14 - Yeah, My Youth Is Seriously Wrong

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] ---
    Does he seem in a bad mood to you?
[00:17] ---
    If we go near him, we might get punched.
[00:19] ---
    He's here again!
[00:20] ---
    He's scary!
[00:24] ---
    "Hasegawa Kodaka"
[00:28] ---
    My same old life of being
    treated like a Yankee.
[00:32] ---
    The same old after-school hours.
[00:34] ---
    "Common Room 4"
[00:34] ---
    And our same old Neighbors Club...
[00:40] ---
    Yo.
[00:44] ---
    "Kashiwazaki Sena"
[00:50] ---
    Sorry, wrong room.
[00:53] ---
    Hold it, Kodaka!
[00:55] ---
    What do you think?
[00:57] ---
    It looks great on you.
[00:59] ---
    Th-Thanks.
[01:00] ---
    No, no, I'm asking you whether it's funny!
[01:03] ---
    Funny?
[01:04] ---
    Right. We were talking yesterday
    about how we could make friends
[01:08] ---
    by polishing up our comedic skills, remember?
[01:10] ---
    Yeah... So you did this?
[01:12] ---
    Yep! The sign in the toy store said
    "Guaranteed to be a hit with everyone!"
[01:19] ---
    Look, don't take stuff like that seriously...
[01:21] ---
    I couldn't agree more!
[01:23] ---
    As I suspected, a high-level art
    such as comedy was beyond Meat here.
[01:27] ---
    "Mikazuki Yozora"
[01:29] ---
    What's with that getup?!
[01:31] ---
    Today I'm cosplaying the most
    laughable creature in existence.
[01:35] ---
    What do you think, Kodaka? Funny, right?
[01:39] ---
    Okay then, how about this?
[01:42] ---
    "Meat"
[01:44] ---
    Is that actually...?
[01:46] ---
    I'm, like, so rich and pretty!
[01:50] ---
    Hey, I don't talk like that!
[01:52] ---
    I don't talk like that! I'm, like,
    just rich and pretty and that's all!
[01:58] ---
    What exactly makes me a laughable creature?!
[02:00] ---
    And anyway, that's not
    funny, it's just annoying!
[02:03] ---
    Oh? But seeing you ranting and crying
    is always such a good time for me.
[02:08] ---
    You're an awful person!
[02:10] ---
    Anyway, Yozora, aren't you embarrassed
    to be looking like that?
[02:20] ---
    Listen up, you two.
[02:22] ---
    True comedy is about more than
    just one-off gags like that!
[02:25] ---
    You don't get to be
    condescending--you're just Kodaka.
[02:28] ---
    Let's see this "true comedy"
    you speak of, then.
[02:32] ---
    Very well. True comedy... is about talking!
[02:36] ---
    "Talking"?
[02:37] ---
    Oh yeah, I'll give you a
    taste of my hilarious talk!
[02:40] ---
    The title is "Manju Buns Are Scary."
[02:45] ---
    And then Man A says, "Right now
    I'm scared of some hot coffee!"
[02:51] ---
    Huh?
[02:52] ---
    Lame.
[03:08] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:09] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[03:12] ---
    Be My Side
[03:13] ---
    But I saw right through you
[03:15] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[03:19] ---
    I bet I can even reach your hand
[03:27] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[03:28] ---
    It's more than I imagined--every
    day's a roller coaster
[03:33] ---
    I always barreled ahead with everything I had
[03:41] ---
    Our time won't last forever, now will it?
[03:48] ---
    Now is all we have, so let's make
    sure we remember this moment
[03:55] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:56] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[03:58] ---
    Be My Side
[03:59] ---
    But I saw right through you
[04:01] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[04:06] ---
    So I can take your hand
[04:08] ---
    Be My Friend
[04:09] ---
    Yeah, I'm always gazing at the sky
[04:11] ---
    Be My Side
[04:12] ---
    But I'm still drawn to it
[04:15] ---
    One more time! I'll reach out
    to you as many times as you need
[04:19] ---
    I bet I can even reach that star
[04:26] ---
    "My Teen Years SNAFU"
[04:28] ---
    Comedy, eh?
