[08:48] ---
    Yeah! Let's hurry, Bro!
[08:52] ---
    Kobato-chan, wait!
[08:57] ---
    Guess what, Kobato-chan? I just bought
    all the Fullmetal Necromancer Blu-rays!
[09:02] ---
    The truth is, I'm a huge fan!
[09:05] ---
    Who's your favorite character?
[09:08] ---
    Me, I like Mel-chan from season two best!
[09:13] ---
    She's a one-off character, but--
[09:14] ---
    Meryl.
[09:15] ---
    Pardon?
[09:16] ---
    Meryl. The phoenix tamer
    from Season 2 Episode 8.
[09:19] ---
    Emeraude Mireille von Livaraycia
    Ohtori's nickname is "Meryl."
[09:23] ---
    Not "Mel."
[09:25] ---
    A-Ah, right, Meryl-chan.
[09:28] ---
    And she came back in Episode 5 of Season 3!
[09:31] ---
    Um, Kobato-chan...
[09:33] ---
    Sena, she's a serious fanatic
    when it comes to this show,
[09:37] ---
    so if you don't know your stuff,
    you'll only set her off more.
[09:41] ---
    Kodaka, why don't real-world conversations
    come with options and save points?!
[09:47] ---
    Hi there, boys and girls!
    Thanks for stopping by!
[09:52] ---
    A really great friend came
    here today for you guys!
[09:56] ---
    That's right: it's Guernica-chan
    from Fullmetal Necromancer!
[10:02] ---
    Okay, let's all call her name together!
[10:07] ---
    One, two--
[10:11] ---
    My name is Astaroth! Guernica's
    running late thanks to a trap I set!
[10:18] ---
    I'm taking you hostage before she gets here.
[10:22] ---
    Oh no! Help!
[10:26] ---
    Now, would one of you kids come
    be a hostage with this young lady?
[10:31] ---
    There's a great free gift waiting for
    whoever lets me take them hostage!
[10:35] ---
    Can't ask for more than that...
[10:38] ---
    Me!
[10:39] ---
    Me, me! I'll be a hostage for you!
[10:42] ---
    Wh-What are you doing?!
[10:44] ---
    Don't worry, Kobato-chan,
[10:47] ---
    I'll get the free gift for you, okay?
[10:48] ---
    Hey, are you serious?
[10:50] ---
    I don't care about a gift
    from this stupid show.
[10:50] ---
    Of course!
[10:52] ---
    Er, we'd like to ask the mothers in
    the crowd to let the kids go first.
[10:56] ---
    Huh? "Mothers"?
[11:00] ---
    Fine, then I'll take a child
    in her mother's place!
[11:04] ---
    What are they talking about?
[11:04] ---
    Now, does anybody else want to be my hostage?
[11:06] ---
    I think they're mistaking
    you for Kobato's mother.
[11:09] ---
    M-Me and Kobato-chan, mother and daughter?!
[11:13] ---
    It looks like nobody's raising their hands!
[11:13] ---
    Th-That would mean my husband...
    is you... now wouldn't it?!
[11:18] ---
    That's not even funny!
[11:21] ---
    Yeah, well, I wouldn't like that either!
[11:24] ---
    What's that supposed to mean?! Honestly...
[11:27] ---
    There's a great free gift
    waiting for the hostage!
[11:27] ---
    Could I ask you to come over?
[11:32] ---
    And I mean really great!
[11:35] ---
    Kobato-chan?
[11:37] ---
    Watch your step, okay?
[12:15] ---
    "Guernica-chan♡" "Director - Masashi Kaido"
[12:18] ---
    Pretty cool that you got the
    director's autograph, huh?
[12:20] ---
    Mm-hmm!
[12:21] ---
    Guess you wouldn't have gotten that
    if Sena hadn't raised her hand, huh?
[12:27] ---
    Tha... tha...
[12:29] ---
    Hmm?
[12:31] ---
    Tha-Thank... you...
[12:34] ---
    K-Kobato-chan!
[12:39] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan's so cute
    when she's feeling shy!
[12:43] ---
    I want to thank you, too. Thanks.
[12:46] ---
    I-I didn't do it for you or anything!
[12:49] ---
    It was for Kobato-chan.
[12:52] ---
    And anyway, what was with that
    hag and the horse-head jerk?!
[12:54] ---
    U-Us, married? I mean, sheesh...
[12:58] ---
    Married... that's just dumb!
    First you'd think "couple"...
[13:02] ---
    What'd you say?
[13:04] ---
    Nothing! Hmph!
[13:13] ---
    So, what were you guys up to?
[13:16] ---
    I sat on a bench and read my book.
[13:18] ---
    Rika went on the merry-go-round ten times.