[04:30] ---
    Yes, one does tend to think
    of funny people as popular.
[04:30] ---
    "Shiguma Rika"
[04:33] ---
    Have some tea, Aniki.
[04:36] ---
    Sure.
[04:36] ---
    "Kusunoki Yukimura"
[04:37] ---
    I wish I could have heard
    your funny story too.
[04:40] ---
    You're better off this way.
[04:42] ---
    Yeah, it was terrible.
[04:45] ---
    A-At least I didn't try to get a few
    easy laughs with my hairstyle like you!
[04:49] ---
    Can it, you!
[04:51] ---
    Speaking of hairstyles, I recently got
    some very interesting information.
[04:55] ---
    What do you mean?
[04:56] ---
    According to a magazine I read,
[04:58] ---
    something called a "pouf" is
    popular around town right now
[05:00] ---
    among people with actual lives.
[05:02] ---
    "Pouf"?
[05:03] ---
    You literally poof up your
    hair to give it volume,
[05:05] ---
    and when you've got it really big,
    you put various decorations in it.
[05:09] ---
    Huh, that might be kind of fun.
[05:12] ---
    Rika's seen pictures on the internet!
[05:15] ---
    They almost reminded me of
    medieval European nobility...
[05:18] ---
    Nobility? Hey, that's perfect for me!
[05:21] ---
    In the really extreme ones,
[05:23] ---
    people twist their hair into a
    birdcage and put in a real bird,
[05:26] ---
    or use big accessories that
    spell out the word "love"!
[05:29] ---
    What's that supposed to be,
    a Warring States general?
[05:32] ---
    Since they emphasize individuality
    over functionality,
[05:35] ---
    the overall concept may be the same as
    the one behind Warring States helmets.
[05:38] ---
    Then this "pouf," like the helmets
    of Warring States generals,
[05:42] ---
    is meant to serve as proof of identity
    for those beheaded in battle,
[05:46] ---
    so that their heads will receive
    the respect appropriate to their--
[05:51] ---
    Wrong, Yukimura.
[05:53] ---
    That's a shame.
[05:55] ---
    I don't totally get it, but
    it does seem kind of similar.
[05:58] ---
    Quite. It would take an exceptional
    person to pull off the pouf.
[06:04] ---
    I suppose a commoner would be
    reckless to even attempt it.
[06:07] ---
    Sorry to bore you with talk of
    something so irrelevant to your life.
[06:11] ---
    The safest bet for a commoner would be to
    get an ordinary hairdo at an ordinary salon.
[06:18] ---
    Still, I do hope to see a
    pouf in real life one day!
[06:22] ---
    True, it would be difficult.
[06:25] ---
    There just aren't many people out there
[06:27] ---
    with the naturally aristocratic
    and gorgeous aura needed
[06:30] ---
    to carry off the intense
    self-assertiveness of the pouf style.
[06:33] ---
    True... What a shame.
[06:35] ---
    Talk about an obvious ploy.
[06:37] ---
    But there is one, right here!
[06:39] ---
    And it worked!
[06:40] ---
    An aristocrat overflowing
    with that very aura!
[06:42] ---
    There isn't a woman alive better
    suited to the pouf than me!
[06:46] ---
    Don't strain yourself, Meat.
[06:48] ---
    She's right, Sena-sempai!
[06:50] ---
    The pouf is an extremely tricky hairstyle!
[06:53] ---
    It's not a strain!
[06:54] ---
    The aura of divinity I project from within
    is enough to carry off any hairstyle!
[07:00] ---
    She's such an easy mark...
[07:03] ---
    I see. If you're that set on it, I'll
    poof up your hair for you right now.
[07:07] ---
    Rika has all sorts of tools in
    her lab! Rika will go get them!
[07:11] ---
    Er...
[07:16] ---
    All right, are you ready?
[07:19] ---
    Don't do anything too crazy.
[07:21] ---
    Don't move, Meat.
[07:23] ---
    Now, here we go!
[07:28] ---
    It's pretty nice having
    another girl brush your hair.
[07:32] ---
    Wow, Sena-sempai's hair is so smooth!
[07:36] ---
    And no split ends at all...
[07:38] ---
    I'll give you credit for
    good hair, if nothing else.
[07:40] ---
    Really?
[07:41] ---
    But Yozora-sempai, your hair is
    very pretty too. Rika's jealous!
[07:45] ---
    Sure, I'll give Yozora credit
    for good hair, if nothing else.
[07:48] ---
    But Rika, yours is glossy and pretty too!
[07:51] ---
    I told you not to move!
[07:52] ---
    Is it really?
[07:54] ---
    Yes, it is.
[07:54] ---
    Here, a refill.
[07:56] ---
    Right.
[07:57] ---
    Thank you very much!
[07:58] ---
    All right, it's poofing
    time. Any requests, Meat?
[08:01] ---
    Make me look like someone
    with a real life, please.
[08:05] ---
    A "has a life" theme...
[08:08] ---
    Real social lives make me think... summer?
[08:10] ---
    Oh, nice! Then to give it a "girl with
    real life enjoying summer" feel...
[08:15] ---
    We'll wave the sides to evoke the
    image of rolling ocean waves!
[08:19] ---
    I like it! Now let's try putting in
    ringlets to represent the swirling tides!
[08:25] ---
    And this part will be a summer
    storm, so kind of flashy curls...
[08:28] ---
    What do you think, Sena-sempai?!
[08:30] ---
    Um, yeah, I think it works.
[08:32] ---
    Now for the top. Since
    the sides are the ocean,
[08:35] ---
    the top should be a sandcastle on the beach!
[08:37] ---
    How about using a bikini instead of ribbons?
[08:40] ---
    Ah, yes, a watermelon and some fireworks
    would complete that picture...
[08:43] ---
    Bikini?
[08:45] ---
    Watermelon?!
[08:47] ---
    And why not yakisoba while we're at it?
[08:49] ---
    You're a genius!
[08:50] ---
    Y-Yakisoba?!
[08:51] ---
    Don't move!
[08:52] ---
    I shall go purchase a swimsuit, a
    watermelon, fireworks, and yakisoba.
[08:56] ---
    Thanks!
[08:59] ---
    Kodaka!
[09:01] ---
    Sorry. There's nothing I can do.
[09:04] ---
    Poke, poke, poke, poke!
[09:06] ---
    Fly! Go on, fly!
[09:06] ---
    "Takayama Maria"
[09:10] ---
    Um...
[09:12] ---
    Ack! I'm doing it! I'm doing it, just
    like I'm supposed to, I promise!
[09:18] ---
    Oh, Yukimura.
[09:20] ---
    What are you doing, Sister Maria?
[09:23] ---
    The old hag is making me do forced
    labor as punishment for slacking off.
[09:23] ---
    "I did something naughty. I'm very sorry."
[09:27] ---
    So, what are you doing?
[09:30] ---
    You see, Sena-anego blah
    blah so on and so forth...
[09:34] ---
    Oh, so you want something summery!
[09:37] ---
    In that case, take these!
[09:46] ---
    All done!
[09:48] ---
    I call it the "Ultimate-Satisfying-Social-Life-
    Meets-Midsummer-Night's-Dream Mega Max Pouf"!
[10:00] ---
    You look super-cute, Sena-sempai!
[10:03] ---
    That's just not right...
[10:05] ---
    It really is cute.
[10:07] ---
    Your head would make a
    magnificent war trophy.
[10:10] ---
    R-Really? It looks that good on me?
[10:12] ---
    Seriously, it looks super-good!
[10:14] ---
    It's not simply gaudy.
[10:16] ---
    It evokes the poignantly
    ephemeral nature of our world.
[10:18] ---
    I'm jealous. Now I wish I'd tried
    a pouf before I cut my hair!
[10:24] ---
    Yeah, this might be a real winner!
[10:26] ---
    Have you lost your minds?
[10:28] ---
    Well? What do you think, Kodaka?
[10:31] ---
    It... It really expresses
    the group aesthetic.
[10:35] ---
    Doesn't it just? Okay, I'm going home now!
[10:39] ---
    Will she be okay?
[10:46] ---
    Oh, Kodaka!
[10:49] ---
    Hi, Sena.
[10:50] ---
    Daddy was so mad at me when I got
    home yesterday! Can you believe it?