[13:20] ---
    I ate a hot dog! And popcorn,
    and a crêpe, and...
[13:25] ---
    ...what else, again?
[13:25] ---
    I'm sorry you felt like you had
    to buy so much food, Yukimura.
[13:28] ---
    Nonsense, it was an honor to look
    after your younger sister, Aniki.
[13:34] ---
    Here you go.
[13:36] ---
    Yay, curry!
[13:38] ---
    Curry looks like p--
[13:40] ---
    Your life depends on your next words.
[13:43] ---
    Pretty tasty stuff.
[13:45] ---
    Good.
[13:50] ---
    Anyway, what do we do after lunch?
[13:53] ---
    I want to go on the Black Dragon again!
[13:57] ---
    I think we've had enough Black
    Dragon for today. Right?
[14:00] ---
    I-I'm completely up for another ride...
[14:05] ---
    But I suppose we shouldn't
    if you guys are scared!
[14:08] ---
    Don't play tough, Meat. That
    thing had you seconds from death.
[14:11] ---
    Excuse me? Your knees were knocking.
[14:14] ---
    N-No they weren't!
[14:17] ---
    "Noooo!"
[14:18] ---
    Your screams are perfectly
    preserved in my memory.
[14:22] ---
    You're the one who was crying!
[14:24] ---
    N-Not only that, you peed
    a little, didn't you!
[14:27] ---
    H-How did you--
[14:30] ---
    W-Wait, you really did?
[14:33] ---
    Of course not! That lame coaster
    didn't scare me one bit!
[14:38] ---
    Then let's see you prove
    it by going another round!
[14:41] ---
    Bring it on! And you have
    to ride too, obviously!
[14:44] ---
    Because my camera's gonna get a
    photo of the tears on your face!
[14:49] ---
    Wait, did you bring a camera?
[14:52] ---
    Oh yeah, hidden and ready.
[14:55] ---
    Why bother hiding it?
[14:56] ---
    Um... Why should that matter?
[15:03] ---
    "Yokoshima Wonderland"
[15:03] ---
    Big Brother, this way!
[15:19] ---
    We're way up high!
[15:22] ---
    The people look like flecks of dirt.
[15:28] ---
    Man, the Black Dragon really is extreme.
[15:33] ---
    Come to think of it, I wonder
    what happened to Yozora and Sena.
[15:37] ---
    It's been a long time since we split up.
[15:39] ---
    Shall we meet up with them again?
[15:46] ---
    Aniki.
[15:48] ---
    We've found them.
[15:58] ---
    My head hurts...
[16:00] ---
    I feel sick.
[16:01] ---
    Wh-What the heck happened?
[16:03] ---
    We rode it.
[16:05] ---
    Eight times.
[16:06] ---
    You rode the Black Dragon eight times?!
[16:08] ---
    Yozora wouldn't admit that she lost...
[16:11] ---
    Meat wouldn't hurry up and die...
[16:13] ---
    So who won, then?
[16:15] ---
    The battle's still going.
[16:18] ---
    Come on, it's time for the ninth round...
[16:21] ---
    No, don't do it. You both
    fought bravely, okay?
[16:24] ---
    So let's just call it a tie.
[16:26] ---
    Not happening!
[16:27] ---
    Over my dead body.
[16:29] ---
    I'll never let Yozora w--
[16:29] ---
    I'll never let Meat w--
[16:48] ---
    See you in the waiting room at 4:00, then.
[16:51] ---
    "Men's Bath"
[16:55] ---
    Maria, why are you coming to the men's side?
[16:58] ---
    I don't wanna go with them.
    They smell like vomit.
[17:02] ---
    Oh. Well, I guess that's fair.
[17:04] ---
    Yeah! I'm gonna take a bath with big brother!
[17:13] ---
    Aniki.
[17:15] ---
    I shall wash your back for you.
[17:17] ---
    No, I'm fine! I'll do it myself!
[17:21] ---
    I see I am useless to you...
    In that case, I shall--
[17:26] ---
    Okay, fine, you can wash it! Please wash it!
[17:29] ---
    I hear and obey.
[17:41] ---
    Hold on to your sanity, Kodaka! He's a dude!
[17:47] ---
    So this is what a weenie looks like!
[17:49] ---
    Bad girl. Give me back my towel.
[17:53] ---
    Hey, how come you have
    that weird thing on you?
[17:56] ---
    "Weird"? All guys have these.
[18:00] ---
    How come Yukimura doesn't have one, then?
[18:05] ---
    Yukimura's a boy with no weenie! He's weird!
[18:09] ---
    It's because I haven't matured enough.
[18:11] ---
    Huh?!
[18:12] ---
    So will you grow one when you're mature?
[18:15] ---
    Yes. I shall work hard to be
    a full-fledged man like Aniki.