[10:57] ---
    He gave me lots spankings, and he
    made me put my hair back to normal!
[11:01] ---
    It's awful!
[11:03] ---
    O-Oh, I see...
[11:05] ---
    Good job, Pegasus-san.
[11:09] ---
    Rika got carried away
    by excitement yesterday,
[11:12] ---
    but now that she's calmed down,
    she realizes that was wrong.
[11:15] ---
    I went a little too far.
[11:17] ---
    We're sorry, Meat.
[11:19] ---
    At least let this end as
    a funny story! Dummies!
[11:26] ---
    And so the club meeting ended
    in disappointment once again.
[11:42] ---
    "Today" "Why aren't you here?"
[11:44] ---
    "Studying for a test"
[11:51] ---
    "Unimportant! Come to the club room"
[11:54] ---
    "It's important! Is something
    up in the club room?"
[12:01] ---
    "Only Yukimura is here! (><)"
[12:08] ---
    Guess I'd better go.
[12:10] ---
    "Kobato-chan just came (°^^°)
    Don't need you, Kodaka! (^^)"
[12:13] ---
    I see how it is.
[12:17] ---
    Hello?
[12:18] ---
    Bro!
[12:19] ---
    Help me!
[12:20] ---
    Kobato-chan, wait!
[12:23] ---
    No! Help me!
[12:25] ---
    Sheesh, what are they doing?
[12:29] ---
    I heard a scream come through the phone!
[12:30] ---
    Think someone was kidnapped?
[12:34] ---
    That's not it...
[12:38] ---
    "Hasegawa Kobato"
[12:52] ---
    "Come to think of it" "Kodaka,
    are you in bad shape for finals?"
[12:55] ---
    "Dunno"
[13:01] ---
    "Come to my house tomorrow,
    then. We'll study together."
[13:05] ---
    I heard Sena's got the
    top GPA in our grade...
[13:14] ---
    Kobato, I'm gonna study at Sena's
    place for a while this afternoon.
[13:18] ---
    Okay.
[13:19] ---
    Want to come along?
[13:25] ---
    What's wrong?
[13:28] ---
    My other half, I bid you take care.
[13:32] ---
    In other words, you're not going.
[13:35] ---
    She's... so scary...
[13:37] ---
    Yeah.
[13:39] ---
    She really hates you, Sena...
[13:53] ---
    "Private Property"
[13:55] ---
    Welcome, Kodaka-kun.
[14:08] ---
    Kodaka, you're here!
[14:10] ---
    All right, study hard for finals.
[14:13] ---
    Oh, Daddy, are you done with Kodaka already?
[14:16] ---
    Yes.
[14:17] ---
    What was that about?
[14:20] ---
    Daddy's always asking me how
    you're doing, so I thought
[14:24] ---
    maybe he had something he
    needed to talk to you about...
[14:26] ---
    I... I-I am not constantly asking!
[14:33] ---
    Hayato asked me to look after
    you, so of course I'm concerned.
[14:37] ---
    I don't really understand that guy...
[14:40] ---
    Okay, Kodaka, let's study in my room!
[14:47] ---
    Here it is. Come on in.
[14:49] ---
    Uh, right...
[14:52] ---
    Hurry up!
[14:58] ---
    Th-This is...
[15:05] ---
    They're great pictures, right?
[15:06] ---
    That jerk hardly ever lets her
    guard down, so it was hard work!
[15:10] ---
    Did you take these photos?
[15:12] ---
    Yep, I got them on the sly
    with my digital camera!
[15:15] ---
    That's sneak photography!
[15:17] ---
    Scary! This girl is scary!
[15:19] ---
    Wh-Why did you do that?
[15:22] ---
    Here, look at this!
[15:25] ---
    Don't tell me this is the same one...?
[15:27] ---
    Mm-hmm! I bought it off Yozora.
[15:30] ---
    What?!
[15:31] ---
    You know the phrase "perseverance
    for vengeance," right?
[15:33] ---
    Yeah, isn't that from the ancient story
    about the guy who nursed his grudge
[15:37] ---
    by sleeping on a pile of firewood every
    night and eating bitter liver meat
[15:41] ---
    until he finally got revenge
    on his father's killer?
[15:43] ---
    There you have it.
[15:46] ---
    By staring at Yozora's stupid
    face every night at bedtime
[15:49] ---
    while inhaling the scent of the wig she wore,
[15:52] ---
    I remember the humiliation
    she's put me through
[15:54] ---
    and psych myself up about
    someday making her pay!
[15:59] ---
    One day I'm gonna make that
    jerk beg me for mercy!
[16:02] ---
    Kashiwazaki Sena... A fearsome
    woman in more ways than one.
[16:11] ---
    Say...
[16:15] ---
    What?
[16:16] ---
    Oh, um, it's about this problem...
[16:18] ---
    I already solved that one for you.
[16:21] ---
    Um, my issue is that I
    don't know how to solve it,
[16:23] ---
    not just that I need the answer...
[16:26] ---
    What? Why can't you get something so easy?
[16:29] ---
    Are you stupid?
[16:32] ---
    Fine! I'll do the rest myself!
[16:35] ---
    Be quick about it, okay?
[16:36] ---
    Jeez, how can someone be
    so not geared for teaching?
[16:41] ---
    Pardon me.
[16:43] ---
    I've brought you some refreshments.
[16:46] ---
    It's been a while, Kodaka-sama.
[16:48] ---
    How are matters progressing?
[16:50] ---
    Oh, not too badly.
[16:52] ---
    I see. Please use this, if you'd like.
[16:58] ---
    Huh?!
[16:59] ---
    Please enjoy yourselves.
[17:02] ---
    Kodaka, what did Stella give you?
[17:06] ---
    I-It's nothing!
[17:07] ---
    Stella*-san* is way too mysterious for me!
[17:10] ---
    Show it to me!
[17:12] ---
    Stop! Stop it!
[17:14] ---
    Show it to me!
[17:18] ---
    What are you looking at?!
[17:19] ---
    I-I wasn't looking at anything!
[17:26] ---
    Ugh, I'm sick of studying.
    Want to play a game?
[17:29] ---
    A game? Sheesh...
[17:31] ---
    Well, I guess it's okay as long
    as it's just a little breather.
[17:35] ---
    Okay! Let's do this one, then.
[17:37] ---
    Oh, I've played that one with Kobato.
[17:44] ---
    "Fullmetal Necromancer"
[17:44] ---
    So you own it, too?
[17:46] ---
    I just recently bought it.
    Kobato-chan loves the anime, right?
[17:51] ---
    Uh-huh...
[17:52] ---
    I got all the Blu-rays a while back, too.
[17:54] ---
    I haven't watched them yet, but
    next time Kobato-chan comes over...
[17:59] ---
    Thank goodness I didn't bring Kobato with me.
[18:03] ---
    Shatter the very soul of my
    enemy! Nine Lives Breaker!
[18:22] ---
    That makes a ten-win streak for me!
[18:22] ---
    Hmph! Amateur.
[18:24] ---
    Man, and you were a total
    n00b in the beginning, too...
[18:29] ---
    I'm a genius at everything, you see.
[18:32] ---
    I wish I could deny that, but I can't.
[18:34] ---
    Whoa, it's evening already!
[18:36] ---
    And we didn't get any studying
    for finals done at all...
[18:40] ---
    Ugh, I'm going home.
[18:43] ---
    Pardon me.
[18:46] ---
    Sena-sama, Kodaka-sama, dinner is ready.
[18:50] ---
    You heard her. Have some
    food before you go, Kodaka.
[18:53] ---
    Oh... okay...
[18:59] ---
    Thank you for the meal.
[19:01] ---
    Well, I'd better be getting home.
[19:03] ---
    Kodaka*-kun.*
[19:04] ---
    Yes?
[19:04] ---
    Stay here for the night.
[19:06] ---
    No, I--
[19:07] ---
    Stay the night.
[19:10] ---
    Yes, Sir...
[19:17] ---
    "Can't come home tonight" "Eat
    some cup noodles or whatever."
[19:25] ---
    ♪ Ah, beneath that long-ago sky! ♪
[19:35] ---
    I always seem to get thrown off
    balance when I visit this house...
[19:43] ---
    President?!
[19:45] ---
    I'll wash your back.