[18:20] ---
    I hope you get one soon!
[18:23] ---
    What are you guys sayi--
[18:32] ---
    It's not there...
[18:36] ---
    Aniki... I'm embarrassed.
[18:42] ---
    Y-Yeah... I guess a kid this cute...
[18:46] ---
    couldn't be a... guy...
[18:48] ---
    Which one next?
[18:49] ---
    That one!
[18:55] ---
    It's hard to believe that right away...
[18:59] ---
    Excuse Rika for a moment.
[19:03] ---
    Wait--Rika?!
[19:15] ---
    My lord, there is no mistaking it!
[19:17] ---
    This is a woman you see before you!
[19:19] ---
    That's what I just told you...
[19:22] ---
    Well, Rika has to check
    these things personally.
[19:25] ---
    Okay, now you convince Yukimura of it.
[19:29] ---
    I didn't have any luck.
[19:31] ---
    Rika doesn't like that you only
    rely on her at times like this...
[19:38] ---
    Yukimura
-ku
... er, -san... This way, please.
[19:48] ---
    Really?
[19:51] ---
    True, my body doesn't have one of those...
[20:00] ---
    Aniki, I'm afraid I am
    not a true Japanese man.
[20:05] ---
    More like you're not a man, period.
[20:09] ---
    Ack, wait! Don't cry, Yukimura!
[20:12] ---
    I deeply apologize.
[20:17] ---
    Say, why did you think you were a boy?
[20:22] ---
    Family circumstances.
[20:24] ---
    Oh...
[20:27] ---
    Wait, that's the end of the explanation?!
[20:30] ---
    Yes.
[20:31] ---
    I'm amazed nobody figured it out before.
[20:33] ---
    Apparently a few people have noticed
    and pointed it out to her before,
[20:37] ---
    but she says she paid them no mind.
[20:39] ---
    I-I see...
[20:40] ---
    I'm amazed Rika managed to bring her around.
[20:43] ---
    Aniki...
[20:45] ---
    Am I still your sworn brother,
    even though I'm not a boy?
[20:55] ---
    Obviously! You'll always be my brother.
[21:01] ---
    Yes, Aniki. I shall always
    remain your devoted servant.
[21:07] ---
    What are you blushing for, Kodaka?
[21:09] ---
    But oh dear, Yukimura's suddenly
    starting to look really cute to me...
[21:14] ---
    I might find her a little moe!
[21:15] ---
    Moe?!
[21:16] ---
    Sure--she's a pretty-girl maid!
[21:18] ---
    Shit, how could I have been so careless?!
[21:21] ---
    Here I thought he was just an oddball...
[21:23] ---
    Hey... What's with you, Yozora?
[21:25] ---
    She's cute and sweet and submissive!
[21:28] ---
    And a maid who'll be his
    servant on top of that?!
[21:30] ---
    Give me a break!
[21:36] ---
    I can't take it... I have no luck!
[21:40] ---
    Why do things go so badly?!
[21:58] ---
    They all look like normal cute
    girls when they're asleep.
[22:09] ---
    Aniki...
[22:40] ---
    Hikatta hazu no ano hoshi
[22:43] ---
    Mayotta kumo ga jama shite mienaku naru
[22:48] ---
    Nani wo shinjitara ii?
[22:53] ---
    Fuantei sugiru sekai de
[22:56] ---
    Sodatta takaramono kowashikaketeta
[23:02] ---
    Nakusu no ga kowakute
[23:06] ---
    Fujouri datte tameiki tsuki
[23:09] ---
    Torikago de agaiteta hibi
[23:12] ---
    Onaji sora wo miageteta n da bokura wa
[23:18] ---
    Kimi no te wo nigitta toki
    nigirikaeshite kureta ne

[23:25] ---
    Tsunagatta kono te wa donna
    hane yori tsuyoi n da

[23:31] ---
    Tsubasa nante nakutatte
    motto takaku toberu kara

[23:38] ---
    Kitto ima nara daijoubu
[23:41] ---
    Oozora kagayaku hoshi wo tsukamou
[23:51] ---
    I never imagined that I was a girl.
[23:54] ---
    It's not uncommon for a pretty-boy
    character to turn out to be a girl,
[23:57] ---
    but this is the first time Rika's
    seen the girl herself say that line.
[24:00] ---
    Totally. Jeez, novelty isn't
    necessarily a good thing, you know.
[24:04] ---
    My apologies.
[24:07] ---
    Next time: "That Kind
    of Play Is Not Allowed..
[24:09] ---
    and.. My Worldview Is Disturbed
    When You Are Around"!
[24:13] ---
    I wonder who the "you" refers to?
[24:15] ---
    It's you.
[24:15] ---
    A spoiler?!
[24:17] ---