[19:46] ---
    Th-Thank you, but that's quite all right!
[19:49] ---
    You're as circumspect as usual, I see.
[19:51] ---
    Hayato would be tossing the
    soap at me without a care.
[19:56] ---
    But there's no need for such concern.
[19:57] ---
    It really concerns me!
[20:05] ---
    How's that?
[20:06] ---
    I-I think that's good, Sir.
[20:09] ---
    This reminds me of the first time
    Hayato ever took me to a bathhouse.
[20:15] ---
    By the way, Kodaka-kun...
[20:17] ---
    Yes?
[20:18] ---
    Is my daughter being bullied
    at school, by any chance?
[20:23] ---
    Hmm? No, I don't think so...
[20:26] ---
    Oh...
[20:27] ---
    You see, the other day
[20:29] ---
    Sena came home with fried squid
    and yakisoba on her head...
[20:34] ---
    It may be hard to believe, but it's true.
[20:37] ---
    I... I had no idea...
[20:39] ---
    At the time she told me "This is a
    high-class hairstyle worthy of my greatness,"
[20:45] ---
    so I scolded her harshly,
[20:47] ---
    but now that I've calmed down, I can't
    imagine such a foolish style exists.
[20:52] ---
    She's a very proud young woman.
[20:54] ---
    I worried that she might have
    said those absurd things
[20:57] ---
    to hide the fact that she'd been bullied.
[21:00] ---
    I-I see...
[21:02] ---
    Um, Mr. President?
[21:05] ---
    Have you been inside Sena's bedroom recently?
[21:08] ---
    No, ever since she entered high school
[21:10] ---
    she hasn't liked me to go into her room.
[21:14] ---
    It's only natural for a
    girl that age, really.
[21:17] ---
    Mr. President, your daughter's actually
    turned into a creepy stalker!
[21:23] ---
    No, I can't say that...
[21:26] ---
    Well, I don't think she's
    being bullied, Sir. Probably.
[21:32] ---
    I hope you're right...
[21:38] ---
    I swear that if Sena were
    ever to get bullied,
[21:40] ---
    I would protect her!
[21:42] ---
    So please, rest easy.
[21:45] ---
    You would? Yes, you would!
[21:47] ---
    Then she's in your care, Kodaka-kun!
[21:49] ---
    I know she'll be in good hands with you!
[21:51] ---
    Yes, Sir!
[21:52] ---
    "In your care"? That seems
    kind of overblown...
[21:56] ---
    Oh well, whatever.
[21:59] ---
    At this point, I had yet to realize
    that I was getting steadily mired
[22:03] ---
    in a situation beyond all salvaging.
[22:07] ---
    One day, Yozora! Just you wait!
[22:40] ---
    A stray cloud blocks my view
[22:43] ---
    Of the star I know should be shining there
[22:48] ---
    What should I believe in?
[22:53] ---
    I was on my way to breaking
[22:56] ---
    The treasure bred in this
    all too changeable world
[23:02] ---
    Because I was afraid of losing it
[23:06] ---
    Those days of sighing "This is absurd"
[23:09] ---
    And flailing inside my birdcage
[23:12] ---
    We were gazing up at the same sky
[23:18] ---
    When I gripped your hand, you
    gripped back, didn't you?
[23:25] ---
    These joined hands are
    stronger than any wings
[23:31] ---
    We can fly higher even without wings
[23:38] ---
    So I know we'll be okay trying now
[23:41] ---
    Let's grab the stars twinkling in the sky
[23:50] ---
    The anime's second season has begun at last!
[23:53] ---
    In Season 2, now that I've cut my hair
    and I'm not playing around anymore,
[23:57] ---
    clearly I'll do remarkable things
    worthy of the main heroine,
[23:59] ---
    be lauded as trusted leader of my
    troublesome Neighbors Club members,
[24:03] ---
    become someone with a decent real
    life, grow even closer to Kodaka,
[24:06] ---
    and have a rosy future!
[24:08] ---
    I'm looking forward to it!
[24:10] ---
    "Homo Game Club"
[24:10] ---
    Next time: "Homo Game Club."
[24:12] ---
    I'm looking forward to it...
[24:14] ---